Marci X - The Cinema Snob

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Website: www.thecinemasn...
Twitter: @thecinemasnob
Writer and Creator: Brad Jones
Illustration: Shaun Millington
Theme Song: Sad Panda
End Stinger: The ToonWerks
The Cinema Snob concludes Friendsuary by reviewing Marci X.

[@demh7823]

"I don't know why so many people were excited for 'Black Panther', I mean you already had 'Marci X'. " I can't stop laughing.

[@DivideandConquerCichlidKeeping]

I know that was epic.

[@DivideandConquerCichlidKeeping]

Gold

[@TheArtkaw]

Kudrow rapping about designer bags. I can see why she suffered depression in her later years.

[@BurningOutBass]

Oh boy, can't wait for the remake starring Amy Schumer and Kevin Hart

[@GasmaskAvenger]

But Kevin Hart already remade this with Will Ferrell.

[@mathieuleader8601]

RIDE ALONG

[@LittleMissLounge]

I hate how plausible this is lmao.

[@PaceBreaker]

You fool! What have you done?!

[@comixproviderftw_02]

DON'T GIVE THEM IDEAS!

[@Flaris]

Just...that was a poor choice by a lot of people in the film industry.

[@planescaped]

I don't think I have ever seen a movie portray black people so badly and yet be so unawares of what they are doing...

[@Ektalon]

You, sir, have been promoted to Captain Understatement.

[@TheFaithb420]

One of these days, God willing, I WILL see Jane Krakowski in a decent film :/

[@BatCritic21]

"It's like watching Veggietales and then halfway through they fuck!" Ummm...that's pretty much the plot of Sausage Party

[@destroyerblackdragon]

They don't fuck until the end of Sausage party. It was suppose to be a satire of all the dance numbers that happen at the end of kids movies these days. Like Shrek 2 and Despicable me.

[@travisdelafuente1150]

@@destroyerblackdragon Don't forget Shrek 1 which practically started the whole song/dance numbers for animated movies.

[@MrLucasD123]

"How do we get Friends to become more popular in the black community?" "I have an idea!"

[@Thegr8MC]

If I didn't know before hand, I would have thought it was the director of this movie who said "I have a great relationship with the blacks".

[@DasKame]

Vanilla Ice Agree

[@TheRealNormanBates]

Tarantino directed this?

[@ReelNinja1]

Monroville Donald Trump...when has Tarantino ever said that?

[@TheRealNormanBates]

Have you been paying attention to QT's career? Hell, just when he did DJANGO UNCHAINED he was Pander City. Google is your friend.

[@ReelNinja1]

Monroville one film about slavery and QT is friends with all black people? Lol that quote was clearly taken from Donald Trump aka Mr. "Look at my African American friend over there!"

[@mattiecastillo2683]

While Ed felt like a fake movie Joey would be in, this feels like a fake movie that Jenna Maroney and Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock would be in.

[@e11aguru]

This does look like a movie made in 1993 and then shelved for 10 years.

[@tonypeppercorn3818]

What's hilarious is that even in 1993 the rap music Dr. S makes would sound dated

[@LeeSixTwenty]

​@@tonypeppercorn38181991 and 1992 would be a more fitting release schedule for this film

[@NJGuy1973]

It was first pitched around 1997, from what I read.

[@StraightPunkEdge93]

Holy shit this movie would have been outdated in 1992!

[@Clay3613]

1998 was the last year this movie should've been realistically made.

[@AllisonDancerChick1982]

That's giving it too much credit. I'd say more like 1990.

[@Clay3613]

Rap was not huge in 1990. Hip Hop and New Jack were the thing at the time.

[@AllisonDancerChick1982]

That is true, but the film felt dated before Hip Hop was a big thing.

[@TheArtkaw]

1998 would be the latest for a movie like this to be made since Pop Music exploded around the time. 2003's idea of cool were McG's Charlie's Angels, Punk'd and Jackass.

[@smjaiteh]

This movie is whiter than a Kids Bop version of a rap song free-styled by American Dragon: Jake Long.

[@MrChaotic4]

Sambou Jaiteh You know Jake Long is Asian, right?

[@smjaiteh]

Jake Voronkov Yeah, but you’ve seen the show right? He sounds like he’s rapping through a filter made out of a Disney executive.

[@HiperPivociarz]

Sambou Jaiteh I still like that show

[@ranjira7893]

you forgot dubbed and edited by 4Kids

[@Thomashuxleyfan]

But is it whiter than the Buttercream Gang?

[@lunarliv4804]

"Will It Fit" is one of my favourite running gags, it always gets a laugh

[@SuperDevolution]

I find it hilarious that even a bad comedy film from 2003 was using Trump as a punchline.

[@NJGuy1973]

@@SuperDevolution Trump was a punchline in the 1980s.

[@danstiver9135]

I hope Lisa fired her agent after this.

[@SirChubbyBunny]

In the butt.

[@BaronVonQuiply]

I lost it at Sweet 'n Low Knight.

[@MrChaotic4]

I can say this with a straight face. This is the absolute worst movie that any of the Friends cast members have been in BY FAR!

[@sashamoores3528]

Splenda Knight

[@royalsilva2792]

I knew he'd have a black history month tie in!!!

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Royal Silva Yeah... but there wasn't any dogs in Marci X. Worst tie in to animal respect month or whatever it was called in the Nostalgia Chick's video about Song of the South...

[@ginnrollins211]

I wonder if Who's Your Caddy(Caddyshack 3) is gonna be the next Black History Month tie-in?

[@drnick2311]

I was fine living my life not knowing Marci X existed, but now I just don't know.

[@talynhastime9343]

I rarely feel offended for other people, but this film offends me in ways I can't describe.

[@SaurAuteur]

you know the episode will be great when it opens with a facepalm

[@JeonardShadby505]

Halfway through the review, and I can already tell: White/Caucasian/American people will come to look upon this film with shame, in the same way that the African-American community looks upon SOUL PLANE in shame. On behalf of non-asshole white people, I apologize to any black American who somehow saw this film, and as hard as we try to wash the bloody remains...THE SCARS WILL NEVER LET US FORGET.

[@chibikim77]

You can add "Who's Your Caddy" in the mix. That movie was painful to my soul.

[@mathieuleader8601]

at least Soul Plane was funny

[@mr_lrb6879]

"I've never seen anyone overcompensate with a fucking zipper!" Two words: Tetsuya Nomura. You're welcome.

[@derekkato4374]

I legit laughed out loud at "celebrate black history month by shoving the DVD box set of Roots up my ass" 😂😂

[@chrispowerfilm]

“Live action racist cartoon” - could have been the title of this film.

[@Genin99]

we could also ad homophobic to the list of this movie's sins, because the big joke with that boy band was hahahahaha they're gay.

[@notnormalyet]

Avatarass What? How are either of those movies racist?

[@happyfistcutscrap]

Lmao, itsa satire attempt from the Jewish Dominance HQ of America.

[@EssexAggiegrad2011]

@@happyfistcutscrap Except that's an antisemitic canard

[@happyfistcutscrap]

@@EssexAggiegrad2011 comedy died

[@Emberilliance]

You can totally tell that Damon Wayans isn't taking this role seriously at all: he's using the voice he used to mock his children in "My Wife and Kids." XD

[@MontyPythonFanatic2]

Oh, you know it’s gonna be good when the poster on the wall is NUKIE.

[@jonathansefcik473]

A snob review that starts with a facepalm and 10 seconds of silence? Oh boy, this'll be good!

[@heidifedor]

I can’t tell who should offended, I just know someone should be.

[@ranjira7893]

the answer is EVERYONE should be offended it insults more then a specific ethnicity it insults the intelligence of anyone who sees it >_>

[@nathanclark2424]

Heidi Fedor I'm a bit late, but it doesn't help that half of the lines sound like the start of a racial rant.

[@NJGuy1973]

Fun fact: When this idea was first pitch to the studio, the working title was "Gettin' JAPpy Wit' It" I'm not making that up.

[@ECL28E]

♪nono nono nono no♪

[@MrGared22]

What the... was it supposed to be about the Japanese instead of Black people or what?!

[@NJGuy1973]

@@MrGared22 JAP = Jewish American Princess

[@theactualTVB]

Oh shit, Brad actually mentioned KZbin Poop. *_DOWNWARD SPIRAL DOWNWARD SPIRAL DOWNWARD SPIRAL_*

[@horaciosi]

It's not the first time he mentioned KZbin Poop.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

horaciosi (Rips off mustache) IIIIIIII AAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

[@GasmaskAvenger]

The first I heard Brad mention KZbin Poop was way back in the Midnight Screening video on The Man With the Iron Fists.

[@super_shag8685]

Not even exploitation reviewers can escape

[@Kitnighty]

...wat

[@mindlessgonzo]

It's showing on The Laff Channel. And holy crap was it a bit of a hard pill to swallow.

[@moviesquad73]

Friendsuary movies ranked from Least worst to worst 4. Three to Tango 3.Ed 2. Kissing a Fool 1. Marci X

[@BlackScarabFilmZ]

So this is the movie where all the dialogue was written by Zelda Scott from that old Game Crazy training video.

[@Stefano.C]

BlackScarabFilmZ I'm thinking she was ghost rider for this film xD

[@GasmaskAvenger]

@Stefano Cueto: So she pissed out fire to create this script? We could always learn something from Nic Cage.

[@AllisonDancerChick1982]

I don't mention Zelda Scott in front of my fiancee - we watched Game Crazy and all he kept saying was "She's hot. She just needs to shutup."

[@AllisonDancerChick1982]

Couldn't possibly be, since he found me. I mean, I'm no Zelda Scott (I couldn't pull off her Game Crazy speak if my life depended on it!). It's a really bad joke. He said it mostly out of shock. We watched it weeks ago, and we're still laughing about it.

[@TheZoaric]

"ED" seems more dignified now...

[@FrenchPaul1988]

Actually, Ed comes across as the most watchable of the 4 movies spotlighted this month.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Andrew Ryan (The cold opening from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.) *Pheobe:* I AM VERY TALENTED! I'LL GO ON MY ONE HERE! (Joey just shrugs and leaves the room) *Pheobe:* You'll see... (Suddenly, Footage from the monkey's first baseball scene in "ED" is spliced in as Ed catches the ball and throws it with his rocket arm) *Pheobe:* YOU'LL ALL SE- (The baseball comes flying in to the Friends footage and hits Pheobe, causing an explosion. When the smoke clears, all that is left of Pheobe is the lower half of her now bleeding torso.) *Phelous:* _ED-ALITY!!!_

[@scitechian]

Not even the movie Ed; erectile dysfunction is more dignified than this movie.

[@MamaMOB]

This review made me go out and buy this movie. I am now the VERY proud owner of Marcy X on DVD!

[@TheKML777]

"A lot of people getting brutally murdered". Ah perfect, another collaboration of Estus Pirkle and Ron Ormond.

[@marikotrue3488]

Occasionally the pitch and subsequent corporate discussion approving said pitch, is probably more interesting than the final product. I feel that this movie proves my thesis. Thank you Cinema Snob for adding this treasure to this month's last gasp of the wonderful wild world of Friendsuary.

[@DragonslayerProd]

The best jokes in this entire theme month are those involving the Friends characters reacting to their own movies.

[@namegoeshere5220]

I almost feel like I am owed an apology from someone for this movie. It hurts my souls...

[@Niinkai]

Firing live ammunition on a stage is something only Miss Velma can get away with.

[@Tronnyverse]

Oh god! Don't tell me Marci X is a reference to Malcolm X, noooooooooo whyyyyy XD

[@OttoVonGarfield]

Looking at the quality of the writing here, of course it was.

[@TempusFugit78]

I completely forgot that this movie even existed. Gee, I wonder why.

[@MrChaotic4]

From the moment he mentioned that Chris Rock turned this movie down, I knew this was going to hurt.

[@MrChaotic4]

Chris Rock said no to this? Oh man. Grown Ups? Done. Bad Company? Done. Dr Doolittle? Done. Marci X? I don't think so.

[@billjacobs521]

One of those is not like the others.

[@MrChaotic4]

Wrath's Heinous Anus Was Devoured by Happy Scrappy, Yes but Chris Rock was in it so my point still stands.

[@TheSeptet]

Chris Rock was the hamster in Dr. Doolittle.

[@Launchpad05]

@Raymond Frand Snob needs to review THAT sometime.

[@ginnrollins211]

Don't forget The Longest Yard remake.

[@gracekim25]

This was made in 2003?!😱

[@TheArtkaw]

Explains the boyband references.

[@DasKame]

Vanilla Ice was not in it, i think so

[@crystalvoodoo91]

Russell Hunter It was finished in 2000 actually.

[@LammasuRex]

So it's not a result of Post 9/11 trauma

[@BobbiVrrcetti217]

Pre 9/11 Hollywood was a strange place leading up to the event. And was the only time this steaming pile of dogshit could've been made.

[@Nickman826]

Yay a Buswhacked gag! Now we just need Rap Critic to review one of the raps in this movie

[@adamcheek2244]

One of the best parts of my week. Monday whenever a Snob episode drops.

[@alexanderalonso6137]

This has 'Ivanka X' written all over it!

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

I think Marci would have rapped better if she had a cold like Pheobe in that Friends episode... Also, the Latino woman that pulled the gun at the club never gets a comeuppance! It's like they ran out of movie!

[@travisdelafuente1150]

Wow this is making Ed, Kissing a Fool and Three to Tango look Oscar-worthy in comparison!

[@brokenskarecord]

I had a perpetual cringe-face the entire time.

[@LaNoLaCola]

Now I wasn't expecting a Gay Jesus cameo. I wonder if brad will make him a recurring gag character a la Eddie from Rosie Rabbit? And now who was expecting Will it Fit? as the Snob's way to celebrate Black History Month?

[@talkinghoorse6936]

You know this month has been god-awful when the best movie Brad's covered in it is Three to Tango.

[@MrKahlerHahn]

ok.... when the "purserap" was going was the first time in year I went "wooooooow" so loud my fiance woke up

[@edisonmichael6345]

What an oddly specific thing to have happened before. :-D

[@jakewestbrook3214]

wow... one of the most painful ones you've done yet.

[@farcry223]

Well this was certainly an interesting episode

[@4Legacy]

"If the writers of The Brady Bunch penned an episode of Fresh Prince" should really be the tagline for this movie.

[@michaelsimpson1224]

My inner LOTR fanboy found the Into the West joke way too funny, 11/10 would laugh too loud in public again.

[@LabMatt]

Damon Wayans, why?

[@pouletsept5099]

Omg that dance scene in the middle.. Ow.. I never thought a movie could put me through physical pain again like "127 hours" did but cinima snob, you found it.

[@theactualTVB]

24:20 *BUSHWHACK* *_FEVER_*

[@CthulhuianBunny]

Did anybody else get an ad for "Unsolved: The Murders of Tupac & the Notorious B.I.G." in the middle of this review?

[@carybeweary7209]

CthulhuianBunny this movie is a bigger crime against rap than biggie or Tupac deaths.

[@lunayoshi]

13:08 Oh god, I thought Brad dubbed that over as a joke for a second. But then it kept going. And it was real. It was a different time back then.

[@xxvaltielxx1789]

I saw a Snob upload, i clicked on the video, then that expression appeared 0:00 and i insta liked xD

[@NavySharkz]

I'm sorry but I laughed my ass off when that girl got stabbed with the fork and shouted "Stop it!"

[@TheWingless]

If ever you want to measure how much progress has been made, imagine trying to get this greenlit in 2018.

[@powermanx87]

I saw this movie about seven or eight years ago and my mind has worked tirelessly since to purge it from my memory...this brought all of that back like a vietnam flashback.

[@GanguroKonata]

So this is the much lauded white people don't get black people movie I've hungered for

[@zoisite_moon2828]

I’d just like to point out that this movie was made in 2000 and then released three years later to capitalize on Lisa Kudrow’s fame while “Friends” was airing its final season.

[@LokDesaad6]

What a way to end Black History Month.

[@TheGlitched64]

"This remake of the Lion King sucks!" And on that day a studio somewhere said hold my beer and took a year off to prove, it could be done worse.

[@noahmessarge]

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Cinema Snob. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of bad Christian movies most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Brad's cynical outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation his personal philosophy draws heavily from Hitler , for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence, people who dislike The Cinema Snob truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Brad's existential catchphrase "This Movie Is Shit" which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Michael Stevens’ genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I do have a The Cinema Snob tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

[@adamcheek2244]

TO-BY FAAAIR

[@jonathansefcik473]

Adam Cheek ACTUAL-LEE Its spelled Tobe Fair.

[@gracekim25]

Noah Messarge that meme quote is getting old

[@adamcheek2244]

ACTUAL-LEE thank you for the correction of TO-BE FAAIR haha

[@Madriddler]

I can say one thing.... this movie really makes me want to listen to the backstreet boys again. Love them when I was growing.

[@Launchpad05]

I don't know which 'Lion King' remake is worse. 'Marci X', or the 'Lion King' remake that's currently in theaters.

[@kelvinwilliams4651]

Hey Brad, I have an idea for your next themed month. You could review Dario Argento films for October. You can call it Argentober.

[@StonedGremlinProductions]

Argentober is a great name, and I've thought about that, but right now there's too many obligation October movies. But maybe when I'm out of Michael Myers Halloween movies to do, I could do that.

[@kelvinwilliams4651]

Awesome!

[@GasmaskAvenger]

and before that, Brad could do Lenzitember. A month dedicated to everyone's favorite cranky Italian exploitation director with a chip on his shoulder.

[@thealchemist51]

I would love to hear what the actors would think now years later about this movie

[@LaNoLaCola]

Now which was worst: this or Kissing a Fool

[@LaNoLaCola]

Brandon Roberts one things for sure, Sex in the City 2 is looking immensely better than Marci X

[@winewithout8454]

AnonJl1 At least Sex in the City 2 had a semi followable plot. I don't even know what's happening in this movie.

[@goldensloth7]

this for sure

[@FrenchPaul1988]

Three to Tango and Kissing a Fool being more or less the same crap, I understand you leaving TTT out. Anyway, Ed and the aforementionned Sex in the City 2 are the better movies of the bunch, even though they still suck.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

AnonJl1 ALL THREE! Because Three to Tango certainly wasn't godawful...

[@cenakruegerlover]

Glad to see you finally do a Frank Sr. reference, since you didn't make one in the last one. Petition to bring back Friendsuary. The Object of my Affection must be put in your hands.

[@louist.sanville4445]

13:53 I can't help but to feel like this was a slave auction low-key. It's like the one in Get Out except it's trying to be funny. I understand it's for charity, but I can't help but to notice it.

[@1Hol1Tiger]

That's pretty much exactly what it felt like.... I'm gonna give the film the benefit of the doubt and say they honestly wrote that with the intention of it being humorous and empowering (because it plays up the sexual appeal of teh character), but no one got the implication because no one who wasn't a whiter than sour scream suit who hadn't even seen a black person since before they turned 50. ....Have you wondered why Transpeople hate it when Cis Writers get Cis Directors to cast Cis Actors in their Pro-LGBT documentary... because they always seem to be full of cringy shit similar to this when no one of the minority being "empowered" is called to have any creative input on the damn thing.

[@pentelegomenon1175]

Instead of actually releasing this movie, they should have used it to blackmail everyone who starred in it.

[@agentleman4610]

This is definitely one of those movies where if you're friend genuinely likes it and owns it you have two options before you: completely severing ties with that friend, or staging an immediate intervention. Either way, it's going to be painful and the memories that this is a thing will haunt you forever.

[@interfrastically]

Richard Benjamin directed this disaster? Quark, how could you do this to us?!? He directed My Favorite Year and Mermaids.... but then he also seems to have directed this and Milk Money. I wonder if he has an evil (and incompetent) twin that takes his identity from time to time?

[@TheSeptet]

"Why isn't her agent stopping this?" I get the feeling Lisa was being blackmailed to appear in this film.

[@LittleMissLounge]

So, is this better or worse that the 2003 Razzies "winner" Gigli?

[@StonedGremlinProductions]

It's way worse. I didn't think Gigli was that bad.

[@TheKML777]

As someone who has seen Gigli in its entirety, I can tell that Marci X is at least a hundred times cringier than Gigli.

[@whenfatkillsfat803]

@@StonedGremlinProductions Yeah, that Nukie poster gives it away on your thoughts. Big hint there.

[@ginnrollins211]

I would rather watch Gigli.

[@dcvalentine1]

Brad you should do a live cinema snob episode, where we can watch along. That'd be awesome.

[@quinnzykir]

6:16 at least she brought chocolates. Last time I was in the hospital I only got stitches

[@halkitchen1838]

13:10 that joke actually aged amazingly well!

[@zerocool0510]

Brad, I'm surprised you didn't make 90's slasher themed month where you talk about movies like Urban Legend, Valentine, Soul Survivors etc. given how you dislike the Scream movies. Any chance of us seeing that in the future?

[@synchronizedelbow5702]

"Marci X...from the producers who were beaten by Pootie Tang by two years." Edit: It just dawned on me that Damon Waynes, who was in Spike Lee's Bamboozled in 2000, isn't feeling any irony in this film.

[@rgoodwyn]

Ahh that was a nice deep cut on the Miss Cleo reference. Well done sir.

[@venomouslizards]

What happened to all of the Cinema Snob's older videos on the Stoned Gremlins Production website? I went back on to re watch them, and I found that they were all gone. Do you know of any other places that I can watch them on if they don't ever get re uploaded. Thanks.

[@Gambit771]

Phoebes song in place of the rap was just perfect and I hope Christmas will be snowy for Joey.

[@GasmaskAvenger]

Easily the best of the Friendsuary reviews, i'd say.

[@MamaMOB]

OK I HAVE to see this movie. I have a feeling it's going to be a guilty pleasure.

[@dunes8817]

So it's basically "Hello Fellow _: The Movie"?

[@boraxkid1097]

It's a REAL bad sign when you can't tell if they're satirizing a subject- or genuinly upset about it.

[@1Maenad]

OMG!!! I can't even watch this review all the way through. Mental anguish and physical pain.

[@Launchpad05]

I remember when they canceled The Oscars over the break up of 'RobStew'. 😠 'STOP PICKING ON EDWARD, AND BELLA! WHAAA, HAAAH, HAAAAH, HAAAAAAAAA!'

[@FunnehRabbitMan]

That feeling when you're happy it's almost over, then you see the Cinema Snob card and realize it's only been fifteen minutes.

[@DasKame]

So they call Lisa Kudrow if Fran Drescher turns down a Role???

[@subtlebluntduality5997]

Why do I get the feeling that the next movie he reviews is a Death Wish sequel because of the Death Wish remake coming out this weekend. Prediction: It's Death Wish 3!

[@chibikim77]

I hope so. I watched The Best of the Worst's reaction to it and it was hilarious!

[@SeigiChoujin]

Thank you for reviewing this movie. Years ago... it gave my best friend cancer... this fucker's been asking for it!