Baby-cut syndrome - Self-injury Awareness Day 2019 | Selfharmerproblems

[@tinarojo7063]

Personally had a psicologist that told me my wounds were the worst she had seen ever. The worst part was that that made me feel kind of better for some reason. Yeah that syndrome is real haha

[@Selfharmerproblems]

These types of situations are exactly why I wish professionals would have more education on self harm. None of them would ever say "you're the thinnest one I have ever seen" to an ED patient because they know they would be fueling their disorder. But I totally understand how that would feel good

[@tinarojo7063]

@@Selfharmerproblems YEAH omfg

[@tinarojo7063]

@@your_delusional_donkey you are so pure

[@tinarojo7063]

@@your_delusional_donkey what the hell hun, I wasn't. You are valuable

[@windows-kx1of]

@@Selfharmerproblems how do I ask my dad to stop bugging me about WhY Did yOU sELf haRM It's been getting on my nerves and stressing me out :/

[@kellyr1403]

The fact that I’ve been self harming for years and barely have anything to show for it upsets me greatly. It makes me want to do it more. I’ve always, ALWAYS been told my cuts were superficial, which really sets me off. I want to be good at something, I want to show other people how much I have suffered mentally by suffering physically. It’s toxic and makes no sense, and I hate myself for it so much.

[@vibrantlygrey]

I relate to this feeling so much

[@luluxthestars]

It's understanding though, most people who self harm want to be able to see their pain physically, so when they can't, they feel like they didn't live through it as hard as others

[@RamblingWhispers]

I relate to this so much your not alone. ❤

[@jadelouise8032]

This is so accurate and relatable

[@leannlezama8864]

I love you we are in this together

[@lealmn580]

Competition in mental health issues is something so taboo but very real. In eating disorders for example, the feeling of competition is a struggle. You want to be sickest. That's awful to say but so many people are experiencing this.

[@smoupnhoize]

I remember walking in to inpatient and thinking "I'm the fattest one here. I don't belong."

[@windows-kx1of]

@@smoupnhoize I've thought that but I don't starve myself or anything I just think about it :/

[@some__kid]

My therapist calls my cuts "scratches" which only makes my baby-cut syndrome worse. It makes me feel like my cuts (that are not scratches) aren't good enough to be labeled as cuts

[@Oops2007]

Same as my CAMHS worker, honestly makes me feel terrible

[@28stabwounds92]

@@Oops2007 in my experience camhs has never helped me and honestly only made my self harm worse. my camhs worker told me that she couldn’t treat me anymore because my case wasn’t as severe as some of the other people she was seeing

[@Oops2007]

@@28stabwounds92 shit-

[@spiderman_fan101]

@@Oops2007 camhs is trash ngl haha I waited a year just to get referred to a different place, and now I’m waiting at least 14months for them to assess me for anti depressants

[@LoLoNemi]

I think they callin em scratches to not be as harsh with their words or some

[@fionascheibel977]

I get this. When my dr writes "superficial cuts" in my file the voice in my head says that i cant even cut well enough to get me to have stitches and so im useless.

[@smoupnhoize]

I had one go "Oh, it's just superficial." Then kind of realized what she just said and tried to backtrack with "but it's all serious" or something like that.

[@ZebrasAreAwesome011]

One of my therapists referred to my cuts as "scratches." I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

[@some__kid]

@@ZebrasAreAwesome011 same! Whenever I cut myself my therapist always says "scratching" which it isn't. It's not like I'm just lightly scratching my skin with my nails and it bugs me so much when she says it

[@slimphantom-l99]

Practice safe self harm. Superficial cuts are okay! Any deeper and it could lead to death. Remember we are self harming, no commiting suicide! Find what works for you. Small cuts, big cuts, whatever! I dont know. It is a journey in itself. I started off with small cuts but as the years went on, its turned into a fkn battle ground! Do what works for you and dont let any psych tell you that your pain isnt valid from the size of your wound!

[@Layer03cyberia]

I feel the same thing when mine don’t produce enough blood :(

[@notatroll9676]

This is how mental illness can deceive sufferers into thinking they aren’t sick enough to need help. It’s the same with eating disorders, mood disorders, anxiety disorders, trauma, etc. It’s the idea that “oh it can’t be that bad because I’m not as bad as so and so”. It’s a form of psychological self harm because it pulls you into a cycle of shame and makes you try to hide your pain even more. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter how deep your wounds are. If you’re hurting yourself because of immense mental turmoil, you need and deserve help. End of discussion.

[@yourmommy9901]

OH MY GOD YES. i literally thought i was the only one. and then those thoughts lead to me thinking like "well i dont ACTUALLY have a problem, i'm just faking it. if something was actually wrong with me i would be in worse shape" please say im not the only one who has thought that

[@jaysoncaethlis6215]

Never knew someone could put the way I think into words so well

[@moonystoes]

i always feel like it’s not actually sh so i get mad and just do a million more little cuts in the moment. i just did so many a few minutes ago and now it burns like hell. i just feel like i’m actually sh

[@sincarnation6111]

To be honest I don’t really want help. I deserve this

[@animemyworld6101]

...Why did you have to expose me like this? 😐😕

[@nyct0phile]

2:00 personally, my theory about why baby cut syndrome is so hard is because i feel like my scars does not come even remotely close to the pain i have. i have sh-ed close to a thousand times and yet no one would ever know -- every single one of them have been as big as paper cuts and it is so frustrating because i was in genuine pain every. single. time. i have incredibly invisible scars. im very pale and so is scar tissue, so you really have to be looking for it to notice. they hardly shine in the light but there are so many, my entire arm is littered in scar tissue. but its all invisible. i feel like im invalidating myself by not having scars that prove how just much ive survived, that show how many nights ive kept myself alive, how many days ive fought when i had nothing left. after everything ive been through people look at me and probably think i havent been through anything. so i guess i see scars as trophies, as proof that i was here and alive and i made it. it makes me feel insane that you cant see any of that because even though i remember so vividly all the times ive ever hurt myself, my arm and leg do not shoe that whatsoever. and i start to wonder if it even happened at all, if what i was feeling was ever real. i dont know thats just my theory

[@connie_83]

I felt like I wasn't valid if I didn't make a cut that was deep enough or didn't make a cut that would scar well. Not because I wanted everyone to look at my scars, but because I felt like I wasn't a real self-harmer. I never did cut deep though because I felt like I was too much of a coward and a scaredy-cat to cut deeper...

[@katelynspencer8392]

It’s always risky cutting . Trust me . You don’t want to go deep , I was detained after the bleeding stoped.

[@memorysstories1561]

I am always so angry when i see people on the internet having HUGE scars while mine are small. And in the summer i am angry because i was cutting so deep, everyone could see the scar.

[@memorysstories1561]

@@blitzandchitzgaming2584 basically i get small wounds and can't wear a shirt in the summer bc of that and then i get angry at myself for self harming on my arms that (for some reason) i sh on my arms even more I don't understand myself-

[@blitzandchitzgaming2584]

@@memorysstories1561 I've been trying to go deeper ever since I started and have not been able to. So it's anger that's the key to going deeper?

[@Atrixjones]

@@blitzandchitzgaming2584 that is not the right thinking this is just gonna keep you continuing to self harm please keep this a safe place

[@insecuresimpinc.4475]

I feel like my reason for self harming isn't even valid I see people hurting themselves out of sadness and while I feel sad, it feels more like impulses and a strong desire to see myself bleed

[@popo-os9qr]

Dude... same

[@urmomincrocs3919]

Exactly this! It makes me feel even worse

[@applep1e375]

I'm the same and i can assure you, your self harm and reasons for it are so so valid. Just because it's not the same as others doesn't mean a thing, you're sh is valid no matter what it is

[@LoLoNemi]

Honestly i ain’t even sad no more I just think shits fucking fun lol

[@FUCKING_QuantumPhysics]

@@LoLoNemi that’s so real. even though it’s disgusting to think that way

[@avawinterton7758]

i feel the same way. i also feel the same about the bleeding. i feel like if i don’t bleed enough/at all then it makes me feel like i don’t do it well enough and makes me have a panic attack sometimes. i also hate when they don’t scar because idk why i just like the scars and the way they look. when they don’t scar it makes me feel like i didn’t do it well enough.

[@gogy_dreamridertheyhe3405]

TWTW TW i showed a friend my se/f-h@rm scars , and he told me “oh {our other friends name} showed me she self-harmed too , but she had way more , like it was ALL over her arm , and it was SO much deeper.” i felt some type of jealousy.. i tried to push it away because being jealous of that made me feel like i was looking for attention , when i was not and still am not . i’m so glad i found this video , it made me feel valid for having that jealousy, and is making it easier for me to stay clean because i don’t feel guilty , or like i need to c//t more , or deeper . 7 days clean! 🖤✨🖤

[@Ingridlosneslokken]

It's so good to hear someone talk about this! I compare my scars to everyone else's.. and it's never deep enough.. Everyday I think "it has to be this bad, then I can stop"

[@atlaswren-smith2570]

I know this video is like a year old but I wanna share my hypothesis: Just like the worrying thought of being a possible attention seeker when your really not or not intending to be, "baby cut syndrome" is something developed after seeing other's cuts or scars. In-validating yourself. (Sort of the reverse of not feeling good enough) most will know that it will be more dangerous and want it as some sort of unhealthy trophy to be a possible message to others suggesting that they acctually do need help and wont be enamored just becuse of there supposively minor wounds.

[@lukastewart7540]

I'm excited to finally see a Baby-Cut Syndrome video. It needs to be known! I'll never forget the day you made the original post on instagram, nothing has related to me more. I hope one day Baby-Cut Syndrome is recognised in mental health and addiction and treated/supported. Thank you Malika. ❤

[@sofacushion8153]

Best way I can explain it: So, say you do a test in class and you get a C. You notice some people got lower grades and it makes you feel a little better about it. But then there’s lots of other people who got A’s and did so much better. It’s a similar feeling.

[@makaylahargrave4768]

When I self-harmed at school one time, the principal looked at my scars. He said that they weren’t THAT deep, and ever since then I’ve felt the need to cut myself deeper.

[@digital_blink626]

I’ve convinced myself that I’m only doing this for attention- which is stupid, because I always cover my scars- but I can’t get past the fact that I’ve never drawn blood.

[@sungod1141]

I certainly have baby cut syndrome I use to compare my cuts when I was rlly into it. But now I also compare my past injury’s to my present ones, I had been clean for two months until a few days ago I wasn’t that deep at all, and i didn’t feel satisfied at all, I want to go deeper but I was at school in a bathroom stall so I didn’t. The lesson after that I was just thinking about hurting myself deeper and about how I’m not even a selfharmer anymore

[@rinrxl]

I think people experience baby-cut syndrome because they want to feel that their problems/pain are valid

[@etherfir]

i agree

[@mysoundofficial1047]

Yes

[@mgg7619]

I have a friend who I tell about my self harm. he does not cut so he doesn’t really understand it all but I still let things out to him. i’ve been trying to recover but relapsed 2 days ago. I told him and he said “don’t stress about it. in 20 years you’ll look back and laugh at how stupid and young you were.” he meant well, but it was very triggering to me. in the past I had shown him my cuts for accountability and he said “you have nothing to worry about. they aren’t deep and should heal without scarring in a week or two.” again, he meant well because he doesn’t understand my mindset but it was triggering and I made sure to cut deeper the next time. I related to this video SO MUCH.

[@mysoundofficial1047]

IKRRRR im so sorry and i feel the same, i feel like im not doing it right

[@straighthomo6702]

You can only see mine when you look very close...and they’re on my thighs so that makes them even harder to see and that makes me feel so bad. A lot of people do it on their wrist but i don’t. This also makes me feel very invalid.

[@tiffanygeary8632]

Same with me. I never ever wear shorts always pants so I cut my thighs. Their not deep and I feel invalid. But we are still struggling we are valid. Stay safe. You are beautiful.

[@straighthomo6702]

Tiffany Geary this means a lot to me i sometimes just need to hear that I’m not alone and I’m understood you are awesome never stop fighting!❤️

[@tiffanygeary8632]

@@straighthomo6702you're welcome, and thank you 💗

[@Rebelwithacause94]

Oh snap I thought I was the only one! I tried to kill myself by cutting really deep and could never and I was never taken seriously about those “attempts”.

[@sharavila616]

I just read all of the comments and I think most of us get triggered by watching the scars of others... I used to think that I was a "strong minded" person and that I would never do something like cutting myself but when I had a depressive episode I could see all of the dark figures lurking around the corners of my mind (hidden traumas of emotional abuse from people) and it was overwhelming... I had a friend that had BPD and I saw her thigh scars one day and that triggered me to do it. I started with small scratches with a pair of twisters and then into blades... After cutting my wrist a few times (scratches) my mom noticed it and I decided to stop doing it (she laughed at me) and my thigh suffered the consequences of it. I now have almost no scars and that makes me feel happy and sad at the same time. I just wish those first cuts didn't ever happened but here we are... I hope that I can feel better soon. I don't really like to hurt myself because of my poor mental stability but well... That's life

[@chloed.7047]

I think it also comes from a place of not feeling valid or not feeling bad enough to deserve help. “If I’m self-harming at all, then I might as well do it bad enough that people can tell I’m really hurting. If I don’t cut bad enough then they’ll think I’m just being dramatic and don’t deserve help as much as other people.” And then when you see people with less bad scars or cuts, it makes you feel like you’re valid and deserve help because you’re “worse” than someone. Of course, it doesn’t even need to be said that this is TOTALLY UNTRUE!! You’re valid and you deserve help whether you’re self-harming only minorly or really seriously. Happy, healthy people don’t hurt themselves intentionally, and anyone who isn’t happy and healthy deserves help.

[@reknownx]

Tysm for this i’m losing my mind atleast another 1000timess

[@heidibaltom8138]

All of my cuts have never needed stitches. They leave scars but are not bad enough to require treatment. Its not that it anoys me its just that doctors dont see it as a problem. Ive shown them and they say "its not that bad".

[@Em-hy8jw]

I don't think I've felt safer than I do here. Thank you for being open with things that people go through but don't always want to talk about.

[@uwu-iw7lo]

Hey so thank you so much for saying this, I thought only I felt this way.. I only have a couple noticeable scars and that can trigger me a lot, I felt bad for not making big enough scars and then felt bad for wanting them bigger.. I’ve been clean for about a month but I get scared that my really tiny scars might go away, but I’m getting a lot better I think !! ! This really helps!!

[@mika_skull8018]

I met one of my ex friends at a pool at camp and she had massive dark scars on her thighs and I always made sure mine weren’t noticeable and I had years worth of “not noticeable” little white scars (I started cutting myself when I was 8 because of trauma stuff) but when I saw hers (my first time seeing someone with scars like that) I was transfixed on them and I wanted them and that was the turning point for me at that point I was 12 and I went and got the dullest oldest razor I had and just went to town but once they started to heal and I realized I heal in a way that will never let me get the results she had it kept getting worse...

[@Scenicetheythem]

There's such a lack of informative s-h videos/articles/etc- and so much misinformation- you don't know how much I appreciate this.

[@Amanaman-md9yd]

I've been clean for 4 years and I never knew this was a thing. I had no idea I wasn't the only one who have felt or who still feels this way. Still to this day I barely have scars and part of me is super relieved and part of me is ashamed which I've never admitted before really. There are times I try to find my scars because they are very small which is weird but now it makes sense. Thanks for this, I feel less alone in this problem.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

I'm 7 years clean and they're almost all gone. Lately I've been in a bad rut and I think feeling strongly about this right now is actually coming from a desire to relapse. I guess the urge will never go away. I am glad to know that this is a common experience. It might help me let go of these thoughts again.

[@nataliyawilliamson6166]

I love that your eyeliner is always on point! :) Also.. I just want to say that this video is the best thing I have seen all year.. I always thought that I was alone in all of this and it helps that I am not.. I have just found your channel recently and I knew that your were going to be a good person to watch because you are speaking from experience.. Thank you for making videos that people can learn from :) ♥️ and btw congrats on being 5 years clean (I think that's what you said) Stay strong !

[@sharavila616]

Fuck, this is so real... I had a period of 6 months in which I self harmed every two weeks or so... I would never cut deep, just enough that it would bleed for a few seconds (the blood kind of freaked me out everytime that I saw it) but not deep enough that would make a huge division on my skin. The only time that I did cut deep enough that I could see pink and white tissue, was a very tiny 1 cm long cut that bleed for a few minutes... I could never found myself doing it more deeply and the voices in my head told me that I was a coward and I compared myself to others and laughed that I was OK... I always thought that I wasn't an addict and that I could stop whenever I wanted to but the reality is that it took me some months to stop the desire to do it. Today I had a very hard emotional breakdown and I cut a few mm of my skin with a blade... It was rough seen myself going back to this after 2 years....

[@blitzandchitzgaming2584]

Have you stopped sh or are you still doing it? Just curious.

[@nbssystem4854]

I have deep scars and I'm actually a public person. (Not every Entertainer uses official accounts) On stages I put on alot of makeup and even got tattoos to cover it up....but I want to cut again after somehow being clean for 6 months.... I rn do babycuts on my chest ..... To get it to you I'm an 26 year old male

[@gwenny9872]

the amount of relatability i feel here is so comforting!

[@haruspexmusic9340]

I have horrible baby cut syndrome that has recently gone to a fever pitch. I know this girl and she is in my Latin class. We recently came back to school and I noticed that she had deep horizontals on her forearm that she was absolutely fine with showing. She had so many and they were either deep or her skin discolors when she scars but it made me feel horrible about my little hypertrophic skin-colored thigh scars. I have relapsed due to her scars and the challenge that I feel when I see them :(

[@kaded_cat]

I suffer from this too and I’m glad I’m not alone. I used to use a compass for my self-harm because I gave my pair of scissors away to a teacher to keep myself safe (it didn’t work) and I kept telling myself “This isn’t the way that people cut, you’re not doing it properly” and “you’re not digging deep enough” and “it doesn’t hurt enough”. Also, whenever I see like short films about self harm or images of self harm I keep thinking “their scars look so big” and “they’ve got scars all the way at the bottom of their wrist”. I’m scared of having scars all the way at the bottom of my wrist in case my parents notice and to be honest, I don’t have that many scars but I’ve recently started on my other arm... with a knife... it’s only a small one but it makes me satisfied enough. Except I’m not. I just get washed over with guilt yet still don’t think I’m digging deep enough either...

[@bubby9307]

This is a topic that I thought I was the only one to deal with. Thank you for this, I do not feel alone anymore

[@elliot2803]

I remember when I first started cutting, I showed my friend who I used to trust a lot, I wanted help and thought would support me. All she said was"Eh, I've seen a lot worse."

[@butter.fly.butterfly]

i can’t believe other people feel like this. i thought i was the only one. thank you so much for making this.

[@krissyfandubs2]

*Trigger Warning* ⚠️⚠️ I’m so glad someone brought this up. And here I felt so alone with this. My first cut was bad in comparison to the ones that followed years later. I relapsed and would cut a bunch but very thin lines. I would recover for a point in time then relapse again. It wasn’t until 2014 that my first deep cut took place. In comparison to my more recent ones, it was small. Again recover then relapse with mostly shallow cuts all over but occasional deeper cuts, which I always at the time, felt it was good enough to end with. In 2017 after a very traumatic event I began cutting regularly, daily even. It’s when it became more of an issue for me. I had my first serious cut during that time and since then, I refuse to stop until its deeper than before. Not caring if I hit an artery and even cutting down my arm . I don’t know why I care about the deepness of it, or when it became necessary to make a deeper cut for me to stop. It’s like anything less and I’m not a ‘worthy or real’ self harm struggling person.

[@Selfharmerproblems]

Thanks for putting a trigger warning! I really feel you. Are you currently receiving professional help?

[@krissyfandubs2]

Selfharmerproblems I try my best to keep others in mind when I talk about my struggles to avoid triggering anyone. 🖤 I was, I’m having to apply for insurance again, so I can get the help I need. I’ve been unmedicated, which has made things much tougher. I haven’t relapsed in a bit, so I’m doing my best to get through this time without harming myself. I hope you’re well. 🖤

[@momo-oy2tk]

I am so glad to have found this video because I didn't know other people had the same thoughts & feelings I do. I have self harmed for many years & not all of them left scars which made me feel very invalidated & unsatisfied. As you said in the video, I am never pleased w the cuts & I always think I could've done worse. & even tho I know seeing scars triggers me, I can't help but keep looking to compare my own. I have relapsed many times because of this. I always felt guilty & horrible that I would get pleasure in knowing my cuts were worse than other peoples because that is so wrong to be thinking !! It made me really depressed to be comparing my scars to others because as you said, self harm is self harm !! I just constantly feel that if I told a therapist or a doctor, I wouldn't be taken seriously because 'my cuts aren't as bad as they could be'. I feel really sick thinking this way but I'm glad this video has introduced me to the "baby-cut syndrome". I really hope your term gets used in the medical field because it does capture the feelings very well

[@fi_nax7964]

My thoughts everytime.....

[@ch3r.ryinluv]

Same

[@titatovenoor7415]

I think the reason we tend to compare our self harm to others and feel the need to have the "worst" self harm, comes from the essence of self harm: wanting to harm your body. For me personally I want to hurt myself because I don't like myself, and I often feel like I deserve the pain and my body deserves to be hurt. Seeing other people, people I dont hate and care deeply about, with worse scars or cuts makes me feel like I'm not hard enough on myself. I feel like I deserve worse pain and harm than them because I'm worth less than they are. That's my hypothesis of where baby cut syndrom comes from. That might not be true to everybody though.

[@kyosthetrash9055]

thank you im so suprised people feel the same way i saw someone who had cuts all to her knees and from wrist to elbow irl while mine only are on my tighs and my wrist and i felt inferior

[@rvdsart614]

I still remember I kinda had that feeling, but then my friend (she knew about it) saw my scars and cuts and she was like wow I didn’t expect it to be that bad/much. But for me it’s kinda getting normal because I see it everyday.

[@windows-kx1of]

When I self harm I would suddenly feel weak and cannot move for a few seconds then I feel fear

[@jaxj968]

I used to not cut deep enough but now I've found something else that will draw blood, and while a part of me that is so messed up, that I'm willing to find anything to make it into a tool to hurt myself, another part of me is highly I can finally make myself bleed.

[@bottlecap6334]

I’ve compared my scars with others, and felt even worse, but those feeling are BULLSHIT, we all struggle in our different ways.

[@marciaglass2846]

thank you... yes yes yes. this video that you made.. girl, you NAILED it!

[@marciaglass2846]

hopefully more hidden because it might be triggery... I had a doctor tell me about her friend's selfharm.. and I felt soo inadequate that I found a less ..uh.. bloody way to selfharm when she left.. and I was in the hospital for a heart issue.. I was and AM so mad at that doctor. ...then on the flipside my casemanager is like 'oh..your skin is healing' and I just want to run to the bathroom and "fix" that... it drives me nuts. I know I need to talk about it and celebrate i'm not cutting as much but uh..at the same time I want to do it more whenever the topic comes up because I don't want my scars to heal, I want more.

[@Lofy.]

I feel like it come from the feeling of "people will think that I'm faking and just self harm for attention" or "my problems are not real/not important if I don't self harm enough because I'm not really in pain" and people with bigger wounds/scars will think that too and judge. And for the opposite feeling I think it's just because you finally don't feel like a baby and feel like you have real/big self harm problems and your situation matters more.

[@melodystarr4208]

Definitely comparing your cuts/scars to others makes it worse, for me it's especially browsing sh Twitter since so many people there do such deep cuts.

[@john7007]

I can say this is also very much a thing in the ana community. It’s so competitive to be the thinnest or the sickest. It’s so upsetting.

[@maryammohmand8172]

I've felt this way for so long, and stumbling upon this video is honestly a relief. Thank you so much for talking about this

[@kiak4073]

Personally I sometimes cut myself to prove to that I do need help. Not neccesarily prove to others, but to myself. I often think "what if I am exaggerating and are wasting the psychologist's time". But when I see a wound on my arm I think, "well my mental health is probably pretty bad if I did this". Sometimes it can also feel like one of the few things you're good at, but then when you realize that you didn't cut that deep, it's like "I even suck at being destructive, is there anything I'm good at?"

[@yourworstnightmare1319]

I used to self harm and I felt so ashamed for that. I was too scared to talk about it because that inner voice kept telling me it wasnt that bad, since my scars were so much smaller than others' . I thought that I was being selfish and just seeking attention because I kind of wanted people to see, but also I didnt want them to. I feel so relieved now to see I'm not the only one, that it wasn't just me being pointlessly crazy and selfish, but it was just the addiction's voice fault. Thank you so much for making this video and for helping people understand whats going on.

[@catherinerichter8317]

omg I feel this!!!! Thankyou so much for making this video even tho I'm seeing this 4 years late ahaha. I thought I was like the only one who felt that way and finally I feel so understood I love your videos so much. 5 days clean ( but dw I'm usually clean and even once went over a year)

[@huaiupp]

i feel this exactly. finally. also, i really love how honestly you talk about it and i really appreciate it❤️

[@shyshyshysana9766]

I feel like this, I’m crying because I though I was so messed up (the body cut syndrome)

[@amandajacobs57]

Thank you so much for making this video. I have always felt that I don't deserve help because no one can really see my scars. I was so terrified of any one finding out that if I cut my arms I would make tiny ones that could be mistaken for a bad cat scratch or something that I could easily make up a lie. So I would often cut my thighs but now that I have gained weight the scars blend in with my stretch marks. I've felt so much shame like I can't even actually say I self harm or that I don't deserve help. It's really triggering when I see people with lots of scars because I feel the need to go home and harm myself more. I'm so happy that I'm not alone. Especially because all of these thoughts make me feel crazy.

[@zi5384]

I know this video was uploaded a year ago but I just want to say this has really helped me a lot! I recently found your channel and it’s helping me to maybe start talking about SH

[@kathrynbelle7990]

I’m so glad I found this video. I don’t feel so alone now. Thank you. I thought I was crazy.

[@anime_simpqueen1659]

I cannot believe that there are others who understand me and that there is an actual term for what I've been feeling this whole time! I thought I was crazy and selfish and narcissistic for wanting to have a bigger scar than others. I'm glad I've finally found Mt community

[@dylandavis7491]

I told my 2 friends today. I have baby-cut syndrome. At least I think. I didn’t realize I was cutting so deep until I saw scars. I’m caught in a circle where I criticize what I do and hate myself for being that way. I’m scared of dying so I cut. Im not one of those comments trying to get help. The only reason I told my friends was because they saw the cuts. I feel stupid because I know my friend will tell. In a way I think I want her to help me. But at the same time I feel scared of people judging me. I honestly don’t want people to know because they will ask. I keep doing it and don’t know how to stop. One of my friends took it very seriously and wanted to help. The other told me she almost killed her self when she was in 3rd - 4th grade. She showed me her arm and I saw nothing. She used my self harm to get attention. I don’t want to be some bitch though so I stay quiet. I don’t understand why it makes me feel better. But it does.

[@sydneyconcpiracy2577]

My dad found my scars, and they were very faded and said "they were just scratches" and "I shouldn't tell my therapist"

[@jazmynrichardson9080]

I’m exactly the same!!! I finally found a way to explain it too my partner by showing him this video!!! Thank you 🖤

[@lillianrae4334]

i relate to this so much and i didn’t even realize it was a thing

[@OnlyHeartbreaker]

I feel such strong emotions, but I'm too scared to cut deeper. I get squeamish and feel sick when I go too far. It makes me feel like a failure, even more helpless and I feel like a coward. Like I'm not good at anything- not even hurting myself :(

[@Layer03cyberia]

I understand that last part way too well

[@vee773]

I cant avoid it, my mum struggled with sh and has lots of scars so im always comparing nyself to her.

[@saavikofvulcan6887]

I actually thought I was the only one!!!!! I try to leave scars but could never put into words why! Thank you for this!!

[@Rebelwithacause94]

This video is super helpful I’ve felt the exact same way for so long thank you so much 😍

[@Hi...ItsLizzMitchell]

Is it weird to look at other people's bodies that doesn't self harm and wonder how they don't self harm and then that makes you feel like you have to self harm more? Or is it just me

[@AmberWoodMusicx]

Not weird at all

[@ros_a_lindxo612]

Me and my sister both self harm (I still do she doesn’t) she openly shows hers but bc my parents still don’t know I obviously don’t show hers a a bit bigger and worse than mine and it’s horrible bc I feel like if and when my parents do find out they will think my mental health isn’t as bad bc my cuts are smaller

[@kawaii_kxller5343]

I saw this one person on Instagram with very large scars. I think that's why, literally 10 minutes after sh I'm watching this, I have longer and deeper ones. I really feel like I'm not valid enough and literally nobody knows about my sh. I want to get help and j want my parents to notice but they never do so I need to do it more often and maybe I would get more help than I do. I had a therapist but every time she asks if I cut I said no because I feel like she would put me in a psych ward like my brother was. (We had the same therapist)

[@pobby600]

I feel guilty about self harming because I'm not diagnosed with any mental illnesses, does anyone else feel the same or is it just me

[@Ellielulu_Ellielu]

Not just you; I doubt I have an actual illness, yet I SH often... I even have suicidal thoughts at times, which is weird, since I don't have a disorder (like I've already said) It's very confusing at times... Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm faking everything, or it's "not that bad", or that I won't be taken seriously. It sucks so much; I'd imagine you probably have similar thoughts from time to time (given the nature of SH to begin with (also, if you don't deal with those thoughts, it's a good thing, please try to not mistake what I'm saying ;; )) Either way, you're not the only one (we're probably not even close to being the only people), and I hope you've been doing well lately

[@pobby600]

@@Ellielulu_Ellielu woahh I feel exactly the same lmaooo I feel so guilty for feeling sad all the time cause I feel like I'm not actually depressed and that I just suck at dealing with life, it's nice to know I'm not the one one haha

[@il0v3kn1v3s]

My scars casually fading away into nothingness: Me: *nO*

[@corinnebremer6522]

I know this video is old, but I wanted to share my thoughts. I definitely do this, I don't cut very deep, but it is still enough to make scars. And enough to have to try to cover them up. To anyone with the same issue, if you are struggling with hiding the smaller ones or the scars, I recommend putting concealer over them. This is what I do every day since mine are on my wrists and more noticeable. I know its hard when you have the baby cuts because you feel like you're somehow stuck in the middle. You're not self harming, but you're also not, not, self harming (that makes so sense, apologies). It may feel like yours don't count or they are not as much of a big deal. But you are not alone. A lot of people are there with you. Just remember, if all people are considered people no matter what they look like, all cuts are considered cuts, and no matter what they look like. Whether this means telling someone or getting help, your cuts count. You are valid. Good luck to everyone

[@tomurashigaraki5643]

me, who has recently started self harming, coming across things like this: *well, this explains a lot and I need to fucking stop-*

[@ch3r.ryinluv]

Sometimes i feel like if i dont cut deep enough none will care about me or if my scars arent bigger or darker than others

[@oliviawalbom-dicay9157]

i hate when the doctor says ''it's not that bad, I've seen way worse. this is nothing''. I don't know why but it makes my self esteem way worse, and i keep thinking ''you can't even SH good enough''

[@chloeott8719]

This video was really helpful for me to understand more about my self harm recovery

[@yuna6705]

This feels kinda relatable since I have only scratched myself for selfharm because I was scared that people could see any scars and felt invalid for it since it's nothing that stays and that it's not bad enough to be counted as selfharm....

[@allothere]

I love that you felt the need to clarify an axe wound would probably be more permanent 😂

[@Selfharmerproblems]

😂 welcome in my head

[@lemonqueen1303]

I’ve been self harming since I was 4 and now it’s so hard to hide. My finger has been pink open bloody flesh fir years

[@rugdealer1729]

I have been clean for a while but I still find myself thinking I was never bad enough so I need to do it again so I will be worse and feel better about being worse because I'm just not bad enough

[@Aphalex]

OMG I used to think like that...

[@sissam1722]

This is exactly what I feel and think a lot of the time. Thank you so much for speaking about it bc I never was able to put it in words and this helped a lot!

[@bakemonomori3692]

For me.. it has been the sense that I was not doing enough and that I was not brave enough, or keep going with those stupid sentences like "Oh, they have bigger scars, so they are really in pain, not like me, maybe I just want attentions and I am not even self harming at all"... stupid stupid stuff like that.. so each time was fking worse..

[@sarahcummins6080]

I used to tell people that it wasn’t actually self harm because I only cut one or two cuts at a time until they healed. Until yesterday :\

[@killerqueen136]

i relate to this a lot. i struggle with self harm but i don't cut, i just scratch violently but not enought to make me bleed. and because of this i always feel like my self harm problem isn't as serious as other people's, and therefore i convince myself i'm just doing it for attention- it's horrible :/

[@treepteepandey1571]

I have been clean for months now . Not because I want to get better or anything but because I'm afraid of getting caught .my scars were only increasing and not disappearing like they did in the start. I was afraid of my parents and friends finding out so I had to stop . And now whenever I feel suffocated I simply punch myself . It doesn't leave any scars and the pain is enough for me to let it all out .

[@hereswherethestoryends]

i genuinely thought i was insane for thinking like this

[@jonasoliverabel9881]

Thank you for talking about it

[@neolicious3323]

I luckily only self harmed for a very short time. I'm so glad that I only had a shitty knife that didn't cut deep, so most of the "scars" were temporary. Back then I did definitely feel shit about it.

[@mariap-xs1vt]

Thank you for this video

[@Kogalgirlie]

it never scarred. my arm looks clean, but i know its not

[@cloudywillowshome]

This kind of explains a lot about what I’m feeling, ngl !!TW!! I sometimes(but rarely) bite myself when I’m angry or upset at myself and I have an addiction of nail biting. I’ve always felt like I’m not “hurting myself enough” to be within the sphere of self harm recovery. I’ve been nail biting since I was a little kid and I’ve been struggling a lot. I had no idea this was a thing actually. I feel really seen

[@letsjustjumpoffacliffshallwe]

So like, biting yourself, on your skin, and causing immediate damage to tissue is self harm. Biting your nails isn’t self harm.

[@zoelouisex7576]

I want to cut deeper because i do not feel like i am actually doing enough for it to be classed as self harm.. i want to see scars but yet i don't idk its confusing

[@lemonqueen1303]

I don’t get help for my self harm. My parents know abt it and almost everyone know, they just get mad at me and tell me to stop. :) (PPl say I don’t self harm because I have no scars, but trust me I bleed and idc if it hurts I try to hide it but since it’s on my fingers and my hands it’s hard)

[@_.Mimzie._]

Man this hits deep. 😭

[@_.Mimzie._]

@@ForExample2023 whoa this brings back memories LOL

[@LK-on6rw]

Happy 2 year channel anniversary:) I only started watching you yesterday and didn’t know lol. I was excited when I saw this was posted one year ago today then you mentioned your channel anniversary lol :)