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Sexual Rejection: What to Do When Your Spouse Doesn't Want to Have Sex

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RelationShots

RelationShots

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 1 600
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
What have you found to get in the way of a healthy sexual relationship in your marriage?
@GhanabaKwaku
@GhanabaKwaku 3 жыл бұрын
When communication reduces (for whatever reason), sex decreases.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
@@GhanabaKwaku Start talking a lot then I guess 🤣
@darronwoods9004
@darronwoods9004 3 жыл бұрын
Children, financial stress, self esteem. Conflict, lack of communication
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
@@darronwoods9004 that will do it
@GhanabaKwaku
@GhanabaKwaku 3 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots Hahahaha, Pastor E; if only yapping and communicating were the same thing.
@kpopclutch4901
@kpopclutch4901 3 жыл бұрын
Can't believe this is a thing. I always thought once your married it should get better not worse with more access to each other. Boy was I wrong🤦🏽‍♂️
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
Haha. A few more distractions and issues involved once you get married. Dating gives us a false view of relationship
@josecarlosxyz
@josecarlosxyz 2 жыл бұрын
it does not
@bbalumbu
@bbalumbu 2 жыл бұрын
Wrong!!
@clipkut4979
@clipkut4979 2 жыл бұрын
Diversification lowers risk, in EVERY aspect of life. By getting 100% of your sexual access from 1 source only, if something is wrong with it (emotionally, physically, or just natural sex drive decline), you lose ALL the sexual access. That's why men are biologically designed to spread the seed, nature wants diversification as a strategy. To get out of a no sex unsustainable situation you have to face grate punishment from a financial and stability point out view. If she demands to do a job "exclusively" (sexual access) but then is uncapable of doing it consistently and up to standards, she must step down and let someone else do what she can't. Especially if she cares about the satisfaction and happiness of her partner.
@dianababy6368
@dianababy6368 2 жыл бұрын
Wrong 😑
@AyuJogaComigo
@AyuJogaComigo Жыл бұрын
Piece of advice for anyone in here. Don't humiliate yourself. Don't beg, it's not your fault. Try talking and all, but if the person refuses to address the problem and see that you're hurting, then you need to move out, for your own sanity. He/she will not change.
@charsta2072
@charsta2072 Жыл бұрын
I appreciate this comment I hate myself every time I look in the mirror
@blessethishe
@blessethishe Жыл бұрын
Some folks may not be humiliating themselves. They may be begging etc to grasp a broader understanding of why the partner is uncooperative. Also it may be they does that because they soon is about to back out the relationship, so its like a protest to save everything before calling a quits.
@algraham9003
@algraham9003 Жыл бұрын
There is no reason in hell that anyone should have to beg for sex. If they are not giving it to you, they could be giving it to somebody else. She should give you some answer as to why she does not want sex with you. Maybe it is time to move on.
@lv67890
@lv67890 Жыл бұрын
Wow so pelvic floor collapse, exhaustion, hormonal imbalances, etc., mean nothing when you have your precious hard on. Whatever. Goes to show men treat women like utilities. We get sick and can’t make you come or do your dishes and you get another one. We are not human to you.
@PeteNice29
@PeteNice29 Жыл бұрын
Actually, they do if they're the problem. Stand your ground.
@moonshoes11
@moonshoes11 3 жыл бұрын
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it.
@CIVILDEFENSEBUNKER
@CIVILDEFENSEBUNKER 2 жыл бұрын
Yup
@djdigital3806
@djdigital3806 2 жыл бұрын
Correct
@danny6466
@danny6466 2 жыл бұрын
Lololololo
@lorenzoburton3974
@lorenzoburton3974 2 жыл бұрын
Wow 😂
@leodanbmx
@leodanbmx Жыл бұрын
You know what, that makes sense lmao
@danifem
@danifem Жыл бұрын
It’s not only not having sex. It’s no intimacy at all. and always the same, “no not now, but I do love you” its a joke at this point…
@TheDrums4lifee
@TheDrums4lifee 10 ай бұрын
Exactly where I'm at man, always a reason not to which is bs, cause I could be miserable about somthing or a really bad head ache and if my gf wanted sex I'd still have it np at all, so idk, just sucks, like you can have sex with other people so you wanna have sex with your gf or wife but then she doesn't give it to you, so it's very complicated and frustrating I think lol
@michaellatuff3550
@michaellatuff3550 6 ай бұрын
That is exactly what I’m going through no sex but I still love you WTF does that mean ?
@kalivollmar
@kalivollmar 5 ай бұрын
@@michaellatuff3550honestly as a woman i’m experiencing this go where it’s i don’t want to but i still care about you and i really truthfully don’t know what it’s all about
@cchron1063
@cchron1063 4 ай бұрын
@@michaellatuff3550 Did you ever ask her why she didn't want sex? I know this may seem obvious but you'd be surprised.
@majorzot3851
@majorzot3851 4 ай бұрын
I’d be good with that. And good with those responses in return. To her eventual advances: “No, not now. But I do love you, too”. Hopefully, if she’s not too dim, she’ll realize …
@slumdogjay
@slumdogjay Жыл бұрын
I’ve walked away from relationships when they start withholding sex. It’s cruel to hold out on your partner.
@aniya_hill1922
@aniya_hill1922 Жыл бұрын
Ooh. So this happened multiple times.I wonder What the common denominator is 🤔
@slumdogjay
@slumdogjay Жыл бұрын
@@aniya_hill1922 Mainly with my last partner.
@TomikaKelly
@TomikaKelly Жыл бұрын
Is it possible that you weren't pleasing your partner and as a result sex became less valuable to them?
@slumdogjay
@slumdogjay Жыл бұрын
@@TomikaKelly I did speak to her about it and she said she just didn’t have a high sex drive. We had only been seeing each other a couple of months. She wanted to be in a relationship but didn’t see sex as an important part of it. So I walked away before things got too complicated.
@Hoffmanpack
@Hoffmanpack Жыл бұрын
@@TomikaKelly so they are a prostitute beacuse sex has a value. I thought it was a gift ? A necessity
@nickgarcia4988
@nickgarcia4988 10 ай бұрын
There is almost nothing that hurts more as a man than sexual rejection from your spouse, I know first hand. Work 40+ hours/week, stay with our son, clean, help her in anything she needs, try and be loving throughout the day, stay up waiting for her to maybe be ready knowing I will only get maybe 3 hours of sleep and its still not enough. It is devastating and makes you feel completely used
@cdez86
@cdez86 9 ай бұрын
I feel ya.
@prlifter393
@prlifter393 9 ай бұрын
I'm with ya brother. Women want emotionally intelligent men....But at the same time they don't see that for us, it's hard to keep up with the bullshit. Feeling alone in your own house sucks.
@omondiwinnie6859
@omondiwinnie6859 7 ай бұрын
So what about us women who can't get it nomatter how many times we talk about the topic
@prlifter393
@prlifter393 7 ай бұрын
@@omondiwinnie6859 check his hormones and his heart or if there is a sexual deviation.....if everything is right on those three...Either he is fucking somewhere else, or he is just done with the relationship.
@MickeyMouse-672
@MickeyMouse-672 5 ай бұрын
Ok sorry to be that guy, but you shouldn’t be helping and loving your wife just for sex… maybe do it because you want to lighten the load, or because you actually care about her as a person, and as your spouse. Maybe what she really wants is someone that cares, not someone who is going to insincerely “help out” just to get in her pants. Sounds manipulative to me
@dougg4633
@dougg4633 2 жыл бұрын
After 30 years , I'm exhausted. I gave up 2 years ago . I'm angry, frustrated but mostly sad. Beer helps
@phildawtrey5058
@phildawtrey5058 2 жыл бұрын
I agree with you its sad i dont want to be written off for me its a nightmard ,there shoukd be a mens support group ,i need to vent off after whst ive been though
@samclacton
@samclacton 2 жыл бұрын
I'm in a similar boat. 20 yrs in, only reason I'm here is because of my kids. But I wish I'd learn not to even ask. I still ask, get rejected and feel destroyed. Never seem to learn not to go there. 🤬
@awefunbit7881
@awefunbit7881 Жыл бұрын
Yep somewhere between celibacy, necrophilia and pity sex, 30 years
@David-ho6mu
@David-ho6mu Жыл бұрын
And I’m the bastard for asking her. Apparently begging for sex just makes her feel like a failure as a wife - like she’s the worst wife of all time…. And then it becomes about how bad I am…?????
@benransom7451
@benransom7451 Жыл бұрын
I’m in college and been dating this girl since 9th grade but she doesn’t like sex anymore and I want to leave her
@magicskyfairy69
@magicskyfairy69 Жыл бұрын
After getting constantly rejected for sex by my wife, (even yelled at just for asking sometimes), I told her I'm not going to make moves anymore. Even with your wife, a woman is under no obligation to have sex, so if she won't give consent, that's it, game over. And I respect that. I told her that. Then after 7 months of no sex, she complained that our sex life is bad. I told her "well, I told you - any time you want sex, let me know, and we can. I'm done getting rejected by you, so just consider our marriage an open invitation, you take me up on it when ever you feel like it." So now we're up to once every month and a half or so. She got angry that I watch porn, and I told her "look, you have no obligation to have sex me, I've yielded that. But I still have sexual needs, and if you feel no responsibility to do anything about that, that's fine, that's your choice. But I still have that problem to take care of, and I will find a solution to that problem alone."
@Laura-ux8vt
@Laura-ux8vt Жыл бұрын
Try 8 or more years of no sex Won’t have open relationship won’t give me a divorce and she must be with me 24/7 Since 2008 and and off sex then no sex since 2014. It’s more 2023 I can’t get away from her
@natlovell122
@natlovell122 Жыл бұрын
I completely understand, but porn is horrible. Those women in porn are exploited sex slaves. I used to watch porn but it’s just disgusting garbage that desensitized me. I get the sexual needs, but drop porn like 3rd period French.
@magicskyfairy69
@magicskyfairy69 Жыл бұрын
@@natlovell122 nope.
@magicskyfairy69
@magicskyfairy69 Жыл бұрын
@@Laura-ux8vt oof
@Laura-ux8vt
@Laura-ux8vt Жыл бұрын
@@drshehnazparveez3069 what is the breaking point indeed? The man I know stays because he can’t afford a divorce. Says he’s have to live in his car. She in charge of the money and a no sex marriage.
@bobleglob162
@bobleglob162 2 жыл бұрын
I am surprised and relieved in a weird way that there are many women here reporting distress at the lack of sex in their marriages.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
Yep, it goes both ways!
@courtneygriffin3584
@courtneygriffin3584 2 жыл бұрын
Same
@TracyS6309
@TracyS6309 Жыл бұрын
You see the account name is male because it’s under my hubs name and he has made me sooo hurt living in a 15 year sexless marriage. He has been to a doctor 👨‍⚕️ and won’t take medication to help him either. He’s very selfish only thinks of himself. I don’t want material things I want to feel loved 😭 Starting to wonder 💭 if I should have a detective 🕵️‍♂️ or a computer 🖥️/phone electronics expert so I can find out if he’s having some kind of emotional affair 😢
@reneelibby4885
@reneelibby4885 Жыл бұрын
big distress. but after years, I'm over it. sad
@antoinelyons5323
@antoinelyons5323 Жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots it sucks
@hwd7
@hwd7 3 жыл бұрын
Seems marriage is so complicated, I think I will just remain a Bachelor🤷‍♂️
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
Hahaha
@garycantrell4521
@garycantrell4521 3 жыл бұрын
Best thing to do if I had it to do over I would have after the first marriage second marriage worse than first one when it comes to sex
@maverickcustoms-bi5iy
@maverickcustoms-bi5iy 2 жыл бұрын
I'm 24 if I could go back in time I'd tell my 21yr old self to stay single. Just don't bro enjoy yourself
@CIVILDEFENSEBUNKER
@CIVILDEFENSEBUNKER 2 жыл бұрын
Yes stay mgtow , just live her if you have to but don't involve the government in your bedroom.
@CIVILDEFENSEBUNKER
@CIVILDEFENSEBUNKER 2 жыл бұрын
@@garycantrell4521 why would you get married again?? Duh🤦🤷
@eldeguello9154
@eldeguello9154 Жыл бұрын
Sex is the only physical act that is exclusive to marriage. Meaning, if you are married, that means you can only have sex with your spouse. If she decides to take that away, it's over.
@SophiaGraceLove
@SophiaGraceLove 8 ай бұрын
We were married 24 years, separate bedrooms and no sex for over 10 years, 8 years divorced and finding out he is gay.
@eldeguello9154
@eldeguello9154 8 ай бұрын
@@SophiaGraceLove It doesn't matter how old you are or what your situation is, don't give up. You are capable of finding someone if you get out there. But living as an incel has no happy ending.
@cchron1063
@cchron1063 7 ай бұрын
In half the states it's actually a legal obligation to have sex with your spouse and is grounds for divorce legally if one spouse refuses sex. And frankly it should be. No marriage is going to be healthy if there is no intimacy. Now in a long term relationship there will be times when people might temporarily not wanting sex. But if that lasts longer than say three months and it's not for a health issue,there is a problem. I think it is normal to be having sex if your married once a week or maybe twice. But if you get continuesly rejected for months and months it's a very disheartening experience. You get depressed, unmotivated to put any effort into your relationship and if it's happening and there is also no hugging or kissing or any intimacy at all your going to assume cheating is going on.
@gokuhawks14
@gokuhawks14 4 ай бұрын
I'm beginning to think that my spouse is a lesbian. I think she just wanted me to get her 2kids. After that she started to close her legs. We have been married for 17 years and only have slept in the same bed for the first year of marriage.. 95 % of the marriage has me sleeping on the couch 😢
@eldeguello9154
@eldeguello9154 4 ай бұрын
@@gokuhawks14 It's up to you. Live the rest of your life as an incel on the couch with a 100% guaranteed daily dose of rejection, or... Move on. I divorced my wife and now I have a 99.9% chance of rejection every day. That .1% gives me hope that I had totally lost when married. Don't participate in dooming yourself to a life as an incel.
@lewieanderson6579
@lewieanderson6579 2 жыл бұрын
My wife comes up with excuses. It pisses me off but I am just getting used to the rejection. Now I just focus on making my own cash and working to keep myself busy. I told her I'm not happy but just get crickets for answers.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
That’s definitely difficult to feel like she isn’t interested in figuring out how to reengage in this area
@seancaseo84
@seancaseo84 2 жыл бұрын
It's the bait and switch
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
@@seancaseo84 There in lies the problem with sex outside of marriage. Outside of marriage it’s a performance: you want them to think you’re “good”, you feel like you’re competing with other options, people often do stuff they don’t really enjoy…and then you get married and inside of marriage it’s about connection and intimacy. You won’t feel connected doing stuff that isn’t pleasing or you don’t like, etc. Then it feels like the old bait and switch
@sikelelanqodi2569
@sikelelanqodi2569 2 жыл бұрын
She's basically begging you to leave her at this point, grant her wishes
@tardislady9546
@tardislady9546 2 жыл бұрын
Try MAKING THE EFFORT. Try being a good husband. Try PULLING YOUR WEIGHT with housework and childcare. Try LISTENING TO HER, AND TAKING HER SERIOUSLY. Try BEING A CONSIDERATE LOVER. Try SUPPORTING HER DREAMS, AMBITIONS, AND CAREER. Try BEING CARING, BEING ROMANTIC. You men on here think you never have to make any effort, or do anything for a partner.
@p.johnson1
@p.johnson1 2 жыл бұрын
11 years married, last 3 sexless. We get along alright and we do have 2 children. We were twice a week, then once, then over maybe a 6 week period, I attempted and was rejected on three separate occasions. At that point I said "going forward, it is in your court because I can:t be rejected again, it's too painful." That was 3 years ago and now I just don't know what to do and it has totally affected everything about our marriage and I'm sure it's not good for our children seeing this "roommate" situation. I just had to put this out in the world, keeping it in is helping no one and nothing at this point, but it makes you feel numb and then time just keeps passing.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
That’s tough. Is your wife open to getting some counseling to help navigate that situation? It’s often tough to be able to talk about it without one or both feeling attacked, defensive, etc
@p.johnson1
@p.johnson1 2 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots we've seen a couples therapist once and have talked numerous times about going back. I manage a restaurant and she manages an elementary school cafeteria, and with also having two girls (10 and 6) it's hard to find that time. It is such a confidence destroyer and I don't wish it on anyone, but at this point I don't know what to do and we both feel stuck in this platonic arrangement. We never argue, never really have, always been decent with talking things out. And I would never leave her because I do love her and I love our girls, but it has become confusing as to if being together or apart is even the correct course of action.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
@@p.johnson1 If you haven’t seen a sex therapist I would definitely recommend that versus a therapist that isn’t specialized in navigating sexual issues. There are so many different nuances and issues that impact how we view sex that you really need a specialist when that is the key area of concern. Other therapists will look at the obvious things like your emotional connection, past trauma, resentment and unforgiveness, etc but won’t know other things to address
@p.johnson1
@p.johnson1 2 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots I hadn't given that a thought, although in Birmingham, AL it may not be as available as other cities, but I googled it and there seems to at least be a couple of them. I know that with how both of us were raised, we don't want to end up like each of our parents--mine the classic non-communicative type (although great parents to me and my sister) and her's the "hold feelings in until they can no longer be contained and end in divorce after 35 years" type. But yeah, I will definitely look into it, and thank you for responding!
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
@@p.johnson1 You bet. And with virtual counseling now there may even be some options outside of your area via zoom that could help. I’m not an expert in this area but recently have been meeting with a good friend who is a sex therapist to plan our 4 day couples retreat in April that her and I are joint teaching, and some of the stuff she shares and talks about are things I never would have thought of. Very eye-opening and helpful for me and I’ve been counseling couples for more than a decade. That’s why I thought some specializing in that could be very useful. I would just make sure to do some good research because I can also imagine there are some sex therapist with a lot of weird and unhealthy views on sex with the works we live in today.
@chelseacherry5638
@chelseacherry5638 2 жыл бұрын
We aren’t even married but he like never wants to have sex. I’m sick and tired of having to beg for sex, having to beg for any intimacy at all. It’s humiliating to me for how young I am.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
What’s his reason for not wanting to be intimate in any way?
@paintandsipsesh9917
@paintandsipsesh9917 2 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots my boyfriend just makes excuses for everything so it makes me think he’s not commital
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
@@paintandsipsesh9917 might want to really consider if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in
@floatingchimney
@floatingchimney 2 жыл бұрын
@Chelsea Cherry, You look beautiful so it's not your physical attractiveness that's the problem. Good think you're not married - try to rule out any medical conditions oh his first, otherwise ditch him and find your self another men that will put your body (and your mind) on a pedestal.
@adrianortega4303
@adrianortega4303 2 жыл бұрын
@@paintandsipsesh9917 he might be watching to much porn. over 80% of men watch porn and 50% of divorce involves one partner being involved in watching to much of it
@jackwalker1822
@jackwalker1822 2 жыл бұрын
What would I do? Nothing. Stop paying the bills. Stop coming home. Don't touch her. Don't look at her. Don't do anything she asks. Why should I continue to do my part if she is not doing her part? I would try to talk it out first, but if that got nowhere, then this would be my response. I'm sick of men getting the blame for this. Of course there are plenty of cases where it is the man's fault. But I suspect that most of the time it is our laws that let her get away with this.
@tardislady9546
@tardislady9546 2 жыл бұрын
As usual, a man thinks he does not need to make any effort to make sex good for a female partner. MEN need to pull their weight with housework and childcare. MEN need to be considerate ,lovers. MEN need to listen to partners, and take them seriously. MEN need to be truly romantic and caring. MEN need to support a partner's dreams, ambitions, and career. MEN need to make the effort.
@BeardGawd88
@BeardGawd88 2 жыл бұрын
I agree, in any other relationship, work etc if you stop playing your part you get written up. But in a marriage if you do your part as a husband but still don’t get the amount of bedroom fun you want, even after having talks with your wife, if nothing changes than what?? You supposed to just except it? Fuck no!
@yogi2dab
@yogi2dab 2 жыл бұрын
@@tardislady9546 MEN need to make all the effort is the jist of what you said. Typical
@MandEmma7
@MandEmma7 2 жыл бұрын
horrible response.
@scuba6797
@scuba6797 2 жыл бұрын
​@@tardislady9546 I agree with him. Woman always have to blame the guy, sometimes its just the woman who is selfish and puts no effort in. Sometimes its just the woman full stop. Woman always say "IF YOU DO THIS INSERT REASON HERE ILL BE WILLING TO GO ALL THE WAY" I initiate intimacy and romance every day for 16 years! I'm singing to her, chasing her, grabbing onto her, massaging her every day! I make my g/f feel like a 10. I have been so patient. First 2 years 5-7 days a week. Then for a few years once a week. A good 12 years of like once a month some times a few months. I hold all my pain in so to not hurt her. She always makes everything about her. I am usually a selfless person so I don't mind giving a lot but a decade of this treatment I am here desperate in comments. Then after a bunch of weeks after practically begging she'll let me blow her mind away. Of course I tried 100 acts of romance first. But I'm human and need some intimacy. It's like I only get pity sex and its all on repeat. All I can feel is that she is selfish and I can't figure out why she can say I love you but I get rejected multiple times a day. Is she leading me on, and just doesn't want to be alone? It's like I have to hold onto honor and commitment but its killing me how toxic this is. I'm handsome but the person who loves me the most shows zero desire making me feel ugly and unlovable. Feels like friend zoned. I don't know why she can't just make one move. NEVER made the first move. Initiate one act of romance is all I ask but it never comes. I think most people would just say leave but I don't want that. Do I try reverse psychology and completely stop doing every single romance thing, stop making advances? I'm at the point where I think I'm just filling her love tank so I should take away that so she knows how I feel every minute of the day. Let me know what you all think.
@lewieanderson6579
@lewieanderson6579 2 жыл бұрын
At this point we're just roommates.
@TheOzStu
@TheOzStu Жыл бұрын
Don't marry, or cohabitate, and when/if the sexual rejection starts, move on, get another one. Trying to rekindle a woman's interest in you sexually after she has gone off the boil is like a stupid dog chasing it's tail. Once they have left sexually, they have left the relationship. They just haven't told you about it.
@Kpleaides
@Kpleaides Жыл бұрын
Yes this is true, unless they have menopause......yes this is very true.
@taghazoutmoon5031
@taghazoutmoon5031 Жыл бұрын
What about men? I have to beg him for sex and he refuses. He's only 29. Once a week max for 5 minutes. Can go 3 weeks without. I've been feeling really stressed because about to move and we're already disconnected, so how will it work long distance. I'm tempted to cheat out of revenge and because I suspect he could be giving it to someone else.
@TheOzStu
@TheOzStu Жыл бұрын
Not even with menopause. There is lube. And as for libido, women post menopause often don't think uch about sex, until they are warmed up. You find that if they will lay back and let your arouse them, they will become interested and responsive. The thing is the initial urge isn't there until they receive physical stimulation. If they don't allow the physical stimulation to begin the process, they wont feel like sex. But in spite of all that, how much effort does it take to please a man with a BJ or a hand job. I don't feel like it is just a selfish attitude that says I couldn't care less about what my partner wants. Well women expect men to do 1000 things they don't want and aren't interested in, because they like it.
@TheOzStu
@TheOzStu Жыл бұрын
@@taghazoutmoon5031Make cheating the last resort. How about this, ask him what he needs to be horny for you again.......that's if he ever was. If you can't resolve it by talking, then maybe just tell him, you need some action, regular, and it's not negotiable. So, either he can do it, or he'll have to accept some other arrangement. Tell him to take you to a swingers party on a regular basis, or you get a part time bed buddy. Well if you lived near me I'd offer my services.....we could tie him up in a chair in the corner of the bedroom, with a ball gag, afterwards he can clean up.....with his tongue. That is sort of a joke, but believe it or not......these are options. I see a couple who have been together forever, and I'm very sure they are very happy to stay together until they die. She's a nympho, he has no libido Wasn't always that way, but shit happens. So she gets some of what she needs when they come and visit me. Been doing that for them for 10 years. Look at all the options before you cheat...or leave. Outside the box can work.
@scbane
@scbane Жыл бұрын
​@@taghazoutmoon5031I'm going to be blunt, because this happened to me. My first marriage, she gained almost 100 lbs in two years, refused to do anything about it. Told me I had to love her anyway. I was no longer physically attracted to her, tried taking her on hikes and such...nothing. So, I kicked her out of my house, got a no fault divorce, and moved on. Point is, excessive weight gain foes affect how a man views you sexually.
@russme5463
@russme5463 9 ай бұрын
the reason "communication" doesn't really work......people don't wanna hear or say what the real problem is.....
@markdrake2715
@markdrake2715 Жыл бұрын
In my experience, it only gets worse. Marriage is the #1 cause of sexual rejection. You are probably not her 1st choice or she is just settling.
@blessethishe
@blessethishe Жыл бұрын
Its okay to not be the 1st or just settling. The problem is when the partner decides to no longer make sacrifices, then those words are said without speaking, i could do better. Everyone is different and unique, and partners have to invest positive energy in one another to grow their love/relationship. Rejecting, uncooperative, stubbornness is just a few negatives that ruin a good thing that could became bigger and better.
@HeavyHaul51
@HeavyHaul51 Жыл бұрын
Marriage is the #1 reason men don't laid regularly or not at all
@supercatforever
@supercatforever Жыл бұрын
Facts
@Kpleaides
@Kpleaides Жыл бұрын
Yes that's true.....if she dosent have sex with you she's not into you, she's into what you have......she's settled for stuff not you..
@TheOzStu
@TheOzStu Жыл бұрын
This is why I will never again let a woman live with me. I've maintained multiple sex buddy relationships all at once, some spanning 20 years......and we still have great sex when we see each other. They know I have others and I know they do. I don't care. If they start going cold on me, I get my needs met regardless In this day and age men should totally stop apologizing for wanting sex and putting sex as a high priority. And never let a woman put you in a situation where she can dictate when, or if, you get any sexual activity. Stay free and refuse them control.
@billieburgess2075
@billieburgess2075 3 жыл бұрын
What about when it's your husband that does it. It's not just the man that it happens to. I feel more like a room mate and a maid. All I get is i'm tired then goes into talking about a nameless female co worker. When I say something he flips out goes silent and goes to his phone and then goes to sleep. I say he's cheating.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah, it’s definitely not just a man issue, many wives face the same struggle you’re having. Maybe see if he is willing to go talk with a counselor to see if some outside perspective can help you two talk about it in a healthy way.
@billieburgess2075
@billieburgess2075 3 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots I have asked him to go with me as a couple and he said ok but it never happens. We get it free through the VA but he always finds a reason why we can't go. I have pretty much given up, It's been going on for over 5 years. Sadly I am very near the point of throwing in the towel. I love him but I love me more. If that makes sense.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
@@billieburgess2075 That makes sense. It’s tough to maintain hope when you feel like you’re the only one trying
@tammyhall1783
@tammyhall1783 3 жыл бұрын
Been there, done that. I am female and I promise you its worse when a husband rejects wife than a wife rejecting her husband. It tears at your very identity and sense of self worth. A woman might reject a man because shes tired, the kids are sick and keeping her up all night, maybe she is scared of him in bed, yes some men are too rough and leaves a woman really sore. Men don't reject a wife's advances unless he finds her unattractive. Yes, I know thats true because my husband has no attraction for me. I told him I refuse to be his b!@ch in the kitchen, in the house cleaning dept if he cant make me his b!@ch in the bedroom. But God is good. I got someone else on the way.14 years of loyalty for nothing but no more.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
@@tammyhall1783 Rejection either way is painful for sure. I don't know the nature of your relationship so it's possible it's an attraction thing as you suspect or it could be something hormonal or otherwise going on with in. In any case, when you express the hurt of rejection and a desire for sexual intimacy there should be a willingness on your spouse's part to do what is necessary to reengage that aspect of the relationship. An unwillingness to address it just adds to the rejection.
@danavest
@danavest 3 жыл бұрын
Sexual rejection is a cause for divorce
@BadBoy-ez1wc
@BadBoy-ez1wc 2 жыл бұрын
Cause for cheating you mean
@kikinorthington680
@kikinorthington680 Жыл бұрын
Well I’m tired of hearing excuses so cheating might work ?
@BloodyHeck
@BloodyHeck Жыл бұрын
In reality though, it's only a reason for the woman to divorce. If the man does it, he's considered a monster.
@ApriliaRacer14
@ApriliaRacer14 Жыл бұрын
@@BadBoy-ez1wc That is unethical. Better to be honest and split. (Edit: or open the marriage so at least one side is not tortured).
@br8745
@br8745 Жыл бұрын
​@@ApriliaRacer14 I'd argue an open marriage is worse than a spilt. That just makes everything worse for everyone.
@Shannon-w8t
@Shannon-w8t 10 ай бұрын
Wife here.. and it hurts when he rejects me. Only married 6 months. I'm the one who initiates. I've suspected he secretly prefers men.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 10 ай бұрын
Sorry you’re experiencing that rejection. That does hurt. Is he open to counseling to help sort this out. Maybe it’s some other things he’s dealing with
@SaystheTruth3
@SaystheTruth3 10 ай бұрын
Possibly or another woman...
@Shannon-w8t
@Shannon-w8t 10 ай бұрын
@@SaystheTruth3 but I never see him look at women. However, I have seen him turn and look at a man with his shirt off after we passed him.
@Shannon-w8t
@Shannon-w8t 10 ай бұрын
@@RelationShots he's in denial. Can't get help unless there's complete honesty.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 10 ай бұрын
@@Shannon-w8t yeah, hard to address a problem if the person doesn’t acknowledge we got a problem
@House-Atreides
@House-Atreides Жыл бұрын
“Not feeling connected” is an UNOBTAINABLE GOAL! It’s a moving target!… never good enough apparently.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots Жыл бұрын
Does sometimes feel like that! Especially if the other person can’t clearly articulate what they need or want
@justinstansberry7555
@justinstansberry7555 3 жыл бұрын
This is all based on communication, my wife dosent want to talk bout it or make it better. Please do a video on what to do if someone dosent think it is an issue.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
Definitely difficult to improve an area of the relationship if our spouse isn’t willing to communicate about it. Have you asked or been able to identify why she doesn’t want to talk about this area? Embarrassment, past trauma, etc? If she’s open to counseling then maybe she would be more receptive to hear things from a third party.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
@@lacil8895 Sorry to hear you are viewing yourself poorly based on his rejection. Our self worth shouldn’t be tied to the acceptance or rejection of any person because everybody has their own stuff they’re working through
@MG-jc5ko
@MG-jc5ko 3 жыл бұрын
Im in the same situation
@sababajwa93
@sababajwa93 3 жыл бұрын
@@hexn00b52 its not your fault shes obviously a jerk for that. My husband didnt sleep 1 year either ... He used to i think about divorce. If ur gf wants to lose u then she should keep doing this.
@omarreyesortiz5641
@omarreyesortiz5641 3 жыл бұрын
DIVORCE
@adamsears1403
@adamsears1403 3 жыл бұрын
I appreciate your efforts and research but sometimes it's just time to just call it quits. I've tried helping her in her interests, She had no sexual assaults(Thank God), and she refuses to see a Dr. After about the 6th year of marriage she just wants to sit around and have nothing to do with keeping the marriage alive. Time to go.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
That’s difficult to get change to happen when the other person isn’t willing to put in the effort. Sorry to hear you feel stuck
@keishapuryear8180
@keishapuryear8180 3 жыл бұрын
Perhaps she had expectations about the marriage and the reality doesn't measure up. Also women are often disgusted by male behaviors men may find normal or funny. I've heard wives who complain about their husbands hygiene, bathroom habits, lack of romance. All of those things can make it difficult for a woman to be sexually aroused or attracted to him.
@pussydestroyer69285
@pussydestroyer69285 3 жыл бұрын
Did she suffer postpartum depression? The trauma of birth can rlly mess up a woman (which is why I’m probably never having kids)
@noble604
@noble604 2 жыл бұрын
Wow I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s not easy for you, for sure. Is she depressed overall and not interested in other things in life or is she just not interested in keeping the marriage alive? Does she still work at her own appearance and things about herself or did she let it all go concerning herself? Is this a sudden thing? Blessings to you
@tardislady9546
@tardislady9546 2 жыл бұрын
YOU need to make the effort. You expect her to do all the work. When did you last compliment her, or take her out on a date? When did you last truly pull your weight with housework? When did you last try to make sex good for her, and focus on her, not yourself, sexually? When did you last make her feel desired, and sexy?
@leezimmerman5736
@leezimmerman5736 Жыл бұрын
Lot of talk, talk, talk...she says she's not in the mood....EVER....this video was no help at all....she doesn't even care what I'm going through. I'm to earn a paycheck and leave her alone. Talked to gynecologist, a marriage counselor...none of it helped even a little bit. As soon as our daughter is grown and out on her own....I'm GONE...!!!!
@michaelgiancanna-jaume4637
@michaelgiancanna-jaume4637 3 ай бұрын
@@leezimmerman5736 WHY WAIT?? Your daughter is probably MORE AWARE of the shit that you're putting up with, and unless she is a carbon copy of your wife...she feels genuinely bad for you, and will do her utmost to get along without you, in the name of your happiness. DO NOT WAIT, DO NOT HESITATE!! YOUR DAUGHTER WILL BE FINE!! YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU, AND LET EVERYTHING ELSE WORK ITSELF OUT AS IT WILL!! EJECT, EJECT, EJECT!!!
@melawieeinapfel8594
@melawieeinapfel8594 19 күн бұрын
Like someone in the comments suggested: stop paying the bills! And this comes from a woman ..
@rudiwiedemann8173
@rudiwiedemann8173 Жыл бұрын
Let’s start a matchmaking service to pair the frustrated men with the frustrated women in the same area and let their spouses know that this is their “fee” to keep their marriage intact!
@DiovanisCasteurablanco
@DiovanisCasteurablanco 10 ай бұрын
Good one
@Billy-the-Kid
@Billy-the-Kid 6 ай бұрын
Good idea, get on with it.
@pattracey105
@pattracey105 6 ай бұрын
I’ve actually tried to look this up on line - it makes logical sense. But is there more to it - I don’t want sex with you but I don’t want you to have sex with anyone else either.
@Billy-the-Kid
@Billy-the-Kid 6 ай бұрын
@@pattracey105 Well, one cannot have the cake and eat it too. Something has got to give... The intimacy deprived one has the right to have his/her needs fulfilled.
@andynorton5830
@andynorton5830 3 ай бұрын
Where do I join ?
@corbingarrett1206
@corbingarrett1206 Жыл бұрын
It's not just the sex either, it's pretty much all physical contact. Like she'll actually set a timer for when we're touching each other (like cuddling or sitting next to each other watching a movie holding hands ect) and when it goes off, she'll then refuse to make contact for the rest of the day. Makes me feel like a burden and like it's a chore for her to be with me.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots Жыл бұрын
Yeah. That’s difficult when you get timed and then end the connection
@tylerthecreation1877
@tylerthecreation1877 Жыл бұрын
Wtf??? Send her a video of you with another woman and a timer next to her. Show her how long you can go
@drewmack377
@drewmack377 2 жыл бұрын
Im only 23 and been dealing with this for more than 2 years with my relationship. Too young for this.
@TadasRamiuVeidu
@TadasRamiuVeidu 2 жыл бұрын
Run till you yung.
@lorenzoburton3974
@lorenzoburton3974 2 жыл бұрын
Get out now. You are too young
@paulypaychecks3385
@paulypaychecks3385 Жыл бұрын
Did you get out?
@MrAllysonn
@MrAllysonn 10 ай бұрын
If you care about her then have you tried to dissolve the issue?
@drewmack377
@drewmack377 10 ай бұрын
@@MrAllysonn i fixed the issue, sex life increased like crazy. Shes now pregnant
@sontodosnarcos
@sontodosnarcos Жыл бұрын
In other words, just break up and find yourself a new partner. No one is forced to go through this ordeal in life.
@adenise__122
@adenise__122 Жыл бұрын
what an ordeal LOL your comment is psychotic
@Hoffmanpack
@Hoffmanpack Жыл бұрын
Agree
@paulrinker2672
@paulrinker2672 2 жыл бұрын
When your married to a narcissist it's once every 6 months or twice a year.sex was used to punish by withholding or to manipulate to get what they want. I spent 24 years in a relational desert.
@YaHsrael
@YaHsrael 2 жыл бұрын
7yrs I'm saving for my way out, I will tell the judge she can have everything. She's a BW Narc on menopause 🎤👋🏿
@BadBoy-ez1wc
@BadBoy-ez1wc 2 жыл бұрын
Yes
@charsta2072
@charsta2072 Жыл бұрын
I'm in a lesbian relationship with on I'm 23 she's 27 she makes me feel like a discusting monster I have to take pictures of myself naked so I can feel beautiful and remind myself I'm not ugly and deserve to be touched but every time I bring it up she gaslights me making me feel bad....I hate everytime I look into the mirror I want to shoot myself in the face sometimes....but I can't leave...idk I try I want to but I'm stuck I send her my money every direction deposit or she will threaten to bring someone home and cheat on me and I'm so weak and lost..
@eliellaban1105
@eliellaban1105 Жыл бұрын
24 years!!!!! Cheiiiiiiii!!!
@demonsmasheroni7354
@demonsmasheroni7354 10 ай бұрын
​@@charsta2072toxic chemicals in that stream bet there's millions of ladies ECT in your predicament it's a dangerous game tic for tac just remember there 💯% is someone out there that wants you to be safe happy I now what it's like to have that barrel in your mouth but saying that so glad i was woss other wish the 40yr old me wouldn't have my kids my life nothing ending it would have just taken away all the jobs I needed to do for people the mental health system is sht were I am but he'll I'm not on side of road in India begging for water so that is a plus the fact you have dignity in first place is huge plus some body is missing your body don't ever take that away ......
@dekass7965
@dekass7965 2 жыл бұрын
Never thought i will subscribe to a relationship channel..best intro..already got me into the mood. No cap and enjoyed till the end..great presenter as well. No ill intention to waste viewers time!!! Strongly appreciate
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
Appreciate the encouragement and glad you enjoyed. Just trying to remove the hype and provide some help for those interested
@albertsguppyadventure4293
@albertsguppyadventure4293 Жыл бұрын
I dont understand my wife, I do household chores and everything just to be emotionally connected to her but i still get rejection. It really hurts. I often 😕 think about getting divorce as im not happy anymore.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots Жыл бұрын
Have you asked her what things would make her feel more connected and cause her to be more open to sex? Often we are doing a lot of things for our spouse (chores, tasks, working to provide, etc) but these aren’t actually things that connect.
@albertsguppyadventure4293
@albertsguppyadventure4293 Жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots im not sure the last time we talk about this. She said sex is not just on her list. But there was one time i asked her if i can pay another woman to have sex with me for my sexual needs, and that that night she asked me ifwe can have x because she doesnt want me to use another woman. So weird
@bennyhayes4283
@bennyhayes4283 Жыл бұрын
@@albertsguppyadventure4293 Sounds as if she wants to be in control...of you, of your libido/dick.
@Hoffmanpack
@Hoffmanpack Жыл бұрын
Stop doing household chores! Quit being a beta, go get 10 female friends, your wife will be on her knees b hole opened up with a welcome sign
@Klake-bk2dp
@Klake-bk2dp Жыл бұрын
No amount of you doing chores will ever change her so stop doing them.
@Turtle_Zed
@Turtle_Zed 4 ай бұрын
My wife rejected me when I asked for sex on such a regular basis that I eventually stopped asking. So, I now reject her when she wants a kiss and a cuddle at bedtime. I sleep with my back to her and on the occasions she puts her arm around me, I remove it and tell her not to touch me as I’m trying to sleep. I think this sort of rejection upsets her because she has a face like thunder for a couple of days. She hasn’t yet linked the way she feels when I remove her arm with the way I feel when I ask for sex and get rejected. Women never feel they have to apologise. Recently, at bedtime, she got in bed completely naked possibly hoping I would take the bait. I didn’t but I did go to the bathroom to sort myself out manually. When I got back in bed she had put on her pants and pyjamas. I’m amazed at my own self willpower these days.
@puppy969
@puppy969 4 ай бұрын
I have to ask, but did you take the bait once & she rejected you or have you not tried to take it further since she has tried to cuddle you or go to bed naked? I am curious if she is dicking you around or might be trying to reconnect.
@Turtle_Zed
@Turtle_Zed 4 ай бұрын
@@puppy969 That’s a fair question. I’ve not taken it any further. I also don’t know if she is trying to reconnect. I take the view that if she wants sex or is offering sex then she must say so clearly and unequivocally because subtle signs and signals are wasted on me. I’m a left brainer so anything which is capable of being made certain should, in my opinion, be made certain. I suspect she daren’t ask for sex outright for fear of being sexually rejected which would definitely be the case.
@puppy969
@puppy969 4 ай бұрын
@@Turtle_Zed It sounds like that your relationship might be able to be saved. You have both rejected each other & are both hurting. The fact that she is showing affection & getting into bed naked appear to be positive signs. She may realise that she has hurt you but does not have the courage to acknowledge it & apologise. But if her actions are genuine then she is showing courage by being repeatedly turned down. The next time that she puts her arm around you, it might be worth responding in kind & seeing how far it goes without using words. The worst that can happen is she stops at some point before sex happens. Then you can roll over & act unperturbed & go back to rejecting each other. Maybe you both might reconnect & start to mend the relationship.
@Mr211jp
@Mr211jp 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much brother. My wife and I are 6 months married and experiencing different drives. There is past abuse and past pornography use involved so it is complicated. Loved all your points and relate well with the emotional explanation at the beginning. it was hard for us to talk about it on our own so we sat down with a mentor couple and have a plan to schedule it (also saw on your channel). Your channel is a huge blessing to me and my wife as we are starting this marriage journey. Praying for you and the channel man
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
Awesome! Way to go putting in the work early in the marriage. Keep being intentional. You got this!!
@harrisshob5819
@harrisshob5819 2 жыл бұрын
i found out my husband was watching LOTS of porn and never got over it. its traumatizing how much he was watching. a piece of me died that die as well as our marriage. hope you both get passed it
@andrewjones8262
@andrewjones8262 2 жыл бұрын
@@harrisshob5819 I hope you get past it, give the man what he needs, compensate, or let him go.
@joshuacalig3144
@joshuacalig3144 2 жыл бұрын
How's that working out? I'm guessing not good.
@kudusyohanes5816
@kudusyohanes5816 2 жыл бұрын
the same to i have problem with my wife i am too stress about it
@rogerdsmith
@rogerdsmith Жыл бұрын
Even well-known Christian marriage counselors will admit that if there is no sex in the marriage, there’s no purpose for being married. It is the one and only situation where they justify divorce.
@TomikaKelly
@TomikaKelly Жыл бұрын
If the only reason you're married is sex, you may want to rethink marriage altogether.
@moname56
@moname56 4 ай бұрын
Adultery and abandonment are also reasons for biblical divorce. You could put a sexless marriage into the abandonment category.
@michaelgiancanna-jaume4637
@michaelgiancanna-jaume4637 Ай бұрын
@@TomikaKelly WELL..Ms. Kelly...THAT is YOUR OPINION, and you are certainly ENTITLED to it, but PLEASE...KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!! There are folks here trying to find SOLUTIONS from their peers, not BULLSHIT PLATITUDES from an OBVIOUS AMATEUR. DE OPPRESSO LIBER!!
@kurosaki0001000
@kurosaki0001000 Жыл бұрын
Guys it's this simple. Once a woman has trapped you (i.e., marriage or kids), her effort levels in pleasing you will dramatically decrease. Your wife should always be in a constant fear of losing you. If you believe you are trapped and cannot leave due to kids or financial reasons. You have lost.
@Hoffmanpack
@Hoffmanpack Жыл бұрын
So true, it's why forgiving cheating is a permanent failure. She will always believe she can cheat again and get away with it.
@alhernandezsantana212
@alhernandezsantana212 Жыл бұрын
Spot on about past sexual abuse. Sadly, my wife never dealt with that trauma during our relationship until after we separated. I was in a sexless marriage, and it was partly caused by my high level of sexual frustration. I stopped enjoying sex because she would not give me any pleasure and was super passive in bed, boring even. She was molested as a child and forced into sex (read rape) by her ninth grade boyfriend. I didn't know about any of this, especially the latter part, until it was too late and we had already separated. This happened despite my asking her several times during the course of our marriage-- she would simply cut off the conversation or change the subject. Over time, I stopped being sexually attracted to her.
@tagorian
@tagorian Жыл бұрын
Omg. Same story bruv. I’m not separated yet but I know there is some unaddressed sexual trauma, which she has AVOIDED talking to me about it for 10 years now. Result of that ? I’m tired of the rejections. I’m embarrassed. Now I don’t want her favor because sex has always felt like her favor to me. It’s so messed up.
@TomikaKelly
@TomikaKelly Жыл бұрын
Your poor ex wife. I pray she gets the help and counseling she needs to heal from her trauma.
@richardburton5706
@richardburton5706 Жыл бұрын
How do we ever know whether such an explanation is not made up by our wives? I don't mean to be callous.
@ernestmfakudze
@ernestmfakudze 5 ай бұрын
You are right. It's easy for us to get resentful when we feel that we are not getting enough sex. The thing we overlook is that there is always a core reason why our partners are distant from us, and only honest and non blaming communication can unravel the truth. Children change the dynamics of the relationship hugely because it is natural for the mother to give more attention to the kids than the husband. My wife is mad at the kids most days because they are mischievous and argumentative. My job is to step in and help her out when it becomes too much for her. I use common sense, and I just know that she won't be in a good state of mind to be intimate with me if she's tired. It's tough, but it's life. The alternative is a divorce, but we can make it work if we are all just a bit more understanding of each other.
@drmachinewerke1
@drmachinewerke1 3 жыл бұрын
My wife lost all sex drive. Period. She goes we have sex. I say when was the last time. She could not remember I could. We were married 24 years. She said one day I want a divorce ( I told her the goats had to go if we were to travel freaking serious here ) she said you talk mean and do not like my goats. I want a divorce. I’m like OK. Hell yeah. Could not even wear a wedding ring last 5 years as finger got caught in a collar she put of on a goat. So she’s gone goats are gone freaking clutter is gone and I still have a screwed up finger. Good riddance. I’ll just rent a woman if I need one. Much less headache.
@tardislady9546
@tardislady9546 2 жыл бұрын
With that attitude, I hope you stay single forever. YOU make no effort, but you blame women for everything. Cue you being so boring, and spewing the usual, pathetic, misogynist abuse, and pathetic name calling.
@VarthLloker
@VarthLloker Жыл бұрын
Usually we say “enjoy your cats”, I guess in your case it’s enjoy your goats. LOL.
@barrycassaday6316
@barrycassaday6316 Жыл бұрын
😊
@Ramos-ATX23
@Ramos-ATX23 3 жыл бұрын
My testosterone is way high I get rejected. I show my part but my partner denys me? And I get hurt and mad.
@lashawnawarren3376
@lashawnawarren3376 3 жыл бұрын
Why is rejection from the woman all the time. My question is why would a man no longer want to have sex with his wife.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
It’s not always the woman rejecting, but in the majority of relationships it is that way since men usually have the higher sex drive and tend to compartmentalize the relationship a little more. Men rejecting their wives may be happening for a variety of reasons as well: fear of rejection, performance anxiety, not knowing what to do, low libido, etc
@taboojunkie
@taboojunkie 2 жыл бұрын
Focusing on building intimacy in all ways and addressing the root issue is key. A sexless relationship is just the symptom of a bigger problem. Sitting down with a therapist or coach can help unpack the emotional and mental blockage. Sexual rejection is emotionally draining for the receiver and it can create permanent damage.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
Good thoughts!!
@supercatforever
@supercatforever Жыл бұрын
That's a lie
@aniya_hill1922
@aniya_hill1922 Жыл бұрын
@@supercatforever what makes it a lie ?
@Hoffmanpack
@Hoffmanpack Жыл бұрын
Wrong, therapists won't solve this. Leave
@Hoffmanpack
@Hoffmanpack Жыл бұрын
@@aniya_hill1922 everything
@JesusUnsheathed_ItIsWritten
@JesusUnsheathed_ItIsWritten Жыл бұрын
Man, after reading comments, maybe I'm not in a bad deal. We have sex almost every day, but the one day we don't cuz she tired, the rejection I feel is like 1000%, and I can't shake it until the next time we unite. Same lady 25 years, married 18 yrs. I hear all the chatter on here and I'm in the one night off that seems unbareable. Maybe, you're all doing better than I cuz the only times its gone more than a couple days, I was away in combat. I guess I'll chill on my tantrum and ask God for help to focus on reading and feeding my Spirit. ***Seek Jesus 1st and all these things shall be added unto you. All men on here need to love your wife sacrificially, help her out of love, treat her like a queen, and act like you don't care if she returns any favor and she'll notice how you're not doing it just for self and things will get better. Kill with kindness!
@RelationShots
@RelationShots Жыл бұрын
Yeah, you’re in the minority so be grateful for a wife that connects with you sexually at that frequency. Research has shown only 4% of couples have sex daily and about 15% between 3-6 times per week.
@GWAYGWAY1
@GWAYGWAY1 Жыл бұрын
What about not just sex , but touching holding kissing and general affection being withdrawn and cringing when you try to touch. After 40 year and has been going on for years.
@sadiemason-martin5340
@sadiemason-martin5340 Жыл бұрын
You need to leave
@MrStephenlederle
@MrStephenlederle Жыл бұрын
Been married for 21 years. My wife hasn't ever masturbated, doesnt initiate sex, and says she wouldn't have sex again if it weren't for me still having a sex drive.
@adenise__122
@adenise__122 Жыл бұрын
how long before some of you crack the code and realize sex is only for having babies, you gotta be mental to engage in that otherwise
@jasonsamuel6601
@jasonsamuel6601 9 ай бұрын
You are equally to be blamed for marrying a asexual person
@seasonalocelot
@seasonalocelot 7 ай бұрын
Pretty easy. If no sex is a dealbreaker for you, then you can: -Sit down, talk with your partner, and ask them if they're ok with you having sex outside of the relationship (such as with a sex worker or a friend). If they're not, then you can choose to break up with them if sex is a requirment for you in a relationship. Your partner does not owe you sex.
@jacobvance429
@jacobvance429 10 ай бұрын
I’m only 35 seconds into your video, and although I will listen and watch the entire video in hopes of finding something different, I am more than convinced that it is because the husband and/or the wife just have grown board of that person and desire, something more under the guise of being tired, and just getting older
@lilndnfeather
@lilndnfeather 2 жыл бұрын
We want non sexual intimacy, affection, and love before sex sometimes . Especially when the guy doesn’t even touch us or hug or kiss any time unless it’s because he’s horny and wants sex, then ignore us after sex. Like a fleshlight instead of a wife.
@executor31
@executor31 2 жыл бұрын
How about YOU offer intimacy , affection and love ? Its all about what YOU want , but you forget that to love means to offer
@LePetiz
@LePetiz 2 жыл бұрын
I love my wife, i love talking to my wife, love sexless intimicy with her. Love just to touch her and embrace her. Try to understand her, and meet needs for understandind. After we have sex, i love to embrace her and caress her, and create intimicy. Still sex is a difficult issue. Before used to be so easy so natural....sex in a marriage is a strugle, woman turn cold with time and make us man, and thebrest of society believe that is our fault as man. Or the weather is fault, or that she is too warm. Or that is not in the mood. Or the food that wasn't very well digested. That they are getting close to the menstrution, that they have menstruation now. Before i could be filled with shit she still would want to have sex. Before she called my sweat - wild flowers perfum from the village. Now she can't stand it. Before we would have sex even if she was menstruating. Yes! Blood everywere but she didn't care neither did I. Loved everything about her. Selfish sex? Love to orgasm her, love making oral sex to her, just love hearing her screaming with pleasure. Love when she do it to me as well. Don't have high expectations either from everytime we have sex, so really try to neutralize any emotional pressure. Woman, have no idea what being sexually rejected means to a Man...it literally fucks our brains. Something about being sexually desired by our partner is deeply rooted on our identity as a man. I can say that me and my wife have a pretty nice relationship out of sex but the fact that there is almost no sex, just drives me crazy. Just makes me feel inadequate.
@tardislady9546
@tardislady9546 2 жыл бұрын
@@executor31 MEN need to make the effort, it's not all on women.
@stephenwa7417
@stephenwa7417 2 жыл бұрын
I'm not gonna lie but I see what you're saying... but the bible says humans have no self control and that's how it is... we kiss and do all that for sex cuz if we do it we are immediately tempted with sex since those acts can lead to sex... it's common math.. so u gotta be specific with your needs...
@vivaeuropa
@vivaeuropa 2 жыл бұрын
Christina I'm a guy and I agree 100% as I also need an emotional/ cuddling type of connection before I can think of doing anything romantic with someone and I know many women are like this as well.
@sbgonzalez167
@sbgonzalez167 3 жыл бұрын
Don’t date people with ignored baggage. They will make you carry it and make it your responsibility. Look for a partner that is actively self-investing, and is accountable.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
Definitely good wisdom!!
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
@@garycantrell4521 That’s the problem with having sex outside of marriage: it’s a performance where people are focused on doing whatever they need to in order to “win” the other person and compete against other possible options their partner might have. In marriage sex is about connection and intimacy so many times the person was doing things they didn’t enjoy or were maybe even gross/negative for them and so they don’t want to do those in marriage because it doesn’t feel as connection for comfortable. Then their spouse feels duped because they did them while dating but don’t want to in marriage
@moonshoes11
@moonshoes11 3 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots I think you need better education on sex outside of marriage. Your one size fits all attitude about what sex before marriage is suggests total incredulity. I recommend the KZbin channel Sexplanations for a better, more healthy perspective.
@Kv-pk2st
@Kv-pk2st 3 жыл бұрын
A woman that is accountable? Keep looking for that unicorn. I have NEVER seen one.
@moonshoes11
@moonshoes11 3 жыл бұрын
@@Kv-pk2st How very sexist of you.
@leodanbmx
@leodanbmx Жыл бұрын
We’ve been living together for a year, i dont get rejected BUT she doesnt get involve at all, she just lay’s down and lets me do my thing but doesnt put her hands on me anymore, if i dont suggest it, we wouldnt do it at all, she never has the initiative, its always me, i thought i was the problem but then i remember the other partners I’ve had before and this never happened
@kingwillie206
@kingwillie206 Жыл бұрын
She’s a dead fish. Those types make you feel like a pervert and it’s terrible. Something may have happened to her in the past and don’t be surprised if it goes from dead fish to complete rejection. She’s a submissive and may want you to get a little more kinky, but she’s afraid to say what she tells her girlfriends to you. Research dom/sub relationships and you might crack the code.
@lidiagizaw3828
@lidiagizaw3828 Жыл бұрын
@@kingwillie206 no weirdo most women are told sex is a sin and to just please the man and u expect her to enjoy herself all of a sudden after marriage .u told her sex was bad and she should be ashamed since she was a teen and now u're surprised she cant relax
@kingwillie206
@kingwillie206 Жыл бұрын
@@lidiagizaw3828 - I must admit that’s an interesting perspective, but it doesn’t apply to me or most Western women. Here in America women are taught by the far left to be sexually liberated and behave like men. The issue with that is they waste their prime years being passed around and devaluing themselves in the eyes of the quality men they claim they want. Notice how the man said “she doesn’t put her hands on me anymore?” That means she started off doing it and stopped once she became comfortable and complacent. Now a year in he’s doing all of the work and that has nothing whatsoever to do with “sin.” You are projecting your feelings from your own cultural perspective. What he needs to do is discuss it with her, then put his foot down and direct her on what to do if she can’t figure it out on her own. Trust me when I tell you the last thing you would feel is guilt if I were dealing with you. All he has to do is inspire confidence in her and his problems will be over.
@lidiagizaw3828
@lidiagizaw3828 Жыл бұрын
@@kingwillie206 what are u rambling about ?god forbid she wants to feel pleasure during sex .u literally said sexual pleasure is for men dont be surprised if she doesnt want shit to do with u then
@kingwillie206
@kingwillie206 Жыл бұрын
@@lidiagizaw3828 - Sexual pleasure is for men and women to share together and bond over. Not once have I claimed it’s only for one party or the other. I’m a giver first and a receiver second. It’s not very difficult to find out what a woman desires in bed and give it to her. That’s the fun part!
@joemarchand8313
@joemarchand8313 3 жыл бұрын
Admittedly, I'm not the most romantic guy in the world. My wife takes care of my physical needs, but she doesn't desire pleasure for herself. We're both late 50's, but I still have the desire, and it seems that hers is completely gone. She does say that she needs more romance to feel in the mood for sex and I get that, but she doesn't even masturbate, which leads me to believe that it's not all about the lack of romance that I do/don't provide. Also, she's on an anti depressant, as well as tramadol, and daily anti-allergy, Tylanol, Alleve, etc. for back and hip pain. I have to believe that all of the meds are killing her ability to "feel" anything. I've suggested that she see her doctor, to no avail. The one-way sex is very unfulfilling. Thoughts? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
I would imagine that her sex drive is low due to the side effects of the antidepressants and season of life. Obviously it would help to love and romance her in the ways she would like so that she is more interested in connecting sexually, but she still may not have the drive you do because of the medicine and hormonal changes. I think it’s great that she is still making the effort to engage with you sexually even though she is not “feeling it”. It might help for her to get a blood test to see if her testosterone levels are really low and could be raised
@christianalampkin6509
@christianalampkin6509 3 жыл бұрын
I was on anti depressants for years. They numb all sexual desire and you feel like a zombie. If she can’t completely get off of them like I have; the two with the least side effects are trintellix and Wellbutrin. She needs to talk to her Dr. about making a change. My level of desire has sky rocketed since getting off of them.🙏🙏
@user-fw1wd2gb1w
@user-fw1wd2gb1w 3 жыл бұрын
She may be asexual. Google the word. Take a test for her. The answer may surprise you and explain everything. It did for me.
@Engineer_Heathen
@Engineer_Heathen 3 жыл бұрын
Antidepressants are killing my sex life with my wife. She has zero desire since going on them. If I didn't say anything she would go months without sex and not even mention it.
@IROK660
@IROK660 2 жыл бұрын
She doesn't masturbate? Uh no....she just tells you she doesn't.
@LC_H
@LC_H 2 жыл бұрын
❤❤❤Good advice, but if you're dealing with a narcissistic spouse, then this advice will get you manipulated, emotionally broken down, and used. This type of advice only works for emotionally healthy people and people who can acknowledge their own insecurities.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
As does any practical advice…the only thing that works with narcissists is stroking their ego or setting boundaries for yourself to maintain sanity
@LC_H
@LC_H 2 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots I agree 100%
@travelingdude1621
@travelingdude1621 2 жыл бұрын
Well, the logical thing to do is to leave and divorce. It’s expected in marriage. No sex = no marriage. Just plain commonsense. 👌🏻
@georgeblackwell4670
@georgeblackwell4670 Жыл бұрын
Why is it always the man’s fault?? Some of the women are just cruel
@RelationShots
@RelationShots Жыл бұрын
Definitely not always the man’s fault and some women do weaponize intimacy and use it as a tool
@emmahedgecock7091
@emmahedgecock7091 Жыл бұрын
“Little pellets that get inserted.” LOL! Wth 😂😂😂 not knocking your video man, great job and shout out to anyone who makes and maintains ya KZbin, that’s great, and you added a LOT of possibilities. I just watch different videos on sex when I’m bored or doing chores sometime and I heard “insert little pellets” and started dying 😂😂😂
@RelationShots
@RelationShots Жыл бұрын
Hahaha. And good idea…watching videos on sex while doing boring chores probably makes it a little more interesting 😁
@emmahedgecock7091
@emmahedgecock7091 Жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots it really does! It’s like trash TV in terms of being a guilty pleasure, only you can easily learn stuff, pick high quality videos (not saying there aren’t some reality shows that are high quality or wholesome), and are entertained by more primitive fascination, opposed to pure drama. Also, you don’t miss as much not watching a screen for KZbin video. Sex science is very interesting though! Sometimes I’m watching for education. I’m not married, but I’m sure your video helped some people who are 😂 and for me it was good entertainment 😇
@junemarieweaver974
@junemarieweaver974 2 жыл бұрын
My husband won’t have sex with me either. We haven’t even been married two years yet. I don’t need any of the things mentioned in the video to have sex. I’m ready at anytime. I’ve talked to my husband about why he doesn’t want to but he just says things I know aren’t true such as he is too full from dinner or too hungry or he has to urinate or stressed from work… anything he can make up to refuse and to not talk about real issues. He says he doesn’t have a problem but that I have a sexual addiction for wanting to have sex once a week. 🤷🏻‍♀️
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
Once a week certainly isn’t an addiction. That’s frustrating when he can’t or won’t identify what is really going on that’s preventing him from engaging sexually
@junemarieweaver974
@junemarieweaver974 2 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots Thank you. I agree, it is very frustrating. It seems he uses deflection when trying to convince me that I have a sexual addiction. I believe I have healthy sexuality.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
@@junemarieweaver974 is he open to seeing a counselor or sex therapist to help you both get on the same page in this area?
@auraroldan1420
@auraroldan1420 4 ай бұрын
15 years ago I gave the husband so many talks about sex and how much i needed it. I even told him that if he didnt want to give it up i needed a boyfriend and still no change. So I left him. Sex is the glue that keeps couples together i think. No need to hurt each other with rejection.
@Gotoworkkk
@Gotoworkkk 4 ай бұрын
He’s either not attracted to you or he’s having sex with someone else.
@jamievincent99
@jamievincent99 3 жыл бұрын
What about sexual rejection from the husband.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
The video applies to both, wives who reject husbands and husbands who reject their wives
@antoinelyons5323
@antoinelyons5323 3 жыл бұрын
Tell him how you feel and how it makes you feel
@theartofcookinglane521
@theartofcookinglane521 2 жыл бұрын
That's mu husband when he come from work he sit down in one corner and he spent his time on his phone till he fell asleep .the same when she wake up in the morning . sometimes I argued with him because I need to beg for his attention .
@mgu1N1n1
@mgu1N1n1 10 ай бұрын
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female ex-partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
@jacobmiller9055
@jacobmiller9055 Жыл бұрын
My wife and I waited until we were married to have sex. We had discussions about what we wanted sexually before we were engaged and seemingly were on the same page. Now I’m 6 weeks into the marriage and she has 0 interest in me. We kissed like once in the past month. To say I’m frustrated is an understatement but I want to know how I can solve this issue.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots Жыл бұрын
Is she able to articulate why she seems to have no interest in sex? There are so many different factors that could be at play that it’s hard to know what to discuss unless she is able to give you some clarity. I would also suggest seeking the help of a sex therapist who can help facilitate a healthy conversation and some solutions to this issue
@RelationShots
@RelationShots Жыл бұрын
@@lewiscarson3086 why would waiting be any more dumb than not waiting? Research shows that the sexual relationship prior to marriage is not an accurate indicator of what the sex will be like in the marriage. The key is a couples ability to talk effectively about their sex life
@leedlbagginshield8492
@leedlbagginshield8492 Жыл бұрын
seems like you were trapped
@joshuamancarter
@joshuamancarter Жыл бұрын
Damn that sucks
@TomikaKelly
@TomikaKelly Жыл бұрын
Perhaps an annulment?
@joerapo
@joerapo 3 жыл бұрын
My question is how does a husband compete emotionally and romantically with all the romance novel heros his wife has in her head? Even though it's fake it definitely creates greener grass syndrome.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah, that’s basically impossible. The same reason affairs are impossible to compete with because they are just the fun part of the relationship without the difficulties, conflict, frustrations and so on. I think the key is to find out what your spouse most desires to feel cared for and try to consistently do that
@keishapuryear8180
@keishapuryear8180 3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a blueprint for what she likes. Easy research and do it
@missteslaknutsen4421
@missteslaknutsen4421 3 жыл бұрын
The same way a wife compete with your pornstars I guess
@joerapo
@joerapo 3 жыл бұрын
@@missteslaknutsen4421 That's exactly why porn isn't healthy for relationships. Why is this logic not applied to other stuff?
@missteslaknutsen4421
@missteslaknutsen4421 3 жыл бұрын
@@joerapo Try telling my husband that, I am so tired of being ignored in favour of fake fantasy that I can never compete with. It truly breaks my heart, but he does not care.
@ednalara967
@ednalara967 Ай бұрын
I'm not rejecting my husband sexually for the past 10 years he has been rejecting me 15 years ago he stopped kissing me in any form he stopped making love to me when I started getting more comfortable with my body and my sexuality he does not touch me in any way shape or form but he's buying sex pills sex pumps for him bands for him to have sex but he's not having it with me
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 28 күн бұрын
@@ednalara967 sorry to hear that. Has he said why he stopped engaging?
@annbtre4592
@annbtre4592 2 жыл бұрын
i am a woman and i am the one who got rejected by my partner. I got hurt after several rejections and decided not to try anymore. We didn't have sex for 2 years before i gave up, then he noticed but I'm no longer interested and now he's complaining that I'm rejecting him.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
Sounds like you both need to have a discussion about how you each have experienced the same feelings of rejection and come up with a gameplan to ensure you each will be committed to respond to each other’s initiation.
@tardislady9546
@tardislady9546 2 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots You never say that MEN should make any effort. You are misogynist. You will now be boring, and spew the usual misogynist abuse, or be patronising.
@sikelelanqodi2569
@sikelelanqodi2569 2 жыл бұрын
@@tardislady9546 Shut your mouth, you don't know what you're talking about, he always holds men accountable just as much as females. . Stop using words out of their correct context, no where did he Express hatred for women, which is what you saying he is.
@skinwalker6024
@skinwalker6024 3 жыл бұрын
8 out of 10 times is her headaches the remaining 2 it's some other body part that hurts.but if I say let's go out to a restaurant or whatever all her pains magically disappear . My advice if you love that women do yourself a favor and get a mistress and get some cuddles!
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
Maybe let her know that orgasm will release some chemicals known to eliminate headaches!
@skinwalker6024
@skinwalker6024 3 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots ,hahahah it's been 14 years with her ,the first 2 was fine then the aching started, have tried all the my tricks from playing hard to get ,to ignoring her to even buying her a car. I'm 42 right now and none of the other females that I been with have complain about my manhood . She is like my best friend and the mother of my daughter and I can say that I love her , but not getting her kitty as often is frustrating and infuriating . Cause as a man I need intimacy and getting it somewhere else had worked!
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
@@skinwalker6024 Obviously getting it elsewhere is not very constructive for trust and intimacy in this relationship. I would continue to find ways to dialogue with her about. Seek a counselor to help facilitate the conversation if needed
@user-fw1wd2gb1w
@user-fw1wd2gb1w 3 жыл бұрын
@@skinwalker6024 Google the word "asexual". Read the definition. Scroll down and take a test for her. See if the answer makes sense. It did for me.
@keishapuryear8180
@keishapuryear8180 3 жыл бұрын
@@skinwalker6024 I'm sorry you're going through that. But have you ever considered maybe whatever you're doing that other women enjoyed she does not like? We are not all the same. If it's good to her she'll want it more, if it's not good to her it can be the worst feeling ever. Think of something that you abhor like going to the dentist or a prostate exam. Will you look forward to it or go frequently? It's easy fir a woman to pretend she enjoyed it if she doesn't expect to see you again but pretending in a marriage is futile
@bluestrings8829
@bluestrings8829 2 жыл бұрын
So everything must be perfect for them or it is acceptable to reject their partner.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
Certainly not
@PlanoRob
@PlanoRob Жыл бұрын
Blue strings is correct, and it’s not on the wife to fix it…it’s all the man’s fault and his responsibility to make things right. At least, that’s what all the marriage counselors and pop culture tell us. The woman is never wrong.
@JamesMcComas-dr2xi
@JamesMcComas-dr2xi Жыл бұрын
Get what you. No sex, don't expect much. Deny your husband, could get you divorced. That's how it is like it or not. Cry all you want to. It is what it is.
@richardmiseljr2413
@richardmiseljr2413 3 жыл бұрын
34 year sexless marriage. In the past 11 years I have had sex 4 times.
@stephenmadison3401
@stephenmadison3401 3 жыл бұрын
Happened to me in the early 1970's. Christian boy marries Christian girl. Had no experience, no way to know how we would be TOGETHER. I was disappointed. So was she. We never worked it out because we couldn't be honest with each other. I did what I could but I slipped several times over 17 years. No children of course. She was angry about that disappointment. She finally asked me to leave the day I lost my job in 1989. It was brutal. Low ebb of my entire life. Found Jesus down there in the swamp, worked out things with the Him. Let that old stuff go. Lots of guilt. Found a Christian lady. Been married 23 years. BIG difference. We talk about everything. No secrets. Connect in every way. I have nothing against my ex. She is a lovely person. Still a Christian as far as I know. Praise the LORD! AMEN
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
Awesome. What a great testimony!
@stephenmadison3401
@stephenmadison3401 3 жыл бұрын
@@_HolyVegan Your reply sounds like you may be struggling in your marriage and are proof texting to convince yourself that staying put is the only answer. It's not. There is mercy and grace in the Lord who is, after all, the Word Made Flesh. We are all moving from darkness to the light of Christ. Happy Day brother.
@tardislady9546
@tardislady9546 2 жыл бұрын
@@_HolyVegan If that is religion, it is misogynist, and you can keep it. It is Sickening how religion allows MEN to cheat and MEN to re-marry, but not women. Sickening how religion allows men to abuse women, and thinks that is perfectly acceptable.
@eliellaban1105
@eliellaban1105 Жыл бұрын
Amen😂
@hwy138
@hwy138 3 жыл бұрын
Why is it always about men getting ignored. I am a wife . It has been 6 years. He just won't .
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
It’s not always the husbands but generally that occurs more than the other way around. In either case there still need to be some honest evaluations and discussions around the same topics
@kaziquefly
@kaziquefly 3 жыл бұрын
I feel you :( exactly same thoughts, more and more women are being rejected and it seems like a big tabu :(
@jodiebuczak7663
@jodiebuczak7663 3 жыл бұрын
When I heard that the speaker was going to talk to the ladies for a moment, I thought we would get unique insight to the feminine experience. Instead there was a lecture about how important sex is to men and how deviated they feel when they're rejected. This video was male centric and unhelpful.
@intellifly747
@intellifly747 3 жыл бұрын
I am not an expert but I reject my girlfriend and am turned off when I do not feel respected for a couple if days in a row or a few times in a row. For example taking shit for granted, acting entitled, or of she does not do what she said she would do
@marcusvonmaximus8071
@marcusvonmaximus8071 3 жыл бұрын
Because the vast majority of the times women decide when sex happens. Its not fair but its just facts. And many of the women out there abuse it.
@bostonmbewe397
@bostonmbewe397 11 ай бұрын
What if your spouse is totally opposed to discussing that and they are bent on excessive financial desire?
@Billy-the-Kid
@Billy-the-Kid 6 ай бұрын
Deny them the credit cards etc. No shopping, no restaurants, no holidays, etc.
@FlyingFun.
@FlyingFun. 2 жыл бұрын
Men and women are too different for marriage to work properly. Most Men want and need sex on a fairly regular basis and most women don't want sex once after a year or so into the relationship and it's worse as they get older. That why men end up having affairs with 2p something year old girls.
@Veronica-yd5dz
@Veronica-yd5dz Жыл бұрын
Not true. Plenty of men don’t want to have sex.
@TomikaKelly
@TomikaKelly Жыл бұрын
What 20 something benefits from sex with an old an unless hes rich?
@matthewwalker6621
@matthewwalker6621 2 жыл бұрын
Wtf? a KZbin channel with actual real advice
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
Hahahaha…were you hoping for 5 Ways to Know He’s Into You or 3 Texts to Get Her Back?🤦🏻‍♂️🤣
@chenarajohnson3563
@chenarajohnson3563 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much!! Totally needed this info! 🙏🏽
@randymaatta8824
@randymaatta8824 18 күн бұрын
Sex between spouses is the highest form of communication and bonding. Without it, the relationship deteriorates over time and the spouse who is blocking this communication is setting their spouce up for temptation he or she may not be able to overcome.
@kylatuggle1935
@kylatuggle1935 Жыл бұрын
What if your always getting turn down by your husband then what
@RelationShots
@RelationShots Жыл бұрын
Have a conversation about how that makes you fee and ask for some clarity on why he isn’t interested. Seem some outside help
@Gamerforlife85
@Gamerforlife85 Жыл бұрын
Sexual rejection really is damaging and makes you unhappy. Ten years of marriage and I'm at the point that I want to give up. I've done all the suggestive points from consuls and general guidance. Problem is. My wife doesn't fellow through with them. Sex is not important to her at this point in life which was not something we agreed on when we got married. We talked quite a bit about sex before we married. We still do talk about it openly. I feel like she lied to me. I believe I give a lot into our marriage. We have two kids. I often will watch the kids all weekend so she can have a break away from them or take care of them once I'm home from work. I worked a stressful deliverable heavy job but make a plan to have a date night once a week. I schedule other dates when possible, I will find the baby sitters, make time to talk emotionally what's on her mind, I workout and stay in shape (Working out only made my libido and sex drive higher), I tend to not talk about sec because she already knows I want it more, I often help around the house, clean the kitchen, laundry, worked yard and others. I know guys are different then woman when it comes to sex but I often hear ''I'm tired' or others. I can work 12 hours, cook, clean, put the kids to bed and I will still hear her say 'I'm tired' and I honestly don't know what to say. I started to resent her for the rejections. I've heard the 'oh I will make it up to you another day' and of courser that rarely happens. I love her. I find her breathtakingly beautiful and when I see your undressing or just looking sexy. I desired her sexually but often met with rejection. Everything else is great. She's my partner and best friend. We have fun and like spending time together. She would say our marriage is perfect. Like I said. I want to give up, or try an open relationship (Which I really don't want but needs are not being met). I'm at the point that I'm trying to decide if I can live with a unhappy sex life. My answer is no but I don''t like any other options.....
@TomikaKelly
@TomikaKelly Жыл бұрын
People can change over the course of 10 years. Perhaps you two are no longer sexually compatible. Ultimately, no one ever died from not having sex (after all, it IS JUST sex.) Perhaps consider opening the marriage?
@alhernandezsantana212
@alhernandezsantana212 Жыл бұрын
Man, I really feel your pain. If all that you're saying is true, sounds like you are doing more than your fair share. All that cleaning and taking care of the kids usually gets a wife excited and connected for sex (strangely enough). Therefore there must have some other need that perhaps you are not meeting. Ask her what that could be-- but at the same time, make it super clear like you've been doing, that you need MORE physical connection and sex. Otherwise she will turn you into a simp in 3 sec flat and that will kill the last attraction she might feel for you. In my experience, all women slow down in the sex department once they get married. It's up to us to make sex more exciting and experiment with new things. But here's the catch: in order for her to go along, you have to provide emotional connection and stability first. It's too much frigging work, if you ask me, but I am rooting for you and other guys out there. If she doesn't respond to any of the above, dump her!! That means she is just not into you anymore 😕
@alhernandezsantana212
@alhernandezsantana212 Жыл бұрын
Oh, I forgot one KEY thing and there are KZbin videos on the topic. In order to have good sex, you don't have to start feeling horny in 1st place. That may come soon after the lovemaking begins. I often find it's good enough for the man to be super horny. Women in general like to feel desired and get turned on by it. Tell her this truth and refer her to sex education tapes..
@TheOzStu
@TheOzStu Жыл бұрын
You have options. Stop being a domesticated tame man. Start going out with your mates. Get some hobbies that she is not involved in, and is not welcome to be involved in Ignore her complaints. Stop doing so much housework. If she gets on your arse complaining, just go out....and don't come back for a long time......even until next day. Become indifferent to her. Women are not sexually attracted to men who let them boss them around, manipulate them, or grovel trying to please them in every way.
@paymantabatabaei3497
@paymantabatabaei3497 Жыл бұрын
In my opinion, trying to cure women's low desire is exactly like a mad dog chasing its tail
@JosephToro-p1u
@JosephToro-p1u 29 күн бұрын
What do you do when there's kids involved in the marriage, can't walk away from her when I have to provide for the kids
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 28 күн бұрын
@@JosephToro-p1u Have you sought counseling to bridge the gap in your intimacy?
@82fdny97
@82fdny97 Жыл бұрын
Its not that my wife doesn't want sex anymore, she just didn't want it to begin with. She just did it to keep me around until marriage, get the contract, then not have to do it anymore.
@TomikaKelly
@TomikaKelly Жыл бұрын
But YOU are the one who chose your wife....
@82fdny97
@82fdny97 Жыл бұрын
@@TomikaKelly false advertising
@Dadsezso
@Dadsezso 2 ай бұрын
My wife had a hysterectomy nearly 9 years ago and that's when all intimacy ended. No kisses, and only friend type hugs since then. She is very closed lip about it and won't discuss it with me or especially anyone outside like a therapist. I love her and won't ever leave her but she is more like a friend now and I have grown disinterested in her sexually after rejection for so many years. This will be the rest of my life now.
@ibrahimrameez8442
@ibrahimrameez8442 2 жыл бұрын
Is it possible that women refuse or reject intimacy with their husbands because they are doing it with other men???
@supremetaco5
@supremetaco5 2 жыл бұрын
Bingo! Hello sir we have winner
@sikelelanqodi2569
@sikelelanqodi2569 2 жыл бұрын
That's primarily the reason why they do it sir. I'm glad you done figure this out coz many men sadly don't.
@stefm573
@stefm573 2 жыл бұрын
If they are not fu**ing you ! The are are with some one else ?
@AJ-kb9hf
@AJ-kb9hf 2 жыл бұрын
@@stefm573 not always true.
@sherryweems8579
@sherryweems8579 3 ай бұрын
Sadly, I married an impotent man who didn't tell me before we married. Im the typical trophy wife to make him look somewhat normal. At 68, im bitter and feel betrayed. Basically trapped. Im finding out this is more common than I thought.
@edwo6648
@edwo6648 2 ай бұрын
That sucks, have you tried spiking his food with the little blue pill?
@lmb4876
@lmb4876 10 ай бұрын
My former husband was very physically attractive…but he criticized me often & I was made to feel ashamed of my body…If husbands would compliment their wives and be kind/helpful, this is the real turn-on for women/wives…& stop yelling at us.
@SaystheTruth3
@SaystheTruth3 10 ай бұрын
Do you keep in shape? Do you make sex interesting and fun? Switch up sometimes? Men need excitement!
@Billy-the-Kid
@Billy-the-Kid 6 ай бұрын
Only women keep validating each other on TikTok etc. "Way to go girl" etc. Men are brutally honest. If you are overweight you are simply less attractive.
@britdalcais3967
@britdalcais3967 2 жыл бұрын
Why is it assumed that its the husband is the one that wants sex more often than the wife?
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
Not always the case of course but that is the scenario about 80% of the time in my experience.
@christinamitrovich7554
@christinamitrovich7554 Жыл бұрын
I had an experience with a man who wanted me to be celibate or take a break from sex for a while. He even kept rejecting me. One day after 3 months of this crap, he came up to me, and he wanted sex with me......well, I had moved on, and I do not have sex with him. Do not force this stuff on people. My needs were not met, so I went elsewhere.
@thecrimsonraven707
@thecrimsonraven707 11 ай бұрын
Now reverse the roles.
@susanr.3132
@susanr.3132 3 жыл бұрын
For me, going through menopause has completely changed my sex drive. I love my husband very much but the lack of hormones has really dampened my desire. I'm sure many women can relate after going through a hysterectomy or natural menopause. I don't want to feel like this and be so unenthusiastic about getting romantic with my man, he's an awesome husband and deserves my affection! I am looking into hormone replacement therapy. Men can experience low testosterone as well which will lower their sex drive. If everything else (mental, emotional, spiritual) is healthy in a relationship, look into hormones!
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
You’re absolutely right. My wife had a hysterectomy 20 years ago and experienced low/no drive for years. She finally found some success with a testosterone and estrogen replacement called sotopelle which restored her sex drive.
@KenFlo1000
@KenFlo1000 3 жыл бұрын
Get on HRT. Poor husband. And poor you. You feel “normal” since it’s what you’re used to. But in your heart you know something is wrong. I think you’ll be very happy if you explore this
@Ant424
@Ant424 3 жыл бұрын
Ew
@booldawg
@booldawg 3 жыл бұрын
At least you're addressing the issue and want to fix it. Respect to you for that
@tardislady9546
@tardislady9546 2 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots So YOU made no effort to make sex good for her.
@kikinorthington680
@kikinorthington680 Жыл бұрын
If I ask why, spouse gets up gets mad leaves the room every time …
@RelationShots
@RelationShots Жыл бұрын
That makes it difficult to have a conversation. Do they do this with every tough conversation or only this topic?
@reneelibby4885
@reneelibby4885 Жыл бұрын
yes! I get NO answer - just anger. after a while you stop asking. and really, at that point the damage is truly done. and Kiki eventually you won't WANT to.
@ralphmorones3476
@ralphmorones3476 7 ай бұрын
How can one say they love you and not even want to have sex or no kind of intimacy or anything in our relationship,is it time to move out and move on or what,if anyone has advice let me know what is best.I can't even touch her,so what am I supposed to do or think.
@EnemyAce88
@EnemyAce88 3 жыл бұрын
How do I pry my wife away from her cell phone? The main reason we're not connected is because she literally never puts that fucking thing down. There was even one time DURING INTERCOURSE when she grabbed her phone off the nightstand and asked me if she could play a game until I was finished.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
🤦🏻‍♂️That can’t be very encouraging. If you were to ask for times when cell phones are out away so you can connect, talk or whatever, would she be open to that?
@EnemyAce88
@EnemyAce88 3 жыл бұрын
@@RelationShots No. She doesn't think it's a problem.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
@@EnemyAce88 That makes it tough. Is she willing to make adjustments on things that you feel are a problem even when she doesn’t? Meaning, is she open to your influence or input on issues? If not it’s obviously difficult to navigate issues. Then you might just have to hide her phone 😁
@antoinelyons5323
@antoinelyons5323 3 жыл бұрын
That insulting did you tell her how you feel
@keishapuryear8180
@keishapuryear8180 3 жыл бұрын
Is it possible that sex is not enjoyable to her? Have you asked her if it feels good or not? Have you asked what or how she would prefer it? I've heard so many women complain about how horrible sex is with a man who doesn't know or care to ask what she likes. Instead he does what pleases him even if it hurts or doesn't feel good to her. Some are just boring, too fast, heavy put all their weight on her, predictable never altering the routine, smelly, bad breath, leave pee and poop in the toilet, dirty clothes thrown about, fart a lot. There can be any number of things that are a turn off to women. If you don't care to ask or make the adjustments when she tells you, you don't care how to make it better.
@paintandsipsesh9917
@paintandsipsesh9917 2 жыл бұрын
My boyfriend stays home plays video games and doesn’t have a job and no ambitions no plans for a future . I think it’s enough that I have to look this up
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 2 жыл бұрын
Sounds like you need a different boyfriend unless you enjoy being his mother and having to try and motivate him to do what he should be doing the rest of his life
@phaniraj5142
@phaniraj5142 11 ай бұрын
We came to this world alone and need to go alone, why take so much stress addressing these four points.. yoga, prayer, hobbies like singing, cycling etc are better better than working so much just for sex..
@Aj_719
@Aj_719 2 жыл бұрын
You hit a lot of good points I hope this helps my marriage
@54mgtf22
@54mgtf22 3 жыл бұрын
Great video. Very well balanced. Shared with my wife. 🤞
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the encouragement and good luck 🤞🏼
@tardislady9546
@tardislady9546 2 жыл бұрын
You blamed her, and refuse to make any effort to make sex good for her. You are digusting.
@VonGoldfinger
@VonGoldfinger 2 жыл бұрын
A man does not simply tune out from not having bedroomfun with his wife. -He’s either tired from work. -Cheating -you’ve changed physically or mentally or did something to turn him off. -Stress -something biological
@Jamie-ii2rp
@Jamie-ii2rp 2 жыл бұрын
True for women too.
@tardislady9546
@tardislady9546 2 жыл бұрын
@@Jamie-ii2rp The man who made this video is American. In American culture, men have no responsibilities, are not expected to be faithful, or to make any effort, in relationships. He blames women for everything, and thinks that men do not need to make any effort whatsoever.
@reneelibby4885
@reneelibby4885 Жыл бұрын
@@tardislady9546 when a man doesn't have sex with his wife it's HER fault! When a woman doesn't have sex with her husband it's HER fault! LOL
@melkerner
@melkerner 8 ай бұрын
@@tardislady9546 I don't know what country or planet you live on - but that is simply not the case.
@tl9193
@tl9193 Жыл бұрын
After 28 years of marriage.i think I've arrived at the conclusion that it's a trap. It's hard to admit but if it wasn't for our boys, I would have left a loooooong time ago. Marriage is tough I know, but it shouldn't be this tough. I have paid my penance for my past mistakes (minor) went to hell and back for them, and they are still used against me when I'm not so "perfect". If I have learned one thing after all these years, it's that I will never do it again if this one ever ends........evvvvvver.
@chrisburnsed6349
@chrisburnsed6349 Жыл бұрын
Nailed it bud. My situation and outlook exactly ! Never again.
@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86
@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86 2 ай бұрын
This is one thing in a relationship that is a deal breaker for me. Your hand isn't broken or mouth. So many different things can be done by your wife. Its intimacy that we need also. Give your husband 5-10 minutes of your day.
@CommeradeZhukov
@CommeradeZhukov 2 жыл бұрын
There was a burned out light in our cieling fan that I was changing moments after she rejected me once again in a sexless marriage, it hit me right as I was screwing in the new bulb. If she no longer functions then replace her!
@daddiboi4121
@daddiboi4121 11 ай бұрын
We've been married a bit more than 2 years, and it's like I'm just living with a roommate. I've tried to talk to her about it but it just never works. It's always the same excuse. She's either always sick at the right time, she's too tired, she "feels gross". I've done everything I can to try and repair whatever is damaged so we can have a healthy sexual relationship, but nothing seems to work.
@RelationShots
@RelationShots 11 ай бұрын
Ask her if she’s open to scheduling it to ensure you can both be more prepared and engaged to connect. Clearly just winging it or hoping it will happen spontaneously isn’t working
@daddiboi4121
@daddiboi4121 11 ай бұрын
@@RelationShots thank you for this. I've thought about scheduling before, but I worry she might go back on it last second. I will definitely try and take this approach
@Billy-the-Kid
@Billy-the-Kid 6 ай бұрын
@@daddiboi4121 Leave. @ only 2 years in that's abnormal. Exit.
@rysephoenix8643
@rysephoenix8643 Жыл бұрын
like the vid but I cant relate to this. Doesnt help in my scenario. 26M 32F -Wife is happy in marriage -I take on the brunt of housework, bills, and cooking -Physically I'm affectionate with her. hard not to be because she's sweet and adorable. sometimes I'll pick her up and run around the house. sometimes I like to scare her. I love singing to her but I love making her laugh the most. -I've gotten in better shape since we've married. -In bed, I satisfy her a few times before we focus on me. -We talk our issues out. no screaming or yelling. -Spoke about it once. Told her it's how I best connect to her that it's the crux of my expression of love to her, and that I enjoy satisfying her. She said she has to be in the mood. I left it there. I don't try to initiate. When it doesn't happen, I wait for her to fall asleep, go in the living room and work out, lift weights, and do a few laps around our building. I'll never cheat on her. But I have communicated the importance of sex in a way that doesn't make her feel guilty, or obligated to have it. I'll only enjoy it if she's into it. I don't know how to go about it, or if this is just how it's going to be. I'm starting to become indifferent to it but I miss having sex once a week. Just before our first anniversary, it stopped suddenly.
@Klake-bk2dp
@Klake-bk2dp Жыл бұрын
That’s really hard, and it will never get better. I’m there and some women are just like this. It sounds like you love her and want to make it work. The biggest thing you can do is not do things in hopes that she will have sex because that will only lead to disappointment and resentment. Know this isn’t something that you have done or that you are lacking. You need to address the whole “sex is the best way to connect with her” you need to expanded that part of you. You also need to tell her that she NEEDS to make you feel loved (not sex) to make this marriage work and explore what that means to you. You signed a contract and she isn’t upholding her side you can rip it up or rewrite it.
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