Santa Visits the Magic Land of Mother Goose - The Cinema Snob

[@ouijacorn]

Creepy Santa: *laughs like a maniac for a solid 17 seconds* Director: Perfect! The kids'll love it.

[@Ultima64]

Dont forget that witch burning part. When this video was first taken down I honestly thought that it was due to a snuff scene that might have been missed. Truly a creepy film

[@steelygreye9187]

It's really interesting how our perception of what counts as 'creepy' and what counts as 'cute' or 'enchanting' has changed so much over the years. I wonder how this reflects on broader cultural changers.

[@vaarsuviusprime]

I'm not sure this was originally seen as cute or enchanting by most, things frequently miss the mark even for contemporaries

[@GlassesnMouthplates]

Brad taught me that 90% of Christmas special "movies" in the 60's were either someone just filming a live event, or people splicing in snuff film footages.

[@packmentalitymedia]

Coincidentally, cackling like a maniac for 35 seconds and then saying "I'll see you soooon" is also how I say good bye

[@Romeara4570]

The Cinema Snob is not the hero we need right now!

[@robo-nidai4236]

But he is the hero we deserve.

[@EclecticEnnui]

So we'll watch him. Because we can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a snarky reviewer. A caustic critic. A Cinema Snob.

[@Crrrow]

@@EclecticEnnui And more importantly he says *PCP* with an extreme closeup.

[@julieporter7805]

So....when does he change out of his geeky secret identity and turns into a superhero?🤣

[@David-cj3zz]

@@julieporter7805 Brad Tries

[@ariellakahan-harth8831]

This film is like if American Horror Story: Freak Show had a baby with the Star Wars Christmas Special!

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

That's an insult to the Star Wars Holiday Special.

[@mikewarnke404]

Ariella Kahan-Harth “im pretty sure if dukie(?)f*^%#d to catch a Sasquatch it would bring about the anti-christ”~snob What you’re suggesting? Would being forth cthuatan!

[@ArtHistoryScholar]

@@mikewarnke404 , Huh? What were you trying to say here? Is this some kind of cryptic ancient evil dead?? 😋

[@dabunnyman9133]

Christmas movies were much in demand for kiddie matinees back then. Producers would take European fairy tale films, or even local stage groups like this, add in a prelude of Santa and call it a Christmas film. Parents would dump their kids off at neighborhood theaters and the theater staff would be stuck with a bunch of kids who have no interest in the film itself.

[@PosthumanHeresy]

And that, kids, is how crack babies are made!

[@julieporter7805]

This was a trend?

[@crimsondynamo615]

@@julieporter7805 the 70’s were a questionable time

[@mrlaz9011]

not sure what's worse: this, or the brain melting garbage of youtube kids.

[@danstiver9135]

Sometimes I joke and say “this’ll give me nightmares”, but in this case I think it’s actually true!

[@Flaris]

I wasn't sure what you meant until the last part of the video. I now feel the need to barricade myself in my house to avoid that psycho Santa coming to kill me.

[@Ryodraco]

@@Flaris "I'll see you all soon! Hahahaha!" Honestly how could they have not noticed their Santa was giving the most blatant evil laugh since the Joker?

[@davidbauler3159]

It was the 1960s, so !maybe drugs were used

[@phreakazoith2237]

One and two Santa's coming for you, three and four lock your door...Forget about it. He will get all of us and we end up being stuffed into mother goose's book together with the creepy king and the cursed murder doll.

[@guillaumebabey4484]

Angry confused Cinema Snob is my favorite flavor of Cinema Snob!

[@ArtHistoryScholar]

Yes! Mine too!!

[@KRobinson-ko1ne]

My favorite flavor is Half Baked

[@sarahbush9112]

Okay, Fun in BalloonLand wasn’t that bad for me. I even dealt with Ms. Velma. But this one probably had a murder occur at one point in production and they just kept going. That’s how unsettling it is.

[@LabMatt]

7:06 It's like a KZbin Poop, where they replace the dialogue for comedic effect

[@JenMistress]

That was the best Joker I've ever seen. What? It's supposed to be Santa? Thought the Joker was dressing up for Christmas in Gotham. 😉

[@Flaris]

This Santa is utterly terrifying...

[@MFields2178]

Where the hell are you finding these movies? Most importantly, how are you able to sit through them?

[@KRhetor]

This is available from Something Weird. It's impossible to sit through it, although I've tried; it's one of the absolute worst films I've ever seen.

[@v.m.9198]

That doll woman is simultaneously more accurate and scarier than he real annabell doll

[@ryandowney8743]

It says a lot when Crankor has a more jolly laugh than Santa!

[@006Cronos]

5:28 Welp, now we know where the director of The Babadook got her inspiration for the most terrifying scene in the film.

[@erinbrady9444]

*her inspiration

[@starless1444]

Brad Jones is the best KZbinr. He's the best because he works hard and deserves recognition.

[@justindenney-hall5875]

DAMN STRAIGHT !!!

[@Clay3613]

He should have at least 300K subs by now.

[@SewerTapes]

Merlin was always my favorite Mother Goose character. . . wait. . . what?

[@Nedzilla345]

Merlin must be loaned to Mother Goose when he's not helping Santa fight Satan from the safety of Santa's floating golden palace.

[@crimsondynamo615]

What is with these shitty Santa movies bringing Merlin in them

[@SewerTapes]

@Shape Shifting Is it Santa?

[@JoeyJ0J0]

This feels like a snuff film

[@angrysporkgoddess8224]

I know right I also feel like I'm cursed after witnessing this

[@Advent3546]

Considering its director that's to be expected

[@sadpotatochip5930]

Joey JoJo wait, you’re telling me that this ISN’T a snuff film?

[@MrMojo23100]

Joey JoJo well that explains my erection.

[@EddieHawkinsII]

Joey JoJo Filmed in a high school gymnasium... WHERE LIFE IS CHEAP!

[@Ukiby3000]

I'm 30 years old and I'm scared Santa is going to appear at the end of my bed in the middle of the night!! Imagine showing this to a child!

[@puffythedestroyer8878]

you know your in for something when the costumes give you Fun in BalloonLand vibes....

[@floydian06]

"I've said it once, and I'll say it again: STOP FUCKING THE BALLOONS!" I just about fell out of my chair laughing. Brad, that was a great call back!

[@Thrakus]

Stephen King need to take notes here as this is how you make balloons scary.

[@PaceBreaker]

Pure unadulterated nightmare fuel... Merry Christmas!

[@mathieuleader8601]

Raggedy Anne more like genderswapped Pennywise

[@smjaiteh]

This... is Christmas in America 😔

[@TheKlipparn]

Christmas in America... would not be complete without the great American Indian tribes.. celebrating the birthday of Jesus.

[@OlEgSaS32]

in the 60s, Sambou...in the 60s, thats what Vietnam did to us

[@ferzum7290]

[Insert sounds dog] but according to miss velma its a racoon

[@chibikim77]

@@TheKlipparn dont forget the firing of live ammo on stage, along with her 40 year old "youth" singers.

[@MegaManXPoweredUp]

I can hear this comment and it terrifies me.

[@kellygallagher7148]

This looks like one of those videos where anyone who watches it mysteriously dies a week later.

[@Tareltonlives]

Yes! Another acid-trip of a Christmas special!

[@Tareltonlives]

This is so almost Balloon Land

[@EddieHawkinsII]

How did they get my deepest, darkest nightmares on film?

[@Quandry1]

They watch you sleep.

[@Ultima64]

And they can time travel

[@tskmaster3837]

"Ha, a terrible Christmas movie directed by H G Lewis, the 'brain' behind Monster a Go Go, what a great joke..." No, it's real? And the sound quality is just as good as his masterwreck.

[@koenvandamme6901]

At least no one had to imitate the sound of a ringing phone in this one.

[@DinosaurFan88]

It's like Herschell Gordon Lewis was channeling those terrifying Mexican children films that were distributed by K. Gordon Murray.

[@Kitnighty]

6:50 I don't know if Snob knows this, but, funny coincidence, that; the real-life Annabelle that the films are based on is, in fact...a Raggedy Ann doll.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Cool Horror Story Bro.

[@Kitnighty]

@@TommyDeonauthsArchives its super scury :O

[@theblocksays]

"You thought I was asleep didn't ho ho Ho HO HO HO....acting ho ho he he he he he ho ho ho I'LL SEE YOU SOON ho ho ho ho!"

[@Jaytheradical]

When Santa describes unwinding and relaxing after a long day's work, I swear it looks like he's holding a pipe.

[@phreakazoith2237]

"I love the smell of burning witches in the morning" with Wagner's Valkyrie playing in the background

[@ranchoth]

Judging by his skin pallor, either the film stock's color was a bit "off," or Santa is actually an animated corpse. Maybe it was both. That, or they cut out the take where he was shilling his new Smilex™ eggnog. "Chances are, you've bought it already!" But still, it's good to see the Ragdoll went on to star in Juan Piquer Simon films.

[@jsb8261]

Santa's good dream involves someone being burned alive? What?!?!

[@LupineShadowOmega]

He making a list and checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty or nice. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T BE NAUGHTY...

[@davidbauler3159]

Everyone is naughty! Filty! Dirty! Naughty

[@jsb8261]

LupineShadowOmega Whatever for? (sarcasm)

[@LupineShadowOmega]

@@jsb8261 you better watch out, I'm telling you why...SANTA CLAUS is COMING to town...

[@lhaviland8602]

Where else do you think he gets all his coal??

[@ShadeMeadows]

The "Weird-as-Heck" Christmas movies are back in the Snob's Stockings!🎄🎁

[@TheBattlesword]

So when do they force feed Mother Goose and throw the resultant pâté at the audience?

[@TheRealNormanBates]

@Brandon Roberts He said _pâté_ !

[@MichaelMartinez-ji8mz]

At the end his laughter reminds me of Jack Nickleson Joker from Tim Burton's Batman!

[@ZC-Infinity]

I always thought Uncle Remus and Santa Claus were the same person!

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Zip a Dee D'oh! Da!

[@TheMouseAvenger]

Don't you mean "Jingle Bell Doo-Dah"? :-)

[@cultclassicdeadinside9862]

this movie is so creepy it'd fit right in with Adult Swim programming

[@anowhereguy2521]

Well.... It's still less creepy than Christmas with the Kranks....

[@justindenney-hall5875]

Or "Once Upon A Girl" lol.

[@AdmiralAwsm]

Christmas with the Kranks is the most awful, mean-spirited Christmas movie I've ever seen. It's awful.

[@justindenney-hall5875]

@@AdmiralAwsm Funny, that's exactly how I feel about "a christmas story".

[@AdmiralAwsm]

Agreed. I can't stand A Christmas Story

[@justindenney-hall5875]

@@AdmiralAwsm Finally, I thought I was the only one.

[@slutsandguts8146]

Why do you do this to us? It hurts to watch, but I feel compelled to do so, as a completionist.

[@dragonempress8367]

@Brandon Roberts I kept seeing you everywhere

[@julieporter7805]

We were naughty last year, this is two hours worth of coal.

[@davidmatoushek9111]

H. G. Lewis has such an interesting filmography, doesn’t he?

[@ZombieDragQueen]

And here I thought this would replace my tradition of viewing "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" (fun fact, in Sweden it was called "Jultomten fixar allt!" roughly translated to "Santa Gets Shit Done!") on Christmas Eve.

[@nicklager1666]

Yes finally we see this season headwear from the snob. I still prefer the yellow one from a few seasons back.

[@lowenergyvideos4658]

"And yes, I remember Casper and the Angels" THEN WHY DON'T YOU SAY JUMPIN' JUPITER!?!....you promised!

[@IsaacMayerCreativeWorks]

5:10 Only on The Cinema Snob is "I've said it once and I'll say it again: stop fucking the balloons" a completely true statement

[@coolnerdlll6053]

"This is one Santa that makes the elves fight to the death and the winner gets to f**k him!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@alexandergiandettore]

“IT’S CHEST HAIR AND A DICK.” I really needed that laugh. Thank you.

[@cryptidmalewife]

That doll looks like the creepy masked kid in Guillermo del Toro's the Orphanage.

[@SkolneyVikings]

This is the only Christmas movie the Grinch was allowed to watch while growing up. That's why he hates Christmas.

[@POLE7645]

Why does Santa's face look like a skull?

[@Headbanger142]

I could say the same for Raggedy Ann...

[@kayhaven4710]

The terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE lighting that is helping to create these nightmares.

[@AnInsideJoke]

Because H.G. Lewis. I'd say just be happy it wasn't actually a full snuff film, buuuut the part with the witch.....

[@davidbauler3159]

Drugs. The answer is drugs.

[@michellewarns2778]

Hey, the plays/ actors at my high school were freaking awesome and they still are. The athletes on the other hand.....

[@michellewarns2778]

Well, I was in Stage Crew and I saw that not ALL of the guys were gay.

[@ewanedwards6822]

only by watching the Cinema snob will you find scarier movies around December instead of October.

[@TheTrueJBru]

11:34 "You're too late, Link. I've sent Princess Zelda to the Dark World. MUE HE HE HE!"

[@WraithTDK]

I love how Merlin appears, THEN the smoke goes off and he walks in.

[@mindlessgonzo]

Cool! It's back from the evil copyright abusers!

[@josephblumenberg6574]

We love a festive Snob!

[@gyromurphy]

Dude...for real wtf were they thinking with that doll's spooky ass face?

[@JamiJR]

She's supposed to be a Raggedy Ann Doll.

[@gyromurphy]

@@JamiJR that makes it more horrifying for some reason

[@LupineShadowOmega]

@@gyromurphy probably because as someone pointed out. That Annabelle joke hit the target. The real Annabelle is a raggedy ann doll.

[@03bgood]

I remember when I was only 2 or 3 years old, I had a live-action VHS tape about Mother Goose and her giant goose who always wanted ,porridge. It was my earliest memory. The Cinema Snob should totally review that! It was called "The Mother Goose Video Treasury" or something like that. It was from the late 80s. This would've been in 1990-1991 when I was only 2-3 years old. I remember the "Jack jumped over the candlestick" song.

[@RichardWatt]

Now you're making me feel old - I was 16-17 at that time 😊

[@crimsondynamo615]

The doll’s face looks like a Mondas Cyberman and that horrifies me

[@Daminite]

How was this never sampled into a metal music video?

[@MrChaotic4]

Where does he get his onesies?

[@davidbauler3159]

At a store?

[@julieporter7805]

Why are you asking?

[@DiegoAlvarezBeltran1993.]

I.. I feel like this is supremely illegal. Like, someone probably filmed this in his basement? Snob, what did you stumble into?

[@Musicradio77Network]

2:58 is the music from Commonwealth United and the NTA logo.

[@chimerschang]

7:03 I was once visited by an alien species, they referred to me as *HOOelaAaAuGHEeAGUHeEE* I've never been able to unhear or unsee that.

[@ferzum7290]

This a crossover movie, reviewed by the snob so can i hope santa and miss goose will fight a cgi troll with a spear

[@earthhound]

Or a purple Homer Simpson with a shiny glove.

[@gyromurphy]

That's a nice hat

[@ferzum7290]

@@gyromurphy thank you is also a small hat

[@RobAGabor]

I got an ad for the National Theater's version of Beautiful: The Carole King Story. KZbin must know that the Cinema Snob used one of her songs in his "I Spit on Your Grave" review.

[@lhaviland8602]

They didn't even check to see if she floated first!

[@LaPimpernelle]

As a musical theater dork, I'd love to hear the duet between Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty. It might be the one somewhat salvageable thing about this trainwreck.

[@donaldpetkus1637]

On the other 🤚 hand, you might have been terribly disappointed.

[@DanRudy]

Man, "Albert Fish Santa Claus" really made me throw my head back! That was a good'n.

[@mathieuleader8601]

that was not Santa twas the Crimson King

[@crimsondynamo615]

Mathieu Leader when is the anti depressant spunk gonna kill the bastard

[@joshchelf7729]

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

[@bqw2094]

Cinema snob you GOTTA review the adult animated series called stripperella , it was a animated series created by Stan Lee and it starred pamela Anderson, anybody know what I'm talking about. Snob you also should review Rob zombies the haunted world of el superbeasto.

[@clapattack7235]

Yes!! Back when Spike TV first launched. I remember it being terrrrrible.

[@bqw2094]

@@clapattack7235 yeah the show sucked but when it came to stripperella the character, man she was sexy.

[@clapattack7235]

Indeed, it made me think that Barb Wire became an even sleazier superhero.

[@bqw2094]

@@clapattack7235 you probably don't remember this, but there was this thing they always did in the show that pissed me off, the show had uncensored animated nudity, meaning you would see tits and ass, but when it came to stripperella, the main character, they would purposely censor her boobs and tease the viewer , I hated when they did that.

[@clapattack7235]

I vaguely remember all that. I was in high school at the time so I would have been the target audience, lol.

[@Ukiby3000]

Already commented on this vid before but the "Ah, he's staring at pictures of his victims!" sent my sides into orbit 😂😂

[@bfoot869007]

@ the 6:39 mark..."I'm a juggler!" LMFAO hahahahahaha

[@kaylacolgan]

I lost it when you said, “Dion.” 😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂

[@Account_Not_Applicable]

i thought Herschell Gordon Lewis's name sounded familiar, but I wasn't sure from where until you showed the title card for "Black Love."

[@jadenova]

*raises hand sheepishly* How much chest hair?

[@justindenney-hall5875]

Watch The Midnight Screenings Review of Smurfs 2 lol.

[@justindenney-hall5875]

@@missbeverly6846 "We look like extras from the ritz !"

[@danielgertler5976]

When he mentioned fun in balloon land I had to pause this episode to go rewatch the parade bit. Most laughs per minute I've ever had from this show.

[@tmamone83]

I feel like the Raggedy Ann doll knock-off is gonna show up at my house and kill me with an axe.

[@xxGhostXIIIxx]

an early Christmas present with the cinema scrooge oh ho you spoil us brad!

[@krystalfan]

wow it begins yet again

[@carribob1992]

This episode is mainly the Snob getting gradually and angerly confused and I am all for it.

[@mathieuleader8601]

a very festive fanfiction

[@guillaumebabey4484]

And my fucking God that Santa was the scariest one in History!

[@jonathanwarrdddedcxddeecec4787]

Nobody showed up to their play, but they had a camera, so they turned it into a movie. And to make a long story short then Santa killed them

[@svartfrasr9755]

Why does Raggedy Ann look like she skinned Pennywise and is now wearing him...?

[@hunterwilder9665]

This makes Ms. Velma’s Most Incredibly Magnificent Christmas Week look as innocent and wholesome as A Charlie Brown Christmas

[@Enshohma]

Why does Merlin keep appearing in Christmas crap-fests!?!?

[@EddieHawkinsII]

19:29 So Santa is Billy Lee from Bad Times at the El Royale?

[@leannerose6181]

"Tone it down,dancing Caligula!!" ^^

[@kaylacolgan]

Merry Christmas Cinema Snob.

[@justindenney-hall5875]

(Ahem) I believe you mean happy holidays Cinema Scrooge lol.

[@janebyrne6463]

I would love to know if Rifftrax or MST3K ever did a riff on this film. This is so wrongheaded in so many ways, proof that it's possible to insult a young child's intelligence.

[@randalgraves6979]

Your my present this year 😳 That’s a thing I just said.

[@mikewarnke404]

You know, for kids! A “FAMILY” picture!

[@TheAllSeeingEye2468]

i really want to know the how and why this film was made and why no one tracked down the people that stared in it and made it!

[@wjzav1971]

Pffff, this isn't Santa Claus. We all know that Santa Claus was some guy in the Middle Ages who beat other bishops up because they didn't believe enough. Seriously guys.

[@ferzum7290]

Also dont forget the sassy female companion, who ask him if he get his rage out of his system