[TW] My friend is self harming

[@hannahwylie9200]

Today I am 300 days clean. Couldn't be a better time for this video

[@aranara_song]

Aw :) Thankfully you'll keep at that

[@hannahwylie9200]

+Cute Cupcake aw thank you :)

[@KayaUnicornTaylor]

Yay go you :)

[@aranara_song]

Hannah :)

[@keepyourheartbeating9337]

congrats! :) stay strong xx

[@alztube6970]

2 and a half years clean. Sometimes I still feel like I could relapse but I try not to

[@kuromi8384]

Stay strong

[@emmagray125]

me too +Alz Tube c:

[@emmagray125]

+Theweirdhub I'm sorry, its tough, it really is. I've been down that road, but theres tons of helplines and books and ways to help yourself. Please take care of yourself lots of people care :v

[@emmagray125]

***** I know its the quick way to relief but there are other ways to cope. When I just started getting clean, it was removing anything that was sharp (scissors, razors, I didn't even shave). I also put cold lotion where my cuts were and just let it sit there, it felt really good for some reason? Journaling helped me too and finding at least one person to confide to isn't a bad idea. Just make sure they're someone you can actually trust, or even went through something similar. When I was recovering, I even told some of my more negative friends that I needed space and didn't talk to them until I was like 6 months clean? That also helped me for some reason. However, don't do that if they're friends that make you feel good about yourself. And yeah if you want to talk, there are tons of helplines, support groups, and even online chats for people going through and struggling with similar issues!

[@colleenthecat_]

THATS SO GREAT AND AMAZING AND I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!

[@rrabbix]

Even if you're 1 day clean, or 1 month clean...or even 2 years clean You're doing amazing. I believe in you all, you can do it!

[@kobitoackerman5400]

Thank you for the nice words

[@hmm0009]

Rrabbix I’m about a year clean 🙃

[@nature_fiend777]

0 days clean

[@vxmp1r3mon3y]

Like 1/2 clean •_•

[@resoluti0nss]

Rrabbix I wish you were right.

[@bugcatcher30000]

I'm only 3 days clean but i'm proud of myself for making an effort:)

[@ilovebooks49]

Jaimie Dosenberg IM SO PROUD OF YOU TOO!!! Woooo, go you! It takes so much strength to do that, and even if you relapse, I know you'll beat those feelings of needing to self harm eventually. 💪💖

[@bethanydiamondlake1911]

Jaimie Dosenberg you can do it!! Always believe in your self!! ❤️😊

[@moriraza4022]

Jaimie Dosenberg 😁😁😄

[@mel-ks9wz]

stay strong!!

[@charlottemackenzie2430]

Jaimie Dosenberg I’m only 13 minutes clean so better than me x

[@MusicaMegUK]

I've been a year and a half clean and I'm still going - It's so relieving to not feel that pain anymore

[@em5114]

Musica Meg that's brilliant, congratulations! :D

[@charliemason6225]

Congratualtions! That's amazing, I am proud of you, keep going! You are incredible.

[@spookyjane4876]

congrats! stay strong

[@colleenthecat_]

YAY!!!! PROUD OF YOU!!!

[@keatonsboring]

Congrats dude :) stay strong

[@leomcintyre4673]

I'm only 2 weeks clean it's not much but I'm quite proud of myself

[@ninalol3484]

I'm proud of you, you can keep it up :)

[@hanaortiz7596]

keep clean! stay strong I believe in you

[@faevani]

Literally Just Rose I'm proud of you!

[@chickenstickavocado2389]

It's funny how proud you are of someone you don't know.. It just really clicks I guess :) Stay alive, fren

[@faevani]

Molly doesn't know what to say I mean, I know her, we go to the same school

[@rileyblackery2109]

Today I was discharged from the hospital after self harming pretty badly. Tomorrow is a new day. Life goes on, my dudes. Please help your friends at all costs, because it will help so much in the long run. Thanks, Emma, for raising awareness for this 💙 I love you

[@ssofiaclaire6805]

Good luck on your journey!

[@rileyblackery2109]

Thank you!

[@ssofiaclaire6805]

No problem!!

[@rileyblackery2109]

***** Thank you

[@cerysblevins]

Good Luck - sending you all the love xx

[@Kiyajadie]

tomorrow i'll be 200 days clean from my last relapse.

[@ninalol3484]

Øvercast Kid I'm so proud of you friend, you're amazing (:

[@Kiyajadie]

Nina Williams thank you so much ❤️

[@papaquonis]

Yay!

[@carysmcarthurlewis492]

I am so proud of you

[@SharonVictoria90]

That's amazing!! I'm so proud of you. You're so strong!

[@cliqueasfrick1162]

not self harmed in 6 months! Stay strong guys❤️

[@ellymarshall479]

Clique As Frick I wish i was as brave as you i was 300 days clean yesterday, its 2 days now :(

[@bellarees9545]

Mimila M Relapsing doesn't discount the days you didn't self harm! Those 300 days still count, please don't be so hard on yourself. You did amazing to last that long :)

[@bellarees9545]

Clique As Frick well done! That's so good ❤️

[@naraki__4690]

U can stay strong!!!!!

[@cerysdunbar9967]

congratulations so much.I know it may have been a hard and long journey but please keep fighting.xXx

[@pattymccafferty1220]

I've not self harmed in about 4 months. I'm proud.

[@oxymoronicray8462]

patty Mccafferty well done :) that's amazing! I'm proud of you too :)

[@pattymccafferty1220]

thank youv😚

[@hannahchilver2143]

patty Mccafferty well done omg

[@Ava-km4sc]

I'm proud of you!

[@pinkunicorn278]

That is amazing!! Well done beauty, God bless you xx

[@marcyrey4736]

today I'm 2 years clean :D

[@LoLevel31]

Congrats! Keep that smile going on your face and never let anything or anyone bring you down :)

[@pinkunicorn278]

That's really good! You can do it beauty, good luck! xx

[@mistierr]

[@JusKitty]

Congrats :D, 3 months in a week for me

[@bethanydiamondlake1911]

Wow!! Congrats!! 😊❤️😊

[@Nobau62]

No hate but please don't call shallow cuts "chicken scratches" it makes people feel who do shallow cuts like they are fakers because they feel like their cuts aren't good enough because of the word 'chicken' otherwise amazing video fully support it.

[@mentalhealthhelp1016]

Andrea ye that's what I thought and I think her vid is so good tho

[@tigercub6047]

H03 iii

[@r_ver777]

thank you, the only reason i would shallow cut was becuz i didnt want to leave scars becuz if i did mh parents would gind out

[@karissamay1831]

Do shallow cuts leave blood just curious I know it’s dumb I need to know because I don’t want scars

[@r_ver777]

@@karissamay1831 please please dont cut yourself. all kinds of cuts can bleed and all kind of cuts can scar. i have scars all over my thighs that i wish i could take back from very shallow cuts. i know its tough, im still in recovery to this day and have relapsed over 4 times in the past year. but please do anything else besides cut or harm yourself. i was in the exact state of mind you are in right now, and sometimes still am. but think about it this way: you hear another person asking if shallow cuts scar so they can cut themselves. what do you do? you tell them not to right? well that person is yourself. please tell yourself not to do it, it really isnt worth it. if you need further help, please let me know and i'll give you my Instagram so we can dm. im here for you :) please dont hurt yourself

[@nikko8866]

Thank you so much for making this video Emma. I have recently also found out that one of my best friends are self harming over the summer and she told me to tell no one so I listened (which was a big mistake). She would always were her school jumper to cover her arms and never wore short sleeved shirts. I had no idea what to do as I wanted to tell someone, but I also didn't want to lose her as a friend. Of course I couldn't take it anymore, it was too hard for me to go into school and carry on with my everyday life knowing that my best friend was harming herself. So just about a week ago I told the school counsellor and she's currently getting help. I don't know if we're still friends or if she even wants to be my friend, but the best thing to do was to tell someone so she can get the right help for herself. What I've realised is that, if your friend or anyone is self harming and they have told you too keep it a secret, please tell someone so they can have the right support and help they need

[@kobitoackerman5400]

You sound like a really good friend c:

[@nikko8866]

Kobito Ackerman thank you

[@elisimming5191]

It sounds like it went right in your situation but not everyone is so understanding. Telling someone could actually cause more harm if you're not careful.

[@rkive05]

Hi.. my friend told me yterday that she was feeling worthless ..and she wants to die .. I told her that shes worth it and all thatt ..today she told me that she cut herself ..and make it like a joke .. Im so scared right now .. I told her that we'll find a way to cope this problem and I'll be there for her .. etc.. any tipss?? I think tdy is her first time self harming .. so i dont know if i should take this super seriously or not ..cuz you know I dont want to force herr .. excuse my bad grammar .. english is not my first language

[@chloeoniell5819]

@@elisimming5191 I selfed harmed and when my mum ended up finding out and the teacher's etc, I was super angry at the time but months later I now am glad. Always seek professional advice by a trusted adult! Usually most people understand, that's why you should talk to a trusted adult or professional who's trained in that area.

[@francesivy6194]

I didn't self harm properly just like little chicken scratches as Emma says but I'm still 5 months clean and am so proud

[@user-nv8bu9si7e]

Frances Ivy well done. I'm so proud

[@francesivy6194]

Ginga_Ninja03 thank you

[@mistierr]

keep it up, pal!

[@aleareifenrath6599]

Frances Ivy that's still a great thing 😊

[@1bookfisher335]

I'm so proud of you hun

[@lovaticp8010]

i'm struggling from self harm almost 4 years, and i can tell you that this is the hardest thing i'm going through. i've been hospitalized many times, getting stitches, Psychologists everywhere, anxiety, suicide thoughts. ITS NOT A LIFE. today i'm trying to fight as hard as i can.. today i'm 12 days clean- my best in these whole 4 years.. kinda proud. :)

[@elisebanks8774]

LOVATIC :P How are you today? I want to know how you're going, even if that sounds weird.

[@minaharker9316]

Congratulations! Keep going strong, you can do it!

[@billieeilish4735]

i'm so proud of you. how are you doing now? this was 4 years ago

[@plutothebug]

Good job! Keep going

[@SophieDoubleYou]

At least in the UK (and I believe everywhere), doctors CANNOT tell your parents something you say to them without your explicit permission unless they feel you are in immediate danger. It's part of the Patient Confidentiality agreement that all doctors sign.

[@SophieDoubleYou]

Oops I posted this before you said the same thing in the video :L

[@isobelrobbins9092]

Depends - the first person i told in a counselling position had to tell my parents as soon as i started to express wanting to self harm in a cutting form because saying that breaches that confidentiality and if a counsellor sees scars that seem fresh they'll probably ask about them and how often you self harm - and by saying that it would be breaching the harm confidential agreement i think...

[@SophieDoubleYou]

Isobel Robbins I think it may work differently between counsellors and, say, a family GP, I'm not sure though

[@Embetebe]

From my limited knowledge of the US system (as a non-American), then they can't report your prior self harm, but have a legal responsibility to report you if they believe you are about to do so again. If they know and you end up killing yourself then they could be sued for something - can't recall the legal term but doctors can get into trouble for refusing to treat patients (where it is not related to race etc)

[@IndyMartiniVideos]

To reiterate Isobel's point - when I went to a professional psychiatrist, despite them telling me otherwise, they gave my parents the notes on our entire conversation - so, while there is a confidentiality thing, it isn't exactly always followed - just to be realistic

[@effieboo9275]

one of my very good friends in college was a cutter I ended up walking him to counseling services and held his hand until he went back and stayed the hour until his entry appt was over. We had other incidents where I knew he was cutting or wasn't in a good place and he stayed the night or I went to his apartment and hid the knives. He hasn't cut for a few months but now is indulging in other self destructive behaviors. The most you can do is encourage your friend(s) to get help, and stand by them/ be there for them, but for your own mental health you have to accept that you can't force them and they have to be the ones to do it (Like Emma said)

[@user-mo3qy1wm6d]

I go through this myself but i am too nervous to talk to anyone as I really dont want my parents to know. I really dont know what to do but i want to do something

[@jappev924]

I would talk to him/her and ask her a bit about herself? Just regular things... Ask for his/her pen as if u forgot it. (ups ur friendly relationship) just try to talk.. :s idk what i'd do others immediately :s

[@emmaroombaasmr8036]

Call self harm hotlines and chats or talk to counselor. Just remember that everything will get better, I promise ❤️❤️❤️

[@maybchaos]

7 cups of tea is a great anonymous chat helpline. it doesn't take too long for someone to reply to youm

[@nobodysmoonshine8547]

PopTartLover56 I haven't told people, but if you need to talk to someone I shall always be here for you💙💚

[@goats_and_pizza955]

There is an app called 7 cups of tea and it's for mental health. Trained people in there will talk to you and help you through your issues. I think you can also find therapists through this. There are programs on the app that will help cope also. (Mine today was writing down five things in my life I am grateful for)

[@heatherlovesrats7040]

This exact thing happened to me in Year 9 (2012), except I did go to a teacher about my friend. We fell out and it did cost me our friendship and we were never really close in the same way after that. I spent a lot of time regretting telling someone about what she was going through. But on the last day of sixth form (2016), we were signing yearbooks and saying goodbye. My friend who I'd helped but since grown apart from asked to sign mine. When I got home and read what she'd written, I cried. She'd written me the most simple yet heartfelt thank you note for helping her four years previously. And I know that if I could go back in time, I wouldn't do anything differently. If you have a friend going through this, please tell someone. If I had done nothing, that thank you note might not have ever been in my yearbook. Instead, it might have been a memorial page to her.

[@adamridds978]

I'm 2 months clean! Woooo

[@benmeyer352]

well done keep it up

[@art1x_lxna_onTT]

That's awesome :) I've tried before but it's still too hard to quit. Hopefully soon though.

[@savannah9620]

Good job! I’m not a day clean but I’m glad u are!!!

[@tracyspam]

omg same!

[@JayFlourishing]

I am almost 300 days clean from self harm (cutting) and things have been really tough lately. So I am struggling to keep going, I will though. I want to carry on being okay. But it tough. It's really hard, but you can get though it, whoever you are, it will be really hard and you will probably relapse a lot, but each time you will get stronger and get tougher each time. You will get through this, I am trying and we can try together, stay strong my dudes 💕

[@JayFlourishing]

Also, I think parents need to know if you tell the school. My school had to as they said if things got 'worse' or I got in a dangerous position and they had known then they could get in trouble. My mum was told and she was helpful and I got the help I needed, you will get through this

[@Mellytriestoshine]

well done! ❤ im sure youll make it through this tough period.

[@bethanydiamondlake1911]

Jay W Good luck!! You can get through anything!!!❤️😊

[@mel-ks9wz]

Jayden stay strong!!

[@idkimbeth]

I can relate to this fear a lot. I always held myself back from completely venting to my counsellor, because I was scared they'd say something. Everything is confidential until they discover you're a harm to yourself. They won't tell your family about self harm, but if they discover that you've attempted suicide, they will tell your parents. It's the same with doctors, from what I know. My friend went to a psychologist, but they didn't give her compulsory help because my friend told them she hadn't attempted, even when she had. Ngl, if it wasn't for my friend Stacey, I wouldn't have got help for years. She went and told my school that I was struggling with self harm and suicidal thoughts, and the school spoke to me. Annoyingly, they didn't give me counselling until 3 years later. I used to talk to my form tutor a lot, because she was very understanding and sometimes, you need someone who's experienced a little more than your friends. She always allowed me to vent to her, and she'd advise me a lot and aid me through things. She'd give me coping mechanisms etc. In the past, my mum has discovered my self harm and stuff, and she took it badly. She would tell me that I'm pathetic, and that I should leave musical theatre because I'm being too dramatic. Due to that, I never told my mum, and that's the reason I don't get help. I'm scared I won't be able to be honest without them getting involved. It sucks ...

[@idkimbeth]

Also, from what I know, nothing is confidential under the age of 13. Over the age of 13, everything you say to a counsellor or teacher is confidential unless you're a harm to yourself (planning suicide, already attempted)

[@alannar.8701]

They WILL tell your parents about self harm in some places. At my school, they have to.

[@idkimbeth]

Alanna R. I guess it just depends on the school, everybody has different confidentiality guidelines

[@alannar.8701]

Beth Jefferies Probably. My point is, be careful, make sure you know the rules before you talk to anyone.

[@ciaramartin4667]

33 days clean

[@rrabbix]

Amazing! Congratulations :)

[@papychull]

YAY! stay clean!

[@bethanydiamondlake1911]

Ciara Martin CONGRATULATIONS! Well done and remember that you can get through anything!!! ❤️😊

[@rkive05]

Im proud of you ..3 years later ..how are youu?

[@colindowling8967]

This video was so enlightening I self harm, and I told my friends- not looking for attention but looking for help and support. At the time, my guardians, doctor, counsellor and school did not know, and I liked it that way. Around a month ago, my friends told the school which honestly angered me so much. I didn’t speak to them for a couple of days and, when I eventually did, we argued for at least a week. I ended up, however, coming round and realising that I couldn’t stay mad at them forever. I did not understand or appreciate what they did, but through watching this video I think I finally can. If you are reading this and know someone who self harms, please tell a trusted adult. If you are reading this and self harm, please tell a trusted adult. It’s so damn hard but much more important that you do. Thank you for making this video, it’s so important that the message is spread.

[@threadle]

Basically, I’m sixteen and I have a friend who’s only ten. (Our parents are friends and hang out a lot) I was talking to her and I noticed some cuts on her wrist. (Chicken scratches) She’s a really really sweet girl and it made me so upset to see that. I’d talked with her mom a lot and she was really kind. I told her mother and she was super supportive. I’ve seen that she stopped and she still talks with me a lot. I didn’t want to see someone so young self harming.

[@alannar.8701]

PSA: In America at least, guidance counselors are legally required to tell the person's parents. MAKE SURE that whoever you're talking to isn't required to tell the person's parents, if there may be a negative reaction from them. I don't know how it works with anonymity, but be VERY CAREFUL before telling anyone. Even if you think their parents will be supportive, you don't know their home life, okay? My suggestion is to go to the guidance counselor and tell them to talk to your friend. Don't bring up self harm, just say that they're depressed and need someone to talk to. That allows them to decide for themself what the best course of action is, but you make them take that first step of getting help. If you like, go with them. Like Emma said, it's all grey area, nothing is certain, but that has worked in the past.

[@alannar.8701]

Another thing, that someone else below mentioned. Please, please, put yourself first. By all means, help other people, but at the end of the day, the only person you can help for certain is yourself. Do not sacrifice your mental health for someone else's.

[@SinTP2]

Alanna R. Actually it's not everybody that is required to tell your parents, it always depends on the person and situation.

[@alannar.8701]

Travis Perks Exactly, which is why I said to make sure that the person you're talking to isn't required to tell your parents.

[@HouseMDaddict]

that's not true. speaking as an acual counselor in the united States, it depends on the student and the situation. tons of kids that have come to tell me about self harm had parents that were judgemental about everything and not supportive, so I had a group at school of girls who self harmed and we worked through it together. 12 and older they don't have to tell parents if the situation warrants it

[@alannar.8701]

HouseMDaddict Oh, okay, that's good to know, then. Maybe it differs from place to place, because the counselors at my school said that, no matter what, they have to tell their parents. To amend my previous statement, then, make sure you know your school's rules, I guess?

[@maisyn]

Just last night I gave my mom my blades, I'm really proud of myself.

[@alannahx6641]

Kyaire Thackery IM SO PROUD OF YOU

[@abbysomerville5021]

Kyaire Thackery well done you should be proud :)

[@albasapri3265]

That is absolutely brilliant, honest. :)

[@maisyn]

Thank you all! :)

[@secondglnce5318]

+Kyaire Thackery that's amazing well done

[@urltima]

I never told my mom because I thought she would restrict me even more than she already did. She was overly strict in everything and had control over everything I did up until I turned 18 and ran away. Wasn't allowed friends, a job, anything. When I started self harming, I realized how scary it was getting because I became suicidal and when I finally told her out of fear, she took everything out of my room until there was nothing but a mattress on my floor. It was like that for two years (I had no phone or internet or computer, no connection to the outside world), and then I ran away when I turned 18. Looking back, I wish I had never said anything to her. She hates me now because I "abandoned" her and she hardly ever speaks to me. It hurts everyday to not only not have a dad (he left when I was 12), but to also not really have a mom either. It sucks and it's lonely and depressing as fuck.

[@hollyvanherk6178]

littlebabykibby That is so terrible for you. I hope you are doing well now!

[@stewyhosseini]

littlebabykibby are u doing okay

[@abby-zp5ky]

nervousnyan how are you doing now? be safe 💕

[@moozycarrots]

Stay strong.

[@pxndscxm]

This happened to me and I told a trusted teacher and my friend was so mad, but I would do it all again bc I'd rather go to school and have her mad, then have to go to her funeral

[@jacksonv5138]

Rebecca Trumble a couple years ago my friends went to the school counselor about me. i was PISSED but now i’m grateful in the long run

[@annistar15]

Today.. I'm three weeks and two days clean. Not that people will probably care, but this video genuinely made me feel a bit better. So thank you Emma, thank you so much

[@hmilz9775]

I really really needed this video, I found out my friend is self harming today, despite having suffering with it in the past I don't know how to help them. Thank you Emma you might be able to help me help my friend. I'm so glad I have you to help so many people :)

[@miffygames3657]

I'm 14 and i know someone who self-harms (chicken scratches), but i feel a lot of the kids my age romanticise mental health and its to the point wear it irritates me because they pick aspects of depression like "being sad all the time" or having body dismorphia when really they're doing it because they're obsessed with attention or appearing more than just a teenage girl/boy. It's hard to tell if they even need help because of a chemical imbalance or if they're just fishing for compliments. I'm not trying to come across as a dick but i hate wasting time on people who don't need it, i dunno, maybe im the problem. I'd appreciate if you made a topic on romanticising mental illness its so popular yet its hardly talked about, smh.

[@alannar.8701]

Romanticizing mental illness does suck (although it's really nothing new, in fact, I think the term may come from Romanticism rather than romance, which was an artistic era that definitely involved some romanticizing of mental illness), but if someone is fishing for compliments, it means that they need it. Never, ever brush someone aside because they're "just" looking for attention. If they're looking for attention that badly, then they most likely DO need it.

[@miffygames3657]

Alanna R. I know, and I've thought of that but 2 weeks later you see them out of the "im depressed" phase. Honestly i couldn't care less if they wanna pretend they have some sort of mental health issue its the fact they like to push it on me. Or start postin pictures of words in black and white about being sad, when they have no idea of what its like to be actually depressed, i would know. Then they'd stigmatise other mental illnesses because they're too ignorant to research it and they stay ignorant because they want to believe in their own definition of depression. I know its not new, to be honest it happens too much.

[@flurgerbla7609]

+

[@spaceman6791]

I know how you feel omg! I have a friend who tries to do/like everything I like and she knows I have severe anxiety/depression and so she started faking anxiety/depression (I can tell when people are faking because I actually have it confirmed by a GP and all that) anyway she thankfully went to a counsellor and the counsellor told her she had no signs of anxiety or depression and i was so happy someone finally told her off.

[@miffygames3657]

+It's Maia Exactlyyy, although I don't entirely agree that people should be told off by romanticising illnesses but probably just educated on what it is and what effects it can have. I feel people play with mental illness as if it's something trivial which makes it a hell of a lot harder for people with actual depression to talk about it or even get help to ease it. I dunno, people are weird lol

[@laurajob4532]

Im watching this and at 14:30, I can't agree with you unfortunately. You're talking about 13 year olds Emma. I think in many situations it can actually be dangerous for your own mental health. I was a person who used to tell EVERYONE with problems "you can call me at any time!!" I don't do this anymore, because I know how it would influence me. So I disagree on saying to any friend with problems that they can call you at any time because man - I've been in weird situations were being held down by someone elses problems. Especially in a situation where you've struggled or you're struggling with self-harm, take my advice, take care of yourself first. If someone doesn't want to take your simple advice and is in great danger, tell someone but don't let it get to you. Don't feed your hunger by listening to another self-harm story. If you struggle with self-harm, whether it is you struggling or someone you know; I understand you don't want to tell someone like a parent or teacher. But get your story out. Certain phone numbers (which I'm sure you can find in the description) or even online, like this website www.cyhm.org (which stands for Can You Here Me) where you can share your story, struggles, but also art and other things you're proud of. It's for you to make you feel heard without having to tell anyone you don't want to tell. Be safe everyone. ❤️

[@alannar.8701]

+

[@user-mn2xk6nq7y]

+

[@AfroDucky69]

I certainly see where you're coming from because all the way through secondary school I did the same thing and there were points where it was just awful. It depends though; it depends on the friend and your relationship, it depends on yourself and it depends on what else is going on. You can always listen though, that is one thing everyone can always do, they can just listen to the problem and at least someone to talk to. You just have to remember that it's not a problem for you personally to try ad solve or fix, and you can't let it become your own problem because that's unproductive for everyone involved and it is, ultimately, self destructive.

[@emmagray125]

I just wanted to say thank you for saying that, because I was that exact person. Whenever someone was sad, I wanted to be that person they could rant. I self-harmed in middle school and i think it was mostly because I was like alot of people's therapists. It really does take a toll on you.

[@Weeviewoo.]

Laura Job I know I have a (not a friend) who keeps dragging me down with her problem saying She does drugs, alcohol and cuts towards my face and kind of asking for me to feel sorry and because I had anxiety I did feel bad and I felt so cornered but one day I told her its her choice if she wants help she should get it but she can't drag me down with her I kinda agree with you on that note Evie 💜💜

[@abbeyz4920]

I was 6 months clean before my last relapse... Now just over 3 and trying so hard not to go back. If there's one things I could say to anyone thinking of starting, it's please, please, don't. Once you do it's something that will follow you forever.

[@bellarees9545]

Abbey Z Those 6 months still count, remember that. Also i self harmed for 2 years everyday, but a year on i've only relapsed 3 times and now i don't even have any urges. There is always hope!

[@abbeyz4920]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate that and hope you stay well xxx

[@sarahmoonnn]

Similar here. Haven't really been counting but it's probably something like that only my last relapse was a little more recent, but coming from someone who used to do it every day and had constant urges, I can say it gets easier every time. And I truly hope there won't be a 'next time', for me and for you too. Keep trying and keeping those positive thoughts in your head

[@MockingJay61899]

Abbey Z great job I'm so proud of you!!! You can do this, hope you're okay !!

[@beans77]

Two Days Clean… I'm Trying!

[@cass.pt.2]

***Beans*** I don't know you very well but I'm proud of you! As of now I'm also two days clean and I'm working on stopping. I'm really proud of you for trying to stop

[@beans77]

The Kiwi Bird Queen Great Job! Believe Me I Know It's Hard But We Will Both Get Through This! 💪🏼

[@cass.pt.2]

***Beans*** 😊😊😊 We can do this!

[@brooklyn7401]

***Beans*** I relapsed today but it was only a scratch, not to terrible but it was a few days before that.

[@egzystujmyrazempokojowo2611]

Proud of you ♥

[@CitizenOfNeverland]

This is so important...thank you for sharing with love and compassionx

[@daniellecope283]

A counsellor I went to told my mum I self harmed right infront of me and it will always be the most horrific moment of my life. But after that I was more open and I was able to ask for my mum's support because I wasn't hiding from her. We were never close but have been inseparable since. Secrets can hurt the people around you more than the truth because they won't know how to help

[@giraffeedits801]

I am on both sides of this. I am the self harmer and I am the friend who knows about a few friends who self harm and it's hard. I wouldn't want my friend to tell because I don't want that. I always feel I am the burden I am the reason for all the problems with my family and friends. And on the other hand I want my two friends to get help and I want them to stop but I know I can't stop myself and I don't know how to help them because I can barley help myself. This helped a lot emma thank you. I am kinda in the situation as Alice too and it's hard, it's really hard.

[@cutecreeper612]

Today I'm 3 weeks clean and your videos have helped me get my mind off it a lot. Thankyou

[@ethanholder52]

Cutecreeper61 I'm 5 mins clean

[@sehnisweet343]

I'm like 4 or 5 weeks clean, it's longest I've gone. I'm pretty proud of myself.

[@alecjuho9436]

I'm proud of you :) I hope it keeps going

[@djdom8048]

KEEP FIGHTING YOUNG CHILD OF MINE

[@jaydendunwell7920]

well done keep going

[@sehnisweet343]

Thanks guys. I was really close to breaking my streak last night, but I'm doing ok now

[@alecjuho9436]

Im so glad that you didnt break the streak. Good job ❤

[@f.rankieverse]

It's been almost 2 years since the last time I hurt myself & I just want others to know that it is hard but also possible to get help. No one noticed, no one saw anything, & if they did they didn't say anything. I had to be brave enough to go to my mom in the middle of the night and say "I. Need. Help". It is so hard but so worth it. The sadness doesn't just go away quickly, it's a process. And even then it doesn't go away completely. It is worth it to tell someone. It is worth it to get help even if you think no one would care. If it weren't for me forcing myself out of my bed, tears in my eyes, fresh cuts on my legs, a low self-esteem, & almost no will for life. Then I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be as happy as I am right now. I wouldn't have influenced as many people as I am right now. It is always worth it to stay. It is always worth it to be brave and ask for help. You. Are. Worth it.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@ilovebooks49]

osmosisjane Thanks so much for this comment... I've been trying so hard for years to battle the sadness and dullness and feeling of hopelessness for years by myself but it feels like it'll never go away, like I'll always be sad... And it's really hard for me to be honest about how bad I'm feeling, even to a therapist. I just want to feel better but I don't even feel like that's possible... Sorry for ranting on your comment.

[@f.rankieverse]

Auva Stratos you're so welcome. It's really hard trying to get through it because everything is happening in your brain and body. It takes some time to get to where you need to be. Don't try rushing it, that will only make you feel like you aren't where you need to be quick enough. Take it slow if you're seeing a therapist. Move at the pace you'd like to & gradually get to a place where you're willing to share more personal things. And it's no problem. Everyone needs someone that will listen

[@Handleshmandle1]

I'm 7-8 years clean of self harm. What you'll realise on your journey to never doing it again is that the urges may never leave you. I still get them but they're easier to deal with now it's been so long. But cutting will never fail to cross my mind when I'm upset. It's just learning to never give in again.

[@rkive05]

Wowww Im so proud of you❤

[@muneebahmed2391]

I love going through the comments and seeing everyone saying "I'm enter time long clean" and here's me like I'm two days clean :(

[@alexgraham3267]

Muneeb Ahmed it's okay man! I'm only 5 days myself stay strong, every day is a new day

[@starhill6792]

Muneeb Ahmed We all started out with one and two days clean. You begin one or two days clean, and progress as time goes on. I'm 2 years now, and it was really hard, but it gets easier. Just never forget we all started off one day clean.

[@bellarees9545]

You will be able to stop in the end, i went through 2 years of self harming every day and I'm now a year on and have only relapsed 3 times. Don't be too hard on yourself, this is an addiction. Please get help if you haven't already.

[@rrabbix]

Two days is amazing progress! It's better then one day and it's better than nothing at all. Keep up the amazing work, I believe in you

[@feywildmoon]

Muneeb Ahmed there was a time when I couldn't skip a day. Two days was impossible for me. Now I'm almost two years clean, something I never thought would happen. Just never give up! I promise you're stronger than you think you are ❤️

[@humanette3270]

As a trainee teacher, I can give advice on how to handle this situation. Due to child safety laws, every school has a safeguarding department, often called SENCO. If you speak to a teacher, that teacher will tell no-one but the SENCO team. The teacher is supplied with form, and they write down what you've said, and give it to SENCO, and then they have to forget about it. They aren't allowed to ask questions and probe you for more information, they aren't allowed to check up on you, and they aren't allowed to make a decision as to whether your parents find out or not. All of that responsibility goes to the SENCO safeguarding team. That team is in contact with all the local authorities, from the police to social services. Most likely, they will contact your parents and discreetly let them know what is going on without you knowing, and your parents will discreetly give you support, but only if they think it is the right thing to do. If, say, you've told a teacher that your parents are abusing you, they will have to contact social services or the police, but they will handle the situation with the utmost delicacy. They will not tell your friends or your teachers what is going on at home. It will not get out around the school unless you let it. The safeguarding offices are open to you at any time, and I would urge you if you are worried about anything at all, you tell a teacher, because at the end of the day, they aren't going to be malicious. Why would they? They are going to help solve the problem, and it won't be an easy journey, but it's for your safety and wellbeing, and after all, that's the only thing that really matters.

[@smilee2566]

Humanette thanks so much!! I really needed to know this as I've been seeing a counsellor at my school.

[@thequeerbookworm5780]

Wish my old school had your senco department as I know some other people who are still struggling there because the service the school provides, it does little to help and sometimes makes it worst. My old assistant principal was the safeguarding head and she was corrupt and did what suited her, I’m glad I’m out of that school now and have found somewhere I love to be with better support

[@stevie2811]

i don’t think my school has that unfortunately as some teacher must have seen my arm and told our safe guarding person and they rang home

[@SarahsRoaming]

1 week and 2 days clean.. Not much but it makes me happy

[@rrabbix]

That's great progress! :) Congratulations

[@blakegriggs2423]

" it was uploaded 10 seconds ago why is it not on my recommended list wtf." And thank you for covering this topic Emma, it means a lot to me!!

[@freyachantal4571]

I have been self harming for about 3 years. I have been getting help for a couple of weeks and I think stumbling across this video was quite ironic. Thank you Emma for trying to help every single one of your veiwers. X

[@willlaaarthur]

I don't care if your 24 hours or 2 years clean of self harm, I think you are strong and an awsome human being and I'm proud of you. Also, even if you currently self harming, for whatever reason you're doing it, you haven't done anything wrong. If you're ashamed of sexuality or gender or have issues in home life please get help from a trusted person or talk to someone because you're worth more. Just be you and don't hate yourself for *anything* . As Emma said there are helpline numbers in the description. It doesn't matter who you are you shouldn't have to do this alone. Stay strong ✨

[@avoshii2059]

I'm so happy because I'm about 3 months clean ❤ I have really bad anxiety and I used to deeply scratch myself on my upper arms and burn my thighs with a lighter until they would blister and no one would see because they were in other places but one day I just decided to just stop. I tried so hard, and I only did a few scratches every day. I'm trying so hard to overcome this and it does get worse sometimes, but you just have to keep trying.

[@laurenbenskin9282]

I've been clean for over 7 months, and I've never been happier. it does get better

[@alexprice594]

Looking at all the comments makes me feel really good because everyone is saying there experiences with self harm and depression and how they felt alone as well and reading all of theses I feel a lot less crazy

[@bellarees9545]

Emily Hemmings You're definitely not crazy! Mental illness is terrifying but you're not insane, I promise.

[@alexprice594]

Bella Rees Thankyou honestly that means a lot

[@user-dc2ho7rb6t]

I once had a suicidal friend. One night she said she'd actually do it. I cried for maybe 2-3 hours before telling my dad, who got help. She wouldn't talk to me for a few weeks but her parents are now aware of it and we're still friends. She actually thanked me a few months after my dad got help.. anyway the summary is *tell someone*!!! your friend won't be mad at you forever bc they'll realize how much you've helped them later on.

[@nerderiffic8682]

my friend from college recently told me she was self harming again. She asked me to tell no one but she just felt she could trust me enough to tell me, which is something I'm so glad she did. I've done the best I can to help and it seems to be helping her, and she told me she's going to see a doctor to get antidepressants, so I'm glad she's trying to help herself, but I don't know what to do, no matter what I'm not telling someone, I know her enough to know that betrayal of trust could be the final nail in the coffin (if you get the metaphor) I would be fine with her no longer being my friend if it means she's getting the help she needs, but I know that, if I'm to tell someone, it might be what finally causes her to take more extreme measures. When she told me she was self harming, I wasn't shocked, i know she has been diagnosed with a few mental illnesses and, is by the way she has spoken to me sometimes, ready to leave everything behind, yet I still had a panic attack just because, I don't know how to help with self harm, I can deal with depression and anxiety and such because I've had firsthand experiences with those illnesses and know what to do to help. But this is the first time i've experienced self harm so I don't know what else I can say or do. I think for now I'll do what you advised and try to email my tutor and ask for some advice anonymously.

[@dakotahope599]

Thank you so, so much. Excactly what someone would need to hear to help another or themselves ♡

[@xzonia1]

Excellent advice. The world is a better place because you're in it, Emma. Thank you.

[@queensalmon4905]

I'm two days clean. I'm so ashamed of it and I've been trying to hide it from my parents. They get so angry at me for doing it and I hate it. It's awful, but I'm trying. And this time it wasn't as bad as any of the others.

[@tm9crazyfunkymonkey]

Really needed this a couple years ago

[@BoodleCake]

This made me cry so much. Please if there is anyone out there that wants to ever talk to me or self harms I am here! There are so many people out there u can talk to and I'm one of them. Please contact me if you need to talk I love you all so much and please just speak to friends or family.

[@levitula2472]

you're my favourite KZbinr because you help people and I think your great!

[@ZAINABHAIDERRIZVI]

Emma your positivity pledge videos are amazing. Thank you sooo soo much for them. Please don't ever stop making them. You're such an amazing person.

[@someeggs5764]

ah, if you're under 16 (or 18, not sure which) and tell a doctor you've had suicidal thoughts they're required to tell your parents

[@justinr.4705]

Well, I don't know if it's like that in every country, but I live in Germany and the doctors here have to remain silent if you tell them to be when you're at the age of 14, I think? Please correct me if I'm talking nonsense.

[@someeggs5764]

ooh, could very well be the case there. i mean for me in the uk, and i told a doctor when i was around 15, quite stupidly before asking if it was confidential, to which she said it wasn't ://

[@justinr.4705]

some eggs oh no, that's not good :/ how did it turn out? And, if I might ask, you don't have to answer to any of this if you don't want to, but how are you now?

[@someeggs5764]

Justin R. it's alright :) she got my dad in, he was annoyed, he told my mum, she was furious, and when i got a referral letter in the post, my mum threw it away, and it was never brought up again. i'm better than before, but it would've been nice to have had a bit of help along the way

[@justinr.4705]

some eggs yeah, I guess so. But I'm glad that you're at least better than before and I wish you a whole lot of luck and success on your way on whatever path it will take you :)

[@natalia-gy5th]

I'm one month clean, I know that sounds really short but Its progress for me :)

[@rrabbix]

Not at all! One month is amazing progress! Congratulations. :)

[@kit6752]

it’s not short it’s my main goal right now , you go for going that long :)

[@Hussain_Zaki]

It is very great to see Emma do these Deep talking videos. a lot of KZbinrs don't Do this . This what makes a Good connected Community .................Thank you Emma for these Vlogs Keep the Great content ( :

[@xEveemintx]

I'm almost 2 weeks clean now (thankfully). I believe that the advice you're giving is the best. I do have a good support friend wise, my mother is TRYING her best to be supportive, while my sister and uncle make it worse. It's difficult to stop or to build up the confidence to tell someone or reach out. I know I struggled with telling or even speaking about it . But it is important to tell someone to let them know even if it's indirect. You'll regret it at first but you will appriciate it.

[@tinahutber946]

This channel is great, so many interesting and helpful videos, and I can't wait for more. Thank you for honestly talking about difficult topics, Emma. Thank you! :)

[@poopkorn1677]

see why dont my friends help me with this. they ask if im okay, and even if i say yes or no they just completely ignore it.

[@marilynalice3055]

Josie Randall their scared. They don't know what to do. It's a scary thing to see someone you love hurting themselves.

[@pinkpandapopper]

Josie Randall from being in the friend position I can understand (and I hope you will too) that they may struggle to talk about the issues as they feel as though they're intruding. It can be difficult to confront you about these issues and they may feel that it's something you don't want to talk about. Can I suggest turning to childline website as you can talk to counsellors who may provide the support your friends are not.

[@laurenmooney9544]

Professional help.

[@emilycrowleyyy]

Josie Randall I unfortunately relate to this a lot... get new friends. They aren't your real friends if they aren't helping you, in any way not just mental health problems. Get some new friends who will help you and will be there for you

[@AnimalLover24561]

help yourself it's not their responsibility

[@monkeygif5543]

My close friend told me she was self harming, she told her mum but her mum told her that if she continued, then she would take her phone away and look through all her conversations. Her mum also blames it on "hormones". I spoke to my mum about it and thankfully she reassured me that if I was ever in that situation, she would support me and take me to a doctor/therapist.

[@thenovids77]

my friend isn't self harming, but he does have bad mental health, anxiety and he still thinks about his old friends that left him horribly. he's 90% sure he was add, but his parents don't believe him. he went to a school counselor last year to get help and when he told his parents they were really mad. I wish I could help more. I talk to him and offered to go to the doctors with him but I'm worried he might get worse and that there's nothing I can really do

[@thenovids77]

I'm transgender. I might have depression, again the same friend is great to talk to when I feel bad. I often want to cut myself, but I haven't yet. I've become really determined to not start

[@Lauren123215]

Never start self harming, however tempting it is... It isn't worth the emotional and physical scars that you're left with. Once you've done it there's no escaping it, I'm glad you're determined not to start and please try and make sure that doesn't change, I don't want you to have to go through something I and so many other people have and are still going through! I don't know what to say about your friend though, except maybe if he can go to the doctors himself (and with you if he wishes) then he can maybe get a diagnosis and the doctor can explain to his parents about the diagnosis etc. I find that parents are much more trusting in what a doctor has to say than their child sometimes because they don't see our struggles - whether that's because we hide it or because they don't want to see it! If you ever need an outlet can I recommend childline, samaritans and everything that Emma has linked in the description. However if you just want some love and support I'd recommend the app Vent. You can get trolls on there and people that are idiots - as you do everywhere, however I've met some great online friends on there that are so supportive and its just great to be able to vent my feelings to people I don't know irl because it can still take a weight off your shoulders!

[@thenovids77]

you're so right. thank you a lot for replying. I've just had a lot more thoughts about it recently like it has become more tempting. I'm on a (long) waitinglist for counseling stuff at CAMHS now too so that should improve things that probably would be the best thing to do. he's just a bit afraid if they think that he's lying to them or something. I think that it's really obvious that he's not OK too, even his sister asked him "why are you never happy anymore?" hah I am on vent already and it is really good. people are so nice there it helps

[@littlefishiesinthese]

This is such an amazing video, thank you so much Emma. The fact you can stay on topic for so long and how you articulate yourself so well amazes me.

[@meganstrode7297]

4.5 years clean. It will get better. Even if you have a couple of dips on the way. - Having been on both sides of this coin, I want to thank you for actually making this video Emma, even if it is a "touchy" subject. If ony there were more people in the world like you

[@queensalmon4905]

I'm one of the luckier ones. My dad had a brother who commited suicide and one who has PTSD, so he gets alot of what's going on with me emotionally. My mom has a minor in pysch and she can help with the things I can't understand, so she helps me mentally. My older siblings have both self harmed and have gotten through it so I have their support along with it. So I use my luck to get and help other people through their challenges.

[@Emzjellybeanz]

Oh my god NO you should not tell anyone that a friend is self harming without that person's permission. You have no idea how their family are going to react, and often parents that aren't understanding will just make it worse by guilting the person. There have been people who have been kicked out of home because of their parents finding out about their self harm. And the absolute panic when you find out that someone you trusted has meddled in your life in that way is so soul destroying.

[@alannar.8701]

I agree with you, and Emma did say some things to which I was like, "NO! DON'T!" But the friend in question is not in the right state of mind, obviously, and their life is more important than their trust, as Emma said. DO NOT tell their parents if they won't be understanding, because that will only make things worse. But if you have a way of getting them help without getting their parents involved (I think, in some countries, doctors and guidance counselors aren't required to tell parents, although they USUALLY ARE, so be careful), it may be worth it. Betraying someone's trust is a terrible thing to do, and it is a very rare case when you should assume that you know what's best for someone, but that's what makes this so difficult. People may think they don't deserve help, and they always do. But you don't necessarily know if that's why they aren't getting the help they need. tl;dr, you're treading on thin ice, good luck.

[@gizee99]

Emily I agree but I still think if you have a friend you should tell someone. Like a counselor or a school psychiatrist because if they go talk to them and explain their situation that counselor or whatever won't tell. And if they do at least they'll be someone on their side. I've been on the side where I was told on and at the time I went absolutely ballistic. I was so so so angry and it was even worse because I didn't know who told. My mom found out and she hated me, she told me I was stupid blah blah blah. But now I'm almost an adult I'm glad someone told even if my parents hate me. In the end it will be worth it.

[@gizee99]

Emily I don't know it's really tricky. Because for other people it could be worse but I feel like telling someone might have a better outcome because at least they have a chance at help

[@alannar.8701]

Giselle Inocencio Nooooo don't tell a guidance counselor because they are required to tell your parents if you mention self harm and/or suicide

[@emmablackery]

what's the alternative, though? let your friend continue to do it and risk them getting worse and potentially attempting something? as i said, if you feel as though their parents will not react well, tell another adult in confidence

[@lucyy6564]

Well done to everyone who's commenting about their recoveries. You're so strong and I'm so proud of you all❤️

[@UnJustDaemon]

Glad you talked about this. I had a friend who self harmed in school, and did the exact same thing as you. Put my friendship with her over her well-being. I still feel like shit about that, but at least she is doing better now. I lost a lot of trust in everyone when I went through school, a teacher I trusted found out about my self-harm, she told someone higher up (even tho I told her not too) and they told my mum. My mum reacted angrily, she'd see the cuts and just tell me off.. So it all got worse(along with my anxiety). God those were some horrible years of my life. But I'm clean now, for about 4 years. Nearly relapsed the other night, but I'm stronger now :) thanks for talking about this stuff Emma. I'm really enjoying vloggery so far

[@KashouWannabe]

This week you have hit three subjects very close to my heart, and it has been great to hear a 3rd party's take on it. Thank you, Emma. My fave of your channels, keep it up.

[@Whooooooops]

So my ex self harmed, said she wanted to die and that i was the only thing keeping her alive. She was 14 i was 15, this is still quite recently as i'm soon 17. We were together for almost a year and i knew she struggled with some mental health issues but i didn't find out how bad it was untill about 5 months after we got together. Anyways the night she told me she wanted to die i made her promise she was never going to commit suicide or self harm, the next week she called me early in the morning, crying and saying she had gone to town on her arms with a nail clipper and made me promise to not tell anyone because she thought she'd get into trouble. I held my promise for a while before i eventually told my mum since she had started seeing the marks on her arms anyways. Fast forward a month or so and she tried to overdose on painkillers, on my birthday aswell, her parents still didn't know about any of her mental health issues. Luckily she failed but i told my mum as soon as we found out and we called 911 to see if she was in danger, luckily she had taken just too little of the pills to be in danger. Now me as a 15/16 year old guy dealing with anxiety issues myself, (although luckily not in a self harm kind of way), had a very hard time dealing with my girlfriend at the time having such issues, and since i was the only one she trusted enough to talk to i had to comfort her every single day for a year, which drained me to the point where i just couldn't stand it, eventually i made my mum tell her parents, (which wern't very nice to her), because i just couldn't deal with being the only one knowing about her severe issues. They were mad at her and pretended everything was alright and still do to my knowledge. A month or so after that we broke up, for semi-unrelated reasons. I guess what i'm trying to say with my story is that if you have anyone close to you dealing with these things, help them the best you can, but don't do what i did and let it destroy YOU in the process. And no matter if the person dealing with it wants help or not, tell someone, and get them help, it matters!

[@malfoyblackery4722]

Clean for two years and honestly sometimes I feel like cutting again, but when I step back and really think about the situation, I realize there is nothing that cutting would achieve. Because even if I do it and feel good for the first few minutes, I'll grow addicted again and I'll feel worse and worse and fall back into the pit I was in two years ago.

[@lcephoenix]

I never talked about it with anyone except people online, and somehow I still managed to stop. I have no idea why or how, though I believe leaving school must have played a huuge role. I just didn't feel the need to anymore, once school was over. No more stress, no more deadlines, no more failed tests. ...I don't really know. I'm just glad I'm over it, even though I still sometimes think about it.

[@lcephoenix]

***** I never told mine. To this day, she has no clue. And that's good, considering she once said that "only psychos self harm". Anyway, talking to people can be good but if you're forced to talk to people you can't trust, it's just plain pointless. I genuinely hope you'll get better, like I did. I didn't wanna hear that things will get better back then either, but chances are pretty good that they will, one day. I wish you all the best!

[@chlementiine4207]

If schools knew what kids do because of the unnecessary stress of useless, stupid exams and stuff....

[@StrokeMySitar]

I was in your position a few years ago, Emma, and I could have really done with this advice. I'm sure it's helping so many other people in the world, so thank you

[@cookiechaina1238]

It’s just that I was that friend. I was the one self harming. The only thing is that my friends stopped encouraging me to get help. I talk pretty openly about my self harm now, but the first 2 years I kept it as closely to myself as I could. I told my friends and they were surprised, yes, but that’s about as far as it went. No, “I’m always here for you” or “talk to a therapist” or anything like that. To be honest, I was very easily influenced at that time, and my friends seemingly not caring made it worse. Keep in mind, I started in 5th grade, so I was 10. Anyway, the third year in was the worst. I did a lot of terrible things not only to myself, but to others. I really regret it, but I’m not going to get into it. By the forth year I was comfortable wearing short sleeves if I needed to (ie. foods class). It was my first year of high school, so having a whole bunch of people I didn’t know see my scars was terrifying, but I got through it. That year was also really tough because I had to get used to having multiple classes and exams, which was very stressful. I’m now five years in and trying to seriously recover for the first time. I made it 3 months over the summer (which is the longest I’ve ever made it) but ended up relapsing the first week back to school (teachers are shitty). Overall, the third year was the worst. I didn’t care at all about anything, whether it be my health or my grades. I had multiple suicide attempts and am left with the scars and trauma to pay for it. Now, I have an amazing group of irl and online friends who support me so much and care deeply about me. I’ve also taken up hobbies that I really enjoy and that are a great distraction as well as finding a small amount of youtubers that really keep me going. I’ve never felt so loved and I think that’s really what I was missing when I started shing. I have a shit ton of scars that I’ll never get rid of and will never be able to hide, but I can’t let that stop me from my dreams. I can do this. You can do this. We all can fucking do this! ♥️♥️ Stay strong

[@cookiechaina1238]

Oh that’s a bit longer than I intended oops I’m sorry please don’t feel obligated to read all that shit

[@laurettadelmar2781]

It's really hard to listen to this cos I am/was in the position of Alice

[@lilycollier4234]

Lauren Ogilvie though I know I am just another person in a comment section, please feel free to message me if you would like to discuss or just even to chat. If not, I also totally respect that. ❤️

[@laurettadelmar2781]

Lily Collier thank you. Well my experience with this is my friend went to my schools 'house achievement' crying and told them then I had to be pulled out of lessons only to be screwed over by my school about it for 2 months which intensified my anxiety and depression then all they could offer me was the school nurse who was rubbish. Plus I tried to talk to people who understood (coincidently also self harmers) who at the end of their recovery told me I had made them worse. To this day I haven't told anyone (other than you) that they actually made me worse and I probably wouldn't be in this mess now if it wasn't for them. Moral of the story, talk to someone you can trust and who has no connection to what you're going though 💜

[@pinkunicorn278]

Just like Lily said, if you need to talk to anyone, I'll be there for you. Bless you xx

[@lilycollier4234]

Lauren Ogilvie would you like to chat further privately?

[@laurettadelmar2781]

Lily Collier I'm ok but thank you anyway. You're such a kind person. I wish I had people like you in my life x ☺️

[@HannahWasNever]

I stopped November 26th 2012. Almost 4 years now!

[@rebeccaamelia5832]

HannahWasNever congrats xxx

[@madelynhatfield2740]

HannahWasNever That is so amazing! This is very late and I hope you stayed clean and all so I believe in you!

[@katiemcmillin9763]

HannahWasNever that's amazing... Does it ever get easier?

[@lilydawson1556]

HannahWasNever i hope it is nearly 6 years

[@phoeberose8124]

I have a lot of friends that self harm, I don't know how to help anyone have any advice ??

[@RegularOddball]

that's what the video is about isn't it??

[@phoeberose8124]

tasminemma sorry I haven't watched to while video yet 😅

[@katieishere3187]

phoebe jones tell a teacher, it can be completely anonymous and you've done well ok. I've had to do this for many many friends sadly but all my friends are still my friends and they are ok now. Yet be cautious ofc so yeah follow Emma's advice here about maybe naming no names at first, it's absolutely brilliant coming from someone who has done this. :)

[@Kat-lm7cc]

make sure they know youre there for them x

[@alice_elizabeth_1497]

Tell a teacher but don't feel the need to mention names. Then they are aware that someone in your yeargroup is struggling and can give you advice from a different perspective

[@sophialucena5289]

Emma, your talk channel is my favourite thing. You seem like such a lovely and sensible person.

[@oliviahaslam8309]

I've been clean for a while now. I've also been getting professional help. Life has it's ups and downs, and you can never tell what it'll throw at you. All you can do is try, it's all anyone can do. And even though I'm getting help and I'm currently clean, it is still a constant struggle. It's not easy asking for help, took me 4 years to do so. It's one of the most difficult things I've experienced, to break down my walls and open up about something so sensitive. But it is definitely worth it. If you need help, get it. There is always another option, a better way to deal with what you are going through. You are worth it, no matter what you or others have led you to believe. Emma, thank you so much for making this video xx love ya

[@ll-zp4lx]

I currently have a friend who self harms. In January, she is moving schools and I’m super worried about her

[@tianaward7181]

ive been clean for 72 days! ^-^

[@rrabbix]

Congratulations! :)

[@tianaward7181]

Rrabbix Thank u so much! ^-^

[@ameliejohn2650]

keep fighting :)

[@papychull]

Stay strong, we know it's hard but you can do it!

[@tianaward7181]

thank u! ^-^

[@SwimSweetie100]

Self harm is not equal to suicidal. It's a complex issue on its own

[@LauDevaux]

Watching this and reading these comments makes our hearts feel all warm and fuzzy... everyone should be so proud of themselves. Like if you agree!!

[@sjipad6840]

your situation was the exact same as my current one. my best friend is really struggling, & this video was honestly the wake up call I needed. until I find an adult I can trust about it, I think I'm gonna call some helplines and ask for advice, or do what you said and tell a teacher and just not mention his name... anyway, thankyou so so much for this. ❤️

[@alexjames9374]

been clean since feb. I'm not usually one to keep track of milestones like this but it's nice.

[@lauren1828]

Good job, stay strong

[@emma_dn6568]

In my school they have to tell the parents if they know their child is self harming

[@oliviapowell86]

In my school they tell you it's up to you if you want to tell them but then they go and tell them anyway

[@emma_dn6568]

and then they are surprised that we didn't tell them

[@alannahx6641]

i'm talking to a teacher at my school and he won't tell anyone unless i'm in much danger, like if i tell him that i want to kill myself then he will tell my parents but he won't tell my parents unless i give permission... which i'm going to do soon...

[@emma_dn6568]

good luck !!

[@thatstheteaa1213]

Same and I don't know what to do to help my friend

[@feebeeshea439]

Two of my bestfriends used to self harm, and I remember to one of them I sent Luke's video Cut Cake x

[@alexgraham3267]

Phoebe Fane yeah I remember that video

[@ellaroberts3423]

im currently in a psychiatric unit for the second time for various mental illnesses and self harm. my first admission was 3 months, and so far this one has been 6. it gets better, is all i can say. you're all extremely brave, and i wish for you all to carry on ((love you emma)) xx

[@dominique8230]

Thank you so much for this video Emma. Most of the videos about this topic are usually from the perspective of the self harmer and even though a lot of them do cover the "what to do if my friend self harms"-topic, it is still done from the perspective of the self harmer (which is still an important perspective to talk about, don't get me wrong). But I think you are the first person I've seen talking about this from the perspective of the bystander who feels so completely and utterly helpless in that situation and is, as you said, completely torn between what to do in this situation. Now, obviously I don't want to pull the attention away from the self harming friend who very surely needs help, but I think it is also important to acknowledge, that as a friend of a self harmer, you also have quite a bit of mental pressure on you that is not healthy in the long run. I have been in your situation and I know that this state of "what if something happens and I didn't say anything" can be horribly, horribly bad. I guess that is all that I wanted to say. Thank you for speaking up about this topic!

[@piperroser7094]

8 mouths cleen for me🙂💟 and glad👌🏼

[@piperroser7094]

huh haha so confused but thanks cotton

[@bethanydiamondlake1911]

Congrats piper!!! Keep on fighting!!! ❤️😊❤️

[@dunwithyou1221]

What if I'm that friend. I have lightly self harmed before. But what if I'm that friend that doesn't self harm, but is severely depressed. Or has anxiety so bad she can barely get out of bed. I'm that friend who hates them self. That friend that always smiles. To hide that pain. She shuts the world out and cries herself to sleep. Every. Single. Night. What if I'm THAT friend.

[@letsdisappeartogether5941]

Me and my friend are both self harmers, at camp we both brought tools and someone saw our tools in my bag and took it to the teacher so now that friend hates me because she thinks I told our teacher.

[@marynaswanepoel6886]

Thank you so much for making a video on this. No one talks about it and it should be a more brought up topic especially in schools.

[@RedrumBri]

Thank you for speaking out about this. Not enough people talk about what to do in these situations. You're definitely helping at least one person with this video.