S1E5: Boss is Calling Me Whilst my Family Member is Dying

[@pompommania]

After my dog passed away, my manager send me a wind chime to remember him by every time the wind would move it. Her own money. He was the center of my world, but to her it was just a dog. She still managed to be a human being to me.

[@nikolayberry-smith6409]

It’s really sad compare dog to human being….

[@genrottluff1084]

@@nikolayberry-smith6409 Obviously you have never had a dog you cared for nor one that cared for you. It's really sad that you lack empathy for a fellow human being. It is widely known fact that losing a pet is similar to losing a child or other loved family member.

[@FoggyPigeon]

​@@nikolayberry-smith6409 What's really sad is that you felt the need to write that...

[@RickCaldwellvoluntaryist]

​@nikolayberry-smith6409 what's really TRULY sad is your reading comprehension skills. OP did not compare the dog to a human being. The post said the manager behaved like a human being in regard to the employee who lost a cherished dog.

[@ZOOTSUITBEATNICK1]

@@nikolayberry-smith6409 Sorry for you luck, being empathy-deficient.

[@gemstone9417]

A pity this company couldn't be named and shamed. Disgusting behaviour. Pleased he's thriving now.

[@Michael-qt4rm]

My wife was dying of cancer and I was working as a general manager for a company and she was about to die at any time and I asked my district manager if I could work less hours and literally said to me that I am killing him and I said my wife's freaking dying what would you do. Then after she died it was about a month later and he said he was going to take the gloves off and literally went after my management style and I was fired a little bit later. He was terrible. This was in 2004 and I have never forgotten about it. I will never work for a company like that again or a manager like that

[@reneeladouceur]

How horrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[@gemini_interests]

You have my Sympathies. May your wife rest in peace.

[@jayceoldacre9702]

I had similar when wife died at 29, I put my job before her health, kind of unofficially forced to take that decision and wife encouraged me to to make that decision not wanting to be a burden on me, not that she ever was. An unfortunately it's a decision I regret for the rest of my life. Unfortunately in the job I was and still am in I don't have an option to quit without giving 12 months notice and kind of had no real choice in the matter. But yrs later I'm left without her and a job that still doesn't appreciate you. Obviously being older n wiser, it's always clearer in hindsight.

[@thedewberry_6399]

Thats horrific, I am so sorry you had to deal with that ridiculous bullshit during that time.

[@sagetusk]

​@@jayceoldacre9702I'm sorry for what you went through, but surely a 12 month notice period isn't legal? Best regards

[@jerseybob4471]

Many years ago, I worked for a big company. My father passed away suddenly. I called my boss and set out for Baltimore to be with my mom. The next morning, two managers from our Baltimore office visited my Mom offering their assistance. A simple act of kindness. Cost little but bought tons of loyalty. I was with the company for 37 years and never forgot.

[@jgibbs651]

My friend had a late miscarriage at 21 weeks - ghastly business, she nearly died. Her work was kept informed, told she'd lost the baby, etc. She was released from the hospital next day on the Saturday afternoon to go and stay with her mum. Going back to her flat on the Monday to get some clothes, etc, there was a message left on her ansaphone that morning from her boss asking when she'd be back at work. She called them and said the hospital had signed her off for at least 2 weeks, and they asked if she could go in that afternoon "just to go through the post and sort a few things out". She worked for the Roman Catholic Church.

[@misssophie7717]

Sounds about right. Religion is the biggest hypocritical scam, responsible for more slaughter than anything else on the planet.

[@lorianabanana6066]

Not surprised at all. My family is very Catholic and I have alot of family who worked for the church or were even clergy. The people are (usually) good- but the institution is awful and will do anything that it sees as benefical for it. They'll leave you to die in the street over minimal amounts of money or their (already tarnished) reputation.

[@lauchlanguddy1004]

they are the absolute WORST. ask me. Part of the dark forces. never ever again

[@noniousxltruffles7454]

She expected them to act in a Christian manner? More fool her - and you.

[@reinelantz3304]

Disgusting. I’m Catholic.

[@sammyfromsydney]

If someone I care about passes and my job gets threatened I will offer my resignation on the spot, and deal with the fallout. There ought to be criminal charges for abusing your position as an employer that way.

[@alliedatheistalliance6776]

That is absolutely understandable, but if you're willing to walk away anyway you could call their bluff and ask for partnership in the company. If they're so reliant on you they need to pull this shit, chances are that firing is a bluff. If you have equity in the company, then you have a literal investment. Otherwise it's just a paycheck, and there's probably a better paycheck out there. Don't ask me to work like a founder if I'm not even a shareholder.

[@stevemichael8458]

As an employer manager I have had staff who have been unlucky enough to go through members of their families being seriously ill and in some cases dying. In every case my immediate response has been "Is there anything we can do? Go and take as much time as you need to do whatever you need to do." I can't believe human beings can not do this. These are probably the same companies who told you at your interview that "We're all one happy family here."! I've also been unlucky enough to be the one in that situation but was fortunate enough to be working for decent people who said the same.

[@bradfordlass83]

A job will replace you in a heartbeat. Family can't be replaced. Well done Adam for taking a stance against these psychos and so glad you see thriving

[@DMG380]

He didn't take a stance though. He caved in and he was thanked for putting the company first before his grieving family. He consistently put the company first from the beginning of the story. He left after he let his boss screw his whole family over.

[@tomarmstrong3800]

This is actually shocking, I can't believe that there really are companies out there with managers like this. So happy he's doing well now!

[@Ben-Askins]

Likewise, he is a top bloke.

[@kikidevine694]

I was told by the CEO of a company I was working for that I had to delay my embryo transfer because it clashed with a company away day. Basically a bus trip to Harrogate.

[@cynthiamickle1521]

I have had a director and two vice presidents who were evil like this. I find women bosses are meaner than male bosses. My son and his wife delivered a child who had a life-threatening condition and was told I couldn't leave. (From Canada to Pennsylvania.) When my father-in-law was dying, I could not leave. (I missed it )I was a Labour and Delivery Nurse manager and these women were all nurses. Kill me.

[@catherine2268]

I know people who have been fired via text while they were in hospital

[@MadCatLady28]

I've had a manager show up to my house with work when I'd just been released from dental surgery.

[@menow7903]

When my brother was dying I was told I had to attend the office Xmas party as our clients were going to be there. I thought that was the worst thing in the world and left soon after but Adam's story was on a whole other level.

[@sandihill669]

I worked for a ‘trade union for management’ and we had an advice line so that member companies could ring up and get ad hoc advice. This HR guy rang and said that one of their employees had taken and been paid for pregnancy time off. However her baby had been still born and so really had no need for the extra money she had received! So he asked what forms did they need to retrieve the pregnancy payments she had received!!!!! My boss nearly got in her car to throttle him. She told him forcibly he would be better engaged in seeing what the company could do to help her. She also enquired what had caused him to take up HR as a career. She was of course being sarcastic. She also knew the directors of the company and said she was going to talk to them about suitable and appropriate training for HR as she thought it needed to be updated!!!!

[@HotForgeChaos]

What a heartless pillock

[@darrencrosbie-rowlands2167]

I was 19 years old and was a trainee manager in retail. Working in Manchester in 1996 and was caught up in the IRA bombing, things were a mess. Minutes after the actual explosion, police ran into our shop and said, we think we have another bomb 20 metres away you need to evacuate now. The manager got all the customers and staff sorted and i called our area manager Mr John Teale (not afraid to use his name at all) and the first words out of his mouth were "how much money have you taken?" No hint of concern for any staff or customers, didnt ask if we needed anything, his first thought was money.

[@amorning2878]

I know you left your comment 2 months ago, but I just wanted to empathize with how terrified you must have been (thank goodness you’re all right!) and to shake my head at how ludicrous business types are; I remember hearing a psychologist say that after giving a talk on psychopathy, business people swarmed him asking how they could hire just that sort of person - it’s exactly what they want - money is more important to them than living people. What empty lives people like your boss must have, and what horrid damage they do to the rest of us.

[@darrencrosbie-rowlands2167]

@@amorning2878 thank you so much for your reply it is greatly appreciated

[@chrisdonnellyofficial]

What an absolutely heartbreaking story, I'm so glad that he's now happily working for himself, he deserves nothing more!

[@Ben-Askins]

Couldn't agree more

[@jenbug1988]

Stories like this make me thankful I have the manager I do. When my grandfather was on end of life care I left to go to him without even thinking about work called my manager on the way who told me not to worry about work and just update her if/when I could. He passed away a few days later I was at his bedside. When I came home I tried to go into work thinking I could. I walked in and someone asked me if I was ok and I immediately burst into tears despite thinking I could manage. My manager came in and didn't hesitate telling me to go home and take a proper break until I was happy to come back. She only texted/called me to check on how I was no mention of when I was coming back to work just asking how I was more as a concerned friend than my manager. Full sick pay from my employer so no worry about loss of wages. I realise I am very very lucky.

[@MunchKing51]

What kind of sociopath threatens somebody's job for not coming in the day after his sister's funeral? How can you go through life thinking that is an acceptable way of handling that situation? FFS

[@thecaptainsnark]

literally sociopathic. These people don't even seem to grasp the fact that it's wildly inappropriate to behave this way.

[@CowToes]

Old white men.

[@IggyTheBalrog]

They needed him so much they threatened to fire him like... make it make sense...

[@alberttogl]

It's well known that people that thrive in management roles in companies are mostly of psychopathic and sociopathic tendencies. Also they are egocentric kuntz with god complexes.

[@Bertie_Ahern]

People vote Tory, so I think it's fair to suggest most will willingly accept (and promote) literally any form of enslavement or servitude

[@travelwell6049]

My current workplace gives us 5 paid days for bereavement if an immediate family member dies. I took all five days when my Grandmother died during Covid. I lost an Auntie to Covid and I used some of my annual leave days, which they were really good about letting me take a short notice. Just human empathy and being supportive, it’s a shame not everyone is capable of that

[@DAndyLord]

A work buddy of mine lost her brother suddenly a couple months ago. She called work crying. The dispatcher immediately gave her (paid) leave even though he couldn't understand what she was saying.

[@andyme3541]

@@DAndyLord because he was a human being with empathy and realised 'If she is in this state... she needs the time whatever the problem is'

[@gregorymacdonald252]

The day of my mom's funeral my 2 bosses called me on speaker phone screaming at each other trying to get me to pick a side so they could end their argument. I had just buried my mom and they're expecting me to deal with their BS unbelievable. Needless to say I quit that office job shortly after.

[@reneeladouceur]

Poor guy! I had a boss deny my request for time off for my father's funeral and to be with family. Legally, employees have the right to take a day off to attend the funeral of a close family member. Since the funeral was on the other side of the country, I needed a few days. I honestly did not think she would deny my request, so I advised her that I was going anyway. Didn't lose my job over it, but it was still a jarring experience.

[@jasondyrkacz8270]

If she had denied it and fired you, you had a decently winnable lawsuit.

[@DellikkilleD]

your mistake was phrasing it as a request. you never request, you simply inform them.

[@keanancupido]

How far down humanity has fallen for a business to take away all human emotions. I'm so happy he's found something new with his wife and that he still has a smile on his face!

[@kathymytton7466]

On a positive note... When my dad died unexpectedly way back in 1983 my manager was fantastic. I worked for social services, he covered for me for three weeks and didn't tell his bosses I was absent. The time he granted 10:16 enabled me to process what had happened and I was able to offer my mum as much support as I could. I'll never forget him for that and he got a loyal and hard working colleague in return.

[@kathrynmast916]

My brother was in a horrible car accident and had major abdominal surgery. The doctors gave him a 10% chance of survival. I spent the night holding a vigil with my parents, his wife and son. Early the next day, I went home for a short rest and to clean up. I stopped by my office to check on things and inform my supervisor of the situation. I told him I was heading back to hospital. He asked me why and he wanted me to stay at work because “I couldn’t do anything at the hospital”. I was dumbfounded and reply, “I can just be there.” At which point I left and didn’t come back for several days. When I did return to work, he never asked about my brother’s condition and acted like nothing happened. Thankful, my brother did recover.

[@rayaee]

How cold of him! I doubt he would've asked that stupid @%$ question if he was in your shoes! I'm glad your brother is ok too. Family can't ever be replaced which is what these jobs fail to understand

[@jimwoodford3984]

This company needs to be named and shamed. That's inhuman behaviour

[@ladynea]

"thank you for putting the company first" OMG! the self control this man had not to call his boss every name in the book is admirable. I wouldn't be able to do that in a situation like that.

[@kaninma7237]

And companies tend to put shareholders and personal profit first, squeezing the workers as hard as they can. Utter garbage institutions.

[@bcase5328]

Some bosses and owners no longer need to be in business.

[@slider799]

They often don't stay in business the people who can leave do (eg the stronger employees) leaving only the weak ones. One this occurs in a company it often can never recover and losses money slowly.

[@hollywalker3726]

I was fortunate with the job I currently have. My aunt was hospitalized on October 2, 2024. We didn't find out until October 12. By October 17, she was dying. I had to leave that night to drive 900 miles with my mom to say goodbye to her. My boss understood and gave me the leave I needed. I am also a college student and my teachers were amazingly supportive as well. On our way back, she died. The next morning I was hospitalized for 10 days. My boss not only gave me the leave I needed, she allowed me to take the rest of the semester off to focus on my schoolwork so I could get through the semester. Being gone so much made it difficult so their support was invaluable. Appreciate the bosses that are wonderful.

[@beckyferguson284]

My father passed away around 6am in the morning I rang my boss to inform them I won't be into work and she said I'll see you tomorrow, so I then had to ring the next day to say I won't be in, and she said I'll see you tomorrow again, I was grieving so didn't say anything, so I rand the next morning which was a Friday to say the funeral is Monday and she said I'll see you Tuesday, I went to work Tuesday and left about an hour in as I couldn't stop bursting into tears. The worse experience ever.

[@Sam-ql4ze]

I've been lucky. My uncle passed and I found out on the phone with a client. We were expecting it as he was in hospice. My work offered for me to go home. My grandma passed last year and my work told me to take the week after I updated my cases with my manager. There are some good companies out there that treat their people as humans.

[@stephaniebarrett6921]

I got fired when my dad passed and my boss said I had to cover my classes first..

[@Rickettsia505]

​typical.

[@demondogmom7221]

There are so many totally heartless inhumane managers, at all levels.

[@demondogmom7221]

I worked for some lovely people in my (very long) " career". One of them, I'd put in vacation time for the week my daughter was getting her tonsils out. My director found out, called me into his office and informed me I was taking paid sick leave, not vacation. If I needed more than 5 days, I was to take whatever I needed. A client director (I was contracting) found out my father was dying and I was working my day and then driving an hour to spend the evening with my father (he was on home hospice) until midnight... then driving home. He called the company I contracted through and told them what was going on and demanded they "make" me take time off. They did. I told him and he cried and said "thank god." I toss these out to remind myself good management exists.

[@CammieRacing]

It's incredible to hear how...unhuman some MD's/bosses can be... how do they go home and when their other half asks 'how was your day, what happened?' they proudly say 'yeah our best guy thought he could take a few days off for the death of his sister, I put a stop to that'.

[@Ben-Askins]

Yeah I agree, it is wild

[@theravenousrabbit3671]

Always have enough "Fuck you" money in the bank. It has saved me so many times when bosses act like this. Every single work place I've been at I've become integral to whatever function I fulfill, and whenever they start acting crazy I remind them "I have enough money in the bank to not work for decades. You either stop acting hysterical or I am leaving right now." Sure, it won't win you any favors, but the freedom it gives you is amazing.

[@lisawintler-cox1641]

@@theravenousrabbit3671 Being rich, or being to fake being rich, helps? No, never, I won't believe it.

[@kathydurow6814]

​@lisawintler-cox1641 Sarcasm, right? Having money or assets behind you, so you're not financially dependent on someone else, is always useful. In a job, or in a marriage. It gives you options if things go bad & you need to get out rather than leaving you trapped. And knowing your inate worth means you know there is something better out there for you, either situation. Where you can choose your peace & mental health over abuse.

[@borgmardunkleson2225]

​@kathydurow6814 Tell me you give bad advice without telling me you give bad advice. Not everyone has the means or knowledge to have enough money to not work for 1-30 years.

[@CheerfulArmadillo-id1ez]

Mate, my heart goes out to you. I was given a final written warning for going to my dad's funeral. Thankfully I was part of an effective union and I got it removed and a written apology. The manager didn't speak to me for months....oh dear what a pity how sad😂

[@Greenplanet949]

We all need to be in unions

[@HuntingForHannah]

Shockingly, this is more common than you would think, I lost my dad at 16 and was only allowed one day off. I stayed two more years but only because I had no other option. So glad this guy jumped ship and started his own business. ❤😢

[@morganseppy5180]

I had to quit to take care of everything after my mom died. Ppl don't get it.

[@pollyoneil7862]

I lost my mum when I was just 17 with cancer. I was in my first office job as a very innocent, naive girl. I took a day off for her funeral and a day to recover with my devastated family. On my return I was summoned to the Personnel Officer and told off for having two days. Ive never forgotten his unkindness and I’m now 75.

[@cobramom3]

I feel for this man completely, I worked for a large American laboratory provider and my aunt passed away when I let my supervisor know that I would be taking three days off to go to the next state for her funeral, I was a trainer for phlebotomist in clients offices, and I had no new clients scheduled, and it should not have been a big deal, but my supervisor told me I was not allowed to take days off and asked me why my family had not planned the death better. I was an absolute shock and asked my supervisor exactly how my family was supposed to plan my aunts unforeseen death, to which she had no response but needless to say, I was in no position to lose my job and had to miss my aunt’s funeral, I was the only family member not there. I did find a new job and was able to get myself in a more secure financial position so if that situation or any other situation ever came up, I I would be able to walk away and not put my family in a hard place financially if I ever needed to stand my ground and put my family first.

[@stephn987]

Wow! This made me quite emotional. What a great guy ! I’m so glad it had a happy ending. Good luck to him!

[@seanjennings20]

Been a fan of yours on tik tok for a while now and glad I’ve never worked under people like this. I’ve been at a family run company for 11 years now and have had health problems with my partner over the last few years and my boss has always been brilliant with letting me have time off. Even at times at the drop of a hat and they have got someone in from an agency to cover and never pestered me back to work. Always said just let me know when you are coming back in. I said to him last year thanks for everything they have done for me they have been brilliant and he said hey all I’ve done is give you time. Which I said that’s all I needed though and not all employers would be willing to give it.

[@faerefolke]

My God! That's just awful! I'm so glad he left that mess, and he's doing better.

[@AudreyLMcFarland]

Adam, I cheered when you said you left shortly afterwards Good job! and I wish you all the best... and, even though it is years after the passing of your nephew and your sister, a) it sounds like you and your family are amazing, b) my deepest condolences for your (and family's) loss. Wishing you all the best

[@travelsports2791]

Absolutely shocking hope they get what’s coming to them - thanks for sharing glad new company going well

[@maciejchoromanski1302]

Whenever I struggle at the beginning of my self employed journey stories like this gives me strength and motivation to never ever be in the shoes of this man.

[@RickCaldwellvoluntaryist]

Employer: "We're really struggling without you." Also employer: "You're fired if you don't return tomorrow." Me: "If you were struggling so hard without me for one day that you will fire me tomorrow, doesn't that mean you will struggle without me until someone fills my shoes at my same level? One of those things is not true."

[@Finch1412]

Excellent point 👏🏻 You gotta wonder whether it was all more a control thing for the boss than about how the company was doing

[@lindastuart2458]

I can relate to this somewhat. Had a Manager that told me I couldn’t leave work to be with my sick mom in the hospital. I lost any respect for the guy after his jerk move. When she passed, another manager told me to take all the time I needed and to come back when I was ready.

[@thetruesimplegrid]

This an example of why I’ll never answer phone calls and always have communication written in text instead.

[@iu1191]

Amazing call. Amazing caller. So happy for him. So degusted by how he was treated! Trying to find the surprise - can't find it!

[@b34rdy]

That chairman would have got told "see you later then" if he did threatened me with my job for a loved ones funeral.

[@lloyd9819]

Genuinely. I would have to take regular mental health breaks if I listened to there stories day in day out. I really do hope he's taking care of himself.

[@mattlenton2012]

This is becoming a really good channel.

[@jackywhite880]

Retired now - for years. But over 40 years of employment, so many managers and supervisors who barely qualified as human beings. "If you're interring your grandfather at 2.00 pm, can you be back here by 3.00???" I've encountered bosses who were simply unbelievable. In fact I felt sorry for some of them. How DAMAGED are such people???

[@ditzycarley8997]

The disrespect is unreal in how they treated that employee 🫣

[@n8nate]

The poor, poor bloke. What a terrible time he's had. Im so relieved that he's finally happy.

[@carlfromtheoc1788]

I am not management, but I am the dude that is never sick and is always there, and I have no family. Teammates and bosses have had to dip out suddenly for major family illnesses or deaths, and my response has always been “Take care of business.” Once our 4-person team was down to two for about 3 weeks and we never missed a beat. Management had the same attitude.

[@mariangeerling2950]

Adam, please accept my deepest condolences for the loss of your nephew and your sister. Your boss was a sociopath! WTAF!?!? While listening to Adam, I was completely gobsmacked, flabbergasted and horrified!! I had just begun a job as a cashier at a large box store when my much beloved ex-mother-in-law passed. When I called to let them know I wouldn't be in and why, I was ORDERED to take my 2 week's bereavement leave and was sent a huge flower arrangement to my home to offer their condolences. This is how Adam's boss SHOULD have handled it. I had divorced my husband years before so she was technically not family anymore and I made that clear. They still sent me on my leave and we're surprisingly compassionate about my children's grandmother's passing. That was 2006 and it still touches my heart when I think about it.

[@vintagebabyseventythree6244]

My father was in the final stages of renal failure and my coordinator asked me how long did I think it was going to take for him to die so he could organise the roster.

[@trisblackshaw1640]

Jesus...🤬

[@happycook6737]

😱😭

[@martinadams5893]

When my mam died, my brother rang me, I was a delivery driver away from my base, I rang my boss she said “ do you want me to come for you? “ I got back , she gave me a big hug and let me know when you will be back. Thank you.

[@DavidBreuls]

So glad you have this channel. I see myself in some of these stories. Great to hear that despite some horrible things happening to this man and his family that they have moved on and he is happy. I wish him all the best!

[@Ginger57]

I was at work when my dad told my my grandmother(Alzheimers) was very close to the end. He needed me 100 miles away. I told my boss the situation. She literally said to me, "You can't go. She not dead yet" This woman was a widowed pastor's wife and a pastor herself. Just a shell if a human. I regret to this day that I didn't eloquently tell her off and leave. I was shocked. I wasn't an employee. I was company property. My dad is still alive and is soon moving in with me for his remaining years 🧡

[@Inasafespot]

Had a manager who told a teenage worker that her family was not more important than her part time job. This was when her brother was rushed to hospital about a month after she had taken a day off work because another brother was in hospital, both brothers have a fatal disease that could take them at any moment. Manager just rolled her eyes at me when I reminded her of it, saying that family is not more important than a job. Was so glad when the coworker was able to quit and start her own very successful business before she was out of her teens and at least one of the brothers has received the gift of new lungs. Same manager punished me by making me work every weekend for five weeks because I needed a day off to take my child to the cardiologist. Yes she ended up being given the choice of resigning or being fired.

[@DrSanjuro]

A friend of mine interviewed actor Alan Alda who has been teaching medical doctors improv skills to build up empathy and sensitivity to improve doctor/patient relations and “bedside manner.” I think there’s an obvious application to managers and supervisers.

[@stephanosuk78]

Adam I'm so sorry for your loss. I wouldn't have left, I would have been a sleeper cell in that company, quietly destroying it from within.

[@morganseppy5180]

He was, that's what makes it so senseless. He prepped his team so well that they shooed him out. But the boss was used to his hotline.

[@glados4765]

Companies will say all day long how "we're a family" to try and guilt trip you into doing things you shouldn't or getting you to look the other way. However the second, anything is flipped, they could care less about you. There is no reason to try at a job anymore, just do the minimum according to your description. Companies do not care about you.

[@trisblackshaw1640]

So true. If they were really 'your family', they'd show you the same empathy and support that any solid family would. Yet, as you say, if your problem gets in their way, then you're nothing but a pawn to them. It's so so sad.

[@FahadAyaz]

I can tell you're an American by your "could care less" 😂 But yeah, completely agree. It's not been as common in my roles here in the UK (not sure if other industries still use that phrase). Last year we had a manager who used that phrase and my colleague and I agreed how slimy and corporate America it felt 😬

[@gameplaygirl3268]

As much as I hated my old job, I can't fault them. When my partner died I was given 4 weeks compassionate leave and then 6 months sick pay on full pay and then returned back on a phased return. My manager didn't really get in contact with me, which annoyed me a bit, but looking back she was just trying to let me grieve.

[@Rickettsia505]

Wow!

[@jessdully3348]

This cannot have been in the US

[@pmull6784]

A friend of mine at work almost 20 years ago now died after a long illness. I'd known him most of my life and he's the one who got me the job. My boss told me she'd get coverage for me so I could go to his wake, but she did nothing. I arranged my own coverage and went to the wake. When I got there, my boss came up to me and said, "What are you doing here?" I will never forgive her...

[@travelwell6049]

Sounds like my previous line manager who is also my Dad. Incapable of being able to see past one task. ie. He wants to know what’s happening with work and can’t hear or process any information outside of the answer he’s looking for.

[@bojkenoven]

When I was working in a previous role, I was ignoring some early warning signs of stress and pushed on. Out of nowhere, just after food I had extremely severe abdominal pain which landed me in hospital. Doctor's couldn't figure out what was happening. I naturally notified my work that I wasn't coming in due to hospital and I told them I wasn't sure when I'd return. After the first night, my boss messages me asking if I can return to the office. No consideration on if I'm still unwell. Just wanted to know when I'm returning. I spent 5 days in hospital. Nobody from work (who knew I was in hospital) came to visit.

[@SereneColeman]

The amount of psychopaths in Management roles is truly terrifying.

[@Greenplanet949]

They are in top gov jobs as well. That’s why we are in such a state. This sort of behavior is heavily rewarded.

[@KeplersDream]

Back in the early 2000s, in my Civil Service days, I was busy in the office when I got a call that my fiancée had been taken to hospital. She was visiting family in Birmingham and the hospital she’d gone to I was unfamiliar with. I told my HEO and without another word he not only told me to sign out immediately and go, he arranged full directions to get there AND arranged a collection from the team for travel fares (money wasn’t particularly great then). They almost literally were pushing me out the door, like “Why are you still here? Go, ffs!” I was also given a week leave and told not to go back until she was well again (which she was, thankfully). They literally couldn’t do enough for us. Now listening to the caller in comparison, my jaw was on the floor.

[@sheilaf1946]

And don't forget, folks, whenever a company constantly tells its employees you're all one big family, it's generally a load of BS.

[@AlreadyAway]

I went to work less than 12 hours after my twin brother died. I need to move to process things. it's not the most healthy, I know, but it's what i need to do. My boss, the owner of the company, kept trying to give me time off to process. But, ultimately, gave me the choice to work or not work. That's the important bit. I had the choice.

[@cxmachu]

I’ve been lucky I guess whenever something has happened my bosses have been cool about me taking whatever time I needed. My dad died late last year and I live cross country..soon as I told my job they told me “take all the time you need” and even sent me a bouquet of flowers sending their deepest condolences for my loss. My experience should be the norm not the exception.

[@StijnHommes]

This is shocking! I guess I should consider myself lucky. I have NEVER had a manager that treats people this badly when someone was dying.

[@paulakitching1814]

When my granddaughter of 7days passed away i was rung at 8pm at night by my drunk manager.and told ".i dont care about your dead granddaughter " i need you here

[@tlmitchell15]

OMG! That is awful, I'm so sorry you had to endure that. And, I'm sorry for your family's loss.

[@paulakitching1814]

@@tlmitchell15 thank you x

[@tricia9559]

@@paulakitching1814 you poor love. To lose your precious, beautiful granddaughter is beyond words, then deal with that C**P, all I can say is I’m so sorry

[@paulakitching1814]

@@tricia9559 thank you x

[@abdullahiahmed2805]

Love your answers after reading the scenarios

[@xJeanMichelNoirx]

I uncovered abuse at a supported living house. I went on leave and they sent me an email saying that they were sorry to have received my verbal resignation. There is a lot to the story, but long story short, I had a solicitor on my house insurance, I kept copies of all communication and took them to cleaners. I got two years of wages, but I was never compensated for the stress.

[@melissamora3728]

It’s unfortunate that this happens more often than it should. In 2020 my grandmother passed the weeks before Christmas. My grandfather passed 4 months later and 2 months later my uncle passed from cancer. My mother becoming nearly sick because she couldn’t handle losing her parents and brother. I took some time to help her. When I came back I was told from my manger that she had a business to run and couldn’t deal with me taken days off anymore. She later reported me to HR because she believed I was lying and on top of that she told all the other managers the same thing. I was lucky that one of the managers told me what was being said and to expect a meeting with HR. It was the worst 6 months of my life and then I had to worry about my job being on the line because of my manger. I left later that year.

[@ambrabridges2161]

When my mom passed away, my step-sister called me at work to let me know. I went to the manager, told her what was going on and that I was leaving. The manager asked when the funeral would be held. My family is spread out over multiple states so I told her probably Saturday or Sunday so everyone can get to where my mom lived. My manager said, since I only had three bereavement days, I could work until Thursday or Friday (this was on a Tuesday and I wasn't even halfway through my shift yet) then drive home for the funeral. It's at least a ten hour drive from where I live to where my parents live. I told her that wasn't going to happen because I needed to get some things done before I left and I was in no shape to be working. I ended up taking PTO, along with the bereavement days, as well as a couple of unpaid days when I got back before returning to work.

[@mariewraight4969]

Not the same, but I’d had a miscarriage. A few months later I found out I was pregnant again. I got really sick, I was very dehydrated etc, I couldn’t swallow my own spit without throwing up. I was told I couldn’t take a day off work for morning sickness, even though i was unable to eat/drink. I went into work and collapsed in the staff toilets because I was so dehydrated. I was found and taken to the office, and I imagined I’d get first aid and possibly even an ambulance at that point. I was actually given a disciplinary. I was told I should expect to be sick if I was pregnant and if I didn’t want to get sick I should have kept my legs closed. Later on that day my husband took me to hospital and I was put on a drip and kept in for three days. Work wouldn’t accept a sick note, and argued with me about what treatment I’d had, as if I was lying. Another time I had to leave my station to go and be sick, and I was given a disciplinary for that too. I needed to whistleblow to my manager about another member of staff about them not pulling their weight and they were falling asleep when they were meant to be working. Manager brought her down to the office and sat there and let that member tear into me and say things like “we all KNOW your pregnant love, get over it” when I hadn’t brought my pregnancy into it. Later on, I wasn’t allowed to go to antenatal appointments for my 20 week scan and potentially life saving anti d injections, even though they had been in the diary for weeks. She also tried to stop me taking time off (I was signed off by my doctor) for stress, and even tried to stop me going on maternity leave and threatened not to pay me if I went on it. “What job was this?” I hear you wonder…. I was a nursery nurse. The profession you’d think would be most understanding

[@steph.v.o.7078]

😢😮 DISGUSTING!!! Oohhh I am so mad!!! I hope you are oke now 🙏❤️ And the fact that this is even a nursery is mind blowing, you assume they care a bit more? Sending you strength and positive vibes, and I hope you have a new (healthy)job 💁‍♀️😊

[@markplenty2631]

Sorry to hear this but working for yourself is amazing! I've had many bosses be so bad I've always told them to F/off.

[@bigstevie1275]

This is just unbelievable that anyone would treat another person like this at such a tough time in their lives. What a bunch of scumbags

[@spinmaster0]

I wish he had mentioned the details on walking out of the job. That would have been satisfying to know after hearing that line about putting the company first.

[@chrisdemeritt1597]

several years ago, my grandfather passed. I got the call at 10pm at night, while I was at work. I left in the middle of my shift. The next day, a Thursday, while with my family and my grandmother wailing over the loss of my grandfather, I had to call work to update them on what was going on. I explained what happened, and my boss asked if I would be into work that night. I said "No, I won't be back until Monday." He argued that if the funeral was on the weekend, there was no reason I couldn't work that night. I said I was taking bereavement, and I'd be back on Monday. He said " We will see what HR says about that"... HR "Sorry for your loss, see you Monday."

[@woodworkingphoto8083]

Losing my sister was the hardest thing in my life. I was fortuante that im self employed and took the time off that I needed and had some clients who even 5 years later love dearly for the compassion they showed me. I cant imagine what this poor guy has been though being treated like that at the very worst of times. Nothing can prepare you for losing your sibling.

[@SarahKrans]

I asked to talk to my manager 'face to face' (video through teams) rather than via message to tell her my aunt was dying. And her reply when I asked for a meeting was "I'm really busy and am out tomorrow, can this wait until Friday?" So much for open door policy and making sure your employees are thought of as actual people and a priority (I don't ask to meet with her often). Mind you, she also wrote me up for giving her feedback on how I'd like to receive feedback with an example - and the letter contained a lot of 'it felt like' and included the threat that I could lose my job if she didn't understand the context of my 'tone.'

[@CommanderJorgen]

When I worked at a Hardee's, I had a coworker who had a grandmother die and when she told the manager she needed a couple of days to grieve, my manager told her that the grandma's dead and it so what does it matter, and didn't give my coworker the days off...

[@donnamarie2490]

My husband who is 36 was diagnosed with kidney cancer and my employer basically said to me i need to have my shift covered. On the day of his operation i was rung multiple times, asking who was covering my shift, bare in mind my shift was 3 hours long. When i rang them to give them an update i was asked did he survive surgery and if he did when are you back. Needless to say i quit.

[@eagleswings159]

First story, just how detached from community is the boss😮 ...lol the notice that office struggling to hold fort when he grieving

[@frosttouched1997]

I had a serious illness, I was off work with a Doctor's note saying I was unable to work, and my boss phoned me daily to tell me that if I 'woke up and suddenly felt better' (I kid you not) that I should just come in to work since they're short-staffed without me. I finally quit my job while still on sick leave, and it took me a year to fully recover my health.

[@davidszmagalski4233]

Co-workers and subordinates are bad too. I had an intern that decided, since he had a masters degree, he was more qualified to do my job and that I should just die so he could take my job. I simply told him that he not only had a crappy attitude but he lacked the necessary job skills and training. Last time I saw him, he was working as an assistant manager at a book store. Perfect.

[@TheStuartGibson]

My heart goes out to this guy, there seems to be so many yes men in companies, common decency seems to be left at the door when promotions are handed out

[@Hbush1987]

One of my husbands old job made him choose between being with me in labor and losing his job or keeping his job and coming to work but missing the birth of his child. Also this same company when he had PRE-APPROVED time off for our first ultrasound called 50 times when we were at the appointment during the appointment.

[@TonyAnnechino]

I had a manager at a great place I worked at call me in the middle of prearranged time off to deal with family issues. It was out of character, so I hung up, and didn't answer any more calls. When I got back to work, no one said anything to me. Whatever the issue was, they resolved it without me. This was actually the beginning of improvements across the entire organization to train managers to understand and respect employees' work-life balance.

[@ojm31]

I wished that this type of story would surprise me. In my working career, I’ve witnessed that it doesn’t. I wish that caller all the success in the world.

[@emmawilkins5755]

Some years ago I told my manager I needed to go to a family members funeral, it was a family member who had died suddenly in an accident. The first question was 'ok but how long do you think you will be? Will you be back by 2pm?'. I regret so much not challenging that manager. At my relatives wake my poor dad kept looking at his watch worried I was going to get in trouble if I didnt rush back to the office.

[@TheoneandonlyMir]

I was top in a company I used to work for had an uncle pass unexpectedly and my grandfather was also sick, i took time to go to the funeral. The day of the funeral my grandfather paassed. I called my DM at the time and let her know i would not be back i needed another week with my family. You thought I was the worst employee and was brushed off as a big inconvenience to her. That was the date i started looking for a new career

[@stephanieswilley-arnold6886]

Makes me grateful for the locally owned fast food franchise I manage for. Lost my Mom in August '22 and my Dad the day after Christmas, same year. They paid me for a week's bereavement leave after Mom. After Dad, HR put it in as vacation by mistake, which ate my last 5 days for the year. When I tried to take those last few days and caught the mistake, my RVP made sure they were "refunded" back to me in less than 48 hours AND ok'd my vacation request on the spot. I love my bosses.

[@annewood5562]

It just shows you how much your worth to a company when they behave like this. You mean nothing and they don't care unless it's happening to them. We need to be standing up against this kind of treatment.

[@739jep]

I hope the individuals involved, today at least, look back and feel a deep sense of shame and are plagued by overwhelming guilt for the rest of their days.

[@thecomputerguy6335]

Yeah, one of the things People need to be reminded of is that family always comes first, then your job then yourself in the way most people prioritise things, where if you try to get someone to put their job before their family then you are either going to have an employee that doesn't like working for you or eventually they aren't going to have an employee. Where what these larger companies seem to forget is that if you have happy employees and a work culture of being able to go to your company about problems you are having and actually helping them with it (like any competent company should be able to do) then you are going to have more productive employees because they like working there and therefore a more profitable business

[@EikePilt]

In my opinion the priority should be yourself first, then family and then job. You can't take care of others if you neglect yourself

[@thecomputerguy6335]

@@EikePilt yeah, I agree that people should definitely look after themselves first. But in healthy situations you will find that if something is happening to family or a family member needs help then more likely than not they are going to drop what they are doing or finish something if it's crucial to go and help family, found family also counts for this. Behind that is work as you need to work in order to live, and the amount of emphasis or enthusiasm you put into it directly relates to how important it is you keep that job and how much you like doing it respectively. And then people put themselves, behind those two as they are things that are important for them to do and maintain, like how people are much more likely to get something for others over themselves and how people are willing to put up with sh*ty situations but will raise a fuss in order to help someone out of a similar situations. Then you have the thing about that people will put their needs above friends if those things ever clash but that's not what I'm talking about here. The point being that people are more willing to bear things on the behalf of others, and from a companies perspective you will have employees that will dedicate themselves to the company and make personal sacrifices if necessary, but if a family issue or emergency comes up no matter how loyal to the company they will put that over the company as the company is just the thing that allows them to support the family, if their family needs more urgent support then that is what people are going to prioritise. I know that there are people that doesn't apply to but in the majority of the cases. If companies and the people in charge recognize that and have things in place to support that, then the people in them will be more willing to work for them and for longer as they know that they can go in with any problems and the company will have their backs rather than breathing down their necks about business performance. A good company should always have the ability to handle employees needs for time off with a 'we will make it work' attitude with being able to continue without contacting that person until they come back, obviously someone communication with be needed before hand but still. A ground level employees job is to do the day to day work off the business, managements job is to make sure that everything is organised to make sure things can flow smoothly and handle things when stuff happens, "key part": and handle things with the people available. If someone is out or on leave they are not available, if they are unable to do so will the available people or would have to spread people to thin then it's on them to either make people more available by hiring more people or changing the scope of the task, by prioritising or sidelining cirtain tasks, and making everyone aware and up to date on the plan efficiently.

[@EikePilt]

@@thecomputerguy6335 Yes, I was speaking more generally. In this case, which is very extreme and exceptional, you probably think of yourself last.

[@Miluielle]

How awful. To make an already extremely devastating time even more difficult.

[@craigj4979]

You said it well managers are supposed to also support their team and stand up to the directors. We have the same issues at a major airline. The managers do not back us up at all if you are 1 minute late they they give you a bad pr log for the day. If you challenge anything they pr log you like they are gods. Im the kind of person who confronts it and they make you look like the bad person all the time. These company’s need calling out

[@Rickettsia505]

As a manager, I've told my staff "do not worry, I'll handle everything. Let me know if you need anything. Text when you are ready to return." That is why my staff stayed with me through th8ck and thin. I wish MY boss had done the same when my husband was 2 weeks in ICU on life support before we allowed him to die. I had to run interference between him and my staff. American typical bereavement leave is 3, yes THREE, days.

[@Steffelchen1980]

I lost my mom last year. 4 months from diagnosis to her passing away. I was actually on vacation time when she was diagnosed and called my boss and my bosses boss about it and told them I had to take care of her and my dad because he was about to get knee replacement surgery. They told me to get a doctors notice so I got 3 weeks off to take care of her while he was in rehab. After that I was allowed to work till 3pm every day to take care of her (shift was normally till at least 5:30pm). I switched jobs a month and a half before she passed and I didn’t say anything about my situation. Didn’t have to, hours were better. The Sunday when it was obvious she didn’t have long I called my boss told him and he told me to take all the time I needed. That Monday she passed and he told me to take the week off and even longer if I needed it. I’m grateful that my bosses have all been empathetic. Their answer has been that they have families too and would want their boss to react the same way.

[@cts3md]

God bless him for saying, “Yeah, I’m not really asking I’m actually telling you….” Lots of people will have no respect if you don’t require it and there’s nothing wrong with being direct as long as you keep it professional.