Set 3, Game 7 - No More Jockeys [19.11.20]

[@NerdCubed]

Genuinely gasped at Key's opening play. One of the greatest players of all time.

[@345tom]

If only Key remembered the categories! He's played some great ones this set.

[@Moozic231]

He's gotta be top 3 for sure, I really don't mind him.

[@onehiccup]

Love it when Dan states the obvious.

[@rowanaboat4523]

He’s definitely in the top 3

[@gracelandsux]

WHAT WHY ARE YOU HERE

[@paulquaife7974]

The joy in keys face when 2 sons is mentioned to the anguish of 'and 1 daughter' was priceless

[@Tea41]

Needs to be a gif

[@daupomatic]

Well but cruelly played by Watto there.

[@benjaminodell1171]

"I might have been in the car behind you" "Is that what you get when you eat potatoes? " "Carbohydrates"

[@OhhhSnap93]

How they got from A to B there... Mindblowing

[@morriboy85]

Admittedly, I'm new to all this, but... Overhearing Key politely ordering his room-service beer was a seminal moment for me.

[@LukeAngusAnimator]

I was just happily watching when suddenly some lemon juice drips on my head.

[@Achronos100]

The video started and I was like, "Whoa, this music is way too dramatic for a comedy game." Then Key just drops a fucking atom bomb of a category and I thought, "No. Appropriate."

[@BethanyLowe8773]

Need more volume on the old music these days

[@samc7634]

I think we can all agree this game is, your friend and mine, an instant classic.

[@coneyfan]

When you think about it, yes.

[@nolanreed7090]

This below the line person concurs.

[@Megamaduo]

It's one of the great games.

[@Nabend1402]

Why did they interrupt that kickass game of kitchen conversions to play that weird other game?

[@smlozer]

I think I remember your profile picture (TISM). you're Henning from James acasters Lahnsteineringa!

[@simonbennett9687]

What a phenomenal film. Starts with a bomb being dropped, and then after we’ve all forgotten about it, it goes off, right at the end. So narratively satisfying. A+++++++ would watch again.

[@goawayimsleeping509]

It's sort of like Chekov's Gun, isn't it? Chekov's Jockey.

[@goawayimsleeping509]

Chekov's category!

[@Rosalind-butNotThatOne]

@@goawayimsleeping509 I greatly appreciate you replying to your own comment 3 months later

[@goawayimsleeping509]

@@Rosalind-butNotThatOne And I greatly appreciate you replying to this one 5 months later (you fucking nightmare).

[@PaddyRoon7]

"Yeah it's lucky that you got your TV format" Surprisingly brutal from the usually mild mannered Watto. Don't mind it actually.

[@Sofia-nc1tu]

Yeah, I was thinking that! I think since Game 5 they've all gone a bit feral.

[@bearhustler]

He's right, I don't mind kitchen conversions.

[@jamie_rides]

I'm yet to be converted to it.

[@keytostart7053]

WOOOAHHH kitchen conversions!

[@Kimberton149]

Perfect format for Radio 4 I reckon.

[@carrots1550]

If I have a tablespoon of marzipan, how many grams of beetles is that?

[@keytostart7053]

@@carrots1550 well in the USA, the equivalent of the Food Standards Agency have an actual system worked out, for every single fresh food or processed food item, they have a set % of which it can contain bugs. For instance, there can be up to: 450 insect parts (less than whole specimen) 9 rodent hairs 2% insect fecal/discharge matter Per 16oz box of dry spaghetti. So you could genuinely find an answer to that question 🤔

[@Shmiguelly]

"Nobody we've had before" WHAT AN ABSOLUTE POWER PLAY

[@armcie5080]

I would enjoy an early call of "no more humans"

[@MsKatyDod]

We all knew that if anyone were ever to play that category, it would be Key. Game changing!

[@matthewread2509]

@@MsKatyDod Then on his next go, he'd forget, play a human and argue the definition of human when challenged.

[@rkah6187]

And with naming Penelope Pitstop as well! Legendary

[@evfahy7183]

Below the line love a bit of kitchen conversions.

[@fayrechild1696]

Sometimes we see silhouettes, and sometimes we see colours

[@leviz7244]

and the Oscar goes to Watto for dramatic reading of Abdi Bile's wiki. runner-up comedy writing award goes to the Nicki Swift writer whose lockdown writing project was "this is why jon hamm doesn't have any children"

[@no_more_jockeys_tribute]

8:15 Plato has been played before. In set 2 game 5 (one of the camping games), Plato was played by Watto, with the category "No more names rhyming with vegetables", exemplified with "Plato, potato".

[@RenewedRS]

Plato, Banksy. I had a feeling Rudy Giuliani and Aunt Sally have been played before too.

[@no_more_jockeys_tribute]

@@RenewedRS They haven't been played in set 1 or 2, not sure about set 3. Aunt Sponge was played in set 2 game 4, that's the closest one I know of.

[@RenewedRS]

@@no_more_jockeys_tribute was there some other worzel gummidge reference then? maybe worzel himself but I thought Aunt Sally had been said. Is there a spreadsheet out there with all the rounds written out?

[@no_more_jockeys_tribute]

@@RenewedRS There's another thread here started by ASJ27 discussing a spreadsheet. Possibly there is one, but otherwise we're thinking about making one. I have a lot of the stats but not all of them.

[@charlesbrookes959]

"you used to get him a long time ago actually"

[@sebzilla89]

When you think about it, this was a very good game. The symmetry of the winning challenge being on the first named category is particularly pleasing.

[@slothconnell3579]

Absolutely beautiful phone manner from Key, blown away by it, what a gentleman.

[@essentialatom]

Looking forward to an eventual return of "Key to start". Keys start things.

[@llkats]

oh wow I just got this joke

[@JentPlays]

Great opening category, a lot of fun. The whole "No more men, then no more women, checkmate" thing is interesting (outside of the existence of NB people), I think to counter that, you could have a self-destruct rule. If a player genuinely believes that, after a category was issued, there are no more valid plays, they can say so, and it's up to the other player to name one final person. If the person who set the category cannot think of anybody, or they think of someone who is challenged, then the self-destructing player wins. Otherwise, the category setter wins. It would keep the spirit of the game, which is narrowing categories but still keeping a sliver of people available. Of course, when you really think about it, I find it likely this rule will never come up anyway.

[@lanadragonfly]

- No more men - No more women - Self-destruct rule: name one more - Banksy. (Can't be proven they are either)

[@paulquaife7974]

No more fiction No more real

[@petedi-murro1826]

@@paulquaife7974 God

[@petergilbert7106]

@@paulquaife7974 King Arthur... possibly real, possibly fictional? Would that work?

[@TiddlywinksVonSmythe]

You can also avoid the "no more men, no more women" thing by naming children or animals or genderless fictional characters

[@MalcolmPowder]

I normally try and make a joke in the comments of a NMJ film. But today I'm just going to say that I absolutely love it and genuinely look forward to it every week. Thanks to everyone on all sides of the line.

[@blackmoon9793]

I've heard what you had to say, and I enjoyed it.

[@MalcolmPowder]

@@blackmoon9793 Over.

[@thisgirlfromderby]

It's barely an hour in to the working day and I've just seen a phone being put on some bottles. I'm going mad for this shit.

[@jpquinn91]

A truly great game. Was sure Banksy had been said before. Below the line doing the work on that one.

[@rkah6187]

I'm pretty sure that Plato was mentioned before as well and Mark could've been challenged on it very early on.

[@BodywiseMustard]

Before the line, too.

[@jamie_rides]

"Don't call it a cheating device."

[@mathhits]

This was a true BTL treat. A whole new pre-game game, one of the best opening gambits of all time, and a song about silhouettes which is still in my head. When you really stop to think about it, I don’t mind it at all.

[@ohemgeeorgia]

the mark watson lighting saga continues

[@slynch5327]

The thing about Watto is sometimes he’s in silhouette and sometimes he’s in colour

[@ohemgeeorgia]

@@slynch5327 i don't mind it actually

[@RefnRes]

Mark Watson bought a load of burner phones for when he walks off camera.

[@drwoo6090]

Burner phones...on the stove! Geddit? 😀

[@stacks13uk]

The delivery from Watto for the number of kids check was perfect. Spat my tea everywhere - but I don’t mind it.

[@gallifreyFNM]

I just want to know how and why Mark's mum knows Banksy

[@BodywiseMustard]

Quite a few people know him. He's just a dude in his 50s

[@rupertfranklin9816]

This game started strong and just got better and better. An absolute classic

[@gladtobeangry]

I've just taken out a monster from my pants and slung it at the screen is a phrase I will be utilising in future.

[@Jesse-lv2yo]

Key coming in HOT to start this game. Four minutes in and I'm already feeling like this episode is an instant classic.

[@Jesse-lv2yo]

Also I've never been the biggest Watson fan but he's growing on me as well. Loving his enthusiasm and jingles this episode.

[@timknight4769]

Great delivery from Watson with the Sibling Stinger. Razor sharp execution

[@enbyennui]

The episode that spawned the most excellent of KZbin show companion websites

[@JtheKiwi]

Wow. Massive opener from Key.

[@BraveSirNivag]

I've always wondered how it would go if this was a rule! Only just started the vid but very excited to see how this goes :)

[@froghornleghorn]

This episode brought about musical classics like: "Whooah Kitchen conversions" "Sometimes we see silhouettes and sometimes we see colours" "My watch is the same size as my head" And "pour it on your head" The no more jockeys EP, out soon...

[@coneyfan]

With a bonus track "Whoops, I'm unconscious for most of my life!"

[@nolanreed7090]

The Japanese limited release will feature “Your hand is touching your one!”

[@wouterwijbrands2404]

Including the absolute sing-along banger “In it goes - yum yum yum”

[@PieceBoxHeid]

"Buck wheat noodles, here's the man for you..."

[@froghornleghorn]

These are all absolute bangers! I can't believe I missed them first time around.

[@Kimberton149]

Lovely to see that once the monster was withdrawn from his pants, Key held the most polite phone convo I've ever heard. Don't mind it.

[@no_more_jockeys_tribute]

1 K Penelope Pitstop - NM people we’ve had before (successful plays) 2 W Jonathan Van-Tam - NM forms of transport within name 3 H Loch Ness Monster - NM Scots 4 K Jane Porter - NM people photographed in jungle 5 W Plato - NM dead 6 H Bryson DeChambeau - NM names with 3+ components (bits to their name) 7 K Laura Marling - NMP who live in London 8 W Rudy Giuliani - NM repeated vowels in surname 9 H Tommy Tiernan - NMP with 3+ children - W unsuccessful challenge #4 10 K Aunt Sally - NM fictional 11 W Jen Brister - NMP any contestant has met 12 H Bubba Watson - NMP working with balls 13 K Abdi Bile - NM sportsmen H challenge #9 - Key out 14 W Jon Hamm / Allan Lamb - NM food names H unsuccessful challenge #11 / H unsuccessful challenge #9 15 H Banksy - NMP non-birth names - W challenge #1 - Horne out Watto wins

[@dmleach]

When a remarkably inebriated Mark Watson gives you lemons, squeeze them on the people below the line. They don't mind it.

[@PeterCrighton]

As soon as The Planets started blasting, I knew this would be one of the great games. Immediately not disappointed by the first category.

[@ChrisHallas]

"He's got two I's, has he?" "He has yeah, I saw him being interviewed." 😂

[@HitchHitchHitch]

"He's run from the back, of COURSE he's got three kids"

[@claratoch]

Looking forward to the Monster In My Pants pants on the merchandise page.

[@chris9chris99]

Watto:"I am just going to spoon the balls onto them." Alex: "Better" The sheer tenacy of him insisting that these should not be called MEATballs is just fascinating.

[@jackholmes225]

Ye, people seem to have a real problem with that for some reason. Yet no one bats an eye when 'bbq rib' or 'chicken' flavour crisps, are actually vegetarian. Weird.

[@AlexRoseGames]

@@jackholmes225 well it is chicken flavour if it has the flavour of chicken. A vegetarian meatball is not a meat ball.

[@csurname]

"meat-free meatballs" = "balls" is more a mathematical joke than something puritanical or carnivorous. I support meat-free sausages and chicken-flavoured things and all the rest, but "meatballs" is a bad name for a meatless ball.

[@MichaelCoombes776]

It sounds like a distinction his partner The Taskmaster would insist on.

[@jackholmes225]

@@AlexRoseGames a vegy meatball might taste like meat though. Fail to see the difference in my comparison. Crisps and many other product are simply labelled as 'chicken' or 'beef', why's that different to calling a meat flavoured vegetarian ball of food a 'meatball'?

[@gryrabild]

This is going right up there with some of my favourite NMJ games

[@samc7634]

Also I think the new category for BTL should be "No more people who accuse Watto of cheating" I can't keep watching him go through this 😅

[@AlexRoseGames]

Name another

[@JackNobbledy]

“...and one daughter!” Classic NMJ.

[@Tealoafy]

One of the great games thanks to Key. “No more people we’ve had before” gave this game a fresh boost.

[@VideoNozoki]

Excellent game, well played by all. 'Key to Start' with an historic opener.

[@morganonmonday]

Jennifer Schlicht, you absolute legend!

[@hattenkofer]

They should play her next game. No more BTL.

[@EllisThings]

@@hattenkofer name another

[@MisterAppleEsq]

@@EllisThings Nowwhattian Boghog

[@SgtLion]

The whimsy and the great songs and crazy categories and Mark's madness are all flowing freely in this video. Truly one of the greatest!

[@rob_beaumont]

I love Kitchen Conversions! The theme song is so catchy!

[@GooeySquid]

When you think about it, Owl Horne looks a bit like a horned owl

[@puckerings]

The Great Horne Owl.

[@dmleach]

Scientific name Resembilio matthancockus

[@lexo42]

Apologies to everyone in my household who have to put up with me shouting at what appears to be someone else's Zoom calls. Especially this week when I did that... a lot.

[@danielcooper8964]

I did not realise someone was within earshot when I reacted to Key's opener - I wish I had that information at the time, because my family are definitely judging me.

[@petergilbert7106]

Keys opening: Penelope Pitstop (textbook Key I thought), then BOOM! Nuclear strike!

[@dbeightyfive]

Mars by Holst at the start of the game, you know it is going to be an epic, a game for the ages

[@Sofia-nc1tu]

Yes, and then appropriately it was Venus when Watson was dancing.

[@Shift8YawnsShift8]

Some great banter in this one. Key totally knew the Banksy challenge as soon as Horne said him, then was trying (not super hard) to avoid obviously giving it away to Watto. I wasn't sure on Banksy myself, I know he came up before but could only remember when his category was not accepted on the grounds of job gloves. I'm glad Watto got it, and that Key knew it. Even if they're pissed 50% of the time, some of it sticks.

[@themilkmon]

Oh The Planets! One of my favorite suites by, when you think about it, none other than, your friend and mine: Gustav Holst.

[@AbsoluteTwoddle85]

I would have put money on Watson being first out with his added culinary distractions at the beginning. Just goes to show you can't stifle a natural flair for the game. In the same way I imagine Ronnie O'Sullivan would still wipe the floor with an opponent whilst discussing the finer points of his proposed barn conversion with a contractor, gripping his phone using his shoulder.

[@Chalkie219]

I'm arriving below the line earlier and earlier each week, im gonna be above the line one of these shows

[@theory118]

'Your hand's touching your one'. 10/10. What an episode!

[@RustyBucket2]

This feels like the closest we'll ever got to a NMJ Musical episode. I don't think the Cesspit Gems will mind it.

[@tom.lox.ralphs]

I don't think you can deny it that - when you REALLY think about it - your friend and mine, No More Jockeys, has become the new thing I fall asleep to.

[@ben1210]

John "I think therefore I" Ham Edit: I'm sure Key has blurted out Aunt Sally at some point

[@daupomatic]

I think you're right about Aunt Sally!

[@KeyboardAttacker]

That Banksy move !! Incredible

[@bondfool]

It wouldn’t be NMJ without Watto having terrible lighting at some point.

[@iamdanna9621]

One of the great games...

[@damarismalpica2335]

This is the best part of my week, and I have a pretty good life.

[@VideoNozoki]

I remember when Jon Hamm was on Travel Man with Richard Ayoade, and when Hamm was on 'The Last Leg' so I thought you might have crossed paths at some time. Jon Hamm was also on the Graham Norton Show, "Toast of London"(TV series) with Matt Berry (IT Crowd), "Black Mirror"(TV series). Hamm was in "Good Omens" (with David Tennent and Michael Sheen), Hamm was in "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret" (which also had Sara Pascoe, John Bishop, James Doherty, Peter Serafinowicz, Matt King (Peep Show)). Jon Hamm did collaborations with Charlie Brooker, Mark Chappell, Alan Connor, and Shaun Pye; also in "A Young Doctor’s Notebook" opposite Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter).

[@drwoo6090]

And don’t forgot that stunning performance as “ Gorgeous guy at bar”, in Ally McBeal!

[@coldandabsurd]

Do not pigeonhole him.

[@VideoNozoki]

@@coldandabsurd : So true! So true! (thank you for reminding me!) Well played.... TOTAL respect (to YOU AND MR. Hamm)!!!!

[@andytierney3783]

Jon Hamm in the Jungle is my favourite Guns and Roses song.

[@CoralBrown5]

Humungous thank you for making this lockdown bearable, lads 👌

[@neilmeadowcroft7569]

The irony of not knowing a hooved animal by saying "seen a tortoise wearing Adidas GAZELLE?" Classic Key.

[@jonhozier3418]

I don't mind Kitchen Conversions.

[@johnjames2397]

When you wake up, have a good old think about it, it's no more jockeys day... mate.

[@patch3002]

oh my god that's an incredible start

[@MatONeill]

Just incredible play from all three of these athletes. They're at the peak of their game and I haven't been this excited since Bulla went on Parky.

[@BodywiseMustard]

33:53 Finally some recognition for us guys behind the line

[@Rateus_Johanson]

Ooh, Mars. Very foreboding. @18:30 Oh, I think we've got on to Jupiter. Nice, that's my favourite one.

[@rob_beaumont]

One of the great games!

[@Shinare73]

Absolutely fantastic Best game ever! I laughed so hard and often, I started coughing.

[@BethanyLowe8773]

Covid??

[@Shinare73]

@@BethanyLowe8773 no, just hilarious 😂

[@izzyduffy760]

I think the most shocking part of this match was thinking people don’t know famous Scientologist, Emmy award winning Elizabeth moss

[@MsKatyDod]

I was surprised by that too. Only reason I could think of was that she might not be as famous in the UK as in the US. (where I am.)

[@ym10up]

I think Watto meant that he's going with Moss because if he went with someone no one knows, i.e. his personal friend, then it wouldn't be a fun game for the viewers

[@VideoNozoki]

(Elizabeth Moss) who was on "The West Wing", "Mad Men", "Top Of The Lake", "Us", "The Invisible Man", "The Handmaid's Tale" - with here multiple Golden Globes, Emmys, BAFTA Award, Empire Award, Screen Actors Guild Awards, among others... Elizabeth Moss is pretty famous. She's played on Broadways & the West End, (she holds dual British - American citizenship too)

[@izzyduffy760]

@@MsKatyDod as a 21 year old brits who’s watch The West Wing, Us and The Handmaids Tale, I don’t think that can be true! Made they three of them are just not big fans of American dramas😂

[@dmleach]

@@VideoNozoki Don't pigeonhole her

[@VideoNozoki]

ONE OF THE GREAT GAMES!

[@SethKoren]

Absolutely brilliant stuff guys, as always. Glad I got here before you decided you had let enough people see the video and took it down. Has really helped me weather lockdown.

[@bengleiss9416]

Missed these for the last few weeks and on a catch up. What a game!

[@ianlacey]

Absolutely loved the first rule!!!! Been waiting for it.

[@SteRDLK]

"I've got Ricardo Fuller etched into my frying pan"

[@kejones449]

Absolutely LOVED this week!

[@agnieszka9806]

Horne's pillow looks like a cover of Key's new book. (19:34)

[@JackFlash23]

Tim’s dance and Jungle call at 15:40 is one of the sexiest things ever.

[@slg5135]

A game for the history books. And, it further illustrates that Key is the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon of the No More Jockeys universe. No, he didn't win. But, perhaps, to him, it's more about the skill and beauty of the game. Bravo, men. Bravo.

[@noe9250]

The sheer energy Watto is bringing to this game is refreshing to see

[@kephrensherry1734]

I actually think Tim has got Tigger as one of his pals...Mark. Alex more like Piglet and occasionally Eeyore, whilst Tim... your friend and mine...Pooh.

[@VideoNozoki]

Mark Watson: (not sure about Elizabeth Moss) who was on "The West Wing", "Mad Men", "Top Of The Lake", "Us", "The Invisible Man", "The Handmaid's Tale" - with here multiple Golden Globes, Emmys, BAFTA Award, Empire Award, Screen Actors Guild Awards, among others... Elizabeth Moss is pretty famous. (she holds dual British - American citizenship too)

[@MsKatyDod]

I wasn't absolutely certain, but I thought she had been played in a previous game. Banksy, I definitely knew had been played before. (I'm in the US and had never heard of Banksy before I started watching NMJ.)

[@SuperSatanicSaint]

@@MsKatyDod Funny you say that because the only Banksy I have ever seen is in San Francisco.

[@RenewedRS]

@@MsKatyDod that's incredible you haven't heard of Banksy

[@ChrisBillig]

Is it up to us to start a No More Jockeys database?

[@jenelaina5665]

I mean,

[@lizziemartin4208]

can all these musical numbers be uploaded to spotify please

[@damienmcv4248]

Kitchen conversions! I don't mind this.

[@lukobb]

One of the great games

[@nelsondias9989]

So who are the other founding fathers? Great game by the way! Love how combative Tim has become and it was an epic exit. Watts was deserving winner tho.

[@Flike245]

The Banksy win was a classic. Found video evidence of the man wearing job gloves.

[@veragoudie2310]

Is this the first time an episode has featured a song from Holst's The Planets in the background? I only know it from Bluey but it made this episode of NMJ all that more emotionally impactful. Well done.