Seinfeld: All Non-Standup Cold Opens

All openings to Seinfeld episodes that did not include Jerry giving standup.
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[@manonlaviggne1085]

To this day I tell friends they are killing independent Georges.

[@booradley0x0]

It’s crazy that you don’t need any context, these small snippets are still hilarious

[@JusNoBS420]

They typically had nothing to do with the episode

[@emiach]

What would the context be? They start the episodes

[@stephenthomas1492]

I never noticed that Jerry wore jeans to a funeral. He has a style and he's sticking to it!

[@jonny-b4954]

I wore jeans to funerals haha. They ain't gonna care 6 foot under

[@doveandpatch]

This is just nit-picking, but this was not Susan's funeral, it was just a visit after the gravestone had been placed, which often takes place months after the funeral. Sometimes there's a bit of a service, but often just the nearest and dearest gather and meet to see the stone.

[@COULDbWORSE1]

STICKING IT!

[@AndrewReevesArt]

That wasn’t the funeral, they were just visiting Lilly. 😂

[@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr]

@@AndrewReevesArtpoor Lilly

[@SocietyUnplugged]

I never noticed that non-standup cold opens started in season 7 (2 episodes) and standup scenes were basically gone in season 8 and 9.

[@robertwhitcomb6105]

David was gone, so Jerry had a lot more to handle. I’m guessing the stand up monologues became too much of a task

[@mattbradford8227]

The Lloyd Braun episode with Matt McKoy. His famous line was "that serenity now crap doesnt work, because it may be serenity now but it's always insanity later".

[@rockyevans1584]

You butchered the quote, but it is a great moment in the show

[@andrewhaywood1262]

Peter Keleghan played Braun better imo, he already played an insane forest ranger on The Red Green Show around the same time.

[@roringusanda2837]

​@@andrewhaywood1262😮 Lloyd Braun is RANGER GORD??!!

[@raddastronaut]

Kramer acting a Jerry doing standup might be the best thing in this show ever.

[@jakoblindberg8623]

It's so effing funny I have no words.

[@peterfitzpatrick7032]

Not that theres anything wrong with it.... 😏

[@dugout3997]

His goofy smile is priceless

[@pozzythump868]

Jerry also spoofs himself in the Summer of George episode... "What's the deal with airplane peanuts?" It's about nothing.

[@mellowmoods8393]

I've seen every Seinfeld episode 50 -200 times each. Many of these cold opens were never aired for whatever reason, so they are a treat as I have never seen them before. Thx!

[@F_ckAllTrumpVoters]

Networks cut parts of the show out for more advertisements once they're syndication. It's bullshit.

[@mitchkeller5055]

What I’ve seen pretty much every single one of

[@John-QuidProNoMo]

I'm still checking out the DVDS from the library and binge watching it. I've seen it so much that I can work and listen to it and feel as though I'm watching it.

[@JusNoBS420]

It is a nice treat huh.

[@MustangMike012]

Arguably the greatest sitcom of all time

[@Jamietheroadrunner]

Next to Veep. Julia Louis is the greatest sitcom actress of all time tho!

[@cockneylol]

No, unarguably the greatest!

[@Jamietheroadrunner]

@@MustangMike012 Happy holidays to u too buddy

[@mikeh4818]

It's amazing how well it's held up. 30+ years later and it's still on cable TV on multiple channels every day. The only show in modern history that could potentially compete with that longevity is maybe The Office?

[@BL-mf3jp]

1. The Simpsons 2. Seinfeld 3. The Office

[@CR3271]

5:22 This is why I never understood the criticism of the series finale. Jerry and George got their wish, Babu got his revenge (as he promised in the final scene of the episode in which he was deported)... It was just the perfect recap and closure to some of these seemingly throw-away lines. Maybe people just forgot about these things in the moment. In hindsight, it's brilliant.

[@alzychoze6591]

It was confession without redemption.

[@thecappeningchannel515]

I loved the finals

[@JohnSmith-bq6nf]

Curb your enthusiasm fixed the finale in a way

[@alexlipera1211]

I don't remember so many of these and I consider myself a huge Seinfeld fan. These are gold Jerry, GOLD!

[@winstonsmith8597]

Bannon.

[@anthonym5917]

Bania

[@yopiff]

Do you mind if I use that?

[@uncovidvaxxforthestrongand3582]

that bania guy was annoying thats why jerry hated him lmao

[@danielrivadeneira185]

Yeah, a lot of these I don’t remember, and I’ve seen all the episodes. Maybe some of these were left off because they were too bold

[@elsaspaulding148]

Addicted to Seinfeld..the best show EVER.

[@jakoblindberg8623]

Frasier edges Seinfeld imo.

[@natestaub5113]

33:56

[@boogitybear2283]

I like his Stand Up because it’s clean! Jerry Seinfeld is a Comedic Genius!

[@natestaub5113]

12:33

[@natestaub5113]

7:38

[@12classics39]

"But we broke up." "And yet he continues to live."

[@user-hu3iy9gz5j]

Nice joke about female self-obsession

[@Ckyt572]

I started to watch Seinfeld like 2 weeks ago for the first time and I can't stop. I am not good at laughing with sitcoms (actually I never laugh) but Seinfeld... Omg. I can't even see memes without lmao. They give me life. I love George Costanza! 😂😂 This sitcom is brilliant!

[@Flayne009]

I'm curious: Did you start with the first season? I'm a huge Seinfeld fan but the first season (and the second imo) is but a mere glimmer of the greatness to come. I'm surprised you powered through to the good stuff.

[@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr]

@@Flayne009imo the second season has some of the best episodes

[@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr]

Why don’t you ever laugh? That’s so sad 😞 you’ve attracted me to your spectrum-ness by making me want to make you laugh 😭

[@stevemarks1511]

And to think each eposode is based on Larry David or a writers life experience is gold pure gold. We all know someone in our life like a cast member of Seinfeld, that's the genius of the show.😊

[@bunnycrazygirl]

you get the vibe

[@RoryZ23]

Puddy is absolutely hilarious.

[@avalonjustin]

It's gonna be rough.

[@josephdell8056]

Vegatable lasagna over there, classic.

[@roscoefoofoo]

That's right.

[@callaway86]

8 ball

[@robertwhitcomb6105]

Yeah, that’s right

[@glendaw370]

My not so secret obsession, and I'm proud of it.

[@dont-want-no-wrench]

nyc in the 90's was so different from now.

[@oz4553]

Man it was pure trash…and don’t let me start with the 80s where crime was the number 1 hobby of my fellow new yorkers

[@koboldengineering7687]

Ain't much better now

[@diedampfbrasse98]

@@koboldengineering7687 until you learn to read and actually understand numbers ... people like you wouldnt last a day in 90s NY, when for example the homicide rater per 100k was 5 times higher then today.

[@koboldengineering7687]

@@diedampfbrasse98 ok?

[@ezekielbrockmann114]

I think New York was probably nice in the 1820s. That was a great decade!

[@arkox8]

That series is pure genius

[@ronniesmith2476]

1 of the best sitcoms in history

[@roeko10]

See Jerry put a big smile on his face before burst into laughter 10:57

[@danielle3528]

I love how Jerry snatched away from George while visiting Susans grave. He also does it in the Bosco episode when George gets stuck with Peterman 😂😂😂😂

[@NYUK-x-4]

He also did it when he left George with Elaine's dad when he got up to go to the bathroom. S2 ep3 I think

[@ingrid9635]

Also when George's parents found out he slept with a girl on their bed

[@peterwinston2359]

I watch Seinfeld every night on Netflix before I go to sleep. I love this show. George is my favorite main character and I love Newman too.

[@user-fs7dr1wi9r]

If you type in Seinfeld 24/7, it'll take you to a 24 hour Seinfeld site that plays endless episodes 24/7

[@thebagelsproductions]

An honourable mention has to go to J. Peterman, Elaine's boss. 😂

[@peterwinston2359]

He's hooked on the yam yam!

[@thebagelsproductions]

🤣🤣

[@jerrychaney7232]

I do the same thing!

[@poltotinco4eva]

no explicit 'dirty' words, just clever hints, another genius of this show.

[@enduring22]

Definitely

[@poltotinco4eva]

@J. Eagle LOL

[@keithbronson9777]

@J. Eagle Exactly

[@doloresstrong2198]

agreed and words that became part of everyday speaking

[@GeorgAndexlerAndexler]

Larry David, Jerry's big influence on the show??

[@lust4bass]

23:45,» - Serenity now!! - Are you supposed to yell that? - The man on the tape was not specific!...

[@stevemarks1511]

We all can relate to each episode that's the genius of the show

[@ejej6934]

4:58 : Foreshadowing the series finale? About prison, George says, "Maybe someday."

[@lostskull7467]

Yeah, that's some awesome accidental foreshadowing 🤣

[@rividizd]

The 🐐 of sitcoms.

[@prajnachan333]

"Hey George- the ocean called, they're running out of shrimp." -While George is stuffing his face with co-workers (!) 😂 🎉

[@JusNoBS420]

He's later thinks of a comeback... "well, the jerk store called and they're running out of you!"

[@Truechildofgod]

I'm with Elaine on the "quiting your job and never working again" lol

[@kayneseverino7]

Soo... Susan's dead

[@paulshryack1047]

LITERALLY BEST OF ALL TIME 25 YEARS LATER MOM AND I STILL WATCH ALSO DAILY🌴

[@SPMask]

Ahh, the 90's, a simpler time!

[@aleynamutlu4206]

İf technology supposed to make our lives better than why the hell we miss times in older days.

[@thinkforyourself828]

Everyone believes the past to be better.

[@kitcoffey7194]

The 90s sucked!

[@TheListenerCanon]

@@thinkforyourself828 I'll will say that movies and music were better in the past, but TV shows (sorry) and video games are better today.

[@TheListenerCanon]

@@kitcoffey7194 Yeah, it's not like it also had Nirvana and Pulp Fiction. Oh wait...

[@Karenanneseven]

The best show about nothing! ❤ Now if the world seems a little dark & gloomy, I watch a couple of episodes & it seems light again! ❤

[@Mskatz007]

I love this

[@Karenanneseven]

@@Mskatz007 🥰

[@avifu1316]

Same

[@Karenanneseven]

@@avifu1316 🫶

[@michaelflowers5712]

Me Too!

[@edwardestes8038]

When this show was new....i just never got it.Thursday after work many of us guys were a our local watering hole playing darts all night....and a good friend would always say.....see ya Ed.....Seinfeld is on tonight.So 15 years later i own the whole disc set and just can't get enough of Jerry and the gang.King of Queens is a great one too......not as good but they both have the old man in them.Jerry Stiller was a hoot.Georges dad in one and Arther in the other.To me he made both shows even greater.RIP Jerry.

[@beckyleggett9879]

Love this and king of queens

[@Rick62153]

So I’m NOT the only one! I remember thinking - this is dumb and who’s that Radar lookalike. Sometime after the show ended, something clicked- and I couldn’t get enough of it. I too bought the complete set - with the comments and all. The bloopers are even funnier - because you know the actual scene. You can sometimes see them start to crack up in the scenes that aired. I learned my lesson and watched ‘King of Queens’ during its run. Jerry Stiller was gold.

[@kennylevitt1050]

Jerry Stiller is absolutely hilarious as Georges dad. For example, the old "stop short" trick he says," I invented that 30 years ago. he (Kramer) stole it from me." This was his reaction when his wife says, " Kramer made a pass at me in the car".. He stopped short and reached over to protect her from hitting windshield. Very funny stuff. Then, when Stiller arranged an interview for George to be a bra salesman. "The least you can do is go to the library and do some research on bras." George says, What is there to know? Stiller demands his wife bring one to look at. She comes back with it, Stiller grabs it and says, "well there's the loops in back and cups in front". He tosses it back to his wife, it falls on the table. And she screams "now it has ketchup all over it." And George is just shaking his head not believing the whole scene. Imho, Stiller was a great minor actor in this series. Perfect as George's father.

[@Vincent-or5wl]

George the master of self deprecating humor

[@toddpolish]

…and his domain.

[@Rick62153]

At first, I saw him as a Radar lookalike but eventually, IMO, I felt he was the best actor of them all.

[@kylewestlake982]

I love the bad president name bit!

[@joshfactor1]

dude, seriously, this was brilliant; those clip show scenes make perfect bookends to this compilation

[@Cnw8701]

Man, I seriously want to know how the hell Jerry and George can score with the most gorgeous, classy women! Lol

[@elizabradley4797]

It's what Larry David wanted for himself.

[@cactaceous]

Jerry is a comedian who frequently appears on TV. George’s is a mystery.

[@23aceballer]

@@cactaceoushe’s stocky, strong and fast he can run like the wind!

[@cactaceous]

@@23aceballer Powerful. He is so powerful he can lift 100 lbs right above his head.

[@sidstorch2615]

@@cactaceous Supposed to be snark but seriously, how many men can do it? Hardly anyone.

[@babydriver8134]

Remember that interview, where the host thought Jerry had LOST his show, rather than quitting at its peak?

[@bossfan49]

Larry King

[@babydriver8134]

@@bossfan49 I thought so, but wasn't sure.

[@GabrielGarcia-jf2uc]

@@babydriver8134 Larry King said to Jerry: "they didn't cancel you, you cancel them right?" ...somehow Jerry got offended and overrracted and didn't let it go.

[@babydriver8134]

@@GabrielGarcia-jf2uc and?

[@cilleyj]

Jay Leno not Larry king I think

[@marika7848]

“A whole new market, medication for the well.” Fast forward to 2020. Very prophetic.

[@speabody]

I love the shopkeeper at 9:15 Happily announces his low price hoping it will get him a sale, instantly turns hardass "get the hell out of here" then chipper again at the end. I'd patronize the hell out of his shop.

[@Flayne009]

George must have Jedi mind tricked the guy because George reads the price and it's $1.89 but the shopkeeper says it's $1.19.

[@southgatetrain]

Glad to see some I haven't seen before thanks to syndication. Plus, the idea of Kramer & Elaine mooning another driver is so funny! 😂

[@yarbo9900]

5:32 best 50 seconds of television. 'That's show business.'

[@globetrekker86]

Best Seinfeld quotes (in no particular order): “Serenity now!!!” “Festivus for the rest of us” “Are you sponge-worthy?” “No soup for you. Next!” “Last time I open for a rodeo.” “That’s gold, Jerry. Gold!” “George is getting upset!” “Giddyup!” “And, by the way… They’re real, and they’re spectacular!” “Yeah, that’s right.” “Are you still the…master of your domain?” “I’m queen of the castle.” “I proclaim this the Summer of George!” “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” “Get!… Out!” *shove* “I was in the pool! I was in the pool!!!” “Mulva?” “G-Bone? There’s no G-bone.” / “There’s a G-spot.” / “That’s a myth.”

[@rroslynricola3416]

Remembered Sienfied when I was in my late tenns (90’s) but never really watched it! At 42 Im loving it now! From England with love!

[@rroslynricola3416]

Teens!

[@thecappeningchannel515]

Seinfeld and x files

[@ZoKitchen]

great show ever

[@loisdgilbert8639]

"I can't believe it's not murder"🤣🤣🤣

[@Balthorium]

From the butter substitute lol

[@incarnateTheGreat]

"I love prison." "It is fascinating." "Hmm...maybe someday." Foooooreshadowing.

[@wordtruth6116]

Greatest show EVER!

[@BlueeeBanisters]

i love the character of george costanza 😭 i thinks is my second favorite character in all of the sitcoms i’ve watched

[@avalonjustin]

So many good memories watching Seinfeld😄

[@kenw.1112]

THIS SHOW IS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC! NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I WATCH IT I AM LITERALLY GLUED TO IT AND LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!😊😊

[@kayneseverino7]

News about China is an instant page-turner

[@tonyrandall3146]

Jerry still wearing blue jeans and sneakers to this day.

[@richard21solava]

FUN FACT!!!! @ 9:38 when Jerry and George begin to talk about a plane crash in the Andes and in order to survive they eat each other. That was a real disaster that occurred back in 1972. It’s called the Andes flight disaster. Some people survived that crash and waited for help for 72 days. As people began to perish the others ate the remains of the few that passed away in order to survive up in the freezing mountains until help arrived. They were flying out of Uruguay into Chile and it was for a rugby match not a soccer match

[@GEES44DC]

Perish

[@roringusanda2837]

😮my whole life I thought it was a soccer team?!!

[@fozzybear8878]

Thank you for making this for us. :)

[@markwegner6821]

the best. THE BEST! Seinfeld. Combo. (Length, choice, themes) Even Seinfeld would watch this through and laugh 😁 a new.

[@Crystal-xl2xv]

“How about I can’t believe it’s not murder” “Why is he (box of Raisinets) dating a Pepsi? They’re not having children.” LFMAO! Jerry is a riot.

[@prajnachan333]

"You wouldn't eat me? I'm your best friend!" "I would eat you." "Thank you." Just outrageous. One of the funniest things ever said. A little dark, but hilarious nonetheless 🤣 (Georgie Porgie)

[@crystalshaw8744]

The tape wasn't specific...lmbo. First off funny as hell. RIP to two of the funniest sitcom parents...smile. .

[@josephzuchini8552]

I took a acting class and it's not as easy as ppl think these ppl are really talented especially these types of shows it's crazy

[@geminijohnson4019]

I miss this show

[@markwegner6821]

It finishes with George and Seinfeld sitting in the cafe. George says, what's wrong with your voice. Jerry says, I've been screaming at Hecalers all night. (Reminds me of poor Kramer's predicament in real life.)

[@flowerchild89]

I miss this show 😂😂😂😂! It was great!! I watch old episodes whenever I need a good laugh!

[@user-fs7dr1wi9r]

Hell, it'll be syndicated forever.. It'll always be showing on some channel

[@flowerchild89]

​@@user-fs7dr1wi9rI sure hope so 😃

[@laura2372]

When Kramer parks his groovy-ass baby-poop green Chevrolet...gold, Jerry, gold!🤣🚗 And when Kramer & Newman are in the park chatting about aliens!👽🛸

[@MrUnknown-wf1xf]

Kramer you Have to love em never a dull moment lmao he literally cracks me up laughing

[@elizabradley4797]

Love this ~ Grocer ain't taking any crap from cheap haggling Geoge.

[@oldskoolrasleingfan]

31:41 don't forget about the DeLorean from Back to the Future

[@solunasunrise]

must be a pleasure owning a 70s landyacht in the middle of manhattan

[@billbudd2535]

Okay they're getting better.

[@Applecompuser]

One guy has his life saved too. Junior mints are very refreshing.

[@pozzythump868]

My friends & I test each other with Seinfeld trivia, like "name five fake movies invented for the series." Such as Deathblow, Chunnel, Cry Cry Again, etc. or, "name three famous stars that were in The Little Kicks" (many people refer to this as Catfight). Larry David was undercredited as a great writer for most of the 181 episodes.

[@suzmik]

“Sack Lunch” 😂

[@hristopopov7345]

All the cold opens are quintessential Seinfeld.

[@sethrizzke]

37:02 one of the funniest Seinfeld cold opens of all time, season 9 while not the best season deserved mote credit and appreciation

[@Flayne009]

For me seasons 7-9 are prime Seinfeld firing on all cylinders. There are some of us later season lovers out there.

[@themonsterunderyourbed9408]

​@@Flayne009 I agree. 5 and 6 have their standouts too, but for the most part 7-8-9 are my favorites.

[@GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023]

Moops!!!!!!

[@AckzaTV]

i cant believe its not murder is such a smooth rich and creamy joke, it says so much about the 90s and how rediculous "I cant believe its not butter"'s name really was. Its crazy that he can even make a joke like 'i cant believe its not murder" it just keeps getting funnier everytime i think of jerry saying it. If Jerry Seinfeld the real man ever did go alec baldwin and killed someone, he really would be able to get awayh with it because he would just make the court laugh andthe judge would sorta expect some funny material.

[@oliviabb73849]

Kramer home alone/staying in before 38:44 is my unmedicated ADD 😂❤

[@marieharris1230]

My FAVORITE SIT COM OFVALL TIME. I NEVER GT TIRED OF IT.

[@orbitaljellyfish808]

Jason Alexander is painfully underrated. Carries the whole show.

[@rustinonthevine]

He was never underrated even in the 90's. Everyone considered him and Michael Richards to be the strongest actors on the show. Jerry is the one who is underrated bc everyone considers him the weakest actor, but he's actually very good for a guy who had never acted before. I'm not sure you know what underrated means.

[@Max-zv8hm]

@@rustinonthevine people will try to argue about anything. I guess when you have no life that’s all ya got

[@diane7295]

JA is portrayed as a less than desirable person in the show so it’s understandable that he’s not as well liked as the others. He pulls it off so well.

[@dannythompson1948]

​@@rustinonthevine Jerry, is that you..?

[@UncleKauffee]

@@Max-zv8hm people will chime in with their opinion on anything. But I guess when you have no life, commenting to strangers is all you’ve got. See how simple that was, simp? You are above nobody.

[@patrickwentzell4638]

Elaine has the Cher look it's so amazingly fabulous .

[@jimburig7064]

This is still great!

[@tomoarigato]

Kramer eating the hotdogs is the best one. 😂

[@christopherbramwell8262]

Arguably the best sitcom ever. I agree 100%. SO many great things to mention. Very briefly, THE WRITERS. JERRY & Larry. The chemistry of the nucleus of the 4. 5 if you add Newman. Director And Ackerman. Underrated character J.Peterman.

[@xtheunknown4662]

Some people absolutely hate this show. Awesome.

[@burkelong4376]

That was a great collection. Kudos to the Seinfeld family of cast and crew.

[@mikwcas5110]

Thanks for this Capt!

[@adamkuc9440]

the hell? George indeed could pull some women! this chess playing good looking one is a wow

[@MsTdougherty]

The greatest show ever!

[@nikmills]

It really reminds me of New York in the 80's

[@NewFalconerRecords]

The woman who beats George at chess in the third opening played Cher in a Sonny and Cher biopic. Looking at her, you can see that she was the perfect choice.

[@Rick62153]

Instantly emasculated!

[@alnathbeta]

Her name is Renee Faia

[@Richard-bv4ev]

​@@Rick621533:59

[@globetrekker86]

“Last time I open for a rodeo!” It ought to be the new catchphrase in lieu of “not my first rodeo”

[@CocoapieRodriguez]

I am literally every character ❤️

[@Nick-NY]

Thank You for this.

[@defur45]

Great editing

[@YZFR16666]

Roll down the window on the convertible😂

[@willisknapick4405]

Only Kramer would have a car in Manhattan. And not just any old car but a yacht! 😂

[@Rick62153]

Many of the comments on here are as funny as the show was. Great humor!

[@imnugget8085]

Seinfeld and Friends might be the best all human show ever historical sihce a.i has now been making plot point , art, and even cgi plus new a.i intro its cool sad and crazy

[@jaengen]

What language are you attempting here?

[@drewp.weiner2473]

Friends is nowhere even close to seinfeld

[@Flayne009]

"So what do you think of that alien autopsy?" "Oh that's real." "I think so too." Hahaha. It's a shame a lot of these are cut out in syndication.

[@CaptainJZH]

Yea it's really fascinating to see the edits they make for time

[@deannamadrigal7503]

I've been watching a lot of this on KZbin, I walked into doctors office yesterday and said, Hellloow. Just like Jerry, I 😂

[@You_Can_Do_If]

the writers are genius