Shitstorm 7 - Constantine

[@ver-ina]

I'm so glad Pat fixed KZbin.

[@oradrive745]

Or he crashed it

[@SolemnBravadoReal]

When he said "it's broken" Crazy Talk activated and fixed it.

[@RadicalRegice]

Matt and Pat's continued effort to curse Woolie through these videos has spread to the entirety of KZbin itself

[@JRSanchez93]

For like 30 to 40 minutes max

[@DwarfDaddy]

rice i miss something? A few of these episodes have had people mention that they’re cursing woolie. I haven’t been watching all these episodes

[@tonyinfinite5174]

@@DwarfDaddy the Leprosy game search for it on the shitstorm

[@pleaserespond3984]

@Tony Infinite I can't find it, seaching "leprosy game shitstorm" on youtube doesn't show any games named Leprosy. Can you link us?

[@DwarfDaddy]

Please Respond i think he’s referring to Lazeretto

[@VergilHiltsLT]

The video that broke KZbin itself.

[@Hedgpig]

I got through, only to find myself in the Wooliehole

[@Killer05Condom]

SHITSTORM IS HYPE THAT'S WHY

[@dcung8833]

KZbin was scared of the evils of premarital sex

[@trulythedude]

I thought it was just my app huh weird

[@hithere5553]

Crazy talk is getting to frankly ludicrous levels of power.

[@Solidus113]

Constantine is a John Wick prequel and the 'impossible job' that made him a legend.

[@Phenominal222]

This is now the only lore I will accept.

[@vampricramen]

"impossible job" as in he had to save this movie?

[@GrantBrownDog]

He once killed three demons with a pencil! A fucking pencil! Who the fuck can do that?

[@BlackSabbath628]

The demons killed his dog.

[@DriscolDevil]

"You killed my Shia."

[@BlumenCT]

Now THIS is the shovelware I wanna see in a Shitstorm.

[@EnriqueDelSuave]

A video so scary it crashed KZbin

[@Shift_Salt]

KZbin couldn't handle the power of the shitstorm

[@gaminggoddess85]

I came to ask if it was just me, and evidently it wasn't.

[@4Wilko]

It got overloaded by swears.

[@GenerationWest]

Aw Yeah, my boy John Constantine, The Hellblazer, the dabbler of dark arts! Oh... It's the Keanu Reeves version... At least Matt Ryan (Edward Kenway) exists, and is the best live-action and animated version, and constantly puts his heart into the role everytime.

[@Samm815]

I was about to make that joke myself, Mr. West.

[@EduardoFlores-bt4fo]

The first Constantine movie was good.

[@cristianl1516]

no it wasn't

[@agoodboy1404]

But the Keanu Constantine is great tho.

[@EduardoFlores-bt4fo]

Yes it was, it was pretty good.

[@mrfats5004]

I dunno if you guys even read comments, but know you guys are and have always been my favorite LPers on YT. This time of the year on this channel is magical. Hope you end up playing something fun for the follow up LP.

[@vVAstrAVv]

Them and oneyplays are tied for me

[@spookhyskeleton]

This comment is just sad now, in hindsight.

[@gabbyprincip1575]

They haunted KZbin instead of Woolie

[@tomeoftheseer3245]

Other fun facts about Comic!Constantine: he is bisexual, he played in a punk band called Mucous Membrane, he tricked the devil into curing his lung cancer, and he once showed up in a PSA about condoms

[@thewraithwriter22]

Tome of the seer links to the PSA please

[@buckygoforth1278]

and also he is perfect and i love him so very much

[@RadMatter_]

ok at the time I wasnt aware that Constantine existed so I just watched this movie as another Keanu movie but now that I know more about Constantine I can see why fans dislike this movie

[@BeavisSaves]

its way better as just another Keanu movie

[@ShinoSarna]

It's not a bad movie, just a bad Hellblazer movie.

[@TheCCCKKK]

The movie is awesome if you know nothing about the source material. I still watch it even now after I've seen some of the DC animated Constantine movies.

[@laughingoctopus8556]

"lung cancer is a great disease..." - Patrick from Super Best Friends, circa 2018

[@4Wilko]

"Everything wants to look like a shitty Max Payne 2!" Old action game where the atmosphere doesn't lend itself well to spooks. So *Minor startles and silly surprises list:* 4:42 - Minor 10:25 - Minor. Sandbag that hell manhole. Matt: "That was quite scary." 15:10 "Oh my goodness! Nooooo!" 17:35 LOW RI DER 18:37 19:00 - Minor. Matt loves it Evil basketball 21:14 21:30 - Goofy paranormals are happening 23:55 - Minor Magical glass 25:34 Sandbag that manhole again 27:22 "Oh my goodness" is the phrase of the day.

[@makeda6530]

4Wilko The broken KZbin could not hinder your destiny brother

[@Ora_]

You seriously wasted your time to write down "jump scares" for this?

[@lifeiscrap103]

I am waiting for the video where you make this comment and the only thing it says is... "None. There are no spooks in this entire video." Then we'll know we have hit the Eye of the Shitstorm.

[@herpmcderp7666]

When they're frontloading this much trash, you know they're saving something special for last.

[@danielasilva69457]

You gotta drink all this piss before you can drink your Coca-Cola

[@notoverwatch6991]

Like Constantine.

[@HighwaterTrousers]

Fun Fact: The was one of the last games developed by Bit Studios before they completrly dissolved in 2008. This isn't the studios first appearance here on the channel though, as they developed Die Hard: Vendetta, which showed way back in Mystery Box #11.

[@deathmetalalchemist2731]

Wanted to let you know that I appreciate your presence in the Shitstorm’s comment sections, Mr. Trousers.

[@DevonPalmer98]

Remember in Constantine when Peter Stormare played the best version of the devil ever.

[@thepickles8833]

he ain't in this...

[@CourtCjbLand]

The Picklestein Monster no shut up tho

[@DevonPalmer98]

The Picklestein Monster It’s until dawn, this game is just in john wick’s head

[@TheSmokingSkull]

Yeah, Stormare was great

[@jeffreyflowers5203]

Dude why didn't they give him a series

[@sunlightmaggot821]

For a moment KZbin became helltube where there's no videos! The horror!!

[@redinstrumental7535]

The dancing clown i saw that to u tube was F en. Up

[@ARB1452]

Aw man rewatching random vids after the news broke. I hope you guys were having fun together here and it wasn’t fake.

[@dimanoetske6303]

I almost had to face the outside world. Truly the spookiest time of the year.

[@loneronin6813]

"Water of Enlightenment." Uh huh...that's what he calls his alcohol. (Epic Narrator Voice) "John's been through hell, but no amount of guns and Jujutsu will get him out of this alone. He will take on more than any assassin of the High Table has ever put him through before. They killed his dog. They took his car. They hunted him down. He's on the run. He's got guns...fists...and now...he has a flask! THIS SUMMER...Keanu Reeves IS..."JOHN WHISKEY." ...Ok I'll shut up now.

[@anyonesmellthat]

That KZbin crash sure was spooky. You guys went all out this year!

[@_Francis_York_Morgan]

THIS licensed game exists?! This must the the work of an enemy Satan!

[@dcung8833]

Satano Powah!?

[@KingInYellowTatters]

Just FYI. Since 'Satan' literally means 'The Adversary', then technically *all* Satans out there are enemies in some form or fashion, really...

[@DH2007able]

Horry sheet!!!

[@SuperHornetX]

Coffee never fails

[@KWHere2]

Fun fact: one time in the comics Constantine got cancer so he sold his soul to 3 different top tier Demon Lords and since they were all super greedy and super powerful they decided to cure his cancer so they wouldn't get into a bug dumb demon war over Constantine's soul.

[@Killer05Condom]

The Hype that single handedly took KZbin down with it

[@UselessFeature]

Even youtube wasn't ready for the shitstorm

[@toastyguy96]

Oh God, KZbin's back I'll never cheat on you again.

[@theoverlordofcats5511]

Classy with Dailymotion!

[@kaizerdeath12]

Matt's quest to curse Woolie accidentally hexed all of KZbin as well it seems.

[@PotatoIsNotCute]

Awww, it was kind of cute hearing Pat say "Oh my goodness!"

[@Akudi]

I don't care what anyone says. I haven't watched Constantine in awhile, but I remember actually liking that movie.

[@CorndogNinja]

A lot of people say "it's a shitty Hellblazer movie, but not that bad as its own thing"

[@niesiot]

@ThisName DoesntMatter George Clooney as batman was a pretty good idea too

[@blitzkriegdragon013]

Movie never even tried to be accurate to the source material. Look at it as it's own thing, it's not bad.

[@Conflict-ff5pi]

KZbin really didn't want us to see this shitstorm, crashing the entire website just so it'd be unavailable

[@vampirematter9786]

The Shitstorm even got to youtube itself! Guess not only woolie is getting haunted this year.

[@tuckert07]

All I could think of when they first actually started the gameplay was "Holy shit, it's Detective Francis York Morgan!"

[@SteelBallRun1890]

Oh boy, its John Wick Constantine. To be fair to that movie, Peter Stormare as Lucifer is great.

[@TheDirtbaggrif]

Are there even going to be any games for Shotstorm 8? I can't imagine the horror barrel is nearly as deep as the fighter barrel.

[@0rriAndroid]

We got the rest of the rpg maker horror games, the five nights shit, slender, amnesia, og Alone in the Dark, creepypasta bullshit, remaining Residen Evils and Silent Hills, etc

[@HarpsiFizz]

They can still play 123 Slaughter Me Street 1 and 2, damnit. I'm waiting on them to do that one. I need it. Also BonBon and the new Cthulhu game that comes out on the 31st, and Haunt the House and Paranormal.

[@sleepofgiants410]

They still haven't played The Survey or Gone Home, surprisingly

[@sleepofgiants410]

@Sword & Sorcery This year they went by whatever Matt bought in June for his solo channel. :p

[@thomasgrieve1924]

There's sooooo many games they haven't played

[@genm4827]

Everyone in the comments now trying to come up with a banger comment about KZbin being down and this LP

[@dcung8833]

Likes likes likes it's all about the likes

[@slifer875]

this fanbase is pretty slutty when it comes to attention.

[@INSOMNIACification]

We back to life baby it’s KZbin 2 super mario brothers best game in da world babbbyyy!!!

[@NickiRusin]

*K N A C K 2* *_B A B Y_*

[@screamingphoenix8113]

KNACK 3 Will make you really feel like batman!

[@prowlingmonkey]

Keep that type of talk to dunkey videos. We make fun of Woolie in this comment section

[@NickiRusin]

@@prowlingmonkey Woolie 2 will be a real game changer

[@ThingsOnDemand]

references are not an acceptable substitute for humor.

[@boiledcrap]

The library level was my favorite; ominous environment, pretty subtle jump scares, and a dragon boss fight.

[@geardog24]

Constantine was just a better sequel to the Matrix.

[@ThatWeirdGuyFromWork]

geardog24 and prequel to John Wick

[@ImperfectWeapons]

9:38 I always assumed that the threat of death in hell (when that's a thing) is that you would just respawn in an even worse version of hell. You're dead and yet in constant fear of dying, struggling to stay alive in a slightly less hellish hell, but inevitably sinking further and further into torment with each death, for all eternity.

[@spvstu]

So many good points on the merit of playing old games for fun and just looking at them with the hindsight of the market 10yrs on. awesome analysis and the real reason I'm hyped every year for shitstorm. So many games I would never know but glad were "played once".

[@AlexanderAndreassen123]

The episode that broke youtube

[@MrStatistx]

Animation and lighting in the intro is surprisingly good

[@Roidgy]

in hell you are supposedly resuscitated again and again, essentially having an infinite murder loop of suffering. In hell you just turn into deadpool

[@kanokonism]

KZbin can't stop the Shitstorm!

[@GrantBrownDog]

Ah yes, the dark times between The Matrix and John Wick before Keanu got his groove back.

[@Knightess]

Matt being mad at pop-ups is my new favourite thing.

[@spookler]

Pargon, Pargon, Pargon

[@Cash3ye]

Shitstorm video go UP. KZbin go DOWN.

[@PredatoryQQmber]

Just want to say that Constantine TV series is some Firefly-level goodness and its music theme is dope !

[@UNLebanon]

Half-way through the Shitstorm and Pat's heart has yet to explode.

[@christiankirby8513]

I didn't freaking know that the 2005 Constantine movie had a fucking game adaptation... Admittedly, I didn't think this movie was that bad. Then again, I have no actual knowledge of the source material...

[@chrisnichols5572]

Watch Constantine City of Demons. It's great.

[@MarcTheLoneGamer]

AFAIK in the movie Constantine didn't just 'think hard' after putting his bare feet in water to go to hell- he gets his feet wet then Djimon Honsou electrocutes him- so basically he stops his heart (and dies) to go to hell.

[@edgarparedessotelo5148]

Oh thank god youtube is back, I almost went a day without my daily dose

[@ChristmasLightsTonight]

Two things: (1) I recently rewatched Constantine, and the first scene of this game is SHOT-FOR-SHOT the first scene of the movie, it's insane how 1:1 it is. (2) Go watch that old X-Files shitstorm video while it's still up, the ending has some PRIME Duchovney voice acting

[@IamlordEVIL]

Jesus some of y'all fast.

[@blackknight2095]

I'm so glad I'm watching this Tonight. Right now.

[@blue6sub6remnant6]

It youtube actually back, or did I fall asleep at my battle station, refreshing the homepage in lucid frustration at not being able to get to that sweet, sweet, spooky S***Storm?

[@shif-shaf2263]

One could practically go deaf from the sound of the best friends clawing at the bottom of the barrel

[@jotarokujoandstarplatinum1280]

Logo intros that I miss: THQ, Midway, Silicon Knights (I played a lot of Eternal Darkness), Neversoft. Especially Neversoft. The eyeball getting impaled fucked me up as a kid. It was awesome.

[@ToughToughBlast]

You can postpone Sonic Unleashed and Dante's Inferno all you want but you'll never escape.

[@dcung8833]

Been a long time gone Constantinople, now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night

[@LordMoku]

I hope you continue this LP. This era of games is also my aesthetic.

[@Dirty0o0Jester]

That was the most stressful half hour of not KZbin I've ever had, woolies haunting has bled over unto us! D:

[@Oats777]

Where are you jump scare man

[@4Wilko]

After 4:42, everything else is pretty goofy. Also, KZbin died but got better.

[@gogetaSSfive]

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW

[@4Wilko]

There are only Satan rats down here.

[@yoursonisold8743]

Really? *Really* ? It's Constantine: the game. The only scary thing about it is how miscast Keanu Reeves was.

[@uberplatinum1]

Has anyone noticed how good those pre-rendered cutscenes look for 2005? Those look way better than I remember them being when I was a kid.

[@oopirates96]

Woolie probably hacked youtube.

[@Stuebs13]

Please do a full lp of this it seems perfect

[@screamingphoenix8113]

DIDNT SHOW UP BEFORE KZbin CRASHED TO WATCH THIS VIDEO IN TIME SQUAD! WHERE YOU AT!

[@johnathonbrackett9807]

That opening is almost shot for fucking shot. I’m almost impressed.

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

I watched this movie when I was ten, and thought it was pretty alright. Not the best, but I had certainly seen worse, until I got into comics, and REEEEEEEALLY into John Constantine, then I couldn't stand it. I mean, to its credit, the character in the movie named John Constantine in the movie is an interesting and fresh idea for a character in his own right. A cynical private eye with a knack for the occult who's aware of his own inevitable damnation, and seeks to slaughter demons as some sort of penance? That's pretty cool. I can absolutely see it becoming the premise for a slick, End of Days style action flick. What I cannot see is why they felt the need to drag an already existing and beloved IP through the mud and expecting fans not to hate it.

[@CaptainBajam]

I want a full lp of this game! Clearly a fantastic gem in the darkness of the shitstorm!

[@monsterking7676]

Yknow, constantine might make a good let's watch with plague, it's technically horror, it has its own mythos, it's made about a pre existing character, it has interesting designs, and it's stupid, really really stupid.

[@SuccubiPie]

Glad to see they made it out of the KZbin Woolie Hole

[@MultiSharpboy]

DAMN DEMONS THEY BROKE KZbin

[@spoopymcspoops7189]

The moment where you have to watch your favorite bois play scary games on your phone app because KZbin is down on the computer

[@MrDeadcell22]

While KZbin was down I watched a Constantine animated movie where he has a quickie with the city of Los Angeles. Now i'm watching this right after. It's been quite an evening of viewing..

[@deederdude27]

As soon as I saw the levels unlocked, I knew.. this was another case of Matt's nightmares

[@aakbar994]

26:41 Storm Crow strongest card in Magic confirmed!

[@Karuvitomsk]

Pat, Purgatorio's the only realm in Bayo that looks exactly like the real world, since it's basically just a step removed from reality. Paradiso is either bits of reality mashed together or totally different depending on the stage, and Inferno's completely different.

[@RanMouri82]

Hey, I just rewatched that X-Files episode today! It's a great one, so sorry you guys had trouble with it.

[@bluecore7]

This is pure, unadulterated joy. I watched this on a boring ass, cloudy Wednesday on my lunch break at work, and it pumped me the fuck up for the rest of my day. You guys will probably never see this, but this goddamned stupid game was just what I needed today. Thanks for this. Max Payne 2 for lyfe.

[@q306005]

The concept of Hell being a place where demons chase and murder you is just like Dark Souls. They'll kill you, and you just respawn at the nearest Hell bonfire.

[@nucx0]

I literally just watched this on Netflix yesterday for the first time

[@Artyom1247]

Oh now we're back. Anyways I remember playing this game on rental and calling my mom at work to look up cheat codes since we had no home computer. Edit: they didn't know the X-Files video came back?!

[@vampricramen]

You could tell that Constantine movie was going to suck as soon as you saw that WB decided "Constantine" was a better title than "Hellblazer"

[@ghostfear2011]

Vertigo is the adult DC line. Most of it now is straight-up trash.

[@vampricramen]

Thank god we never got a shitty third-person shooter version of Sandman.

[@FuriousGorge]

That pretty much sums up comics in general, anymore.

[@effluviah7544]

Which is a shame, since Vertigo in the 90s was fucking God tier. Books of Magic, anyone? That shit was rad, and had a crossover with Constantine, and you know what just go read old 90s Vertigo books. That's the good stuff.

[@Shadar22]

Matt's joy in this video is infectious

[@thelaughingrouge]

"Pat doesn't understand." Is Pat turning into Speedwagon now?

[@HumbleMemeFarmer]

So spooky, it killed the ai running KZbin. Impressive.

[@C0LDW4RK1D]

When the credits started, I thought it was actually saying that you entered the burning, hell-infested ruins of THQ.

[@roflcopter_launchpad1116]

I'd love to see a collection of the Bestfriends' "Bad Game" aesthetics.

[@LARiotGrrl]

“And then a cleansing rain came...a Heavy Rain.” Constantine Origami Killer confirmed.

[@smashfanwii]

I'm not saying you guys need to do it immediately, but I would love a full playthrough of this

[@mickeyfester]

Oh God, I actually played and finished this game back on the PS2... And I was that young lad/lass saying "please get me Constantine"

[@2geliel]

I remember being like 7 and watching the cow scenes of this movie, I got scared so bad that I had my very first anxiety attack... man I was (and still am) a huge coward.

[@Xp3rt1se]

I am completely with Matt on this. I love the PS2/Xbox era for games just like this!

[@EmillyOrr]

There were two good things in that horrible, horrible movie. Peter Stormare was one, granted. But also, Tilda Swinton as Gabriel, she rocked that role SO hard.

[@112523]

look, all im hoping for is another bug island so you cant drop low enough!

[@ghafc-p8i]

You guys should do a month of forgotten licensed games in like April or something

[@sleepofgiants410]

Hate when people pretend to give a shit about Constantine's blond hair.

[@KingRock9717]

Day-16 After exploring more of the mansion a thought has just hit my head....I gotta play that Constantine video game