Salem's Lot 2024 Movie Sucks! - Spoilers!

[@MrSwinefuzz]

This movie has the same title as the novel. There's also a character named Ben and another character named Susan in it. They date. Then there's some vampire stuff. That's about where the similaries end. They ignored the vast majority of characters and their arcs, the pacing, the atmosphere, the gist of the whole goddam thing. What a shame they even call this an adaptation because it isn't at all.

[@ChristineJacobson-q2l]

The '79 version rates up there with "The Exorcist" & "The Omen" as far as movies that scared the bleep out of me. So it's no surprise any remake would fall way short. I won't waste my time🙄

[@shawnfranco3606]

The whole time I was wondering how they got out of the trunks since there were no cars in the 70-80s that had a trunk release on the inside of the trunk. Like this really annoyed me!!

[@MrSwinefuzz]

I thought the same thing. You know why the screenwriter thought it was a rad idea: he imagined the film playing in drive in theaters with the audience having a good spooky laugh at the idea that there might be vampires in the trunks of their car they're sitting in at that moment watching this piece of shit movie. So they put this incredibly stupid idea in the movie without another thought. Chat GPT would have written a better script.

[@mehwhyausername1]

VALID. how did they get out so easily.

[@mehwhyausername1]

@@MrSwinefuzz I askd it before seeing your comment and this is what it said: In Stephen King's Salem's Lot, the characters never hide in trunks to avoid sunlight. The novel, which was originally published in 1975, focuses on vampires and their ability to avoid sunlight in various other ways, such as hiding in dark places like basements or coffins. The concept of hiding in car trunks is not part of the original storyline. Regarding the grievance from fans: cars in the 1970s and 1980s typically did not have internal trunk releases, which is a key detail when considering modern interpretations of the story. Trunk release mechanisms accessible from the inside of the car or from inside the trunk itself became more common in later years, particularly as safety measures were improved. This fan criticism succeeds since internal trunk releases weren’t widely available in the era the original Salem’s Lot is set in.

[@MrSwinefuzz]

@@mehwhyausername1 sadly, this gives Warner Bros an excuse to remake their remake. Look for the AI-penned Salem's Lot soon. Utilizing deep fakes of dead actors to save money, time and trouble.

[@KnightBoy-fd1yf]

Forget you then

[@thefanwithoutaface8105]

Mark is made WAY Too competent in this movie. In the 79 movie yes he was proactive and knew more which made sense since he was a horror fan but he still screwed up and needed help, also he wasn't 11 years old, so it was easier to believe he could get himself out of those situations. Also they made Ben WAY too stupid in this movie. Takes longer for him to learn the vampires are really, isn't the one to make the Popsicle Crosses in the Hospital or even know the basic prayers to them and runs out of the church AFTER Susan is already fully turned into a vampire and needs the Doctor to save him. Not to mention wasting so much time on trying to Find Susan in the finale as opposed to just killing vampires as soon as they got there. They should've made this a mini series and polished the script a lot more.

[@Merknilash]

Yes - the way they had to make Mark some kind of DEI genius was just over the top ridiculous.

[@banefaqs8468]

Wow. What an insult to the book.

[@Jamisen22]

Salem's Lot is one of my fav Stephen King books- he creates such a creeping ominous mood throughout it, and this movie threw all of that in the garbage. "HEY VIEWERS- IT'S A VAMPIRE! Now this guy's dead, now she's dead. Yay we won!"

[@neonswitchblade]

Hollywood is lost, boys. Every last ounce of creativity has been drained from it. Studios are unwilling to put their necks on the line for anything new. Everything that has been rehashed, sucks; a reanimated corpse that pales in comparison to the original, lacking any heart.

[@philyeary8809]

Facts. This take on Salems Lot needs a well placed stake thru the heart.

[@crystalshaw8744]

I see what you did there...giggle

[@LemonHelmmet]

not just hollywood. music, movies, art... the east is killing it now. you can actually observe the downfall of the west by comparing those categories of expression

[@dougclark9921]

2:28 I was thinking, "Wow, this guy looks AI-generated," because he looked so much like LoneStar in SpaceBalls. I Googled him, and it turns out he is Bill Pullman's son. I know it's not a revelation if you knew, but I didn't.

[@ralamothe318]

I was severely disappointed in this movie cause Salem's Lot is one of my favorite Stephen King novels - BUT - aside from the cinematography, this movie sucked and everything said in this review was on point. One thing missed, was how FAST daylight seemed to disappear in this town when the cast realizes the vampires are ALL at the drive-in lot. What were they doing ALL DAY LONG? Going to every building in town and checking them? Don't know - movie doesn't care enough to tell ANYTHING that would give you any kind of information. The 1979 version of this movie was far superior. So sad.

[@DarkestStarASMR]

Please watch the 79 version. Best vampire movie ever made

[@sister_bertrille911]

I don't think it's the best, but it's scary and a whole lot of fun!

[@relaxationmeditation499]

It was so boring.

[@Fretfulbanjo]

Nosferatu begs to differ

[@mehwhyausername1]

all WRONG. Let the Right One In. the original. not let me in. reasons best: deals with prescient concerns about bullying respects the audience intelligence depicts violence and graphic detail in mature (but not unnecessarily excessive) ways long-ish though never boring best character development in any vampire movie feels grounded and realistic besides the need for the existence of a vampire beautiful (intelligent) storying-telling good performance, even from the child actors, which is super rare never relies on cheap scares

[@mehwhyausername1]

as for best vampire satire, it's probably What We Do, though I haven't seen only lovers left alive yet

[@proto-geek248]

The popsicle stick crosses are straight out of the book 🩸

[@theywouldnthavetocensormei9231]

I can't even really give a good critique of this movie because it was so damn boring I couldn't pay attention. Nothing happens. There. I saved you all some time.

[@switch1237]

😂😅

[@KnightBoy-fd1yf]

You’re boring. It was good.

[@KnightBoy-fd1yf]

@@switch1237 it was good

[@AnaMaria-wn6jn]

@@KnightBoy-fd1yfYou obviously have not read the book OR seen the original miniseries. Many of Kings works have not been done well in film adaptations.

[@KnightBoy-fd1yf]

@@AnaMaria-wn6jn no I haven’t read the book you’re right, but to me the movie was good

[@Jimbo-123]

"Pedaphilistic" 😂😂😂 Someone call Webster, we've got a new word!

[@ShadowHumor]

Hope the Asteroid comes soon. Just found out The Matrix 5 is being made....

[@switch1237]

Hilarious 😅

[@mehwhyausername1]

on the other hand, Goddard, who brought Cabin in the Woods into existence, will direct. so maybe it won't be so bad. that's a big maybe though.

[@LouScotland1976]

I literally KNEW within the first 15 seconds I was going to HATE this movie, the "creepy European" accent from Straker just had me rolling my eyes. The unnecessary character changes to two of the main characters was just pointless and woke. The acting all round was BAD, especially Susan's mother who wouldn't have been out of place in a 70s B movie. Pointless plot changes (drive-in anyone?) and bad casting. Terrible script. Awful.

[@monsterguyx]

"Homelander Junior... Your friends can call you Hoju."

[@TheDreamfinder99]

Simpsons ☺️

[@JohnMack-f3f]

Thanks for the clips. They said it all. More than I’ll ever watch again.

[@RobertParks-h7r]

I saw a secret screening in Seattle 3 months ago.about 15 - 20 people walked out 40 mn in.Awful,boring,average acting,not scary,low budget effects.

[@charlieparker5678]

I hated this movie. However, 12:01 was my favorite scene that had me cheering. That character was obnoxious af !!

[@rublesbarbasement717]

The 2004 with rob lowe was a masterpiece compared to this pile of trash.

[@cherylM.905]

That's all hollowood knows how to do now, turn established series and films into reimagined dog poop. Not to fear the original Salems Lot is free on Hulu😊

[@grantchoitz1420]

It's also on Max as well

[@darkestfugue]

the movie was terrible man, i expected it to be bad but it was even worse than i thought, however, thats not a pixie cut lol

[@susanmctavish6639]

The whole thing sounds like a horror parody like the Scary Movie franchise.

[@mustlovedogs8179]

Wait. He just went to bed after his friend was kidnapped?!

[@proto-geek248]

@@mustlovedogs8179 Having your friend kidnapped can be exhausting.

[@RandomLBS]

This should have been a 3 part 6 hour series or a 6 part mini series one hour each. It seemed rushed like the editing room cut out whole entire sections to make it one movie. i give it 2 out of 5 stars

[@finger3181]

Apparently, it was three hours and the studio cut it to shit

[@robodd4694]

They completely cut out the whole reason Ben was there, why he returned and that was the foundation of the whole story. The book/movie was NOT about the vampire although Barlow was a part of it. It was the house (and town) and what it symbolized in Kings universe which is why Barlow came to it.

[@AmityvilleFan]

This story never made sense. Barlow is undead for hundreds of year, and all the sudden creates a town-worth of vampires. What's the rush all of a sudden? Midlife crisis?

[@Merknilash]

Also why did you bother to setup a little antique shop if you're just going to kill the whole town in 48 hours?

[@AmityvilleFan]

@@Merknilash exactly.

[@Wheretheportlandorarealadiesat]

Hahaha

[@robodd4694]

This movie was an insult to King. Straker was BORING and nothing like Donald Sutherland who was truly creepy. The directer was so unimaginative that they missed an opportunity as the 2 characters were leaving the drive in the 2 movies were ??. Could have listed on that board some of Kings other books just as a cookie. And finally, but by far not the last and only amateurish/stupid scene was when the sheriff was leaving town, standing in street arguing with the Dr. You can actually see some sort of camera rope swinging into the scene. The original is a classic and I am so fed up with these writers/directors thinking they can actually improve on classics with reboots.

[@MasonGrant0704]

I watched about 45 mins of that trash and that was enough for me. I will stick with the 70's miniseries.

[@alananoelvoth7152]

Hi Adam. You took the words right out of my mouth. The best part of this adaptation of Salem's Lot is Gordon Lightfoot's song, "Sundown." ❤ Suppose I'm partial to Tobe Hooper's version of the story. Meanwhile, I didn't finish the latest movie adaptation, but I did finish listening to your thoughts on the movie and smiling the whole way. Best to you and yours. 😊 I appreciate you.

[@jonesfoxx2241]

Mark was a Marky Sue and the worst thing in this travesty of a show.

[@grumpyoldwizard]

The movie is a rubbish pile.

[@ballybunion9]

Terrible casting ... terrible writing ... terrible directing

[@alinvid6098]

The best part was the Terminator Kid 😂😂😂😂 he wss awesome. Nobody fks with that kid !

[@jamessimon3433]

The whole time i was confused at to what Ben's career is, and what town its set in. So subtle and vague.

[@mehwhyausername1]

in the original book, they use popsicle sticks and tongue depressors to create makeshift crosses, which are effective. so blame the source material for that one

[@edwardwilliams2438]

People paid for this, on a viewing platform? How much does it cost?? More like Salem's parking Lot!! What a waste of money and talent....

[@diml664]

Pixie cut? Don't you mean a bob?

[@AT-sd9qq]

I gave up after 15 minutes because the lead actor has this look on his face like he doesn't know he's in a movie. It's like he took method acting too far.

[@amos_comedies742]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@DivaClariceWilliams]

Thank you for watching it so I don't have to. I'll rewatch the original version from the 70s for Halloween instead. Hollywood legend James Mason as Straker is still an amazing performance.

[@robodd4694]

I liked Donald Sutherland's take far more. Creepy and slimy as f****.

[@RobinJohnstonphotography]

The moral is never go back to your small home town to write a book or ‘find yourself ‘.

[@upstatenoizepollution62366]

I have JUST discovered your channel sir- THANK YOU for absolutely cheering me up today! GREAT CONTENT!

[@AdamDoesMovies]

My pleasure! Hope to see you around!

[@sully85]

100K soon!!!! finally!!!

[@katyavinogradova7688]

So it looks like they have either butchered or ignored all the best parts of the book. That's just great...

[@brentmackey279]

Just the same happened with the two miniseries - especially the 1979 version

[@davegrams1438]

Movie is great. I loved it. It was fun, spooky and I fogot the original from 40 years ago, so wasn't comparing it against anything.

[@portiastgermain7170]

Same for me, it was entertaining when yer not comparing.

[@n0s0luti0n]

A minority lead in Salem's Lot! Finally! 😂

[@brucegrossman3531]

I spent my time watching the original instead.

[@gordonmilne4323]

It looks terrible. I think that'll be one to avoid. I like the 1979 version and this new film looks woeful.

[@Brandonyoungblood50]

Love your commentary. Do you write it first, read off cards, or just improvise? Would love to learn. Keep up the great videos.

[@johnharris721]

Great review!!

[@NoleFan74]

This was hilarious! Love your reviews!

[@formercakid]

If your a baby boomer like me you can have an appreciation for the drive-in scene with all the cool 60"s and 70's cars which I thought was quite creative. i saw the original when it first aired and was impressed with the realism and good acting. Did not feel this one was really that bad, thought the ending was a little anti-climactic. All in all, not a bad remake.

[@Merknilash]

I was born in 82 so I enver knew the drive in stuff but it did make me miss the America we used to have before democrats destroyed everything.

[@portiastgermain7170]

Gen Xer here, and I actually liked it as well. It was a little rushed & could’ve had more character development, but was still entertaining. I heard there is a 3hr director’s cut that may be released at some point.

[@hansr.9037]

you know I stopped watching when they visited the dead mother and DIDN´T WASTE A THOUGHT HOW THEY WOULD PROTECT THEM BEFOREHAND! I GOT SO ANGRY I STOPPED WATCHING!

[@stevedelie8145]

Great sound effects and soundtrack for this review!!

[@n0s0luti0n]

"TV Movie" is usually an insult, but so hilarious that the actual TV movie slays this garbage.

[@kristoffvideo]

Thanks!

[@AdamDoesMovies]

Thank you!

[@Tatibanana]

I mean… you made the movie sound cool tbh

[@RockNRolla1212]

I pronounce button the same way, you're good...i think the people who over enunciate the T are weirdos 1:55 Show William Sadler some damn respect! Lol

[@STAUNCHTV]

Did you just refer to William Sadler as the guy from The Mist?!?! He was wasted tho. This movie was ass

[@finger3181]

Everybody was wasted in this. The script was dreadful.

[@PapaWooody]

Your abreves are hilair! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@NominalSight]

Long time listener nevertime commenter. This is my favorite spoiler review of all time. Just watched this film with my girlfriend, glad to know others agree this film is preposterous.

[@tahnadana5435]

the rob lowe version is better, here the Ben Mears character have nothing to do with the story, the doctor who suppose to be the sceptic goes all the way with the vampires than Ben, and its a black lady, mark with all his heroic shots also a black boy

[@slayerstenis]

Super-Kid

[@Phonesavanh-dd7oh]

Not racist at all but all these movie remake now need to have black characters in it just to say they not racist . Just like how Disney remaking all the characters into black just because so they don’t look racist . But oh well too each their own . I’m Asian but I would never want Asian characters in it just because .

[@n0s0luti0n]

It is genius, because now if you don't like this trash movie they can call you names.

[@annapetryk]

I bet Asian boy would still be named Mark Petrie. Because reasons.

[@mehwhyausername1]

in the 1970s maine was 95% white and 2% black. it's kind of weird to have so many black people cast in the movie, but I think it could be plausible, too. like, we're looking at having 1 black doctor and 1 family of three people who are black. and in the 1970s people didn't marry outside their race as much. so it makes sense that both his parents are black. maybe they moved to the almost all white town for a specific job opportunity. the issue, though, I think, is that these 4 characters, especially two of them, play such crucial roles in the movie. that's why you might feel like it's forced in order to highlight theme of representation.

[@peopleschampiii584]

So your one gripe was the black kid huh? 🤔🤔 interesting

[@annepiper2947]

Sounds so dumb I liked the 70s miniseries , so glad I skipped this version

[@AnaMaria-wn6jn]

I love Even Alfre Woodard, but even she can’t save this movie. The trailer told me all I needed to know. First mistake?? It’s a movie. Story is told best as a miniseries. This was a rush job & has been edited so horribly. TONS OF MATERIAL & CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT are MISSING from this film. SUCKED!!

[@michaelnance6730]

Thank you for the review The comedic way you did it 👍GREAT

[@dangrusdoorknob]

Your review was almost faster than the storyline in the movie. Almost. I'm going to build my kids an impenetrable vampire tree house now, just in case. A few milk crates and 25 2x4s ought to keep those bastards out no problem.

[@CynicalMisanthrope-b3p]

That kid is not "homelander's boy". He isn't the kid in The Boys. That's Nicholas Crovetti. You're thinking about Cameron Crovetti, who is Nicholas's brother.

[@mehwhyausername1]

wow identical twin disaster. it's good to know about this.

[@samuelbasye3508]

A lot of things that are really wrong with this movie, or not being discussed. And I think y'all know what I mean.

[@marcperri6168]

This video was so much more enjoyable than that pile of crap film

[@SpaceVYX]

This movie sounds so terrible. It's like Monster Squad meets Fright Night. It's just so boring. I don't want to watch this movie

[@LarryFleetwood8675]

Me neither, it looks like every other new movie out there they're all just way too samey... Where's the individuality that sets this movie or any other new movie apart from each other, I don't see it I only see uniformity...

[@charlesartis]

THIS MOVIE IS LITERALLY THE ORIGIN STORY OF BLADE😂😂😂😂

[@julianrivas1224]

Comment for engagement

[@crystalshaw8744]

Endure...giggle

[@Cyberdine.Systems.Model-101]

Adam, check out the new series Teacup!

[@jameswallace756]

Loathed it!

[@bradhogan646]

Is the small harmonica bit early on like something David Lynch would put in a movie?

[@cherylM.905]

I knew it was going suck, first clue.. Hollowood sucks😂

[@lisap.1826]

I feel like several important scenes were left on the cutting floor.

[@DarkestStarASMR]

Sucks! Thanks God we still have Terrifier 3 a true 10/10

[@mauriziogiacomocolombo-sr3oe]

Horrible in every way.

[@paulwee1924dus]

Beetlejuice 2 was a better watch.

[@paulwee1924dus]

A bad movie indeed. How did the vampire used the VW beetle as a coffin??! Steve Urkel saved the day. Phuh. yak.

[@TMFellows]

Makes all gravediggers look bad.

[@michaelmiller44820]

8:30 Yeah, I mean... It worked great in the book and the previous movie as well, but sure, laugh it up... Did you do any research here? Any at all...?

[@Charlie-m6r5v]

Salem the cat from the Sabrina witch show took a ----.

[@m.a.v.6172]

I watched Salems Lot 2. So, how bad could this be.

[@MrShycity55]

Watch the 2004 mini series with rob lowe

[@brianmolina6401]

Ok i rewatched this one. And lets be ohnest this is like the clip nots if salems lot. It leaves so much out and it should be called salems free or light 1 percent movie the rest is left out. The ending was lame and sad barlow was sad and the character were chip copies. Dam why cant they just make a dam horror movie.

[@8strauss6]

I'm a huge fan of this book, which I actually read for the first time during covid. even though I've read most of Stephen King's other books growing up, I always miss this one. but for how shitty this adaptation is, what's her name can pull off that pixie cut

[@paulwee1924dus]

Beetlejuice house and overlapping this flick.

[@rageintothelight]

I liked it but it went way too fast and the end was anticlimactic

[@donatellacometa_espana8730]

Love u Adam...u frecuently make my dau😊😂🎉❤.😇

[@patanne3680]

I loved the original movie. Didn't see the mini series. Goes to show you can't keep remaking older stuff. Where are new original ideas????

[@AnaMaria-wn6jn]

I think you’re mixed up. There was a book, then the fan fave 1979 mini series with David Soul /Lance Kerwin that was the BEST. Then a reboot with Rob Lowe that tried to be funny at times. Then this garbage.

[@joshgorsky5224]

12:56 😂

[@mustlovedogs8179]

You have purdy teeth😊

[@beardedjohnson5654]

Why ask people to subscribe right at the beginning of the video? What if they don’t like your takes? Lol that being said, I agree with your takes. 😂 they should have scrapped this garbage and made a 10 episode series instead.

[@kidMaureeFromItaly]

Good if u wanna introduce your 10 years old son 2 "horror movies"

[@DamonWhitten]

Um... I actually didn't mind it- other than the 11 year old terminator.

[@bryandavismoviefan]

Isn't it an interesting cycle? Tony from Hack the Movies is jealous of your fame. Now, you are jealous of Keeping it Reel with Olyvia. I recommend checking out the channel to fuel Adam's jellyness.

[@pollyfree22]

Neeto

[@shinjiikari1989]

It's so weird even your review is meh compliant to the movie