ROCD and the importance of not chasing feelings

Why chasing feelings in ROCD is counterproductive and what keeps the cycle going.

[@husainsattar4671]

You should make a summary at the end of your videos on your main points. Like the fact that ocd will take whatever you want to feel and give you the opposite. Or it will make you feel like you said if you want to move forward that you want the past more. How bizarre is that. Didn’t know it could do that. Are there any videos where you explain things like this like what it’s possible for ocd to do? I think that would be a helpful video. Great video

[@TiernanKid1576]

Thanks for sharing man, Great video

[@brilliantwriter4856]

I’m completely numb after ocd recovery I’ve exhausted every emotion I had and now it’s making me question the love for my partner and I chase love feelings that used to be there before ocd but now I can’t feel anything. I wonder if it’s a new theme for rocd. Now when he kisses me the thought is I don’t feel any sensation or emotion so I feel like I don’t love him anymore. It’s weird

[@vidnir5259]

Sounds to me like a backdoor spike, you feel better because your constant OCD struggle is gone in the recovery, so you think you re over OCD, but you still do covert compulsions of testing what you feel for your partner instead of being unconcerned and waiting it out thinking "ah well, no feeling today, whatever, maybe tomorrow" Theres another video on this channel about numbness

[@Nicole-yx8ms]

@@allli3_756 thank you for sharing your experience.. beautiful, and makes a lot of sense. Your acceptance is very inspiring. Have your feelings returned with no longer needing or searching for them?

[@Nicole-yx8ms]

@@allli3_756 that's beautiful and really makes sense! I'm so proud of you for doing your work. I'm not in a course, thank you for this recommendations! Did you ever experience feeling really negative emotions about and feel repulsed by your partner?

[@Nicole-yx8ms]

@UCAr5rB_zYCFOz3hM0wf-PPw you are so inspiring with the work you've done and continue to do! And thank you SO much for being open to sharing about your experiences, it means the world to me!🙏 I presume that also means you've lost all attraction and desire for your partner before? Has that state ever lasted a long period of time? Also, in regards to healing and accepting things, did you basically feel these feelings and sensations - like apathy, numbness, repulsion, disconnect, not caring - and just learned to accept them and be totally okay if they WERE true, until they shifted and became less of your experience?

[@laurabassa6980]

How are You now friend????

[@josepdarnes]

Amazing video

[@ciaraskeleton]

OCD sneaks in before youve even realised, and suddenly your world is so small, so terrifying that you are afraid to move incase you mess everything up. Even knowing that ocd is not real life, doesnt help. I feel sick, drained, done in. It tells me i shouldnt be here because i do everything wrong no matter how hard i try. I know its not true, but it feels true.

[@lukenystrompratt1]

Can you address ROCD outside of a committed romantic relationship? People that struggle with commitment? Also, when to leave a relationship vs. OCD influence?

[@OCDRecovery]

Luke Pratt if you check the ROCD playlist on this channel there are videos on this topic.

[@Ali-kf5bd]

I know OCD can make you feel numb and disconnected but if you're trying NOT to feel something specific (anger, arrogance, judgement ect.) can ocd create those false feelings?

[@katherinnicole6483]

sure

[@annecampbell2891]

Can you do a video on things that anxiety causes which are physical eg jerks in your body and the tension it causes.

[@OCDRecovery]

Will get it covered 💪🏻

[@Fullrusher]

Is there medicine for this , I've had hocd and now rocd and I'm in a relationship I've waited 7 years for and she's asking but I can't kick these recent thoughts of breaking up with her or questioning if I loved her or if I really will or will stay ... This is mad cause just weeks ago I was fine enjoying this relationship and evidence shows this girl I'm with had her ex leave her abruptly as well ... And then he went mad kinda so most likely he had rocd but didn't know , I wanna stay with this woman but these thoughts aren't making it way or fun anymore ... And I can't get therapy cause their ramb packed ATM due to the past pandemic, what should I do ?

[@OCDRecovery]

Firstly don’t try and get it all worked out! It’s trying to turn up the heat as knows what you value. We have a webinar coming up on this specifically “ROCD Webinar” to book 📧 [e-mail]

[@AFCOMMENT]

If someone has ROCD but also has an unhealthy relationship, then how to approach it? You give a lot of examples in your videos about people who think irrationally about their partners minor flaws. What about major flaws-like verbal abuse or threats? How does someone who has ROCD deal with a relationship that has these kinds of challenges? Thanks Rob for all of your videos, they really help.

[@Hannahbonjana]

So with rocd when it comes to verbal abuse or threats, it’s important to still learn that life still wouldn’t be awful whether you left or stayed. It’s not until you accept that if you stayed and see that it’s not awful that you will get some clarity on what’s best for you. Unless your life is at risk then you can learn that actually there is no rule to say you have to leave.

[@vidnir5259]

Ok in my opinion, there are some things a healthy relationship shouldn t have, verbal abuse can depend in its intensity and is therefore a grey zone, but proper threats or physical violence are no-go areas. If that is the case, then yes, maybe you got ROCD on top of that, but get outta there, especially if there is escalating behaviors (e.g. more frequent or extreme insults or threats). You can work on ROCD alone or with another partner who is not a dick, no need to subject yourself to someone who doesn't respect you for the sake of ERP.

[@lsgirl8814]

Can rocd target any relationship? Like mother and child?

[@allthelittleworms]

yes, it can. it can target any relationship that is important to you

[@pompomkitty306]

OCD is a monster.. 😥😥😥

[@ReshiramMage1992]

Is that why my feelings feel gone!? 😭

[@sanathsaleelan9247]

I'm feeling the same no feelings 😕

[@bachnroll9657]

How are guys doing now

[@ReshiramMage1992]

@@bachnroll9657 not so good.. I constantly think of breaking up everyday… that I believe I am only with him bc I am use to being with him. Theses feelings or whatever I get convinced me I wanna break up… I am so mentally worn out… I don’t know what to do anymore.. I don’t wanna leave..

[@ReshiramMage1992]

@@bachnroll9657 it’s like my mind is made up… 😰

[@bachnroll9657]

@@ReshiramMage1992 i get you... But please, do not lose hope. Everything will be okay. Seriously. When the thoughts come, i think we should accept the uncertainity and say "so what" It sounds not so easy i know. But we have to try that. And I'm sure, deep down in our hearts there is something that keep us here. That "something" is love. You love your partner. I'm sure about that. So we have to keep going!!!!

[@philipbowe6252]

U got a program?

[@OCDRecovery]

Please check out our website! 😊

[@aguy559]

It seems like as soon as things between us feel great, and I get excited about that fact, I suddenly feel nothing and become convinced that we need to break up. Anyone else?