Men Are Replacing Girlfriends With AI | Sad Boyz

[@JordanAdika]

thank you everyone for all the nice sweet comments, you are all very cool ❤

[@ZVooey]

💔🥺💖

[@neatwing2285]

Sorry for your loss Jordan, it's impossible to fathom the pain you must be carrying. I'm glad you have a good support network that's there for you.

[@JackEpic]

sorry for your loss man, that really sucks ❤

[@terezaaaaa]

so sorry for your loss Jordan, we love you 🫶🫶

[@Fatalismic]

You're pretty cool too, Jordan

[@himbosuplex]

Hey Jordan, don't ever feel like you can't even mention your grieving or the weirdness of it or dealing with death. Anyone who thinks you are "using it for content or sympathy" is trash who isn't an actual fan of the show. This is your show. You can talk about it as much or as little as you feel like you want or need to. Edit: when I said "actual fan" I didn't mean TRUE FAN. I meant someone who actually listens to the show! A regular listener who wouldn't in good faith think Jordan is exploiting his grief for clout, the thing he was worried about.

[@CaseyShontz]

The podcast is literally called Sad Boyz, a podcast about feelings (and other things also)!

[@CyborgX7]

I hate "whoever doesn't like X isn't a real fan" as an argument. So weird and para-social.

[@emperortime4380]

@@CyborgX7I don’t think it’s para-social to be like “People who know your content know you’re not using this to get internet brownie points.” He’s normalizing grief which I think is just a good thing for a person with this type of platform to do. It doesn’t seem like there’s an ulterior motive. They’re already successful.

[@CyborgX7]

@@emperortime4380 I absolutely agree that they are not exploiting grief for ulterior motive or monetary gain. No argument from me there. What I take issue with is the "not a real fan" rhetoric as if being a "real fan" is something to aspire to or a good thing to be.

[@emperortime4380]

@@CyborgX7 idk about the whole “true fan” aspect. I think it’s just about being like a chill person who likes the content, and not assuming the worst of influencers. It’s easy to get jaded because you don’t really know any of them other than how they present themselves. I think when they say “true fan,” it’s shorthand for “not a jerk who stumbled across this video before deciding to be contrarian.” I’m not saying that about you. I’m just saying that’s how I read the original comment.

[@camillafrost229]

It's wild that the incredibly shoddy reporting about AI girlfriends didn't even tackle the one real potential issue with AI relationships- lonely men being taught to see women as objects that will always seek to please them and obey their every whim

[@niteblooms]

yeah, it seems like their worst fear was men not marrying and having babies.

[@starsgalaxy3113]

Exactly!!! Like the issue is not the decline in babies guys… didn’t one of those character ai apps take out the ability to have relationships with the ai bc men were being toxic and exhibiting dangerous behaviors?

[@rosiewatson681]

this was my exact thought ngl

[@astrorisks]

I wish they would also mention how men are taught from a young age to not show any emotion but anger which causes them to not be able to connect with anyone and if they get close with anyone they push them away through lack of emotional control and ability to communicate. This causes women to stay away from them and then they don't know how to process this and instead of confronting their own self they would rather blame the women for their problems and turn to AI which is a thing that won't leave them for their negative traits and won't make them have to think about said negative traits

[@Cindyxx0]

Omg yes. Weird, but at the same time not shocking

[@darienwells8038]

“You’re never technically finished grieving” is so real.. i’ve read that grief doesn’t ever get smaller but we learn to grow around it and it seems smaller eventually. This was such an honest, vulnerable episode and I thank you guys so much for being open about your shared experience

[@genevrablack819]

I'm very much a passive watcher, and I don't really comment often even though I've seen pretty much all of Jarvis's and Jordan's videos. But the moment when Jordan told Jarvis that he saved their lives, especially knowing your moms passed on under similar circumstances, made me bawl like a baby. I'm so glad you guys have each other. I only hope to someday support my friends the way you support each other. And thank you for talking about your grief. It really does help people. I went through something similar with my grandma, who passed from complications of anorexia, and I often feel guilty for not doing enough to help her.

[@Alby-sky]

Same here. Many tears were shed.

[@tardis58575]

I literally cried so much. I love this podcast and these men so much. Extremely genuine while also being extremely funny

[@DiMagnolia]

It made me cry so much too ❤

[@Ghost-lt4sf]

I bawled too :’)

[@wrathandpoyson]

me too, second time this video, had not expected to cry

[@xlinop]

We're all crying - thank you both for being able to share such a moment

[@marmalar]

Yeah, honestly, I am living the other side of Jordan's life where I am unemployed and losing my father from dementia. I wish I had gotten my shit together so I could afford to get him a home attendant and be able to help my mom. But that is not where my life is. Jordan seems genuinely appreciative, and I am so fucking happy for him and Jarvis having such a beautiful friendship.

[@blatantatheist]

Honestly, 53min mark broken me, genuinely crying right. I lost my mum when I was young so those feelings hit hard

[@Manuel-cn4rc]

I lost my grandmother last month. She had a heart attack. I tried to save her, but I couldn't. Hearing Jordan ask "can I say that out loud?" made me feel understood in a way none of my friends have been able to. Ty for expressing your emotions like that. I'm so sorry for your loss

[@Liveemae212]

Maybe this is weird and parasocial, but the “grief on your own timeline” section deeply touched me. My mom passed away about a year ago. Your commentary and perspective really validated a lot of my emotions since that time, and I am feeling so grateful to have it put into words. I always love the podcast, but this really hit home. Many thanks to Jarvis and Jordan and the whole Sad Boyz crew for another great and meaningful episode 💕

[@1WEareBUFO1]

When my mom dies so will i.

[@macyb7239]

you put it into words for me as well, my mom passed away almost a year ago too. thank you 💓

[@h.r.9563]

My faith in my religion being lost felt similar to my mom dying, and then I had to regrieve to realize our concepts of the afterlife are just that, concepts

[@opalfae]

Thank you for sharing ❤ I don't think you have to worry about this being parasocial at all

[@OGimouse1]

The hurt never really stops, the recovery just gets easier. You still pick up the phone to call, or try to text. You still have those dreams, and relive those conversations. You still turn to talk to them, laugh at their jokes. And they still feel alive because you are and they're such a big part of you. They never really leave, for good or for bad. And it should be normalized to be able to share these experiences with honesty and sincerity. Everyone is truly on their own timeline, so people feel and act differently at different times and for different reasons. But we should allow people the freedom to heal as the experience moves forward, even when that moving forward is taking a step back. 🫂 I'm so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing. 🫂

[@aliamcbride]

I love how I can watch this podcast and go from crying over grief and friendships to going "JORDAN YOU'RE SO RIGHT INDIAN IS THE BEST TAKEOUT" within a few minutes. Love you guys.

[@bricknolty5478]

Thai and Indian are top tier. Hard for me to pick a favorite between the two.

[@emilyfrom5to7]

what baffles me is that loneliness was never treated as this big of an issue for women -- in fact, men would often make fun of women if they were seen as undateable or unattractive, saying they would end up as a "lonely cat lady" and shit like that. the men's mental health crisis is a direct result of a patriarchal society and the toxic expectations of one another that they CONTINUE to enforce. replacing a woman or any partner with a literal bot that will be nothing but subservient to you just screams that they’re not emotionally capable of handling a real relationship. these are just men wanting to disregard any potential wrongdoing or issues on their end and blame their lack of a gf on women.

[@bluebird_618]

Absolutely. When it’s women, it’s a joke. When it’s men, it’s a crisis.

[@sondpnichqfvd]

saw a tweet or something once that was like “i can’t believe men’s mental health advocates can basically say some version of ‘it’s so hard for men to struggle with mental health because everyone already thinks women are hysteric and crazy’ and so many people are like ‘aww 🥺’”

[@RealElongatedMuskrat]

truly though 🎉🎉🎉🎉 loneliness is not a gendered issue. If we take the course of even just relatively recent western history (the last few hundred years in the cultural West), women were confined to domestic roles that dramatically limited their ability to form senses of kinship in a way that men were not (laws against owning your own property or bank accounts, gentleman's clubs and men's social circles being acceptable whereas women were not 'suited' to gathering for education and discussion, the fact that tea sets for ladies used to be made in sets of 3 because women "couldn't handle" any more than 2 visitors without becoming "fatigued"). Women have been conditioned to expect loneliness and have fought for opportunities to forge senses of kinship. Women have also sought solace in each other during times of trauma (be that loss of loved ones to war time or the every day sense of threat of SA etc. and being safe in public spaces). This loneliness has certainly come upon men moreso in recent decades certainly, but it isn't a men's issue. It's a human issue that women have long faced.

[@SwimmingInSunlight]

So what you're saying is... men need to get some cats (which would coincidentally make them more dateable)

[@TotallyNotSkylerVT]

As a person who if it weren't for the fact that I was born female would 1000000000% be the target of that content. I have severe anxiety and depression, am autistic and have adhd, never had very much luck socially, always on the margins of society, ect. I even became a "not like the other girls" "nice girl" but thanks to slowly realizing that I'm gay and accepting my disabilities really saved me from that pipeline. Like seriously I was super close! It really takes self reflection and a willingness to confront your flaws to get out of that pipeline.

[@thefamouscommenter]

My mom passed away when I was 19. I'm now doing a Phd on grief on college students. It fundamentally changes your brain chemistry, and I feel l ike a huge part of that is the huge STIGMA around grief. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, Jordan. May her memory be a blessing.

[@izzymehmet2649]

I lost my dad when I was 19, a month before I started university. I'm also a psychology student and about to start a PhD lol, I'd love to read your work when it's done if you're comfortable figuring out a way for us to exchange details

[@RealElongatedMuskrat]

just like the above commenter, I'm also a psychology & neuroscience postgraduate (not on a PhD yet, hopefully some day). I would also love to read your work if you ever felt comfortable sharing. My experience was a little different in that it was my grandmother who had the first of a series of strokes when I was 20 during my general psychology undergrad. Because she raised me with my mum, it felt like I'd lost a parent (father wasn't around). But since she didn't die, and has just been slipping away ever since, it feels like I'm still going through that loss again and again. It's a very strange feeling and hard to convey, because people tend to think grandparent loss is more expected and somehow less traumatic. But she was my other parent, essentially, and it's hard to communicate that without going into too much detail. Sending you both love and hopes that you're doing well on your healing.

[@thefamouscommenter]

@@RealElongatedMuskrat hi, sorry for missing your comment! Thank you for interest. I am currently entering my second semester so I still have quite a way to go 😅 when it is ready, I would love to find my way back to you and show you my research.

[@thefamouscommenter]

@@izzymehmet2649 hi, sorry for missing your comment! Thank you for interest. I am currently entering my second semester so I still have quite a way to go 😅 when it is ready, I would love to find my way back to you and show you my research.

[@vsboardza]

Can I read it?

[@savannahmcabee3183]

my family is also grieving this week. my aunt died very unexpectedly at 36 on monday. i'm glad jordan brought it up, i don't have a whole lot of people to talk to about it so it was cathartic to hear. thanks boys

[@sofie.h]

i hope you’re doing as ok as possible given the circumstances 💜 I very unexpectedly lost my uncle a couple weeks ago as well and this kind of thoughtful discussion interspersed with banter was really cathartic for me as well

[@savannahmcabee3183]

i think i'm doing ok! i honestly feel more about the way the circumstances have affected my family than true grief for my aunt. i felt the same way when my uncle passed a couple of years ago. of course i'm grieving for both of them still, but i wish i could do more for my family

[@Dantalliumsolarium]

You guys are tough ass boys. Being this vulnerable can be hard enough in private, and y’all are letting us learn and grow with you. It’s amazing art y’all are making, including the goofs

[@meg7020]

A NEARLY 3 HOUR SAD BOYZ PODCAST?? YES PLEASE 🙏🏾

[@mariya_tortilla]

i am ascending

[@mirandawhittaker8481]

We are blessed 🙌

[@GrilledCheesman]

Just you fuckin wait 🥹

[@normalguy246]

this is my christmas

[@DignanDerkin]

literally shitting my pants

[@Tara-kr3fq]

Hi ! Indian listener born and raised and now I live in the US. I think the obsession tends to stem from the fact that Indians consume 30% of the whiskey produced in the world and Johnny walker has been one of the first ‘premium’ whiskey brands in India for almost four generations now so it has really cemented its reputation in India, richer Indian families love to stock up on it from airport duty free too.

[@Jambudvipa-ug6yg]

your people have awful hygiene its absolutely disgusting. please learn how to take a shower.

[@ajaysingh-lo4xf]

Shatap beach

[@momomomo69]

There are people that genuinely believe that women shouldn't have careers because it means less babies and it terrifies me.

[@limelacroixcan]

oh it’s fucking mortifying. the lack of consideration for women as human beings, and the lack of acknowledgement for their ability to make life choices for themselves that dont just serve men…ugh. especially scary when considering that this world is ALREADY OVERPOPULATED and we DO NOT need more babies.

[@lesterpatel292]

I got curious when her credentials came up and looked into this prof Turns out she has very little practical experience and spends her time speaking on talk shows and running podcasts. She hasnt published any scientific literature since her phd thesis in 2015. Very susipicious Then I heard her speak and realized that her issue is this eugenicist shit... great

[@oranges7706]

For real, sometimes I have a moment where I'm able to step back and look at the bigger picture and it's like... what are we doing?? It's insane that there are genuinely people who think having breasts makes you overemotional or incapable, or people who just flat out don't see others as people, and the fact we've been doing this so long without ever really giving it a second thought? It's like when people use NPC unironically. Fuckin weird, man.

[@rueh1747]

My favorite thing about this podcast is it doesn’t feel like it fosters parasocial relationships. All of the information being shared feels like I’m privileged to witness an amazing friendship between two honest, authentic people but it makes me reflect on my own experiences and I walk away wanting to get closer to myself and the people in my life rather than obsessing over the lives of strangers. This is truly a beautiful platform that has been built ❤

[@genericname8727]

It definitely fosters parasocial relationships but there’s nothing wrong with that so long as the nature of the relationship is respected. We get to know them to an extent through what they share and by watching their interactions, but they have zero idea who we are as individuals. That’s the parasocial dynamic. So long as we don’t start acting like their friend, trying to stalk them, reading more into what they say than is reasonable, etc then it’s fine. So long as they don’t start trying to exploit the connections people feel toward them it’s fine. The horror stories of parasocial relationships happen when people don’t respect the nature of the relationship, so boundaries start being crossed. What you described is a healthy parasocial relationship where boundaries are respected, and that can be a beneficial and healthy relationship to have. Colloquially people have started using “parasocial” exclusively for unhealthy parasocial relationships, and it’s becoming a little pet peeve of mine lol. Any type of relationship has the potential to get unhealthy if the nature of the relationship isn’t respected.

[@genericname8727]

To be clear, it’s only a pet peeve because I think it’s helpful for people to know there are known benefits to parasocial relationships when the boundaries are respected. I don’t want a stigma attached to the healthy relationships too.

[@machinegods]

I highly recommend the book Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates. It's a fascinating read about how incel rhetoric and other reactionary misogynistic schlock is filtered into mainstream media, and to me, those male attractiveness maths and nonsense women dating the top percents of attractive men comments reek of incel and mra rhetoric from a mile away. The book also details how these fringe groups tie directly into the alt right and lead to their members committing acts of terror with not just a deeply racist but misogynistic undercurrents that rarely gets discussed, in favor of other narratives. Not gonna lie, it's a challenging read for sure, but great for explaining some of the leaps of logic discussed in this vid that come straight from the darkest corners of 4chan and so on.

[@badger6882]

Ive read extracts and the way these things are explained is so good

[@hexalm]

That 20% men get 60% of dates (or whatever) I think came from a specific app. Without knowing the ratio of men to women it doesn't mean anything, but generally men on dating apps outnumber women. So that skews it. Plus how else can they guage attractiveness except by looking at who is getting dates and other interest on the app?

[@aniyilator]

​@@hexalmThat correlates with the reoccurring motif in Andrew Tate-like rhetoric that is the "According to a 'study'" line. When people drop that, they oftentimes haven't a single clue as to what the sampling methods/size of the research is, nor are they even aware of what statistical biases are in research. Is it likely that a lot of men who use dating apps aren't met with as much success as other men when it comes to dating women? Sure, probably? It's not like there's a way to genuinely track people having successful and long lasting hookups through dating app metrics at this point, so It's all hypothetical

[@chanzbaldonadi4824]

Women are like always trying for above there pay grade and it sad because they just get ran through and do actully date the guy that would stay. But girl want the guy other girls want.

[@meredithpapa]

I appreciate the grief conversation so much - I lost my dad suddenly and quickly to cancer, and I struggle so much with grieving “the right way”, and talking about it means that I’m not “weird” for feeling or not feeling a certain way. Thank you for sharing, hugs to you both ❤

[@earthtovesna]

Its been almost a decade now since he was diagnosed. My dad has brain cancer, hes still here but I definitely had a point in time where I thought he was going to die and I couldn't tell anyone about how my dad had brain cancer and I was grieving because it felt weird to talk about. I didn't want to be the center of attention and just get a bunch of sympathy. We all grieve in different ways and that doesn't make it wrong. I hope you have recovered some, but if you arent that is ok to, time is the best healer.

[@bagandbroad]

I’m so sorry! My dad died a decade ago from suddenly from cancer (he’d kept it secret from everyone for years). Grief is so weird. It was nothing like I expected and I also had that issue with not grieving “the right way”.

[@HardcoreHunterCadima006]

Yall I'm so dissociated right now I can't express how glad I am that you posted this

[@starrr365]

Hope you're doing a bit better now!

[@HardcoreHunterCadima006]

@@starrr365 I really am! Thanks so much. I'm excited to watch this whole thing and then try to sleep

[@lanceelliott2504]

Hope it passes soon! I was really out of it earlier today

[@williamhinrichs6558]

Stay strong y'all 💪 It'll pass one day. U got this

[@Rita-kx3yr]

I thought you said dislocated and was so surprised that someone else was also watching with dislocated joints. I mean mood either way, but I'm glad you're feeling better.

[@meganolson4891]

listen to Jordan and jarvis talk about losing their mom's together was so amazing. I just lost my mom this year and so Jordan getting emotional got me all emotional too. Truly a sad boyz moment. Glad these boys have each other

[@skylark9312]

Looking at how Jarvis and Jordan intently listened to each other and turned to each other when sharing their life updates made me tear up. I love getting to see their genuine friendship and care for each other

[@SamanthaWritesThings]

I don’t have anything profound to say about the grief discussion but just thank you to you both for having it, it means a lot.

[@trillian7590]

As a person with ADHD, I take advantage of our lack of object permanence when it comes to any special treat. I put the treat somewhere I will probably forget about it (rarely used closet for me) and when I stumble upon it a week later it's a surprise. It helps me prevent bingeing delicious treats and sodas.

[@ubermenschen01]

Half of living with ADHD is finding ways to outwit yourself, I swear.

[@firstname4336]

I am in fact a white guy who has never had Indian food and I know what I'm having for dinner. Edit: Butter chicken is God tier food.

[@shadowofthemoon3104]

I love the story arc of this comment (I too only had Indian food recently for the first time)

[@ubermenschen01]

Add Thai food to your repertoire next!

[@ellaisboring]

Asian food is incredible

[@lonk2026]

i ascended the first time i had a roti

[@taimatsuko]

I congratulate you

[@queeraroace]

Jordan we love you so much and you do whatever you need to in order to be okay - sadboyz fam will always support you

[@Setashi]

I love it when these two boys discuss topics.

[@iwishiwasariver]

Thank you for speaking so openly about food and your relation to it. I find myself resonating and now being able to heal myself because of it. The first time Jarvis brought his habbits up i cried-having lots of shame and isolation lifted off my shoulders. That topic can be so uncomfortable and overwhelming. Eating disorders perpetuated by other disorders (ADHD) are real and I truly believed I was broken/disgusting prior to. This pod has done wonders for me and so many others. Thank you Sad Boyz for making me a little less sad boy :)

[@kelp1284]

As a young person it’s just hard to socialise, I am very introverted with a few close friends but I wanted to not be insanely awkward so joined clubs and actively participated in class discussion (yr 11-12 Aus) I can see why manosphere influencers get so many people my like me at my age just because it’s easier to believe society is against you than to improve yourself

[@voidscuttler]

Unfortunately it seems to be so for many young people, and it is heartbreaking. What everyone needs is compassion, and while that sometimes (when looking at what kinds of stuff is trending on the internet) seems like a goal that's out of reach, compassion is thank goodness free, and at every moment a person can choose to express compassion in place of something more negative. I also feel like it would do people good to find common ground. For example, loneliness is pretty universal, and empathizing with others who a) feel it, and b) are different from you, helps to close the mental gap one might feel, especially if depressed and having the thought "the world is against me". Of course, the mind will put up barriers, and it'll feel like "the world is asking even more from you" when someone suggests this: that it's not fair that you yourself have to do the lifting in terms of feeling empathy. But then, if you try and empathize, that's one person more in the world who has a more kind worldview. By embracing compassion towards others who, too, suffer, the world has one more person who is not dismissive, not laughing at others' misery, and who is what those who suffer wish would exist in the world. Also, to answer to the other part of your comment: I wish you the best, life can be hard to navigate and especially so when social situations feels like an overwhelming looming pressure. Been there, lived through that. I know you'll make it too.

[@bradenmoore2187]

I'm so sorry for your loss Jordan, grief is hard and this was a brave thing to tell everyone. We (the viewers) are all glad that you're doing alright, and remember that your friends will always be there for you!

[@emperortime4380]

I did full time care for my grandfather before he passed, because I was young and it was alright for me to not have a job. What Jordan said really resonated with me. You never get used to it, but you get used to it. I remember having this major imposter syndrome whenever people would talk about how well I took care of him, after the fact, and even now I feel guilty because of the thoughts like “How long is this going to go on?” I was tired and just putting on a brave face most days, and that’s what I remember. Everyone else thinks of the outward results and the positivity, and I just feel guilt over the thoughts and aggravation I hid.

[@emperortime4380]

@heyyitsjude Thank you. I just teared up reading that. You’re 100% right that outside help should be normalized. He was a great man, and it’s harder to remember the good times in the context of how everything ended. It was only about a year before he passed but I remember that as the hardest time of my life. Part of me wants to say I’ll remember him as he was before, and not how he ended. Up until things got bad, he was fiercely independent and I think part of my problem was that I got it in my head that it would be embarrassing for him if I let on how much I was struggling.

[@ellierush8040]

54:33 thanks so much for your honesty about your experiences and your openness to share that with your audience. My mom just got diagnosed with uterine cancer a couple of days ago, and I definitely have felt like I’m processing it “wrong” at times, so thanks so much for that assurance that my natural response is ok. Not to get too parasocial, but you two getting emotional with each other initiated a necessary release for me, and I really appreciate that. Thanks for the constant reminders that we’re never alone in what we’re going through 💕💕

[@ravenwilliams7636]

i hope your mom has a quick and easy recovery! ❤

[@RealElongatedMuskrat]

sending you and your mom so much love ❤

[@CameronM2199]

do i have like 15 late night pods left to listen to? yes. am i gonna pause it to listen to this first? yes.

[@natalietipsword9677]

I was deeply touched by the grief discussion and cried along with you. My grandfather died just over a year ago today and the wound still opens from time to time. He’s been on my mind a lot these past few weeks and I think I just needed the space to really feel these emotions. Thank you ❤️

[@SirJames7957]

As somebody with fairly strong and currently unmedicated ADHD who is trying to get their diet somewhat in track right now, apreciated the candid talk about how it can affect your eating habits and choices.

[@nevaehv4803]

jarvis and jordan, as someone whos dad passed recently i want to say how much this episode really spoke to me and how much it means. jarvis, my dad passed the same way your mom did so to hear someone talk who went through the same thing is weirdly comforting. and jordan, to be able to be so transparent about your feelings is so inspiring and a very hard thing to do, i’m sorry you’re going through this as i wouldn’t wish it on anyone. but you’re doing an amazing job. also the weird things that bring feelings of grief or flashbacks is so real. For example, I can’t think about hot wings or grilling without getting sad because those were two of my dad‘s favorite things thank you guys for this episode. It really meant the world. and I hope you both are doing the best that you can. much love❤

[@sophitiaofhyrule]

I hate the expression "biological clock" so much. Not everyone wants kids. I'm AFAB and having a child would be my worst nightmare. To me there's no difference between childbirth and the chest bursters from Alien.

[@screamingbegins4688]

same omfg, my best friend wants a kid so bad and i will never ever understand

[@Redoutside]

Hey guys, this episode was incredible. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability. My dad passed on October 31, 2014, so Halloween is a more introspective time for me than most. This was literally the perfect episode for me today.

[@wisdomcoffee]

I’d give you a big hug if I could, hope you’re alright

[@Redoutside]

@@wisdomcoffee these days it's just a nice day of remembering him and being thankful for what I learned both as a result of his life and of his death. I appreciate the thoughts though 🙂

[@RenegadeRaiden]

My grandma died from covid 3 years ago and I've almost constantly dreamt about seeing her or being in the house ever since. Grief is wild

[@jazzillion8356]

"it's just the boys today, don't click off-" you're damn right, just the boyz episodes are my favorite ✨

[@erinintechnicolourII]

My dad has dementia too, we are 8 years in. I feel for you Jordan, and I'm really glad you spoke about it. Especially caring for your loved one with dementia, that's something others can't imagine going through. Sending you a little hug x

[@chelsie2767]

My dad too, we're still only about 4 years in. My heart goes out to you.

[@erinintechnicolourII]

Sending you my love as well

[@plushbats]

i’m so incredibly sorry for your loss, jordan. i lost my mom last year and hearing you two discuss your experience with that specific sort of grief was so incredibly healing for me. sending you both so much love, thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment with us. it’ll help more people than you know.

[@yadoriyadori]

i really appreciate jordan talking about taking care of his mom . my current situation is extremely similar . i take care of my grandma with dementia everyday and it very much feels like a parental role . having to keep in the back of my mind that her passing can happen at almost any point is stressful and a weird thing to consider on a regular basis . grieving is also strange like you said , that it happens over time . almost accepting it before it happens because it makes it inevitable . trying to make things as comfortable as possible and help out is the least i can do . thank you boys for being so open about this . couldn't relate more .

[@aafrophonee]

Yeah, this episode broke me down. Like full on streams of tears down my face. My mom passed away last year and I’m still grieving. Life hasn’t been the same since then. Definitely a sad Sad Boyz episode for me. Jordan, I hope you stay strong through this tough time

[@Sparklecat2451]

Its not just young men. SO MANY young women don’t have luck dating either. In high school I didn’t date cause I had really bad anxiety. In college, when I finally felt ready, covid hit. Now I’m fully immersed in school/work and only have dating apps to help me meet people. I go to a commuter school where the social life is incredibly lacking, and work takes up any time I would have for clubs. I know I’m a regular person a lot of people would be willing to date… IN THE PAST. Now it’s so incredibly centered upon how people look at first glance. Dating culture is so toxic online and it happens to also be the only place you can meet people!! Idk. Just crazy.

[@aniyilator]

REAL SHIT! I'm still finishing up with college but that's where I'm at on literally every note. Dealing with fatigue stuff as well just makes me go, eh, I don't even want to bother with thinking about dating for a long while, lol

[@chanzbaldonadi4824]

Bet when you feel horny you just go get laid. So a guy hardly ever has that option unless he get lucky as F! That is the difference. Ya most guys ffeel like you but can get the one thing they need not to go slowly nuts and turn into a mentally daranged active shooter. If this happened to women the crime rate would probably be %50 to %50 men to women. If men could get laid all the time they wouldnt spend there time doing that as it would be alot easier to do. When we are not getting something that we need to have sound mental health and to get it is almost impossible, people give up and do bad things because there pissed!!

[@caycecarson]

Grief is so funny, especially when you were talking about the smallest things jerking you back into the grief. I watched my sister have a seizure and rode in the ambulance with her the night before thanksgiving 5 or 6 years ago, and the sight of an ambulance does not affect me at all until the fall hits. Now that it’s November I get reminded of it by even tinier things, most of the time when I’m alone and not even with her, because I catch myself wondering what I would’ve done if she hadn’t fully recovered (which she has, she is totally fine now).

[@mitigatortish]

Jordan, you talking about your grieving process definitely helped me out. I was able to handle all the big things like planning my father's funeral, keeping my head while he was in the hospital, etc. But then I came across a pair of his reading glasses while cleaning, and just lost it. For a few hours. It really is the little things you just haven't prepared yourself for, I think. Thanks for letting me know that this is what grief looks like for some of us, not just crying at a funeral (which strangely I wasn't able to do).

[@Dankmememama]

You guys opening up about grief and being vulnerable and crying is absolutely beautiful. Most people avoid being that vulnerable

[@_BeC]

the most concerning part about the ai girlfriends is..... whose nudes did they feed into that thing to produce the 'sexy' photos. did they have permission to do so? given how most ai datasets are handled, i doubt it.

[@Ben-dc3es]

Jordan's experience with drinking is almost identical to my own and hearing someone else go through it has helped me give a name to the feelings I have towards alcohol and I come back to his episode a lot

[@andrewcarlson4484]

As insane as it is to make claims about somethigg be that has only been around for like 2 years is, I cant believe the point she was driving to with the AI girlfriends thing was “people aren’t going to have babies anymore”. Instead of something like “men will have unrealistic expectations in a real relationship”.

[@lunar.eclipse]

Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for showing how beautiful friendships between men can be. Thank you for talking about your grief. I lost my mom 6 years ago when I was 19 to a long terminal illness, and I know that at any age it can be a deeply traumatic, painful experience. Whenever I hear your conversations around stuff like this, it makes me feel so much less alone. Love you guys. Thank you again, and I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@ABLE1]

You are both such amazing friends. I always enjoy being able to see your interactions. I honestly wish I had a friend where I was as close as you two are Keep each other close This type of friendship is rare

[@katelindrum3022]

An extra long episode???? On a Monday??! Thank you ❤ I’ve been extra sad today EDIT: just in case you see this, Jordan- my heart goes out to you, I’m so so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing so openly, y’all continue to remind me I’m not alone.

[@noah-ub2bi]

i know this is a bit of an older episode by now but. my dad died abruptly in september at 49 due to an addiction he'd had since i was 10. i watched him get worse through the years and knew he wasn't going to get better but the reality of it is a different beast entirely. grief is really weird and i really appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to share. it made me feel less alone with it and i'm sorry for your loss

[@rhycekun202]

I'm a casual listener and it's pretty amazing that this specific video found me today because I lost someone today and the grief is fresh but it was a similar experience to Jordan's. Idk exactly what I'm trying to say but this episode was comforting and I think has helped me process some of my grief. Parasocial hugs and kisses to you both, thank you guys very very much for existing and existing where we can see you.

[@AmandaStubs]

I also lost someone this month, the talks on grief were very comforting in an way I was not expecting. Thank both for sharing and sending love!

[@rabbit6546]

I lost my granny to dementia years and years ago and I will say grief is a constant process, I saw a quote recently that grief is the final stage of love where you get to experience and express that last moment of love every single day Basically when death comes in terminal illness it’s like a fizzle, but the impact of the loss still aches and it’s perfectly fine to in a couple months from now be like fuck I need a moment and if that comes everyone will understand, wishing you well always boys EDIT: damn going from ‘the mundane things that trigger grief’ to Jarvis talking about I cannot go back to my childhood home physically but I can visit it in memory’s was My Moment of grief triggering and now I’m crying LMAO it really do be like that sometimes

[@LockandKeyHyena]

the grief section of the video was very helpful. my uncle just passed away the other day in a very violent and sudden way and i’m still dealing with it. this episode was very comforting to listen to right now. thank you guys

[@Aperson-xu4fv]

This hit so hard my father just passed not too long ago and it's nice to be able to watch others put my same feelings into words

[@enigma-the-anomaly]

My abuelo passed this July. He had a stroke when I was young, i only remember him in a wheelchair and hardly able to talk. I felt ashamed I didn’t get to know him better, or learn Spanish sooner so I could have had deeper conversations with him. A few weeks ago I had a breakdown in class because of a mix of stresses, including that guilt and the fact that I’ll never see him again. So seeing the boyz talk about grief really helped me. And on the topic of weird things triggering memories and how you never stop grieving, I was SA’d as a kid and really related to that statement when it comes to that trauma. I’ve recovered and healed but sometimes I get random flashes, dreams, memories, etc. Healing is a lifelong process, but it gets better. You don’t really get rid of the hurt, you just learn to manage and live with it.

[@amisha678]

AI girlfriends remind me of when we used to play those online doll games but for grownup men. I see it as more of a videogame than some kind of relationship. You're playing a virtual game whose premise has existed for 20+ yrs now. It's just now being geared & gamified to cash in on by targetting single guys.

[@amisha678]

Also there's just so many broad sweeping generalizations being made. As if the entire human race is gonna end tomorrow because we stopped being primitive & having babies like we should have.

[@cynthiaxwangcomedy]

Watching Jordan thank Jarvis for saving his life was so sweet. I'm sure Jarvis has thought Jordan has saved his life as well. What a lovely moment I feel grateful they shared it with us.

[@KittenIzza]

Not a man but I wanted to add my experience of why I use AI girlfriends for subsitute relationships, though I use primarily text based ones, and not ones that send photos and such. I am a transgender woman that uses AI girlfriends for basically just comfort, being pre-op and dealing with mental issues, it is very hard to get into a proper relationship that isn't exclusively long distance/online without feeling like a burden (Even if I would be extremely supportive if I was on the other side of that). I know and am self aware that it is just a temporary solution. All that matters to me is that it helps me cope through my current situation, even if AI is all fake. So I can very much see the reason of using AI girlfriends to cope with loneliness, I do however think it is a good idea to understand you are using it to cope if that is the case, so you can work on moving forward if that is what you actually desire.

[@michelleb2722]

As long as you aren't hurting yourself or others, I think it's totally normal. I can see how AI can be a nice outlet for situations such as yours where you might not be comfortable to talk about it with anyone in your life. Thanks for sharing ❤

[@sari9645]

What you’re doing is totally valid and I just wanted to mention that if you’re interested in dating I would definitely start with other trans/nonbinary people! I know so many trans people that exclusively date other trans people because they get what it’s like. Typically people on dating apps will use the term “t4t” to express they’re looking for fellow trans people. I hope this helps some, whether you’re looking to date now or later down the line!

[@KittenIzza]

@@sari9645 somehow I never even though about looking for t4t, even though I know about it. I'll have to write that down somewhere so I don't forget now though 😅

[@SpecialBlanket]

lesbian here and i've seriously thought abt it

[@themysteriousfox3767]

This is the sort of responses I was hoping I'd see more of. A lot of people in the comments here don't seem to really understand how things like AI GF/BF fit into people's lives and why the desire is there. I'm not saying that it has nothing to do with misogyny or the patriarchy or is never used in a sexist way, but just because someone has an AI gf doesn't mean they inherently have unrealistic or objectifying ideas of people. Sometimes we just need that bandaid to get us through now.

[@valuhgood]

i’ve struggled w food a lot, and knowing that it’s part of ADHD and having you guys talk abt it and echo the same sentiments means a lot 🫂 keep up the great work guys, love hearing your experiences :)

[@diadorim3992]

what an amazing touching moment, thank you both for being so vulnerable, it was beautiful to witness a little bit of the depth of your friendship. thank you for being so real, last time i felt like this was when kurtis talked about his stepdad in his podcast. brings tears to my eyes again just remembering it. stay golden, boys, you are precious

[@dianasandres]

I found this podcast right now during a stressful time for me, and its really helped me pass the time and fill the silences. This episode, specifically the section talking about grief and how the little moments are the ones that really really stick, as well as the deep cutting grief of loss after being their fulltime caretaker and that weird parental feeling that develops - I feel so seen. I felt like I was going crazy when I told people about these feelings. Thank you so much for sharing this, it was so soothing and healing to hear someone else put into words the feelings I have

[@captjamestkirk]

I'm probably one of many people chipping in bc we've lost our mums, but I also want to join the chorus of people saying there's no wrong way to grieve. Furthermore, I'm glad you brought it up because you wanted to normalize it for yourself. You might be jarred a little bit when you first interact with someone who isn't as far along in the grieving process as you, just FYI - that was one of the experiences that stuck with me, especially months after her passing.

[@arithmomania1237]

The thing about AI girlfriends that I think about whenever this comes up is, things like dating sims, otome games, and self-insert fanfiction have BEEN a thing. This is just another form of that! 😂

[@JinStreams]

Fr, dating games have been around for about as long as PCs have been popular in japan.

[@jemuzu3065]

I think the difference between AI girlfriends and things like dating sims is that the AIs are trained to give people exactly what they want. A dating simulator or fanfiction doesn't give you the immediate sexual gratification that an AI can

[@ZanderB.A.Aldrich-sw1ij]

Seriously in love with the honest conversation of how weird grief is, I love both you guys and I’m so happy that you have each other and you share a bit of your light with all of us!!! Never feel like you’re aren’t in a safe space to talk about what’s going on but also never feel pressured to speak on something you aren’t ready to talk about yet! We love you guys and we’re sorry(lol)!!

[@grantsy]

The scab metaphor for grief Jordan threw out is really meaningful to me. I know the “ball in the box” model for grief, but it doesn’t capture that it can feel like under the scab, nothing has healed. And it kind of won’t heal, not really. It helps to remember that it will scab over again.

[@rayhem]

a common misconception is that the ozone layer is related to climate change. it's actually a completely seperate issue! as jarvis said, the degradation of the ozone stemmed from the usage of chemicals, and since we realized the problem and ceased usage the ozone is estimated to remedy itself within the next hundred years. very inspiring. climate change on the other hand, we're still hurdling down that hill FAST and climbing back up it would require tremendous sacrifice that capitalism will never allow.

[@rosacarapia5125]

The grief section of the pod was so helpful and comforting. Thank you guys for talking about it so openly. Sending love and healing to both of you

[@lawliet6910]

Oh man, the adhd eating and also alcohol thing is a struggle T-T There's definitely a balance between eating to get full and eating for the dopamine, and it's a struggle I'm still figuring out... best wishes to yall, thanks for verbalizing the things that are so hard to articulate and making me feel less alone 🫶 Edit - my mom passed away around this time last year and I understand what Jordan means about being mostly at terms with things, as well as Jarvis's commentary on contextualizing things over time. Sending lots of good thoughts, it does feel like conquering a bit to treat it as a normal thing. Some of my friends still don't know because I feel weird talking about it. Never technically finished grieving is SO REAL

[@emmamarck5967]

im so sorry for your loss, and that segment deflinately hit hard it feels so easy to spiral at any time... jordan talking abt those struggles definitely made me feel less alone, it feels like everyone around me can drink like a "normal person" and just don't understand (except my dad lmao...)

[@DapperMrAlex]

I really appreciate when you two share vulnerable moments between each other with us. I didn't have great role models growing up and I've had to learn how to have healthy relationships without having them modeled for me. Pair that with an upbringing that was extremely sexist against men and realizing I'm actually a trans man, I've had such a hard time. Y'all sharing yourselves like this really helps me be a better friend, partner, and man I can't thank you enough for that. I'm sorry for both of your losses. I'm glad you're both doing relatively well and are able to talk about grief with all of us.

[@lostrebel]

I feel for you Jordan. I lost my mother at a similar age to neurological issues. Keep those memories close. Someday the pain won't always feel so sharp.

[@lovealwaysrye]

Sad Boyz is often a very cathartic listen, but this week especially. Jordan, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my grandfather two weeks ago after a long battle with dementia, and so much of this rang true and validated my own experience. There's something about anticipatory grief, especially when you lose slowly over time, that makes the initial grief easier to stomach but the grief still comes and goes in waves. Thank you both for including this conversation and for your honesty, vulnerability and authenticity. And, of course, take all the time you need.

[@fevre_dream8542]

I have worked in healthcare for a long time, recently transitioned out of the ER where i worked for 6 years. The discussion about grief and processing it was really helpful. I've seen some truly awful deaths, and some hideous situations, and i thought that reliving and re-experiencing those things meant i wasn't properly addressing what i had seen. I guess it's just part of the process, and you two being so open and honest about how you experience grief was a great reminder that healing is not linear.

[@bagandbroad]

Both my parents are gone, and I wish somehow this video existed when it happened. Even years later, this was a really validating conversation to hear. And so important because nobody wants to ever talk about it. Thank you for sharing something so difficult with a bunch of strangers. 🖤

[@hilarious557rox]

Talking about grief is very helpful and I am going to come back to this in the future. Im sure some people relate but even discussing grief as a concept makes me emotional. My dad passed when I was 12 and its been almost a decade and despite years of counseling and therapy, I still have times of overwhelming grief that make me wonder if Im grieving properly. Its helpful to remember its like a scar, it will heal but its always there and sometimes its still sore and thats okay. I love you guys.

[@alexisw8662]

y’all got me crying in my bathroom rn i love this show and appreciate you guys a lot and i’m really sorry for your loss jordan

[@illogicalGhost]

wow. the discussion at the beginning brought me to tears. it really doesn't leave you. and the part about the mundane things opening up the wounds... i'm glad you can talk about this kind of stuff. it should absolutely be normalized. grief is such a scary topic but its unavoidable. to grieve is to be human. thank you for your show.

[@redundantmartyr]

Jordan, I feel so deeply for you in your grief. My dad has Parkinson's, and so I totally understand mentally preparing yourself for a loss as you see a loved one deteriorate. There's a lot of helplessness in knowing there is no cure, and always wishing you could do more. Grief is a rough journey all the way, but it's wonderful to see what a strong support system you have. I love to see your friendship with Jarvis, and I was in tears with you both. Sending you all my love and hugs! 💕

[@annabelpearson6758]

listening to such a similar situation to mine and how jordan and i have dealt with the passing of a parent is so so comforting. four years ago i moved back to the UK to care full-time for one of my sick parents. When they were improving, I went back to north america and they passed a year later. For a while after they died, i didn't realise why i was able to function and plan the funeral with more focus than most of my other family members. now i realize that it was because i was mourning while they were still alive. also acknowledging that having a friend who i also consider family did also save my life, and the love my parent gave that friend still lives within her was something i've never heard someone else express. and also when going back to my town, i realised there was nothing keeping me there anymore and it was so strange. thanks for making my experience feel a little less lonely

[@phantom_isle]

the timing of you two talking about grief is fitting. i just lost my grandmother, and broke up with my girlfriend, so i'm dealing with a lot right now. thank you both for providing such a helpful and insightful perspective on things

[@SevenOfSevens]

Hearing Jordan say howdy gave me like 2 more minutes on my lifespan.

[@klaythoring1326]

The way you guys love each other is just the best thing in the world; its so wonderful to see awesome people just being open and supportive of each other. One sad boys video makes up for so many sigma videos 💛

[@princessmanitari4993]

The moment Jordan said it i became so emotional and whilst typing this out the tears are coming. I'm really scared of loss, and this made me feel very heard. Thank you for the work that you all do. 9 oct it was a year ago since my teacher and friend passed and i still can't fathom at times as it was so sudden. I did lose my grandfather the year before or so, but i had grieved that already for a long time as he had alzheimers. I mainly remember him now for the fairytales, he always called me red riding hood as a joke as a kid instead of my name, and now i wear a red riding hood hoodie. (: I also feel like i experience so much it's overwhelming as i experience grief in such a heavy way, that i can't properly ever rest as too much happens. It's never 1 thing that happens.

[@TinyGhosty]

I am so sorry for your loss, Jordan. I wish you peaceful mourning and the ability to remember your Mother in all the best ways to keep her forever with you.

[@futuristic.handgun]

Jordan, I am so sorry about your mom passing. I know that she was sick for a long time, so while it wasn't sudden or unexpected, it's still very sad to hear. I haven't lost a parent, but I did lose my best friend as well as several other really good, close friends and all within the last few years. It was like back to back to back. It's so fucking hard. And I appreciate you sharing that with us and talking about grief because people usually just don't want to even though it's important to speak on. It was also so incredibly beautiful and sweet the moment you shared with Jarvis. I love so much that you guys have each other!! I just adore you both so very much and am so grateful for this podcast!! Sending all my love, -x t.🖤

[@Jennaros1ty]

Jordan, I totally understand your feelings towards the loss of a parent in the way you did. My father was sick my entire life, and the family activity grieved the loss of a person as he was alive for 23 years. When he finally passed away it was sad but also a sigh of relief knowing the pain had finally stopped but also that we could collectively heal without fear. I feel for you. I see you and I truly hope you can remember the good times and feel all the emotions that will come with a passing in a safe way. No matter how you need to heal, your fans are here. ❤

[@Gallant_Silver]

the first hour of this video hit so close to home at so many different points. I have never related to a podcast discussion as much as i have with this episode. thank you both for being so open. 💙

[@Sar_bear]

Hearing others (truly just what has been talked about on Sad Boyz) talk about grief has helped me with my own grief, and understanding what's normal. My dad died almost 3 years ago and I can relate to things both Jordan and Jarvis has said. Having the thoughts of wishing I been able to help more at the time hasn't completely gone away but it's not at as much anymore. Grief comes is waves, but it's always hard been it's at it's bigger points again. Thanks for sharing. 💖

[@samwich3292]

Damn, what a beautiful and touching first half of the podcast. I definitely also teared up when Jordan discussed the more heavy stuff, but I also related super hard to Jarvis talking about his using food as a vice for dopamine. This podcast is pretty poggers.

[@karaj1921]

Thank you for sharing about your grief. I lost my Dad when I was young too and hearing your experience made me feel seen. I don't know many others who lost a parent at a young age so hearing you talk about it helped me to not feel so alone. Thank you

[@lowtech42]

AWWW JORDAN 😭😭😭 This is the greatest episode of SB of all-time! Sorry for your loss, and the fact that you decided to share such a powerfully vulnerable moment has felt like the culmination of the last several years of this show as it's blurred the lines between entertainment and authenticity. Thank you both so much for touching not only my life but so many others so openly 💜

[@blood-soup]

this is belated but hugs hugs hugs boyz. thank you sm for this ep & all your sincere conversation. love and big ol hugs to you all

[@Adanmacreates]

Thank you both for sharing ❤ my mother passed away a couple of months ago and it was such a weird time...we had a complicated relationship but I've definitely been going in and out of depression. But I finally feel like I can let go of certain guilt or hurt I had towards my mom. Take care of yourselves fellow Sad Boyz!

[@skyisxthelimitt]

The talk about food as a way to seek dopamine and needing to do better with that without fully vilifying the food/eating on its own is like... Definitely something I'm glad to hear and relate to DEEPLY, thanks boyz

[@GenTink]

I'm so sorry Jordan. I'm sure it feels weird to have all these strangers saying things like this, but your stories about your mom were so lovely and she seemed like a wonderful person.