Self-Care = Self Esteem = Stress Management

Counselor Carl (serenityonlinet...) explains the importance of self-care skills for good self-esteem and stress management. He describes physical, emotional, spiritual, and relationships self-care skills and lists red flags that might indicate a deficit in self-care skills. He explains why some people never learned good self-care skills in childhood and offers suggestions for how to learn them as an adult. He also states that improving self-care is a lifelong journey. Counselor Carl's straight-forward teaching style makes complex concepts easy to understand. Counselor Carl is a licensed, professional counselor with 19 years of clinical experience both online and face-to-face.

[@sylnphil]

I am so glad I have come across you! It is time to keep paying attention to your life as a 66 year old I am beginning!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I'm glad you find my videos helpful. Best wishes!

[@OlympiaSophie]

Thank you for sharing this! The magic word in this video is "self", we really need to focus being healthy on the inside in order to form healthy relationships and lifestyle on the outside!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Olympia! And thanks for sharing.

[@natalietenenbaum541]

Thank you!! I am a therapist and I am currently running a group on self-esteem & self-care for young parents. I'm going to show them this video. Really appreciate this!!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Natalie Tenenbaum I'm glad you found the video helpful. Best wishes!

[@hassanalijah8636]

I know Im asking randomly but does someone know of a trick to log back into an instagram account? I somehow lost my login password. I would love any tips you can give me.

[@angelaknox]

damn got quite a few red flags. I want to work on this. thanks for the video

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Angie knox You're very welcome! Best wishes!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Angie Ornelas Thank you!

[@MrPaddymarley]

I am studying another one of your beneficial presentation this morning.,,your outlines are so clear and easily followed...I make small workbooks of the content for my own benefits and complete them..,I appreciate your work! Thank you!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Patrick!

[@powerofroses1670]

Thank you. Self care is important for all of us. You know, if you were my counselor I would learn a lot from you. Thank you.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Fennel Tea Thank you!

[@josesoto3711]

Yes this is very important and I am really working on it for my recovery 🙏 💪

[@suzannecousineau4472]

As a counsellor myself, this has helped me with how to communicate with my own clients to look at realising their own importance. Thanks Carl x

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Suzanne! I wish you the best!

[@Inam10]

I highly appreciate your videos because I just started my self improvement journey.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you, and best wishes!

[@yvonneoliver4054]

I found you a few years ago. Thank you for helping me with the journey of self-care and healing. Now, I listen to this video again, it’s joyous to find out how much progress I’ve made. You’re an angel with very soothing voice and abundant knowledge!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi Yvonne. Thank for your kind words. Isn't a wonderful feeling to see yourself growing and healing?

[@yvonneoliver4054]

Counselor Carl Indeed! And more wonder to come! :)

[@christinegarden2528]

I am taking control of my life and I have a Page on Facebook called Garden's Palace. I found your video helpful and posted your link. I wish you continued success as you help others get control of their lives.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you so much! best wishes!

[@marketa7752]

I stumbled across your channel again and it reminded me of how helpful your videos are. I love how at the end of the video you outlined that we should not expect perfection from ourselves. I know I got on the path of self care, but I sometimes get frustrated with myself too easily and blame myself for not being able to do better, take better care of myself.. especially establishing boundaries with others, I find this so hard, and I tend to blame myself when I haven't been able to establish one.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi Marketa. I find "Progress not Perfection" to be one the most helpful 12 Step program slogans. The journey of healing and recovery is a process that requires persistence, patience, and mindfulness. And learning to be patient with yourself as you gain new awareness and learn new skills is part of that process.

[@betty8568]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy why do we have to heal. All you are doing is putting the heavy right back on us. Time to start calling the kettle black. You guys are bottom feeders, there isn't enough counseling to erase the the cold dead forehead of my daughter as I kiss her goodbye.

[@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih]

Wonderful- I shall get myself a special self care journal. What a great clear guide to changing our lives. I grew up with narcissist mother ... But maybe not so bad... As all I need to do is to turn around all that care I poured out constantly to others!!! I was a RN & healer also!! I'm kinda excited about this. I was brought up & conditioned not to be "selfish" & Never to be proud of achievements. Terrible really.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

It sounds like you are really on the path of healing and recovery, which is the most important thing. It is not the speed that matters, but the direction. If you continue to follow the path of recovery, it will take you where you want to go.

[@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih]

Counselor Carl - Bless you. I am so grateful I found you today. I too am drawn to Jon Kabat Zin. I now see the path ahead to Freedom from the past. We are So lucky to have such helpful healers as yourself to guide us out of pure hell existence. Perhaps; we then see; being brought so horrendously lower than many could bear; and the humbly it brings; is in itself; our spiritual liberation. As we can go No further down. I had much pride that needed to go. Actually feel as if some poison inside has been lanced & I feel Horrendous. I feel I took on all feelings of narcissistic mother as I felt it was my responsibility (codependance!!) To sort things out. I feel very very sick right now; trying to enforce boundaries against toxic family members. I fèel outnumbered by them & bullied. I use my Bible. I know God Hates abusers.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

@@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih Sometimes with toxic family members, the best boundary is just keeping a safe distance. By definition, trying to have a healthy relationship with toxic persons is not possible. You need to create a safe harbor for yourself where you can heal, grow, and recover so that you can then work to build "a family of choice" that would include only persons who treat you with respect, which may include some current friends and family but also may mean you have to let some significantly unhealthy relationships go.

[@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih]

Counselor Carl - I have let so many go; that barely Anyone left in my life. That is just how codependant i was.. It all started 3 years ago. Thanks for Validating my need for safe distance from toxic family members; as false guilt is a biggie for me.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

@@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih I call it toxic guilt (as opposed to healthy guilt). See this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gWfKY2l_fMSol5Y

[@KasiaZosia04723]

I just love your videos! So informative yet calming... thank you.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you, Kasia. And you're welcome!

[@susanhallett9731]

I like this video Carl, especially when you talk about adding self care practices a little at a time and beginning where you are at right now. It sounds manageable! Progress not perfection 😊

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Susan. I'm glad you found this video helpful. Best wishes in your recovery!

[@alonsogarcia1990]

Thank you so much for these videos. I just learning so much, I am finally seeing a sensible place to evaluate myself and begin a process

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Alonso! I wish you the best in your journey to True Self.

[@BBC4.0]

I have work to do I miss appointments angry and anxious

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You can look at therapy, healing, and growth as all about learning to take care of yourself more skillfully. Best wishes!

[@kellyvanniekerk226]

Thank you so much for all your help.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're very welcome! Best wishes!

[@captaincool6268]

Thanks , for bring a true help easy , direct and practical and the least biased posible , the work you do is really apreciated , thanks

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome! And thank you!

[@lisalatta1422]

Could you please recommend some books for recovering from codependency as you commented in the beginning of the video...ty

[@trangkha6433]

Thank you Carl... this is the video I’ve been looking for

[@sophiadoan6521]

Thank you

[@dawnpartridge4327]

Thank you Carl :)

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@tylerpayne7108]

thank you so much for this video

[@Mike-db7ox]

Thank you VERY much! Gréât...! God Bless 😊❣️👍👍

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you, Mike, and you're welcome!

[@gracievargas6607]

This is all ME!!!!💔💔💔💔

[@Cat-sx6ep]

great advice

[@mileshanson2137]

Hello Dr Carl, I would be interested in group or one on one therapy. Do you have classes availible?

[@sinamkuch3889]

Thanks you sharing

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@alau2058]

I am 65. My father is 97. He expects a greeting kiss on the lips from me and I absolutely HATE that. Yet I am afraid to say no. How do I say no to that and still feel safe?

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Just say you are not comfortable with lip kissing in a pandemic to keep both of you safe. If that upsets him, let it be his problem. You have a right to take care of yourself.

[@krash6951]

^ this. You have a right to be your own person. It doesn’t mean be rude or anything but if something isn’t uncomfortable to you, you don’t have to do it and like Carl said, if he has a problem with something so small let it be his. Dont feel responsible for it

[@lilleeball1148]

Wear a mask & say you don't want to spread your germs to protect him.

[@ljp9402]

thank u

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@a.s.h.5774]

Welp... Every red flag described me- on the bright side is all those red flags make it easy to navigate which way to move forward

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I wish you the best on your journey!

[@panny99]

good advice!!!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you, and best wishes!

[@DanNorton1]

Is self-care consistent with self-sacrifice?

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Dan. Self-care is about doing what is in your long-term best interest. Sometimes self-sacrifice is in your long-term best interest and other times it is not.

[@DanNorton1]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy Hi, thanks for your reply. I'm curious: How would you define "self-sacrifice"?

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

@@DanNorton1 Hi, Dan. I don't use the word "self-sacrifice" in therapy because it it not well-defined. I use words like self-care, self-destructive, and self-sabotaging. Having said that, self-care, or doing what is in my long-term best interest, isn't a simple concept. For example, it is common to say that we have to make compromises in a marriage implying that we are losing something. However, that may not be the case. For example, if making sure that my wife's needs are addressed equally as well as my own in our marriage is a high value and priority I hold, then always getting my way is not in my long term best interests. So, in effect the "compromises" I make in our decision-making process are not me losing something but in fact gaining something - which is being consistent with my true values and priorities.

[@DanNorton1]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy In your view, is it always best to do what is in one's long-term self-interest?

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

@@DanNorton1 Yes, as I defined it and based on my values that are consistent with my True Self.

[@ashleyching3166]

all the red flags...

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Ashley. Then you have your work cut out for you. Best wishes on your journey to self-care!