The Uglier Side of Mental Illness - my experience with schizophrenia and things we don't talk about

[@kit.e6864]

with less finances we lose out on alot of hobbies as well, since those cost money, art supplies, photography, games, music . even be social going out with friends can cost money and we might not always be able to

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

exactly! Money buys a lot of freedom and comfort unfortunately. 💔

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

I can't even leave the house without spending money. Even driving to my place where I walk uses up gas. It's hardly any at all, but it's still a little bit.

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

Having a mental illness can be seen as a sort of unfair tax. That's why we need help as we are already taxed.

[@sky2333]

Thank you for being so vulnerable. We need more people like you

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

oh thank you and thank you for watching! 🥹💚

[@curiouslyme524]

Dear Kimberly, I respect you for your courage & strength in sharing of your story. God bless you!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much! 🥰

[@frankieharvey4353]

I have 24/7 support workers, so I am continuously prompted to do things, and most of the time I don't want to do ANYTHING! The fact that you cope on your own speaks volumes. You are an inspiration to me.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh thank you Frankie! 🥹💚 I hope you're doing good, there is no shame in having support! I don't even want to think about the state my apartment would be in if my mother didn't help me from time to time! ❤️

[@vickistrouse850]

Kimberly, you are so sweet. I struggle with mental illness and schizophrenia. I am 66 years old, a widow, with a 32 year old son. You are not gross. You are ill. These struggles go hand in hand with schizophrenia. Be kind to yourself and know you are not your illness. You need support and you need to understand not to feel shamed because you need help. You are really courageous to be honest and real about your illness. Their is no shame for needing help. Your mental disability isn't obvious like the a physical disability of someone in a wheelchair who needs help taking care of. You are a wonderful advocate for us and I am very proud of you. You are in my prayers for healing and strength to overcome and know how precious you are.

[@tianachidester1566]

in the hospital its people constantly reminding you to shower to eat 😊

[@hollywebster6844]

Thank you for your bravery. Unless someone has had up close experience of mental illness, do not judge other people. You have no idea of the daily struggle for survival of those who live with serious mental illness.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

❤

[@gracelove2774]

Agreed. ❤ its a struggle daily. We are all trying our best. Dnt put down what you dont understand. ❤

[@karinbaird2499]

Sweetie you are not gross at all. You are lovely at any size.❤️❤️❤️

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 🥹❤❤❤

[@anitahood196]

Not gross graciously telling your story.

[@SchizophrenicFilms]

Yeah, your not gross at all. I know how it is having schizophrenia, you are less likely to do things that you used to normally do.

[@OnwardChristianSoldiers.]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria you are definitely a beautiful young woman and well spoken.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@OnwardChristianSoldiers. thank you! 💚

[@angelacaudill453]

I can’t imagine that anyone would think anything negative about you. You’re sharing and being vulnerable and I appreciate you.💜🌷

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥰

[@franceslock1662]

My son has this illness. He is very thin. He doesn’t get any service support. I worry about him. He is a child in an adult’s body. Don’t feel so bad. Lots of people have a cleaner, a dishwasher, a large dryer, and a 10 kg washer. All these enable people to work more. Where I live, we have rubbish bins at our back door so it’s easy and quick. Menial tasks can be obstacles to increased productivity and creativity. Don’t beat yourself up. Find work you are passionate about and delegate menial tasks.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for the advice and for sharing! 💚

[@carolvalentine8158]

I am schizophrenic and bipolar . I have found that I am good and clean showering every three days . Showering is such a challenge that showering day that is all I do , that is all that I expect from myself . Doing dishes is next to impossible . I have to use paper plates and plastic utensils . I never cook . I have my own washer and dryer and I actually enjoy doing laundry . I like hearing the machines work - working is so hard for me.... All this being said , I have really adjusted to my mental illness negative symptoms and executive dysfunction . I am a happy person .

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Hi! yes,, doing basic things can be very hard sometimes and sometimes you have to learn and use shortcuts I believe! thank you for watching! 🥰

[@kit.e6864]

every 3 days isn't too bad... it's not really good for our skin and hair to be washed everyday anyway.

[@forgottensage-o5o]

I like the sound of the washer/dryer too.

[@sand352]

Hi from Russia! Its not your fault! In fact just by living with that illness you already doing more than all other people! All that doesn't make you ugly and you are very brave for being so vulnerable

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 💖

[@rosebuddud0307]

So awesome to hear someone be honest about living with mental illness. Yes! Yes! To all these things! I struggle to shower and change my clothes often. My partner does the laundry so I could change more often but I don't want to make more work for him. Plus it's just plain hard to do. To hear someone on KZbin admit they struggle too, is just amazing. Thank you Kimberly. I have also found it difficult to maintain friendships. My partner and I don't mix with others much. But at least we have each other. Our relationship is anything but normal however. But we do laugh together and I think it's this that keeps us afloat. I wish for you more friendships and especially those which are genuine. You deserve it.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

oh thank you! 🥹❤️ I'm glad that you have support from your partner and that you care about each other! sending you both my best well wishes! ❤️❤️

[@trailurparkgurl3167]

Don’t ever feel ashamed about daily tasks that seem easy for everybody else. THEY don’t have schizophrenia like u and I. Now that I’m on the right meds and therapy I can shower every day but keeping the house clean is a huge struggle! I can usually keep the common areas clean about once a week like the living room and the kitchen, but sometimes the other areas of the house don’t get cleaned for a while. You just have to take a deep breath and take one step at a time. I have to remind myself every time I accomplish a chore that “hey I did this and I should be proud of myself”. Btw, you are so beautiful and I am so proud of you for sharing your story. Thank you

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! I hope you're well. 💚

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

My darling wife who has a high functioning schiz. takes the trash out like 2-3 times a year. The rest of the time it's up to me. Our barrel is right outside the back door :). We'll have fish or shrimp and the skin/peels can get a little bogus in short order and she can't even smell it. Loss of one's sense of smell goes along with schiz. I think I'll keep her anyway. After 40 years I might as well :) I used to have a friend who was schizophrenic. His house was sort of a hovel/hoarder house. (I know a lot of people with mental illness due to my time in 12 step meetings). One time I was over to see him and noticed an egg shell on the floor. I dropped back over 2 weeks later and the eggshell was still there. It's actually a fond memory of mine now that he's since passed away. I miss him; he was a hoot.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Glad to hear im not the only one bad with taking out the trash. 😊 Again thank you for sharing!

[@sunny4lady]

Before my diagnosis in 2018 I was super active, showered every Day, brushed my teeth twice a Day, I also biked a lot, played the piano and went to Martial arts! Now I shower every second Day, brush my teeth once a Day, dont play the piano and dont bike! My father does cook food for me, cleans my apartment, does my laundry etc. I dont have the same motivation anymore 😓

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

I'm sad to hear and I can relate, lost many hobbies and fun things because of low energy and motivation! i'm sending you my best wishes! ❤️

[@lindarosenthal6835]

I have a brother with schizophrenia and bipolar polar. This lack of self care is one of his symptoms that I, as well as his caregiver, struggle with a lot. Thank you for sharing.

[@tacoking7155]

Thank god, I'm not alone on this struggle. I have been having the worst time taking out my trash, cleaning my house, everything, literally everything and I have been having the hardest time telling my Dr & Therapist what struggles i'm having and somehow this video completely encapsulates that... They keep asking what I think are "stupid questions", like how are you doing, not direct questions! Like when was the last time you took a bath, are you taking out your trash, do you have more then one set of dishes clean, did you forget to take your medicine any since the last time we met, how long does it take for you to leave your house and get ready each day on average, how many hours a day average would you say you feel almost completely lost and pace around the house/room for literally no reason whatsoever talking to yourself... These questions to me, indicate the cognitive deficits associated with this illness sooo much more than the questions they have been asking me. I cannot be the only one that struggles answering , and it's super disappointing to see other people with this illness present so easily the symptoms i'm dealing with yet they fail completely to pick up on that.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

you are definitely not alone! 💚 and I agree with you, they very often ask about mood not how you're holding everything up! thank you for watching! 🥹💚

[@myredpencil]

There's no shame in taking out trash bags! Just like I say there's no shame in clean clothes when I just leave them in the basket for weeks. You're not a burden or any kind of unpleasant at all! My first time watching your channel, I adore your kind voice! Subscribed.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 🥹

[@cherylmiller2272]

You described my son to a "T". He is improving some, but still has a ways to go. He has a representive payee, which helps a lot. Thanks for being truthful and willing to tell it like it is. Blessings on you.. .I love your channel.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh thank you! 💚 I'm send you and your son my best wishes, it gets better! it just takes some time! ❤️

[@emmelinesprig489]

Thank you for being so bold and sharing your experience! I believe I have CPTSD, chronic depression, anxiety, and possibly Avoidant Personality Disorder (none diagnosed, because I’ve never been to therapy yet). I experience most of these struggles too. I’ve lost a tooth because it was too damaged by my hygiene neglect and bad diet. Many of my teeth are de-calcified and discolored. I feel self conscious about it sometimes. It’s an outward signal of how depleted I have been inside. I’ve lost most of my friends because of my self isolation. One step at a time. I’ll probably always struggle with caring for myself and with maintaining relationships, and that’s ok. We need more time and support than typical people, and anyone who shames us for that is ignorant and irrelevant. Even most typical people really need more support than they are given.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 🥰 and yes, I believe you have to learn to live with your illnesses and remember that it will become easier with time 🥰

[@alpage9306]

My energy levels are flat to l, sometimes when I'm out I have to rest for a while even take a few minutes nap On a park bench or wherever I can and it's such a contradiction to the paranoia I suffer at times, It has me depressed, I'm only 31 I shouldn't be this tired... There are men way older than me that have loads of more energy. Stay positive and thanks for being brave and sharing this.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for watching! ❤ and yes, having to take naps is common for me too, sometimes I feel like i'm 100 years old always taking afternoon naps 😅

[@rebeccaphillipsmullins8124]

Me too

[@alpage9306]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria you welcome I hope all is going well

[@alpage9306]

@@rebeccaphillipsmullins8124 yeah it's rough, especially being young I hope all goes well

[@barbarahenninger6642]

I never realized the extreme fatigue that goes along with mental illnesses. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@MadeleinesMadeleines]

I appreciate your honesty cause I wouldn’t be able to talk about my most vulnerable times with anyone Especially seeing how cold and mean the world can be and I think it’s impressive that you improve despite those hardships It’s hard for people who are not in a similar situation to relate or even understand so I just wanted to let you know that as long as we do our best we can really pat ourselves on the back

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 🥹💚

[@lauragreen2008]

I too struggle with all this when Ill. I sleep in my day clothes then carry on the next day for weeks. I also suffer with agoraphobia when Ill as the outside world is scary and overwhelming. I have started on new medication and it's like night and day, or maybe it's because my symptoms vary through the season. God I love spring! By the way you look lovely in your video and you have a bunch of new friends here.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 🥹 glad to hear you are feeling better! I wish you well! 💖

[@OnwardChristianSoldiers.]

I truly appreciate your honesty no judgment here. I completely understand.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 💚

[@blairj1188]

I related to a lot of things you discussed in this video. I have bipolar disorder and I have struggled with almost everything you mentioned. I think it's good that you are bringing to light the reality of mental illness to anyone who comes across this video. Thanks for sharing, Kimberly.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for watching! ❤️

[@SchizophrenicFilms]

I often wear clothes for 4 days in a row too. I was never like this before I got schizophrenia. I got it late in life at the age of 45 years old. I use to shower every day. I guess living with mental illness makes you less likely to take care of yourself. I do brush my teeth every day though. That is my one obsession.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

same here, I did however get a scare with my teeth and now brush them and floss the way I should. right now im doing better with the hygiene stuff but its usually the first thing to go when I get ill... 😕

[@brylaw]

I so appreciate this video! Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing. I don't have schizophrenia, but I am autistic and have PTSD and ADHD, and so much of this is relatable. I wish the US had access to the kinds of supports that you described. A lack of support has me trapped in a cycle of burnout, and it would be incredible to be able to access resources.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! i'm glad you like it! 💚 sad to hear that you're getting burnt out because of the system, I'm very lucky to have these resources if needed. thank you for watching and leaving a comment! 🥹💚

[@tehilarosenbaum2299]

Thank you so much for your openness and for sharing 🙏 I needed to hear this so much. I was going through a two, almost three years of long periods (the longest just finally ended after two months) of not being able to take care of myself and my living space. Never saw or heard of anyone going through this I thought I was alone, crazy, lazy, and many other very nasty things that I called myself. No one dares sharing this experience and when I did I felt disgusting. Because of you I will continue sharing with my head high because we are fighters and we don't ever stop fighting 💪 💪 I thank God or whomever for people like you that give people like me the courage to keep fighting. You can never really know how many people you have saved . Thank you and bless you ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh wow thank you so much! It makes me so glad my video has had some kind of use. I hope you're doing better! 💚

[@forgottensage-o5o]

You aren't kidding about not having the energy to function.

[@Filthycoffin]

Hi I’ll be your friend!! 🎉😊 Hugs I hope you’re having a good day. I totally understand where you’re coming from. I think a lot of symptoms comes from trauma and abuse. You’re brave strong beautiful encouraging resilient caring and are totally needed here. ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 🥰

[@SusanFlynn-k5f]

Thank you for being so honest it's hard for people who have never experienced severe depression to understand how debilitating it can be. You are not gross you are very human, doing the best you can and doing it very openly sharing with others who are going through the same thing. We need to normalise the less savoury side of depression and not feel shame or embarrassment for being human. Love your blog! 💙💙

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥹💚

[@faustina6708]

Thank you for your bravery. I was recently diagnosed wirh bipolar one with psychotic features and i was in a period of dark loneliness until i found resources like you. You are a lifesaver. ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

oh wow thank you! 💚

[@silverdweller2809]

I really appreciate this video. I've gone a few months without showering before. It can be really bad. I just can't make myself do it sometimes. You're not alone.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you for watching and your lovely comment! sometimes its nice being reminded that your not alone with problems like this 🥹❤️

[@goodness-may]

I’m so glad I found your channel and this video. I have experienced this for a while, and right now it’s really bad. It makes it worst when you start getting mad at yourself for not doing what you should.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Im so glad you're here! I wish you the best! 🥰

[@madelinegrace7575]

Wonderful video Kimberly. I relate to a lot of what you're talking about. Since my last psychotic episode I feel like cognitively I'm not the same. My attention span has become quite damaged and I can't concentrate on tasks for very long or get deep concentration. For example I used to be able to read hundreds of pages of a book, now I struggle with reading which was a hobby I loved. I also find that I struggle with taking care of myself and cooking and things like that because I don't have the motivation. Thanks for sharing xx

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for watching! 💚 I also struggled a lot with concentrating, I haven't read regularly until last year so it took a couple years to get it back and I still have times where it's impossible. sending you my best wishes! ❤️

[@lisadixon960]

My son is 32 years old and he is autistic and schizophrenic. I totally know what your going through. I live with my son and everything your saying relates to him.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@lisadixon960 thank you 🙏 I wish you both my best! 💚

[@tanyatalkstoomuch]

I was at the dentist just last week. The nurse was very understanding of my mental health issues and when I told her I don't brush my teeth. But when the dentist himself came in and she said that to him he was like are you actually kidding me you don't brush your teeth? And I was like no I'm not kidding you I have mental illness. It was so sad 😕

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thats a shame, some people really don't understand how debilitating mental illness can be.. I hope it didn't discourage you from going back to the dentist. 💚

[@tanyatalkstoomuch]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria I'm not in any rush to go back but I will at some point...

[@IngridHofmann-q9f]

@@tanyatalkstoomuch I‘m shaking my head at the dentist. What kind of “unprofessional” behavior from the dentist! I wish you lived close to me so I could go with you. I am far from able-bodied, but I would be glad to help someone from doctor shaming.

[@JaytheblueJ]

Dentists were always the rudest of medical professionals I’ve dealt with.

[@Gurpreet_Basra]

i've experienced all these things, thanks for sharing.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thanks for watching! 🥹💚

[@scotchmist...]

Another excellent video. I think especially the bit about friends hits hard- I lost most of my friends after I was diagnosed. I see it as starting a new chapter in life

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 💚

[@susanmargaretwills6432]

"... dental treatment has cost me a few more CROWNS" - Kimberly cracked a joke in the midst of her sad video🤣

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Crowns is the swedish currency 🙃

[@MsLoma1212]

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety and can relate to it so much. Thank you for sharing this ❤ When I go through episodes when I don't take care of my hygiene I feel so much guilt. But I continue to sabotage myself and it makes guilt stronger. It's like a vicious cycle. It's almost like you need someone to come and say to you it's enough please go and shower...

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for watching and sharing, I agree that it becomes a vicious cycle. 💚

[@RubyFong-db2gp]

I have a schizophrenic person distantly in my life and this is super helpful 💕 You seem like such a cool person and you and your accent are gorgeous

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much! 🥰

[@SusanFlynn-k5f]

Thank you for being strong enough to share this just be kinder to yourself you are doing the best you can. i have experienced the same things and totally get where you are coming from.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for watching and showing support!🥰

[@hxjdjdn6236]

Thank you so much❤ At every point I was like, YES! ME TOO!!! I am learning so much about my depression. I am at a stage when I am learning how I can take care of myself. It is very different how I used to be or what is considered as "normal" or not a big deal. The big thing I had to accept that I just can't do it all. If I manage to wash my hair, I will not have energy to do dishes, if I decide to cook, I can't also wash my clothes and so on and on...some days I can manage a bigger task and some days we are talking about shall I brush my teeth or have a bowl of cereal. I wish the world stops a bit so I can catch up but it seems like I just have to get used to my new pace 😊

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

oh thank you! that means a lot for me! I hope you feel better soon, just remember (even though it's hard) that to let it take time. everything needs to heal and sadly that can take time so be patient. 💚 you'll catch up eventually in your own pace! 💚

[@mikkosuhonenphotography]

I recognize these things too. Thanks for sharing! I have not discussed my symptoms a lot with anyone.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you for watching! ❤️

[@uuuuhgggyg3267]

Fortsätt ta hand om dina tänder och gå gärna oftare till tandläkare och tandhygienist om ekonomin tillåter detta ❤. Är man sjuk så är det inte ohygien det är pga din sjukdom.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@PammyJ6107]

This was such an important video Kimberly, I have struggled myself with many of these things and have been frustrated and even embarrassed just like you mentioned. The good thing is every new day gives us the opportunity to work on these things and get better! Hope you have a great week :)

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you Pam! 💚 I hope you get a nice week as well! 💚

[@johnmadden1605]

Kimberly this is John Madden from the United States Pawtucket Rhode Island USA in Southern New England I love and appreciate the work that you do

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you John! 🥰

[@mlieli]

Thank you for sharing! Your honesty is comforting and it's soothing to watch your channel. Makes me fell less alone in my own struggle.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much! that makes me so happy to hear! you are definitely not alone! 🥹💚

[@ptlovelight2971]

Oh sweetie, no one here will judge you for these! We all understand that it's a part of the disorder. Ironically, i have also done some of these, and i don't have schizophrenia. At my worst times in life, when i was probably suffering from major depression, i didn't bathe either. The longest i think was 2 weeks. When i finally did get the energy to clean myself, the bathtub looked awful! I was so ashamed. I also struggled with binge eating junk foods; i was so emotionally dead that the only time i felt good was when i was eating salty chips, sweet desserts, pastries, sandwiches, cereals, and sweet coffee drinks. Same with the trash....i was forced to clean up once maggots got in it :( Definitely one of the first signs that someone is not doing well mentally is when they struggle to take basic care of themselves.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

sad to hear you can relate, we really shouldn't feel ashamed but its hard when you are embarrassed about not being able to take care of yourself properly. I can also relate to the emotional eating, sometimes I just didnt care about anything... thank you for sharing and commenting! ❤

[@jeancardoza4442]

Wonderful video, so honest and well presented! It does not change my opinion of you. You are a very intelligent, creative person--I admire you very much. I have great compassion for what you and others with a serious mental health condition go through. Thank you for helping us become more enlightened.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

oh wow thank you Jean for your lovely comment! 🥹💖

[@fatelessdancer36mom]

Omgosh!! YES!! Thank you so much for this! I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder depressive type and I relate to everything you are sharing. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@fatelessdancer36mom Thank you! 🥰🤩

[@rebeccamariscal8091]

You are so smart, brave, caring. Thanks for sharing.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for watching! 🥰

[@Holly858]

I struggle also with my depression and sometimes I used to go 2 weeks without showering. Iam so tired all the time which makes it hard not to be a little messy at times.Some days I do pretty good and other days I struggle.Thank you for all your videos as It helps me realize I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing your personal information;you are truly an inspiration to anyone out there that suffers from any type of mental illness! You are stronger than you think you are! Holly

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you Holly! ❤

[@BasedRaven96]

Thanks for being so honest and open! Much respect! I have schizophrenia also, and I recognize myself in a lot of the things you brought up, like cognitive difficulties, sometimes having a hard time with keeping up with hygien and so on!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for watching! I'm glad you like it! ❤️

[@the3underwoods]

I relate to everything you are talking about and ots shameful how shameful we feel about ourselves. I too have no friends and feel very very lonely but my social skills are non existent x

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Sad to hear, Im also very awkward with getting to know people and find it hard to make friends. I hope to meet new people soon maybe at art school. 💚

[@Agnes_B96]

You are so brave and so articulate! ❤ i can totally relate. I am also struggling with these things too. The ‘walk of shame’ is so familiar 😅

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 💚

[@mjmoody3796]

You are still helping people 1 yr after this video. Thank you. It's just wanted i needed to hear regarding my loved one. Keep healing and being strong. You are loved!❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much! 🥰

[@gracelove2774]

Thank you for being so brave to speak on this ❤❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 💚

[@IngridHofmann-q9f]

Hi Kimberly! This video was particularly helpful to watch. You mentioned you have noticed cognitive loss. I just wanted to say that you appeared particularly bright and brilliant on this video. I also observed the same behaviors in myself. Changing clothes when I don’t need to leave the house is particularly taxing.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥰

[@thegnarlyvagabond]

I struggle with cleaning. Showering isn't a problem for me, because I love knowing that I'm all fresh, clean and smell good. I don't feel motivated to clean at all, once I get going I usually don't mind it but I just can't get started. It all comes down to being low energy. When you are tired, and even just going for a walk is a monumental task how are you going to find the energy to clean, and maintain your hygiene and surroundings? Still, I am slowly making progress.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

yes, it can really feel like such a big hurdle to start cleaning and it just becomes more daunting the messier it gets... thank you for watching! 💚

[@jackwetherall9350]

Thank you for your share this is all part of being a "Normal Schizophrenic" I'm just like you and it bothers me too ,sometimes we just have to wait it out till we are better , you are a wonderful person and very courageous

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! i'm glad you like the video! 🥰

[@nickdangelo3266]

Kimberly I feel you on all the things you talked about, I have the same problems

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

sad to hear! I hope this video made you feel less alone with the struggles 💚

[@originalvonster]

Thank you for being so honest. I have bipolar and I think the struggles are similar especially being on antipsychotics.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! ❤

[@ariahathaway5517]

Thanks Kimberly... Taking a shower in the morning is like climbing Mount Everett... 😂 I get it all completely. I think you're doing really well tho...thanks for speaking about these things also. It makes me feel less alone and hopefully you too when you see how many people here share your struggles... Much love 💕

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you Aria! sending you a big hug! 💚

[@Elle-ht3km]

Thank you, you’re honestly is beautiful, and so are you ❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Oh thank you! 💚

[@tf1316]

Its so brave and great that you talk about these things. I can relate to many things 💚

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you! 🥹💚

[@johnmadden1605]

Yes I understand Kimberly I've been in the same boat

[@mandia469]

Well i dont have the hygeine problems, but i do go through some days where im low on energy and will go at least 2 days without brushing. I work full time and i also have fibroids that make me look pregnant. So alot of times im in pain, and feeling drained and my place just gets dirty throughout the week and wont get cleaned for awhile. I often daydream about coworkers who are totally together, keep a clean home on a regular basis, and im like "how,",!! And when im in unravel mode, say if ive been off my meds for a while, sometimes im scared to even get out of bed due to my anxieties! Doing the minorest things while im unraveled feels like an unsafe torment! So i just stay in bed, under the covers to make me feel protected!

[@narainpamedceciliamalmberg]

Tack så jättemycket för ditt mod och din ärlighet! Du betyder så mycket! Jag har både Schizoaffektivt syndrom och Asperger och känner så igen mig.. Så, tack igen och en varm kram!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

åh tack själv för att du tittade! ❤️

[@evadebruijn]

I think the incapability of providing myself with a Home is what is the most negative side effect for me. Because if your home is a source of overwhelm and stress, you don't really have a Home, as in a safe place where you can Relax and Feel at Home. ✌️

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Sad to hear that, I hope you'll find a safe space to live soon! 💚

[@SchizophrenicFilms]

I have used food as a coping mechanism too. I now weigh the most I have ever weighed in my life. I'm now 264 pounds. I've gained a lot over the past year, as my previous weight was 230 pounds. When I first got schizophrenia, I stopped eating or did not eat as much, and lost a ton of weight and got down to 185 pounds in 2018.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Food has been a big issue for me, it took me quitting zyprexa in order to finally start losing weight properly but sadly the diabetes came first... but it has been a lot easier since quitting zyprexa. 😊

[@SchizophrenicFilms]

I hated Zyprexa. That's the problem with all anti-psychotics is that you are more likely to get diabetes. Personally, I think having an arm or leg chopped off from diabetes is worse than having mental illness, so personally, I don't want to be on anti-psychotics anymore. I've known 2 people that had legs chopped off from diabetes and now, both are dead. Now, the only thing I take is Prozac and a bunch of stuff for high blood pressure, metformin, and acid reflux disease pills. @@Kimberly_Viktoria

[@eggcouncil629]

I tried to cope for years on my own, it doesn't work but now I have some short term support and I'm going to use that support to also get long term support. For years I didn't want help so I was in and out of hospital but recently a support worker helped me to avoid a hospital stay so it works, mental illness really sucks

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

I hope it goes well for you! sending my best well wishes, as you said mental illness can really suck... 💚

[@mikalareads]

Thank you for making this video ❤❤❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@mikalareads thank you for watching! 🥰❤️

[@Jazzypurr]

Thanks for being so real and telling it like it is. ❤❤❤❤❤!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for the super thanks and for watching! ❤❤❤

[@tamiknopping3501]

Kim - thank you so much for your transparency . I have a daughter that suffers and your sharing this helps me so much to understand. I hope you know your impact is valuable and you sharing so honestly is so courageous. Thank you! (And your Enlish is excellent!)

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for watching and for leaving such a kind comment! I'm glad my video can have some use, my best wishes to you and your daughter. 💚

[@gerberdaisies]

It does need to be talked about. You’ve made me feel so relieved about what I’ve been through too. Thank you

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for the watch and comment too! 💚

[@Beth4earsthathear]

I’m not able to work a job anymore, and don’t have enough to go to a doctor at all. I can’t manage Vito take the time and focus to find any resources that might be out there

[@Beth4earsthathear]

I am so right there with you. And it is embarrassing. And I (don’t want to say it) we are gross. I never thought of these these coming from mental illness. Makes sense. I know one of my sons is just like me. I need to tell him what I’ve learned, but I’ve procrastinated so far

[@FM-st4yn]

I love your videos (and I think I wrote that in every video of yours that I saw!) Your honesty and simplicity in explaining just how it is is so touching. I send you hugs from England! I am also one of your first followers, I remember a video that you were thanking having a couple of hundreds of followers and now you surpassed 1.5k ! You are helping a lot of people . Thank you ❤️

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you like them and thank you for sticking around for so long! 🥹💚

[@Marei.172]

Hi dear! Really loved this video, you really saved some of us a lot of time explaining to loved ones who are not very well caught on yet about mental illness. This video is spot on. I really hope that we all can do better for ourselves for example more self love and self compassion on the daily. Thank you for your time and effort and vulnerability. God bless you. 🎉

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

oh thank you! 🥹 it makes me so glad that you had some use or enjoyment from the video, even if its just feeling less alone! thank you! 💚💚

[@Marei.172]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria yes I did feel less alone after watching this. Hugs

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@Marei.172 that makes me glad to hear! hugs ❤

[@robertstone8056]

good video kimberly.....im in the same boat😑

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you Robert! Sad to hear but I'm sending you my best wishes! 💚

[@thebutterfluffman6855]

Inpatient from everything Ive heard sounds very terrifying, I don't know how I would I respond to being essentially held kidnapped. However I like to think because of my occupation I'd be fine.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

its not that scary really, you basically just eat, sleep, smoke and drink coffee/tea and meet with doctors and sometimes have therapy. 🙃

[@pauline_raabe]

Everything you said here mirrors me. Thank you so much for talking about it in depth. I needed to hear this. Even to comment on it is a big step for me. Thank you 💞💐

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you for the comment! 💚

[@barbarahenninger6642]

You have such a wonderful way of analyzing and explaining. I feel really lucky that your video came onto my KZbin I do not have schizophrenia, but I can still relate to the problems you talk about, especially about being reclusive to the point where I lose friends.

[@SeriNe-fj9gh]

I know this struggle all too well and it‘s awful because taking care of oneself does actually contribute to well being. Thanks for making this video and talking about what most don‘t want to talk about!🌸

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you and thank you for watching! 💚

[@Afishionado1]

Sweetie, everything you described was so tame. I have seen things that are so, so much more gross.

[@ritini2335]

I think you are amazing!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! ❤️

[@Lisa-fv7pp]

You are absolutely wonderful and amazing ❤️❤️💐

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 💚

[@peterbengtsson]

Fantastic video! Keep doing what you are doing! God bless!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! ❤

[@gypsyskyy9451]

Thank you again Kimberly for sharing your challenges and vulnerbilities. You help so many people including myself. I have a lot of thoughts on all the things you talked about because I have struggled with the same but to a lesser extent. I feel so lethargic and like a slug, because of my depression and the meds. I want to do so much and cant so that is depressing. If I dont go out for a few days my garbage in right by my front door the whole time. And the trash cute is just down the hall, I live in an apt. Not as bad as what you do through, but I still feel like I can relate, the not cooking and cleaning etc. You are really helpful to people no matter what their mental illness is. God bless! Keep sharing! Hugs from Mary Ann . . .🤗💜💜💜

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you Mary Ann! 🥹💚 As you said, not being able to do these things also worsen the depression because you do want to do them. I'm sending you a big hug to you too! ❤️

[@gypsyskyy9451]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria Thanks so much Kimberly! 💜

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@gypsyskyy9451 no problem! ❤

[@alexandermatthewsmusic]

I'm schizophrenic and lost all my friends it seems the same way as you lost a few... I like going to a cafe or go to an open mic and talk to a few people but don't have one person I could go for a coffee with... I went to a concert last night by myself aurora she's Norwegian the whole time I was nervous and struggled a bit today after... Anyway the thrill of illness what fun... Wish you lived in new Zealand could start a mental health vlog coffee group ha

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

hi, im sad to hear that you also have the same troubles 😔 and yes a mental health coffee group would have been a dream! if you would like to talk to other people with schizophrenia I can link you a forum if your interested? thank you for your comment!💚

[@alexandermatthewsmusic]

@@Kimberly_Viktoria hi thanks for your reply and generous offer... I'm 43 and lived with it for a while I'm pretty set in my ways so I won't join the forum right now but I'll keep it in mind thanks again... I've started some vlogs and am enjoying listening to others stories here on KZbin though thanks for your contribution it's great :) keep it up it's worth it!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@alexandermatthewsmusic thank you! and if you change your mind just comment and I will paste the link to it 😊

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

If you have cognitive loss then you will have to work inside your talents, of which you have quite a few. I think you could take all your videos and convert from speech to text, proofread/edit them all into a book, and self publish on Amazon in English and Swedish. You have a pretty good flow that I don't think you realize you have. IOW you are more organized than you know.

[@user-zm7ly5bt2i]

Thank you for sharing your story. ❤ I struggle with depression and anxiety.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you so much for watching and commenting! hope you have a great day! 🥰💚

[@LouiseFalt]

Thank you for making this video. You said so many good things and had so many great points. ❤ Let's break the stigma. Take care 💕

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you and you too! 🥹💚

[@Kim-uh8hc]

I have schizo affective disorder and I struggle with the same things I also have a son it's so hard

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

@@Kim-uh8hc sad to hear that I can’t imagine how tough it must be raising a child at the same time, my best wishes to you! ❤️‍🩹

[@RubyFong-db2gp]

awesome video, thank you!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

Thank you!

[@margepaz]

I think you have tremendous courage.

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! 😊

[@Jazzypurr]

Thanks!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you! ❤

[@Ashleyiza]

I understand some of your struggles. It sucks. Thank you for sharing your story ❤ I think you're beautiful!

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

thank you for watching and commenting! ❤

[@murielmoloney1043]

Bless you for your brave honesty

[@Bir1953]

Your honesty is refreshing and your video has been very informative...thank you for sharing.❤

[@Kimberly_Viktoria]

You are so welcome!💚