Schizophrenia and the dream of feeling well.

[@neutral.chaotic]

Kimberly, I am so glad you posted this. Thank you for sharing with us. I have this dream too, and I also have a lot of "pipe dreams" (unattainable desires, goals, plans). I have bipolar 1 and I can experience psychotic symptoms. This video made me cry. I feel your pain. The dream of being well. The dream of being able to be spontaneous, travel the world, have lots of friends or a chosen family someday. My condition isolates me and requires me to be in strict routine. I've scared a lot of beloved friends away simply because of stigma and fear, which hurts, because I am more dangerous to myself than anyone else. My condition makes me feel like a constant burden. I grieve the woman I thought I could be. I grieve the woman that I know I can't become. My life has shrunk. I live in a room. I do go outside, I do things, grocery shop, attend support groups, go on walks. Women think I'm "two-faced" and men think I'm "crazy (derogatory)". I feel you Kimberly. So deeply. Such a simple wish. 🫂❤️

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

oh wow thank you and thank you for putting the thoughts into words for me, grieving the woman I thought I would be is such a good wording for how I feel. I wish you the best and again thank you! take care. 💚🫂

[@hallyandhidalgo]

Your videos are art. Writing outside, in the fall, beautiful hair flying in the wind. 🧡

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh wow thank you! I was so hesitant to upload this one, so thank you really! 💚

[@aleksandracatt]

This video made me cry. I hope your dream comes true. It’s also my dream living with schizophrenia.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

oh my goodness, please don't cry! But thank you! I also hope your dream of feeling well comes true. ❤‍🩹🥹

[@mannye21]

There is always a chance! I read today about 20-25% of schizophrenics stop hearing voices after about 10 years. It is possible to fully recover. Don't give up hope!

[@eggcouncil629]

@@mannye21 it's not just hearing voices with schizophrenia, it's just one of the many positive symptoms, then you have the negative symptoms and cognitive deficits. There are many, many other symptoms and types of symptoms and the negative symptoms are the most disabling and something like 80% of us with schizophrenia suffer with lifelong, chronic negative symptoms which makes recovery so difficult but not impossible

[@kimberlyrichardson2848]

You are a beautiful, extremely talented, creative young woman. Keep making these short films!♥️

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@kimberlyrichardson2848 Thank you! 💚

[@goblin1226]

This was beautiful and made me tear up 🥺

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh thank you so much! 💚🥹

[@michelles9897]

💚💚💚💖

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@michelles9897 💚

[@Daniel.S1987]

I have Schizophrenia, but my believe and knowledge about Spirituality helps me alot. Its my passion❤

[@davidwilsonBC]

@Daniel.S1987 Hi Daniel. Glad to hear you say so! I have been diagnosed but consider myself to be a human trying to acknowledge God/Truth with the benefit of so many books and videos and helping beings.. I consider the diagnosis to be deleterious, particularly when people essentially equate themselves with it! To me, we are all souls having a temporarily physical experience. And in dreams, even the physical can be obviated. I do not wear the label of this diagnosis. It is contra-indicated! 😊💗🙏

[@Delphine816]

I love you. I truly do. Just keep going. Whatever that means for you.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥹💚

[@jakubwyszynski3686]

I've been following your channel for a while now. I always come back, beacuse you are such a warm, kind and honest person. Your videos are so beautiful and so emotional. Thank you 💓

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh wow thank you, thats so kind of you to say! 🥹💚

[@asgo7320]

That was really beautiful. 😢

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@asgo7320 Thank you! 💚

[@eggcouncil629]

I haven't seen one of your videos in awhile but you look great. I have had a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia for a long time and I have had a lot of inpatient stays and i have never been symptom free but accepting i will probably never recover is horrible but helpful while still holding out realistic hope it could happen one day and trying to find and make positives out of the negatives is extremely helpful. Unfortunately, as you know, everyday is a battle though but if you give in and let the illness consume you, we will become one of the people that couldn't keep up the fight and have no functioning and nothing left of who we were before the illness

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you. so far im willing to fight I just hope as you say that the illness doesn't completely consume me. Take care! 💚

[@joanfan6324]

Thank you for sharing this.

[@davidwilsonBC]

Thank you for posting this, Kimberly. This particular 'medium' is relatively new to human history, but is an exquisite one to be sure. It serves you and the rest of us so nicely! It is definitely an art form! ( And so is your painting!) 😇💗

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you Dave! It's definitely a 'medium' I really enjoy exploring. 🥰

[@adaburzdziute2916]

I have this dream too ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Hopefully we both will achieve it! 💚

[@abdulhye5052]

Very nice.

[@LaurenAnyone]

This is really beautiful. Please keep posting. I don’t have schizophrenia, but I have been battling my own mental health issues and wish I could be as strong as you. ❤ I’m wishing you the best from Canada

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh thank you so much! 💚🥹

[@janwarriner6554]

Loved it! Keep smiling and be your sweet self! We care. ❤️

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 🥰

[@DiPlanet883]

Very nice! You are very creative. I have been struggling with schizophrenia for a long time and one of the most frustrating thing is me feeling like I’m not doing what I “ought to” be doing. If that makes sense. You are an artist for sure. Take care.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you, and yes I really relate to that as well... Take care. 💚

[@metalwhere]

Beautiful, poignant, and perfect! ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@metalwhere thank you so much!! 🥰💚

[@TheBeeLadyApiary9992]

Hi Kimbery! I loved this video. You chose a beautiful place to journal. Have you ever thought about putting a jigsaw puzzle together ? My limit is 300 pieces, and they help me tremendously when my depression is in full gear. Again, thank you for sharing your video. Take care, and as always much love to you & your kitty ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you so much! I have thought about buying some jigsaw puzzles but havent gotten there yet. so thank you for the tip! take care. 💚

[@lindah8838]

You are beautiful and your videos are wonderful. I find myself searching for something to be well too when all I needed at any given moment was to just not overthink. Thank you for capturing many of my moments and days too.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! And thank you for the advice, im definitely an over thinker... 💚

[@IngridHofmann-q9f]

What a beautiful video! I love nature and have always wanted to visit Sweden. Thank you for sharing!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much! 💚🥹

[@user77150]

Beautiful kitty! Nice video Kimberly you are a great person your schizophrenia will never limit you and everything good you have to offer. You got this!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@user77150 thank you! 🥹💚

[@user77150]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria of course!

[@user77150]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria You may or may not know, but can schizophrenia cause brain damage?

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@user77150 I have no idea but I do know it affects your cognitive function? But not sure about actual damage like that? 🤔

[@user77150]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria ohhh okay

[@maliniwales]

This is such a beautiful video. Thank you for making and sharing it. May you always have beautiful dreams and keep the vision of hope alive :)

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@maliniwales oh thank you so much ☺️💚

[@NONAME-kw3pu]

outside, in the fall, beautiful hair flying in the wind

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@NONAME-kw3pu 💚🍂🍁

[@sky2333]

You are a true artist!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh thank you so much!! 🥹💚

[@gypsyskyy9451]

Hi Kimberly, Ive read some of the comments and I agree, you're beautiful and talented, and this is a beautiful video. The music was so enchanting. Keep doing what you're doing, its really helpful to the rest of us. I too just want to be well. As old as I am now, Im wondering will it ever happen. Love ya! 🤗💜💚💛🍁🍂🍁🍂

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Hi Mary Ann, Thank you and I hope we both get there in the end, with some patience... 💚🥰🍂

[@gypsyskyy9451]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria 😍

[@PhoenixFeathers]

These short films are a work of art. I hope you make more ❤ Love seeing Edward and you giving him breakfast every morning ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much! 💚 🥹

[@witchpower-gl3wq]

The landscape is really lovely , autumn is also my favorite season of the year You make very beautiful videos like a great 😊artist

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥹💚

[@Hanna-rt1lj]

Jag har följt dig ett tag men inte kommenterat tidigare (vad jag minns). Tycker så mycket om dina vloggar ♥. Du är bäst!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@Hanna-rt1lj åh tack så jättemycket! 🥹💚

[@cynthiahurlburt2819]

Your vlog is full of beauty. As many mentioned, it is very artful. I thought what a beautiful painting, in black and white, of you sitting on the dock facing the water with your hair blowing in the wind being at peace for a span of time.. A very meaningful vlog. Thank you for sharing ! 🫂 ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@cynthiahurlburt2819 oh Thank you so much! 🥹💚

[@orangepulp392]

Amazing video, it’s so unfair you have this illness I hope life gets easier for you 🧡

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@orangepulp392 thank you! 🥹💚

[@ritini2335]

Kimberly, your videos are wonderful and are truly helping so many people deal with their mental health issues. You are an inspiration! Thank you for helping to remove the stigma around mental health.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh thank you! 🥹

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

this was very emotional for me. 💗 thank you. that's the wish: the be well 😞 you said so much in this video actually.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@Bamgeutcutiepie oh thank you so much! I thought of doing a small voiceover but it just felt wrong and I wanted the video to speak for it self… 💚

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria it really did!🫰🏻

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@Bamgeutcutiepie 💚🥹

[@salina6266]

beautiful video! it made me feel less alone. i also wish to be well from schizophrenia but i’ve been struggling with delusions lately, even though my meds were working so well :/ i hope we can both feel better

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@salina6266 thank you so much! I really hope you feel better soon too! 🥹💚

[@user-fd5ti5oq3f]

I’m glad you did x

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@user-fd5ti5oq3f thank you! 🥰💚

[@TheaLightweaver]

That was so pretty. I hope you make more of these.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@TheaLightweaver Thank you! I hope I will too 💚

[@Punna2393]

This is a feels movie.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@Punna2393 oh Thank you so much! 🥹💚

[@mikkosuhonenphotography]

Inspiring to watch! Thank you for sharing! I was just thinking what to watch before getting sleep. Really gave me a good moment to change from what I was thinking before watching 😊 Maybe tomorrow is better for you too! Goodnight

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@mikkosuhonenphotography thank you so much, sleep well 😴🥰

[@pauline_raabe]

❤ 🍂🌾🍁🌾 beautiful. Be well.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much! 💚🥰

[@pauline_raabe]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria you are welcome! Enjoy the beauty of the fall season.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@ I definitely will! 🥰

[@jenniferkskhfkejbeiduhfjsk1397]

It is my dream too , to feel Well for a long time so I can go back to study and have a job ❤🎉😢😊

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

I really wish it will come true for you! 💚

[@karenannehayes5049]

Dear Kimberly, I hope you can see the many many ways that one can be an true artiste! And that you are one! Already. On a different note, I know you are aware of Lauren Kennedy's site. And her progress this past year with the medical ketogenic diet. I know you follow keto often, and wondered if you ever considered taking on the full medical keto protocol as an experiment for yourself. An art project if ever there were one! In any case, you are wonderful just as you are. And I know how much you want to be more and more well. However you proceed, be gentle with yourself, and take good care.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much! That means so much to me so really thank you. 🥹 I actually stopped doing keto due to it being both to restrictive and my cholesterol being to high, I actually have now lowered my cholesterol to an almost normal level (with regular dieting) and i'm afraid of what a keto diet could do to impact that again. but I see what you're coming from so thank you. take care! 💚

[@PhoenixFeathers]

Lauren Kennedy is still early in her journey. And Keto isn’t for everybody.

[@karenannehayes5049]

@@PhoenixFeathers clearly

[@Bchgrlathrt]

Beautiful video

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 🥰

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

It's really excellent. You have evoked sadness and I can feel it. A peptalk: "Life entails suffering," said the Buddha. "It can always be worse," said Dr Robert Schuller. "Make your life a work of art," said Wayne Dyer. "When one door closes, another door opens. But, it's hell in the hallway." I'd say you are in the hallway right now. It will change, because life always changes. "See that river over there," said the Buddha. "Is that the same river that was there yesterday?" I have more to say because I think you have options. Life is loaded with turning points.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

I hope so too and thank you! I havent given up yet. 🥰

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria I've seen it over and over again, people try to go back to school here. They get free tuition, only have to pay for books. They start at 1/2 time and drop out. It's too much at first. I've done it myself. If they would have allowed just 1 course (1/4 time as usually you take 4 courses per semester) and built up momentum (a body in motion tends to stay in motion), I would have been fine, but they won't pay unless you go at least 1/2 time. So I propose 1/4 time for you, about 8-10 hours a week. 15 minutes every morning drawing practice with tea, more if possible and none if you just don't have it. Don't pressure yourself with catching up if you don't have it. Let it go and resume when you can. I use a 15 min sand timer. Keep a journal. Include time spent on videos as "work." In total, the equivalent of one full day, two or part of a second day if possible. The rest of the time spent taking care of yourself. Sand timers and journals are key. Sometimes it's true you have to say, "Fuck it, but I'll be back."

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@engleharddinglefester4285 thank you! Im actually looking at ways to improve my art at home currently, just for myself and my interest while I recover. great tip about the sand timer. 💚

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria I got my timers on aliexpress. I have a bunch of them, 15, 20, 30, 45, 60 I used for meditation back when I was serious about it. I did 2 hrs a day for 4 years and stopped abruptly 3 years ago. I don't know why I stopped. Now I just do little spot meditations as needed. Kept a journal and never missed a day. The longest I went was 5 hours, which is pretty good imo for just sitting there doing nothing. Meditation is good for schizophrenia too according to sources on the net. I would suggest trying it. You just sit there and let your mind go where it wants. "The mind is like a monkey, it jumps from tree to tree," said the Buddha, so it's going to bounce around anyway, at least for a while until it figures out how to slow down. It's a lot like spacing out and letting your mind go blank with a cup of tea. In fact you can do it first thing in the morning with tea on the couch. It's kind of doing something and not doing anything at the same time.

[@ullaskoglund9926]

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@ullaskoglund9926 💚

[@emmelinesprig489]

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@emmelinesprig489 💚💚💚

[@roberttravers7587]

Great video!😁

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thanks! 😁

[@sarahizmeth616]

Kimberly, if you wanna try professional film making I think you’d be excellent. Maybe try making a documentary on schizophrenia.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

I wish I could do that someday! 💚

[@chezzamaes6134]

May God help you my dear ❤️🙏🏾

[@Nicolenp94]

How long have u been fighting this battle ? Also how old were u when u were diagnosed?

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@Nicolenp94 this thing about scgizoaffective started just a few weeks ago. And I was diagnosed a year after getting ill when I was 20.

[@ElizabethHurtado-py8ur]

#schizophreniaawareness

[@LateDiagnosedAutism]

The movie was excellent I love it. I was diagnosed with Autism @ 54. I know it's not the same. I created a channel to share my experience of being late diagnosed.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 🥰