My scars are fading and I hate it... Why? | Selfharmerproblems

[@yuri-vt3ck]

i liked the look of my scars because it made me feel validated, and that “it was bad enough to leave a mark”, i know it’s stupid but when they started to fade, all i wanted to do was bring them back.

[@annastandard1257]

I relate to this. For me it's not just others validating me based on how much pain I have to be in to harm myself. Its also the way I feel looking at my own wounds and scars. The validation that the past is real gives me strength and comfort. I guess we all just need to find more permanent ways to experience whatever emotions that we gain from self harm and looking at scars. I've been thinking about getting a tattoo that reminds me of my strength

[@roxy_m6]

I thought I was the only one

[@MamaMia-rn8cm]

exactly

[@johncalhoun9335]

Same ,I want to go back , I miss the pain im in control of

[@trashylevin5097]

I've been clean for almost 2 years now and I feel like with my scars fading I'm losing the validity of my experience as someone who has self harmed because my past isn't as evident anymore. It sucks but I guess most people deal with that at some point.

[@flameepidemic4839]

I know the feeling i have OSDD 1-b and one of my alters wants the scars to go away I remember my ex forcing me to put scar meds on them and the really old ones are gone but not even 10% is faded i done them deep but there are times where i look down and im like “i havent done it in awhile” and it makes me feel like i dont still struggle? Like im magically better? If that makes sense and ofc yknow idc about quiting i just feel bad for worrying my boyfriend but ive been doing better thanks to him and basically my brother hes an alter but he basically raised me its a lot to explain over text lol

[@lykkemarieofficial]

I can agree with this so much!

[@Deartail]

same, another reason is that if people randomly see them, they might think they were just small scars that were inflicted because I wanted attention which scares me sometimes, but im also kind of glad theyre fading because I like wearing skirts and shorts and when theyre faded, people cant really see them and so they wont know the scars are there

[@UNKNOWN-le2tu]

what? you want the scars? i dont put anything on mine, they fade as is. a couple might not fade. if they do then good for them. if they dont then good for them. i dont look at my arm really, i dont show them or bring attention to them

[@corpse_eye.opened]

I exactly the same

[@qwertyuiopasdfghjkl9879]

i was clean for like 3 months and my mother noticed and told me my arms looked so much "better" and to not worry because my scars will fade soon. I know she was trying to be supportive but really that triggered me to hurt myself once again and now i can't stop again. I felt like she was unvalidating my self harm and treating it like its no longer a problem.

[@thegreenhaired]

I think it's because other people can't see the emotions behind self-harm that they think as soon as the 'physical evidence' stops that everything is fine but it's actually just the tip of a giant iceberg that they refer to. Words can hurt so badly even without intention. Maybe you can make the other person understand eventually. But in any case feel loved and accepted and understood.💚

[@isabellivingston4445]

Yeah, I totally agree. Words can hurt so freaking much sometimes. One of the worst triggers I've had actually came from my best friend. I know she didn't mean it how it came out, but it doesn't change the fact that it still really hurts, even though it was months ago. I know people care, but sometimes they care too much and end up saying something that is really hurtful, and sometimes triggering. I don't think I'll ever forget what my best friend said, I know she meant well, but even though it was just a text, I had just poured my heart out to her, and she said 'I thought you cut yourself way more' it's so hard when it's the people we're closest to, that hurt us so much at times. If you're reading this, hang in there, life is really shitty sometimes but we all have our demons, and can help each other out. You're loved more than you know. 💜💙 ( sorry this kinda became kinda a rant, not so much a reply)

[@thegaybestie6785]

I thought I was the only one who felt Sad beacuse my scars where fading thank you for spreading avarnes (don't know how to ducking spell)

[@moss7837]

English sucks don’t worry

[@Bear_the_shepherd]

Awareness. Don't worry about spelling things wrong, we understand you. 💕

[@murseed6454]

this is the only channel that has ever made me feel normal. i didnt know anyone else had these kind of thoughts about self harm. thank you for what you do!

[@skshabalova8750]

I love this channel and Bluelifeline

[@deanna7297]

its so strange that my scars are one of my biggest insecurities yet when they begin to fade i get triggered like hUH?!

[@eternallyei]

FR???

[@adzdrawss]

NO IM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING. LIKE WHYY??

[@Vv1x3n]

@@adzdrawss DANGGG I HAVE LIKE A KELIOD SO IT WONT FADE WHICH MAKES ME QUITE HAPPY :3 ALL THE OTHERS FADED THO

[@cyrusblack4455]

Life is currently thanos snapping my scars

[@billybear1581]

I shouldn't have laughed at this..... 😳💀

[@madisonhernandez661]

same bro

[@xiaoplush]

Wish I could relate

[@rosey.2443]

I can relate with the last point sooo much..! Especially since the healing of the scars can’t be controlled. It really triggers me to see scars fading when these were done in moments of ultimate despair and unbearable emotions. While other scars won’t fade that were done in less emotional moments... like someone else in the comments said: the fading of scars feels like loosing the validity of my experiences.. Also it’s really confusing to see how the scars on the skin fade while the scars on my soul won’t seem to heal...

[@attaeight9187]

This - the scars I made on my hands with my nails when I was upset, furious or ashamed of myself would disappear quickly, but the ones I made when I visited the dentist and tried to think about something else than the feeling of the drill boring into my teeth, lasted for about a year :|

[@greyv9107]

im two months clean and i threw away my blades last night :D my scars are fading fast and while it is hard to deal with i try to make it easier by telling myself i can get a tattoo on them once theyre fully faded, which makes me a lot less upset abt them fading. cause then i get to alter my body in a non harmful way

[@theredrobin9402]

That’s great!! I’m really glad you have found a good way to cope with this strange phenomenon, and I think that’s a great idea I will consider too! I’m happy you’re on the road to having a healthier mindset

[@ladybaabaa3294]

I absolutely LOVE tattoos! (they're addictive!) I find the excitement of having a really cool tattoo so exhilarating, and also the pain / sensation itself ranges from cathartic to blissfully sedating!

[@flameepidemic4839]

Omg the “hurt yourself enough” thing in the beginning of reason one i really feel that I remember my friend encouraging me to and making it a competition and i think i still have that mentality of im not truly depressed unless i selfharm enough so i always do more or go deeper

[@hannahmacdonald8660]

You should watch the video she has about that; she calls it "baby cut syndrome." What both you and your friend are feeling is valid and real. However, having a friend encourage you to do such things and making it a competition is really unhealthy for both of you. Just because the feelings are normal, that doesn't mean they're good. I'm sorry if this is too blunt, but a good friend would never encourage you to self harm, they would encourage you to stop and get help. I hope that you can find help, and then help your friend. I know it may seem like your struggles will never end, but self harm is not the way to go about dealing with things. It's easier said than done, but you need to stop competing with your friend as soon as possible. It's not a competition because you are both struggling and need help, and it doesn't matter who is struggling more. I sincerely wish you luck persevering and finding light in the darkness.

[@realperson879]

Seeing my scars heal almost makes me want to relapse if I haven’t already. When it was really bad(like counting 300 cuts and getting lost in how many there were bad) if I saw them fading it just made it worse

[@afoxcatartvideos4877]

I hate it fading and I hate it because I feel like I'm painful experience is that moment is gone. But inside my heart it's still there

[@shlawgb0b]

as much as I want my scars to go away so my family wont find out, I like seeing the scars. i was clean for a few months but then ended up hurting myself again just bc the scars were gone and I was sad. it's a struggle :/

[@Mel-sk7io]

As someone with BPD, for some time I felt like SH was my identity... I was the girl who self harmed and I was the girl with the scars and as soon as they started fading I didn't know who I was anymore. Another reason for me was the scars weren't pretty and that was a form of punishment. I thought I didn't deserve to heal or for my scars to heal. I didn't deserve a scarless body.

[@thegreenhaired]

I feel like my body heals faster than my mind can. And I will have good days where I feel like I accomplished a lot on my way to get better and can see it in my skin as well. But then there are bad days when I feel like my skin forgets what I've been through but my mind is still so far behind in moving forward. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wake up to a new day with a new perspective about myself and it can be a tough thing or an encouraging one but there is always tomorrow to feel and see something new and as long as I'm prepared for what I might think about myself the next day I'll get along fine. Thank you for talking about this topic btw! I feel like it's quite a tricky thing to explain to others or even oneself sometimes and it's nice to listen to someone who gets it even if it's always different for every individual.❤

[@tanyaparashar3286]

Tbh this is the MOST relatable comment here for me. It's literally like you read my mind 😨

[@preciouss3]

I haven't started watching the video, but I've had my scars for two weeks and they're nearly not visible I HATE THAT🥺

[@creepiestadventure]

same thought i had. its hard to see the "externalized pain" fade while the real one is still there

[@catherinerichter8317]

My gosh I can relate. I love it and hate it at the same time.

[@hazeelise]

some of my scars, in my mind, represent important emotional events in my life that I feel like should be enough to leave a scar, and because of that, the unpredictability aspect of the healing really bothers me. I have certain scars that I feel like are important enough that they should stay visible, and others that I am okay with fading, and it has really upset me when some of my "important" scars are hardly noticeable now, while ones that I don't care as much about are really prominent. and then when people point out my scars (which they should never do, and I hate when they do, but they still do), I hate even more that they're pointing out the ones that don't feel important to me. like, at least when the important ones are noticed, I can make myself feel a bit better by saying that "yeah, that event was a big deal and deserves some recognition," I suppose. I don't know. I've always felt really bad about myself for being upset when my scars fade, so I'm really glad you made this video and showed that more people feel the same way. definitely I think all of the aspects you discussed in the video contribute to why I find it upsetting.

[@anidiotnamedbug8960]

Wow I was thrilled when mine faded. To be fair my self harm never ended up an addiction. It's interesting to see other experiences. Although sometimes I have nostalgia for my self harm but rarely get urges.

[@meow.....]

I just want to comment something but idk what so I'll just say i love you🥺❤️

[@partiallyalive1284]

I had no idea anyone else felt this way. I felt so invalid until I found your channel. No one ever believes that I've had struggles because I seem ok now.

[@drearyaugust1508]

I can relate to reason #1 and #3 even more. First started self harming 16 years ago with 3/4 intense months, it has changed to very irregular single occasions over the years but made a bit of a comeback recently. When looking at my old scars now i found that i don't have nearly enough of them and most have faded quite a lot which really does feel unsatisfying...

[@soggytoe8215]

I didn’t cut very deep so they would fade really fast because I was to scared to cut deeper and it caused me to cut more when the would fade because of baby cut syndrome

[@blackcat4898]

Damn I'm sorry For anyone that has to go through feeling like that. I haven't self harmed in a long time but I do miss them and have had intense feels on doing it again but I don't want to hurt anyone else that I already have . For me when I was feeling like that , I would keep some pictures in my phone of my self Harm to make me feel validated for what I've been through. The urges are very strong But My Boyfriend , Friends and My cats .... I just can't do that to them . To make them feel like I don't care about them .. For anyone that self Harms You Are Valid , Any pain you feel IS Valid . It doesn't matter if you " self harm enough " or that if you feel like " you haven't been through Enough " It's All The Same.. It's Undeniable Pain , and Frustration. You Are Loved and you are Cared about by people even if you don't see it . People Are Here , and We Care . Your Community Is Here ,to give you Some of the support you need. I Hope some of Y'all are feeling a bit better and That You find some nice coping skills . Many Huggs And Kisses ! /(QwQ)/

[@Kissofdeath17]

Thank you so much for raising awareness of this problem. Im dealing with self harm since 17 years and I can say Im clean for some years now but still struggle. All of my scars pretty much faded away, you can see them if you know where they are and if you look closely tho and I often find myself doing exactly that for minutes. I even got asked several times if theres something wrong with my arm because I kept staring at it. I find it hard to explain why and I wish they would be visible again even if I know there were times I wished to not have them in the past. I miss them and Im wondering if there will be a time when its beginning to become normal for me again to not have any sh scars on my body. In my case I lived longer with some of my scars than not having them, maybe thats also a reason. Anyways, Im glad to know Im not alone with this and I hope this will pass too. Thank you!

[@deviltownstudios7227]

i recently gained a self harm addiction and watching you shows me that these small wounds on my body can escalate into so something way worse, ty for sharing your story

[@hannahmacdonald8660]

I appreciate your openness. I know it's easier said than done, but try to stop before it gets worse. She shares some really good things to keep in mind. I don't know how long you've been addicted or how severely, but please try to get help. Some things to keep in mind are that you can validate your feelings, escape your pain, or seek help in other ways that don't leave a scar and aren't as harmful. You may be to the point where you feel that you need to go deeper or leave long lasting scars, but please understand that you never need to do or feel any of those things. Your pain is valid and it isn't healthy to compare yourself to others. You don't know their story, so seeing somebody else's scars or lack thereof doesn't even show a solid comparison. Focus on yourself and ways to get out of that addiction. I know there are apps out there and alternatives (hold and ice cube, take a cold shower, draw on yourself, write your feelings on paper and destroy it somehow, draw where you'd normally hurt yourself with a marker, peel off dried glue where you'd normally hurt yourself, etc.) If you aren't going to therapy already, I suggest you talk to an adult you can trust and ask for help. I know you can persevere and eventually find healing without feeling bad about it.

[@Cha-he9ch]

Pictures guys!!!! 😅😂 I think it can definitely help with those feelings... I had an initial phase of self-harm 5years ago, and it started with small scratches with a needle (un compas). Of course, the marks faded away quickly. I didn't feel as though it was "REAL self-harm" or I had "REAL problems". A few years later, I found an email in which I'd put pictures of my arm, and it really broke my little heart. I didn't remember I had so many. I just wanted to hug my past self and tell them how much I love her Now it's not the same story, I have a few scars I'll keep forever but yeah

[@melodyperson6684]

Actually I'm the opposite Why aren't my scars fading, why won't they go, I don't want the reminder of the day I was at my worst, it will just trigger me. The more I see my scars the more it triggers me, the more I want to hide them..don't want people to know..

[@katiecadigan9529]

Holy crap I'm not the only one. I am both blessed and cursed with very resilient skin

[@senkunno]

Mine always did this so quickly. No one would believe me because I didn’t have the scars and I couldn’t get help because of it. And I also think that my scars are very pretty, not by looks, ofc, by meaning. Because they remind me of how strong I am, and because mine fade really fast, it makes me sad.

[@connie_83]

I hate seeing fading scars on me because I feel like if I don't have those scars, then my experiences with it have been invalidated since I cut really shallow so I don't end up seriously hurting myself to the point where I need to go to the doctor. Plus I feel like if I have them then I can like remind myself not to go back there again. Like looking at those scars tell me "you've hurt yourself enough, you deserve better than that" but when they disappear I want to mark up my arm again.

[@glwxngrainbow]

i feel like if my scars fade i won't be worthy of getting therapy because i won't have a phisicall proof that i'm not doing okay

[@confluzzle2372]

Ig the reason why I hate it when the sc4rs fade is bc looking at the damage I did to myself was my coping so when it fades I just cant-

[@bunnyt.3549]

⚠️ this could be triggering for some talking about scars and cutting⚠️ I'm trying to stay clean and the one main trigger right now is that the one time I on accident cut deeper is scaring more than the others

[@anidiotnamedbug8960]

I'm sorry. If it would help you could put a bandage on it, unless that's more triggering

[@neolicious3323]

My scars were really small and faded soon and I was so happy because seeing them triggered me really hard. I'm sorry that you are struggling with that, I used to think everyone thought like me on this. I hope that this doesn't drive you back into selfharming and I hope your mental health is at least a bit stable. Please stay safe. You are very important to many people and the sh community, you spread so much awareness and information and I absolutely love you for it.

[@noname-qw9td]

It's...weirdly quite nice to know that so many people hate that their scars fade as they see it as it invalidating what you've gone through because you don't have the proof of it Just because we don't have our scars anymore doesn't mean we don't still battle the demons, nor that we're "better because they're gone". I chose to try my best and be clean through 2021 onwards as I'd done it for 11 years and it's still so difficult to face the evenings and find ways to distract yourself. It's also really hard to love yourself. To everyone that's reading this, that's responded to this, and who may find this video. You are enough, and despite that they're fading, we know what we went through. Nobody can take that away from us

[@friedpandaflowers]

thank you, i just found your channel and it finally feels like someone understands exactly what i’m feeling,, thank you so much for putting this content out

[@FrilledMayfly_AmberlyFerrule]

For me my scars are almost like a collection. It may also be connected to the fact i don't really remember much of anything anymore. It's like a sign that time is moving forward as i gain more. It definitely shouldn't be a "goal" but for me it seemingly is. I guess i see it as progress to an extent. I also like seeing myself get worse and maybe it's because it reflects for i feel about myself, though i want more scars also because i can't stop my body from healing so scars are like a "compromise" since i can't look like a bleeding mess all the time. The brain works in mysterious ways and it's hard to try to uncover the how's and why's of certain things

[@BrightWingDarkWing]

The last time I did self harm was like 13 yeas ago. Some of my scars are still visible but of course are slowly fading. For me now after all that time it's a sign that I went to a hard time all by myself and made it. Of course I still struggle sometimes and have a hard time, but I'm at a much better place now. For me my scars are a sign of strength that I made it and I maybe see it as some kind of trophy or proof for that? (At the time I harmed myself nobody knew, cause the wounds I caused were at a part of my body where I could hide them pretty well.) But yeah, for me these scars remind me that I went to a dark time only to stand strong where I am now. So I somehow want to keep them as a reminder. And for all of you who still struggle I hope you can find some strength in these words for yourself. I believe humans are really strong and can go through crazy tough times. You can do it, I sincerely believe in you.

[@soap9836]

i think for me i dont want my scars to fade because i dont want to forget what ive been through, making it pointless. idk if that makes sense but i am a forgetful person in general and even more so when it comes to trauma so hm. the point made about the value of struggles is a part of it too i guess

[@clab5407]

Just based on the title, I am so, so glad I’m not alone in feeling that way.

[@hannahmacdonald8660]

I just want everyone to understand that as far as I can tell, each of us are going through our own struggles and they are all valid. Some people are saying that they feel understood because they don't want their scars to fade; you are heard and your scars fading doesn't depict how you are or were doing mentally. Some people are saying that they've never felt that way and they hope that their scars fade; just because you don't like your scars, doesn't mean the scars and your struggles aren't real. Different people have different triggers. Tattoos aren't for everybody, but they could work for lots of self harmers. If you want to hide your scars you can out a tattoo over them. If you want a reminder of what you've gone through, you can put a tattoo over or around them. Again, this is just a suggestion and there are other ways to hide or embrace your scars. Please understand that you can get through this and you are not alone. Life can seem impossible sometimes, but you've made it this far and I know you can keep going.

[@serenaking1659]

Oh my goodness. I have never felt so understood. Thank you

[@kirap4476]

I love them like i love myself. Sometimes I wish I had them as a reminder. But i felt like this was only me on the inside

[@neutrallynonsensical3477]

Thank you for this 💖

[@billybear1581]

This also explains how self harm can become so addicting. It's a constant cycle and it's almost impossible to get out

[@filipmjankowski]

Hey! Its been a while since you uploaded last video. Would love to see more content from you. In my opinion your channel is one of the best out there that are focusing on mental health!

[@lesbean5602]

Thank god. I thought I was alone. 🥺

[@cjtaylor1977]

Thank you for your videos. It helps to understand that others have similar feelings. I related to your baby cuts video. As an older person myself it's tough to find someone to relate to but the things you say are a great help. Thank you.

[@Selfharmerproblems]

You are so welcome!

[@SurprisedMilkshake-xw5cs]

I still self harm and the longest I have been clean for is 34 days but lately it has been a lot worse and it’s probably going to get worse but the knee thing I have heard from other people and including me”I love the look” and I also agree I like the look of them because it’s just so comforting idk why though just something about it.

[@Kaitlynnynnyn]

Personally, I wish I still had them because it shows people that I've struggled. That I've had tough times in my life that I didn't know how to cope with, that I felt shitty. But I'm still alive. I'm still alive to show them how it affects you and what I went through. I think it also makes me stronger in knowing how far I've gone without relapsing

[@thePipeBandEnthusiast]

I have this feeling. I’m a year clean and they’re barely visible because I never did it ‘really deep’, I feel like the experience isn’t valid now. Also experience baby cut syndrome.

[@mirmi9018]

4:00 I'm currently studying psychology as a school subject and this was quite interesting. Emotions are defined by three things: physical processes, psychological processes and the resulting action. For example: Happiness. Physical processes could be: heart racing, faster breathing, muscle contractions. Psychological processes: Stimuli are perceived more clearly Action: jumping, running, smiling So I would say (in my very humble opinion) that the self harming is the resulting action of another resulting action. Your emotions are already physical and psychological.

[@tomofekshlomai7706]

Really interesting, I just want mine to go away and have tattooed over some of them, I had no idea people got triggered by their scars fading

[@confluzzle2372]

For me it just feels like from all the pain I went through, I came out with nothing yk

[@ch3r.ryinluv]

When my scars started to fade i felt like i had to cut myself even more than i did before and if i didnt people will not believe what i say regarding my self-harming

[@Cicada11011]

It’s weird because I alway hid them and whenever my family forced me to wear short sleeved shirts I always felt self conscious and I hated it. But when they started to fade I just wanted to do it again because I felt like them fading made the shitty feelings I used to have invalid

[@angelp2092]

It's rlly hard for me when my scars are fading because then people can tell me I'm lying, or that I did it recently to get attention. It makes me feel like it was so far away I don't deserve to feel bad still about these things.

[@clarap4546]

Really interesting video. I experience this feeling back in middle school when i stopped self harming. Now that I am recovering from anorexia, i also miss being underweight because, just like when my scars faded, it makes me feel like my experience won’t be validated if there is no physical proof of it

[@alexia-parlonsespagnol9492]

Mine will never go away and I barely notice them even though they are big. The only problem is that sometimes strangers or people I'm not close with comment on them 🙄 I've been clean for a long time, over 7 years I believe. I have a lot of scars and especially stretch marks that are enormous and that I would love to get rif off (too bad it's impossible) However, I would not want to see my scars from self-harming disappear. The reason is that sometimes, the temptation to self harm again is so intense, if I actually didn't have scars on my arms already , I would probably fall back into this old habit.

[@mishakuran]

I'm in a similar situation. How do you deal with people commenting on them?

[@emilyglonek7417]

also, it kind of feels like everything you "worked for" in a sense, is going away, and that it was all for nothing

[@taylor6166]

ugh i keep getting ur videos recommend shortly after i self harm its probably a sign or sumn

[@agony3715]

i didnt realize other people felt like this too !! one of the reasons it was triggering to me was bc it started feeling sort of ,,, not real ? i was clean for all of january (not bc i wanted to or tried, it just happened and i hated it) and suddenly i was afraid that somehow my self harm was never real in the first place, like it was some sort of elaborate trick. not a single soul knew abt it that point, and so i was afraid that if i stopped then, if the scars / wounds faded then, and i never told anyone ? that it would only exist in my memory. and if only existed in my memory, did it even really happen ? it was that whole question of "if a tree falls in a forest with no one around, does it actually make a sound ?" i mean realistically thats bullshit but i couldnt get myself to believe that i fixed the problem by telling some commenter on a sh video abt my sh which made me feel less,,, delusional ? more solidified. i also fixed the problem by (you guessed it !) going back to self harm yea no i dont want to get clean any time soon

[@lasmakrasta7059]

Thank you! Your videos are so helpful :)

[@bethconroy3341]

Off topics but I love your hair!

[@ira__s]

I'm struggling with this a lot at the moment... I can't stop self harming cause each time my scars start to heal and disappear I NEED them back. I get huge anxiety of them fading. Big part is also that I don't scar easily so they literally disappear and it makes me feel like I need to self harm worse so I can actually get scars but I'm not there yet (and also I'm working hard that it doesn't get worse but I get such huge anxiety about it).

[@coldcaseedits3180]

Every time I see my scars fade I have to self harm again because I feel like I failed I can’t even get a scar I always try to cut deeper see my scars fade makes me feel I failed I needed to cut deeper I feel like I’m in control when I self harm

[@snappitty9817]

like i had to get injections to fade away my deepest scars but- i’m sad because if it. i don’t want them gone

[@MidnightLabyrinth12]

My scars weren't quite as visible anyway because the item I used scratched and I did SH in areas that weren't visible unless you were looking for them. I think subconsciously i was jealous of those with visible ones because others could see what they went/were going through

[@caffeineaddict9761]

i used to scratch myself with different objects and every time they would fade i would be mad so i'd do it again (now i cut) and i rn have a cut that's fading and that cut was just from TODAY and i am having a fear that they would fade and i dont want that i want it there so i can see it and see how much pain my friends and school gave me so i feel the ppl who feel triggered when there scars / cuts are starting to fade

[@p0tatod00dd8]

I feel like i do have baby cut syndrome because i only self harmed for a few days before i got caught. That really affected me and my scars faded after a few days. I want to self harm but i dont wanna hurt my self too much. Just enough to make me feel valid as somebody who is struggling :/

[@SophieL-zu7rd]

I relate to this so much

[@michael-k.]

I’m the opposite, I’m very mad/ uncomfortable that they’re not fading enough I just want to forget that I ever did that to myself

[@endymerimo]

i don't think that i can call myself a selfharmer and i'm only starting to explore information about selfharm but i think i can relate to what was talking about in this video. There's the problem - my skin has a very good regeneration and also i'm a coward in hurting myself very badly, like with blades or something like that, i always just take my sharp keys or my sharp metal ruler. And I'm using selfharm as a punishment bc my parents used to hit me in my childhood so i still can't get over doing this to myself when i feel like i did something wrong. So when i see that no matter how hard i harmed myself i can see only a barely noticeable whit lines or just nothing at all, i feel even worse than before, i feel like i'm just an attention whore bc of that (even tho no one know that i'm cutting myself and i mentioned it only a little bit on my twitter where's no one who i know irl are) and that i didn't punish myself enough. Sometimes i'm even scrapping away some crusts of blood on my wounds to get at least a little scars to know that it was real. P.S. my english is probably bad, sorry, it's not my native language

[@crinx_crow7927]

This is probably the main reason I trouble with relapse. I feel that because most of my scars are unnoticeable and light (I have pale skin) and that I am invalid. And that if I try to talk with people abt it, they'll tell me that I'm asking for attention.

[@alyssa734]

I relate to the title way too much

[@povesticreepyromania5683]

Nice new setup! We love you girl,keep making vids

[@summamarshall8381]

Dang thank god it’s not just me that gets sad/triggerd when they start to fade.

[@nikarevanzyl2829]

My scars tellsy story which makes me love them but.... I hate they disappear and it makes me want to cut again. Its like showing me that I am human. I am alive. Its difficult.

[@lemonadepie6249]

I feel this way but I don’t really understand why I feel this way sometimes, my mom made an appointment to get my scars laser removed, and I don’t know why I started crying and she didn’t understand, I know she was just trying to help but it’s strange that we don’t want to get rid of our scars

[@akerahsanders7954]

It's exactly how i feel right now

[@moon_card]

For me, it just feels cruel that I am not better yet, not even close, but my scars should be gone by summer when I tan. It makes me feel like I am do week that my body healed from wounds way faster than I healed from feelings

[@shaylalloyd1646]

I hate that my scars haven’t been visible, it hurts that no matter how bad it hurts it doesn’t matter so it just doesn’t feel like I’m succeeding and it’s just another thing I’m failing at

[@cloudkittii]

I'm not sure why but I used to be angry when I didn't bleed straight away, but now I'm angry that my cuts aren't even.. Idk

[@anidiotnamedbug8960]

You're so strong.

[@miawagner4245]

See I try to stay clean but when my cuts start to go away it scares me so I keep doing it

[@djsjxjxjcdjdjxjxbzjsjd3241]

my mom ask to see my arms and says "there looking better" and i hate that there fading shes trying to get something that helps with scars idk what it is but i dont want it i cant even look at my arms without thinking about doing it again because there fading it makes me upset idk why

[@papa_roach_2364]

I was 6 months clean, but im now two days clean, im dissapointed in myself but not suprised, and i hate that my scars are fading.

[@katieb2098]

A lot of people are relapsing in COVID , don’t beat yourself up

[@papa_roach_2364]

@@katieb2098 thanks, i started pretty much as soon as covid started, in late march (or when i was told) i was doing other forms of it before Covid but i don't feel like i did them to harm, and im three days clean and hope i dont relapse again.

[@katieb2098]

@@papa_roach_2364 it’s okay , you can be six months clean again , just try to get through every hour , every day without doing it , try taking an ice cold shower when the urge is really overwhelming, sometimes you have to shock yourself out of it

[@papa_roach_2364]

@@katieb2098 thank you.

[@k.k.2820]

i feel guilty when they fade any season but summer because during summer everyone can see it

[@chelseybabyyy]

I haven't cut in 10 years and my scars still haven't faded. I'm not happy about it though. I plan on getting them covered with a tattoo.

[@memorysstories1561]

I was once very close to telling someone and i actually cut myself more because i thought they might not think that's serious

[@Fruityflootloops]

I’m a year clean now and it’s rough. My first time though was scratching in seventh grade and those fade so quickly it felt awful tbh. But my ones from Hs are fading and it’s getting weird I don’t like it.

[@walkercentre]

On my second most recent relapse i got a HUUUUUGE scar, idek how it got so enlarged

[@ProblematiqueQueen]

Mine are hella faded too and it kinda annoys me too and I don’t cut that deep and never have only once or twice but the scars are completely faded and gone so that triggers me too

[@lindseyhorsman6293]

I've been clean for 2 years I think my scars are shallow very shallow an most of them have faded if not all I feel like since there mostly not there I can't say that I've been threw it or help someone who could be. I also feel like I never went threw that period of my life when I see other people's scars that area lot deeper an don't fade.....I feel crazy for wanting deep scars n long lasting scars

[@johncalhoun9335]

There always there

[@saintbernards-bulldogs]

I’m 47 and they are still there (15yr old).

[@iihxnnycomb794]

I got to one hundred days clean once.,.

[@cloudkittii]

I don't want to stop but what do I do in the summer? I'll be going swimming, and it'll be to hot for short sleeves.. Any advice? I really don't know what to do

[@natalie6308]

Fluff Clouds if you really don't feel like you cant/don't want to stop, I recommend keeping it light and shallow so it's not as noticeable, also if your female buy bathing suits with like little shorts as bottoms instead of the underwear looking style, don't cut on the inside of the thigh, so that you don't hit an artery, be as safe as you can, and I hope that helps

[@cloudkittii]

@@natalie6308 thank u this is really helpful/g

[@natalie6308]

Fluff Clouds no problem:)

[@necrosadotor]

just get help for stopping, that's the single worst way to get help asking such advice

[@cloudkittii]

@@necrosadotor I’m not in a position to stop but I’ll try :) thanks

[@geckowithamustache3146]

I cut for the scars

[@delinka4695]

I wish mine disappeared...