Shitstorm V: Shitsurrection - ALAN WAKE

"I turned the corner, afraid of what the flashlight's beam might reveal. Suddenly, a roughly painted symbol of a torch glowed in the light. Behind it, hidden by a rock, sat a battered metal trunk. It was here for a reason, packed with supplies: batteries, flares, ammo. Things you need to make it through the darkness of the night. Something left behind by someone who knew what I knew, and more. It was something I had sorely needed because the night had been one desperate situation after another. I was exhausted and my body felt as though it had been chewed up and spat out. The flashlight was heavy in my hand, and each pull of the trigger sent a painful shock up my arm. But I was finally out of the woods and things were looking up.
That's when I heard the chainsaw, and I knew my attacker would skin my ass raw. Because I knew if this day kept going this way, I'd most likely break something tonight."
Intro By: thomaswack.com/

[@NanamanTheLEGEND]

*Man who lost his arm by putting it in lava smugly refuses to describe what lava feels like*

[@N00BSYBORG]

The whole enemies talking shit thing could be worse. They could be screaming ads for Verizon or Skittles at you.

[@sokumotanaka9271]

N00BSYBORG I would love to hear them yell taste the rainbow

[@dcung8833]

I'd love to hear them yell "like a good neighbor,statefarm is here!"

[@Blacknight8850]

Considering the game has an achievement for stopping in the middle of a chase sequence, turning on a TV and watching a real life car advert I wouldn't have put it past them.

[@dudere]

But Deadites shitalk, and Deadites are cool.

[@N00BSYBORG]

McNally Deadites are awesome but they're intentionally campy. These guys are trying to be scary but they just come off as goofy.

[@brendondellinger355]

Somewhere in the deep Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase, there's a bunch of data floating around that was an Two Best Friends video of them playing Catherine. I will find this video, but first I'm gonna need Tron.

[@Brandonious15987]

While you're in there can you grab that Overwatch video?

[@KeeBlade]

Brendon Dellinger Wow, Scooby-Doo Cyber Chase... that takes me way the fuck back...

[@brendondellinger355]

+Keegan Blade Ah yes. The good old days of VHS where video games came in cartridges and there were no shops set up to buy overpriced dlc XD

[@MakiKuronami]

Did you know? Zombies are essentially the flesh and the skeleton fighting for control over your body.

[@fernandosau1498]

Dude, that's more Deep than Deep Fear

[@AbovetheAgAme]

This theory needs to be universally accepted

[@MinersLoveGames]

You're blowing my mind, man!

[@Hyper_Drud]

Then why is it that zombie bites turn other people into zombies? is it the skeleton biting to free other skeletons or is it the flesh spurring the rest of the flesh to rise up against the bony menace?

[@KaptinScuzgob]

most necromancers are lazy, you can get five or six undead creatures from the same corpse if youre good

[@TheTubePoweredOne]

WHY DOESN'T THIS HAVE "PART ONE" AT THE END!? GAWD.

[@tiptaphooves]

I mean yeah sure, Alan can be a dick, but I can totally relate. Like with his wife and Barry constantly nagging him about writing of course Alan is gonna lash out. It's super irritating to have people shove the thing you love doing in your face when you yourself are frustrated that you can't do it at the moment.

[@RageGearFilms]

Who else is here after the announcement of Alan wake 2? This is one of my fav shitstorms from them. This is such a damn solid video. It’s because of this video that I’m torn we never got to see a full LO

[@blueskysonmars]

No Joke Alan Wake was what I was going to ask.

[@dcung8833]

even more than fighterpedia?

[@nube1oscuras]

SuchALustForFries MY EARS!! WHY ARE THEY BLEEDING WHENEVER YOU MAKE THAT SOUND?! IM FRENZYING!!!

[@archfeymirth]

NO SHUT UP YOU LOVE IT!!!

[@DUES_EX]

BERSERKER!

[@ShelCorporation]

I know it obviously too late, but could you imagine if they forgot to record Omikron for the first couple of episodes.

[@baphometsvoice6271]

MR. IDONOTCARE they definitely wish they had

[@ghostfear2011]

Alan Wake is rated T and it came out in 2010.

[@letthatchildalone7843]

Gotta stay Alan *Woke*.

[@johnkramer2144]

God, this game is 6 years old? Well, this makes me feel old.

[@thelaughingrouge]

So how long till this video gets taken down because Matt forgot to not play the song at the end?

[@SorakuFett]

Almost every Shitstorm has had an episode turn into a full LP, right? Like SOMA, Eternal Darkness and Rule of Rose. I vote this gets the LP.

[@bleedthesecolours]

It's generally the 31st video though...

[@atreides213]

Opening a new tab on my web browser, I went to KZbin and clicked on my subscription box. I scrolled through the videos for a moment before my eyes lit on a new Best Friends video. Slowly, my lips pulled back in a grimace as I imagined the shitstorm awaiting me. Having no other option, I clicked on the video.

[@MrManny9494]

God this was such a good game. I remember getting it when I was still in high school in a discount bin and it was one of the first games I got when I got my 360. To this day its still one of my favorite games. I swear the rock concert sequence is one of my favorite in any video game.

[@DeltaD36]

Chapter 3's ending theme is the best theme. "Up Jumped the Devil" was the best transition piece.

[@Griff48432]

This game also put me onto "in dreams" and "how can i be sure", i thought they were usually fairly excellent

[@jamesloucks2562]

a mad dog? No. the CLOSEST you will ever get to a real life monster is the horrors you see during Sleep Paralysis.

[@SilverZephyr09]

James Loucks that shit sucks.

[@sokumotanaka9271]

James Loucks gaaaah I'm getting war flashbacks

[@SlimJhm]

Try having a sleep paralysis nightmare of a mad monster dog. Shit's not great.

[@LuckeeStrikee]

Yeah but they're not real. The closest thing would probably be a hungry shark or whatever.

[@lodestarrobot]

Luckee Strikee the realest thing to a monster is just woolie

[@mexicangoose6461]

I'm calling it that Nintendo will sue the Zaibatsu for having "Switch" in their channel name

[@Vekkimaxx]

or vice versa!

[@mexicangoose6461]

OfficialChunLi Could be possible, Nintendo could try to market their console to the youth by calling it the "Sw1tch"

[@dcung8833]

I honestly thought the dock it came with was a toaster

[@MassayukiSama]

Pat has already said that the name is dumb and they should change it, but KZbin probably doesn't let them.

[@Sigismund697]

what theirs? or the Switch's? because as far as I remember Matt said it was called Theswitcher until he got a flagging message and the channel was taken down and had to remake it was TheSw1tcher

[@MinersLoveGames]

Alan Wake was one of the first game I ever played without looking at the strategy guide first. It made the experience so much more enjoyable. A lot of people had issues with the game, but personally, it's on my top ten list.

[@RoosterCogburnPhD]

[TBFP BANNED EPISODE] hyper realistic pat, and hyper realistic matt

[@kekula69]

RoosterCogburnPhD a blood blood blood blood blood with a blood blood wrapped around his blood blood with a blood blood on his blood

[@coreenadunham8199]

Cutie Pyro they picked up this game at a garage sale from an old man...the label gone but Alan Wake was written crudely in permanent marker on the disc...

[@bondage-chan9738]

Shitstorm Secrets 19: Brennan Williams comes from the timeline in which Woolie _did_ in fact, know what he was messing with, and therefore knew how to use it to make him a better man. Taller, stronger and more handsome, upon being transported to this world, Brennan sought out his local wrestling outlet and put in his application. He was accepted before they even looked at it and was allowed to do as much anime shit as he wanted. The reason for this was because It's a little-known fact that Brennan's Nico Nico Knee actually inspired the entire Love-Live franchise due to some weird time bullshit caused by McCloud's huge furry dick. All hail the Shogun of The Row! Also, for the confused viewer, there was an 18th secret last video, it just got sandbagged super hard.

[@Samm815]

Whose Brennan Williams?

[@timg5603]

bondage-chan I couldn't find your lore comment in the last video! wah happan? edit: shit didn't read the last part. any chance you can post it in a reply?

[@bondage-chan9738]

Tim G It got ignored super hard. It's there, but it's at like the bottom, probably.

[@timg5603]

Bondage-chan any chance we can get a repeat in the reply?

[@bondage-chan9738]

Shitstorm Secrets Vol. 18: We regretfully inform you that there will be no secret today. Be safe out there, you guys. Look both ways when you cross the road. Buckle your seatbelts. Always check your back seat. Ensure your mirrors are adjusted well. Don't drive drunk. Don't text and drive. Make sure you have someone to keep you awake while driving late at night. Don't look into the rearview. Keep your eyes on the road, but don't look out your side windows. When leaving your car, do not stare at the sky for more than three seconds at a time unless it is cloudless. If you find yourself in a forest, remember to turn off your headlights. It's a cruel world we live in, friends. Stay alert. Stay safe.

[@A-Saxy-Bard]

I always like the videos where the Best Friends are really positive about the game.

[@William_Sk]

Yeah, except for Matt having stupid complaints about trivial things that appear in most games.

[@rodney2x48]

Alan Wake was my first ever Xbox360 game and it remains as one of my favorite games of all time. It's so good.

[@treefingers6572]

Pat: "we already recorded an episode for shitstorm!" Me: **cluelessly, naively scrolls through search feed to find second video, failing to recall Pat's magnetism to failure** Pat: "I forgot to hit the record button on Audacity!" **I stop scrolling, sigh, and slowly tilt my head up from my phone to stare ahead**

[@Samm815]

"In my silent dreams, I see that game: Allen Wake. I promised myself i'd play it one day... but i never did."

[@HereCumsTracer]

Cause remember kids, enjoying a game means "sucking its dick"

[@SuperPixelRush]

You know, no joke, this is actually a game I really, really like. I really enjoyed my playthrough of it, regardless of how kinda janky it is.

[@Artyom1247]

damn good cup of coffee

[@Artyom1247]

also if you think Thomas Zane's voice sounds familiar, it's because it's James McCaffrey, the voice actor for Max Payne.

[@CheetahsArePrettyCool]

rewatching this and I forgot how fun this Shitstorm intro is, hehehe

[@KurtGantz]

My guess is the song Matt's talking about is "The Poet and the Muse" by the Old Gods of Asgard. I still get chills just thinking about that track.

[@itjuststartedraining]

I fucking miss you guys

[@tbonevideos23]

Using your spouses phobia just so they can't nag you I now want a scene of a full grown man wearing a spider costume JUST SO his wife would leave him alone

[@FreeDjinn]

You and your friends have such nice big spookys mmmmm I can't wait to drain them all and get covered in scary.

[@MinersLoveGames]

What about the Throbbos?

[@ziongamer6905]

+MinersLoveGames Mmmmmm, Throbbos and Spookys...we're being treating like we deserve to be.

[@spinachtron]

They didn't play the jukebox I am crying in a corner

[@PR0MAN01]

I've been waiting for an Alan Wake LP for so long. This will do for now

[@He11Jumper]

[*cries loudly*]

[@kulbrez4884]

Any death where you can physically see a way out of it, but can't reach out to it, is horrible.

[@covenitadhd]

you guys are wrong the best character was the two 80 year old men that were basically thor and odin

[@SwagbitoUchiha]

Those dudes were the best. It wasn't until years later I figured out they were a real thing. My favorite bit of the game was when you're on stage and shit's going nuts.

[@rodney2x48]

La Squadra di Esecuzione The song used in the stage part is called Children of the Elder God. It's my favorite song in the entire game and it's great that it plays in the best part of the game.

[@SwagbitoUchiha]

Surprised Robot Other than Space Oddity, I agree with you.

[@William_Sk]

This game has the best soundtrack! Poets of The Fall (Old Gods) Roy Orbison David Bowie Nick Cave

[@gambucino1260]

covenitadhd that Dragon level was really cool loved that

[@Murphiroth]

I personally loved the way the enemies would shout random shit in Alan Wake. I actually think they're scarier that way as it alludes to the idea that they're still in there somewhere. Plus "OMEGA FATTY ACIDS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR HEEEAARTT!" will never stop cracking me up.

[@obermegalutschoar]

"You missed your deadline!" Is there more evil moonstar dialogue like this? "The pen ain't mighter than this sword!" "You're out of print, Alan!" "I can inflict 95 WPM (wounds per minute)!" "I'll auto-correct your ass!"

[@coolguyman16]

"I'm gonna cut you out of the script!"

[@MantraMan2077]

SlimeQueenSupreme "The Board just wants to make a TINY change to your SCRIPT Alan!"

[@William_Sk]

Yes! An hour of the best friends talking about my favorite game! I've been waiting for this for 4 years.

[@probablytyler260]

Why not just do a playthrough of this? You both seem to enjoy it

[@probablytyler260]

Okay yeah you answered that question at the end of the video fair enough

[@BirdRaiserE]

The most extreme game of flashlight tag EVER

[@magicrectangleEnt]

This game is proof that what's really important is attention to detail, not chasing technology buzzwords. This game was probably 540p originally, and all you have to do is upscale it and it looks goddamn beautiful.

[@MinersLoveGames]

God, I love this game. The writing is absolutely superb.

[@repyukJC]

joining in the inevitable throng of "oh god please play this game after the shitstorm"

[@RickJaeger]

16:19 YOU ALL WATCHED IT DIDN'T YOU YOU ALL WATCHED IT, HOOK LINE AND SINKER EVEN MY FAMILY EVEN MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY WATCHED IT

[@TomatoAbe]

Ricky Jaeger We're all Austin now!

[@MegaRazor619]

AW SON OF A BITCH

[@Ohnonoki]

This is the story of a man combatting hillybillys in black face

[@katelynb4597]

I love when Matt references The Descent. Really good horror film

[@RanMouri82]

While it would make no sense for Alan to choose a dark cabin in the woods for vacation, it does make sense that his wife, the one with the crippling phobia, chose it. She was trying to get help for her husband's writing problem and was willing to endure it.

[@MegaTyler93]

OMG MATT! He's the only other person I know of who actually would've preferred the open world design originally which I agree would've been 1000x better and almost no one agrees unfortunately.

[@Texshy]

I would've like to see the open world part too

[@SleeprunnerInc]

We would either have ended up with something great OR we would have ended up with a Deadly Premonition open world which would... not be that good for an Alan Wake game. I mean theres a reason that stuff is like it is because you would most likely jump over alot of things or get stuck figuring where to go.

[@MegaTyler93]

SleeprunnerInc SnakeInc I can see what you mean, but the elements that was part of the open world, such as the driving parts and the early levels of Alan Wake were great. And American Nightmare took much more of the open world approach and did great with it, though they flubbed it up with the fact that the open world levels were disconnected and once you moved forward to the next, you couldn't go back.

[@TheStrxggler]

CANT WAKE UP

[@AbovetheAgAme]

LAY ME DOWN

[@Hejeval]

SAAAVE MEEE

[@Shayman94]

SAVVEE ME FROM MY SELFFF~~

[@Exaggeratedreality]

Ive always wanted a full playthrough of this. Placing my request for after the shitstorm in the bucket

[@AE1OU]

I'm waiting for a point in the game when it clearly shows that its Energizer batteries and not Duracell and these scrublords feel soooo embarrased~

[@atakkuuuuu]

that "dog chasing you" thing happened to me during college because my dorms lived near a railroad track and supposedly there were a pack of stray dogs that lived there but like, they were so fast that even when i was on my bike, they chased me around for a good mile.

[@EstukoV]

I almost forget about Alan -can't- wake -up- I wonder what prompts the SBFP on what games to play for the shitstorms, I hope they end really strong.

[@thepickles8833]

I hope it ends on a new Silent Hill LP since we're way over due for one.

[@mindshuffler3332]

Mother Rinko Well well well, if it isn't the two most popular commenters in the same comment chain. Small world...Internet....place.

[@EstukoV]

LatinoCracy1 You're unfortunately right, Anatomy was an incredibly strong start. But I think it was a bit too strong of a start.

[@mindshuffler3332]

Guys aren't forgetting the spookiest of the Shitstorm: The Ride to Hell: Retribution LP

[@thepickles8833]

LatinoCracy1 In terms of scares, yes. But these are great games for yucking it up and I think that counts for something. I'm okay with a funny Halloween once in a while over a scary one. I think this year's lineup is fantastic.

[@sharkgutz3076]

odin and tor anderson are the driving force for my undying love for this game, they are just such fuckin cool and fun characters

[@SecondCitySavior6969]

Wake him up inside

[@AbovetheAgAme]

...inside?

[@theepichobo9758]

save him

[@BirdRaiserE]

6349 256 before you go go Wait no CANT WAKE UP

[@Neodeleux]

CAN'T WAKE UP

[@MinersLoveGames]

One of best things about Alan Wake is that the strategy guide is basically a 1:1 novelization of the game itself.

[@thepond1193]

I love the fact that pats like, "You can pick it up for like a dollar" and the ad in the corner says buy alan wake for $34.95

[@dcung8833]

They say the strange body of water in brightfalls with a cabin in the center is a hole to another dimension...the local clergyman asks tourists to bring pies and worthy donations to the lake...most brightfallers call this the Woolie Hole...a horrible eldritch horror which inspired H.P. Lovecraft was sighted when he donated pies to the Hole...he said it blazed with blue inside a cage filled with sexual frustrations and sufferings

[@Zabasu]

its Oktober ... and i miss this so much ...

[@masterchef87]

greetings from 2019 where i just finished watching Pat play Control

[@Toffeehammer]

"I don't think we'll ever do a full playthrough" Well, that's it. Get ready for the full playthrough folks!

[@He11Jumper]

T-T

[@danielbird3311]

Man I really want a full LP of this game it's in my top 10 easy love to hear their thoughts through the whole thing

[@zombie_dinosaur96]

Alan Wake 2 baby lets goo!!!!

[@mindshuffler3332]

Alan WAKE ME UP, WHEN IT'S OVER!

[@DrakeSilvos]

Maybe this one will turn out like Soma did.

[@murphyslaw_1776]

Drake Silvos Maybe...

[@dudere]

They weren't kidding when they say you have to climb a mountain. The environments are huge and you have to get to places in real time. That is a cool adventure to play personally, but probably makes a tedious LP.

[@premiumcache6184]

Hopefully not.

[@TheMerkWithTheMouth]

I am actually at a loss. Why don't you take this one, Inuyasha Guy?

[@0rriAndroid]

i bet alan wake wrote a blazblue novelization

[@thepickles8833]

...and it lacked Fighting by 100%

[@0rriAndroid]

it was a character study of yuuki terumi, the greatest of all

[@fernandosau1498]

The Pickles And most of the characters aren't even relevant to the plot

[@AfroMetalMizu]

I'll give you something to take solace in...Hex Maniac is done ;3

[@0rriAndroid]

"ma'am, we need to know everything you experienced in the presence of the creature, nosferpatu" " *he used to dip his bald head in oil and rub it all ovah muh body* "

[@SakoresDark]

I like that one joke they made where they said they aren't gonna do a full playthrough hahahahaha

[@He11Jumper]

hahahahaha

[@SakoresDark]

@@He11Jumper any day now....just you wait! :)

[@SteelBallRun1890]

49:30 Pat says this machine would be the most broken thing in existence, and then says how does King Crimson work. This machine's effect is pretty much how D4C Love Train works in Part 7, it redirects the bad outcomes and just leaves you in eternal good fortune.

[@StrickenWithFear]

I've been waiting for so long!

[@TheShinyDunsparce]

God this game is so good, so of course we won't get a full LP

[@He11Jumper]

we sure won't.

[@LikeABoxman]

I guess this is where Kojima got his blacklight idea from

[@brunomunemassa8266]

16:01 that conversation makes me think i should be more concerned when i see quality work appearing on the channel...

[@BBXcompany]

best shitstorm opening

[@peng226]

I'm so glad they're not doing a full play-through.

[@TheTau1]

I liked the justification for Wake's familiarity with firearms. A writer of all sorts of thrillers and some crime novels doing hands on research with guns for his novel makes sense. And they don't exceed handguns and hunting firearms in the original game so it fits. Whereas american nightmare it's fine for them to go nuts.

[@bradleymadden4709]

Soo when's the Alan Wake film coming out? Just don't give it to the people that were making the Gears of war, Halo, and BioShock films.

[@YARGGG_GG]

This was fun. :) Definitely hoping for a full playthrough at some point though.

[@MalisinECila]

The playthrough we want, but no one deserves.

[@JeedyJay]

One of the things I really love about this game's combat is that even though Alan uses a low-caliber "purse gun" type revolver, it feels impactful and satisfying to shoot. It really helps with the scrappy "survival" feel of the action.

[@JeedyJay]

Oh, hey, Pat agrees with me.

[@William_Sk]

Purse gun? Man, that's a python and they are loud as thunder.

[@TopSecretName]

After all these years they finally made the Alan Wake video! full lp pls

[@thehelpmeyo]

a full lets play of this would be great

[@violenceandpoetry]

This game needs a full LP.

[@Hepathos]

I really, REALLY disagree with matt on how he thinks its creepier when the enemies dont talk. Personally, I love whe they shittalk or babble crazy, it gives so much atmosphere to them

[@elb0w]

Hepathos

[@SuperArppis]

For me it's always creepier when they don't talk, when they are animated in unnatural way and behave in unexpected manner. The less they are human-like, the more scary they are. The more alien they are, the more terrifying they feel. Like the zombies in the first Resident Evil were creepy, because of how they moved.

[@jjj7790]

I agree with Matt on enemies being creepier, because there's a certain level of humanity and coherence that you can give to a monster where you stop wanting to run away and start wanting to deck them with a chair for being a smart-ass.

[@GreedAndSelfishness]

The game is not that scary in the first place so making the Taken shittalk adds to the charm of the game.

[@Beowulf8989]

55:30 My favorite version of that is from Return of the Living Dead. The heroes are barricaded in a funeral home and trying to survive a zombie onslaught. A cop car swings by and the cop gets like one word out before he's swarmed by zombies. Then the zombies get on the radio and tell the cops to send more troopers.

[@DangerIncFilms]

Here's the thing with that last level, there's is a big driving section, yeah, but there's also a significantly *bigger* section on foot while being swamped in enemies that requires maximizing the use of your flashbangs and flares.

[@elronman]

I just realised it's a fighting game cabinet.

[@mattsmith8769]

"Look at how good this feels" Ok Pat, whatever you say

[@RascheTheRabbit]

Think about it, Alan walks up to a gas station just holding a shotgun in his hand. It's good that nobody was immediately there.

[@andrewgarcia3761]

I didn't realize how much I loved this game until I felt I was excited to see this was up

[@KatTheGamerGalYT]

Now THIS game was my shit. I absolutely love this game! The one game I literally checked up on every day of my senior year in high school, because dammit, this game was so cool! Back in 2010, this was my game. I will never forget it... never! ❤

[@thewizardgamer1185]

I like this episode because my name is Alan and when they talk to Alan I like to pretend that their talking to me.

[@globox123456789]

I love how that guy was all like "Hey, Alan, it's me, Clay Steward, remember me?" and Pat just runs past him and the door slams shut. Also, why didn't he *DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODGE?*

[@noahwest8418]

This game introduced me to Poets of the Fall

[@kfrenchiiee]

I miss the sbf 😔 youtube isnt the same

[@thelaughingrouge]

For how much you guys referred to this game it's about time we got this. Now... FULL LP! FULL LP!

[@Evker0]

Finally! Now we just need a full play through. Although that's hard with all the music.

[@6powersofM]

I'm not sure how, but the first time I watched this video, 5 seconds in I had to stop because I was effected by spontaneous diarrhea. Seems like the Shitstorm is working

[@PinkManGuy]

This was the first "horror" game I made myself play. So many good memories.

[@MinersLoveGames]

A combination of Stephen King, Twin Peaks, and H.P. Lovecraft, it's a truly unique experience, that's for sure.

[@PinkManGuy]

I played this game a million times on the 360, and it looks absolutely beautiful and runs great on the PC. Definitely recommend buying full price off of steam now that GFWL is dead.

[@fuzzyasian]

It's my favorite game ever made. It has so many things in it that I absolutely love and always wanted in a game. The first time I played it, it felt like the developers went into my head and made the perfect game just for me. I played it so many times and got every achievement in the game just so I could experience everything the game had to offer. I go back and replay it at least once a year along with Resident Evil 4 and I have a blast every single time.

[@johntrains1317]

" that's when I knew the attacker with skin my ass raw"?! I'm lmfao. fuking Matt!

[@Nignucs1]

I know you said you wouldn't, but please do a full LP for this game. I have been holding out hope for about 4yrs now that you guys would, and now you have given me a taste of the candy AND I WANT MORE!!!... Please.