Shitstorm VI - Darkwood (Part 2/2)

Intro by VoltaBass
Fifth Night - I spent my day looking outside my window today... There's straight-up a bonfire right there in the courtyard, and people are just throwing each other into it. This is madness. Thank goodness I'm still safe in my apartment. But for how long? This shitstorm is already lasting too long.
-Billy

[@BYToady]

For someone that's played so much Dark Souls you'd think he'd figure out you need stop sprinting before your stamina hit 0 and to let it recover!

[@CrazyGunMan100]

That house they visited with the cornfield and harvester has a super fun event. Kinda sad they didn't get to see it.

[@JohnFrancisVillines]

Need the invitation, yeah? I missed it on my first playthrough because I was a scared little elf.

[@chadrageus]

DANCE WITH ME!

[@SteelBallRun1890]

"There was a Jesus here, but he's gone now." - Apostles when looking inside the burial cave of Jesus

[@thepickles8833]

well... I know why if we're talking the Apostles from Berserk... *_"They're eating him... And Then They're Gonna Eat ME..!_*

[@FlameOfUdun96]

Were there behelits involved?

[@Dabednego]

Judas did nothing wrong

[@0rriAndroid]

You've always been riding my coattails! -Judas Sparrow

[@GrantBrownDog]

Judas looking in a Silent Hill rest stop mirror. "Jesus...can you really be in this town?"

[@WolfAnge23]

"It's just the wind" "Yeah right. When's the last time the wind said HOSTILES to you"

[@darkraioxxx]

Wolfangel23 Last week in pumpkin Hill

[@lastgengamers1137]

nature is a cruel mistress

[@ScarceCastle2]

_Deeper and deeper we go,_ _Into the Woolie Hole, oh no!_ _With great hero Matt,_ _And big coward Pat,_ _Deeper and deeper we go._

[@Nagassh]

>Trader drops his huge sack on the ground, revealing it's contents >TRADE Pat: "HE GAVE ME A SACK?" Is this the kind of player that the Bioshock bell puzzle is designed for?

[@Paradox949]

Nagassh He's definitely the kind of player that most developers bend over backwards for; a filthy casual who can't read.

[@sirromanov3038]

Nagassh I think it may be his Stand

[@flyinggeneral]

He's the kind of player that doesn't get the simple light puzzle from RE4 on the first try.

[@LuckeeStrikee]

He's the kind of player who has to do a bunch of videos while talking to another person who also have to do a bunch videos. The reason is always the same guys, it's not like it changes from week to week.

[@phantomspaceman]

"It'll never get me in here... ARGGH" Yeah, that's what it was.

[@angrybrony]

i think this new into is just them discovering omikron

[@tailedgates9]

Or RE-discovering it since they lost their memories from before due to how bad it was.

[@davidvillarrius6313]

angrybrony Excellent comment.

[@angrybrony]

so just hell?

[@kakoytazabar]

Not just Hell. Worse...

[@TheGrizzlo503]

omikron wishes it was that cool or well animated

[@MrStatistx]

Pat, if you ever want to continue this:the workshop is basically your storage. No need to put it into drawers and shit

[@MrStatistx]

Also you can drag and push those lights around so best to put them all into a secure place

[@MrStatistx]

You couldn't use the saw cause you couldn't find the right button.. Serves you right for using controller in a game that plays fine with mouse and keyboard :p

[@GilbertDeer]

MrStatistx Just so I can know, what does the fungus>oven>syringe stuff do?

[@ChromeWisp]

So mushrooms (and a couple other items?) can be turned into essence at the oven, which is like experience points because when you get enough, you level up, which means you get to pick a new ability (stuff like seeing better, or regenerating near electric lights once a day, etc.) but sometimes you also need to pick a flaw (like make wild animal more likely to attack you) for that new level too.

[@AmazingAutist]

@@MrStatistx but not everybody is good with a mouse and keyboard, why do people opt to use controller.

[@Smoofyful]

Pat is way too young and handsome in that animated intro. He's a Jojo reference now.

[@mrrdirty6198]

Smoofyful It looks more like Attack on Titan, but I see what you mean.

[@Smoofyful]

Don Freecs It's the eyes. The perculiar expression and maybe the thickness of the line. The shadow contrast too.

[@iller3]

Sonna deh Biieetch!

[@namegoeshere5220]

Smoofyful I'm pretty sure the Zaibatsu itself no longer exists, and has become the Jojo.

[@Smoofyful]

William Bussey kimi wa no zaibatsu. Scrublord Crusaders. Marvel tendency.

[@walkingerection4438]

You may all now refer to me as the Pulsating Red Mushroom.

[@xXGodofTecknoXx]

I can't _possibly_ hold all of this libido in my two grimy clutches!

[@Manfromthenorth0551]

26:11 *[CRAZY TALK]* ACTIVATE!

[@MisanthropicMarxist]

Statement: I can neither confirm nor deny that I skinned a wolf and am now using its pelt as a disguise, meatbag

[@sirromanov3038]

The lore is that I believe he's some weird mutant thing that is a byproduct of the whole treepocalypse

[@DuranMK2]

@@sirromanov3038 Yeah, the fine details are never specified, but he's supposedly the result of what are basically shitty clones of a wolf and a hunter getting fused together, so he has many of the hunter's memories, but the instincts of the wolf, and is apparently an anthropomorphic wolf in appearance (so the token furbait, essentially). Being a weird mutant, all the locals are afraid of him and treated him like garbage, which is at least part of why he's such a bitter, cynical asshole towards everyone (except for you, if you kill the sow and give him the key). To be honest, he's kinda my favorite character in the game, if only because he's such a huge dirtbag, but knows it and sort of revels in it, like the kind of person who would unironically consider Dennis Leary - I'm An Asshole to be their theme song. I feel like you don't often get to see characters like that in games without them being strictly antagonists.

[@goodvillain1015]

Darkwood Duck! When there's trouble, you call DW! Darkwood Duck!

[@0rriAndroid]

Let's.Get.Dangerous.

[@goblindotbest]

Haven't had such a difficult to watch episode in a while. I haven't even played this game and I just want to say "yo pat do that thing"

[@everettvonscott]

I started this game a week ago completely blank on everything about it and got it pretty fast,. The shit he misses so early on and fails to understand is ridiculous.

[@goblindotbest]

That being said though I understand ya can't be good at everything first try and video pressure is extra, but eyyyyeeeeeehhhhhhhhh

[@eldwitchx]

God I love them but I think I hurt my forehead from smacking it. This was genuinely painful to watch. At least they always have their dashing personalities and humor to make up for it.

[@everettvonscott]

+Video James I usually don't mind when people don't get things right away, not everyone does. This just irked me the wrong way by how he played.

[@Renosoft]

What did they miss? I've never played this so I have no clue what was supposed to happen or what were they supposed to be doing

[@wanderer1636]

Anybody else having nervous breakdowns over how Pat uses the sprint button every single chance he gets, instead of walking for about 5 seconds so that he can sprint way longer? I mean, I got myself to stop looking at the screen eventually so it's fine but sometimes I forget and *INHALES SHARPLY*

[@GrantBrownDog]

Wolf-Man (Ah-Ah-Ah) Fighter of the Darkwood (Ah-Ah-Ah) Champion of the Meat (Ah-Ah-Ah) You're a Master of Bartering, and Gossip for Everyone.

[@thepickles8833]

"Stop, stop.... it sounds like a Wolf-Man breaks into your house and rapes you."

[@Tekh09]

You know what this is, meat.

[@mrjohnnyjohnster3940]

After eating all those mushrooms, your character would be a pretty FUNGI. All these plants should be killed for TREESON. Thank you, I'm here all week.

[@Hyper_Drud]

MrJohnnyJohnster please LEAF.

[@StriderWolf]

I love that as canadians, they know not to get anywhere near a moose.

[@smartesttemmie]

The amount of shit they miss....

[@MajorBronsPonies]

Right? watching Pat play this was mildly infuriating.

[@smartesttemmie]

"DURR DURR HOW DO MAKE PLANKS" fuckin hell, dude

[@lastgengamers1137]

I think you are expecting way too much from a dwarf that flunked out of basic dwarf school.

[@thelaughingrouge]

"It'll never get me now! *CRAZY TALK ACTIVAAAAATE!!!*

[@GhengisJohn]

Man even Sunless Sea had some mirth in it. Cities full of people to visit, a few cheerful locales like Pigmote isle and some humor in some of the quests, descriptions and locations. This is just like all bleak, all the time.

[@vtech325]

Full LP please. I get the feeling this shitstorm is going to be full of Full LP quality games.

[@everettvonscott]

No, please no. Two videos of them missing things constantly and not understanding simple mechanics is enough.

[@SiegmundCG]

Yeah feels like my favorite LP Danganronpa UDG all over again

[@DuckieMcduck]

They wouldn't be able to beat this game under a reasonable timeframe.

[@MakiKuronami]

SPOOKY SUPERNATURAL TRIVIA: There's a giant eight foot tall ghost lady in Japan called Hasshaku-sama. Her recognizeable appearance is that of a white dress and a hat. And her being eight feet fucking tall. Her appearance tends to vary for person to person. It's basically a japanese Slenderman who goes "Popopopopo" with a semi masculine voice when she's around. She does The Ring thing and whoever sees her/whoever she falls in love with (She REALLY likes young boys.) will die in a few days or so. There's a few specific wards to counter her such as using your own relatives to fool her to get out of her ghost range, salt, amulets and praying to Buddha in a sealed room. For a while, she was sealed off in a specific region in Japan by Jizo statues. Apparently one of them's been broken already. Also, she's for a creepypasta contest just like Slenderman. She's been featured in a Touhou fighting game, was in the recent Fatal Frame and apparently had a Hentai featuring her.

[@0rriAndroid]

*A few hentai

[@joekewl7539]

You gonna link that Hentai or what, fucko?

[@0rriAndroid]

Toshi Densetsu Series 3(?)

[@kingcaesar3693]

So we've all seen that hentai?

[@vagabond_6639]

Pretty sure everyone in this comment thread has seen the hentai.

[@TheStrxggler]

Man, Treebeard is pissed...

[@FlameOfUdun96]

Hang on, Billy! We believe in you! Don't let those damn cultists get you down!

[@Samm815]

You came here out of nowhere. Where did you come from Mr. Flames?

[@L1qu1d-2qu1d]

Flame of Udun going by the story of billy I am convinced that the silent hill they'll play at the end of the Shit Storm is Silent Hill 4

[@brian.jrmontoya3227]

Sam Lucas as I recall, an apostle with computer powers? I think.

[@FlameOfUdun96]

Brian. Jr Montoya exactly!

[@GBDupree]

I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation for the bonfire thing, is it hockey season in Canada?

[@KeroKaminaX]

"let's go outside at the end of the video to see what's out there" doesn't turn on torch ot get a better view

[@GBDupree]

Torch ran out before they went back outside.

[@lowpolybreakfast]

I feel like l don't even come for the shitstorm anymore, I just looked forward to these Billy quotes.

[@ZackofSpades]

"I have twelve metchsteek" Probably my favorite Penny Arcade comic. Love this reference.

[@thepickles8833]

*Darkwood:* _"the pink elephant... quickly."_

[@TheStrxggler]

*_GIVE ME THE FUCKING ELEPHANT!_*

[@goodvillain1015]

TAKE THE FUCKING ELEPHANT!

[@Samm815]

*WHO WANTS A PINK ELEPHANT?*

[@MChill]

Throw the rubber ducky at it!!

[@thepickles8833]

"He's A Freak-He's A Freak-He's A Freak~" No, Dr. Giggles, Noooo!

[@NeoZeta]

Pat almost getting killed by the moose was the best thing in the video. LMFAO~ I almost died of laughter. Don't mess with the moose, bro! XD

[@brian.jrmontoya3227]

DARKNESS!!! IMPRISONING ME!!!! ALL THAT I SEE!!! ABSOLUTE HORROR!!!!! I CANNOT LIVE!!!! I CANNOT BREATHE!!!!! I DONT KNOW THE WORDS!!!!!!

[@mrjohnnyjohnster3940]

Brian. Jr Montoya The next bit goes "Rarara-rah. Rarara-rah. Rarara-rah."

[@darrelsam419]

There's so much stuff in this game that freaks me out: the forest apparently consumes roads and houses, corpses get absorbed by tree roots, pulsating mushrooms and grass, and apparently this world somehow has furries like wolfman as well. Interesting to know that furries will survive the coming forest-apocalypse.

[@sirromanov3038]

Dawn Darrell Samaitha The nature curse likes people who are in touch with their animal side apparently.

[@IamlordEVIL]

"It'll never get me now" -T. Man who got got.

[@valenticu]

22:43 Did Matt just call Pat Woolie?

[@BrBetim]

Van T LORE

[@DarknessViper99]

Oh, I get it. It's cuz they're *BLACK*

[@fogblades6811]

I love how Pat never notices the white stamina meter.

[@anthemlog]

The two Canadians see a moose as the most dangerous thing in this game lol

[@Deepishpls]

This game has a pretty spooky atmosphere, but what horrifies me most is Pat's refusal to investigate the environment properly.

[@Apollomasque]

Wolfman is the physical incarnation of the "*teleports behind you* Better luck next time, kid" meme

[@joekewl7539]

Oh boy, The Spookstorm of Shittiness returns!

[@MChill]

Welcome to the Darkwood, son!

[@iamnuff1992]

''It's so dark'' (said over and over) You have a torch man. Use it.

[@GuyUWishUWere]

Soooo with Wolf man and that crawling dude at the shrine I'm wondering if this Darkwood is slowly turning people into furries?

[@GuyUWishUWere]

Dear mr. everet von scott. I realize you have replied to me but unfortunately due to issues with KZbin's bullshit layout I cannot read your comment in it's entirety. I would however like to answer the question you have raised. Unfortunately I do not know what a furry actually is. My best guess is it is an individual sexually attracted to anthropomorphised animals(something that is not seen in this game), and not an anthropromorphised animal itself(something which is seen in this game). The point I was attempting to make is that the crawling man and the wolf man both posses animal and human characteristics, whether in locomotion or in form, and I thought perhaps the titular 'Darkwood' was responsible for this phenomenon. TLDR: FUUUUUUUCK YOU!!!!!

[@GuyUWishUWere]

Also what are animal clothes? Do deer wear pants when I'm not looking?

[@SciFiMangaGamesAnime]

What else we could expect from Plague's farm.

[@BroadBoulders]

It feels like a devolutionary disease right?

[@GuyUWishUWere]

Nujabessence Or a mutagen spill. I bet this game gets really freaky when Bebop and Rocksteady show up

[@cryostat484]

This was actually painful to watch

[@bearlyismyname]

Pat: "It'll never get me now." Moose: Immediately kicks Pat's shit in

[@InVinoVeratas]

Tree-goo chronicles continues. Now with more RE Moss monstars.

[@Rageaholic2213]

Was about to say that moose is probably the most dangerous fuckin thing you're gonna come across.

[@MChill]

Billy, you mustn't throw yourself into the bonfire! *Don't give in*

[@TheFuryHasCome]

On the 5th night of Shitstorm The Best Friends gave to me: 5 Craft Mechanics 4 Evil Dead Trees 3 Insane Seizures 2 Big Dumb Cowards and a Blind Woman yelling help me!

[@davidvillarrius6313]

It's okay Billy, that's just how scientologists show each other affection.

[@swizzler]

I like how Pat is so used to Matt calling him woolie he didn't even acknowledge it.

[@masochisticmeese3555]

I know this is far from your regular content, but I'd be interested in seeing more of this!

[@SHOTRED555]

I would love to see these guys do a whole full finish playthrough of this game that would be fun.

[@kovulion7777]

It is a Plague simulator, there's already your furry wolfman! He'll draw sexy furry versions of that guy at night

[@goodvillain1015]

Off topic: It was recently found out about something Telltale did with their Batman game that was fucked up. As if their writing was lazy enough, they reached a new low by using the image of the dead body of the Russian ambassador who was assassinated a year ago into the bat computer photo.

[@0rriAndroid]

...did they just have that laying around their office?

[@SplodeyJesus]

Good fuck Russia

[@Rysuko1]

That's fucked up boi i.imgur.com/gOsWokj.png i.imgur.com/SmgZFfC.jpg

[@makeda6530]

O-oh...

[@bobparker465]

But y tho

[@lifeiscrap103]

Don't worry, Billy. Because it's a Bonfire, they'll just respawn there anyways.

[@DiscordOfDave]

Remember kids, don't go out at night or Woolie might attack you for your pie.

[@JohnFrancisVillines]

I love that 33:30 was actually just a fantastic coincidence, and Matt and Pat didn't get to see the actual threat of the nighttime... this game is so brilliant.

[@dreamcatcherpone]

Pat: "It'll never get me now." 『C R A Z Y T A L K』 Activate

[@GrinningMarionette]

I love how dawn is the most ominous shit in Darkwood.

[@WolfAnge23]

Talim tells the wind to make the forest spooky

[@RebelCannonClub74]

"an evil hundred acre woods" Mat, hundred acres woods was already evil

[@TheMatto424]

This is one of two games I can think of where trees are super bad evil things, the only other one I can think of right now has this big old evil tree that ate a man alive take over a lumber-mill and start pumping out literal mindless puppets made of a mixture of wood and dead bodies, also lumberjacks are there too and they're okay with it. Illbleed was a weird game.

[@AJPwny]

Deadly Premonition, the top-tier horror classic, had a great many evil trees

[@TarvynSero]

7:03 them mentioning Dragon's Dogma and knowing they won't ever LP it made me sad again. :(

[@AshlynOne]

Billy, just go into your closet and hide under all your coats. You can wait out the Shitstorm there, it doesn't see movement.

[@Psycoticlese]

"I gotta find more of those mushrooms, I wanna see what that does when I jam all o' that shit inna my body"

[@the_jingo]

Have you tried using your non existing brain? Like click on convert part on saw to make board and using fire (your torch in the damn inventory) to get rid of toxic also you can also use torch as weapons which’s not effective but still a weapon nonetheless

[@RickJaeger]

If it was non-existent, how could they try to use it? You didn't think this insult through.

[@0rriAndroid]

I can't stop playing Dragon's Dogma dispite beating both the 360 and ps3 versions at least 15 times each. Help me

[@TheStrxggler]

Is it out for PS4 yet?

[@0rriAndroid]

Ye

[@0rriAndroid]

Sittingthem down at theinn in Cassardis or Gran Soren let's you change their speech rate. Off chance anyone wants to use my pawn, her name is 'Babette'

[@baphometsvoice6271]

Jaffacus "Even in numbers a weakling is a weakling still!"

[@NightClubSamurai]

Wolves hunt in packs. there master pieces all. you can't go wrong

[@roflcopter_launchpad1116]

Darkwood is back, and he's ready for Round 2!

[@Ehh.....]

That just goes to show no eldritch horror can compare to that of the MOOSE

[@EggBastion]

If this ain't the one that 'becomes' a full LP I'm gonna be big sad.

[@silverroddo1468]

Thats the coolest furry wolf man. I would contribute to a crowd funded Plague o' Gripes simulator / survive the horror game, what would it be about though? Plantin'? Drawerin', a cool drawing mechanic to satiate the horror. Hero man could do cool drawing strokes in the air like Fist of the North Star and whatever you draw becomes real to either battle or out smart the horror or get out of a jam.

[@xombiegriffin]

Warkdood strikes again!

[@kjarrett99]

Was counting down the seconds for this!!!

[@jakiller7]

Isn't this game basically I am Legend simulator?

[@shoryuhobbit6253]

Good lord that panting was driving me nuts.

[@everettvonscott]

He should have stopped running constantly.

[@Chris-jk6wd]

Oh man can't wait to see how they'll go through their first night.

[@everettvonscott]

Annoyingly.

[@maxwellstickel2512]

He missed a free mushroom because flashing lights flew over their heads.

[@bvanhoek356]

Stay safe, Billy. The shitstorm has only just begun. God help us. These are dark, dark times.

[@inqman]

I need a full LP of this.

[@DH2007able]

I don't think Billy has much to worry about, unless they start lighting t's on fire. The t stands for time to go.

[@coralcomet]

"It'll never get me now" Pat Crazy Talk no. #137

[@DJ_Khaalis]

"It can never get me now!" [C r a z y T a l k] Activates!!! "Ow, it got me!"

[@totalvvar]

Aww, they didn't actually get to any of the spooky parts

[@thepickles8833]

Welcome to the Shitstorm, son

[@AJPwny]

*Punches you in the face before you can escape*

[@finalcrash244]

Billy are you in the remaster of Silent Hill The Room?

[@shadowmaksim]

Darn, I was hoping that the Floor Gore was going to get them. But nope, it was just a simple random Savage instead.

[@GuyUWishUWere]

Darkwood is a game that tries needlessly hard to make hiking look awful.

[@joekewl7539]

Yeah you don't have to try hard to do so.

[@mayuzanevideos]

A Wolfman? Yeah this is a Plagueofgripes simulator all right

[@tugmanfunkowitz5274]

Yo y'all keep touching my 'darkwood' like this there's going to be some 'whitewood' If you know what I mean God these keep getting worse and worse the further I decend into the shitstorm

[@dantr14]

we aren't even a week in yet

[@makeda6530]

The descent is dark and treacherous.

[@tugmanfunkowitz5274]

Maki-risu oh I hope so

[@tugmanfunkowitz5274]

Shy Guy just imagine when we are a week in

[@SinglExplosiv]

Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer...

[@MrBonebus]

I have loved october for the last 4-5 years because of these. but on a scary scale for intro 1-10 its a 2. guess its okay epic but you know, need my spooks. glad these are all coming out in a hard time of my life too.

[@Infusions]

Billy needs to lighten up.

[@FriedBacon88]

i love it it's like horror Postal/GTA

[@SapphireCrook]

Hm, it's one of those games I'd really like to see a full playthrough of. Goddamit.

[@makeda6530]

Just a run of the mill BONFIRE SACRIFICE, nothing to see Billy babe~

[@Biodeamon]

"if you stay here night won't happen" lmao

[@skeevbuushimmy]

Two things make my life stellar, one being fucking TBF's Shitstorm!! The second being Hitomi Tanki's small, barely covering bras. Matt Senpai, Notice me!!! And Pat, you are a tiny baby coward!

[@thepickles8833]

Get yourself a video projector cellphone and then we can watch shitstorm ON Hitomi's gloriously wide cleavage. Pay Me. I'm full of million dollar ideas.

[@skeevbuushimmy]

The Pickles, this idea you have devised is Nobel prize worthy. Never doubt "The Pickles!"

[@shaddykack]

God bless hitomi Tanaka's glistening oiled breasts....god bless each and every one of....all two of them 😏👌💦

[@playlistforlistening]

That intro Cthulu kinda throws off Mighty Boosh vibes...

[@Inerrant1]

I feel like the best friends need to do a real short blind play through of Don't Starve.. just until they start learning about the sanity mechanics...

[@BlackSabbath628]

This game reminds me of stalker. Spooky forest, animals want to kill you, creepy guy with a hood and an AK. Needs more cheeki breeki though.

[@mkatapodis2]

I have to ask, WHY did you decide to play with a controller? Either the controller support is awful or you generally forgot how to try different buttons.

[@TheKrawtch]

The Best Friends special. "How do I reload?" *buttons pressed* "There's no reload" *hours later* "oh B reloads" _why did you not press the most reload mapped face button, you shit_

[@Sigismund697]

I also wonder this as this seems like a game that could work just fine with a controller

[@eatermon]

Their set up is a big tv as a monitor and they play on a couch. So it's a preference to not have the keyboard and mouse in front of them. A wrong preference but a preference none the less

[@MrStatistx]

Sigismund, The Emperor's Champion I am by far not one to turn away from a controller, even on pc, but this is one of the games that plays fine with keyboard and mouse and I don't want to imagine how bad it would feel with a controller to jump around UI windows and inventory

[@valenticu]

mkatapodis2 Honestly this is the kind of controller support I wouldve expected from an early access game. It seems stupid that developers would put in a buggy control option. : / Like man, just don't put it in if it's not ready to be in a full game.

[@arliceyoung1043]

Pogs but no spammers though. Flashback of big bros pogs

[@bodhisattva71]

*Holy shit,never go outside in the dark!*

[@AlleyCryptid]

I wanna take a moment to point out that the developers put the full game on pirate bay if you cannot afford it or just wanna try it out first.

[@alejandroreyes9574]

WTF? You sure it was the developers?

[@AlleyCryptid]

Alejandro Reyes yup Google it. Developers are acid wizard and it's the full length game.

[@everettvonscott]

Doesn't everyone knows this by now?

[@JackButcherr]

No, Alejandro didn't know.

[@maxwellstickel2512]

This game has been around for so long, sure they just want the recognition instead of money.