The CONTINUAL STUPIDITY Of Humanity In Alien Covenant Explained

[@RoanokeGaming]

Use code ROANOKE50 to get 50% OFF your first Factor box plus 20% off your next month of orders at bit.ly/4aHplpJ! Thanks for watching guys! Hope you enjoy! Got halloween merch dropping!: www.roanokemerch.com

[@newbornviking9721]

Roanoke Gaming Can you please do a video on The Aztec From mortal Kombat

[@marcctwain8504]

STAY STRAPPED OR GET CLAPPED. HUMANITY #1 BABY!

[@dragnothlecoona]

Hey, just so you know, the Aliens have an actual weakness. Thanks to them having Acid blood, they are basically extremely easily killable with Alkaline/bases. You could quiet literally give your soldiers armor with a thick layer of bleach held in by a plastic covering. this would mean that if acid gets poured on them, the bleach would react with it, producing poison gas. but as long as the suit itself isn't breached the person inside will be fine. the gas released would be harmful to xenomorphs eating away at there very flesh. (chlorine gas and other gases depending upon the nature of the xenomorph's blood) the bleach or base covered weapons, would be extremely effective, and thanks to the xenomorphs own biology, the poison would spread rapidly through there system thanks to there multiple hearts, if lets say someone had a gun that shot bases at the xenomorphs. this would result in the total breakdown of there entire biology. and whats even better, it would help to keep acid from splashing everywhere helping to protect yourself. you could even use bases to remove facehuggers easily. though the person would have chemical burns afterwards. this could be done by injecting the facehugger with basically bleach or ammonia. and then by using an oxygen tank, keep the person breathing and filter away the poison gas emitted. so simply put the ultimate weapon against xenomorphs is a bathroom supply of bleach. even coating weapons in it would be super effective. and it as well as any strong base would be an absolutely deadly poison to xenomorphs far more then to humans or any other living creature. enough base shoved inside a xenomorph may even cause them to explode from the sudden reaction and release of gases throughout there entire body.

[@SpidaMatt]

You need to rerecord your factor promo, you're still wearing a wedding ring in it

[@EdwinCaldwellBills]

please do biology of the tyrnids from Warhammer 40k

[@amharbinger]

What if the Earth is attempting to get rid of the most incompetent humans by sending them off planet. Knowing full well they'll end up getting themselves ended.

[@zeframmann1641]

This was literally a plot point of one of the "Hitchhiker's Guide tot he Galaxy" books. (And actually, the more that I think of what became of that ship the more the events of these movies makes sense.)

[@normalhuman9878]

That would actually explain a lot

[@lordfrostwind3151]

Operation Clorox the Gene Pool continues in spectacular fashion, after the initial success of removing cooky old Weyland and his idiot daughter from the corporate world.

[@silvandarart]

Expensive method

[@xsanguine8]

These are just the delivery people, the actual scientists and leaders that will build the new colony are the ones still in their cryo-pods.

[@sjbrooksy45]

After the massive amount of crap people gave Prometheus for how dumb the characters were, I really respect this movie for doubling down.

[@HashknightGaming]

Honestly if you have logical reasoning in a character that makes it hard to write for said character.

[@zugabe3624]

Ya its not just the way the characters act that gets people upset. It's this entire set of new films and the massive amount of lore that is destroyed. Personally I do not take these films as part of the original universe. They are a travesty.

[@SiriusSphynx]

​@@zugabe3624 Same. Thankfully I read somewhere that it was never stated that the engineers made the black goo. On the original derelict ship there seems to be shrines or murals depicting the xenomorph form. Almost as if they discovered it and harnessed the goo from it.

[@wolfiewoo3371]

@@HashknightGaming They should have hired better writers then. It's not rocket science.

[@bloodyrose7252]

No, but it is pencil science ​@@wolfiewoo3371

[@cannon26ify]

Captain Christian: Doesn't trust the shady android David Also Captain Christian: Sticks his face near an alien egg cause David said its safe 2 minutes later

[@highwaystar7340]

A deleted scene explained the why he was trusting him enough to stick his face near the egg, he got the captain to put a drug on his face because david said the room they were about to enter has toxic air or something.

[@GoldNargacuga]

@@highwaystar7340 david outplayed his ass

[@lordfrostwind3151]

"In the name of science I'm gonna stick my face in it!"

[@tdylan]

@@GoldNargacuga Bragging about being smarter than idiots.

[@CallMeKes]

Well, we should also take into account the fact that, to the Captain, it is a completely alien idea for an android to have any ill will or even be able to hurt someone. Even in the alien movie the android had to be programmed to be willing to kill to get the alien back to Earth so they could study/use it.

[@TarossBlackburn]

Landing scenes like that always bring me back to Galaxy Quest. "You can't just go out there! Is there air? You don't know!"

[@Mate397]

When a parody film is written better than a "serious" one.

[@AltoStratusX1]

What's insane to me is that the AVERAGE PERSON questions the air/no space suit thing. Like you had a whole production team, editors, directors and writers that all made this product and thought "eh it's make believe nobody will care" when it's so STUPID it takes you out of the movie before you can even invest in it. All it would have taken to make it somewhat passable is a throwaway line about "that's wierd, the test drone reports no microbes in the air?" And "oh no the pulse thing damaged all the life support suits! We'll have to 'raw dog this hooker' as Roanoke put it!"

[@Kaltrogdor]

Its crazy how much the trained scientists in space travel movies act like the human crew of Galaxy quest.

[@thegreenmanofnorwich]

Even they had occasional calls to logic. Like Guy when they landed on the planet with the beryllium spheres, or Gwen when they come to the chompers.

[@mj_SR22]

Now, now, this is of great disrespect to the human cast and later crew of Galaxy Quest. They knew their complete incompetence, panicked immediately as is appropriate, and thus ended up constantly asking for help. The scientists just assume they know what they're doing. =)

[@boomboomskidskid]

This is a fundamental misunderstanding of how people work. This is the same complaint as when people yell "don't go upstairs!" In a slasher movie. People aren't computers. People make bad and dumb decisions because of panic and hubris literally constantly. Evrything these people do is understandable if you have the right context. You just approach art like it's a math problem instead of a story

[@fonztorres]

That terrible but awesome movie will always have a soft spot in my heart.

[@fonztorres]

​@@boomboomskidskidOkay Mr. Pedant, they're just making an observation, not making some grand and definitive declaration of the sum of human nature. The mistakes they make in the movie are crazy. People can be crazy. It's not that deep.

[@mj_SR22]

"Lady, you have blood on your face. You are part of the quarantine event." - This should be on your merch.

[@RaizelSX]

I used to feel how you feel about the scientist in this movie taking no precautions, until I found out about the one biologist that went to a newly made island and took a literal dump there contaminating it, and then I realized no amount of precautions can save us from dumb

[@crackedjabber]

Using the words 'fool proof' is just challenging the universe to create a better fool. The universe has risen to the occasion without fail and the fools remain undefeated.

[@mariawhite7337]

Ah yes the guy ate a tomato and the seed survived his digestive system!

[@krashdummiez007]

Look at how “medical professionals” reacted in 2020 to the panda demic. I’m not surprised

[@depressedTrent]

They weren't scientists, they were colonists, their sole job was fly the ship to designated planet and build bunch of houses and farms and other basic infrastructure. None of them was probably even told humans aren't alone, let alone trained for how to handle combat against alien life forms or even combat in general, aside of pacifying eventual criminals/mutiny on newly established colony... (Also given all the released clips, it's not far fetched Wayland sent that ship as load of new guinea pigs for David to continue his research of black goo and consequentially crew wasn't trained properly on purpose so they don't give David too much of hard time)

[@exnihiloadnihilum5094]

​@depressedTrent which may fly later in the timeline when colonies and human space travel are common place things akin to over-road trucking. But this is an early, of not the first, human colony ship. Astronauts are trained up for anything they may need to do. Nobody going into space is monotasked and you don't send idiots. Basic PPE and hazard protocols would have been drilled in by the very fact they are entering an extraterrestrial environment that has had no human exposure. Even environmental compounds, even if not toxic, could trigger anaphylaxis because our bodies have never been exposed. Anyone sending people with no such training is literally asking for the colony to be DOA. Armageddon did it backwards: you train Astronauts how to drill, not crash course drillers on space.

[@Reapxsoexbudgets]

I think my main issue with this movie was how this team was sent out with a clear directive and purpose: to get the colonists to Origae-6, decided they didn't want to get back into their sleeper pods and instead of maybe just staying awake for a bit and rotating cryosleep within the group throughout those 7 years, they decide to stop their mission and go check out a planet that they had absolutely NO information on, with no PPE as Roanoke mentioned and basically screwed themselves and the colony they were supposed to be transporting. 🤦🤦🤦

[@N7Landry]

Never heard these films described so well, "everyone makes the stupidest decisions in a horror movie"

[@roempoetliar7995]

This is a horror movie? More like a comedy

[@gmork1090]

Heck no. Watch "The Thing" for example. Everyone there makes good decisions, there's just no way to win because the monster is everywhere and everyone.

[@MorrisseyMuse]

They're not as stupid as you think, it's just the in thing to critique.

[@Interweb_Gremlin]

​@@MorrisseyMuseThey went on a planet they knew nothing about with no helmets, no suits, just clothing. They are as stupid as we think they are.

[@merafirewing6591]

​@@roempoetliar7995 make it more like horror comedy gone wrong.

[@arachnoid2569]

At this point I would kill for a movie that is focused on colonizing a planet in a very competent way.

[@69Kazeshini]

Same

[@rozu7772]

Me too.

[@Parapon3ra]

That would be boring af tho.

[@FirstLast-wk3kc]

@@Parapon3ra not uf you are excited about actual problems, human conflicts and love educational programs. There's so much you can do there, without incompetent shit

[@chey7691]

​@@Parapon3raThere are plenty of ways it could go wrong, that aren't due to plain incompetence. So if it's boring, it's the creators fault.

[@onieyoh9478]

Fun fact: according to the Alien Covenant prequel book, this is the first colony ship ever sent to colonize another solar system... I want you to think about the many ways in which that makes no sense logically or in universe.

[@MarioTheLiopleurodon]

At this point, I invoke death of the author. Ridley has no idea what he's doing and should never be allowed to touch the franchise again. We can keep the black goo, we can keep the engineers, but that's it. By keeping the engineers, I mean we keep them as a concept but retconning their looks. Instead of humanoid albino "buff handsome squidward", just make them look like their space suits (the statues, corpses, and holograms in Prometheus show this).

[@davidarredondo2017]

​@@MarioTheLiopleurodon Agreed my headcanon is that the Engineers worship and based their tech of the Space Jockey which is a much older race

[@Scudboy17]

I haven't read the book, but in other sci-fi colony ships like this are not uncommon. Some stories call them "Hail Mary" or even "Sewer Slide" ships because they are essentially one shot, no return ticket trips. You make it to your taget world and manage to create a colony, or you disappear all together.

[@carloszestyboy2901]

Ridley’s past his prime and just needs to retire. Dude has no clue what’s going on anymore.

[@louiscypher4186]

​@@Scudboy17 The one way trip might be a common trope but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. what is the point of a colony if it can't be supported and likewise bring resources into the empire. Two way travel is a must for the investment to be worth it. Additionally forward pushing embryos and all of that doesn't make sense either, it's simply detracting from supplies that could go towards the terraforming effort. Once the colony succeeds that's the time to look towards reproduction.

[@jmpf]

If you notice, David's Xenos are taller, skinnier, have no armor and are also more brutish. They used to be called Protomorphs and be considered a prototype, that recently (and by popular demand) changed to them being called Praetomorphs and being David stealing the Engineers copyrighted creations.

[@FlavioSantos-uw1mr]

Here we go, how humanity in Alien got to interstellar level is beyond me, with that level of intelligence we should have been extinct ages ago

[@Blasted2Oblivion]

Makes some sense when you consider those are different fields. Build a ship that can get to the stars is a different skillset than exploring an alien world.

[@gogeta667]

I liked the AVP origin better. The Yautja left relics here on accident that Weyland-Yutani reverse engineered and BAM we got FTL travel. The Aliens were ancient prey of the Yautja with an unknown origin. All we knew from that was that the Yautja prefer hunting them from earth.

[@olencone4005]

@@Blasted2Oblivion Yeah, exploring an alien world might involve skills like following a 3D map, or understanding how terrain flows sufficiently to know when to run straight or zig to the side, or recognizing the basic warning signs of aggression in wildlife, or just being able to shoot straight... none of which the characters in this franchise -- despite often being introduced as experts in their fields -- know how to do :P

[@nobleman9393]

Maybe it's like Idiocracy, Humans were just getting dumber and dumber as time went on.

[@y21-h5r]

It's no wonder the engineers hate us and want to destroy all of humanity

[@Neptune0404]

My friend made up a plot change where it wasn't just the captain that died, but the whole crew that was awake died and these are all just whoever was "the best fitted for the job" amongst the cryogenically frozen crew intended to help build up the colony once it was settled (as in, they have no idea what they're doing). Makes all their mistakes more believable (still dumb, but at least you have a reason for why they did it this way)

[@retsaMinnavoiG]

That is worlds better

[@krashdummiez007]

That would be a wayyy more interesting movie tbh. The first part of the movie could be them struggling to repair the ship and show their incompetence. Then they find the rogue planet and jump at the chance abandoning all protocol

[@shydog7276]

That would be immeasurably more tolerable than this shit post of a film lol.

[@alexshinra6722]

Yes red dewarf but with a alien after them and legit fear at the fact that there only skill sets is fixing the 200 wayland branded vending mechines they brought for commercial use at the colony.

[@SavedByFaith9981]

I like it, would have made mistakes make sense. Most humans in a survival situation who aren’t trained or knowledgeable die very quickly in what people would call “dumb” ways but it’s mainly ignorance not intelligence that causes their death

[@Tundraviper41]

If I remember correctly, the Deacon in a spin off comic who's canonisisty is not known, but the Deacon straight up became a living MOUNTAIN.

[@tirefish]

You're telling me that short king became a mountain? A FVCKING MOUNTAIN?!

[@onieyoh9478]

The Fire and Stone comic should have been made into a movie instead of this abomination.

[@zeframmann1641]

@@onieyoh9478 Which isn't saying much.

[@KAISERaw17]

@@tirefish well it was the size of a human when it was born, that engineer guy is huge

[@G-Manfromhalflife]

Yeah but they canonized that with the predator, Predator isn't canon in the alien universe

[@Kraigor1701]

One thing that bugged me is that based the way I understand the way colonizing happens in this universe, you have to buy colonization rights, so just deciding to swap planets is a good way to be declared an illegal colony. Plus the colonist signed up for planet A not Planet B. Changing it like that is probably a huge breach of contract.

[@osirisatot19]

I think this is before they established those kinds of rules. Also I'm just going to pretend like this and Prometheus exist in a separate and far dumber universe than the on in the first two Alien films.

[@SA80TAGE]

Covenant is 2104, Alien is 2122

[@MartyrPandaGaming]

We've seen Marines light a Xenomorph up with a flamethrower, killing it. Not just in the movies either. The Xenonorph walking through a landing craft's exhaust is ridiculous, but still not the most ridiculous thing in these movies.

[@thegreenmanofnorwich]

Alien gets less and less consistent, sensible, and relatable with each entries. I couldn't believe them having no protective gear for the environment. I found Covenant entertaining enough to watch, but there are so very many improbabilites, and so, so, so many unresolved matters. I thought neomorphs were in some ways better than xenomorphs. They have a more subtle means of infection, they seem to gestate a little quicker (except in this one, and Romulus where it takes a couple of minutes), the little fungus sacs are less obvious, and the neomorphs move much faster.

[@Moonlight_Tide]

The last coherent one was Resurrection. At least they tied in multiple attempts until they finally settled on a clone that's mostly enough

[@_KungFuBarbie_]

@@Moonlight_TideResurrection wasn’t coherent at all it was a mess lmao

[@juanausensi499]

@@_KungFuBarbie_ It was a mess, but not because the script. It's the tone that doesn't fit the alien universe.

[@forrest416]

“Raw-dogging a planet” is now living rent free in my head… Thanks a lot Roanoke!

[@SA80TAGE]

Rick knows 😏

[@ragingBob]

Apparently in the original script for Prometheus the engineers returned to earth and found us too violent so they took one human showed him their ways and when he was returned he was crucified sealing our fate to them.

[@themiddleproject2032]

In case anyone is wondering the reason why the "Engineers" are so hyped when the ship shows up is because they aren't true Engineers. They are a sub-race of Engineers that the real one's created similar to that of Humanity, but as you can see from their attire in the movie it's not living material like real Engineer's would've used these sub-engineers' use dead material just like Humanity does, nor do they possess space faring technology like that of their true counterparts. They reason they are so hyped for the ship to show up is because they basically thought their gods were coming down to bestow them with a gift, or presumably resources of some kind. Unfortunately David was now the one at the helm of the ship, and the weaponized payload that the ship contained. Most likely given time the Engineers would have wiped out this sub-species in the same way given the fact that they were morally beginning to grow like Humanity (Not using nature in a symbiotic way as the real Engineer's do) P.S. It's theorized that David harvested Shaw's eggs, and exposed them to the Black Goo and eventually created the Xeno egg that we see in the movie. Personally I'm not 100% on this theory, but there is some evidence given we know he used Shaw's bodie for experiments with human DNA, and that when the Xeno comes out of the "Captains" chest it's not your typical chestburster but a incredibly small full Xenomorph. Which is obviously not typical for Xeno's.

[@bobwish8851]

wild, this universe is just wild :D had the theory they were engineers but settler types. so when the engineers had their civil war these guys were stuck with stone age tech for the past 2,000 years and were super jazzed to finally get out of it.

[@themiddleproject2032]

@@bobwish8851 Haha for real! I'm a huge sci-fi and lore nerd, so I've read into the Alien, Warhammer, and Halo universes quite a bit. Just so interesting in all their own ways.

[@carloszestyboy2901]

The prevailing theory I’ve seen is that David basically just created a xenomorph “subspecies” rather than creating the traditional xenomorphs we know. The timelines don’t really line up for the traditional xenomorphs to be this young (as the first movie is only 18 years after Covenant) and these xenos still have several differences when compared to traditional xenos (much smaller tail blade, less biomechanical features, faster life cycle, and less intelligent).

[@themiddleproject2032]

@@carloszestyboy2901 Yeah the timeline get's a bit messy with the new trilogy. If we consider the Yautja to be cannon aka the Predator's then the Xeno's we are familiar with in the first movies have been around for thousands maybe even millions of years as the Yautja have built Hunting ground temples both on Earth and other planets around the galaxy designed to breed a swarm of Xeno's for fledgling Yautja's to become "Blooded" and prove themselves as a Hunter. I think the important think's to remember that ties all this together though now is the introduction of the Black Goo into the series as this substance allows the timeline issues to somewhat be absolved. The extended lore tells us that the Engineer's found a primordial god like creature and began to worship it however it would eventually die, but they discovered that it's blood had special properties, and could both destroy and create life on a scale unprecedented. Seeing themselves as the new progenitors of the galaxy they began to experiment and seed life through the galaxy. Essentially all I'm saying is Xeno's have been around a very long time at least in some form or another. Who knows maybe that original god-creature was really just some kind of ascended primal Xeno. Apparently the Deacon turns into a mountain in the extended Prometheus lore, so the scale of such a being isn't impossible for them. However that get's into heavy speculation. We don't quite know if the Engineer's are still around to my knowledge possibly succumbing to their own creation's, or in my personal headcanon possibly pulling a Necron and going into Hypersleep tombs in an attempt to outlive the horrors that they accidentally created.

[@gr33nsk1n]

Ridley Scott already said that was the engineer homeworld. Those are engineers. Your headcanon doesnt count.

[@jamesdav77]

Craptain: Okay, so here were my options. A, quickly duck sideways, dodge the facehugger, then take him out with a spinning back kick, or B, take the facehugger in the face, then roll on the ground and die. [action resumes; Craptain gets impregnated by a facehugger] Craptain : Hmm, should have gone with A.

[@makeda6530]

Did not expect a Kung Pow reference today 🤭

[@refurbishedtechpriest9076]

@@makeda6530 An unexpected surprise, but a welcomed one. 😂

[@MrTerryToughNutts]

I was reading this in a Asian voice before I even realised what is was from 😂

[@Captain.AmericaV1]

*Blame them bloody Angler Fish!!*

[@Yay4IamCute]

IT WAS ANGLER FISH WHO WAS CREATED IN LORD'S IMAGE, NOT YOU ALIEN!

[@Phoenixguyver]

If you really wanna keep him up at night put the image of a angler/xenomorph in his head

[@Captain.AmericaV1]

@@Phoenixguyver I think that would keep most of us up. Nightmare fuel ⛽ 😂😂

[@SinEater_]

😲 Angler aliens!

[@dukenukem69]

Nice over-done sheeple comment you got there

[@TheChildofAuraReborn]

Hi, basic equestrian info person here (which is not saying much, lmao): The whole "blowing air into a horse's nostrils" is supposed to be kind of the equivalent of a friendly greeting to a horse; when horses are greeting each other, they're usually touching noses and huffing air/kind of sniffing, so humans blowing air into their nostrils is supposed to represent that. However, as someone who knows just how batshit insane horses can be, David thinking that the horse is yours forever because you greet it like that is total bullshit and some fairytale levels of horsegirl fantasy crap. A horse can and will fuck you up if they decide there's even ONE thing they don't like about you.

[@benny_lemon5123]

Agreed. Can't trust a horse half as far as you can throw one (foals* DO NOT count! *I call them stork-weasels because honestly)

[@albertocabezas282]

Completely agreed. Horses look beautiful, full of peace creatures but can be really savage when someone pisses them off.

[@TheChildofAuraReborn]

@@benny_lemon5123 I LIKE horses, but yeah they're an animal that requires constant vigilance and you have NO idea what can set them off, even if you spook-train them. I was on a trail ride this year and the horse I was riding got spooked by the horse my friend was riding behind me, because he had tripped. I didn't freak but boy I just about near shit my pants.

[@TheChildofAuraReborn]

@@albertocabezas282 I probably worded my comment too harshly, lol. It's not that they're MEAN, per say, but a lot of people aren't really prepared for how cautious you need to be around them.

[@letsgobrandontrump2024]

I wonder why it’s almost as if horses aren’t in society as much anymore and people haven’t been around them enough to know that they are not harmless and can hurt them in an instant if they misstep and set one off lol

[@ShinyNix86]

The lazy lack of PPE really was a rage bait plot point. Even on earth after a natural disaster, things like black fungus can be disturbed and infect humans. This happened to me when I did SAR & we had a PPE shortage after the 2011 joplin tornado. It got inside my lungs, and I ended up in a month long coma. I yelled a LOT during this movie. I know it's been a long time ago, but some trauma events just don't leave you.

[@depressedTrent]

That's nothing in comparison with factory workers, they HATE using PPE. To the point they take of half of it off the moment management turns around, even if it means loosing sight, hearing or getting your wrists accidentally cut by loose sheet metal... Not mentioning how much people hate using helmets on bicycles (and most of the gear on motorbikes and especially scooters) or seatbelts in cars...

[@ShinyNix86]

@@depressedTrent lol ya, I was a firefighter/EMT for years. I've seen exactly what you're talking about as well. I just mentioned the coma because that one happened to me personally.

[@SavedByFaith9981]

@@depressedTrent well you can’t fix stupid , removing safety in the hopes for efficiency or comfort is dumb and not the same as people being denied PPE because of shortages

[@SavedByFaith9981]

@@depressedTrentthe people in factories who do that (or construction or whatever) have much in common with the crew of this movie LOL I hope none of them develop problems based on their choices

[@depressedTrent]

@@SavedByFaith9981 to be fair, they often want as use the cheapest stuff available, so instead of protective glasses you have fog simulator and good luck doing visual check of structurally critical components like parts protecting you in case of car accident... We have to take of those glasses every piece to actually see anything on it... Part of the problem is what they provide for PPE (and then persecute you if you bring your own of much higher quality) - high quality PPE don't really affects your comfort and don't limits you, but that is NOT what employers are providing.

[@adamreddick1349]

If it's any consolation, before Prometheus, we had a really decent explanation in the Dark Horse comics for the Alien. We just didn't know. They may have been bio engineered, bug we weren't sure. They may have just been a species that was removed from its environment, and its checks and balances were lost with that. And before the black goo, a lot of speculation was that the Alien was the result of a series of applied cancers, I think under a similar principle as the one guy you've previously mentioned who "caught" cancer from a parasite that had it and died. Fascinating, really.

[@Backinblackbunny009]

The patient didn't catch the cancer, the parasite's cells had already been distributed throughout his body, but unlike all other cells that die after leaving the host, these cells keep dividing and bc it was from a parasite, they already had a mechanism for stealing calories from the host. It was more like an infection of a parasitical cancer cell. Very weird.

[@jettfastballs]

Dark Horse really was too good for us. We had no idea how good we had it at the time...

[@vangiecrosby]

James Franco immediately dying in a fiery inferno was what made me love this movie

[@actualartist3082]

get mental help

[@obsidianace9976]

His best role

[@SA80TAGE]

one could say he was more _lit_ than usual.... _truly baked_ even.

[@MobileSuitAce91]

I am so glad other people see the level of stupidity in safety this movie shows. Like, I used to clean out mold infested places and you had straight up full body protection for that. The idea you wouldn't on a foreign planet with life is mind boggling.

[@Doctor_Portly_64]

Speaking of the Neomorph's sight, there's a VR trailer for the film from the perspective of the Neomorph emerging from the man's back and attacking the lady.

[@Sogart1]

Dont forget, they went into the planet DURING A STORM

[@SkelotonSid]

I remember taking my Dad to watch this, we left thinking "The fuck did we just watch".

[@aksshaggy2100]

So the reason for the pod catching fire is that the pod tech in the Alien franchise utilizes a mixture of gases to first put the person to sleep, then preserve bodily functions. If the mixture goes wonky for any reason you'll essentially have the same issues as getting given an incorrect dosage of anesthesia and if you introduce a spark into it, the gases are highly flammable, so you will end up extra crispy. Also dudes name is Weyland, Yutani is another person who had different company under their name and eventually merged with the Weyland corporation, hence Weyland-Yutani Corporation.

[@kevinpoe8137]

Incase you’re wondering what happened to the other neomorph, there’s a deleted scene where it squared up to the praetomorph and got absolutely wrecked😂

[@SOR-05]

That sounds fun. I wish I could have seen it. I also think it would be a good way to show that the preatomorph is way more deadly than the neomorph.

[@kevinpoe8137]

@@SOR-05 yup, it would’ve been the best part of the movie

[@snodog00]

The first time I watched this movie, I literally facepalmed when they just went down without ANY research to the quality of the air. When I saw they were stepping out of the ship with hats on, my jaw hit the floor. I couldnt believe any Hollywood writer would not know that was probably the worst possible way to survey a new planet. Thats anti-intelligence.

[@mikemurphy5898]

Probably less Hollywood writer and more level of the audience. You'll notice most people never mentioned it. Lol

[@conked944]

FIRE BEING THE ALIENS WEAKNESS AND HAVING ONE JUST CRAWL THROUGH A THRUSTER WHAT

[@WizardDog829]

I don't think it's a weakness it's more like a deterrent since there hasn't been a single instance where a xeno has died of being burned to death.

[@Marin_Huron]

@@WizardDog829 If it can crawl through a thruster, why is it deterred by a flamethrower? It makes no sense. I get that if my life depends on it, I would go through a wall of fire even though fire is bad for me. In these recent movies, I am not sure that fire IS bad for the alien. A thruster did not damage at all to it, why not charge through the falmethrower and kill the wielder? Heck, it doesn't even react to the flames of the thruster, why not walk through the fire, say 'It tickles!' and do some Scary Movie shit. We might as well turn it into parody. It has nothing to do with space sci-fi horror anymore.

[@WizardDog829]

@Marin_Huron I believe it's just a mistake on the directors part. not knowing how xenomorphs behave. Even though he's the one who created them. But late me break it down for you (starts break dancing) nah but aliens are highly resistant it has been said multiple times that xenomorphs can survive in just about any environment so being burned by a flamethrower or thrusters wouldn't make sense to actually harm a xenomorph it's more of an instinctual thing all animals do is avoid fire. But in actuality, it's just a deterrent like being sprayed by pepper spray. You're not going to die, but it hurts, and it's annoying as fuck. Xenomorphs are supposed to be highly intelligent, so the protomorph just running through the thruster is just stupid it could've easily just gone around it and also slipped through the forklift thingy easily with how flexible the protomorph is. I can explain everything about the behaviors of xenomorphs because, for some reason, I was hyper fixated on them, but I don't want to write an entire book in the comments on that.

[@thomasjoychild4962]

@@WizardDog829 Also, the protomorph/praetomorph is not a variant of the standard xeno, it's a sibling species. They're a bit bigger and tougher than xenos but they're also way more aggressive and less intelligent, they'll go straight for prey rather than stalking it and ignore obstacles they can charge through.

[@cody1o3]

So the infection point is actually how the bloodbursters determine where they come out from. their life stages are actually detailed heavily in the TTRPG Alien RPG. Yes it's official and it's full of tons of lore.

[@alexschmeling2655]

Before I get to that part of the video, I hope that Roanoke also cheered at the craptain getting a chest burster to sing hello my baby hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal. WORST space captain to ever captain a space vessel, which includes dead space unitologists 😂

[@straingedays]

Apart from Looney Toons "One Froggy Evening" .. Spaceballs is what I think of when hearing *_hello my baby hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal_*

[@sarahsmith840]

@@straingedays "check please!"

[@ab5olut3zero95]

@@straingedays”oh, he had the Special…”

[@nealjroberts4050]

And this is why the Engineers hated humanity! I'm honestly wondering if there was some sort of stupidity plague on Earth at the start of these prequels.

[@randallbesch2424]

It seems to reach back to this group of Engineers.

[@gmork1090]

There was. It's called "How dare this hippie nobody born to a common carpenter show up and decide everyone should love each other and forgive, let's beat him to death and hang his body on some planks". That's literally the reason by Ridley. Jesus was the engineers last attempt to make Earth as peaceful as the "Paradise" David ruined. It failed so the backstory plot of Prometheus is the engineers made corrupted black goo to destroy earth, but it killed them instead.

[@nealjroberts4050]

@@gmork1090 wtf? 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@theenderdestruction2362]

@@nealjroberts4050 I have no idea what the frag they said

[@bendarby1895]

As someone who just did an overnight shift at a grocery store. Papa Roanoke posting a video is so perfect to unwind to!

[@crypto66]

The PPE TED Talk reminded me of something recently, of how hollywood totalitarian dystopias often don't seem all that totalitarian because they're written by people who have no never actually experienced totalitarianism. This was released in 2017; I wonder how The Cough affected fictional portrayal of hygiene?

[@blaah9999]

Nah. We still had Contagion and outbreak long before even this and people still acted stupid during covid and coughed on people on purpose. 🤦‍♀️

[@anasazidarkmoon]

​@blaah9999 yeah, and we're damn lucky covid and its current iterations aren't as lethal as the virus in Outbreak, because with the way people behaved IRL, we'd have been yeeted straight back to the fucking Stone Age, assuming enough people survived that we didn't go extinct.

[@Backinblackbunny009]

Noam Chomsky wouldn't be able to control his eyeballs rolling out of his head if he heard such drivel

[@ArDeeMee]

SARS has kind of been around forever…

[@crypto66]

Those weren't what I was asking about. I know human stupidity and lung-born illneses have long existed, but the rona demonstrated our fragility on a scale incomprehensible beforehand. What I wanna know is if that even somewhat informed writers.

[@jesserothhammer7378]

In the original script of Covenant, it was stated those aren't engineers David killed. Just another race of a seeded planet that happen to look like them

[@Echo_the_half_glitch]

So basically, the engineer who seeded that planet had stronger genetics?

[@fyxation]

For a hot minute after watching this movie the first time, I had almost convinced myself that it wasn't as stupid as Prometheus. But then a minute passed and my brain caught on fire.

[@kellner410]

Do Romulus while you’re at it

[@quayvaughnford9544]

No i aint watched it yet lol

[@27Flopps]

Romulus is decent thoigh lmao

[@Mr__V]

​@@quayvaughnford9544 go watch it. It's decent. It's not connected to these prequels at all. It's more of an aliens 2.5 in continuity

[@dracoindustires3979]

@27Flopps yeah rom was actually decent. Felt like it made way more sense with the bad decisions being made versus the other alien movies 😂

[@BehuraStudio]

That baby needs an anatomical explanation!!

[@Ratat0skr0]

I tend to think of movies like this as a super powerful alien species that can create off shoot universes testing out the most stupid of people.

[@Brandon-dy8us]

Hell yeah he just full on stopped caring about censorship. Youve gained my respect.

[@TonyBMan]

Daniels should've stuck around to make sure that Walter won his mirror match against David. *BAD END*

[@a-10warthog72]

I had a time in life when I was neck deep into the AvP universe. When Covenant first came out I convinced myself that David's xenos are NOT the OG Alien. Hear me out: The engineers managed to acquire the actual xenomorphs' genome, achieving their genetic-absorbing-mutagenic ability and creating the Goo (hence why there was so much alien-like drawings in the Prometheus engineer ship). When David started studying it, he did NOT achieve the creation of the Alien, he inadvertently reverse-engineered what the Engineers had already reverse-engineered, explaining why his Protomorphs don't have the noticeable exoskeleton and are mindlessly violent (xenomorphs won't attack non-biological material like androids or the escavator-claw-thing), and David was unable to make a Queen.

[@KareemHarper]

One quick note - The planet David went full genocide on wasn't populated by engineers in Covenant. They were meant to be another propagated species like homo sapiens that, unlike us, didn't piss off the engineers through use of crucifixion. Not at all in the film and comes from the bluray extended features.

[@gmork1090]

Lol, better than my explanation, but yeah, this. This is why the planet was called "Paradise" in their language. It's not their homeworld, it's their greatest success story. Which is why David originally wanted to go there. Not for answers at all but as a big F U for what the Engineers were going to do to earth due to that whole.. let's murder Jesus fiasco. That and David wanting to be a god too and make his own tailor made 'perfect organisms'.

[@KareemHarper]

@@gmork1090 This element makes me somewhat regret we won't see a final chapter of the David story. I was really hoping to see them coming for David and during that encounter things go awry leading to LV-426. That said, I LOVED Romulus. Fede hit a home run with it.

[@sta3po]

The Candy Mountain reference, I lost it. Bravo sir!

[@ohjeezriles]

FWIW to all the folks who think David being the creator of xenomorphs sucks: In the novelization for Covenant (iirc), it’s confirmed that he’s basically Jurassic Park’ing them - they existed beforehand, engineers kept records of them, David got curious to see if he could recreate them.

[@EliteRanger-t7i]

So the ultimate lifeform somehow went extinct? Oh brother...

[@ohjeezriles]

@@EliteRanger-t7i No, just wasn’t present on the engineer homeworld he & Shaw crash landed on. I guess I should’ve been more specific. I didn’t mean to imply that they’d gone extinct - just that David had some biological material to work with, via the black goo, and decided to Frankenstein together some specimens of this perfect organism based on the information & records left behind by the engineers.

[@EliteRanger-t7i]

@@ohjeezriles oh ok

[@plaguedoctorjamespainshe6009]

Isn't this basically just an retcon after the backlash of giving the xenomorphs an origin ?

[@ohjeezriles]

@@plaguedoctorjamespainshe6009 I guess? But I’d attribute that more to Ridley Scott - or his editor for Prometheus & Covenant, if he didn’t edit the films - not really adequately, cohesively explaining “which came first, the David or the Egg?” Bizarre choices for deleted scenes - and/or scenes that only exist as marketing on KZbin, like the “Last Supper” short that was produced for Covenant. Scenes that add a lot to the story and make things IMO a bit clearer.

[@kageshira]

From the producers of "The most stupid scientists in the milky way" this summer "Eve more stupid that you could ever imagine scientists" "They surprisingly look like guardsman on the Imperium" You owe me a coke, I spat it all over my keyboard

[@murpheyholloran1067]

Just a little addendum regarding the thing about the Yautja's affairs with the Xenomorphs: The AVP and Predator movies are not considered canon to the standalone Alien movies. It is currently understood in Alien canon that David did create the Xenomorphs, though it was never explained how facehugger eggs found their way onto the Engineer ship in the original movie. The newly announced Alien: Earth series may be retconning this though as it is set on earth before the events of even Prometheus, and will obviously be featuring Xenomorphs. The series has been approved by Ridley Scott, so either it will retcon the current truth that David created the aliens, or it is also a separate canon like Predator and AVP.

[@XxZooMxX82]

Need more Roanoke!!! Luv all the content bro keep it up

[@DawnGloves]

The title of this is everything to me. David really didn’t have to work hard at all to take out the entire crew, just worked smart and patiently. Because he knew all he had that do was set loose his creations and the humans would just fall into his casually laid traps. Because they were stupid.

[@barrybend7189]

Hey Roanoke please cover the Borg and what happens when you get Assimilated.

[@silvandarart]

Oooh yes!

[@AkuTenshiiZero]

I am honestly shocked that these people in these movies didn't begin their exploration by tasting the closest rock.

[@AschenDog]

"According to who, brother?!" Himself, because he said so.

[@ukotoa1639]

One of the biggest mistakes in the alien franchise to me was giving the Xenomorphs an origin.

[@Mulcam29]

Not really, its an improvement

[@assassinsa1]

AvP was considered Canon at one point and gave the Xenomorphs an origin. James Cameron didn't like this, so he gave them his own... and it sucks

[@Mulcam29]

@@assassinsa1 That was Ridley Scott who gave us this and it doesn't suck.

[@Saint_Stives]

Coulda stayed space ants and shoulda stayed space ants

[@nikolaadler9201]

They should've went with the esoteric mother in the dark psychic end of civilization stuff

[@crazynice32]

I have Birria tacos and an absurdly large chicken burrito and then Roanoke drops an alien covenant video....... today is a damn good day

[@wesrrowlands8309]

Look at all that shiny new tech decades before everything goes retro in Alien, it has to be one of my biggest pet peeves. Well at least up there with skeletons being mysteriously intact in movies and games and the gasoline lasting forever without going bad. These new films feels like Ridley and company just phoned in sequels.

[@Sparroh]

“And I hate you”. Lol 😂 we are friends. One of the best lines ever.

[@connorwood9211]

Apparently the aliens in this weren't actually Xenomorphs but "Praetomorphs"

[@bungbananaman]

Thought they were called Protomorphs

[@thomasjoychild4962]

Yep, sibling lineage, a bit tougher and bigger, but less intelligent and more aggressive.

[@sandrosliske]

Noted with how the emerge as mini xenos instead of the usual chestburtser.

[@brisecho1488]

I love listening to Roanoke going off on containment procedures. He would have just a wild ride with the Alien books.

[@tylerainsworth4542]

In some of the comics David actually wanted to help humans by killing the engineers, And making a new home for humans, But the chick refused his "alliance/love" basically she was like "No you're crazy" Even though the engineers were gonna kill everyone on earth

[@gmork1090]

Shame the comics are only partly right. He didn't want to help. He wanted revenge on both the engineers and humans and create the classic android ideal of "The perfect organism".

[@RazorTrap]

20:54 real humans would stomp it to oblivion, just on instinct alone.

[@XthahiddenninjaX]

100 percent

[@fabiof.8152]

I agree, the humans who made Alien Covenant seem to be continualy stupid!

[@Redmanticore]

its the "idiot plot" trope. In literary criticism, an idiot plot is one which is "kept in motion solely by virtue of the fact that everybody involved is an idiot", and where the story would quickly end, or possibly not even happen, if this were not the case.

[@atcphs]

"which I imagine brings us into Romulus" it did not lead up to it

[@evanstential]

10:22 you can hear mother reading atmosphere composition in the background. I think the alien stuff is "dead" or near dead "hibernation" when dormant and so is missed by the human scale scanning tech. The planet is likely shielded in some way by engineer scale tech and why it was missed by the human scanners.

[@emberparadox458]

@RoanokeGaming You're gonna wanna do some emergency re-editing, specifically around the 35:00ish or so mark.

[@tkm5575]

I wonder if Roanoke knows about the life cycle of the chad male anglerfish

[@kyze8284]

I very much enjoy when almost everything I call out in these movies is called out by actual scientists like yourself. It makes me feel not dumb or paranoid for calling it out. Or at least less so

[@shroomz2411]

Roanoke’s gonna have a field day with Romulus

[@jamestomlin5525]

Romulus slapped

[@mikaross4671]

Romulus was so awful. I cant wait for him to cover it.

[@thegreenmanofnorwich]

Romulus had a decent atmosphere, but if you think for more than about 8 seconds, the logic and worldbuilding completely fall apart.

[@jamestomlin5525]

@thegreenmanofnorwich that's the point lol, all this happened due to worse case scenarios

[@normalhuman9878]

We have got to get Ridley Scott out of the kitchen, bro cannot cook

[@dracoking9306]

"spawn camp that thing" Roanoke 2024 🤣

[@MerculiarchSyn]

Going out into the galaxy without Galaxy Brains.

[@Travelerr]

The problem is Ridley wrote this thinking he'd made smarter people for this movie since he'd been raked over the coals over the one before it. And... He was wrong and continued to make people dumber than they would have to be. Its almost like he should have had someone around to explain "Hey we wouldn't do it that way, we'd have to do X, Y, Z." "Then how do I kick off the plot?" "...Accidents, unforeseen events, ect. Not sheer stupidity."

[@Nmethyltransferase]

Comrade. My sibling in humanity, there were protocol violations all over the place in Alien. If you recall.

[@tirefish]

He did point those out, but at least someone tried to follow protocol

[@willems7454]

They wasn't scientists they was effectively Merchant Navy

[@depressedTrent]

​@@willems7454those in covenant weren't scientists either, they were colonists, they were only expected to fly that ship to designated planet and start building colony... And given how throughout entire franchise since movie one everyone hates following protocol, including management of Wayland, this is pretty much "industrial standard", lore-wise.

[@ruuzap]

Can’t wait until a xenomorph finally gets a Anglerfish variant.

[@luketheslayer1047]

Lesson in Darwinism, Wear a helmet while interacting with alien lifeforms!

[@kioiswaiting]

2:32 call it Roanoke Moving

[@Sharauni]

Just a factoid about blowing on a horses nostrils, it won't make them dedicated to you for life but it is a way for them to communicate. Gentle blowing is a friendly gesture, harsh blowing is aggressive. Some horses love when their riders gently blow but others may get "offended", in other words they may take it as a challenge or threat, especially if you've eaten meat recently lol.

[@aleksandrbatenko4960]

80 years is plenty of time for a technological leap. We landed on the moon only 66 years after the first flight of the Wright Brothers...

[@thecopperiris]

Everytime you say "captain" I keep seeing the pirate guy saying, "I'm the captain now"

[@snudu]

it seems the alien movies takes places in a universe where humanity never evolved intelligence

[@MorrisseyMuse]

The species that were killed by David's black goo bombing were NOT Engineers. They were another creation of theirs, similar to how humans are. David is a god in his own mind and thus ended their existence.

[@AzieltheLiar]

Gamma Ray Bursts are my irrational fear. Like, if one ever happened to line up with the Sol System, I doubt we'd even have the chance to even realize how screwed we were.

[@dedgamingchannel3748]

Cant wait to go check out roanoke movies. Hopefully there will be games.

[@precisecalibre6986]

Regardless of what Ridley Scott says, it is chronologically impossible for David to have created the xenomorphs. At most, he reverse-enginneered (heh) them based on Engineer research. You will also notice that the humanoids in the flashback lack all of the features of the true engineers. This was most likely a colony planet inhabited by another engineer offshoot species.

[@TheBattousaizer0]

Roanoke on KZbin on Earth: "Humans #1!" Unnamed Engineer on XenoTube on Origae 6: "Engineers #1!"

[@christophermarroquin2496]

I actually like the idea of a xenomorph turning into an egg as a dormant phase. Although that makes a queen usage oddly mute, BUT a queen could be the result of a high enough host population. Overall, the idea of understanding what and where the xenomorphs come from was a bad idea. I would have liked seeing a post Alien 1 movie/crew that attempts to understand what happened to Ripley and discover that aliens are an eldritch horror with no true definitive beginning but horrors left in there wake.

[@Fakku.O]

NEW ROANOKE?!?!?! Ima put away my force multiplier

[@overlord1676]

Since the power output of a gun is set why you guys call it multiplier?

[@tirefish]

​@@overlord1676Because a gun is just a better version of a sling shot

[@ScrubDeep]

​@@overlord1676 Roanoke calls most Melee Force Enhancers, so it seems like the next step of power

[@darkmarvel1953]

Lead accelerater doesn't really have the same ring to it

[@Fakku.O]

@@darkmarvel1953 gonna steal that, thank you very much 😂

[@Regonix]

"There was this man who bullied the entire town" You were aware of that story by Count Dankula, weren't you? Be honest.

[@Dream146]

I have a lot of patience for movies, this was one of the few I just turned off and nothing I've heard about it makes me regret that decision.

[@kat-cg6dy]

i love you because i was literally screaming all of that out loud while watching the movie alone. i wonder how the fuck humanity even got this far in the alien universe if they’re that unaware

[@GenderFluidDragonKing]

What irritates me most about the prequels (I haven't seen Romulus I heard that's pretty good) is that their creation is really overly complicated and to me it was always a lot scarier the idea that they just naturally evolved, because that means that we could stumble onto any planet and have some fucking insane creature like them. All the weird adaptations like acid blood I just kind of assumed that it was original to them on their home planet or they just took that from other animals around them. If not that it was an adaptation to stop other animals from attacking them. Also would dissolve almost any microorganisms and parasites that get in their bodies. Their blood could be so acidic cause their in an evolutionary arms race with Acidophiles.

[@Phoenixguyver]

I like to think they did naturally evolve but we're being experimented on.

[@GenderFluidDragonKing]

​@@Phoenixguyver That would also make sense, like if the engineers experimented on proto xenomorphs with the goo making the traditional Xenomorph. Basically they're reproductive method is very realistic it was based off of parasitoid wasps honestly you can keep them basically the same just that the goo allowed them to take genes from other animals.

[@GenderFluidDragonKing]

@@Phoenixguyver Like the proto xenomorphs could all the same behaviors and reproduction method, just the black goo allowed them to steal the genes from the host they infect, cuz they basically reproduce like parasitoid wasps.

[@BehuraStudio]

The Juggernaut had a bunch of Xeno/Deacon designs on the ship So a kind of proto xenos have existed in ancient times but David just made the current xenos I think

[@GenderFluidDragonKing]

@@BehuraStudio Never noticed that ♥

[@beasthayabusa1999]

Whole ton of comics about how the black goo can be used to make aliens. They describe xenos feeding it to people and making them “kith” then the baby becomes a true face hugger which makes a queen which makes more face huggers then more xenos. The colony that was doing this was trying to make another queen as theirs had died if memory serves.

[@DominusNox106]

Oh yeah, the series where humanity evolved under the dumbest leadership ever imagined. Turning Xenos super predators into a weopen, that no one has any clue how to control or stop. Pilots dont do maintenance on their chosen vehicles, that is done by TRAINED ENGINEERS or specialized personnel, also, idiotic to send your 1 pilot out to get mangled while fixing a system they know nothing about (solar sail). Humanity also seems ridiculously under prepared for a repopulation attempt. As a former nurse, seeing these characters just walk around on wierd planets WITHOUT any PPE has always driven me nuts.

[@izzyxblades]

I'm a huge fan of the franchise and have watched so many videos about the series. Roanoke, you are the first person I've come across to give a good explanation/hypothesis on why the neomorphs came out different than xenomorphs. Your explanation of the life cycle is the best I've heard, probably because you're a biologist who also loves talking about the biology of creatures in games and movies. Thank you so much for being the awesome KZbinr that you are

[@nashonabo821]

I just love how no matter what planet it is.. these scientists get there and take off their helmets not knowing what micro organisms exist.. They're like yup we scanned this planet from 1 trillion miles away, atmosphere looks good..

[@depressedTrent]

They weren't scientists, they were just regular flight crew, similar to the one from original movie... And we all remember Lambert the screamer and Dallas the screw safety protocols...

[@nashonabo821]

@@depressedTrent ☝️🤓