When the Trees Speak Human | HFY | A short Sci-Fi Story

[@valtiel2589]

when i wrote this one i was under SERIOUS stress. this had to go through at least a dozen corrections after being published. sorry about that

[@pauldwalker]

i enjoyed it. thank you for sharing.

[@scifistories1977]

This is a great story!

[@joebollig2689]

Every good writer edits, revises, revises, revises …. It’s a good thing.

[@valtiel2589]

not me lol i am a TERRIBLE writer. when i write stories, i DONT plan them out. i just find a thing, start writing and thats pretty much it. i only check for grammar when the stories done and post it. im a horrible writer XD@@joebollig2689

[@doodlesquatch277]

Writing is rewriting!!! Etc. And so forth. 😅

[@keithreinsel7842]

"My name is the Lorax, I speak for the trees, and for some f'in reason, the trees are speaking humanese."

[@khylerbane4523]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@HalIOfFamer]

I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees, this is my shotgun, it starts with your knees.

[@henrywilson2136]

The Trees can't be harmed if the Lorax is armed.

[@radchad992]

Apes: we have plasma technology Humans: laugh in Argonne and Vietnam

[@hellacoorinna9995]

War is our business, and business is good

[@TotallyDapper]

Business is booming!

[@no_pseudo_idea6517]

@@TotallyDapperjust like Syria

[@subninja8069]

And Afghanistan

[@KlaxontheImpailr]

"We laugh in Argonne and Vietnam" sounds like a Sabaton lyric.😂

[@underworldguardian704]

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle”. -Sun Tzu, Art of War

[@whiteeye3453]

What about knowing enemy but not yourself

[@Saradomusic6402]

@@whiteeye3453 then for every defeat suffered, you will gain a small victory

[@vogel2077]

@@whiteeye3453 you will get robb starked then i guess, win every battle, lose the war

[@anathardayaldar]

X1: General, we found a sheltered area up ahead. We should be safe there. X2: Very good captain. What is that area called? X1: "Teutoberg Forrest", Sir.

[@CALCIUMDOMINATOR]

Or "sir they call the area the "Ozarks""

[@trentenswett6306]

"Happy Germanic noises", mean while the dead Roman's spirits that haunt the forest are just shacking their heads.

[@trentenswett6306]

@@CALCIUMDOMINATOR "Rock-eees"

[@bobboringname9021]

@@CALCIUMDOMINATOR hmm you aliens got purdy mouths!

[@thecursed01]

@@trentenswett6306 back when germans fought back against invaders instead of letting them r.pe and pillage, then discussing if probation is still too hard of a punishment

[@john236613]

I love the irony of using guerilla warfare against advanced gorillas.

[@Psycom5k1]

Gotta love the symbol monkey too.

[@tigershark7155]

I was 4 years old in 1970. The TV was always on the News. Or so it felt... It never ceased to amaze me that Gorillas were fighting a war!? 😂

[@wboyd33]

​@@tigershark7155And they always showed humans & never the actual gorillas in their clips.

[@cupcakewithatophat1131]

@@wboyd33yeah, cuz they’re sneaky. Duh.

[@sirfenixxumbra6626]

just like the VIETNAMESE did to USA in the viet-con

[@Blackwater_House]

They saw the Human Soldier standing on the hilltop taunting them to come and fight him, so they sent forward 10 men to deal with the upstart. As they did so, the Human withdrew to behind the hill and awaited their arrival. A loud battle ensued, then silence, then nothing save a Human Soldier standing on the hilltop taunting them to come and fight him. So they sent forward 100 men to deal with the upstart. As they did so, the Human withdrew to behind the hill and awaited their arrival. Another loud battle ensued, then more silence, then nothing save a Human Soldier standing on the hilltop taunting them to come and fight him. So this time they sent forward 1,000 men to deal with the upstart. As they did so, the Human once again withdrew to behind the hill and awaited their arrival. A loud battle ensued, then silence, then one lone straggler slowly crawled his way back to their lines as the Human Soldier stood on the hilltop taunting them to come and fight him. When the lone survivor finally arrived back with his men, his last dying words were “the bastard lied. There are two of them”.

[@soldier22881]

this is getting out of hand, now there are two of them!

[@Blackwater_House]

@@soldier22881 Doubtless multiplying like Humans

[@foundationguard5315]

Both are USMC.

[@soldier22881]

i like your pfp@@foundationguard5315

[@Briselance]

​@@foundationguard5315 "Outstanding, marines! Out-fucking-standing!! We kicked their ass!" OOah!

[@weirdredpanda]

I love stories where the villains greatly underestimate their opponents, then learn the hard way.

[@jimh472]

"Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?"

[@CALCIUMDOMINATOR]

Imagine coming to earth and landing in hillbilly territory and hearing the forest come alive with banjo and hillbilly shouting and whooping

[@helmsscotta]

No. Banjos are for music. Rifles are for hunting. An entirely different form of entertainment.

[@AlexSDU]

Don't forget the sound of pig squealing.

[@MoaRider]

"They'll look high and they'll look low..."

[@B1gLupu]

Imagine landing in Karelia and the first land last thing you hear are skis.

[@isengarde9490]

They land somewhere in Montana, and the trees just have speakers playing a strange song about keeping rifles by their sides on loop.

[@Blackout5871]

Alien Invaders: Our plasma weapons are superior and will let us win easily! Humans: Hehe M163 go BRRRRTRT!!

[@Bellator_of_the_Shadow]

Who doesn't like a he spewing machine of death when aliens invade xD

[@lgmmrm]

Didn’t even get to take ok an IFV or Tank. They got squadwiped by a SPAAG

[@Theideaspectrum]

Aliens: *have advanced tech* Humans: *laugh in Appalachian*

[@fs5miFi1dM4u5]

*Somewhere off in the distance as the generals head explodes* "Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games We got everything you want, honey, we know the names We are the people that can find whatever you may need If you got the money, honey, we got your disease In the jungle, welcome to the jungle Watch it bring you to your shun-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-knees, knees Muah, ah, I wanna watch you bleed"

[@karenbaldwin2867]

If I heard this shit blaring through speakers throughout the jungle.I would quit so fast I doubt the officers would be able to shoot me. I’m just leaving all their asses behind😂😂

[@jamesandrews3700]

"................yeah no FUCK THAT!"

[@TheMightyDM]

11:25 "We have plasma weapons!" "Yea? We got rocks. But we throw them really hard and we got THOUSANDS of them."

[@mugenokami2201]

Millions

[@Roosauec]

"Some folks are born, made to wave the flag, Ooh, they're Red, White, and Blue! And when the band plays 'Hail to the Chief,' Ooh, they point the cannon at you!"

[@outstretchedwings]

Today these aliens learned about: Guerilla warfare, snipers, and IEDs

[@northernsupernova1]

not quite improvised explosive devices (IED) , it was a prpared industrial military with factory produced mines and explosives.

[@joelrosenfeld8447]

Should have read human military history books. Humans like to write about our wars.

[@IronWarhorsesFun]

We just blast the XENOS with Sabaton History songs 😜

[@cdbsr00]

This would make a GREAT 15 minute movie! I hope it's picked up by one of the many talented visual arts creators out there. Nice story btw.

[@Wastelandman7000]

"I'm not going to kill you. I want you to tell all your friends about me" Grakanti: "What are you?" "I'm HuMan"

[@release_the_Diddy_list]

Homefield advantage is a real thing when you rig the field with explosives

[@kacpermalina308]

Homefield more like Minefield.

[@pride2184]

Seems like a system that won't last long when you keep losing 😂

[@potatoman1211]

“The Fleets you have sent are liberated, for they do not inhabit this mortal plane, our munitions made sure of it”

[@FirstIsa]

"We sent your fleet away" Alien: "yes but Where?" "nowhere in particular, just away. A little that way, some bits went that way, a lot more went that way I think..."

[@mugenokami2201]

@@FirstIsathere there up there back there and everywhere else

[@IronWarhorsesFun]

It's gonna be helarious when the Aliens try any of these scenarios and we already know exactly how it goes because humans write every possible version of the future 😜🤣

[@maxthibodeau3627]

they would just vaporize the atmosphere and never have to set foot in our solar system, easy.

[@bagel5833]

The story is basically "Alien army tried to walk, 500 dead." and it doesn't get old.

[@xandercreates6766]

"when the trees speak human" *loads vietnam playlist alongside this video*

[@billcook7285]

🤔 what kind of war do you fight against gorillas? 😂 A gorilla war!

[@weirdredpanda]

Guerrilla vs gorilla warfare

[@scifistories1977]

🤣🤣

[@greyknightexan]

Stop monkeying around.

[@billcook7285]

@@weirdredpanda man, I bet you're just a blast at parties, aren't you?

[@beverlycrusher9713]

i was expecting a planet of the apes type of thing, i was pleasantly surprised, this was better than i expected, another good job! 👍👍👍

[@scifistories1977]

Glad you enjoyed it! This is a great story!

[@Kellethorn]

I don't know why but there is something awesome about sci fi where humanity is the undisputed, "800 pound gorilla" in the room. Like, we're the psychopathic murder monkeys in the corner of the galaxy that only haven't conquered the whole thing because 98% of the time, we're too busy fighting ourselves. But gods help you if you catch them during that 2%....

[@BerryTheBnnuy]

War doesn't determine who's right. It determines who's left.

[@Lmiller201]

LOVE IT... " many tried but were never heard from again"

[@lyrigageforge3259]

I have an issue with it being islands and then suddenly there being a river in between islands. It should be a strait and you could perhaps speak of sea currents, surfs and possibly stormy waters - in narrow parts water can indeed have strong currents - or perhaps it was tides. But nope not river.

[@jdau2b]

Large islands have rivers

[@dakangaroo8115]

And rivers can have strong undercurrents that kill you even in very shallow water

[@matthiuskoenig3378]

rivers can 100% have strong currents.

[@paulqueripel3493]

​@@jdau2bbut the story did say the bridge went from one island to another in the archipelago, so it's a strait. Otherwise it would be the same island. Unless all the islands are in the same river, be a massive river though to have islands with mountain ranges on.

[@tigershark7155]

Guadalcanal had a river, the marines set up a defensive line. The Japanese tested that defense to their destruction. Tenyru River, I think.

[@Crazycoyote-we7ey]

Read one where aliens were abducting humans they found out they abducted a Were-wolf (European Were-Tiger (Indian) Were-Jackel (African) Were-wolverien (Canadian) Navajo Skinwalker (Navajo Reservation) And they got their ship taken over

[@calebmcnabb3668]

Just the thought of aliens abducting actual therianthropes is funny. Them abducting a skinwalker as well just makes me feel sorry for them. That's a whole other level of FAFO.

[@walterlyzohub8112]

This was a good job showing how terrifying snipers are.

[@nirfz]

It's not just snipers, it's every infantery soldier that is camouflaged. Can tell you from personal experience that someone not moving and adequately camouflaged (doesn't need a ghili suit like a sniper) you won't spot, even when looking at them from less than 5 car lengths. (which is easily enough for any infanterist to do what in the story happens close to the treelines or in the forested areas.

[@sarge12212]

We can only hope our war-like tendencies strike fear in our invader's hearts. I can't imagine a non-preditor species becoming world dominant, so those invaders will likewise be predators. These ape-like invaders did not make very good guerilla warriors! (Pun intended) 😎👌

[@gusty7153]

i keep imagining some advance civilization deciding to surprise us and encase the entire planet with a giant shell and tell the rest of the universe "these things stay in quarantine indefinitely. dont even acknowledge their existence"

[@ignaciocambero9314]

the grakanty start to hear something as they advance troight the jungle.... it was an old native song, from what they later could translate it was something about being ''painted in black''

[@sbradfute]

Aliens: We have plasma weapons! Humans: We have BRRRRRRT! (As the other person said) God save the A10.

[@galactica4867]

"welcome to vietnam"

[@IronWarhorsesFun]

"the elves taught the trees to speak, the humans taught them to kill, the ewocs taught them to ENJOY IT" 🤣

[@alanmacification]

Or fighting the Apache

[@DasHeino2010]

Half way through I imagined they just sent Rambo with a months worth of preperation and an full-auto cal.50 Barett ^^ I would have wished a lot of them would have given up and taken in to later learn what we evolved from.

[@anathardayaldar]

A month's worth of gear, which he promptly loses within the first 10 minutes requiring him to improvize with the local resources.

[@Zminator1986]

The space apes would probably think themselves as superior as it took multiple savage species to get to humanity and the Earth apes are still savage animals. At least that's what I would think if I was one of those space apes.

[@jamesandrews3700]

RETURN TO MUNKEY

[@kingsman4628]

They call it "internal strife" Humans call it "practice"

[@billgoodman9103]

An ultimate F-around and find out story.

[@worldcomicsreview354]

This is the bit where the aliens get Marshal Planned. "Yeah, now you end slavery, return each system to it's rightful owners and institute democracy. Next time we won't ask so nicely"

[@harrisonnightingale6600]

Ha, he fell for the old monkey bomb trick.

[@Skyblade12]

First time Fallout player.

[@chrishamilton7516]

Humanity be like: “I place ‘The Vietnamese’ in attack mode!”

[@emoryogglethorp8180]

It always amazes me in these stories how the more advanced culture that has spent many centuries in space doesn't understand how dangerous a simple physical projectile can be LOL

[@meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee2]

I suppose that as better and more powerful weapons are developed it is natural to disregard old tech. It is only about 80 years since the long bow was last used in combat, but does any current military think about defending themselves from it?

[@nosense8744]

I mean, its common sense that Projectiles like Bullets are cheaper, faster and more hard to detect than plasma.

[@notyourmi6agent508]

"hey command the Geneva convention doesn't apply here right?"

[@weirdredpanda]

So this was guerrilla versus gorilla warfare.

[@timjames6190]

That was awesome work you had me on the edge of my seat 👏💯

[@rat_king-]

Sounds like chivalry.. 1066 and... Longbow GO BRRRR. Snipers.. Perfect... Guerilla tactics.. Brilliant. Military industrial complex would say at 7:50 that was a nice scout group. GOT an army?

[@luangu]

Outside in the far distance, the alien saw the thing. Two humans were approaching, And they both began to sing: "Some folks are born made to wave the flag Hoo, they're red, white and blue And when the band plays "Hail to the chief" Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord It ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no senator's son, son It ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no fortunate one, no..." The human raised it's pistol...

[@aaronerror6819]

So basically, super advanced gorillas fall to guerilla tactics because they couldn't be arsed to use heat vision.

[@avroarchitect1793]

Thermals are also near useless in the jungle from the ground. The vegetation and humidity block most of the IR light. It's only really useful from the air or at ranges so close it provides no advantage.

[@jaydeleon8094]

tell me you don't know how thermals work without telling me you don't know how thermals work.

[@RAPTOR948]

I like this spin on sci-fi, where we usually got aliens able to overwhelm humanity, this time around, aliens grow to fear us as we're adjusted for war. And even against a larger force and a foe with greater technology, we overcome because we're naturally built for war. We treat war like a hunt, and that hunt is for blood and honor. For the sake of protecting our own.

[@adcaptandumvulgus4252]

It's a good thing they didn't have any radar type devices to track troop or vehicle movement

[@DrivewayToad]

Humanity let one frigate escape for one of two reasons: 1. Someone has to tell the story. 2. We ran out of mines.

[@robertniver5947]

This one is phenomenal! The best one, yet! 🤘🤘🤘

[@JoaoSoares-rs6ec]

In short don't mess with the humans

[@scottdatplanetsave]

Ever

[@JoaoSoares-rs6ec]

@@scottdatplanetsave never.

[@Lmiller201]

Thanks!

[@scifistories1977]

Thanks Kyle! You're too kind.

[@Maximus51022]

I love it, I was a combat engineer in the us army and booby traps/ambushes are kind of our thing lol. In the beginning you mentioned that the aliens thought humanity were primitive so I think it would be fitting if you were able to work in some Vietnam style pit and spike traps a little bit more

[@kknn-s2h]

I am the lorax, I speak for the trees, and the trees...... They speak Vietnamese

[@kirkjones9639]

1 or 2 hundred soldiers, do not an Army make. 3 squads to a platoon, three platoons to a company, three companies to a battalion, three battalions to a regiment, three regiments to a division, three divisions to a corps, three corps to an army. That is the broad strokes of it, as there is a lot of variation, here and there.

[@triggerdude]

This is by far the best one I have heard in quite some time. Great job to the author, it was a great piece!

[@eclipsestorm1975]

Best part was it only took 24 humans to wipe out their entire force

[@RensStoryteller]

I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees, and gods help us all, they speak the tongue of the Humies

[@PsionNovastar]

This was a lot better then I expected from the bowels of Reddit. Deliciously ironic and punny species choice. And love how they got slowly ground down by guerilla warfare and artillery strikes. "ThE AliENs WeRE GIMped." The aliens were stupid. It was established right out of the gate that they were blinding themselves by this "honor duel" system and expected us to follow the same rule book. We in turn chucked the book over our shoulder and did what humanity always does whenever a technologically superior opponent invades; dig in and fight dirty until the enemy either dies from attrition or gets fed up and leaves. Historically, guerilla warfare almost always favors the defenders.

[@jmx415]

"it was later found, humanity army was only composed of 20 vietnameses and 4 IRA members"

[@westongarner-qo2ez]

1,000th like!👍👍👍 Awesome video!🤘😎🤘 Interesting story!🙊🙉🙈

[@fabiopauli420]

8:40 whoever build that trap only joined the army cause he played to much cod zombies

[@killzoneisa]

Wonder what number COD they up to.

[@Singlemethod4217]

Heard the other side of this story, pretty interesting. Need more like this.

[@brookerickettson4950]

Also. You break into the enemy base(or so you assume) and there is a singular strang item sitting out in the open. Doing something seemingly innocent......they just had to approach closer and examine the object....instead of retreating like mad . Bc its a bomb.

[@SuperXAsh]

Blazkowickz: If this is your best, then your best won't do. You're among wolves now... and these are our woods.

[@Terranallias18]

> Get recommended HFY story > Look inside > Aliens are gimped so humanity could win

[@maxthibodeau3627]

yep, i hate one sided stories.

[@jaydeleon8094]

I mean, what you want, the point is terrestial vs terrestial, and space vs space. there's not much that would help in that environment beyond that.

[@maxthibodeau3627]

i feel like guerilla warfare will be much less effective with advanced sensor technology and drones. but that just an idea, there are people who get paid a lot of money to make educated guesses about future war tactics and technology. i would like to hear what other peoples theory's are.

[@arcdecibel9986]

Drones and sensors can be jammed for a tiny fraction of what they cost to build. A car battery, copper wire, two sticks, a basic knowledge of antennae theory, and electrical engineering can create a cloud of electric "noise" so "loud" that no radio communication or radar return is possible. HARM (Homing anti-radiation) missiles can destroy cheap outposts like that, but they are expensive, and all a foe has to do is switch on another one. Similar constructs can block visual and LADAR sensors. All the while, an enemy force can move and fight unimpeded as long as it isn't electronic. The only way to get around this is to make drones autonomous, or semi-autonomous, and even then their sensors can be blinded. So can organic ones, making a question of whether which sensor interference works better and who has better countermeasures. However, that's just the combat part of guerilla warfare. The other part is demoralizing the enemy populace enough that they abandon the war. We're living this now. Iraq and Afghanistan, for instance, were easy countries to conquer and hold. I fought in those wars, and they were simple with the correct tactics. No way the US could lose them. UNLESS support had been won within the US itself, and guerillas exploited political divides. They still do that today with the Israel/Hamas conflict, and the people championing the insurgents would also likely be killed by them. But they don't know that, or don't care. It was the Soviets who first developed those tactics of guerilla war, infiltrating enemy societies in a long and well-planned effort to overturn the institutions through "hearts and minds", specifically adapted to whatever society they felt they need to attack. Nicaragua was different from the US, which was different from Vietnam, but they got their activists all the same. That's another dimension you have to consider, and it's arguably the most important one.

[@maxthibodeau3627]

@@arcdecibel9986 good points. i have another theory, im sure there are satellites than can see through ground cover to see enemy's hiding (its just top secret), that combined with good artillery options (maybe even space launched ordinance) could just instantly vaporize the entire area. (once the ordnance hit). you could essentially win a war in 10 minutes. with a simultaneous attack of every target in a country.

[@leonturtle9521]

This is one of the best stories I have heard

[@MrEmiriv]

_we have lasers _we have cybertruck

[@Shogun459]

Humans: A small talent for war.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Combat maths: 2 pigs +1 MG = 1 dead platoon

[@eganmacegan3724]

That got my blood pumping. Awesome.

[@ChristopherNicholasWoodsJones]

Happy to know, there’s still Snakeeaters in the future, Rangers lead the way

[@noxproductions6851]

they let the frigate escape because dead men tell no tales.

[@aanavnayak3130]

Vietnam surrending it’s defense plans to the world before the alien invasion: Outcome:

[@anthonya995]

Love to see this as a movie

[@ogrebeast64]

Well told! Kudos!

[@overlord5843]

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!!!

[@PongPogPonderan]

I love the Monkey Bomb in the 8th minute XD

[@nathans.3751]

Really excellent. Glad I found your channel.

[@praetor9822]

I know what this reminds me of. "You dare to refuse my batchall?!"

[@kennylstockton6805]

thank you, I enjoyed every word !

[@blackstar8999]

This was good i liked it alot ❤🎉

[@ants7279]

We could have been cousins but you rejected our love and now you must suffer the consequences.

[@jdtheone]

Good story I like it and have no complaints you do good work take the compliment and calm your soul we are your fans and support you 👍

[@JAGraptor]

Reading the title makes me think that this is a reference to when the trees are speaking Finnish.

[@n00bist723]

The original joke is "The Trees Speak in Vietnamese" which tho the Vietnam war is 1955-75 and the Winter War is 1939-40 the adaptation of the joke to the Winter War came after the Vietnam version. Vietnam is the most prolific example of guerilla warfare and as such spawned the joke and with it's spread, now "The ____ are speaking ____" is just synonymous with guerilla warfare but it all wraps back to a screen shot of a scared Ms. Puff from spongebob with an M1 helmet that has an ERDL cloth cover and a 5 round 5.56 stripper clip strapped to it, and an M16a1 photo shopped onto her with a funny little phrase at the top. Also the first iteration of the finish version is "When the snow starts speaking Finnish."

[@JAGraptor]

@@n00bist723 Good to know.

[@JAGraptor]

@@n00bist723 Good to know.

[@spacethings8773]

Fortunate sons start playing

[@nomus1172]

Welp the danger now is that those gorilla aliens start to also adopt similar tactics in warfare. It happened when the British attacked the 13 colonies

[@AgentPepsi1]

You F****D with Terra..... To most others, if not all, in the galaxy, humans are the stuff of their nightmare's nightmares; they are quite literally the things that go "bump in the night".

[@glennbrymer4065]

Hey, you are seriously writing some good shit!

[@RichardBlain-d6j]

this sounds ABOUT RIGHT

[@Hijax666]

Definitely fantasy thinking it would ever go down like that.

[@mikkelnpetersen]

Humanity, our national sport is war.

[@gracecookie4604]

loved the fallout monkey trap

[@commandercritic9036]

1:31 - 1:35 well that was the aliens FIRST mistake 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@ColonelEviscerator]

How do you confuse right for rite, and site for sight?

[@tluda]

Fantastic story

[@jeremybruns3372]

This was beyond amazing.