HFY Reddit Story: Humans are cosmic Horrors - Complete Story

[@kadirali1456]

I refuse to believe that this is the end of the story. This could easily be a 100 chapter series.

[@r8tedh8ted39]

This is top tier. I laughed, anticipated, and hated when it was over. To the author my respect. To the narrator my appreciation.

[@funny_joke_goes_here4406]

Huh? 2 hours long, posted 1 hour ago and you commented half an hour ago? How tf have you finished it? Bot comment.

[@samchan9209]

@@funny_joke_goes_here4406 r8tedj8ted39 likely just played it at 2x. I just finished this story in about 1 hr 15 m playing it at 1 .75x. For all AI voices, I find them to be more natural played at 1.5x. And for 30+ minutes long AI narrations, depending on the AI voice, I listen at between 1.5x and 2x as a norm.

[@jonathangibson9098]

​@@funny_joke_goes_here4406and narration is AI/CG

[@bwillerton8327]

And as for the time issue, all you had to do was listen to the last episode from the other day. I do wish they had continued with the story though

[@allengreen424]

Couldve listened to it at faster play back speed​@@funny_joke_goes_here4406

[@Vainglorious.1]

This was amazing, and absolutely needs to continue. I laughed my ass off while on patrol multiple times, so this was a welcomed relief from the general tedium of being a security guard. This was well made in every aspect, and I need a continuation of this. Please continue this story!

[@Erin-Thor]

This just proves what I’ve always suspected, Earth is a great big NO-FLY Zone. 😊

[@ChibiViolin]

"Their dietary requirements, aside from souls." 😂😂😂

[@Archangelrey1]

Won't be the first time he dropkick a carebear? Where that story?! lol

[@VenroResai]

My thoughts exactly!!

[@SeedlingNL]

At least they aren't like the Ob'enn, a race of psycho teddy bears hellbent on purifying the galaxy of any non-Ob'enn lifeforms... (It took one of their own Superfortress AIs to get so fed up with their nonsense that it rebelled and started taking over ships and planets, capturing all Ob'enn to deprogram their species-wide cult... )

[@SageofStars]

@@SeedlingNL For anyone curious, it's from Schlock Mercenary, a webcomic of some decades that ended a few years ago in epic fashion. Think Mass Effect or Babylon 5, but with a talking pile of poop(carbosilicate amorph) as our title(though not starring) character. Fun times. That said, the Ob'enn had an advantage of finding a bit of precursor tech that let them construct huge ships(and more importantly the generators FOR those ships, which means bigger guns). That was what let them keep going as absolute xenophobes until a certain AI decided to 're-educate' them...we never do find out if that worked, though mostly because the end of the universe takes precedence.

[@ShadowFox178]

This is pretty good. Also some cute references. The Aliens in this scenerio would love H.R. Geiger

[@ur1cat]

Very funny and probably what a real first contact would look like. Thanks!

[@that_guy8893]

“Fantasizing about lovecraftian dommie mommies” he’s just like me

[@grendal113]

Tentacle anime? Oh oh I'm so sorry Hentia

[@NahToTheNahNahNah]

>Nutrients in the air Eagerly and with gusto awaiting the story of this world's fall to fungi.

[@wow-roblox8370]

Fungi-bombs will be sent to every planet upon humanity’s counterattack

[@NolanSchmitz]

Eyes covering intersecting rings, literally describing biblical angels

[@Ginkodono]

Lmao! 1:55:17 i cant! Had to stop the video to stop laughing and listen again

[@grendal113]

"We come in peace!" Bang! "We come in peace."

[@ClaytonLovendale]

This is what happens when you let Monty Python write the script for the next Star Wars movie mixed with Lovecraftian twist. Or, twisted. Still, it was highly humorous. 10/10😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@elleshanndriacnossosmidnight]

Silverbacked gorilla holding a grenade oh my lol

[@SatsuRyga]

The 34th rule LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣

[@mikearroyo3961]

Great and funny story. More please, continuation?

[@DanCBoyle]

I died when they called them Monchichi’s.

[@andythegoatman694]

Their weird religion has me dying hahahahahahah also.....theyre so CUUUTTTTEEEE😂

[@ApexAurajinHere]

I'm at the weird doppelganger arc and it is the funniest shit so far

[@albodakine1]

Well done my friends. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Well done.

[@johnsanford3596]

Were-human?! 😂😂 Love it.

[@vikingskuld]

Great story kept me up listening to it lol. I put books like this on to go to sleep too, nit this one though lol thanks for this story

[@viniciuslopesmodena]

Masive eyeball and collect eyes in intersect rings Angels ?

[@RealKarma-ie4dj]

Literally what I thought while listening to this at work

[@claytonnicholls3178]

Needs a book 2

[@scottlogston8457]

Agreed, A+++.

[@tylermabe1565]

Anyone know if there's a follow up yet?

[@RustyEcks]

Loving it!

[@gregwillard4267]

This is great to much 😂😂😂

[@chefcook9030]

The longer I listen to this, the more I realize it reminds me of a Robot Chicken sketch (albeit 2 hours long), and it's amazing :D

[@paulbooth3953]

Hilarious! Absolutely hilarious 🤣

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

So they were expecting dinosaurs.

[@charlesdurbin7365]

Most excellent. Funny as hell. Thanks!

[@matthewmcclintock2407]

Ok, it gets better by the minute and my outlook on First Contact is melting by the minute. 😂🤣

[@lorenalollilossio7846]

😂 loved it 😂 i need part 2 😂

[@kaykaymishka5548]

Is there a continuation???? Would love to see a part 2 😂🤎🩶🧡🐻🐨🐻‍❄️🐼💯❣️

[@SageofStars]

I really like this one. It shows that the thought processes are similar throughout the universe, as they still swear, still have their gods and conflicts, but due to every other species getting it on the first try, and thus in a non-diversified biome, they wound up on worlds that were literally made for them(or rather, they were made to fit their worlds). Earth, even by the time they first found it, had already had a few harsh shifts, and thus was already outside the norm for their studies, and then they go and make it worse by applying even MORE selection pressure to the planet, meaning the life there slowly changed to be more and more adapt, until finally we emerged. The sheer fact that these people have existed for hundreds of millions of years, but seemingly have had no changes in all that time, shows just WHY they need to be afraid of the 'Children of Gaia', because they simply don't have the instincts, the builds, or anything other than a tech advantage that makes them able to compete, and that last isn't going to last very long.

[@nickandkatiecarran3089]

This universe feels like the author has read C. S. Lewis.

[@SrVerataro]

This guy, this guy is good with the pen

[@WayneRedelinghuys]

Brilliant! 👏 ❤

[@anthonymcgregor9952]

32:35 when I realised that they were talking about humans

[@NonyaNomaynamue]

A couple of chuckle-fucks 😂😂😂😂 I cant

[@cavemancaveman5190]

Underwater aquatic people along with everything else. Next was caves because the water left. Not until the beginning of history did we occupy the surface

[@jasonbradley6359]

It's a great start! Well done. So where's the rest. If you have no intention of continuing a story, you shouldn't end it with expectation.

[@FullchanAnon]

Aliens also have a Mariana trench?

[@grajewamandorin8545]

Fascinating

[@WilfredRubalcaba]

Funny. Dum love it ❤❤❤❤❤😂😂😂😂

[@paradoxstate5018]

lobbing a rock at Earth isnt a clever idea, the Earth survived a Mars sized planet hitting it.

[@jessicaedmondson5347]

That’s what they’re referencing

[@paradoxstate5018]

@@jessicaedmondson5347 I did wonder, but I thought they were referencing the T-K Asteroid to be honest. or did they reference both, I'd have to listen again.

[@DavidLymanjr]

The fact i just heard lovectaftin domymommys is sad and funny at same time

[@savvya2470]

Dog I put this on to sleep but it’s so good

[@monkeyfat61]

man, what the hell did i just listen, too? but fuck i want more this is funny as shit and probably how first contact would go expuly the pillow fighting part 😆 but please if the drop another i so want to keep listen this is great props to the athor there making a funny crazy story lat i cant put down im hooked like a fish

[@howlingcommandose]

Sapiens means intelligence sanctions means awareness

[@custodianguard6816]

Image if it was a planet like catachan from 40K

[@bennettbush3906]

Lmao😂

[@DocIsEvil]

The Independent People's Republic of Texas. That's funny right there. 😂😂😂 MaFkin Texas

[@Oirhemm]

Its over? But why?

[@stenivosulutvedt7572]

I like this

[@jordancrawford7605]

Is there more it's good

[@mahathirabir6201]

Next part?

[@joebob4579]

Enjoyable but as a biology student some of it could be bettee

[@grendal113]

This is hilarious

[@sparkeyjames]

Sounds like what happens inside a overly religious militant vegan sci-fi writers head as he considers what to write about.

[@teamgonzo9289]

"COOL"!!! 👣👍🇱🇷 "YOU KNOW YOUR VOICE SOUNDS LIKE THE ONE, AT DISNEYLAND, THE "SHRINKING RAY" ONE You share some of the same pitch, tone, and rhythm!!! 👍 I'm pretty old now, but there are some things you don't forget!!! 👣👍🇱🇷🪖

[@TheturtlesageWill]

26 minutes in was that an ewok

[@thenationalist6468]

Is this the whole story?

[@andrewham1397]

Behold, I gaian... probably.

[@carny2797]

Lol the 34 rule (rule 34) xD

[@gwolfstahl]

Yup, your average theocracy...

[@grendal113]

Lovecraftian horrors.... lol

[@Terask_Terrasque]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@israelquiroz7245]

Thy must follow the 34th!

[@jrw2electricboogaloo411]

more

[@budnolan1033]

With adds every 5 minutes,!!!im un subscribing! I get you make money that way, but aint no body got time for that!!

[@AliceGutierrez-x4u]

Allen Deborah Walker Karen Young Kimberly

[@davidfinan4041]

!prize

[@johndexter1421]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha😅

[@GagaNoot]

1:38:55 is the craziest thing I have ever heard today💀😭

[@Ginkodono]

Lmao I agree. I was wondering what was said and boom!