11 Essential Skills for Recovery from Codependency

Counselor Carl (serenityonlinet...) identifies 11 skills to becoming a recovering codependent, including learning to identify and value their needs and feelings, be assertive, set healthy boundaries, negotiate, value their strengths, understand what they can and can’t control, and more. He encourages them to be kind and patient with themselves as they take the first steps in learning to create healthier relationships. He asks them to “trust the process” and keep the focus on "progress not perfection." Counselor Carl's straight-forward teaching style makes complex concepts easy to understand. Counselor Carl is a licensed, professional counselor with 26 years of clinical experience both online and face-to-face.

[@valeriewalkerwhite9525]

I need to play this on a daily basis

[@Broxigar07]

These videos about how to work on/overcome codependency are thoroughly eye opening. For anyone else seeking any additional help, I personally recommend getting a counselor or therapist and talking with them. It really does help and a lot of places will work with you on payments if finances are an issue. Just remember, as a therapist once told me, "you are not responsible for other people's mental/emotional health". You can be there and support them, but you are not responsible for their health. It sounds heartless at first, but that's the part of you that has denied yourself all of what you give to others. Save some back for yourself, then more, and more. A healthy you helps more than an unhealthy you ever could. You are a champion of yourself, for yourself. The higher you rise the brighter your world will be.

[@annabelaviles1353]

I really needed to hear this, I was emotionally and physically neglected as a child, I have been living to please others and neglected my own needs... Thank you so much for this 🙏

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Annabel!

[@YourOasis97]

thank you for confirming that I'm on the right path to recovery. I always love your videos because you always emphasize at the end the good qualities we codependents have and that I often forget about for myself.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@bbw7973]

Hi Carl, so glad you posted another video!!!

[@dakine4238]

I found your videos refreshing because they are straight to the point, practical, and helpful. These days people make countless videos that don't have much value. I'm curious if you have any on interdependence for people that are afraid of relationships ?

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you for your kind words.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I do not have a video on interdependence. But I do have one on fear of intimacy. Here is the link: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oaqvqaSYf8-cqNksi=5L4h4jbf4NpgLJMC

[@dakine4238]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy Thank you, I will take a look. Appreciate all of the helpful videos you have!

[@sll110]

Wonderful, Wonderful, one of best videos for healing, Thank you so much ..🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈💗💗💗🎌🎌

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you!

[@GooseBJJ]

Hi Carl, I have watched all of your content on codependency and it has had more impact on me than any other youtube series I've watched. So clear, concise and helpful towards recovery. You're making such a big difference in a world where therapy is incredibly expensive, I sincerely hope you know that. Thank you for all of your helpful videos.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you for your kind words, Dean! I wish you the best in your recovery.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Your work is transformational for me…thank you for your soothing healing delivery of such crucial information to heal from excessive codependency & people pleasing coming from narcissistic family

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome! And thank you!

[@alimay967]

A great summary! Thank you very much!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@wedaad885]

Thank you for this. I always pleased plle for acceptance. Now i allow plle to walk all over my feelings and needs. I struggle to assert myself. Feel like I am a bad person😢

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

That's the "shame talking." You need to turn shame into self-love and self-care by learning to recognize the "shame talking" and knowing it is lying to you.

[@garrettcal1812]

Thank you for this channel. I'm really practicing skill #11. Trying to use past trauma during my youth to bring forth my gifts. I feel although it's a calling at this point. Just trying to work out the details. Thank you for your compassion. May God continue to bless you and yours.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you, Garrett! Best wishes in your recovery!

[@lucindacortez7534]

Peaceful voice is relaxing to listen to your videos, thank you

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@johnholmes6741]

New listener and subscriber. I like the way you keep it simple. Quality information. I look forward to watching more of your videos. They’re very helpful. Thank you

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you, John! And you're welcome! If you're interested in a specific topic, look at my playlists. I have posted nearly 100 videos.

[@capitaldiverse]

thank you so much !!! i love these content

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome! And thank you!

[@vanessamaewardhani4543]

Thank you so much!! Its really help!! God bless❤

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome Vanessa! I wish you the best.

[@EthanNicodemus]

Thank you for sharing this!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@mieze3333]

Thank you

[@pankajkale7933]

Sir Please keep posting.Thank you

[@3zooz17]

Agreed

[@cyber_tech120.]

Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.

[@pyrosaat1566]

Your channel has great recovery!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@dakine4238]

Do you have a workbook for all of these?

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Sorry, but I do not.

[@alimay967]

Carl, could you advise anything on point 9. To deal with the pain directly without the therapy ? Maybe some books or videos? Or just in which direction should I look for the information in this regard? Thank you very much!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I recommend attending ACA, Which now includes adult children of alcoholics AND dysfunctional families if that applies to you. They do a lot of what I call wounded child healing. In addition I have a playlist of videos on inner child healing.

[@alimay967]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy Thank you very much for your help and support, Carl!

[@3zooz17]

❤❤❤

[@sll110]

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💓💓💓💓💓💓

[@s9o9]

Hi Carl, how can I contact you? What is your email?

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Via my website: serenityonlinetherapy.com/

[@micaelabrooke1858]

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐦

[@sacmakiz]

Hi Carl, missed you very much my friend! Thank you for coming back!

[@susanhallett9731]

There is a lot here to reflect on. Working on myself and my issues is a life long journey. And your message is that we are worth it. Thanks Carl

[@TofuTeo]

So glad you're still making videos 7 years later, thank you.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@bbw7973]

We are waiting patiently!!!

[@deepamehta1110]

- no one asked feelings - responses: subjugate, fawn - our feelings are not important - other-focused > safety - keep focus on others so you can stay safe and not reveal - if I reveal > irrelevant & shameful - “my job is to please others” Solutions > you understand you - I can’t control what others think, I don’t care what they think. - healthy people hold space for us - healthy people ask what I think - healthy people try to get you - if they don’t fully get me, but they don’t exploit or fault me - compassionate healthy talk - value of understanding, loving, and healing yourself - the more self-love, the less others can take advantage

[@valentinakoper1920]

❤❤❤

[@DwyaneWadeCounty]

Hello. Great video 👍 Lately, I have been feeling an emotion that I don't understand. I may be driving, and another car may cut me off and almost cause a crash. I become alert and press the brake and veer away. Safe. Finally, I feel like a wave of cool sensation all over my body, including back and legs. But I am also experiencing that sensation when talking to people or strangers. I may say something, not sure if it's appropriate or not, and then I feel that strange cool skin sensation on my back and legs and pretty much everywhere. What does it mean?

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I'm not sure what that is. It could be an anxiety/fight or flight reaction that's always been there but you are now becoming more aware of your own body/emotions since being in recovery. If you've had a codependent pattern of surviving, it would not be surprising that you learned early on to disconnect from your body/feelings/needs. And if you are now paying more attention to your own needs and feelings, then you would quite naturally become more aware of bodily sensations that might have always been there.

[@DwyaneWadeCounty]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy you are probably right. I used to have pain in my heart and I would always freak out and go to the ER. Every test would come back normal. It took me a while for me to finally figured out that it was actually the emotion of heartbreak and stress from my family. Thank you

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Bruce. I wish you the best!

[@HM-pn8iu]

Thank you

[@mrlndbr]

Thank you.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@tanusridutta7768]

Thank you Counselor Carl for these Guidelines and I love your Smile !

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you !