Rowan Atkinson - The School Master

Very funny bit with Rowan Atkinson as an acerbic schoolmaster taking attendance at a British school for boys.

[@Treblaine]

You know the phrase "he's so good he could read from the phonebook and make it entertaining". Atkinson's such a legend he really can do that.

[@richardsparks9894]

Yes. This sketch IS the phone book. Mind you, it's the best bits of the phone book...

[@electrictroy2010]

THE DIRTY VERSION IS FAR FUNNIER. This clean version is barely humorous .

[@GPC-tu7ti]

"You're a moron, Undermanager, what are you? A carbuncle on the backside of humanity." Almost 18 years as a public high school teacher, and since discovering this I've watched it at least once a year. Brilliant!

[@electrictroy2010]

THE DIRTY VERSION IS FAR FUNNIER. This clean version is barely humorous .

[@rafaelcarldavidyh8hvdhhuhj118]

Dhvmvkvjbnvnnkln

[@taxus750]

The timing during this sketch by Rowan Atkinson is sublime. And he does it live.

[@nimishagupta8548]

god the way he pronounces every single word . Such a talent

[@Jojoseahorse]

It's the way he never actually says anything dirty, but always sounds as if he is :)

[@yoya4766]

He has a speech impediment, he corrects with precise pronunciation.

[@lisarubin2835]

He has a stammer, difficulty with the letter B. That is why he over-articulates certain words.

[@ennbee2051]

Ya, 'Babcock' is genius. You'll only get this if you're from the north, like.

[@Shadyladybird]

"Nibble! NIBBLE!!! LEAVE ORIFICE ALONE!" Pure deadpan brilliance :D

[@leow3696]

The way he rolls the 'r' in orifice just makes it.

[@joejs4613]

@@leow3696 LEAVE ORRRRIFICE ALONE

[@1Worluck]

Heckler: "HERE!" *Rowan stares him down* R.A.: "I have a detention book..." *Heckler handled like a boss!* :D

[@Zerobob26]

He handled it well, but that idiot heckler undermined and nearly ruined the whole sketch. I bet Rowan Atkinson was secretly extremely angry.

[@ArchEnemyNemesis1]

@@Zerobob26 You overvalue him. That heckler never posed a threat to a pro like Atkinson in the first place. If anything unbeknownst to him, he made it funnier. That line was perfection.

[@boiledegggaming8424]

I thought that was part of it

[@nezapamatovatelne]

How he can control his face in spite of everyone else is laughing... He is marvellous.

[@electrictroy2010]

THE DIRTY VERSION IS FAR FUNNIER. This clean version is barely humorous .

[@Reneebenson]

I would have a hard time

[@Reneebenson]

I love this one and the dirty version

[@goigus]

He almost cracked at 4:10

[@rafaelcarldavidyh8hvdhhuhj118]

Pfuyifuturigiyigigituuiouououoyoo

[@erickford8081]

" Discuss the contention that Cleopatra had the body of a roll-top desk and the mind of a duck. Oxford and Cambridge board 'O Level' paper" .... priceless

[@Micho55]

is it a specific parody of academia or just meant to sound completely ridiculous?

[@ShotTower1]

There are not many comedians who could make this funny. One of my favorite solo comedy performances.

[@hell5309]

"Nibble? NIBBLE! Leave Orifice alone!" Gad, he's good.

[@cathyc9766]

I have been aspiring to this level of contempt for 30 years!

[@RedSkyHorizon]

I think this was Rowan's first performance before he was famous but grabbed the attention of Richard Curtis who was in the audience. Stephen Fry was also in the audience and was laughing so hard he let out some wee.

[@LukaszVT40k]

+Tom Mulligan I'm pretty sure Curtis met Atkinson at a comedy sketch club at Cambridge University.

[@robertdawsonscott9068]

+LukaszVT Oxford, not Cambridge, late 1970s. Rowan was doing some kind of Masters in in engineering. Curtis was doing Eng Lit, I think.

[@richardsparks9894]

I wrote this sketch one morning in the summer of 1978 for Rowan's first London revue, "Rowan Atkinson and Friends", at the Hampstead Theatre (Director: Michael Rudman. Cast: Rowan, Peter Wilson, Elspeth Walker). I gave it to Rowan at rehearsal an hour or two later. Richard Curtis was another writer on the show. John Cleese saw it, and invited Rowan to do this sketch in "The Secret Policeman's Ball" later that year. I sadly misjudged the director of that film, Roger Graef, because no writers got named credit on the film. I later learned that all the Powers That Be wanted to cut Rowan from the film because he was a complete unknown, and the show was over-long and packed with big name stars. But Graef fought tooth and nail to keep him in it, for which I am eternally grateful. Rowan did, indeed, steal the show. This sketch launched Rowan's career, and became his party piece -- the encore number at the end of his stage shows. It was always a joy to see him perform it. Later, Richard Curtis and Rowan wrote the "rude" version, and very generously shared the royalties with me (copyright resides with the original writer, not the performer). They indeed met at Oxford -- Rowan was a graduate student, Richard an undergraduate. I had graduated from Oxford a year or two before they went there . We all met in Edinburgh in the summer of 1976, when they were in the Oxford Revue with (from memory, but I wouldn't swear to it) Angus Deayton and Helen Atkinson-Wood among others. Rowan was, obviously, a prodigious talent even as a student. He could, as can be seen here, make even the telephone directory funny.

[@erickford8081]

I used to have the LP 'Secret Policeman's Ball'... this was all before 'Not the Nine O'Clock News' I presume.

[@pstrzel]

@Richard Sparks - Well then, my hat off to you sir. You've made the world a happier place. I come back to this every once in a while and it never fails to lift up the spirits. Cheers!

[@smorgi]

Rowan Atkinson is a class act-- hardly anyone else could have made this as good

[@Jojoseahorse]

I know, it's so genius that without actually saying anything dirty he makes it sound totally obscene!

[@richardsparks9894]

As the writer of this sketch I completely agree with you.

[@TheFleidermaus]

The late Peter Cook the only one.

[@electrictroy2010]

THE DIRTY VERSION IS FAR FUNNIER. This clean version is barely humorous .

[@Eldoctordub1]

Excellent! What makes this even funnier for me is that he looks and sounds like my 1st form master at grammar school; especially the way he looks down his nose at the class and talks in that sneering tone. Ah such fond memories...

[@boyturok]

This is where Alan Rickman molded his character "Severus Snape" from.. pretty freaking awesome..

[@anthonylees9029]

Absolutely hilarious ! Seems to have captured the spirit of independent schools of a bygone era ! Roman Atkinson , a comedy genius ! Deadpan delivery is unsurpassed!

[@Broadercasting]

I had similar teachers at my very ordinary secondary modern, but this was the late 60's and early 70's. Fortunately this was mixed with an influx with young liberal types from 'Breeze Block' universities or polytechnics.

[@Euroviking86]

I love how the humour in this skit borders on being malicious, yet always so subtle about it, making it even more hilarious. Those lions about Cleopatra and Enobarbus (in fact a character in Anthony & Cleopatra) are gems!

[@electrictroy2010]

THE DIRTY VERSION IS FAR FUNNIER. This clean version is barely humorous .

[@mikelheron20]

The English school system (or at least that in "privileged" schools) produces a strange kind of sadistic/sarcastic schoolmaster who delights in public humiliation and ridicule of the pupils. Apart from being funny, Rowan's portrayal is very accurate. I personally experienced teachers like this. Very hard to convey to anyone who hasn't been through the system. The names are just for comic effect.

[@patrickherley7508]

"The names are just for comic effect." Ya think??

[@youtubewasoncebetter]

Public ridicule?

[@METALFREAK03]

@@youtubewasoncebetter publicly belittling the pupil in front of the class.

[@KabirChattopadhyay1991]

The sadism of public humiliation as a means of school "discipline" is still very much alive in the old British colonies. I went to Catholic missionary school in my hometown, Calcutta. Pretty much the same. 😶

[@monsieurouxx]

This is the direct reflection of the British "castes" system : if you're in upper society, you must be part of the gang. And to be part of the gang you must understand domination. It must be taught to you at a very young age. You must reproduce the system when you grow up. Empathy is considered weakness. All that matters is your class, your family, your "dynasty". Do not question. Keep the top of the social pyramid at the top, even if it costs you your personal happiness.

[@misspresident95]

'I have a detention book..' best way to handle a heckle EVER!

[@shaq565]

Best Bit: "NNNIIIIBBBBBLLLLLLEEEEEEE!!! Leave "O-R-I-F-I-C-E" Alone!!!"

[@Euroviking86]

I had a history teacher like that in high school. He was not hesitant to use profanities when describing historical figures. Though he only hated the students who didn't come to every lesson. In fact, towards the end of the term, he told some late-arrivers "you might as well not bother showing up anymore, I'm flunking you." He was hysterical. History class was really fun there.

[@ItsTbig]

13 year-old comment, damn. 👀

[@electrictroy2010]

THE DIRTY VERSION IS FAR FUNNIER. This clean version is barely humorous .

[@AtlasBlizzard]

"Has the matron seen those boils?" Holy shit, that delivery.

[@99bits46]

Rowan smiles there

[@deanpeng7854]

SethBlizzard could you tell me what did he say right before that?

[@AtlasBlizzard]

​​@@deanpeng7854"Don't sulk, boy, for God's sake."

[@cacab4]

I love the smirk when he asks about Plectrum's boils

[@Dori1951]

Or he is actually suppressing a laugh...

[@MarxistKnight]

"The answer - yes." "Most of you didn't write nearly enough..."

[@jackchrisevans]

"haemoglobin?" LOL! i cracked up when he said that! rowan atkinson's my favorite comedian.

[@martinwennstrom6553]

The best performance ever when it comes to comedy in my opinion. Delivers like a genius and has since continued to do so. Hats off, Mr Atkinson!

[@13191215]

I so love the dude who shouts "HERE!" after Elsworth Beast Major. xD

[@hugohackenbush1554]

I was there on the first night. Tickets in the stalls only £5- each! I bought 4. Took my brother, he was 14 back then (myself 19) and my girlfriend. I sold the spare at face value to a long haired biker who had found out Pete Townshend was appearing. Rowan Atkinson stole the whole show. He did the miming on the piano bit (before this classic routine) in the first half of the event. Amazing memories. Hard to imagine that was 44 years ago.

[@Jettox]

For some reason "Sediment" gets me each and every time. Good stuff

[@MIGOMIKEgames]

He is a genius.... how can he memorize those long scripts?...... not just he delivered it well and give it the right expressions.,,, he also really had a natural gift in making people laugh............

[@atomickarma]

Isn't this just totally wonderful? Love every second of it. A literal master of comedy.

[@robman80808]

Atkinson at his absolute funniest. The delivery, timing, everything - perfection. I loved him in Blackadder 2 as he had a similar dark edge and dry wit. Not keen on the later "rude" version - it tries too hard and is too obvious (presumably a different writer?) and Rowan himself doesn't seem overly enthusiastic about it.

[@richardsparks9894]

Different writer(s) indeed. I was not involved in the sequel.

[@AsadAli-jc5tg]

Blackadder II was the worst. Fourth the best followed by third and then First.

[@rheinhartsilvento2576]

@@AsadAli-jc5tg Disagree. For me, it's Blackadder II, then IV, then III. The first seems the most 'caricatural' of all...

[@AsadAli-jc5tg]

@Reinhart....you guys are too unjust with Blackadder I. There is much good in it, very intellectual too. I must say give it another go.

[@pauldelaney5990]

At some point Ben Elton was on the writing team.

[@performer92]

i like how he added in the 'i have a detension book' when that audience member said 'HERE' or whatever he said. LEAVE ORIFICE ALONEEE and i like the 'nancy boy potter' one too

[@dragonborn4045]

"A carbuncle on the backside of humanity." Holy shit, what a burn.

[@davidtokar4065]

Hahhahahaha....

[@reaganoc]

Carbon coal

[@timcarpenter2441]

I find this version an order of magnitude superior to the later version with obviously rude names. "Has Matron seen those boils?..."

[@stewartchristie3408]

I remember watching this with my sister in our grandparents house and we were pissing ourselves. My grandparents were looking at each other in disbelief. I guess it's a generation thing. Comedy genius from Rowan! Great memories 😂

[@ZakRas]

4:07 He's trying SO hard to hold back the laughter.

[@WhipRunner]

I rather believe thats a satisfying smirk that the class master would have after a put down like that, hence, I believe, its part of character.

[@FinlayLavery303]

Rowan Atkinson doesn't laugh.

[@deanpeng7854]

WhipRunner me too

[@albertrogers8537]

No kidding, when I was a Grammar School teacher of Advanced Mathematics, the Advanced level of the Northern Ireland Senior Certificate of Education contained a question that quoted Longfellow on the fleetness of Hiawatha's foot, and the strength of his arm, and required the candidate, with certain simplifying assumptions, to show how far and how fast Hiawatha could run to satisfy the claims made. It wasn't all that difficult, but quite hilarious.

[@StarUnreachable]

"YES isn't. life. _tragic."_

[@Vanastar]

Don't sulk boy, for heaven's sake. Has matron seen those boils?

[@Micho55]

what does that even mean though?

[@StarUnreachable]

@@Micho55 Do you... not know how sarcasm works?

[@Micho55]

@@StarUnreachable I do, just not familiar with the phrase.

[@ndlouth2853]

Just the choice of odd names, delivered utterly deadpan makes this a moment of comic genius

[@Kasey113]

The best part of this whole number really is the masterful delivery. Anyone can stand on a stage and list off names, and anyone can be funny with a great script. To be able to be this hilarious with just a list of names (such as they are), takes some genuine talent, but also and more importantly, it takes skill and lots of practice.

[@jaspermelchior]

Holy crap just the way he makes his face look when he says some of the names and the he says it is just amazing, truly a comedic geniuses. xD

[@Wayne74566]

But he is so much like a real Grammar School teacher of the 1970's. I was there!!

[@sheilas1283]

Me too!

[@francisu.5005]

True. I was sent to a Catholic boarding school, it was so strict and often humiliating that I hated every minute of it 😂

[@KerryPaulazzo]

Rowan's the only comedian who can make you laugh by doing nothing at all

[@likelocalmusic]

Can't help but think he is the most gifted comic ever to come out of England

[@toussaintgervais8285]

Him and Monty Python...have you seen the interview sketch he did with John Chapman? Priceless!

[@PaulZink]

He's right up there with Cook and Moore.

[@margueritejohnson6407]

I prefer him in spoken humour. I never took to Mr Bean, I felt it was a waste of his enormous talent with words.

[@tabithadorcas7763]

Oh, hilarious! I do so appreciate British humor and wit!

[@tasercs]

"Use ink only - via a nib if possible"

[@simonpayn]

Some people don't understand that this man is famous here in the UK because of his expressions and the way he says particular words. The Blackadder series is an example

[@deglar1]

Glad to see this sketch is getting a new audience. One of my all time favourites...

[@wenglishsal]

Pure genius... I laughed so much I spat my coffee all over my keyboard...What an expressive face Rowan has...Fantastic ... :0)x

[@ShotTower1]

There are few comedians who could make this as funny as Rowan. The way he pronounces words is just glorious.

[@stevew1904]

Rowan's portrayal of the old-fashioned English schoolteacher is uncanny. Unfortunately, I have many memories of teachers exactly like this, whose sole purpose in life seemed to be to destroy the pupils they were responsible for educating. And they succeeded with remarkable regularity. Conversely, in modern schools it seems that the sole purpose of pupils is to destroy the teachers responsible for educating them. Also achieved with remarkable regularity. I have no comment on which state of affairs is worse.

[@FlyingMonkies325]

Oh man... i wish i had a teacher like that it would of made my day... hahaha

[@99bits46]

How does that man keep a straight face?

[@celestemassarenti469]

Salman Memehood It's what I was wondering too

[@MeowChumpswinnsie]

maybe he played his role too much that he could handle it

[@Marks_Vlogs]

he the one who made it.

[@yoya4766]

His writer says that RA doesn't find anything funny. So that's why. He sees himself as a comedy actor so just executes the lines in a very precise way.

[@vincentstephan6558]

Work, work, work

[@myuphrid]

It's all about the constrast between the scholarly seriousness of Atkinson's demeanour and the absurdity of the dialogue he's speaking, coupled with the exxagerated way he recites parts of it. Hopefully I've not ruined the joke by explaining it

[@froll1999]

he nearly loses it at 4:10, but the way he can do the routine so totally deadpan is amazing

[@MidnightDesperado]

He's a teacher calling attendence, and the students have weird ass names, I lost it at "Ellsworth-Beast Major". It takes a master to pull something like this off in comedy XD

[@shri03992]

he shows reality in such a hilarious way!

[@mattevans7884]

Just like so many of the masters at my school......brilliant!

[@bastlake]

"Soda? What's wrong with Soda? It's a great name, it's bubbly!" - George Costanza

[@foxdmulder]

A master at work, one of the greatest!

[@rowanatkinson]

We've just posted the funniest official Rowan Atkinson content on our brand new OFFICIAL channel, thumbs up this comment and click on our name! Whether mesmerising us with the visual mastery of Mr. Bean, beguiling us with the Edmund Blackadder, or entertaining us as hapless British Secret Agent Johnny English, you surely won't have escaped the genius that is Rowan Atkinson. With 4 funny videos to get your started we will be posting many, many more, so don't forget to subscribe!

[@richardsparks9894]

Thanks Rowan. Love you.

[@flatsurfaces1913]

Nice

[@madbint]

God, the talent this man possesses- phenomenal. Just on six minutes of pure brilliance.

[@paulfitz5465]

Superb!and so many memories of it alas!

[@staffsyeoman]

"Yes, isn't life tragic, Plectrum... Do you have a solicitor, Plectrum...? You're lying, Plectrum...see me afterwards to be tweaked anyway.." Oh my god, I LIVED this....

[@sagemcelister1651]

Whats a solicitor?

[@margueritejohnson6407]

Sage Mcelister A lawyer. One that works from an office but does not appear in court. The solicitor briefs a barrister who then presents the case in court. I believe the system has changed somewhat, but I’m a bit vague about the changes.

[@davidtokar4065]

I too have been been unjustly 'tweaked,' but I never got paddled in front of the class like one of my classmades did on a regular basis. True, he had a behavioral problem, but he was also mentally disabled. Today, he would have been placed and taught in a way based on the desire to help rather than punish.

[@dldbug]

"Isn't life tragic" - RA is right on target with that line. I seem to remember hearing it a lot from a fascist teacher long ago.

[@izabellaSands]

This man is a gift ❤😂

[@genefaye6795]

The ending is superb. "Kosygin you're in charge"

[@ritorno100]

I wouldn't be surprised if Alan Rickman used this sketch to help make the character of Snape.

[@szhrong]

It was funny how he was able to improv on the spot when one of the audience shouts "HERE!" "I have a detention book."

[@quizmaster85]

Detention for _anyone_ who dares to dislike this roll call.

[@hugohugo2832]

So brilliant. There was one of these at every rural prep School back then.

[@jamesatkins1802]

This sketch must have been ticking away in my subconscious until last week’s English Supply Cover lesson. I thought the boy’s name was Sproat - great amusement in class! Now if Rowan had had a ‘Scroat’ on his register...

[@Ultramaximiser]

It's all in the delivery. In the hands of a lesser mortal it would be meaningless. However, I was wondering what had happened to Masters Inkstain and Jailbait. Perhaps they had already been tweaked

[@richardsparks9894]

They aren't in my sketch. They appeared in a later sequel which I did not write. I think Rowan had grown tired of doing this as his party piece / encore to end his stage shows, and wanted to refresh the franchise. So the later, rude, version came into being.

[@margueritejohnson6407]

Richard Sparks This is so much funnier than the rude version. It’s left up to the audience’s imagination to fill in the blanks, as it were. I’ve only just seen the newer version and I had to find your original to remind me how much better it is. I can never forget Orifice.

[@richardsparks9894]

@@margueritejohnson6407 Well thank you Marguerite! We did a third version, in a charity show called Fundamental Frolics (for Mencap, in the year of the Disabled, 1981). Which I wrote. The Schoolmaster in that one was appalled to discover that the school was now co-ed, and some of his class were... (shock, horror) girls! Including Undermanager, who'd had the op during the summer vacation. And was now Francesca. It's on the record, probably only ever made in vinyl. And was broadcast on the BBC. And yes, in the words of Humphrey Bogart to Ingrid Bergman, "We'll always have Orifice."

[@chriscarr3255]

@@richardsparks9894 That version is at 1:04:03 of kzbin.info/www/bejne/g3nPe4Zve6-rr8U

[@sirknight1399]

And Havvernut, Williams-Wycherley and Wycherley-Williams-Wockett!

[@iRushil]

Simply Brilliant!

[@ghengiscant538]

" Kosygin you`re in charge " Was that topical at the time. still got a laugh either way . Timing and elocution to die for .

[@mayalucas9529]

Why wasn't he cast as Professor Snape?

[@Actingskint]

Interesting idea , but i think he probably lacked the depth and slight edge of darkness that character needed .

[@BenBanjo87]

hippoheppo I remember hearing a rumour that he was approached to play Voldemort at some stage...!

[@PrestonWatches]

Because Alan rickman was born to do Snape's role. . . . Always

[@Cheeseaddicteddaleks]

"Nancy boy Potter."

[@prnfl]

Because harry potter's for twats

[@willfaulkner7389]

4:08, he almost lost composure! Good old Rowan kept it together though!

[@captainamerica6525]

This guy is a riot!! How does he keep from laughing!!!

[@XEmeraldXGreenX]

Fantastic performance - what a talent!

[@Babygirlcutiepie22]

Ahahaha, I love Rowan Atkinson! ;D

[@annehawk]

Didn't catch most of the jokes here, to busy looking at rowans face.. not once did he crack a smile... impressed..

[@Jessica-ig6ug]

He's amazing.

[@dtzjones7632]

Rowan Atkinson's a comic Genius just his visual humour hilarious didn't even have to talk and the sketches brilliant 😂😂😂😂

[@mentalguitarisist]

I love the way they all go silent when he looks at them at 1:48. LOL!!

[@davidtokar4065]

I have had many teachers with that withering gaze....right up there with that of Count Dracula.

[@waivedwench]

I'm a teacher and some of this is so familiar!! As I like to say to whining students "My heart just bleeds..."

[@unraveledultimatefate]

Omg, Hes always funny person, I haven't seen him serious in any moment!

[@virghammer1]

I could not adore this man morel What a genius. Hi, Fellow Capricorn Rowan! Saw him live in West End in Chekhov's "The Bear" and "The Proposal" in 1988 - Right after graduating from 3-year Brit. drama school. (Honor and love to Central School.) - Bloody BRILLIANT. THANKS so much for the wonderfulness, Mr A.! VCH & Midlantic Theatre Co. Theatre in Renaissance Newark (NJ, USA) + Schools & Prisons A NJ 501(c)3 nonprofit corp.

[@sfgdhdhd]

This is first Sheldon Cooper :DDDD Amazing

[@Elishe589]

😄👍

[@PhilGrimwade]

I went to grammar school, this is alarmingly close. I can still remember everyone on the register to this day, tragic...

[@chrisbuxton1958]

just great thanks for posting

[@erkjadrek28]

Such a talented actor Mr. Rowan is. Just great. 👋👋👋👋👋👋👋

[@BenBanjo87]

"Undermanager's answer...upside-down. D'you do it deliberately, Undermanager? You're a moron, Undermanager, WHAT ARE YOU? ...A carbuncle on the backside of humanity." Replace the names with Harry Potter surnames, and I reckon you'd get Severus Snape! xD

[@mariaswonderland]

"Yes!.. Isn't life tragic...?!"

[@singhgaurav1526]

You're 11 years older now since when you commented this. Isn't that awesome ?

[@mariaswonderland]

@@singhgaurav1526 Holy macaroni. Thanks so much for the morning identity crisis! hahahah

[@singhgaurav1526]

@@mariaswonderland 😁

[@BossRoss999]

HAHAHAHAHA soo funny... i like they way that some of the audiance are saying here when he calls out some of the names

[@ebthedoc4992]

Such a glorious, hilarious “Straight Man”! Superb control!

[@norhamadiahmad2637]

Do you have a solicitor Plectrum?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@dollsthedally]

'i shall have to tweak you' :')

[@abhinavtripathi9678]

Oh the man in coat and tie, May God bless you, You may never die...

[@utvpoop]

I acknowledge that Hima Globin and Kosygin were my grandpa's Soviet friends