r/AITA My Brother is Marrying My Bully

[@billiemosely8768]

Story 1: if she didn’t remember, why did she run off crying after being called out? That guilt of facing the person she tortured was eating her alive that’s why.

[@anna8328]

EXACTLY. If the didn't remember, she would have been confused and asked openly "what are you talking about?".

[@astrofan1993]

If she truly felt guilty, she would have apologized years ago. But no, she claimed to not remember doing it. And when called out on it, she acted like the victim. This was something of her own making, and even if she truly did forget (doubtful, but let's go with it), she should have still apologized to OP and try to make things right between them again.

[@whatteamwildcats4033]

Yeah we all knew she was a pussy the second she pretended to not remeber in front of the brother

[@jsum33]

Or, and let me know if this concept is out of your grasp, she just got called a bully and embarrassed over HS drama in front of her fiances family while trying to make a good first impression to her future in laws. Isn't it weird how the rest of OPs family isn't on her side and finds what she did pathetic? Which would lead one to believe it's the first they are hearing about it. Meaning she never had to go therapy or cry herself to sleep in her mothers arms. OP is petty and pathetic.

[@anagonzalez8972]

That's not guilt, that's shame. And she ran away because she feels like the victim.

[@ruaine83]

Wedding mom should be 1 higher. You forgot that she STOLE FROM A CHARITABLE DONATION.

[@kristashafer93098]

And she thinks donating the food would have been wasteful. She’s a huge jerk. Bravo to OP for casually alerting her sister! She could have taken a microphone and told everyone loudly “The food is from my wedding 8 months ago! My cheapskate mother took it home and froze it. Eat at your own risk!!”

[@kranberry3318]

@@kristashafer93098 I thought that’s what she was going to do! And if she had, she STILL wouldn’t be wrong!!

[@alinasanchez278]

Plus their a chance for someone to get food poison.

[@shurikenboi3737]

Also the leftovers were big enough to feed everyone at the wedding

[@THEDubbleHelixx]

There isn't even the question of whether or not Annika bullied OP. Both OP and the brother know she did, so there is no reason for her not to apologize. The brother is spineless.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

Yeah, the brother literally can confirm it, so it's not an unjustified accusation at all.

[@abiean222]

its also like rslash said, if she really didn't remember bullying OP, that means that she is so much worse too. who wants to be with someone who not only bullied your sister, but is such a terrible trash person that they can't even remember doing it? as if it on the same level as what they had for lunch a month ago? like seriously who is attracted to someone like that?

[@czarinajohnson6074]

Also the “she doesn’t remember” but she got up and ran away crying? Okay

[@blackroberts6290]

he a simp

[@Vincentz5033]

​@@abiean222qq/@@@

[@TheDarwinProject1]

2nd story: OP's mom is also the AH for considering donating food to homeless people "wasteful" & not valuing the health/safety of her family & her daughter's new in laws. Both a classist snob & psychopathic scammer/cheapskate.

[@beeziebubs2756]

For real! It takes a real special asshole to literally steal food from the homeless only to let it go to waste over half a year later.

[@Estarile]

I'd argue it's more this than health and safety. If the food has been frozen for 8 months it's probably safe to eat. If not top quality

[@beeziebubs2756]

@@Estarile I think there’s still a risk for food borne illness depending on how long it was left out before the mom froze it.

[@johngrim3468]

indeed, the mom really needs to take a servsafe class.

[@EP05]

The 1st story I haven’t even listened to yet but already reminds me of when OP’s brother married the mother of her niece’s bully

[@DarkLobster69]

Wasn’t there also one where OP married or dated the mom of his kids bully and was confused why they were struggling to become sisters?

[@leohunter801]

Yeah I was thinking about that too, but I do remember a post about a mother upset that her son married her daughters bully and when she took the other DIL's out on like a shopping trip the bully wasn't invited and got pissy because of it

[@nick-brothwood]

@@leohunter801 I remember that one and when DIL demanded to know why the mum did that, that was when the latter laid all the cards out.

[@ammyterasu2318]

@@nick-brothwood Do you have a link to this story?

[@JC4.80]

Ik the one you’re thinking of. Sure most others do too

[@maddiekoester7785]

Just because Annika doesn’t “remember” bullying OP, doesn’t mean OP doesn’t remember Annika bullying her.

[@champslim]

This right here!

[@Richard_Nickerson]

The brother remembers too

[@Mothman1992]

The tree remembers what the axe forgets

[@JHyde-tv3if]

Precisely. I bet if I were to go off on mine she would not only not remember me but would likely also not remember how many people she sent to mental wards and my friend who shot himself.

[@Sanodi21]

First story, obviously NTA but there's something I want to point out that really makes me think Annika is lying; her reaction to being called out. Instead of questioning what OP meant, making *any* attempt to apologize, or anything along those lines, she decided to pick the option that caused the most harm. I was going to consider that maybe she had grown up and was too scared to approach OP and having the reality slammed right into her face was too much, except that goes against her 'forgetting' OP. She wouldn't have reacted as she did. I don't blame OP for refusing to apologize and their parents and brother are definitely TA for choosing Annika over her.

[@gaxalee7392]

My brother said something shitty to me when we were little kids, and an hour after a bad argument where that got brought up, he apologized, said he doesn’t remember saying it, and that those awful words could never apply to me. If a man who despises being wrong can apologize for something he doesn’t remember doing then so can everyone else.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

Yeah, just crying and running away? Sounds like an admission of guilt and proof of shame to me.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

​@@gaxalee7392 One thing you said when little is also completely different than actively bullying as teens.

[@abiean222]

@@Richard_Nickerson and yet their brother did still apologize for hurting someone over something that they don't remember.

[@abiean222]

@@Richard_Nickerson i wouldn't really call it a proof of shame so much as a way of gaining sympathy. people are always more inclined to be sympathetic and side with the person who is crying.

[@VorpalSnickerSnack]

Spoiled food: I work in kitchens, hearing the cross contaminants and food poisoning makes my skin crawl. Health inspectors would have a field day.

[@qdllc]

After working at a restaurant, there are items I do and don’t order because some are made by the cooks and sanitation is adhered to and others are made by wait staff who don’t give a fig about keeping a prep station clean.

[@johngrim3468]

i took a servsafe calss, i know how long food should last and when it should be tossed, cook food should be eaten immediately and if you save it. it should be only a few days. like 1 -3 days tops.

[@DaremoKamen]

If Elizabeth is a psychiatrist, I wonder how long it will take her to see through Allison's bullshit and narcissism? Of course, when she does Allison and her parents will blame it on OP.

[@pollypockets508]

The parents are the biggest ones to blame. The sister sucks too, but the parents could have handled it way better. They are awful parents.

[@strikeforce1500]

Honestly. The parents are the biggest assholes.

[@taylahwhiticker2083]

It’s also difficult to tell the situation when you have a bias (involved in the situation). This is partially why there is rules in healthcare of all types to not treat family and friends. She might just not be able to pick up because she’s got the “rose coloured sunglasses” so to speak.

[@hasatamashi]

Maybe OP is just insecure. We don't know from the story. Bringing his or her partner is not really an ahole move

[@dimsufferer9951]

@@hasatamashiit is when you never bring anyone else home. It is when the first time you're letting your family meet your significant other is at someone else’s function. It is when you're only using your significant other as a pawn to shit on your family

[@whatteamwildcats4033]

Lets just call the first story what it is. Annika makes carters peepee hard, and hes choosing that over family and contrary to what he thinks 'not remembering' is an even bigger insult that remembering and choosing to not apologize.

[@Facesofash]

He's thinking with his head! Just,,, not the right one

[@AliSakurai]

Story 4: I had a Uncle who pulled a stunt like that on me when I was little and I just told my Grandpa(his older brother) on him. My Grandpa chewed him out mostly because why in the hell was he asking a 5 year old to get him a beer? He also told my Uncle that he could stand to lose a few pounds so he can get his own damn drinks.

[@thetruth1816]

Your grandpa sounds like a grade A dude..

[@AliSakurai]

@@thetruth1816 He was. This is the same man who yelled at his youngest brother for calling my mom fat even though my mom wasn't really fat. My mom didn't care at first but when she grew into a teenager, she was more sensitive about how she looked and my Grandpa decided to take her to dickeys and buy her lots of clothes. My Grandparents were frugal so many of her clothes came from garage sales or thrift stores so for my mom she was getting designer clothes all because he wanted to show off his pretty little girl. Everytime she would show up in her new clothes, he would compliment how pretty his baby was and would glare at his brothers and sisters to make sure that they gave good compliments.

[@madambutterfly1997]

People like Annika are truly evil if they don't remember bullying one person it's because they have a track sheet of doing this to other people

[@asdfdsf-s4u]

Annika didn't remember any of the bullying - the fact she cried at a single mention of it proves that.

[@dracko158]

The fact she pretends not to remember and cries at first mention of it shows that she shows no remorse for what she did.

[@THEDubbleHelixx]

Annika may not remember the specific instances of bullying, but if she truly changed, she'd DEFINITELY never forget that she was horrible in high school. That kind of guilt keeps you up at night, if you're actually a decent person. If she really forgot, then she probably hasn't changed.

[@pentagrin4157]

@@THEDubbleHelixx Literally. I was a bully as a teenager and it haunted me. I apologized to someone who claimed I was transphobic to them even though I don't remember being transphobic (it was pre-2015 so that kind of behavior was accepted then) but I still apologized because I knew I was a piece of shit brat back then. You don't just 'forget' you bullied people to the extent that OP's bully did, unless you are still a bully who doesn't give a shit.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

​@@asdfdsf-s4u The fact that she cried and ran proved that she DOES remember

[@madambutterfly1997]

That mother is absolutely disgusting recycling food from 8 months ago just to save money on catering. This is one of those rare examples where being cheap and miserly should be considered a sin

[@peterhobson3262]

There is no way that food could be sanitary, let alone appetizing.

[@devilheartcandy]

Someone get the mom her own TLC show, she’s awful

[@RevolverOcelot2008]

The food itself is likely fine healthwise as long as it was allowed to cool before freezing. It probably won't taste as great though. Nothing wrong with saving money but there is no way I'd do that for a wedding/hosted event

[@Noel-822]

I mean she stole the food from her daughter (daughter paid, it's her food) and also effectively from homeless people since it was supposed to be donated. All so she could save her own money. Definitely a sin

[@RiveroftheWither]

Apparently there is a small update where op clarifies that this is a habit for her mom. She was sick very often as a kid because her mom would undercook food, use expired stuff, leave out leftovers, etc. Op is doubly in right as she literally has a childhoods worth of experience backing her up.

[@seekeroftruth6728]

Former chef here. That wedding food probably shouldn't have even been served to the needy after the first wedding. Buffets have VERY strict guidelines about food safety.

[@gigiapollo]

A friend of mine donated the leftovers from her wedding. Granted, we had wrapped up dinner EARLY and the food was cleared away within an hour of everyone being served. The shelter wasn’t even a 15 minute drive away and the shelter staff checked the temperatures before accepting the food. The only stuff they didn’t take was the salmon, so the shelter kitties enjoyed that 🤣

[@seekeroftruth6728]

@@gigiapollo Yup, totally different circumstances.

[@nadirimyers6643]

@@gigiapollogood to know. Thanks for the info

[@leohunter801]

Okay if she "didnt remember" that she bullied OP then why did she run out of there crying instead of trying to "tell the truth" or even try and defend herself

[@Vincent_Beers]

Gaslighting narcissist. Always play the victim and claim your victim is the one causing the problem. In the snowflake world we live in, they get away with it frequently.

[@JustSomeSophie]

For the second story, frozen food can still go bad and make people ill. I grew up with a negligent and awful mother, I had a reaction to some frozen fish fingers, to a point that I grew up avoiding all fish because it had been so nasty I believed I had a really severe allergic reaction (She never took me to the doctor so I never questioned an allergy). I'm 26 now and only in the last 2 months have I learnt I'm not allergic to fish, just incapable of stomaching frozen food that's been stuck in the back of the freezer for way too long. I'm not saying don't eat frozen food, just be aware of *when* you froze it, and make sure you eat it within a reasonable time frame so not to make yourself ill. It really isn't worth it.

[@wargamesmaster]

I had the exact same trauma, not being able to eat fish for years because of getting badly sick once (I still remember the doctor telling me I was this close of needing to go to an hospital...), the only difference being the fish wasn't frozen food, it was bought in a fish market.

[@JustSomeSophie]

@wargamesmaster I'm so sorry you experienced that. Food trauma is so very difficult to manage, I hope things are better and safer for you now 💜

[@Tustin2121]

Apparently OP said in an update that she’s been through similar, as her mother has always been bad with food, and so she would get sick a lot as a child.

[@HackiePuffs]

Food trauma and aversions are really a thing. I got stomach flu about a year ago and the last thing I ate before I threw up my insides was raviolis. After that it was hard for me to eat raviolis again without feeling grossed out. Eventually we did find a different brand that sat well with me which I’m happy about because I still love raviolis 😋

[@suitdoggy4707]

Even it didn't make anyone sick and freezing has the magical ability to make food survive 8 MONTHS. It's still just downright disrespectful to serve that at her own daughter's wedding. She's putting her daughter in such a humiliating position and doesn't bat a single eye about it. Like no one will notice how dry and old the food tastes.

[@beck-nightengale]

Anyone who ruins someone's life for so many years and claims they "don't remember it" is most definitely NOT a good person. Assuming she's telling the truth, which I highly doubt she is (she's most likely lying to try and get out of the consequences of her actions when a simple apology and some remorse MIGHT have sufficed), then all that says about her is that she doesn't even think about other people when she acts maliciously. That's not what I'd call a good person.

[@abiean222]

i'd call that a massive red flag

[@strawberrysoulforever8336]

I think she pretends not to remember because she's too ashamed to even admit to herself that she could be so cruel.

[@Lestaticate]

1st Story: If Annika “doesn’t remember” what happened back then - why the frick did she publicly burst into tears? Gee, could it be … the consequences of her actions? Not even a heartfelt or half-assed apology, just feigned ignorance. I’m also calling the brother out for knowingly choosing/defending his sister’s abuser. To quote Uncle Roger: “Is the p*ssy that good?”

[@RollingStar04]

Sorry children

[@dustypaladin9216]

If I ever have children and one of them supports a bully or marries a bully or is a bully I’m disowning them right then and there. I was bullied almost to suicide( I’m doing much better now) and I know just how awful bullies are.

[@point0case144]

Haiyyyaaa... 😔

[@sethurott9927]

@@dustypaladin9216 so instead of trying to reform their views and discipline your children, you’d rather disown them? Don’t have kids, and get mental help.

[@abi_cat28]

​@@sethurott9927 If they're grown, they can make their own decisions. Also, out of the 5 billion people on Earth, why would you want to date your sibling's bully?

[@Mithandune]

To first story, worst part, parents are pressuring OP to appologize to Annika to keep peace and they’re just so excited about Carter getting married that they’re willing to look past what happened and dismiss it because it happened almost 10 years ago.

[@Mithandune]

To second story, Op said in comments: My mom is really not good with food. I was sick a lot growing up because she never cooked food thoroughly and would leave leftovers out for hours. My husband thinks I may have some food ptsd lol

[@ShadowTaipan]

"You can't apologize for something you can't remember?" Simple. "I don't remember doing anything to you, but I'm sorry if I did." Not hard.

[@dracko158]

Honestly the "Apologize to keep the peace" thing is BS. This shows that they are lazy and literally couldn't care less at all.

[@ShadowTaipan]

@@dracko158 It really is. She wouldn't have meant it, but others can indeed feel remorse when someone feels hurt by them, even if they aren't aware.

[@cypherglitch]

Well, yeah. It was a decade ago. to hold a grudge for that long is not healthy and very immature especially when they had not even contacted or seen her high school bully in 10 yrs. It says more about OP than Annika. 10 +/- yrs is a long time wanting to pickup right from where she left it at high school, acting as if Annika is still doing it. People change in 10 yrs especially at the ages they were at at the time. From age 17 to 25 is where alot of mental emotional growth takes place, moving from child to adult... well someone people stay as a child.. Its is a problem OP needs to work out within herself, not Annika.

[@kneemow]

The fiancee in the first story is a straight up psychopath, and OP's brother clearly deserves what's to come if he follows through with marrying Annika.

[@fanvamp5134]

I was thinking the same. Man that brother will be MISERABLE and thinking back to "I should've seen the signs" especially 'forgetting' such a terrible thing. She is a gaslighted, manipulater, and a sociopath. But then I guess brother like that deserves her.

[@kranberry3318]

2 years later: “AITA for having no empathy and saying ‘I told you so’ when my brother announced to the family he’s getting a divorce?”

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 3: if he would doing something nice how come he refused to give you back your stuff when you didn't want it? He just saw very valuable books and wanted to sell it for some pocket cash, the problem is he's not smart enough to get away with it. He locked the job because of his actions. Don't give him a penny in fact block him, you shouldn't let a thief into your life anyway.

[@davidharshman7645]

Yeah...as part of geek culture, I have seen friends "secretly borrow" items from others for appraisal as a gift. It always seemed weird to me, but the items did get returned and the owner was often glad to get the appraisal, so whatever. But, refusing to return the items when he got called out...massive red flag.

[@undrhil]

@@davidharshman7645 I have never heard of borrowing something to get it appraised in secret. This is not a part of geek culture

[@pandoraeve9751]

@@undrhil I guess it *could* be in very certain circles? I am not part of those circles. (And, well, as far as I'm concerned, collecting is generally for the love of the thing itself and not for the money, generally speaking. But like nobody I know really has the money, so I'm not super familiar?) But like... going into their room and taking the books? I sure don't trust that. But again I guess I don't really trust any part of this, you know.

[@Ra88ful]

As someone who was bullied through all of my school life, that pain doesn't just go away. The fact op brother is calling what happened "highschool drama" is 100% a spit in the face to people who have been or still are bullyed, and the fact his gf like "oh i don't remember" is bullshit of the highest quality and show she still is a b word to this day. If my brother ask me to do what Op brother did i do the same thing Op did and Op should go low Contact or no contact. Both of then can be happy in hell Op bully: 5/5 Op brother 5/5

[@rashef]

You were a Bully?

[@Ra88ful]

@@rashef no sorry meant i was bullied lol

[@MinusTheCoffee]

Yep worse than pedo and child abusers! He dated a girl who his sister said bullied her 10 years ago must be Satan on earth

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

First Story, NTA: OP's brother could’ve got engaged to anyone but he chose the one person who made his sister's life a living hell. This man expects OP to just let go the torment she Annika put OP through just because he is engaged to her? As someone who was bullied, this would be low contact worthy to me. He can be with whoever he wants but he can’t expect Annika's bullying victim to just accept it. I agree with Rslash, if she truly didn’t remember she would’ve apologized right then and there; instead she refuse to apologize and claims to not remember the bullying (which is obviously a lie because if she truly didn’t remember she would’ve tried to interact with OP and try to talk about why OP is ignoring her, instead she ignored OP right back) Second Story, NTA: Um, frozen food can still spoil or get freezer burned. OP prevented a lot of people from having at best multiple trips to the bathroom and at worst, going to the hospital for food poisioning. OP's mom IS being cheap and SHE made the family look bad Third Story, NTA: Lmao what? OP went too far?! Jay literally stole OP's property, refused to give them back, and double downed by not taking OP's threat lightly. He commits a crime and have the audacity to say OP went too far? Hilarious. Lmaoooo the audacity to demand money because OP called the cops to report a crime lmaooo this man is insane Fourth Story, NTA: OP isn’t a jerk for what they did, the uncle is an asshole for constantly wasting OP's time and trying to justify it (or excuse it) using generations. OP did things that I’d do completely differently; first time I’ll let it slide, second time I’d be annoyed, third time I’d say "get ur drink urself" Fifth Story, NTA: Good ol' fashion favoritism. Alison knew what she was doing and had every intention of making this dinner about her. The fact she never brought any girlfriends home before until this dinner to celebrate OP's job speaks a lot of volume of what she wanted from this dinner. Allison sucks and their parents suck for playing favorites Sixth Story, NTA: How is it fair to OP that she always have to play babysitter? I would’ve done the same thing, especially if talking doesn’t do anything to help

[@Batman-lg2zj]

Past is past and op should let this go and pretend that her former friend isn’t there

[@LLandS18]

​@@Batman-lg2zjtell me how your life is as a doormat?

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

@@LLandS18facts

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

@@Batman-lg2zjso u are telling me u would just let go of all the suffering someone put u though without so much of an apology just to kiss the ass of a family member?

[@ramenbomberdeluxe4958]

@@Batman-lg2zj How does it feel to be blissfully ignorant? Yes, ignorant, I don't think you're malicious. Never attribute malice what can be attributed to ignorance or stupidity.

[@jessiematthews6339]

I have legit, diagnosed cPTSD from the bullying I went through in school. I have severe social anxiety. When meeting new people, I just assume they hate me and will do something crappy to be horrible to me eventually. I have gone through years of therapy for depression and the desire to unalive myself. This isn't just "high school drama." If I learned that someone I was related to was marrying one of my bullies and was told I should get over it because they "don't remember," I would cut them out of my life. Forever. The brother KNOWS what OP went through and should have dropped the bully the second he found out who she was.

[@DarkEinherjar]

Oh, she ABSOLUTELY REMEMBERS IT. The fact that she avoided OP like the plague and broke down crying when confronted with the truth just confirms it. She lied to the brother, and he was stupid enough to buy it. NTA

[@ghanttchart2851]

I don’t think the brother buys it. I think is more a case where the brother thought with his tiny shriveled up Winkie more than he did his brain.

[@Veldrusara]

If someone basically destroys you and then can't even remember what they did (even if that were true), it makes them even worse of a person, because they'll ruin you without a second thought and not care. Edit: lol, I'm glad Slashy agrees. Hadn't got to that part yet!

[@beck-nightengale]

Exactly. I don't think she realizes just how much her justification makes her seem even worse.

[@dracko158]

Story 1: NTA. As a bullied victim myself, I have no sympathy for bullies, AT ALL. Annika set out to destroy OP's life, left so many emotional scars on OP, and then claims she didn't remember bullying OP and then refusing to apologize? If she really doesn't remember, she would have no problem apologizing! Obviously she shows no remorse for what she did if she refuses to apologize. And the brother says OP is horrible and being petty over "high school drama"? Bullying leaves a lot of emotional and psychological scars, and this guy has never been bullied, obviously he would think it isn't a big deal. Both of them are AHs.

[@MinusTheCoffee]

Damn you must of heard a different story to everyone else, the only thing that was said was she “spread rumours” what rumours we don’t know. How can you know draw so many assumptions and conclusions.

[@UnknownAFS]

the way I see it, the brother has every right to marry this girl. he just needs to know that by doing so he is ruining his relationship with his sister permanently. if you love someone you shouldn't be asked to remove those feelings by someone else but you also can't just go around making love to people who have hurt your family. this all goes down to how much you care about family. OP gets 0/5 buttholes, Annika gets 3/5 buttholes, brother gets 3/5 because although he is in his right to love this person, he is willingly hurting his sister by doing this, and that butthole aunt who kept probing gets 2/5 buttholes for being insensitive.

[@Bavariandude123]

Pass judgment on the aunt, she may not have known about Annika or may not have recognized her

[@SkunkApe407]

I'm sorry, but if you're a grown adult and still hung up on high school, you're the problem. OP is self-centered and childish to hold a grudge from childhood. As someone who cut contact with literally his entire family, I would suggest that OP's brother do the same to her. Her inability to mature and overlook childish BS isn't her brother's burden to carry.

[@Bavariandude123]

@@SkunkApe407 I disagree, she abused her throughout high-school and manipulated her like a massive bitch, that's like saying if the brother married somebody who raped her she should just forget about it. It seems to me you might be the self centered and entitled one, but I wont judge since I dont know your trauma, but I was abused by my mother (sexually and emotionally) my father (verbally and emotionally) and my brother (in everyway but sexually) and I've never felt a need to cut contact with any of them.

[@atheon596]

@@SkunkApe407 How is OP childish? I think the SIL is childish and narcissistic for not making amends or owning up to her mistakes. OP's brother, despite knowing that the SIL hurt OP, decides to overlook it and marry her anyways. I think OP should cut contact with the rest of the family. Literally everyone is on OP's side, why aren't you?

[@lokilaufeyson7035]

@@atheon596 i bet he isn't on op side bc he's a looser bully himself 🤣

[@j-zk6tf]

First story, unless Annika had massive head trauma she definitely remembers being a complete c to op

[@CherryDoughnut]

Story 2: Hi I studied to be a chef. That food is a health hazard I don't care if it was frozen during those 8 months in storage. If it has been out in the buffet for any amount of time it's supposed to be gotten rid of by either throwing it away, taking it home or rescue food services (people knowingly buy left over food type of thing) you don't just store it to be used later. It absolutely isn't to be served again in another buffet. It has all types of fun germs from customers in it. It would be different if the food was the leftovers that never got served but I'm assuming they are the already served once leftovers. Even if they were the ones that never got served it is still tacky as heck.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 nta what a slap in the face. He knew what she put he through but he got with her anyway. She deserved to be called out.

[@tntaylor101]

When the brother demanded OP apologize because Bully doesn’t remember… OP should have said “Apologize for what? I don’t remember saying that. So I clearly don’t have to apologize. Because all I have to do is say I don’t remember, whether I do remember or not. That’s acceptable, right? Because…” I mean really run the overstating-the-obvious breakdown into the ground.

[@jazzichured5796]

In the first bully story, if she didn’t remember why did she bust out crying after she got exposed or how come the bully never talked to her at the dinner if she forgot the entire situation. Even if she forgot the family knows her as a bully, she decided to just pop in without apologizing Not everyone actually means apology’s. Some people just fake it to save face. The fact that she couldn’t even do that is crazy

[@imperialspacemarine1539]

"She bullied you but doesnt remember so everything is fine" this brother is either stupid, a POS or both. I have serious issues in public where i feel judged by anyone even glancing at me. this made flee into the confines of my home where i spent 99% of my time outside of work and shopping for necessities. This is a scar that i carry because from elementary school towards the end of highschool I was bullied. Bullying leaves scars invisble to the eye. it is not just highschool drama. its a weight you cannot shed that will always and i mean ALWAYS weigh you down. therapy can ligthen it but this will never truly go away. OPs brother and so many other people need to learn this. Its not "just" this its not "just" that. its trauma for the bullied. fuck that brother. seriously.

[@yazajag]

Same, my brother knows i was bullied severely in elementary school, jhs, and high school. We shared some of the same friends, and he wouldn't ever do that. I have cptsd from some other traumatic experiences, and he wouldn't believe or buy any of that amnesia bullcrap, let alone date and marry my tormentors.

[@yazajag]

Wishing you healing and more happiness in your life. I barely can leave my apt either, too overwhelming sometimes.

[@dardarbinks3391]

All of this right here. I got bullied from kindergarten to senior year of high school. I used my fists to solve my problems as a child was told that was unacceptable but being beat up by other kids was. So i was not allowed to lay hands on my bullies it only got taken care of when bruises started to appear from the bullies. In middle school the system didn't give a crap i was being bullied except the school counselor. High school was alright because I at least managed to avoid all but one of my bullies because I took collegiate level classes. But yeah still to this day I have a lot trauma from being beat up day in and day out.

[@valitsaki]

I am so sorry for what you've been through. Psychologists and Psychiatrists often diagnose people with personality dissorders, like narcisistic, borderline, avoidant etc to name a few. Do we know how or why some people develop them? Well yes and no, we don't know why some people develop them after living with a neglecting parent for example while other people living with a neglecting parent don't, but we do know that usually, it's people that have gone throught some kind of trauma or a specific situation and have grown up with a certain "mentality", shaping their values, beliefs or views of the world differently than what is widely accepted as "the norm". My father died when I was a kid and I grew up with a certain personality dissorder while my simbling with another. Although we went through the same situation suposedly, we developed different traumas (not accounting any other traumas like bulling on this though). What I mean to say with all this prologuing is that according to the specialists, a hell lot of adult problems, like anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, personality dissorders and traumas do start or ar deeply rooted in things that happened in our childhood, so the "it's not" or "it's just" mentality and "just grow out of it" bullpoop that some people spew out is not only stupid and wrong, it's almost outright crimminal when a whole brunch of the medical field is dedicated to try and MEND the damage that has been done in childhood and suport and teach broken adults how to function close to properly. There is no "grow out of it" or "it's just" this. Again, I am so sorry for what you've been through and what you're going through. Not MY cup of tea but still intimate enough with what you describe and I know how hard it is to live like this. Once these traits settle in it's very very difficult to work around them .

[@sethurott9927]

You can heal from bullying. You’re just choosing to not heal and let your scars define your existence. You’re weak.

[@janputz4157]

If I went to that wedding and got food poisoning from eight months old food and heard that story that mom better hope she's not home because I'd 100% make sure her bathroom suffers the consequence.

[@theavatarofinsanity]

Honestly I think the mom in the second story deffinitly IS mean, because like Op said the food would've been donated after Ops wedding if the mom didn't inferfere. So she denied an entire Wedding full of food from going to lower income people just so she can be gross and save a bit of money. I think that's worth more than 2 out of 5 to be honest.

[@rhuonaChanel]

Worse, it's not just food frozen for a week, it was frozen for months😅😅😅

[@silverflight01]

Story 2: That is literally a health hazard. Like, 8 months? Someone is going to die of food poisoning from the mom's cheapness. What sort of cooked food under those circumstances can last 8 months frozen without going spoiled

[@stevenscott2718]

its not the length of time frozen thats usualy the issue, it the time sat out before freezing, food thats been sat out for an entire wedding has been out far to long.

[@absolutelynot6546]

I'm fine with frozen leftovers, but they should be reheated and served immediately. Leaving it out for more than an hour especially if it's a warm day, for a bunch of people to eat is just nasty. Probably still safe enough, but I wouldn't risk it.

[@firesong7825]

First story: It's high school, not kindergarden. Of course she remembers, she just doesn't want to admit it.

[@TiffWaffles]

To be honest, many people remember a lot of what they did in kindergarten. For example, I remember throwing a fit as a three year old girl in kindergarten because one of the boys in my class told me that because I am a 'yucky girl' that I couldn't play at the water table with him and his friends. I ended up shutting the water table down because I threw a toy boat at the teacher when she told me to go play somewhere else. 😬 While I don't remember everything given how young I was, I do remember the name of my teacher. I also remember some of the arts and crafts we did and the fact that I was super excited to finally learn how to read and write. I even remember how one of the educational assistants mocked me for how I was holding my pencil given how small my hands were.

[@firesong7825]

@@TiffWaffles I never said that there would be no memories if it was from then, just that it'd be a lot more understandable for someone not to remember something from then.

[@coopercane500]

Let's not forget that OP's mother took the food when it was going to be donated to a soup kitchen. She basically stole from the poor and homeless.

[@shadowmewfred09]

If Annika "doesn't remember what she did" and isn't apologising for her behaviour then she's not a nice person, also the brother is just as bad he's essentially excusing the torment his sister went through all because he was to get into her pants. Op i wouldn't go to the wedding and cut them out of your life terrible people belong together

[@silverflight01]

Story 5: See, unlike a previous post, we actually see how much of the spotlight was stolen from OP, and it was pretty much the entire spotlight. The dinner is supposed to be primarily about OP, and she ended up barely getting any spotlight because of her "Golden Sister". What a toxic family

[@MAJORQUEENBITCH101]

She left a lot out. That time was the only time OPs sister had time to come. She lives in the other side of the country

[@Itherious]

Op is a butthole, simply because the sister did absolutely nothing wrong. She did something that billions of people world wide do. Which is to bring there significant other. To family celebrations to be a part of it. Op is so wrapped up in the past that. She can't see when she is being unreasonable and ridiculous. And is making something out of absolutely nothing. Op needs to get over herself and grow up.

[@joshdillon9637]

@@MAJORQUEENBITCH101 So what? Doesn't make it okay for the family to ignore the one that the dinner was LITERALLY FOR. Golden child got a GF, so fucking what? People get BF's and GF's and break up all the time. The middle daughter STARTED THEIR OWN BUSINESS and basically got no acknowledgement for it. I'm still with Rslash on this one. Toxic family.

[@marjoriejohnston4905]

@@MAJORQUEENBITCH101 And? She knows full well what she did.

[@anapeglar4602]

Did OP say where their bakery is?? I wanna go to support em and because I LOVE bakeries

[@Vincent_Beers]

A secret surprise appraisal would barely make any sense between two close friends who share a common hobby together. It makes no sense when it's clear this was barely an acquaintance who just happened to be allowed in your home for a party. Either way, the instant he refused to return them made it clear what his intentions were.

[@BeanManolo]

Second story: OP is actually a hero on that one. Imagine if she or her sister never found out and everyone ate it? Her sister's wedding would be remembered as the worst moment ever because EVERYONE WOULD HAVE THE WORST FOOD POISONING POSSIBLE! Her mother could very well be on that 'Cheapskates' show and seems they wouldn't have to exagerate anything for it

[@Shimonotoki]

rSlash, regarding story one, your psychopath argument is brilliant. OP should use that, the next time the topic comes up. And honestly, the brother has to know, that it is a lie. He can't be that dumb. But it is a convenient route for him to take, so he can have, what he wants.

[@maieen2665]

*First OP:* It k1lls me how people expect victims of bullying/wrongdoing to be the "bigger person" and be nice to the perpetrators. OP is NTA. Side note: I though "Annikah" was pronounced like "uh-NEE-kuh." Guess not. *Second OP:* Um ... WHAT?! OP is NTA. It was nice of her relatives to volunteer to take the food with them after the wedding. And I'm sure they'll let OP's mom plan for their big events. *Third OP:* The audacity of some people, I swear. OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* ... And _this_ is why I don't like going to family functions. The elder relatives (re: grandparents) get to talk to me/invade my personal space any type of way, and I'm expected to accept it because they're my elders. Plus, my parents are unpleasant toward me around extended family. Sorry for projecting. This story triggered me. OP is NTA. *Fifth OP:* OP's parents are just as much to blame for letting Allison steal OP's spotlight as OP. OP is NTA. If discussing how she felt about dinner doesn't get through to her parents, OP should consider going NC. *Sixth OP:* Looks like OP's family's plan to dump the kids on OP for the fiftieth time went ... up in smoke. 😎 OP is NTA. Except for the book story, this feels like AITA: Garbage Family Edition.

[@TsukiKageTora]

“Love at first sight”… yet when you knew how she treated your sister you continued to “love” her? I will never do that do my family! I will never stoop to even dating someone who bullied and never is strong enough to apologize. OP go NC with your brother, he isn’t a good brother nor a good person if he loves the woman who made your life a living heck

[@dinlupus3196]

Love at first sight is a stupidity, how can you love someone just upon meeting them?, people can be literal killers, abusers or just bastard like this woman and you won't know just by see them and think "this is my soulmate" but for the brother that must be his true love, having in count how none of them both care about Op's feelings

[@ashleyd7023]

If you bully someone or are horrible to them don’t cry and expect people to feel bad for you when the consequences of your actions come back at you.

[@maxsupernova]

Final story: Better life choices? Cannibis is legal in Canada, so this is really hypocritical, considering the rest of the family is having beer and going to wineries.

[@thetruth1816]

"Better life choices" translation " I thought I could still bully you and you won't find ways out"..

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

People are so quick to bash on weed and while getting liver damage and lung cancer

[@mariposa9506]

I think weed is a bad life choice but can't understand why the family thinks so when everyone else is impaired as well.i also think sil should take care of her own kids and let the brothers spend time together. It would be kind if op would take them for a short stint to give her in laws a break as a favor but only if she's OK with it if it's her own idea.

[@YesIlikebananasSo]

drugs are stigmatised and alcohol is considered “culture/lifestyle” so people aren’t going to see this POV

[@savageinkstudios2969]

St1- i agree with rslash. Claiming you dont remember/not remembering is even worse. It means what they did to you was so insignificant in their eyes that it wasnt even worth committing to memory. Thats cold.

[@RRW359]

Story 2 I couldn't help but notice that the Sister, who is the only person who matters in terms of her party, didn't complain about OP.

[@peachymiku6432]

Yeah, that's refreshing in stories like that. It wouldn't surprise me if the sister also started to warn guests. She started with OP and then starting warning others too. And even if she didn't, she likely agreed with OP to warn the guests too.

[@kingredacted]

I wonder why someone would ever date and marry someone that has a history of spreading fake rumors. You never know if she pulls the stunt again and splits the family.

[@lwolfstar7618]

I saw a true crime case exactly like that only yesterday. I can't remember her name but she was "kidnapped" for 22 days to go shack up with her ex, even got him to brand her, and spread rumours that her husband was abusive even though she was the abusive one.

[@pandoraeve9751]

@@lwolfstar7618 Huh, interesting. If you remember the name, please do tell.

[@PinataFreaks]

1st story: Honestly, if it's true that Annika doesn't remember OP, that just makes it worse. First of all, they were supposedly friends at first. And then she spent years making OP's life hell. If she can do that to someone, someone she used to be friends with, and not even remember doing it. That's sociopathic. Unless she has some serious amnesia or something, she is a monster.

[@SABRMatt2010]

Story 1: Annika's high school behavior is a red flag about her personality. OP's brother is about to get into a very dangerous marriage.

[@LA_choca]

1st story. NTA. U gotta be heartless to forget bullying someone for yrs. Mid20s isnt that far form high school years. So her future SIL is already starting her relstionship and marriage with a lie. 2nd if the bro knew who she was why didnt he tell his sis ahead of time so she could choose to leave before they got there?

[@jinxytwist2807]

My brother literally just got married to the same women who bullied me and called me a prostitute for no reason so I ignore her

[@bluedragonfox]

Please tell me you punched her in the face once

[@YesIlikebananasSo]

your brother sucks (sorry if that is offensive) and i hope you live a better life than both of them

[@awgates85]

Story 2, OP is not the butthole. Food safety is very important. Most food poisoning events happen because someone who has little to no training did something unwise with their own food. I understand that expiration dates can be taken with a grain of salt as they are suggestions and not always accurate, but this takes this takes that well past the potential danger zone.

[@fantasygurl101]

Story 1: NTA. Even if we give the EXTREME benefit of the doubt and say that Annika got into a severe accident between high school and college (not likely, considering the timeframe, but this is a hypothetical) that caused some degree of retrograde amnesia and she genuinely DID forget how she bullied OP in high school, it's the fact that Carter didn't even let the family know that they were even DATING and the family met Annika after she and Carter were ENGAGED (almost like he was trying to tell OP "she's gonna be part of the family no matter what, so you'll just have to get over it"), she didn't try to approach OP to give any sort of apology even if she genuinely didn't remember. Story 2: NTA. EIGHT MONTHS?!?! The mom saved that food for EIGHT MONTHS?!?! Two-thirds of an entire year?! I start throwing things out of my fridge after about a week and a half to two weeks, depending on what it is. I'm pretty sure that, even with the BEST freezer, the most food will last is only about a month or so, and that's if it isn't being re-frozen. Also, I'd actually give the mom 3.5/5 buttholes, because let's not forget that OP's original intentions with the food after their wedding was to donate the food to a soup kitchen immediately after, where it actually would have been eaten and not gone to waste Story 3: NTA. I'd go to war over my books, too. And with some of them being SIGNED? Rslash said it best: He was probably taking them to the bookstore to sell them. Story 4: NTA. That joke has NEVER been funny. Story 5: NTA. Alison admittedly sounds a bit like a narcissist and has to have all the attention on her (I'm not a psychiatrist, though, so don't take my word for it), and from what OP says, it kinda sounds like she was raised with that expectation for all the attention. This was a planned attack from Alison. I also feel bad for Elizabeth, she was just used as a pawn in Alison's games to take attention away from OP, and I sadly won't be surprised if it turns out that Alison dumps Elizabeth very shortly after, having gotten what she wanted. Story 6: NTA. OP has continuously had their boundaries walked over when the family just dumps their kids on OP without even asking if it's okay, so they just did what they had to do in order to enforce those boundaries. And for OP's husband saying "just talk to them", it's clear that that hasn't been helping.

[@Aetium]

the first story, there's 2 options, either she does remember, and pretends not to, thereby lying to her spouse and future family in law to make herself appear better than she is all while refusing to acknowledge and apologize for her wrongdoings. OR she doesn't remember, because she's such a bully and inheritly bad person that this behaviour is normal for her so she doesn't even remember the people she's wronged and tormented, all while again refusing to acknowledge or apologize for the pain she's caused. neither of those options are great and should be a crimson red flag for the brother to dump her.

[@Vi0letR0gue]

The food story gives me anxiety, in the UK (not sure about anywhere else) we have a three day limit on leftover food to be served in restaurants/work place kitchens, after 3 days it gets thrown and the mother is serving food 8 months later 🤢

[@spikertaker]

OP's brother chose his pencil over his sister, Annika's got him wrapped around her finger like the ring he bought her. Why do you think they got engaged before anyone even knew of her existence? Because they BOTH know about her mistreating OP like that.

[@pandoraeve9751]

RIGHT? I cannot imagine not at least talking to your parents about having someone in your life if you're reasonably close so it's pretty obviously intentional. They know they're in the wrong.

[@davidharshman7645]

Annaka probably doesn't remember because bullying people was such a part of her daily life that it wasn't a big enough deal to her to remember. To OP, the bullying was trauma. For Annaka, the bullying was just another Tuesday.

[@bakeranita6040]

Plus you know when she starts bullying the brother, he is gonna want compassion from his sister. I hope she helps then tells him I told you so and never talk to him again

[@TheLionheart227]

“Highschool Drama”? More like Highschool Trauma for poor OP… NTA

[@sarahserenityqueen117]

I desperately need an update for the first story. OP you're NTA, but you'll probably have to go no contact with your family until they understand your pain.

[@lornaginetteharrison7168]

Story about the stolen wedding food: To all those relatives on the thieving cheapskate mother’s side, they should watch a few episodes of Kitchen Nightmares and see Gordon Ramsay’s verbal tirades against reusing old frozen foods.

[@stangace20]

First story definitely NTA! The fact, her brother knew the whole time, and never even mentioned it, or asked her if she was OK with it even once, and the fact that Annika didn’t even act surprised, and just burst into tears, because the truth come out, tells you all you need to know about those two!

[@TsukiKageTora]

The dinner story: if I was OK, I would have warned Elizabeth that her so-and-so love is so petty enough and needs so much attention on herself, that she hast to take the one single time that their parents actually devoted to her sister. She can do so much better than that egotistical narcissistic brat. Someone that nice to not be subjected to someone that vindictive.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 1: I don't believe for one second that she doesn't remember, and even if she doesn't like R/ said that makes it way worse. And to rub Sault on it, your brother knew all of this but didn't care, because love at first sight. Don't apologize for anything, it was going to come up sooner or later, and I would call your brother out for knowingly dating a girl I met your high school life a living hell, then conveniently forgot all of it as that means it never happened.

[@neoncrossGRIMEAGLE]

Bullies always have selective memory/are pathological liars.

[@canadalovesanime3137]

last story: For the next "get together". OP should wait for the husband to go to bed the night before, pack a bag and take a little road trip across a border. Depending on the location in BC; OP could be in Alaska, Alberta, or Washington by morning. Then when hubby calls asking where she is; OP can say "I decided to take a little trip to ____, see you Monday!" Since it seems that doing "adult" things makes OP irresponsible.

[@OurHeroXero]

To the first story...Annika can lie/spread false rumours and get a free pass? but when you call your bully out your brother thinks OP is the asshole??? Knowing the person Annika was, why would you want to associate yourself with someone so toxic in the first place? Yes, people absolutely can change...but there's no way Annika didn't know/recognize OP. Remember, Annika and OP used to be besties...and then she [Annika] starting lying/spreading rumours. Annika avoided OP the entire get-together and when they were called out at dinner she broke down in tears. If Annika was remorseful, at any point, she would have approached OP and made an apology.

[@elijah1494]

The first story she didn't ran because she didn't remember she ran out because she felt guilty for the acts she did and never came clean with it

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 2: look I get catering is expensive, but I mean come on, and for the record freezing leftovers don't make it stay fresh forever, it just gives The leftovers a longer shelf life. And a moms is a very long time, even if it was frozen I wouldn't trust food that old. You didn't embarrass the family your mom did, you might have prevented food poisoning.

[@DisneyFanatic2364]

Look, if that were me in the first story, and I accidentally fell in love with my brother's childhood bully (I got a brother, not a sister), I would've confronted them, gotten their side of the story, and if it wasn't an answer like, "Yeah, I realize what I did was wrong, I wish I could take it back," and they didn't try to make up for it, I would've dumped that jerk. It's not necessarily required for your significant other to get along with your family, like them becoming instant best friends, but you also don't want a significant other that treats your family like garbage. Especially with how close I am in with my family.

[@j-zk6tf]

The brother in first story " she's a good person" = she doesn't have a gag reflex

[@josuke_higashikata24]

💀

[@karafrost3663]

Bullies never remember what they did. But the Bullied certainly are.

[@Vincent_Beers]

They remember, they just get off on lying about it to mess with you even more. It's emotional manipulation.

[@SMLYTPMovies]

It’s a great day for some AITA. Thanks Dabney for the content every morning!

[@avatale8612]

I bet Annika is lying and the brother knows and they were both talking trash about op

[@Adniwhack]

Second Story: WHO THE FUCK FREEZES COOKED FOOD FOR EIGHT GODDANG MONTHS??? Mother is The Ahole. 3 / 5

[@astrofan1993]

"For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday." --M. Bison [Street Fighter: The Movie] That's what Story 1 reminded me of. How many bullying victims can never forget the torment they suffered nor the faces of those who inflicted such suffering upon them, only for the bullies to claim they don't remember any of it? What was a defining moment of one person's life is just another day for someone else. What OP's brother should have done was make Annika apologize to OP, regardless of whether or not she truly forgot, otherwise he would break up with her. In not doing so, and then calling OP the bad guy, shows that he doesn't care as much about OP as he thinks he does. OP, I advise you to go LC or NC with your brother and any family members who sided with him and Annika until they come to their senses. As someone who was bullied myself in school, let me tell you that what happened to you was not okay, and you have every right to be owed a sincere apology. If that doesn't happen, surround yourself with the people you want to be with, and cut out of your life the people who won't take your feelings into consideration. It is not worth sacrificing your mental health because your brother expects you to accept his relationship with your bully because he's "family."

[@Caladian]

First Story. Her not remembering being a bully, is actually possible. It has been shown that while those that are bullied remembering being bullied, it isn't so much for the bully. The reasoning is while the bullied remembers due to it being traumatic, to the bully it isn't traumatic and therefore not high priority to be remembered by the brain. Now do I think that Annika is lying in this case? Probably, due to her reaction at the party. Oh... and I was one of those that were bullied so I did a lot of research into it.

[@skybluepainter]

1st story: she maybe didn't remember because she bullied so many people, she couldn't even keep track. but i also think she does remember and is just lying

[@bcatbb2896]

the food story: that is some fucked up cheapness. like legit, that food is almost certain to give food poisoning. ive worked in the food industry and seen firsthand how 'okay' looking food in the freezer can easily go bad when heated

[@Neonsilver13]

The first story, that she supposedly doesn't remember it doesn't make it ok, just because it didn't matter to her does not mean it didn't cause trauma for OP, it can be something one has to deal with for a long time even after the bullying has stopped. It's not great how OP blew up in front of everyone, but then again she was blindsided by it and was pushed to say something, kind of hard to stay calm in that situation.

[@TawnyRoyal]

1st story: a lot of people use the “I don’t remember that” excuse to avoid accountability(which is what I think Annika did), but even if she genuinely forgot, it’s because for OP, it was a traumatic experience and for Annika, it was just another day. I’ve been a bully before, I remember it, I feel guilt about it every time it pops up in my brain and I constantly question what they did that made my brain justify being that awful and what can I do to change that. I’ve also been bullied before, it stuck with me every day making me think “what did I do to deserve this?” Annika should’ve just fucking apologized and acknowledged her bad behavior, even if it was so long ago

[@ArcanineEspeon]

3:23 I 200% agree with this. The number 2 reason I never stopped hating the guy at my high school who mildly sexually harassed me towards the beginning of freshman year, as well as being a general PITA, was that he claimed not to remember it. Which meant that kind of behavior was just another Tuesday for him. (The number 1 reason I didn't forgive him was, of course, that he never apologized.)

[@scpfoundation8376]

I’ve either heard this story on another channel or R/slash repeated this story. Either way it doesn’t change the fact that OPs brother is a jackass for this.

[@myrixica4222]

Story is only a month old so probably heard it else where. It's usually the 2-3 year old stories that get repeated.

[@scpfoundation8376]

@@myrixica4222Charlotte Dobres channel. That’s where I heard it!

[@Victoria-uv4ym]

Story 5: I believe I've heard this before and (if I'm remembering correctly) in the original post she makes it sound like the sister didn't live far and could have just made a quick trip to introduce the girlfriend at any time but OP clarified in comments that the sister only comes back to town like 2 times a year and I want to say lived in a different state. So if I am remembering correctly I don't blame the sister for wanting to bring her girlfriend with her one of the few times she gets to see her family. I do think the rest of the family were bad guys for ignoring OP at her own celebration. I do believe OP about how her sister always gets all the attention, but for this specific moment the sister didn't intentionally steal the spotlight.

[@serge263]

Story Two: Is the mom a relative of Mr. Krabs?!

[@aussiemerican750]

Story 2: Bit of a story time for y’all. My family used to go out and hunt deer for pretty much all of the hunting season, and we would take the meat off of the deer to eat later on. And one major aspect of this was storing the meat. And one of the lessons my dad taught me was that if stored improperly the meat will quickly get freezer burnt, and be inedible, and this principle goes for all food. And even if you store food properly, it’ll still get freezer burnt after only about six-ish months, because that’s just what happened when shit is left in a freezer for too long, it becomes inedible! So yeah the mom is TAH and deserves every bit of flak for what she did.

[@bobbin4559]

RSLASH I’ve been watching old videos and I miss the puppy bloopers, I NEED TO KNOW HOW YUGO IS DOING

[@jaggedlittlepearl8635]

Same!

[@heavenma8184]

I took a food and safety class. Food that has been sitting out for more then 4 hours with no refrigeration is to be thrown out due to the amount of microbes that grow on the food during that time. The first microbes to grow are the ones that cause food poisoning, salmonella, etc. You get my drift, and some microbes can get killed by cold but some of then don't. Example salmonella. Cooked chicken nuggets that are in the freezer that you get from the grocery store you still have to cook or warm up if you don't you risk getting salmonella. Most reception are 2 or 3 hours long and defrosting takes 1 hour and that's not including any extra time it takes for driving and the like. There is no way that food is safe.

[@deathhound1024]

For the first story, I think I am against most people. You cannot say for certain that she is lying about not remembering. It is very possible that, during the 10 years, she had some accident and lost memories. Significantly more common than most people realise. And I also disagree with her apologising for something she doesn't remember. It is an insincere gesture and probably doesn't feel right. I think the biggest issue is the brother. If Annika really doesn't remember, then the only person who knew EVERYTHING and kept it from EVERYONE was the brother. The brother should have either gotten Annika to apologise in the most general way ("I'm sorry for what happened at high school. No one deserves that" kind of apology) or told OP and got them in a room together to talk about things. But putting it off until the day of, that is just ridiculous.

[@SaraSG1]

Yeah I agree with you. I think the brother was hoping that societal norms and Family Harmony would force op to stay quiet. Springing on her at the last moment is a manipulative awful move. If Annika does remember then that's 2 terrible manipulators together.

[@revengenerd1]

I was bullied in a former job 15 years ago by someone who went out of their way to make my life a misery, I am talking death threats by phone at one point after I reported her for prank calling other employees and then mocking them and even swearing at them down phone. 3 years ago I was in home town visiting family and in a bar and talking to this girl and got on very well with her and then one of her friends came up to her and said her first name which is uncommon (at least where I lived at the time) and I said "did you work at in the past?" and she said yes and I mentioned I did too and did she remember me and she said no and I mentioned we had quite a few arguments and she mentioned she has bi polar and at that time period she wasn't diagnosed and so wasn't on medication, I could tell she looked uncomfortable at the conversation so didn't mention it again. In this case though the person could be lying, they could even remember but be ashamed of it so blocking it out rather than confronting it.

[@OurHeroXero]

In the 4th story, the uncle can be a jerk? but when they're called out OP is the butt? Guys, if you can't handle being called out...then you shouldn't *dish it* out in the first place....

[@KyaliArabimitore]

For the book story, you don’t mess with someone else’s books. I probably value my books more than my own life.

[@jessirose7444]

The frozen wedding food story… OP is absolutely not in the wrong. My family went to a church for a short time that served snacks and food after every service and we didn’t realize the little old lady that hosted it was freezing and defrosting the items over and over until they were all gone. We found out after I got one of the worst cases of food poisoning I’ve ever had and the next week we saw her putting everything in the freezer and she happily told us how she was saving the food. 😭

[@backtoklondike]

First story: NTA. Bullying will last you years. I know plenty of people who was bullied in school and who are still affected by it even though they are adults now. It doesn't matter if OP is in her mid 20's or mid 50's, Annikas bullying will always affect her. Now I don't blame OPs brother for falling in love with Annika, love takes a weird turn sometimes. But if I found out that my GF bullied my sister, I'd break it off. Doesn't matter if she remembers it or not or even apologized. How can you be in love with someone who is an awful human being?

[@rhondah.1478]

3rd story: Besides stealing the books, it's creepy that the friend was snooping around in OP's room.

[@pianoofpain8347]

OP: "You betrayed me and bullied me relentlessly. Annika: 🎵ToXiC GosSip tRaiN🎵

[@madambutterfly1997]

Explain to me again how the golden child is considered a victim

[@dnagraceless6212]

I'm so glad Annika was able to move on with no memory of the trauma she inflicted. That must be so nice for her.

[@kimberleymcmillan682]

1st story: bullies never remember what they did.

[@melodyswain2588]

2nd story with the food, as someone that is ServSafe certified, that food would be very unsafe to eat. Buffet food is some of the most dangerous food to save for another use, which is why venues need guest counts to avoid too much over production. Buffet food can only be held for a maximum of 6 hours and must be tempted every hour, maintaining a heat over 125F internal. Otherwise, bacteria can start growing. After 6 hours, the food has to be thrown out as it is a breeding ground for bacteria as it cools down. Not even to mention the mother doesn't seem like she hired a caterer, so we can't be sure how the food was thawed. Improper thawing is even more dangerous than cooling foods down. And also obviously the fact they definitely aren't taking temperatures or anything for guest safety.