pulling myself out of a depressive episode

Reach out if you need help:
Youth Crisis Hotline:
1-800-448-4663 (tel:[phone])
Child Help Hotline:
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
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National Hopeline Network:
1-800-442-4673
Crisis Text Line:
text “HOME” to 741741
What happens in your brain during depression:
www.psychology...
hey loves,
first i'd like to thank you all for watching this video. i have recorded many other depressive episodes wanting to connect and reach out but ended up deleting all the footage every time. there wasn't much to show anyways cuz i literally just recorded me laying in bed LOL but this time was different, i fully opened up to the camera about my disorder, and actually came to terms with it, fully. uploading this was not an easy step for me to take, i've actually sat at my computer for hours debating whether or not i really wanted to share this, but i do.
there are countless other stories and experiences out on the internet that offer way better advice and are arguably more interesting. it may seem like i'm beating a dead horse, but in my own little world, in my own community, i wanted to provide my personal experience in hopes someone will confide in it.
even if no one has expressed it to you yet, it's important to remember that your feelings are valid, you are of value, you are not insane, you are just going through a difficult situation, and you will be even stronger when it is over. as long as you keep fighting, you will beat your depression.
thank you for being here :)
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✰Get to know me✰
What's your favorite color? deep red like blood but I don't like blood
What's your age? lucky number 22
How tall are you? not tall enough (5'3)
What's your ethnicity? chopsticks
What's your favorite food? tacos, don't play.
What camera(s) do you use? Sony ZV1 (videos), canon g7x mark ii (pictures), GoPro Hero 11 (combat social anxiety), & SonyHDR-CX405 (aesthetics)
What editing software do you use? final cut pro X
Where can I find all the equipment you use?
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Does she respond? she definitely tries :)

[@lizzyisgreat]

i really needed this, sometimes it doesn’t feel like recovery but like relapse :/

[@RebeccaKo]

I totally feel you. Remember healing isn’t linear and there will always be ups and downs! Be patient with yourself and don’t give up ❤️

[@bridgettebosch1985]

I'm crying right now as I watch this, I've been badly depressed for almost my whole life but I've been doing research on it and this video just gave me even more motivation to get better for myself so thank you so much❤

[@RebeccaKo]

I’m so glad this video helped!! Yes research is so very important to understand the situation and to better yourself! Best of luck on your journey, love. ❤️

[@irisroe]

you don't know me but im grateful and proud of you for posting this

[@RebeccaKo]

Thank you so so much 🥹 this really means a lot to me!!

[@bibicos3140]

girl i literally cant get out of this rut UGH, good for u tho bb

[@RebeccaKo]

Sending you sm love 🫶 you got itttt

[@doublea6252]

This was beautiful. I am so sorry for all that you are goimg through. So glad that you are learning and growing! You are amazing!

[@RebeccaKo]

Thank you love!

[@atopansa8696]

I love your video so much Rebecca❤ you are so strong and so inspiration. Don't stress🫂 this is what you're going through not who you are. And you're doing awesome

[@RebeccaKo]

Thank you so much 🥹❤️

[@berealwrizzle]

Thanks for sharing your experience

[@RebeccaKo]

Thank you for watching, love u!🥹❤️

[@berealwrizzle]

Was so powerful to see you validate yourself, empowering others including myself to seek help & not feel ashamed about our struggles. WE ALL LOVE YOU TOO ❤ thank you for creating this as a message to everyone to see themselves 💖🤗

[@Zoey2579]

Honestly needed this episode I feel so much better ❤

[@RebeccaKo]

I’m SO glad ❤️

[@Mina_Lim_Vlogs]

Hiii I just started watching your videos and U R SO FUNNY!!! I really want to go thrifting nowww

[@RebeccaKo]

AHA ILYYY GO THRIFTING GIRLY

[@laurwata]

You're brave and strong for sharing your journey. Thank you! BTW, Pop Tart crust lover here, too! Not weird at all! LOL Sending you love and hugs!

[@thaingocman]

Love this change in editing style it’s beautiful ❤

[@RebeccaKo]

Thank boo, I literally can’t choose one editing style so imma do them all LOL

[@busy6977]

thank u, this helped me open up to my friends about my feelings and finally helped me cry which i needed 💕

[@RebeccaKo]

Of course!! I’m so glad to have helped❤️

[@vanshikabali8830]

Posting this video and being so open and vulnerable about your mental health with us.. Makes me feel special. I felt so relatable, and just so you know Rebecca you're doing really good. Thank you for posting this video. ❤

[@RebeccaKo]

Omg thank you so much for your kind words 🥹❤️ It means the world!!

[@noemimartinez1116]

Sending you love and abundance 💜

[@RebeccaKo]

Thank u loveee 🫶

[@deemayhew4211]

Glad you’re seeing a therapist- yay!! It’s okay to fall back into depression, you’re not a failure.

[@jordana425]

Haven’t watched one of your videos in a while. Needed this today. Keep doing what you’re doing Rebecca ❤Loved this.

[@MarianaFerreira-z2t]

its been 8 years for me...this past year was the best and the worst at the beginning the best I ever felt traveling enjoying life then a couple of stress and traumatic events now back at major depression.I used to be strong and deal with it because it was my "normal" but after the light I reached this year I can't believe Im in this darkness again.I also deny it and others gaslight it too

[@tepach0495]

Th very much for videos like this!💗

[@RebeccaKo]

Thank you for supporting me🥹🫶

[@alisas6993]

I’m so proud of you! I lowkey started crying…

[@RebeccaKo]

Thank you! I hope you’re okay🥹❤️❤️

[@terena_world]

this was such an illuminating video to watch- to see you go thru the ups & downs and gradually being more open and honest with us.. your vulnerability is admirable and excited to see more content like this in the future

[@RebeccaKo]

Awee thank you so much!! It was one of my favorite videos to film 😊 I’m glad you enjoyed it🫶

[@M1IFHVNT3R]

hey! i found this during a depression episode and at a time where i could use this as part of a project / assignment in school! i wanted to formally ask your permission before i went forward. technically, i am using this video as a source as to what it's like to live with depression / mental illness to back up the themes of the two things i'm comparing (hi ren by ren + "i made a new friend" by nicole kyler). seeing someone deal with the things that so many of us do and to show that there is always a way up is so inspiring for myself and so many others

[@RebeccaKo]

Hey! You absolutely could. Thank you for sharing both the song and article! I just checked them both out and wow are they so relatable. Best of luck on your project!! You got it👍

[@Maureen-MO]

After so many episodes, I learned to let it be. Your body is literally telling you and going through what it needs. It’s not wrong. Those episodes are not a downfall but your mind and body reacting accordingly to something. As a perfectionist, it’s taken me long enough to STOP. Literally fall and let me. Let me be until I understand what’s going on. Focus on what I can do only. Sometimes it’s nothing. I can’t do anything. So I do nothing. Unfortunately that’s not feasible for everyone therefore your mental health can get worse. But really be your friend and hold your hand. If you are going up and down. Go ahead.

[@Maureen-MO]

I’ve been in weekly therapy for three yrs straight btw and take antidepressants medications which help me. However though, since I’m going through trauma therapy, I have to go through some tough downs as I head out of trauma.

[@soundslikeviv]

my fav vlogger

[@RebeccaKo]

I feel honored 🫡

[@dankyun9199]

hiii i missed you sm 😢

[@RebeccaKo]

Hiii! I’m so sorry for being inconsistent 😭😭

[@kashhaliwell]

been struggling with this for the past few months. i dont really have resources to get a therapist but i'm trying my hardest to pull myself out

[@kashhaliwell]

thank you for posting this so much tho ♡

[@RebeccaKo]

I’m so sorry to hear 🥺 don’t give up! Educate yourself on the matter, that way you’ll have a better understanding of what’s happening to you❤️ Best of luck to you on your journey, love.

[@lvndrnymph]

I also only really like the crust of poptarts🤭

[@RebeccaKo]

HA we would be besties

[@lvndrnymph]

@@RebeccaKo we can be!😭🤍

[@React2022-u7l]

Do u take meds ?

[@alessialaw9843]

yay! I'm the first xx

[@RebeccaKo]

🥰🥇

[@aurorasuzanne]

Thank you for being vulnerable! So happy you were able to break the stigma in your mind put their by other people. Ive definitely had to unlearn behaviors and stigmas and it was super comforting to know I'm not alone!

[@RebeccaKo]

I was really shocked it took me this long to realize and unlearn the stigma put in my mind by others. Despite knowing that their thinking was misguided, I found myself entertaining the same thoughts. You’re definitely not alone!! I’m glad I’m reaching those who are going/went through something similar :)

[@maitripatel2628]

I can relate to her so much that it felt so good watching her be better gradually. Felt so personal 🫂

[@RebeccaKo]

That was the goal 🥹❤️

[@Muu_ffin]

I think with mental health for older generations it's either you're sane or insane there is no in between🤦🏻‍♀️

[@RebeccaKo]

They’ll come around hopefully 😭😭

[@swaralikulkarni8127]

I'm going through the same phase from past 3 months ....and this vedio helped me to understand myself and what im feeling rn ...so thankyou so much!! YOU'RE SO BRAVE ❤

[@RebeccaKo]

I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m glad that I could help in some way! Thanks for watching and you got this! 🫶

[@haru_art600]

Lyyysm Rebecca! Always get so so excited when you post, literally make my dayyyy. Really appreciated this video and we're all so proud of you! x

[@RebeccaKo]

Thank you so much!!! ❤️❤️

[@sarsurab2778]

This is why I love her!!!❤❤

[@RebeccaKo]

Love you!!! 🫶🫶