S*x Work Thrives On Dissociation and Blocks Your Healing

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Unpopular opinion, but so-called “adult entertainment” could not exist if there weren’t a steady supply of people who were abused as children, and skilled at shutting themselves down emotionally so that other people could use them for “pleasure.” It’s one of many ways that manipulative people - or those they have manipulated - like to normalize an obviously demoralizing and harmful way of treating people. This industry isn’t just driven by trauma, it’s a bonfire of new trauma, and it can do mortal damage to a person’s ability to have close and committed relationships. In this video I respond to a woman who thinks she must choose between her gritty job, and her controlling boyfriend.
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[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

My new book RE-REGULATED comes out in October, but if you pre-order it now, I'll give you instant, exclusive access to my newest course, INNER POWER (a $160 value). Get all the details and pre-order here: bit.ly/3XiLsj2 And if you'd like to join our Members' Book Club (where we read books about CPTSD together, and will definitely be reading RE-REGULATED as soon as it's out) become a Member here: bit.ly/CCF-Membership

[@melaniemarloe9274]

Hi Anna, you are spot on for hammering home that 90% of strippers were sexually abused as children. I was a stripper in Boston's Combat Zone for 7 years from the age of 18 to 25 and yes I was sexually abused when I was 8. My entire adult life suffered with constant dissociation around feelings and people. Through mentors ( very important) who influenced me as a teenager, I later on at age 35 became a Registered Nurse and practiced for 28 years . I am 69 now and am writing my memoir and just now starting to heal from childhood sexual abuse and the ongoing sexual abuse and exploitation I experienced throughout my life. A lot of wasted time because of it, but with the time I have left here its going to be an amazing life! And I cannot wait!!

[@imaginenirvana]

Thank you for the reply to this. This gave me hope.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm excited for your next phase!

[@melaniemarloe9274]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I'll let you know if and when things take off with my memoir. I'm sober now so I tell my story differently! It's a fair story now but a truthful story!

[@sxwrtr918]

@@melaniemarloe9274 Ninety percent? I don't think so. I did anything and everything in adult, by choice, for 12 years in NY, L.A. and Vegas and I don't agree. Also worked in publishing with Larry Flynt's "Hustler," among other, normie book/magazine publishers. Good luck with the book! (Keep that 90% statistic in there...makes mainstream women who give it away for free feel better/superior about themselves, lol.) I've been chipping away at a humorous 'memoir' of my myriad adventures in the adult industry.

[@smcjohnson]

"give it away for free" sounds like internalized misogyny🤷

[@melaniegrace7707]

I love that you speak your opinions even when unpopular, and do it so respectfully. This is an important message many people need to hear!

[@Lincorn1]

EXACTLY

[@Hhej927]

!!!

[@Hhej927]

This!

[@GabrielleP310]

Under CAPITALISM, this is the byproduct: all forms of abuse, chronic financial stress, perversions, sickness, and a society with poor or non existing boundaries (physical/emotional/mental/psychological). Sex work is exploitation and it perpetuates rape/abuse culture.

[@hottie303ish]

Appreciate you!

[@margaretanderson6924]

Porn/"adult" industries couldn’t exist w/out abused & traumatized women. Thank you for calling it ❤

[@jordane8526]

That’s why there’s no help for survivors. The patriarchal shtshow we live in isn’t willing to let go of their precious 16yo runaway strippers.

[@ReneeB-mz9cx]

It might still exist but it would look a lot different - and all the clients who would want to buy would be rejected 😅

[@saltandpepperandmint]

@@ReneeB-mz9cxwrong. It would never exist if everyone was healthy/had Jesus in their hearts

[@elise2914]

And abused men and children, unfortunately.

[@ReneeB-mz9cx]

@@saltandpepperandmint Jesus people are the biggest producers and partakers.

[@buddyneher9359]

Thank you for consistently putting out the word that the sex ("adult") industry is bad news for humans. I'm also very happy to see numerous comments here from people attesting to that reality. The truth is getting out!

[@user-sb8fq2gn6u]

Sex work traumatized and alienated me for years after and I am still recovering. Thank you for speaking up about this. The rhetoric around sex work as empowering is dangerous.

[@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching]

I think because of the Dominatrix side of sex work. Illusions are there to keep compliance.

[@mariebrown5681]

Agreed. I can't stand the PC euphemism "sex work".

[@AxelVasa_freewizard]

@@mariebrown5681 Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great. Love you very much❤️

[@tabathaterry2998]

I think it's up to the person there is a lot of telling other people what to do or how to feel around sex work

[@sylviealexandris6696]

My heart goes out to Millie, I really get where she’s coming from❤❤❤ I also worked in the adult industry on and off for over 15 years. The vast majority of the women that I met had issues ranging from, codependency, daddy issues, being a single parents, being raised by single parents, issues with mothers, toxic family dynamics, poverty, sexual abuse and so much more. I would tell myself (and heard most women) say the we had the control because the clients were our choice. But we didn’t have control, it was an illusion we would tell our selves to get through the “job”. The reality is that it’s the men holding the money, and the money that has the power. Not us. If we had self worth we would not have done these things. The reality is that this career choice is short lived, we age, we gain weight, we lose the newness and innocence we one had. And then what are you left with? There are always exceptions but it’s not the norm. ❤❤❤

[@imaginenirvana]

Thank you for the reply to this.

[@AlvinKazu]

"I would tell myself (and heard most women) say the we had the control because the clients were our choice. " "But we didn’t have control, it was an illusion we would tell our selves to get through the “job”. The reality is that it’s the men holding the money, and the money that has the power. Not us. " I see this with OF girls these days. Selling their bodies for $4.99 a month, saying they are "Entrepreneurs," and "They don't need no man(fminism), but yet... They rely on the men paying for their OF Content. All the best to you.

[@sxwrtr918]

I hear what you're saying. But I had a great time in my 12 years in the industry. No abuse, Daddy issues, addictions, money problems or "accidents" to support. I CHOSE this lucrative occupation (never HAD to do it) for very concrete reasons, got what I wanted (fat stacks) and returned to normie land (sigh).

[@AxelVasa_freewizard]

Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great. Love you very much❤️

[@regularity2556]

​@@sxwrtr918well you are the exception, the majority of woman do not have a good time in the industry and i hope should you have the chance to influence a young girl, you dont encourage her down that path

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

Better off no relationship than a bad one..

[@stupidsquirrel12]

Thissss

[@sunetrasaha7467]

💯

[@dany8822]

Thank you for speaking this plainly and clearly. We've been bombarded with messaging that has normalised abuse.

[@5KAT]

I have worked at several rehab and dual diagnosis recovery centers and was initially surprised how the vast majority of women in treatment there had worked in the sex industry and how 99% had some sort of serious sexual abuse or notable adult inappropriate behavior as a child or youth (that they remembered). I agree completely with Anna that anyone with any type of CPTSD needs to take sex VERY seriously and engage very slowly and deliberately in order not to get seriously triggered.

[@angelaramsay1778]

100% agree. Being numb to that is a symptom of severe trauma. Its a form of self sacrifice. I wish all who are working in the industry big respect and love. x

[@cookie_dough_hangover]

Glamorizing it is so unfair to the victims and I hate to see a lot of young girls being persuaded that it's somehow liberating.

[@triplejmom7826]

Thank you for discussing this. There’s abusers & victims on both sides of this issue. Prayers for those who are suffering & struggling with this. Many of us look for love & acceptance in all the wrong places as well as avoid the people that would give this love to us 😢

[@clinicalpsychology326]

Thank you so much for saying this! We need more people shedding light on this! It's so important!!

[@jordane8526]

Thank you for being the voice of survivors. Sex work is inherently exploitative and very harmful

[@cynthiahoag2941]

OMG. Great letter. Could have been me. "Dulled" is numb, dissociated. I got married because I didn't think I could survive on my own. I got lucky. My husband was a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. I spent seven years in Al-Anon, the only place I learned about boundaries. I just became a Fairy member because I could no longer justify putting off any aspect of my healing. It costs no more than I would have given at Al-Anon meetings and is online, which suits my random work schedule. Prioritize yourself, shamelessly. You go, girl.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@AxelVasa_freewizard]

Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great. Love you very much❤️

[@trixjoyce]

I have this unpopular opinion too, because I've been there when I was younger. Thanks for speaking about things that are normalized when it shouldn't be. Sure, there are always exceptions to the rules, there can exist s*x workers who want to do just that and are not traumatized, but I would argue that it is just that: the exception to the rule.

[@trixjoyce]

@@sweetsirenaine You know exactly what I mean and no I don't have twitter.

[@trixjoyce]

@@sweetsirenaine I'm autistic too! Maybe was interpreting your question wrong... Sorry if that was the case! I don't mean a literal rule, I mean that the majority of s*x workers aren't healthy even though some in a minority might be. That's what I meant with my comment. Idk about twitter since it's not a big thing here in Sweden...

[@elaineb7065]

People act like adult work is a choice, when it's not. They act as if the people (mostly women) who do it are trash human beings instead of the desperate, traumatised people they really are. I know because I was there for a short time, & knew people who were there for a longer time. I was lucky enough to get out early. I also saw at least two others who also escaped it & got better lives. I hope everybody in it can get out & heal xxx

[@trixjoyce]

@@elaineb7065 I indeed agree. I don’t see these people as trash humans because I was there myself as well… You’re right that many act like it’s a choice, like WHO THE HECK WOULD CHOOSE THAT?!?! I’m in the process of healing this and my other trauma. I hope you heal as well. xx

[@sxwrtr918]

@@elaineb7065 I was one if those 'exceptions for 12 years.' Knew several others who were as well. It was indeed a very deliberate and utilitarian choice for us. Made our great money, paid for college, bought property, started businesses, created healthy savings/investment portfolios. We were not victims, addicts or screw-ups either before or after our stints in the industry.

[@rachelgalus]

Things can seem like truth even when they’re not. Thank you for refusing to lie to women even if it’s counter culture ❤😢

[@lovelover4408]

WOW. Yes!!! Mad respect for you for talking about this. They (sw’s) even talk about how they need to disassociate, how they take drugs and abuse alcohol to do this “work.” P1mp propaganda has ruined the rhetoric around this topic

[@CrawlingPOA]

This brought up strong emotions for me. I had a guy who knew I was sexually assaulted try to convince me to do an OF. He tried to date me and wanted us to do it together. I'm glad I blocked him and never talked to him again. I shiver to think what would have become of me, especially since I was struggling with my mental state and financials at the time.

[@marte1376]

Lol how lazy, he wanted to be your pimp 😂, the audacity. Ladies if you ever do these kind of jobs, don't allow any man your money, that's even more exploitative than those who "buy" your content or services

[@DarlingsDomain]

​@@marte1376this is what they do. They get you to do it for them give it to them like it's you're idea and then hold your job against you

[@AlvinKazu]

All the best to you... I don't get guys who would allow their gf/wife to be naked for other men.

[@AlvinKazu]

​ @marte1376 "that's even more exploitative than those who "buy" your content or services" So you're saying that men paying for a service, is somehow exploiting the women who put that service out there? What......? Kind of backwards thought process is that....? It's actually the complete opposite. These women are exploiting young, vulnerable men who are desperate for attention and validation. This is why twitch girls are so big. They play the fake online gf for these sad men. Yeah, girls making 1 million dollars a month are somehow being exploited by young loney vrgin men... 😆!? Crazy.

[@cookie_dough_hangover]

Good for you for not letting him control you like that. You are strong. ❤

[@janeyrevanescence12]

I watched an episode of Forensic Files with my uncle shortly before his death (he was a retired ADA). It involved a woman who accidentally killed her fiancé in a car accident she caused. She was legally intoxicated so she was sent to prison for several years. After she was paroled, she told her family she got a job as a housekeeper. In reality, she became an escort (probably because she couldn't find a good paying job with the conviction on her record). Someone decided to call her in order to rob her. She fought back but ended up getting killed as a result. When the episode finished, my uncle looked at me and said "I don't care what people say. Sex work is not work. It's not worth your sense of integrity or your life."

[@AlvinKazu]

The premise of "Someone decided to call her in order to rob her." Could apply to literally any job, and this doesn't really make an argument for or against SW. The issues stem from the shadiness around it. It's the same with any "black market" item. drgs as well. If drgs weren't illegal, we wouldn't have such craziness with people going to illegal substances, even though there are videos of BC Canada, where it's legal apparently, and people are zombies.

[@jupiterscorner5423]

Trouble Brewing? S13, E7 I will watch it now

[@janeyrevanescence12]

@@jupiterscorner5423 I think it might’ve been that one. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it

[@ZodiaKittyKat]

Oh its definitely work. Other than that he's totally correct. We have a schedule just like everyone else and other things on our mind as every one else does with stressful jobs. But all intense "career choices" comes with the risk of your life. People wouldn't say that about a police officer.

[@wtsdwr6751]

This is one of the most important topics for our society today. It doesn't pertain to me directly, but I think it's very detrimental psychologically to anybody who's involved with it at all. You are doing excellent work!

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

I'm glad Millie wrote to you. The woman I like has abandonment issues, and I am trying to understand how to show her love. I didn't and don't understand how she grew up. We don't have intimate talks about her feelings. I do have strong feelings for her and want her safe and happy. I don't want her used by boyfriends, and I can see it happening. I read about borderline personality disorders, and she is on that path. Good luck to Millie.

[@nazcarcup]

I understand where this woman is coming from. I also understand the need to control out of pure fear of abandonment. I'm hurt and traumatized AF from years of multiple forms of abuse.

[@mariebrown5681]

The phrase "sex work" is nothing more than a PC euphemism. Years ago, I had been a prostitute on the street, and it wasn't a "job", and I wasn't "empowered". I got involved in prostitution due to my abusive childhood; I'd been repeatedly molested when I was a young girl, from age six until I turned 11. There's nothing job-like or ”empowering" about being sexually exploited. It's not right to think it's normal for a woman to be bought and sold as if she were a pack of cigarettes or a pair of shoes.

[@bellamango6708]

i feel you on the autoimmune issues. I've had to resort to sex work a few times recently and im not happy at all about it. if its that or being homeless I know what is less traumatic for me and I am working on building an independent business that i can set the hours. modern work does not freaking work if you have anything even slightly off about your body or needs

[@ahsokaventriss3268]

I feel you. I also have chronic health problems, and sex work has been the only feasible way to keep a roof over my head, food on the table, and care for my son. It also gives me more time for my son, as he is special needs. To be honest, being part of the working poor feels much more degrading to me. Working 60 hours week, no time for friends or family, and it’s still not enough $$$ to pay the bills. Good luck to you; I know how hard it is.

[@ootenba5910]

Good luck to the both of you & totally get that choice ❤️‍🩹 May stabler / abundant times find you soon!

[@bellamango6708]

thank you guys for the kind words 😢 I just feel a pit in my stomach even if it was just private video sent to someone I know. my fiance and I have moved to where I don't have to pay rent so I can actually breathe and work on jewelry to sell more, the guilt of not contributing enough honestly was hard to come to terms with. both bad health from long covid/autoimmune from trauma (lol) and bad local job market. I'm in a much cheaper area now with a loving friend who just asks for housework in return and I at least can do that

[@mrs.ogbuagu]

How many excuses is there for making bad choices? You should feel bad and ashamed about prostitution. It’s inexcusable. You can have sex but not get a job ? Bloodclat.

[@_Plumtree_]

This is hard for me to hear because reasons. But I'm throwing a thumbs-up on the video because I appreciate that you express an unpopular view in a compassionate way. I'm over 60 and am just beginning to be able to unravel the ways childhood trauma has affected my life, including the impact on my sexual behavior over the years. You've given me much to think about.

[@ReneeB-mz9cx]

I'm so glad youre speaking on this! Real feminism! I'm going to subscribe again.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We're so happy to have you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@AlvinKazu]

"fminism" was created to destroy women, and this is the result. Girls giving themselves away like it's nothing, as it's "Empowering," a society of women who are unhappy and hate everything.

[@robertbenedek4463]

It's cool that Anna questions and calls out therapists. There ARE bad therapists, there ARE therapists with personality disorders and so on. 12 Years in therapy??? Twelve? It sounds rather like a codependent relationship. If you listen to people who are active therapists, often you have the impression they are in reality very sick people. Finding a good hearted, competent, moral, experienced therapist can be an absolute game changer in life.

[@amymccormick6568]

I grew up poor, thats why i became a stripper at 19, and did so until mid 20s. I have never been sexually abused, but simply couldnt live on minimum wage as a young adult. I never had sex for money, never was trafficked, and did ok for what it was. I was able to pay for an associates degree with cash, that got me out of doing that kind of work, i was able to pay my rent and bills while going to school, didnt have to stress about work and got good sleep at night. I got shamed a lot by people though. I had a boyfriend who was financially supported by his mom and they were constantly belittling me and making me feel like trash. I think i did what i needed to do, and dont blame others who have to do it. I have also tried selling plasma before. That was far more degrading than stripping. I would vomit profusely, get bruised and gaslit by employees at the places that i was over exaggerating or i must have done something wrong, all for a few bucks. That really feels like you are selling your body. That sucks

[@avantgardensupply]

Fuck yes.

[@AxelVasa_freewizard]

@@avantgardensupply Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. Love you very much❤️

[@thelastpityparty4425]

Two things can be true at the same time ❤

[@flyingburito-ng8jw]

❤

[@deathmetalpotato]

@@AxelVasa_freewizardwhat the fuck? drugs aren’t good for you, either. get help before it’s too late.

[@arlocharlieluna2345]

This is so important, thank you❤

[@Limonesdecharla24]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@jacksonc2737]

Thank you for this. I have been saying it for years and people don’t want to hear the truth

[@healingv1sion]

I feel so bad for this new generation of children that have parents in this "industry" in this time where everything is on the internet forever and everyone will have access to this material.

[@ReneeB-mz9cx]

True tho I feel way worse for kids who are the content. Like just family blogs

[@marte1376]

Funny how you never judge the ones that consume it. That's misogynistic, the ones that consume this content are men. Why are they never mentioned?

[@soniafaye9919]

@@ReneeB-mz9cx WORD

[@AlvinKazu]

@@ReneeB-mz9cx Yeah, I try to block and remove channels from my feed/shorts that are "Family oriented," and their channel is about their boring lives. These kids have no privacy, and it's just a sick narcissistic fantasy of these 'parents." the ONLY ones I can see being okay are the homestead/country families, such as Bellerina Farms who I've followed for awhile. I loved the interactions she had with her children while cooking. The thing is, she's not focusing on the children in negative way, but she has to take care of the children while doing it. She also lets them help with cooking, so it's wholesome family fun.

[@sandramulthauf2159]

You are so right and I admire you for telling the truth! Please keep speaking the truth! Women need the truth! Not life threatening diseases and harm.

[@theresacane6564]

Anna, you are like the fairy godmother I wish I had. The way you handle controversial topics with such honesty, compassion and grace is inspiring. I hope to be as kind and wise in my future.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

What a kind thing to say. Thank you.

[@katamadordelvalle7972]

Some women, who are the majority of sex workers, have difficulty finding work that pays well due to our mental health challenges. Not to mention that we didn't learn financial literacy from our parents. It helps some of them reach financial independence. Our basic physical needs come before our emotional ones.

[@sxwrtr918]

@@katamadordelvalle7972 Speak for yourself. Easy transition for me, after 12 great years in adult, and for others I've known in the industry. No damage, addiction, trauma, yada, yada. Plenty out there who have never set foot in adult who are train wrecks.

[@googleuser-ei2wd]

The victims lack the sense of self respect and dignity. Which was take away from them very early in life and they were missing the support, mental and emotional maturity to establish a self love, respect and dignity towards themselves. And most likely they feel like they deserve to be treated this way since nobody really cares about them anyway. A total distorted sense of self love.

[@ReneeB-mz9cx]

Everyone still has a sense of dignity. They dont lack it. Maybe they have an extra covering where they act like they dont care, but it's still there

[@nazcarcup]

Wow. I needed to see this. I'm a GUY who yes, does that.......kind of work for women and a lot of gay men. I also just had a very short-lived (and enmeshed) relationship end 12 days ago and I haven't gotten over it.

[@Okay182]

Thank you ❤any time I did something overtly sexual in my youth it was a result from trauma. It’s crazy

[@nataliabogdanova2816]

I can agree that SW can be damaging and that mostly already traumatized people get involved in this type of work. However, I think it would be fair to see the whole societal- economical situation so many people dealing with nowadays. You said there are opportunities and other options - actually it is very much depends on your luck and overall health. The author of the letter mentioned she can’t handle full-time job because of the health problems. Also, it’s not guaranteed that the “normal” job doesn’t have a toxic environment! On top of that if we’re speaking about people living in US - you can’t ignore the fact how inaccessible medical help is for so many (especially traumatized) people. Again, I don’t say SW is a good work to choose (if you even have a choice) , but in situations many are living in - SW can actually provide opportunities (like paying for school etc..). And stigmatization (if it’s even necessary) - how about stigmatize whose who buys and not those who sells?… 🤷‍♀️

[@YamileYemoonyah]

It’s not the lack of opportunities. There are plenty if you know about them. And that’s what’s really missing. The knowledge that there are other options.

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

Abusers teach people that their bodies and adult sexuality are disgusting and wrong.

[@soniafaye9919]

@@YamileYemoonyah I think many women don't believe they can earn better/as good/easy money while conforming to a regular work environment.

[@julieann376]

Doesn’t it seem like this guy wanted her because she was a stripper? He wanted to be the “savior” by controlling her and changing her in a way he couldn’t with his mother. Just guessing here, but everything he said was all about him.

[@gigidayz6936]

I worked in this industry, for a bit and when I took a big step back and REALLY looked at it (and within) I realized the correlation between it and my extreme childhood trauma.

[@idiomaxiom]

the big one is BPD. brothel work is basically self-medication for the condition. It give validation, self harm, emotional ups and downs, all sorts of release, and financial independence, all on an erratic schedule without judgement. The worker gets to put on a persona for the shift and put it away at the end. You have relationship instability problems? How about 12 relationships in one night, really really scratches that itch for novelty. scratches the hypersexuality itch too. yay now you can afford to go home be safe, and you are stable enough for DBT therapy. Its not sex work that breaks these women, safe work is almost their only possible home. their 'real' home broke them completely before six years of age. Almost nobody wants to actually put up with them long enough for them to get stable and get help. Without sex work, they'd die a lot sooner than the average expectancy of 27.

[@mobilityproject3485]

Yay. So wonderful. Keep yourself on an IV of mental junk food to stay alive for another couple years. And make 10 or more children that have to live like you in the process. Honestly, if you need to fill your abandonment wounds, politics is a much better way to do what you're trying to do than the brothel. You get a group of people who consistently believe the same thing and support each other in its name. They are stable. You can express a persona while you're fundraising, canvassing, or running for local office. And you get to be a good citizen, rather than a creator of more trauma.

[@Borat_Sagdiy3v]

I can say from self experience that “sex workers” who are renting a supposedly safe room out in a brothel may not have such a short life expectancy compared to the classic street walkers, but even if they’re still physically alive past 27 their spirit is dead and rotten the moment they exchange their sexuality for currency.

[@sonja_rademacher]

Thanks for pointing that out. 20 years ago I tried to tell people, but they would say that the women like it, so they do the "job". Made me sad and angry that they didn't want to face the truth.

[@fatemeetsluck]

Capitalism and patriarchy. We're all selling our bodies to narcissists who leech off of our labor one way or another sadly. The entire world is traumatized it seems because the idea that human life is only valuable inasmuch as it makes the rich even richer seems alien to what human existence is really about. I am not a sex worker but I come from a long line of generational trauma and poverty that has manifested itself in other ways besides SW, and my search for answers has led me to a critical material analysis of history, geopolitics, and economics.

[@anthonylfrye7922]

I agree full heartedly. Abused women have lost self esteem to the point that because of early introduction to sex on a less mutually attracted or romantic level, become desensitized and actually more removed from the intention of respect and intimacy. But because that feeling of being cared for, it becomes a search for validation from men by sexual pleasure. The issue that it becomes financially very lucrative, and a familiar and automatic process. Unfortunately because it is so frequently used the desensitized emotions overcome the reward of pleasure,, and it quickly becomes a real awareness that the men that are attracted are less than morally or respectfully participating, but are using and degrading the woman which is more recognition that the woman is not being validated at all. Love is a true validation when expressed with respect and honor to each partner. When financial gain is incorporated the loss of intimacy becomes amplified and the desensitized emotional response is reflected from both sides. The woman feels disrepected and used, while the man sees the opportunity to take advantage and abuse. Hardly any validation that the woman subconsciously had been seeking. Having worked with both sides of this equation it is a terrible scenario of money, substances, and degradation. I work with 12 step programs. There is help, and the circle can be broken. It is something that one needs to devote to, healing and learning starts by accepting things aren't working, and it must be your choice to do for yourself! There is no success if this is done for someone else, to win their approval or love. It is having the courage to admit life has become out of control, and it requires self examination, and accepting our own responsibilities in the consequences. There is a wonderful life after recovery . It may be hard to start, but you will find you are not alone, and others can show the rewards. I wish all the very best in their efforts.

[@CC-cw8wu]

I’m not sure if the letter writer is reading the comments but I want her to look into Uber and Lyft. It was how I escaped having to side hustle at s clubs. There are other ride shares like Spark Driver and Doordash if you don’t want to have someone in your car too. Doing s work ruined every relationship I tried to have till I got hired for an airline and walked away for good.

[@TessJordan-lp5sc]

I do my best to be an open-minded person, but I've never been comfortable with "adult entertainment", because as you say, it's allowing people to use others in ways that are demoralizing. People cry for sex work to be legal and normal, but I can't agree with normalizing the systematic "use" of damaged people, no matter how much they say it's by their own consent. It is possible to exploit consenting adults by targeting their vulnerability.

[@tdesq.2463]

🎯🎯🎯

[@ktmggg]

The two sentences that stand out: "I'm six years sober" "He smokes a lot of weed and is high 24/7" Regardless of any other issues in this letter, a sober person involved with an obvious weed addict - who doesn't want to quit - is a major deal breaker. Otherwise he's another trauma issue she has to deal with.

[@vanessamonroe1917]

I think sex work feels normal to people who were SAed in Childhood. It makes me sad. 😞

[@soniafaye9919]

it is the world's oldest profession

[@EQ-dc8tq]

Nope it doesn’t , takes decades to get to that point cause not even sex with someone you trust feels normal when raped as a child. I hate this.

[@sanashams7836]

Thank you, Anna, for speaking truth to power.

[@launderedcotton8070]

Promiscuity in general, for free, is often based in the same traumas imho.

[@soniafaye9919]

I don't know if that is the issue Anna's getting at: there's a big big added layer when the act is completely transactional. The power dynamic shifts immensely.

[@AxelVasa_freewizard]

Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, The more you love yourself, the more you choose to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Love you very much❤️

[@Lincorn1]

thank you so much.. coming out with a strong stance against it. Its so hard for people who get influenced to discern between healthy and unhealthy behaviours.. especially when they call sex work empowering and healthy. like DUH ofcourse they would say such things, they dont want to look at their issues. and people feel good about feeling inflated about themselves and call that confidence. Thats a real addiction among humans.

[@ReneeB-mz9cx]

Female Chauvinist Pigs on Audible or paperback has an amazing and much deeper explanation for why women do these things

[@NEbluefire]

I'm listening to this and I'm still in the process so I'm going to have quite a bit more to say, but THIS is what this guy is like on weed???! My next observation is going to be this, because I know what it is to have been thoroughly conned by somebody who is fabricating all or most of their existence: unless she has seen him with this little girl herself with her own two eyes, I would not believe that he sees his daughter, spends time with his daughter, he may not even have a daughter. This is a man who went that extra mile to tell you that he is OK with you stripping, waited until he thought he had you hooked, and did an abusive 180. If you don't think that a man like that, would lie about there even being a child, then you don't know this type of guy very well. I may be back. I'm not so sure that what I have to say shouldn't go into my own book.

[@sxwrtr918]

Love the insight, wisdom and gentle humour on your channel❤️. I was a high-end call girl/"dancer"/adult-film actress/live video performer (on precursors to OF) for 12 years during the '90s and early 2000s. Previous to that I was a freelance writer and staff editor with Larry Flynt's Hustler Magazine. I understand the premise that the industry is a repository for broken women (men as well). And yes, I've seen many, from the confused and lost, to addicts, to the attention- and love-starved. However, there are those like myself for whom it was all business. Period. It was not about phantom empowerment or being cool. We had a plan, a goal, such as paying for college, buying property, starting a business or just building a solid savings/investment portfolio. We were not abused, not addicts, not screw-ups, not victims. We were in the driver's seat of our own lives. I and most of my industry friends had degrees, paid for by working in the industry (eliminating any pesky debt, another hallmark of the traumatised, as I've heard you often say). I could go on and on about tbis subject, but suffice it to say we all now have our money, careers/businesses, homes and partners/husbands. I don't have kids as hubby and I simply have no need or desire for them.

[@LauraBeckerReal]

Thank you for pushing back on this, Anna.

[@angeronalove5799]

I'm in my 50s now, so I don't mind sharing a much earlier experience from my life. I danced in a strip club in college. I remember being terrified to do it, but then, when I went on stage, no one could touch me. It was the first time in my life I felt safe. No one could touch me! I couldn't believe it! Overall, that kind of work does wear one down, and I will never forget how healing and amazing it was to feel safe for the first time in my life. It's no small thing. It was hard to leave it, but I knew it was not a long-term, viable option. Hugs to all women out there trying to find their way in that industry. You aren't" broken" or "damaged goods" -- you just hurt. Help is available to get through it. You deserve support, compassion and kindness, not chastising or denigration.

[@NocturnalMissSoLostInSpace]

As an LGBTQ woman who used to be involved in the BDSM world, I agree. And I say that as someone who's always been s3x positive and supports s3x workers as human beings, since it's a very dangerous job for them. But what's frustrating is the lack of accountability from the customers, who create the demand for all of this. Many folks are also in denial about how common incest is, and that most children are abused by folks in their own families, or friends of the family. More folks than ever are also severely addicted to adult media, especially more violent types. Will you be doing a video on the other side of the coin, as far as all the customers, and the PTSD they create in those they exploit?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I answer letters from members of the community who want my help with their own issues. I have expressed my views about many things along the way, including when I respond to male letter writers about their struggles. Tellingly, people;le who disagree with me -- particularly on this video -- resort to vicious personal attacks. You will not see their comments here.

[@NocturnalMissSoLostInSpace]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I understand. I'm newer to your channel, so I wasn't sure how you do every video. I didn't realize it was all from the letters you get. Thank you for clarifying.

[@mobilityproject3485]

I love the courage you have shown to accept the evidence of your eyes and ears.

[@katyjean862]

This is so important. Thank you for being so BRAVE as usual, Anna, to speak the truth in defense of women, even when it's unpopular. Women need this information.

[@mindonthespirit1543]

LOVE AND HUGS SENT TO MILLY. YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. ❤ This is coming from a guy who at first supported the work 🤔

[@sleepygoblin87]

Just wondering where you get your info & statistics on sex work.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

There's A LOT online. Search "sex work and dissociation" or "sex work and mental health"

[@JamesSavik]

Men too. In the 70s, when I was a teen, we knew nothing about kiddie porn. At 14, I was recruited by an "artist" as a "model." He explained that he took pictures so he could paint from them. He paid me two hundred dollars, and wanted me to come back. It made me feel weird, and I could tell he was a creep, so I didn't do it again. I've heard they still bust pervs with my pictures.

[@13darkjems]

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with sw being *inherently* degrading, at least any more than any other job people on my socioeconomic level can easily get. I am curious if the correlation between high victimization in early childhood and sex work can be equally explained by the correlation between victimization and poverty?

[@abbie9489]

bingo. I personally see it as inherently degrading, but I think the framing of the connection between victimization and poverty is more helpful and less personal than the way the abuse statistics are framed in the video. like yeah, poor people are traumatized. and traumatized people are poor. and we're here because that's not something to be ashamed of

[@mrs.ogbuagu]

You are so disconnected to reality. I don’t blame your generation. There’s no hope anymore. Y’all so lost.

[@13darkjems]

@@mrs.ogbuagu Just because you believe something strongly does not make it objective reality. Your patronizing tone does not lend you the authority you feel entitled to. I have antidotal experiences with sexwork that tells me it is not always harmful, I assume you have antidotal evidence it sometimes is. I have sympathy for your expressed hopelessness. I feel that way too sometimes.

[@mrs.ogbuagu]

@@13darkjems i don’t “believe something strongly” it’s called REALITY, but you already rejected reality, so we can never communicate. hence, hopelessness. Your welcome back into reality whenever, but on the contrary don’t ever expect people like me to follow you down the warped “truth”

[@13darkjems]

@@mrs.ogbuagu the videos on your channel lead me to believe you are actually suffering from delusions. I hope you find help. 🙏

[@Echidna7095]

Louise Perry's book The case against the sexual revolution discusses this issue in a couple of chapters in a powerful (and sometimes distressing) way

[@JennyNobody]

I think that how really missed the mark on this for me is this: I see the issue as more of a societal problem and not a problem with being in SW in general. Further stigmatizing the work and summing up as "only viable because of traumatized people dissociating" doesn't help - saying that SW shouldn't exist is what the predators in the industry rely on so SWs dont get the accommodation and actualization from society that they need to thrive in society. SW hasn't taken anything from me, it's given me freedom and helped me discover and learn how uphold my own boundaries at all costs - heck it brought me to you and figuring out CPTSD in the first place. You could argue therapists give just as much of themselves by having to listen to trauma from their clients, same with any customer service rep who gets told to KYS and the like by dissatisfied customers. How does one survive those jobs without some sort of "loss of self" and "dissociation?" The difference in why we see the burden as acceptable there is stigma. Anyways, that's just my take as a married SW of over a decade. Take care, you've been incredibly helpful but I dont feel safe here as an SW anymore.

[@C12341]

Your experience is rare. Read more about it at Nordic Model Now. It’s a true experience, but there are millions of women not having it and who basically have no ability to change their life and get out and are preyed upon. It dramatically changes how men see women. view it as a form of slavery and coercion of vulnerable people and you don’t negate the sufferings of millions because you’re able to do what you do with autonomy and a loving marriage.

[@regularity2556]

Why are you so triggered by a different opinion? Are you sure you are as empowered as you say, If so, maybe you wouldn't be needing CCFs validation in your choices.

[@Missgraciesweet]

Thank you so much @jennynobody. Your experience reflects mine. For any other SW folks who have been blindsided by this truly disparaging take on a difficult subject, I recommend Pineapple Support to get connected to therapists who respect us and what we do. I'm thankful to have a therapist who is understanding and supportive of all of the incredible positive changes SW has brought to my life and personal growth.

[@moonmaiden4197]

We are all selling ourselves under capitalism. I agree the stigma does nothing but hurt SWers. I don’t think it will ever go away, though. Even with how popular and mainstream only fans has become it will always be looked down upon. We don’t know how the lives of these only fans girls and guys will turn out. We are living in a social experiment and the end results will come in about 20 -30 years. Hopefully after the machine spots them out they will have a savings and be able to retire , or at least get another job. But speaking from experience, it’s hard to find a job after online SW.

[@kaylee7518]

Supporting others is also having the ability to pinpoint harmful behavior. Those two can coexist. It’s apparent SW is harmful to the human psyche, but that doesn’t negate the support we should extend to all those in SW.

[@MrCurlz]

Would you do a video about men who use such services? It's worth to mention that it is often close to impossible for an average guy to find a satisfying (if any) female partner, so many use that services just to be able to have simple basic intimacy experience. It seems unfair to blame men who have no other way of achieving that - even potentially harming their already obviously fragile personalities/ego. I get that if you're one of "those" men (vilified, also - even if for a reason) than obvious recommendation would be to go to the therapy, but therapy success could take years - not to mention that summing up frequency, medication and time off work therapy is more expensive than adult services of any kind. (Also english is not my native language and I don't live in an english-speaking country so I may described some things a bit weird)

[@mrs.ogbuagu]

Perverts. Simple. Dont make excuses. Most these men are married what are you talking about. Be abstinent until you find a wife. Why does every man want to be playboy.

[@joelbedulla4]

I absolutely respect that you speak against sex work and hookup culture/one night stands while being very educated and open-minded on the topic. It's a careful balance I truly admire!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you. I appreciate your support.

[@SnoriSnorison]

Childhood Fairy, I am grateful that you've said this. As a Wiccan, my belief system embraces sex as powerful, spiritual, wholesome and restorative. It should be free, and fun, and fair. BUT in the clinical setting of Women's Health, where I've spent the last 25 years, it is plain to observe that patients who are involved in sex work are almost always coming from a history of abuse and victimization. These women have been broken and have never mended. Their speech, behavior, affect--- it paints their past across a visible canvas. It's almost like a bruise.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, I've seen that.

[@DMKarinZeeland]

The movie Suckerpunch is about dissociation and sex work, it illustrates exactly what you are saying. I have some professional experience with sex work from the perspective of public regulation and safety and I can also say that there is a lot of dissociation and mental issues among customers as well. It's an unhealthy environment for healing

[@asiancavemanr7657]

i wish everyone love and happieness in this life

[@manometras]

What you said about sex-workers should be made known to everyone because it is so true.

[@Aryasol19]

Thank youu for talking about this ❤

[@vanessamonroe1917]

I wonder if most of the men who use sex workers have unresolved sexual childhood trauma. Do you have any info on that Anna?

[@soniafaye9919]

it IS the world's oldest profession, and its not going anywhere, nor are the men who perpetuate this. It is a level of hell.

[@sashahemmingwayy]

They do. there’s also studies done on men that watch p*rn and say it’s very damaging to their brain.

[@AxelVasa_freewizard]

Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, The more you love yourself, the more you choose to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Love you very much❤️

[@babaganouche9605]

Anna you are correct. Those who work in the sex industry should not be shamed or devalued, but this is not a line of work that is empowering. Are their exceptions? Probably, but as you said the majority of those in the industry are in it out of desperation, addiction, abuse or coercion. They live with people disrespecting, humiliating and debasing them regularly.

[@kburns2470]

Haven't watched yet but felt the need to quickly leave a comment. Thank you for challenging the dominant narrative on this stuff, good on you. It's also encouraging to see the support you're getting in the comments. Money or any other sort of resources should never be exchanging hands in order for a sexual encounter to happen. Both people should want it to happen, and if they do they wouldn't need to be compensated for it. I'd go farther than that and say sexual encounters should only ever be happening if we can feel good about them and ourselves before, during, and after them, which entails that we care about that person and they care about us and there is mutual respect. Ideally and realistically, this is probably almost always going to be in the context of committed relationships, but I'll allow the possibility for exceptions. So this isn't about prudery or whatever else real feminists will get accused of here, it's about healthy standards and boundaries, it's about recognizing how important we and our bodies are, no matter the gas-lighting "sex work is empowering" rhetoric we get from our current culture. EDIT: Editing to add that I've nothing against prudery!

[@kburns2470]

KZbin tells me there's a reply to this comment but when I click on it to read the rest I can't see it anymore. Maybe that means the poster deleted it, Idk. Anyway, that's why I can't reply to whatever was said, sorry.

[@dalila3398]

This is true. Some people say "it's just sex" but I noticed that my sexual thoughts gets more violent and harmful to myself when I am overwhelmed and dysregulated, trauma wnd sexuality can be connected.

[@lsmithgoose]

I really appreciatiate you broaching this difficult topic. I am what I would call a sex positive feminist, or perhaps was, is. I know personally how my worth was shaped by 2 groomers who created my perspective of romance, relationships and sex and it followed me and still does now. I have never pursued SW though but can see how many would if they also based their worth in it like I did. But I know as I entered healthy relationships I had a battle with myself over working out what I enjoy versus what I was conditioned to and forced to do, and there are some blurred lines esp as they were formative experiences, all my first sexual experiences of every variety were coerced and/or forced, a lot of shame and confusion in that journey, that I still am on in parts. I have had my fair share of "reclaiming" experiences as well as subconsciously reenacting, retraumatising myself as punishment or through shame or compulsion etc. Also because the SA lets be honest overlapped with fear, dangers and also feelings of love there are a lot of crossed wires. But I have to ask where these stats are from regarding DID and BPD? I absolutely believe sex work would have a higher percentage of people with these as part of their lives, but 1/3 and was it 50% seems a bit OTT, the source and how the studies were conducted are vital for this. If we researched military or prison service, or drug dealers or drug traffickers or if we looked into other "jobs" what would we find? Sex work includes OF and strip club workers, escorts, phone and cam workers, people on the streets too there is a huge range there and this is why I mentioned other jobs with shady legality, well I mean no legality, there is often overlap in who may end up a drug dealer or a sex worker to some extents due to their childhood, safety, environment and opportunities etc. BPD is overdiagnosed in women due to misogyny and I wonder how many young men locked up for drug related crimes would also fit the bill. Though we are socialised differently (cultural norms have a lot to answer for). It horrifies me what has become "normal" now in p*rn and thus influencing zoomers and the younger gens into what is typical. They're experiencing choking, slapping, hair pulling, an*l and rough oral as normal now on first experiences with one another sans conversations beforehand, or the violence towards women and treating of us as ragdolls, objects, has always been a problem but has got worse. Now porn sites are filled with homemade amateur content, OF overriding what was traditionally the Hollywood very plasticky looking women and sanitised environments, the "p*rn star" is not the typical now. Its largely very rough and violent content and is often very young women in it. I am sure many think they are empowered, but I just can envision people like my abusive exes calling the shots. People can like what they like, and its very difficult for me now to try to pull apart my submissive ways s*xually and try to feel empowered, it makes me wary when a man wants to be violent, why? Or why a woman wants to experience that? I have to ask my own self why. My partner is not a violent man and is a very good man, but my exes werent and they got off on power and hurting me, seeing me in fear. I am terrified for younger people now as its so normalised. My partner is 40 and I am 31, I am grateful he bypassed this era of p*rn, in his formative years he wasnt exposed to this extreme of things, not on the frequency anyway. Its a low bar, such a low bar. I have been the one guiding things rougher and hes been hesitant cause he doesnt want to hurt me and he knows my history and its very hard for him and me. But i am grateful to have someone who I completely trust for my journey of figuring this out. I understand why people would pursue SW to experience these things, to keep a distance from the risk and fear of relationships. To empower themselves, to reclaim. I also see why for some it will be where they see their worth, or if they were guided thar way. Or a combination like my journey outside of SW. Also these jobs bring the risk of abuse and you are used by someone perhaps who sees you as not a person, but other jobs have this too in different formats. Under capitalism there is exploitation all round. We also have to recognise nuance for example with OF, the flexibility of hours worked, being your own boss in a sense, not having coworkers or having to travel etc. There are a lot of benefits to this, and this may disproportionately suit, say someone with BPD who may find it harder than others to work in a traditional environment outside of this. There is so much nuance to this. I dont have "the" answers and I do totally appreciate your video and bravery in posting it, as it is a hard to broach topic. But I am very skeptical of those two stats and am wary of their inclusion and how they have swayed your overall thinking

[@ZodiaKittyKat]

I was SAed almost everyday by my dead fathers father for 11 years straight. I did online sex work in my mid 20s to 30s and did pretty well with it. I agree with many things said here but not all. Its takes a certain caliber of human to do this work that is actually fairly high demand right now. Ive worked with a multitude of people, from the most heinously abused that are at rock bottom, to unabused high end escorts thriving at what they do that treat their line of work as an executive would their own job. It does take all kinds to do this work. Yes, it IS work. The normal burdens of everyday are there as with even the most menial of career choices. Im not exactly sure why tho, everyone is giving accolades about doing this video and bringing up a "sensitive topic". It shouldnt be a sensitive topic at all as all of us are the result of some sort of sex worker getting pregnant at some juncture, and the praise should be given to those that have lived to tell the tale, not the ernest opinion of an online psych (even if their opinions are hitting the nail on the head). Theres a lot of comments here that are super performative and people still arent getting it when it comes to this topic. Forced sex work and voluntary sex work exists and shouldnt be categorized in the same way either, i will just add that. I would say about 80% of people doing sex work are at the lowest low. 10% do enjoy it, and about another 10% are highly successful and made names for themselves in this arena, and if thats how they want to spend their lives making their fortunes, good for them (i couldnt). I respect my time as a sex worker and became fullly burntout on it by the time i was done. I had learned a great deal about my sexuality and kinks during that time, why they came to be, how they were either attached to my abuse or also the core of who i actually am, and was surprised by the answers i was seeking. Sex work is HARD WORK. But those that feel they dont deserve better, putting their sexual and mental health at risk, involving themselves in high rish behavior settings, there definitely is something going on there connected to abuse. You could totally errdicate abuse and sex work would still happen as humanity has yet to get beyond that phase of its development. Its not always a trauma symptom but when it is its very apparent. It taught me how to not put up with anyones shit ever, how to call people out on their shit when necessary, and gave me the voice and strength to go and actually get sex workers in need off the street and employed in other lines of work eventually. It can make you hard, or soften you. It can make you vulnerable or engage you to develop a voice for others in vulnerable positions. It depends on the soul connected to the work. Its nice to see it being spoken about. While its been so normalized now (as it should be for a multitude of reasons not only bc there will possibly always be sex work, yet to expose those making the most money from the vulnerable they get to do it for them), it is weird to see how folks are twisting it to make it always seem like its so empowering. Its not an empowering thing for many. And i do see young girls gravitating to it right now in a power move. Whats difficult to see is how their are about to taint their innocence in order to work out their yet unrevealed issues. So lets talk about this more often and get it out there. Its a huge part of life we are totally skipping all together and it does need recognized. Remember, the only reason its a sensitive topic is bc people keep making it a sensitive topic. Destigmatize so we can open up the conversations we need to have about it.

[@user-qt6pc9se5d]

You are just incredible Ana ❤

[@fatcatpaulanne4800]

Can you please shar a link to that 90% study that you mentioned?

[@AxelVasa_freewizard]

Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, The more you love yourself, the more you choose to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Love you very much❤️

[@multilingualmind778]

to the author of the letter - please try ACA, NA promises only freedom from active addiction, doesn´t help people who grew up in a mess. no, you don´t have a difficult choice between being a striper and the love of your life. being a striper is not just a job and this guy is sick down to the bone, not the love of your life. both things just are a failed attemt to fill the void. for us, fatherless daugthers no amount of men is enough, that´s the bad news, the good news is that you can fill this void in a more meaningful way. to Anna - thank you for your brilliant insights on this difficult topic and for being with us! btw you look beautiful, in black, in white, in red, in green, in blue,in flowers, in everything:)

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@oathoracle9950]

as someone who spent two years dancing and very much believe sx work IS work and deserves to be respected and have friends in the industry... I also agree with this message and had to dissociate in order to do my job, when I was already primarily dissociated . but I am grateful for the resources I got at that time which I did use to support my healing. and some dental work and laser eye surgery lol

[@mrs.ogbuagu]

Living in the richest country in the world, 21st century with freedom and liberty unlimited but turn to stripping. The west is Dead.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

BPD person here (plus early trauma and CPTSD, chronic anxiety, OCD, AvPD and depression), and I have never experienced SA, but my dad was an alcoholic since I was age 4 to 14, and he was emotionally abusive to my mum and absent a lot, even when he was home. Due to the BPD, my relationships have been long term but volatile (for the first several years anyway), but overall loving, happy and affectionate, as well as emotionally intimate. With undertones of my "disorganised" attachment style (anxious / avoidant). Despite this, I feel like I never really developed a sexual interest in anyone. I have no connection between me and my body / anything related to sexuality. Thus, for many years I've done casual adult work (nude modelling, fetish videos online, sexting, financial domination, etc) as I simply feel nothing about it. I just want the money. Anything I do does not feel sexual to me, even though it is to the people paying. My body does not feel "sacred" or "private". I don't care. I also can't relate to people who have a natural interest in and enjoyment from sex. I have zero, and the only thing I can think about is "Why would I do anything like that for free??"

[@AmiyaD1611]

Thank you for speaking up about this despite it being a unpopular opinion nowadays In my personal experience I am shocked that when I was 13 I decided that my dream job would be to work in the p*rn industry. I was in a relationship when I turned 18 so it didn‘t happen but a few years later on I got so close to making an OnlyFans or just earn money through SW bc I had somewhat of a prn and sx addiction. I am so glad that some force in the universe stopped me and that‘s also when my repressed childhood trauma bubbled up and it all made sense… I was devastated I truly thought that my supposed sxual liberation was empowerment. No, it all stemmed from trauma. This all made me do a 180 and landed me in complete celibacy for years and even to this day I am still so scared of engaging with people intimately. It used to be a place that made me feel free and where I could let go and now it feels like a dissociative nightmare. I must also add though that last year I started to engage more in the kink community and realized that so many people there are amazing and well meaning and put safety, fun and consent on top. I still haven‘t engaged intimately with anyone but I did learn what actual sxual empowerment means there and that especially as a woman I have choice and can set my boundaries and dictate the pace. So this has been helpful

[@serengeti4027]

beautiful comment and story. i'm happy you were able to find and maintain your peace. you've come this far.... surely instead of engaging with this community you want to complete your journey and attempt to find real/true love in a long term partner? if the kink community is what makes you happy then obviously go for it, but yeah, just wondering?

[@AmiyaD1611]

@@serengeti4027 well finding real true love and being part of the kink community are not mutually exclusive? I don‘t think it‘s that black and white. There are many people there that have been happily married for many years. But I get what you mean my ‚end goal‘ in life is to have a house somewhere in nature where I have my own garden and create my own herbal medicines and just live a slow life, even if I have to do it alone and even if that means I‘ll be celibate for the rest of my life lol also not sure I was able to find and maintain my peace. I feel safe when I am alone in nature, but 95% of interactions with people and the outside world are just exhausting and disregulating hence I am living more in my avoidant safe bubble. With my financial struggles I could have easily gone down that road again these past few years but I decided to opt for the governmental help and I am now getting insurance benefits because of health issues and bc I cannot work a full time job. With or without a love relationship my main journey is wanting to be of service and useful to this world, but I feel like I am unable to use my gifts and fully build a life also sry if that last part was a bit to whiny…

[@mheartshape6817]

having sex with other can never be a profession!

[@axhed]

i've been told i make it quite a chore.

[@peach411]

I agree! It’s horrible . It’s not empowerment.

[@MarianaSantos1974]

It's not an opinion, dissociation makes it feel like it's an opinion. If it were empowering why don't you make an union, an investment fund, a council? If it's empowering make it an institution. Institutions cannot be built on dissociation 🙏🏻 #savesoil

[@KSprague2024]

Yes!!!! This is so true!! Thank you for saying it!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@AxelVasa_freewizard]

Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, The more you love yourself, the more you choose to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Love you very much❤️

[@stephanieb663]

Every pimp knows wat she's saying is true

[@ark194]

I agree...but God forbid I say that to others. I was close to becoming a stripper, but I could not get myself to go into the door for an interview. I had a gut feeling that if I went in, I would never be the same again...and I am so glad I listened to my gut. Also, I was abused.

[@ZIMMI6969]

Spot on 😢😢❤

[@LilByrdFly2]

I definitely did very well online modeling and I was the one playing on men, I did deal with some sickos and My brother crushed me when I told him I was selling myself for extra money,He said He was PROUD OF ME FOR BEING A SURVIVOR!!!!!!

[@mrs.ogbuagu]

You played yourself.

[@LilByrdFly2]

@@mrs.ogbuagu hmmmm? 🤔

[@reginapapadopoulou4611]

Very interesting topic thank you

[@LilByrdFly2]

Traditional men don't smoke pot 24/7

[@cammercook3210]

Thank you for saying this❤

[@Amy-lw1tj]

Thanks for saying it!

[@AlwaysLime]

This reminds me of the movie Redeeming Love. 😩

[@rainmariesmith]

You are right!

[@abbie9489]

Uhh, you were pretty mean to her! I agree that sex work isn't empowering, and is usually incredibly damaging to most women's mental health. I love your channel and every other stance you've taken on various issues, but what I make of this is that you're leaning more towards shaming her than having compassion for what would lead a woman to these circumstances. I really think you should have been nicer. I even think you can try again. This feels more like alienating Millie than tough love. Millie, if you're reading this, I hope you're feeling okay, and that man does not deserve a moment more of your time. He has already been harmful to you and his behaviors are really likely to escalate into some sort of physical abuse. I hope you have some friends in your life, maybe even outside of the sex work industry, that you can be honest with, and who can be honest with you, and that you can work together to uncover whatever life path would best suit your gifts and promote happiness and stability in your life. Love your channel Crappy Childhood Fairy, hope you don't get mad at me, but it's really important that love doesn't get so tough that it alienates somebody in a really vulnerable situation.

[@mraquel7]

Totally agree!

[@Doodlefisher]

Good views and discernment!