Sh*t People Assume When You're Trans

[@Jammidodger]

So sorry the lighting was a bit bright 😂 Hope you enjoyed the video otherwise 😊💛

[@kerstiesweeney]

I liked your video, so I thought about giving it a thumbs up and subscribing... Just kidding, I actually did give it a thumbs up and I am subscribed. 😄😄😄

[@littlepinons]

It was too bright. You just need to use it indirectly or filter it a bit.

[@TaliaDaSilva]

Bounce the lights on something or put them further away maybe

[@thescarecrow.8581]

Can I ask a if you could do a video of daft question yourself and others have been ask. My ex found out that a friend of mine wasn't always defined as female. They had known each other for 3 years at this point. She asked her what did they do with the bits they cut off. Then asked if they got donated to ftm's.

[@lemonboy8881]

I liked it

[@onyxsongoingcrisis933]

One of my sisters friends said "I'd be able to tell if someone is trans" to her, he's met me multiple times and I'm trans. She told me how much she had to bite her tongue

[@Jammidodger]

Hahaha that's brilliant. I knew someone who thought they could spot trans people based on their eyes - I wanted to prove them wrong so tested it, and they couldn't.

[@emmahayward6333]

I've now got visions of a line of trans people queuing up for the mandatory trans eye op. Jeez, genuinely baffled by some folk

[@nooneneedstoknow9580]

My dad used this argument when the bathroom debate was going on in full gear. "I can always tell 'those people' (won't use his words), and I wouldn't want them in the same bathroom as my children!"

[@FlickeringEmber]

@@Jammidodger I'm curious; what exactly were they assuming in your eyes would denote transgender? Genuinely baffled!

[@WishIWasJim]

The weirdest assumption was a family member assuming I transitioned so that I could be straight. So when I came out as bi she was like 'OK I don't understand, why did you transition to then start dating men??'

[@Jammidodger]

Face-palm moment right there

[@lynxwabbit]

Omfg!! XD

[@lifenothingbutasong]

Wow... the things people actually say

[@samwisegamgee6532]

Don't mix transition and conversation therapy people : Transition : it's about gender identity, it's based on scientific facts, it makes people going through it feeling better, it works. Conversion therapy : it's about sexual orientation, it's based on hateful prejudices, it harms people going through it, it doesn't work. So how can someone take one for the other ?

[@nooneneedstoknow9580]

I was visiting my parents over Christmas, and my mom happened to notice a KZbinr I was watching. When she found out he was a trans man who dates women, she said the same thing. "Oh, so did they become a guy so they could seem straight?" Head desk.

[@PhantomFandoms]

Actually tho, fun story. My friend is blind and when I came out she went "Wait, really? I would never have been able to tell!" And the thing is, with her she obviously knows me by voice and personality, not by appearance like other people. So me always being self conscious about my voice being too high (even though I've been on T for 2 years and it's basically as deep as any other cis guy) this actually made me feel a hell of a lot better about myself. Probably the only case where someone saying they wouldn't be able to tell would actually be a genuine compliment for me.

[@whatgenderami]

Random Guy that’s so awesome!!!!

[@moosboeke2554]

that's so cool!!

[@foxb5403]

That's honestly so sweet ❤️

[@littlewanderer7544]

Awwww!! This is so adorable!

[@bettykegley6416]

Random Guy awwww that is a great story. Sight is so important to most of us and for your friend to be able to use the other senses to let you know that maybe you’re worrying needlessly is awesome! ❤️

[@blood_of_winter]

Jammi, your bottom lip has a bowtie. And I love it. 😄

[@TheodoreStagnum]

i cant unsee it now 😂😂

[@blood_of_winter]

@@TheodoreStagnum right? Once I noticed it I was like "well shit. Now I'm gonna be looking at that all through the video." 😂

[@kerstiesweeney]

😄😄😄

[@Jammidodger]

Holy shit, haha I never noticed that!

[@lochnessmonster6862]

What've you done to us all?? *mock dismay* No but that was a really funny observation & now I can't unsee the bowtie...

[@sima4162]

Personally I really like it when a fellow transman can't even tell that I'm trans. Especially when they're early on in their transition. Because when I eventually come out to them then I can see the excitement in their eyes like they're thinking "Wow! That could be me one day!"

[@buchelaruzit]

Yes!! That’s so precious

[@herrickinman9303]

No doubt you pass very well ... with your clothes on.

[@daydream9961]

I didn't expect your comment to end on such a wholesome note

[@vincentngo9186]

@@herrickinman9303 what

[@igobylotsofnames764]

@@herrickinman9303 do you expect him to seriously walk naked everywhere? W h a t

[@JaysJourney]

Imagine thinking *"I couldn't tell you were trans."* or *"Oh, I always thought you were normal"* is a compliment.🤦🏻‍♂️

[@athghost2256]

I would consider the first one a compliment because I want to look cis but yeah its just not a good idea

[@shayolinparker2934]

I see the 1st one as a compliment. If you are trying to pass that is something you want to hear

[@JaysJourney]

There's no way to *"look trans"* though it's just not passing and then someone for example seeing you as a girl and you saying you're a lad. That can make someone put 2 and 2 together and assume you're trans but you don't look at a crowd and pick out the trans people. Legit isn't a thing. Re-assuring someone that they pass and/or look masculine if they're feeling shitty is another thing, I hate this even pre-T when I wasn't passing all of the time.😅

[@shayolinparker2934]

@@JaysJourney I completely get that someone "can't look trans," but whoever is saying, " you don't look trans" is just expressing that you pass. Most of these people are well meaning and genuine. They're not trying to give you a back handed compliment. Most just don't know the right way to express it. I will say the statement does come from a mindset the trans people look a certain way which is obviously false

[@JaysJourney]

Yeah chill, but it's just annoying init lmao. Plus, if you don't explain that to people they don't learn? There's telling someone something to help them know what not to say, I get it's all meant well but if they can learn and not keep saying it, then tell them.

[@SeonleeRomane]

Ugh the thing with sexuality bothers me too as a trans man. One of my friends today said his friend 'baited' him with a picture of a cute woman who turned out to be a trans woman and how he feels 'gay' now. I was literally right fucking there and I had no idea what to say and I still don't.

[@Jammidodger]

Ah I'm sorry that happened, situations like that are super uncomfortable.

[@SeonleeRomane]

@@Jammidodger Thanks man, it's super frustrating sometimes.

[@Tkm-bi8gk]

Tell him that trans women are women and a guy being attracted to a girl is about the most heterosexual you can get

[@athghost2256]

Gay guys don't like trans women. Because gay men are attracted to everything else attached to the penis (male body, clothes, vibe, etc) and trans women are just women with dicks. It takes more than JUST genitals for attraction. Imagine a straight guy being attracted to Buck Angel. Probably not, right? Oh, is the straight guy gonna be attracted simply because he likes vaginas? No. He's not.

[@Tkm-bi8gk]

@@athghost2256 Yeah, and trans women can even have vaginas!! Saying that attraction between a cis man and a trans woman is anything but heterosexual is even low-key transphobic, considering that the implication is that she's "not a real woman", and that the fact she was AMAB makes her a man somehow. It invalidates trans identities, in principle, to reject trans women as women, and I really hope you find a way to explain that to your friend, because having an unconsciously transphobic friend must really suck...

[@Skkorm]

I'm a native canadian guy, and I have long hair. A woman once told me that i'm the first native guy she's ever been attracted to, framing it like it was something I was supposed to be proud of. Telling me i'm attractive IN SPITE of my racial background, is not a compliment. lol. Im sure she didn't mean any harm, so I didn't make a big deal about it, but still. Why did she have to insult all native guys before she complimented me?!

[@MRayner59]

Good example of a “nonpliment” - a term I’ve never heard before, but am definitely going to adopt.

[@kianang2919]

Kind of like "You're not like other girls"

[@l.ghosttmiilk6016]

That is just fucked up, why did she think this was a compliment?

[@emmanuelaadebisi5743]

Martin Rayner As a British Nigerian I get that all the time. “You’re African?!? You look good though! 🙄”

[@l.ghosttmiilk6016]

@@emmanuelaadebisi5743 that's crazy, does it happen often?

[@zeddishhh2324]

When I came out to my grandmother, she tried to reason with me that I couldn't be trans because "I like guys." Like, yeah I do, so that just means I'm a gay man lol

[@3053sydney]

Exactly!

[@racheln8563]

Zeddishhh: My mom said something similar, though bear in mind that I told her in my teens during the ‘70s (I didn’t actually transition until the ‘90s). Back in the seventies, the “heterosexual imperative”-being hetero in the new gender-was still expected before one could transition, so I can’t blame her for thinking I would need to like guys. (As it turned out, I was attracted to neither).

[@elliot_the_simpleton]

Exactly, my friends aren't being rude but they just can't understand how I am a gay dude

[@parkerhessey3331]

People assume Im a "soft boi that needs to be protected uwu" and I'm maybe not the most masculine trans guy but when you come and smother me like a child I'm not okay with that. I can be a trans guy and not be the strongest and still be able to protect myself, thank you very much.

[@damiengraham948]

I hate it when people assume stuff like this. I'm actually rather masculine for a trans guy and rather tall, but people still treat me like a little cinnamon roll.

[@prestonbruchmiller497]

I'm an amab enby and like to think I'm fairly strong but definitely averse to confrontation so I really like it when people step in to protect me. I used to hitchhike and for a little while I was traveling with this awesome punk chick that was like 5'3" (160cm) who had a fairly passive and calm demeanor, at least with strangers, but she was terrifying if she felt threatened. Luckily I only had to witness it once, we were done hitch hiking for the night and walking along the train tracks looking for somewhere to sleep for the night when a four wheeler stopped and a guy got off of it holding a big can of beer and asked what we were doing, or course directing the question to the cute punk chick instead of me. I said that were trying to find a place to sleep for the night while she just tried to look at the ground and not make any eye contact with the dude. Not ever looking at me once he said "well y'all can come back to my place but I only got a couch and my bed and no offense but I'm not sleeping in the same bed as another dude so she'd have to stay in my bed. "We've got our bed rolls and are used to sleeping outside we're fine" I told him. He said "I think the lady can speak for herself". She looked him in the eye and said "look asshole I'm not going home with you. He took a step closer to us and with some anger in his voice he was said "I'm just trying to do you a favor you don't need to be hostile" She pulled out a chain with a pad that she in the deep pocket of her overalls and smashed the beer can out of his hand sending it flying. "You wanna see hostile, if you take another step towards me the next ones gonna catch you in the motherfucking temple." He wound up leaving and we decided to turn back towards town and find a completely different place to sleep nowhere near there so he wouldn't know where we were sleeping. After that I'd always refer to her as my burly protector.

[@Tendo641]

man i hate that. it's so infantilizing. People are always like "you act tough but I bet you're a softie underneath" and the more it happens, the more I wonder if it's because I'm transmasc. I never got it before I came out. And the weird part is I hear it from other trans people as well as cis people...?

[@randommeowthekitty6482]

Idk why people assume that all trans men are softer than all cis men. It's equally annoying (if not even more annoying) than when they assume the same about women.

[@ALeviCalledBird]

One I used to get a lot was "Why don't you just be a lesbian? It's easier." Then when I explained that I can't be a lesbian because I'm not attracted to women, they'd switch to "Wait, what?! Why not just be normal, then?!" Just... Wooooooooow. I never thought of that! Growing up in this culture where I was actively identified as a girl literally from birth, I had no idea that I could be a girl...

[@officert5147]

Old comment I know but I laughed out loud at the last bit it's so accurate lmao

[@cousinfun3059]

Oof that is all I have to say

[@aruniya8672]

'' You look good for a trans person '' is NOT a compliment ''You look good for a ________'' is NOT compliment. People. Need. To. Understand. This

[@Hinona.]

Yes!

[@nicomoist5336]

Your right your right. Tho i have experienced this before from. Y trans friends. But good means "masculine/feminine/passing" so it hits slightly differently

[@TR-bk1ts]

Just say you look good

[@FlickeringEmber]

Definitely. Just leave it at "You look good." Which Jamie does.

[@parkerbench1843]

I understand they mean well but it just comes off as kinda douchey like they're saying other trans people don't pass

[@lukassimontm3546]

"Are you sure you're trans?" - good grief, one would've noticed being a cis-guy before transitioning towards a male body. How is that supposed to work? "Doctor, I'd like to have a peen. Oh, nevermind, just found one in my boxers..."

[@Ladytasya]

Lukas Simon TM that is a very funny mental image

[@emmahayward6333]

That's exactly what I thought!!! Can you imagine your mate coming out as trans one night, later pops to the loo and comes back out saying, "Guys, you'll never believe what I've just remembered!"

[@memedemon6273]

Utter dismay that I dont look like a foot 😂😂💀

[@Dungeonfreak]

Taylor Bontrager “I don’t look like a foot” Jamie Raines 2019

[@katieadali4855]

Taylor Bontrager I’m dyin 😂

[@tatianaleutwiler1867]

"Are you sure you're trans?" … How would that even work? I mean "Oh, now that you mentioned, you're right! I never noticed before that I was actually born with a penis! Thanks for helping me realize that, I guess that metoidioplasty was completely unnecessary, then." Also, I spelled "metoidioplasty" without googling it. I didn't even know it was a word until I found your channel. Thanks, Jamie!

[@rosequill7925]

Honestly that comment never makes sense to me. Are they saying that I'm not actually trans because I look like the gender I identify as?

[@emmahayward6333]

It baffles me that someone would think let alone say "Are you sure?" Like you'd said it by mistake? People are just weird 🤣

[@r-robertson-d]

I used to get it more before I passed as a man, people thought I was just a hardcore lesbian or something. (Not that a hardcore lesbian is even a thing)

[@emmahayward6333]

@@r-robertson-d that always makes me chuckle too, nah she's not hardcore, just a bit lesbian you know 🤣

[@esteezeller8567]

this is the best comment

[@LauraPictures]

I had a quite weird encounter the other day. I met a friend of my parents I didn't really know well, for the first time in a while. And my voice has gotten quite deep and I have facial hair, etc. now. And she came up to me and just started touching my face and beard without warning and than went on about how great my parents and the rest of my family are and what extraordinary people they are for accepting me. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful that my family excepts me and all, but this glorification of cis-people for not treating trans-people like crap is super ridiculous and unproductive. And the fact that I'm trans makes it ok to come up to me - a virtual stranger - and just start touching me?

[@cynicalsparrow932]

Oh wow you are too handsome/beautiful to be trans! As if trans has a beauty standard

[@e.s.lavall9219]

"You're too ugly to be cis but here we are."

[@dadasoh2861]

Cheesy Sparrow yeah that’s pretty weird

[@presentfuture7563]

@@e.s.lavall9219 Ahahahahah you win

[@apersonwhomayormaynotexist9868]

I came out to a friend who is trans and they always say that I'm beautiful and they are beautiful and handsome. Wait... hand...ful... yeah their a handful.

[@smudgestails9135]

This is so unrelated but I’m honestly obsessed with the hair atm 😂

[@journeytoyggdrasil9994]

Same yo

[@sarastrobeck3768]

i thought it looked a bit strange, just the way that it was growing out. But to each their own, i guess

[@ysabiau4058]

Smudge's tails yeah tho

[@noezac]

my least favourite thing to see is people saying “you’re so attractive, i would never have guessed you were trans” to trans people like???? as if all trans people are expected to be hideous???

[@ericalynn6839]

what does "you dont look trans" even supposed to mean lmao trans people don't all look the same

[@ericalynn6839]

all of these are just shit uneducated people say oof

[@shayolinparker2934]

It means that you pass. It's one of the reasons I actually take it as a compliment. Plus, who ever says it normally means well and is being genuine. They just don't know how to express it in any other way

[@sola_a]

I'm sorry but a lot of times you can tell. It's mostly people who transitioned at a younger age that pass

[@nunpho]

@@sola_a very untrue

[@sola_a]

@@nunpho This is my standpoint and what I observed. I'm not even saying this applies in all cases but MOST

[@xanethebacon]

When it comes to assumptions, I honestly get more about my sexuality when it's related to me being transgender. I'm asexual, and I don't find sex very appealing for me, but I'm super sex positive for other people, and people get confused when I'm so willing to smile and be happy for people who are in sexual relationships. They think that ace people can't be happy when their friends are happy. I think they're the weird ones, but 'kay. Others think, "Oh, you're trans! So you just hate you genitalia and that's why you hate sex." I'm not saying I don't dislike my sex organs, but it's weird when they assume trans people don't have sex? Does that make sense? I don't know I think I just rambled XD

[@UnicornMuffin]

Yesssss. As an Ace Trans man, I'm soooo stoked for my friends being happy in positive sexual relationships. Being Ace doesn't mean we're against sex but just we (ourselves) aren't interested. It's another thing a lot of people cant quite understand I've found. And on top of that I've had the other reaction. that I'm only ace because dislike my genitals. Which I mean, I do but ??? I've just never been interested in sex at all for myself? IDK why it's so hard for people to understand not everyone wants what they want and it's completely normal.

[@SamirCCat]

I'm also asexual, wohoo! We're not alone! Also, I think the best explanation to asexuality is by imagining a gay man living on an island full of women. It has nothing to do with his genitals, possible virginity, innocence, sexual abuse or being religious - it's just he's not attracted to women because he's gay. And we are not attracted to any gender, simply because we're ace. It kinda also make me think there might be some mysterious unknown gender outside of our "island" (the world) that we might be sexually attracted to... That's a weird thought!

[@xanethebacon]

@@SamirCCat That's a really nice way of looking at it! I'll probably use that analogy next time I have to explain it. Also, a gender away from the island we're attracted to? I guess we'll have to explore more of the ocean ;)

[@SamirCCat]

​@@xanethebacon I always find it weird that sexual people can't understand asexuality, when they walk around daily being not attracted to people all the time. The mailman, their grandmother, their teacher, their coworkers etc. It's like that, but with everyone. What's not to understand? But when we bring in romantic attraction to the equation, oh boy... They're confused! Thank god I'm not anymore

[@xanethebacon]

@@SamirCCat Yes, romantic attraction is super hard to comprehend for people! When I tell people I'm Biromantic but Asexual, they get really confused. Like am I attracted to everyone, or no one? It dizzying for everyone.

[@airsoftpolitikpadagogikkon4320]

As I came out to a stranger as transman, he need a while to take it. As he did, he said to me, that he should have noticed that, because of my behavior. And my face would also look female. Thanks for that! On the evening, I had a lot of dystphoria...

[@SkinNYmini1819]

I hate people...... Like what in there right mind thought that would be okay too say? They wouldn't say that to a cis man so why a trans man??

[@affcarakapow]

The thing is that it's normal for cis people to have some degree of androginy, so If I Tell someone my mom is trans the person will look for masculine traces hard enough to find them and will Go on their mind 'oh of course'. the impressions other people have before you tell them you are trans are what really counts when It comes to pass. If you have to tell they are trans for them to know that means you pass.

[@rosequill7925]

That's so ridiculous if he didn't notice before then your face clearly looks masculine. The stranger sounds like a bit of an idiot.

[@gone4180]

I'm not trans, but I can relate because of my Asperger's syndrome. When I tell people about it I get comments like "oh wow, you seem so normal". Is that supposed to be a compliment? On one hand it's like I've learned social skills well enough to mask my difficulties, on the other hand they're telling me I'm still not normal.

[@nunpho]

Ooh I can relate to this. My mum didn't even want to accept it (the diagnosis) at first. People can just be ignorant and have preconceived ideas.

[@Wenzkle]

I've often thought about that analogy while watching Jamie's vids. My daughter is Asd and we get the whole "but she's so normal". Aarrgh

[@apersonwhomayormaynotexist9868]

My friend has always been not great socially since she was like really little, and recently she got diagnosed with Asperger's and now she doesn't think that she deserves to have friends or happiness so she's been pushing everyone away. Do you have any advice on how to get her to at least talk to me?

[@gone4180]

@@apersonwhomayormaynotexist9868 Sounds like depression or maybe shock? Perhaps your friend just needs time and space to process it so let them know you're there if/when they want to talk. If it's been going on for a longer period then try to still invite them to do things they might enjoy, and still treat them as a friend to prove that they ARE worthy of having friends. Don't give up and "prove them right". I guess if they got diagnosed recently they should also have been offered therapy and similiar treatments so hopefully they're taking part in something like that to help them better cope and understand themselves. I personally already had a diagnosed ASD member in my family, so to me it wasn't as big of a shock. But I still had an adjustment period of feeling confused and lost about it, and I remember that reading up on positive traits and successful people with ASD helped me feel better about it. (Super side note: Aspergers is no longer given out as a diagnosis, if you're using the term in place of ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) then it's fine, but if they really were diagnosed with Aspergers specifically then the person who diagnosed them aren't up to date on Autism so if possible your friend should avoid getting therapy/treatment from that person and find someone who's up to date to recieve the best help)

[@Dutch3DMaster]

People usually only know autism from a television show or the movie Rainman (wow I have heard that one a lot) and think it's the all-encompassing way someone who is autistic behaves. I have had this remark many times as well, especially "But you talk so easily!"

[@BannerThePonyboxer]

I always wonder how many trans people I pass in day to day life without noticing- there are so many trans people who just look like who they feel they are, it shouldn't be a surprise someone is trans.

[@hollyhell3772]

Caitlin Padgett True! And when transphobic people say they will never call a trans person by their preferred pronouns because they are just not that gender I think like “oh, I bet you have already done so a thousand of times without noticing lol”

[@BannerThePonyboxer]

holly hell I always say that to transphobic people. Funny to watch them implode 🙈

[@feenellis]

i don’t like it when people assume i know exactly what it’s like to live/act like a girl (if that makes sense)- i can be empathetic towards girls but i just don’t understand what it’s like to live like them because i’m trans

[@feenellis]

i literally spend my life actively trying to not look/act like a girl because, guess what? i’m not a girl

[@ferrismiller1755]

Fynn Oh my goodness I feel ya man

[@sola_a]

Implying that there's a one way to act like a girl? I'm sorry but wtf

[@feenellis]

Sola sorry that’s how that came across to you- but what i’m getting at is that there are stereotypes that some people associate as ‘girlish’ which people believe trans guys do hold to when some don’t. girls can act or look however they want but socially people do believe certain mannerisms and behaviours are ‘girly’. yet again, im sorry it came across as assuming there’s only one type of girl or female identifying person, i am aware there isn’t

[@sola_a]

@@feenellis You literally said it yourself, they are stereotypes. Socially, a lot of Americans also associate blacks with crime because it's a stereotype. Doesn't really make it right, does it? I am in almost no way girly. I just recently cut my hair off almost completely and I couldn't give a single fuck about makeup and fashion, I find it ugly and a waste of money. I'm brutally honest, I hate being polite to people I don't want to be to. I could go on and on but I think you get my point now and why I'm so upset. Just because I'm not a "stereotypical girl" doesn't mean I'm any less of a girl.

[@zraashaq]

My favorite is when people find out I'm trans and they go "Oh yeah, I could tell by xyz" after HAVING TO ASK ME WHAT MY GENDER IS. And then suddenly they can't get my pronouns right anymore despite getting them correct before.

[@sarastrobeck3768]

about the pronouns thing, for some reason, even though i'm trans myself, when i first met another transboy and figured out he was trans, i started to think of him with female pronouns every once in awhile. I felt terrible every time i caught myself, and eventually, after getting to know him, i stopped doing it. I'm pretty sure, if its not on purpose, it's because people will just see you as trans, and everything else about your personality is overshadowed by it, until they get to know you and your personality better.

[@darkfairybites]

I get “you don’t look trans” but in reverse bc I like alternative/“androgynous” fashion... So people are like “If you’re a trans guy why aren’t you trying harder??” Being a trans guy doesn’t mean I want to look the same as every other trans guy. If a cis dude had long hair, a long coat, and eye shadow, you’d say he’s a goth. If I do it, I’m “not trying hard enough to be masculine.” Drives me up a goddamn wall. Takes money to transition yanno, I’m not going to give up my personal style just because I haven’t gotten that sweet sweet T yet.

[@kalyanigollamudi759]

THANK YOU!! Everyone always tells trans people they have to try harder, and then complain that ‘trans people are so stereotypical’ and ‘if they say gender is a social construct, why do trans people dress in such extremes?’ Like...BOI. WHY DO YOU THINK.

[@LixiesSunshine]

Haven’t got the boy juice-

[@chaoscreeture]

Have you got the boy juice yet?

[@darkfairybites]

@@chaoscreeture Lol, yes! As of two months ago, I'm finally on T.

[@chaoscreeture]

@@darkfairybites :D im happy for you! also alternative/androgynous fashion is really cool and i wish they had more of it in my area :c

[@spinc9282]

The light is a little bit to bright, just a bit darker and it would look very good

[@AnimeGirlYaoiChan]

Spin C That's just his godly aura

[@lukassimontm3546]

Had a conversation with some guy (I don't know him well but he's nice) and somehow the trans topic came up. He said, he absolutely could tell if somebody was trans. And I told him that, yes, sometimes there are clues and often times transwomen have a harder time to blend in due to the irreversible effects testosterone had on their bodies, but that I'm quite sure he can't always tell. Like, transmen, when they've been on testosterone for some time, they just look like any regular guy. He persists that he can tell. 😂 I was sooo tempted to tell him that he knows at least two guys, he had no clue were trans. (One of them being me)

[@JOHN-kc1pw]

Lukas Simon TM You should of told him. He would be shook.

[@lukassimontm3546]

@@JOHN-kc1pw Well, I only know him from the Pokémon community in my town. But I guess I would've told him (about myself, not about the other transman he knows, of course!) if it wasn't for the circumstances. We were sitting in a McD's with about twenty other Pokémon players munching on our Happy Meals (They had Pokémon toys at the time. I bet they never saw such a group of adults going crazy on their happy meal like that ever again 😂). So, yeah, I decided to keep it to myself and chuckle. And of course I told my friend (the other "easyly spotable" transguy) about it. Had a good laugh.

[@joenamorado6372]

When a cis person finds out that I'm trans: Them: Wow, I didn't know you were trans. You look really good. Me: Yeah, you look pretty good yourself. I couldn't even tell that you were cis.

[@acenoir9923]

Sad that I have to say it, but I super appreciate you mentioning/including ace people. I feel like we're still mostly invisible/unknown to most, so I'm always surprised when someone other than myself or other ace people mention asexuals in any way. 💜 also, as for my 2¢, the lighting is just the slightest bit too bright.

[@XxAnoraxX]

I am really open with my transition and I really love talking about and educating people about transitioning and even about my genitals and sex life. But recently someone said " yeah it's kind of like, yalls job to educate us." To which I said, "No. I am an open book who completely fine with talking about MY experiences and what I know about transitioning. But it is no ones job to have to educate or even discuss their bodies to anyone else unless they want to." It was very rude and I didn't much care for the mentality behind it.

[@jaketaylor2775]

I love messing people up when they say "I can always tell" and I'm like oh really so you knew I am trans then? And they are just SHOCKED

[@rosejuliette5965]

People always assume I want lower surgery and I really fricking don't.

[@sock2680]

Rose Juliette do you not want it because of the results? or do you don’t suffer from bottom dysphoria. for me, i really don’t like the results of ftm bottom surgery, so even tho i do have bottom dysphoria. i wouldn’t want the surgery.

[@rosejuliette5965]

@@sock2680 I don't have bottom dysphoria. 😊 I have never felt like my penis makes me male. Plus my penis has kinda become a point of pride for me because i have had to endure so much because of what others assume about what a penis means for my gender. I feel like loving my penis and placing the blame where it belongs (on prejudice) is really liberating for me. Of course I understand that not all trans people have the privilege of not having bottom dysphoria though so I never expect others to feel the same way.

[@sola_a]

Which bathroom do you use in public?

[@rosejuliette5965]

@@sola_a which bathroom do you use in public?

[@sola_a]

@@rosejuliette5965 answer my question first and I'll give you an answer as well. Ofc if u don't want to answer you can just not

[@genderpunktheo]

God this is all so true. Another one: that being trans has to mean going on hormones. I'm nonbinary and want to transition in a few ways but T isn't for me personally. I'm thinking about doing a video on atypical dysphoria to talk about this.

[@Max-dw7is]

I'm pre-everything (no surgery and I haven't even started T) and a surprising amount of people think that I've started my physical transition? Idk if this is a common thing tho. Edit: another thing I just now thought of. People assume I'm not trans at all because I haven't started my physical transition. That sucks, but hey, what are you gonna do?

[@noa728]

Oh yea I get that one. Someone once asked me "can you be trans before you're 18?" He meant to ask if you can have surgeries before you're 18 but he worded it so wrong that I was so confused and had to explain that if you are trans, you are and have always been trans.

[@Max-dw7is]

@@noa728 Aww that sounds awful. I would have had a break down tbh

[@noa728]

@@Max-dw7is well it was very awkward because he didn't yet know I was trans. The topic of trans people just came up and I had to explain without accidentally coming out. He didn't do it with bad intent though, he's an accepting guy

[@Max-dw7is]

@@noa728 That's good. I'm glad he wasn't specifically targeting you.

[@noa728]

@@Max-dw7is nah he's a really nice guy

[@anyawillowfan]

I'm in a relationship with a trans woman and she will have to train her voice because oestrogen can't undo what testosterone has done. I do get annoyed when people ask me 'don't you find it weird being in a relationship with someone whose gentitals don't match their gender?' (Okay, people don't word it like that, but that's what they mean).

[@carlgeneux]

Tamara Epps if you love some one, you could tell these people, does body parts really matter??

[@anyawillowfan]

@@carlgeneux Exactly my point. A love my girlfriend for who she is, not what genitals she does or doesn't have and I don't understand why other people find that confusing.

[@dezeisenhour723]

One of my fellow classmates was so shocked I was trans. She said “Ooooohhhhh you’re trans! I love transgender people! They are so nice.” She said it in the loudest way as possible. I felt so awkward and I was like “Yeah....” and in my head I’m like “You think transgender people are mean?”

[@beachbunnii_]

My mom thought i would become straight once i started T lol

[@3053sydney]

I relate, my parents wish that I'm gonna be straight on T but I'm bi 😂

[@JayGemz06]

I’m so ready to hear these! It’s annoying that people feel the need to put in their 2 cents anyways!🤪😡🙄

[@crystalocelot1641]

“You don’t look trans” Yeah, that’s literally the point.

[@alexefredericmigneault5698]

Oh. My. God. Yes, owing people answers. I've been way too generous in providing people with answers, and then I've felt terrible afterwards, like I had let someone look at me naked for free. Even with family. Gosh, I wish I had realized that before I started taking T...

[@stinkynorsk5883]

*"I knew there was something off about you!"*

[@austinlam8145]

me, when someone asks about trans stuff: im not a trans encyclopedia, jesus also me: oh, i would love to educate the Cis

[@lincolnv4171]

No I don’t know “those ones” when people are surprised you’re trans because “you look good though”. Whenever I tell someone I’m trans they say they’re “not surprised” 😐

[@jerakio1211]

Lincoln V oh my god same??? i've told about 4 friends and they say they all knew for about a year (i've been identifying as male for about 5 months, though i've always thought about identifying as such) and i'm like 'damn guys you knew before i did-'

[@koutashinji]

People saying they'd 'never know' could be survivorship bias, I think? They're simply not accounting for any trans people they failed to notice were trans, assuming that every person they *did* notice, represented the entire selection of people who were trans that they actually met. It's pretty common to make this mistake. It could also be some form of overconfidence bias, since they're also assuming that they can clock a trans person easily. Either way, or both, it's a bit offensive.

[@EldritchVelvet]

you can kinda tell if someone's trans but thats really only if youre trans yourself, and even then its hit or miss

[@sTrAwBeRrYoPoSsUm]

NotYourMom I guess they never miss huh

[@lukassimontm3546]

Like a gaydar or a "pleeease-be-gay-dar" 😅

[@kerstiesweeney]

@@lukassimontm3546 Pleeeeease be gaydar?? Hehehe!! 😄💖😄

[@athghost2256]

Right? I can usually spot super small details because I'm so engrained in the trans community but even then, I'd never clock Jamie in a million years

[@riverbord5353]

@@sTrAwBeRrYoPoSsUm you got a boyfriend I bet he doesn't kiss ya *mwah*

[@loopyfrog]

"utter dismay that I don't look like a foot" LMAO

[@watsonwrote]

A friend with transphobic parents told me I was the first trans friend that they didn't misgender. I've also had a couple of trans friends I met post-transition who didn't know I was trans until I mentioned it. Not gonna lie, that did actually feel good...

[@noa728]

A friend of mine once asked: "can you be trans before you're 18?" He meant to ask if you can have HRT and surgeries before you're 18 but he worded it so wrongly that I got so confused. I then explained to him that if you are trans you are always and have always been trans. He did get it but his wording was quite confusing hahah

[@aon02b]

I think the reason why so many people think you can tell if someone is trans is because if you can't tell, you don't know that they are trans. So as far as they're concerned, they've never seen a trans person where they couldn't tell. Because whenever they met one they just thought that person was cis. Also applies to why they think they haven't been attracted to trans people before. They probably have. They just didn't know they were trans 🤷‍♀️

[@jasonregeling8577]

Omg you're trans?! I couldn't tell! I thought you were a real man! 😑 (This is in reaction to "what kind of reactions did you have?" To the video and is OBVIOUSLY sarcasm. I'm a transman myself)

[@georginafoster1]

Jason Regeling i cant tell if this is sarcasm or not..

[@nazunya385]

@@georginafoster1 I believe it's sarcasm

[@tatianaleutwiler1867]

@@georginafoster1 The emoji is pretty sarcastic.

[@Max-dw7is]

That one hit a little close to home...

[@lukassimontm3546]

Oh, yesss, that's bullshit bingo worthy! If somebody says that, most times they don't mean it in a bad way, but it can hurt so much. If possible, educate them, that cis-male is the term they're looking for.

[@hhnandu]

Jamie has a very innocent smile that reminds me of Colin Morgan (Merlin).. Is it just me or anyone else felt so?

[@broski9938]

yus... just.... i can't unsee.

[@ashtenjames7003]

I've also had people confused as to what I identify sexually as. Which a lot of questions do come from a good place, I just feel very uncomfortable answering some, like questions about my junk.

[@arkoadele]

all of this. i recently (almost a year ago lmao) came out to my step mother's parents and then the other week we all went out to have dinner. they started to ask trans related questions which, fine, i prefer people asking when they are unsure about certain things (for example, what exactly testosterone does, etc.) but then my step mother's father asked about my genitals?? strangers asking those kind of questions are weird enough but it's even weirder and more uncomfortable when your - technically - grandfather does so, i found out.

[@stan_dinghere]

the wildest one to me is when people think trans people transitioned because they were gay and wanted to live a straight life THAT is the most 90s maury shit ive ever heard

[@Jammidodger]

omg yes, and the whole "why would you transition if you're attracted to men? Why not be a straight girl instead of a gay guy"

[@dontwatchdominionfilmonyou2433]

@@Jammidodger My parents don't understand that. I'm f*kn gay.

[@introverteddrummer5149]

I talk to myself a lot when i watch videos and i literally said "trans people are just people" at the same time you did and it scared me lol

[@NovaRoyale]

I’m a trans girl, and when I told one of my teachers, they thought I was born a girl and had already transitioned (I had just said,”I’m trans”) and I had to awkwardly explain that no, I’m mtf

[@RolyWestYT]

Wait is a beard transplant a thing??

[@jasminecats1370]

I was coming out to my Dr. that I am transgender (MtF). I was having a hard time out of fear of how she would react to me. Before I was able to tell her she interrupted me and goes “ you’re transgender” I said yes, and a week later began HRT. I don’t regret it at all. What I do regret is waiting as long as I did before coming out.

[@ambert.heisenberg3186]

Dear Jamie. You are looking really good lately, but i need to state a little something here. The lighying in this video is too bright. As an individual with autism sometimes lighting can affect me deeply and even cause migraines. The vid was still great but i think you should watch out for that! Love ya ♡

[@Jammidodger]

Thank you for pointing this out! I'm so sorry it was too bright this time, I'll definitely make sure to turn it down in future

[@ambert.heisenberg3186]

@@Jammidodger don't worry dear. These things happen. Is there any chance you can make a vid on what equipments you use to make and edit your videos? I am considering creating a channel and i'd like some advice from ya ♡

[@jacobmelia4903]

Jammidodger youre such a sweetheart

[@devononair]

#5 affects me a lot! I find that a lot of people expect to be able to understand my transness simply from asking me, and yet their curiosity doesn't lead them to do any reading about the subject. I would love it if someone came to me and said 'I just read this book, and wanted to ask you something...' That would make a great change from people thinking I am here to answer all their most basic questions!

[@caseydegrave9892]

WOW!!! Those assumptions really are ridiculous!! Do people not think before speaking?? I thought you handled them all well, despite how odd they were... Thank you for the great video!!!

[@SurprisedPikacheesecake]

I can't tell that you're trans because the light is too bright. Sorry, I had to.😂 Trolling aside, it's interesting about the "assumes you're straight" bit because everyone assumes I'm gay. I mean, they're not entirely wrong, I'm pan, and it doesn't offend me or anything, it's just interesting when I comment on a cute girl or something and they're like "woah, you like women?"

[@3053sydney]

I have a similar thing, everyone just assumes that I'm a cis gay guy when they meet me (I'm a pre-t trans guy)

[@pissfrog]

I'm FTM and guilty of the "you look good" thing. To me, passing is a goal, and I have a habit of assuming everyone cares about passing. When i say "i never would have guessed!" my goal is to imply that you pass. I'm working on squashing that impulse and finding something else to say, like "oh, ok".

[@InsectsNeedLoveToo]

Thank you so much for number 5, I always feel like I have to answer so many inappropriate questions while I am working(I work in costomer service) and its so uncomfortable and I feel like crap for saying "no its personal". I am glad someone else can relate.

[@Aline-dv9hu]

men the lighting is awsome

[@Kyuk3tsuki]

I have a hard time because I am pan but I've only had girlfriends and if I ever find myself liking a man, I feel ashamed because my dysphoria says "you're just a straight girl". This video made me feel better because of the way you phrased it that cis people can be pan or bi and sexuality doesn't correlate with gender identity.

[@oliverglover6091]

With the questions thing, it can get very annoying. One of my lecturers at university, after knowing me a couple of months, started questioning me on physical transition stuff, not generally but specific to me like asking whether I wanted to have lower surgery and what I wanted from lower surgery and from transitioning and stuff like that, and I just as politely as I could told her it's none of her business. I've also had someone assume I can't possibly be trans as I'm not a middle-aged trans woman. Because apparently all trans people are middle aged and trans women.

[@shawnstevens461]

Love watching your videos. I think your so honest about becoming trans and living trans. You are the person that made me realized I was trans.For years I didn't realize that I had gender dysphoria. Always hid my true self from people.

[@jessicapellegrini7506]

I started a new job recently and it came to my attention that one of my colleagues is a transgender man and honestly, I was initially surprised because I couldn’t tell. It really highlighted my ignorance surrounding trans issues. I came straight to KZbin and found your videos. They’ve been so useful and informative! I’ve learned a lot.

[@katieadali4855]

“Look like a foot” 😂😂😂😂😂

[@sophieromanca]

I love your videos! I think you did an amazing job tackling all those points without ridiculing people who actually assume them. I think if they watch this it would really make a difference!! Love you😊

[@bettykegley6416]

Honestly if I saw a video of you, not knowing you’re trans, I would not guess it. You and Jazz Jennings have taught me so much about the subject. I really do believe that both of you are now living the life you were meant to live. I can’t imagine what either of you have had to go through. ❤️

[@Niko-ew8nn]

"I can tell you used to be a woman" gets me every time.

[@olivmccartney3631]

The lighting is rather bright, love!

[@Andythenurse]

I like the difference between my own age group and your own. There is so much more prejudice in mine. How do you cope with us older people and our bias (ignorant sods that we are)?

[@r-robertson-d]

Now that I pass as a man most people look at my chest when I reveal that I'm trans, which only makes me more self conscious about it. I already bind every day, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

[@123ilovevampires]

I hate the assumption that all trans men must have "feminine" voices or that how deep your voice is depends on your height - I'm only 173 cm tall (all the men in my family are over 6 feet tall) and my voice is just as deep and sometimes even deeper than my father who's known for having a deep voice! Next thing isn't an assumption really but I hate when people (in my experience it's usually young cis women) infantilize transmen and just think we're "cute" and couldn't possibly have any ability to be sexy or something.

[@fozziebean]

I mean, if there are alternate universes, then I guess there could be a universe where having a deep voice has something to do with height, but I don't know why anyone would think that. XD

[@enjolraswaters7491]

With the question thing, one for me that ticks me off is when people expect me to tell them my dead name.

[@Ray-hk1zm]

I introduced my two new friends (let's call one Katelyn and the other Ray, both she/her) to my childhood friend, who happens to be non-binary (let's call them Ash, they/them) Literal first interaction they have: Katelyn: What's your name? Ash: Oh, it's Ash. K: That's a nice name! A: Thanks! I picked it myself! K: W h a t ? (Ray asked their pronouns, Ash told her, things continued, then) K: So what's your real name? :D Basically, Ash explained that they didn't feel comfortable talking about their dead name, Katelyn didn't drop it for some reason, and eventually we switched conversation topics. I know it was ignorance and not actual bigotry, but me, Ray, and Ash were *screaming* internally Now Katelyn has told people that we're dating (as a 'joke' but then she started saying that she was bi-curious and always wanted to try dating a girl and hhh) and yeah she's nice sometimes but I'm filled with Terror. Welp. At least I can't see her! :D

[@frisianfen]

I work at university and one time an soon going to be PhD came up to me (seen him a couple of times before) like "Hey are you trans?" "Mhm. Yeah. So?" "I mean, I've seen that the first moment I met you. Just wanted to ask but you dont, like, just ask that in the first few minutes you meet somebody." ... Thanks? Wtf just take your books an leave. In the end he told me how to built musclemass quickly (that was kinda helpful actually) and how I should change my diet to lose weight quickly. That was... awkward.

[@gwenbeauvais7973]

When I was telling family that I wanted top surgery, they assumed that this was because I wanted to be a man. I am non-binary/agender and my family have a hard time understanding this. I think that there is an assumption that surgery and hormones equate to wanting to transition along the binary - from one side to the other. That non-binary people can't have their own form of transition. It even goes so far as to when I got my surgery and the only option was to put down that I was male - even though I am AFAB and have a fluid gender presentation and no gender. Terminology and assumptions, I think are a universal experience for a lot of us, regardless of how you identify within the trans family.

[@EternalYorkieMom]

I’m way more educated after watching your videos Jamie. They help me understand more of the basics of your experience as a trans man in an open and understanding environment. I know how to be maximally accepting and supportive for any LGBTQ person that enters my life because of content creators like you :)

[@DragonMaster-hp3kl]

My mom tells me since I say I'm mtf, that that automatically makes me attracted to male genitalia, not anything or anyone else. I'm panromantic, but my sexuality leans more towards lesbian. I've been in a relationship with a pre-T trans man for 3 months. I've been keeping the relationship secret due to my whole family hating him, and forcing me to block him due to them thinking he is convincing me to say I'm trans. I've felt dysphoric since puberty. I'm 18 now, and graduated. I have 2 people willing to take me in. One just needs to get her intermediate. She's 3 hours away. The other one is planning on taking me in once he finds an apartment and I get a job so I can help pay rent.

[@pinkelephant4591]

"Are you sure you're trans?"...um what?

[@jess01510]

6:00 basically people are like " Can you TRANS-late what it's like to be trans ? "

[@athenadominguezcastillo2752]

I know you've done a lot of videos on FTM transitioning, specifically surgeries. And I'd like to know a bit more about MTF transitioning. I know your FTM videos are really comprehensive and clear up so much fog! If you're comfortable with it, I don't want to volunteer you to be an expert on all of this. Not to mention you probably have your own video lists to get through! Thanks you making all these videos X) love you!

[@racheln8563]

Sadly, I’ve said things like, “You look great-I couldn’t tell at all!”, thinking that was a compliment. It was more a backhanded expression of jealousy, since I don’t pass nearly as well.

[@bigboredthing]

When I came out to my sister she went "OMG are you going to get a girlfriend then?" and I just went "I'm... gay. Surely the fact I have a boyfriend is a bit of a giveaway?"

[@pandoricapond4420]

I've had, "yOuR'E PrEtTy FoR a BlaCK GiRL"" Also the same about me being fat like....yeah no, I don't feel happy you said that lol

[@decissivemoss]

your hair looks so good in this video!! 😍💛

[@juliuspearson4202]

my least favourite compliments are "you look cis!" and "never would have guessed you were trans!"

[@wolfman75]

Excellent Video!!! A Tad Bright :-P IKR that bugs the heck outta me as well. I mean we don't ask them these questions. Maybe we should, then they might actually think before they speak. Much Love Thank You!!!

[@TheLongjohntim]

Jammie I'm a gay male and I find you attractive very attractive for the record I'm still a gay man, love you videos. I seen some videos of ftm that identify as gay men. Gender and sexuality are two different things! To a good Trans friend Sherly I miss you R.I.P.

[@naydee]

You are the best at explaining trans on KZbin. I’ve learned much about the trans community from you. Thanks for all you do!

[@Nosoyyo7]

I realized I was transphobic thanks to your channel. No more, so, thanks. Lots of love! :,3

[@lemongrab1559]

I hate when ppl try to compliment u saying u don’t “look trans” as if that’s a way to look, it just makes it sound like they’re saying trans is ugly or equates to being weird looking

[@MurderouslyNocturnal]

Lol.. I had a friend once who was in love with me before I came out. According to him I suddenly switched to being trans and it made him less of a man. He already struggled with me not being straight. I was responsible for it and he expected me to fix his masculinity somehow. Only because I decided to stop hiding who I am. I've had other people make my being transgender all about them in some way. I'm on T finally. I hope I will start passing so I can go stealth and be taken as who I am. Just a man

[@Joshua-pb2eu]

People always assume that I'm not trans because I haven't medically transitioned yet?? They just seem to think that I'm not trans if I'm not on hormones or trying to get "the surgery" or whatever