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Should I Reconcile With My Abusive Husband? (He Punched Our Son)

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The Dr. John Delony Show

The Dr. John Delony Show

Күн бұрын

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Пікірлер: 1 200
@tkbreen1381
@tkbreen1381 Ай бұрын
“They’re more concerned with the purity of their image than the safety of the people that attend” HES COOKING 🔥
@orielwiggins2225
@orielwiggins2225 Ай бұрын
So much truth. And I've been where she is. Especially the church part. It's horrific to have the two places that are supposed to be a sanctuary be so isolating and crazy making and shaming you for having a human reaction to inhumane treatment.
@alluringbliss4165
@alluringbliss4165 Ай бұрын
Ive seen that in my childhood. Only came to realize when I became an adult.
@boadecia1433
@boadecia1433 Ай бұрын
They're protecting their industry rather than their people.
@blueStarKitt7924
@blueStarKitt7924 Ай бұрын
​@@orielwiggins2225Exactly.😔
@GameChanger597
@GameChanger597 18 күн бұрын
The fact that they excused this atrocious abuse only proves just how much they know nothing about what the Bible actually says
@melissab3217
@melissab3217 Ай бұрын
Unfortunately I have heard many women in the church say sexual assault can't exist in a marriage. They are completely wrong, and this kind of gaslighting is devastating. I would leave that church!
@dyllangames3592
@dyllangames3592 23 күн бұрын
I understand sometimes the significant other isn't gonna be in the mood, but if his needs aren't being met and she's expecting him to meet all her needs, then she has to compromise on one thing or another. Marriage isn't "he does this for me because it's one of my needs, but I don't do this even though he told me that it's one of his needs"
@karydoughty3206
@karydoughty3206 19 күн бұрын
@@dyllangames3592there is a huge difference between negotiating needs and violating consent. As someone who experienced this my husband didn’t care about my needs at all. He repeatedly expected me to push myself to the physical breaking point and disregarded the impact on my health. Guys like this husband don’t care about her needs. Paul never condoned a man pressing his needs over his wife’s well being. Please understand that
@perkasami6305
@perkasami6305 18 күн бұрын
​@@dyllangames3592If he's not even meeting all of her needs, or even trying to, why should she even want to meet his "need"? Stop being gross and misogynistic. If he's going to have rage issues, he's not emotionally safe, and women don't want to have sex with guys that are not emotionally safe
@dyllangames3592
@dyllangames3592 18 күн бұрын
@@perkasami6305 but she is expecting him to meet all her needs. She just doesn't care about the one need of his. And yes for men sex is a need, because it's the most intimate way for a man to connect with his partner. She probably expects him to do A B or C thing but when it comes to anything he needs she probably brushes it off because she doesn't care.
@tinarollings8719
@tinarollings8719 18 күн бұрын
Exactly. The Word says to not defile the marriage bed. According to Hebrews 13:4, the marriage bed is to be undefiled, meaning it should remain uncontaminated by immorality or sexual sin. This verse emphasizes the importance of maintaining a pure and chaste marriage relationship.
@reyno6826
@reyno6826 Ай бұрын
My son accidentally threw a pot into the 65 inch T.V. it shattered into a million pieces. When my hubby got home he laughed and said " good, now maybe we can all interact with each other again." 😂
@Luke-zv6bb
@Luke-zv6bb Ай бұрын
I'm sorry
@Luke-zv6bb
@Luke-zv6bb Ай бұрын
About ur TV lol
@Andible
@Andible Ай бұрын
Haha, your husband sounds like a good guy but how do you accidentally throw a pot lol
@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607
@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 28 күн бұрын
Aww good for you you chose better than she did. Yay for you
@Luke-zv6bb
@Luke-zv6bb 28 күн бұрын
@@reyno6826 I feel like sometimes kids are not fine, and it's okay to have like pcit (play therapy) its a really dope thing just MAKE SURE THE THERAPIST IS ON THE SAME PAGE AS U, its not the same as behavioral therapy if u can get someon in the home or it could be a fun activity for them if u think they could benefit from
@BisquickTheBaboon
@BisquickTheBaboon Ай бұрын
It wouldn't be reconciling, it would be going back to an abuser. Sounds like she needs a new church as well.
@Marlene-c1q
@Marlene-c1q Ай бұрын
NO church!! She need no church. She needs good people around her.
@The4Remaining
@The4Remaining Ай бұрын
@@Marlene-c1q THIS!!!! They're ALL the same! I finally saw that for myself after years of the abusive and toxic cycle. Still healing but feel MUCH better! Jesus and God are real. However, "the Church" naw... keep that!!!💯💯💯💯💯💯
@BusArch42
@BusArch42 20 күн бұрын
Yup. The one I grew up attending condoned abuse and violence.
@laylafritz5880
@laylafritz5880 19 күн бұрын
I agree, that church is too radical... she needs new friends that are going to tell her to set boundaries and put her foot down. Keep that protection order and leave the church. There's a difference between beating your son and disciplining your son.
@BusArch42
@BusArch42 19 күн бұрын
@@laylafritz5880 a difference that I experienced in this type of church ( cult IMO).
@choklitsoul4700
@choklitsoul4700 Ай бұрын
Part of the problem is "church" teaches "wives submit to your husbands" , but fail to teach husbands how they should treat their wives. Ephesians 5:22-33.
@perfecter1497
@perfecter1497 19 күн бұрын
Not true
@anngoad2283
@anngoad2283 17 күн бұрын
That is not what means. The Bible says that wife's should submit but that husband's should care for and protect their wife's.
@jolenedavis1596
@jolenedavis1596 17 күн бұрын
Mine doesn’t teach that lol.. abuse is abuse
@ScarletBegonias-
@ScarletBegonias- 16 күн бұрын
Not all churches are the same. You don’t need to group all of them up. I know plenty of churches that have outed and gotten rid of people when needed.
@005Amergin
@005Amergin 16 күн бұрын
The scriptures are badly taught in such a way to reinforce wives being oppressed at home. Back to the dark ages. Alot of places continue to keep families in the vice grip of the leadership. These are not true shepherds. This is not what it's supposed to be.
@JustaNobody-j8x
@JustaNobody-j8x Ай бұрын
Never reconcile with anyone who is abusive.
@kalebd9601
@kalebd9601 Ай бұрын
This^
@Olivetree80
@Olivetree80 Ай бұрын
Unfortunately it's way too common, it's called the cycle of abuse
@Lisa-7088
@Lisa-7088 Ай бұрын
100% facts right here @kmarie!!
@pammy5260
@pammy5260 Ай бұрын
Yes especially when they hit yout kids, whether its the childs father, your bf or new husband, that IS a deal breaker. Never take that!!!
@lynnebucher6537
@lynnebucher6537 Ай бұрын
I made that mistake once, never again.
@Charmainecharmainecharmaine
@Charmainecharmainecharmaine Ай бұрын
Do not tell anyone about getting the lawyer, he will escalate his abuse. Please be safe.
@amyhull754
@amyhull754 Ай бұрын
My biggest fear here is for her during the separation and leaving: it is THE most dangerous time for a woman (or anyone) leaving an abuser.
@chinwenduchinwe586
@chinwenduchinwe586 9 күн бұрын
And... beware of parental alienation.
@ricksanchezsflask8794
@ricksanchezsflask8794 Ай бұрын
Moral of the story: your church friends are not your real friends.
@Nastasyashanti
@Nastasyashanti 17 күн бұрын
It depends. I’m agnostic now and still have good friends from Catholic Church and Hare Krishna movement (considered a cult in lots of countries). I’m sure they wouldn’t condone abuse or r@pe and they supported me in my decision to leave a narcissistic ex without any judgement or preaching.
@marym2632
@marym2632 17 күн бұрын
Unfortunately ALOT of times the church is just interested in how they look and you can't come in with your problems and make them look bad..
@triplejmom7826
@triplejmom7826 16 күн бұрын
It depends. There are good friends & bad friends in any social encounter, church, work, school, etc. it’s horrific what’s happened here 😢
@onefreelife
@onefreelife 12 күн бұрын
NO CHURCH HAS A RIGHT TO DICTATE YOUR LIFE. OUTRAGEOUS
@chinwenduchinwe586
@chinwenduchinwe586 9 күн бұрын
​@@onefreelife They don't....😡😡😡 Please run from the abuser and run from that church congregation!
@cate9540
@cate9540 13 күн бұрын
Rape is a horrible assault to experience for anyone, but for it to be perpetrated by a spouse is the ultimate betrayal. That her church downplays forced intimacy is absolutely appalling.
@sarahhosl2330
@sarahhosl2330 7 күн бұрын
This story is a perfect example of :"There's no hate like christian love"
@lindawatson8087
@lindawatson8087 Ай бұрын
No is no, husband or not, you have control over YOU. No real friend would tell you to stay in an abusive relationship.
@darkfafnir4389
@darkfafnir4389 Ай бұрын
Yea and he should have left her a whole ago...you people are nuts...you probably think Joe is a good vote too 🤡🤡🤡
@mcrchickenluvr
@mcrchickenluvr Ай бұрын
@@darkfafnir4389umm what? We’re talking about a ‘father’ abusing his son. What the hell are you smoking?
@alluringbliss4165
@alluringbliss4165 Ай бұрын
@@darkfafnir4389what are you on. Put it down.
@user-lf2lf6wy4z
@user-lf2lf6wy4z Ай бұрын
@@darkfafnir4389 What a stupid ass remark. What's wrong with you?
@PrinceOfParthia74
@PrinceOfParthia74 Ай бұрын
No is no for a day, for a week, for 2 weeks, if no remains no for longer, then there are bigger issues involved which were not disclosed here.
@yaya14every81
@yaya14every81 Ай бұрын
Nope to the nope, nope, nope. This will escalate. Save yourself and your son.
@arlettezambrano3894
@arlettezambrano3894 16 күн бұрын
I agree 💯 this man has hit that child before and has even "taped" his wife and the church has the audacity to say it wasn't "tape" just cuz it was her husband, that church needs its own therapist cuz in the eyes of the law husband or not that was "tape" you get what I'm saying I just don't know if I can say the word on here. That man is crazy she did the right thing I would've did the same thing. I don't care who it is no one is laying their hands on my child or me plain and simple.
@PeterClark-ez2of
@PeterClark-ez2of 15 күн бұрын
Her son is screwed either way. On one hand he’s got a shitty abusive father, and in the other side, he’s got a mom who is clearly too scared to actually parent. Her son didn’t accidentally break the tv. He got upset and became destructive and violent. When that type of person doesn’t experience consequences or get any decent parenting, they end up “accidentally breaking” people instead of just tvs. What she can’t seem to understand is that there is a happy medium between the abusive parenting style of her husband, and letting her child walk all over her. Unless she figures that out, her son will have no success in society.
@NORTAH85
@NORTAH85 14 күн бұрын
Great advice. Pretty sure the dr said the exact same thing
@jacquelinedesmarais4108
@jacquelinedesmarais4108 7 күн бұрын
@@PeterClark-ez2offrom what it’s sounds like the only way she could parent her son is if she left, cause you can’t co-parent with someone who has completely dominated and steamrolled you like her husband has obviously done
@jill61421
@jill61421 17 күн бұрын
As a Christian this is APPALLING. I'm literally nauseous. I can't believe it.
@crazeekids9744
@crazeekids9744 Ай бұрын
My ex was abusive and made sure we belonged to a “church” who would condone how he treated us. He was verbally and physically abusive as well as being an adulterer and they STILL sided with him. He and the “pastor” were friends and he was likely treating his wife and children the same way. Those three years were the closest thing to hell on earth that I have experienced. If she chooses to get out, it will still take a long, long time to heal from all of this. Also, an FYI, keeping your child in the home of an abuser is parental neglect on your part, since you know about it and are choosing to not protect him. It can be cause to have your child removed from your care.
@BusArch42
@BusArch42 20 күн бұрын
This was my step dad. The church taught him to be abusive.
@AbbaJoy1
@AbbaJoy1 17 күн бұрын
This was my fear!!! That we'd end up in the emergency room and my children would be removed, and I'd be considered guilty, too. But when I went to my pastor (even this is a scary thing) he said to trust God. Even though I believe he should have given different counsel, God did take care of us-- my husband shocked me and the church by leaving me and saying he never was a Christian. But I was so afraid before until he left.
@staciacrick3373
@staciacrick3373 12 күн бұрын
Religion has benefitted men since the beginning and colluded, enabled and rescued them from accountability and any consequences. When we talk about the Patriarchy this is a big part of what has kept women as 2nd class citizens, chattel, submissive, compliant to their husbands.It's not a wonder why women are getting married less and less. Research shows marriage benefits men more than women and over 70 percent of women imitate divorce.
@kw3113
@kw3113 Ай бұрын
She needs to get out of that church. Her husband is out of control and her son has control issues and she needs church ladies to give her answers. Yet she hoping that the church will change?? Hope she has a good therapist.
@sig7159
@sig7159 16 күн бұрын
If your son sees abuse, anger issues & lack of impulse control from his father, that's exactly what his going to mimic. She needs to get out of there before she also destroys her sons life
@Mommapunkin
@Mommapunkin 12 күн бұрын
I bet she belongs to a Baptist church. Because this sounds so familiar.
@staciacrick3373
@staciacrick3373 12 күн бұрын
Just like she has been waiting for her abusive husband of over 7 years change even after he raped her.
@blueStarKitt7924
@blueStarKitt7924 12 күн бұрын
​@@sig7159Yes.😔
@Steve-lk1eb
@Steve-lk1eb Ай бұрын
Man sometimes John’s intuition is so freakin on point.
@user-lf2lf6wy4z
@user-lf2lf6wy4z Ай бұрын
I agree. He just somehow.........knows
@user-pn1rx1xj5r
@user-pn1rx1xj5r Ай бұрын
This comes from experience/knowledge most of the times, as professional myself, I learned that the presenting problem is usually very superficial
@mariap7671
@mariap7671 28 күн бұрын
They tell him about the issues beforehand
@mayam6444
@mayam6444 16 күн бұрын
@@user-lf2lf6wy4zalmost like the information is given pre interview. they should put the initial question in a big white box on the video, so people can’t miss it
@Paula-fd6lj
@Paula-fd6lj 11 күн бұрын
It's not intuition, it's human behavior. People become predictable once you pay attention. An abuser/bully always has a past. No one offends from 0 to 100 without having escalated the abuse slowly and without push back.
@donnaw2868
@donnaw2868 Ай бұрын
She still has time to raise her son OUT of an abusive home and hopefully teach her son how people should behave.
@mmp495
@mmp495 Ай бұрын
Divorce both the husband and the church. I would rather feel safe and making it on my own than being in a toxic, abusive situation like this. Hoping and wishing all the best, safety and love for her and son. ❤
@user-kp6we9qw7i
@user-kp6we9qw7i Ай бұрын
Please stay away from this man and keep him away from your son. When I was in middle school, I begged my mom to divorce my dad because of how abusive he was. She did not. My trauma continued. My sister‘s trauma continued. My mom’s trauma continued. There were so many more traumatic events that could have been avoided if she had taken us away from him. This has caused a lifetime of issues that possibly I would’ve been able to deal with earlier in life if I would’ve been in a peaceful and safe environment. The people at that church are wrong and are leading you down a bad path if you continue to listen to them. The people at that church are condoning violence. They are not following the Bible.
@melissab3217
@melissab3217 Ай бұрын
Exactly. I wanted my parents to divorce so badly. I lived in fear and anxiety every day about my dad. My stomach would drop when I saw his car pull up, and I'd sit quietly in my room hoping he wouldn't be in a mood. Decades later, I still am unable to relax or have the self-confidence I need for the life I want. And I've never been able to have the relationship I wanted with my mother with him always controlling her.
@alycewich4472
@alycewich4472 Ай бұрын
🎯💯
@blueStarKitt7924
@blueStarKitt7924 Ай бұрын
​@@melissab3217Sorry for what you all went through. May you all heal and find peace and love. Be safe.🙏❤️
@BusArch42
@BusArch42 20 күн бұрын
I’m so sorry. My step dad was the same. My mom failed to protect us. Now I have trust issues and probably always will. My father abandoned us to the abuse. So many adults but no real parents. They will expect you to be loyal to family as they age too. You don’t have to. You have the right to go no contact with your abusers
@Nastasyashanti
@Nastasyashanti 17 күн бұрын
I second that. I have cptsd from my abusive childhood with an alcoholic dad who would wake us up at 3 am and throw tantrums sometimes break things. Thankfully I’ve never been physically abused but my subconscious made an image of home as something unsafe that must be avoided. I tolerated some really bad friends and lovers just because I didn’t want to go home and see all this bs. It’s hard to be in your 30-s and still not have a place you could call home.
@Rebecca-zx5yl
@Rebecca-zx5yl Ай бұрын
Run! I went through something similar with my ex husband. He ended up strangling my 14 year old son. He would have killed him if I hadn’t been able to get them apart. It started as small “hits”. This happened after my 14 year old stopped my ex from hitting my 11 year old. This was over a small disagreement during morning coffee. We are 2 years later, my ex has criminal assault charges and still says he did nothing wrong.
@smustipher
@smustipher Ай бұрын
Around age 11, I woke up to the sound of my stepmom whimpering and crying: "please...no..stop". It took me until my 40s to realize that she was being S.A.'D. I grew up under the impression that since my Dad was the "man of the house" that she had no say in the matter. Meanwhile I'm in my mid 40's and have never beem in a serious relationship, I wonder why?
@benmyers9030
@benmyers9030 Ай бұрын
Maybe no relationship stems from no effort and no accountability. Life doesn't give participation trophies. Obstacles are there to be overcome, not defeated by
@SuzanneQuew-vc4us
@SuzanneQuew-vc4us Ай бұрын
I think I understand what you are saying, I’m 47-years old, I was married 17 years, never again.
@dudeorduuude5211
@dudeorduuude5211 Ай бұрын
​​@@benmyers9030don't be an AH. You are uncomfortable by what they wrote and come back with this ridiculous comment. They witnessed their mother's r***. Stop dismissing this and it's impact. You are afraid, dude.
@alluringbliss4165
@alluringbliss4165 Ай бұрын
@@benmyers9030sound like you are like the husband.
@Pipers_hooman
@Pipers_hooman Ай бұрын
​@@benmyers9030 You have issues. I take it you're just like this guy? Sick talk
@susanpage8315
@susanpage8315 Ай бұрын
I grew up in a fundie church. Abuse was ignored; women were expected to stay even in abusive marriages. I was condemned by my former church for seeking a divorce from a verbally abusive man (who also had a porn addiction).
@alycewich4472
@alycewich4472 Ай бұрын
That is NOT what a Christ centered person OR church is. We had JESUS CHRIST as the center of our lives. If you cannot see JESUS in us, we're not authentic!
@melissab3217
@melissab3217 Ай бұрын
Yep. I saw the same at a fundie church I left. Even revealing the new location of a mother and her kids to the abusive husband!
@sicastra
@sicastra Ай бұрын
I experienced a very similar response from a fundie church
@user-lf2lf6wy4z
@user-lf2lf6wy4z Ай бұрын
Horrible. What church was that?
@user-lf2lf6wy4z
@user-lf2lf6wy4z Ай бұрын
@@melissab3217 That is SICK. To put their lives at possible risk?!?!? And then do the "God talk"
@gingerjeff6385
@gingerjeff6385 Ай бұрын
What the f***?? As a pastor, I cannot imagine hearing any part of her story and not immediately involving some kind of police or social worker… the word pastor literally means shepherd. A shepherd’s job is PROTECTING the sheep. Unfortunately, most pastors are just protecting our pockets. Lord have mercy… Hope she can find a good church that will love her more than their image.
@as2223
@as2223 Ай бұрын
Hard to find churches that are not just another business venture by an entrepreneur and not a calling from Christ.
@user-lf2lf6wy4z
@user-lf2lf6wy4z Ай бұрын
I'd like to have YOU for my pastor
@Soundsaboutreet
@Soundsaboutreet Ай бұрын
Right? Exactly! You have a moral and spiritual obligation for safeguarding your congregation and especially children. A woman and child’s safety has to prioritise a marriage staying together just for the sake of vows.
@BonazaiGirl
@BonazaiGirl 24 күн бұрын
If there were more pastors like you, less people would be leaving the church. Unfortunately, the greedy ones tend to be on the forefront.
@BusArch42
@BusArch42 20 күн бұрын
@@BonazaiGirlexactly.
@maryedge8666
@maryedge8666 Ай бұрын
It makes me SICK the way her “church” and “Christian” friends handled this. At the end of the day, their salvation is between them and God, but I highly doubt these people are true followers of Christ with the way they treated this woman and the abuse she went through. Please know this is not how it’s supposed to be.
@bbrichardbb
@bbrichardbb Ай бұрын
Not really they just think as wives they have to get fucked when husband wants regardless. Because its your husband. Even then if she says no its no. Go jerk off
@noprogressionisregression6854
@noprogressionisregression6854 Ай бұрын
I'm always laughing when people say they're surprised how Christians handle things. You do understand that many people use Christianity to be sexist, sadistic, and just terrible people right? I'm not saying that there aren't good people that seek out Faith but unfortunately so many people use it to be horrible people. Also, it's a very patriarchal and sexist institution
@biologygirl91
@biologygirl91 Ай бұрын
Yes! As a Christian, this is abhorrent behavior for them to treat her this way and not help her in whatever way they can. The world watches/hears this and lumps us all together as caring more about image then authenticity
@lynnebucher6537
@lynnebucher6537 Ай бұрын
I think it's appalling that the church basically said he's your husband so he has the right to abuse you and your kid.
@sassysister8552
@sassysister8552 Ай бұрын
Well said!!
@treykennedy8897
@treykennedy8897 18 күн бұрын
The hypocrisy and irony to get mad and use physical force because your kid got mad and used physical force is absurd. He’s the one teaching him that behavior
@a.b.2850
@a.b.2850 Ай бұрын
I tried to press charges. In 2006. I was humiliated. “You were married”.
@user-ei8wi1kr9n
@user-ei8wi1kr9n Ай бұрын
I’m sorry
@sunshinehowells9845
@sunshinehowells9845 18 күн бұрын
I was told I should get more sleep so I didn't sleep as soundly so that he couldn't do that to me..by a female deputy. . Instead of feeling angry, I decided she was blessed to never have experienceInstead of feeling angry, I decided she was blessed to never have experienced SA
@akapatience5571
@akapatience5571 16 күн бұрын
I'm so sorry ❤
@melanienygaard273
@melanienygaard273 Ай бұрын
If the kid has ADHD, there’s a good chance that at least one parent also does. Impulse control may be part of the issue, but not an excuse for abuse.
@hannaahlin5277
@hannaahlin5277 17 күн бұрын
Might not necessarily be adhd either. Apparently adhd and ptsd-like symptoms gets mixedupp/missdiagnosed allot. If the kid's been hit before, I'd say thay need a second opinion.
@moderator7169
@moderator7169 17 күн бұрын
I'm an adult. I have severe ADHD. And I never raised a hand to a woman or child
@moderator7169
@moderator7169 9 күн бұрын
@@karlihannah1330 that's false. Educate yourself. You sound dumb. Aggressiveness might not be the #1 intention, it very much can be part of ADHD. It can stem from impulse control, and much more. not everyone with ADHD .. but many do. Go EDUCATE please
@Celine-USA
@Celine-USA Ай бұрын
People telling you not to protect yourself and your family are not your friends. This church is sick. This is heartbreaking.
@MoneyWise007
@MoneyWise007 Ай бұрын
New church. No husband. Be happy. Be safe.
@mustangava
@mustangava Ай бұрын
These comments are so supportive and so very true. May I also mention that by allowing this to continue, she is teaching her son to hit other people. Get out now! That first night when you're out, you and your son will have the best night's sleep ever, because you will be free of that horrible man. He won't change! Sincerely, The Voice of Experience
@NoOne-wt3sv
@NoOne-wt3sv 25 күн бұрын
What he did was called “sexual coercion”. It is a form of sexual abuse and harassment. May the son and mother be safe from that monster of a man.
@christinamasterson8550
@christinamasterson8550 15 күн бұрын
As a wife her duty is to give her body to her husband and vice versa. Nobody bothers to ask why she was withholding sex.
@clarissas8741
@clarissas8741 14 күн бұрын
@@christinamasterson8550 that is one scripture; there are way more scriptures that tell you to love your wife and cherish her. if you love and cherish someone, you’re not gonna force them to have sex with you.
@karlihannah1330
@karlihannah1330 9 күн бұрын
​@@christinamasterson8550I can't believe that is your stance. How about - as a husband it is your responsibility to act respectful and care about your spouse when she says no As a husband it is your responsibility to take care of your child and wife and protect them
@ashleygood4615
@ashleygood4615 8 күн бұрын
No it was rape.
@johnjeremih
@johnjeremih 6 күн бұрын
​@@christinamasterson8550the problem is that she already said that he is abusive.
@lauriesimonds9229
@lauriesimonds9229 Ай бұрын
30 years ago, my seminary trained Christian husband attacked our 3 year old son and myself. We separated and I (also Christian) begged him to get help, to which our pastor agreed. My husband refused to believe he did anything wrong and wouldn't change. We divorced because when the decision comes down to divorce or death (so many women killed by domestic violence every day) - I chose to stay alive for my son!!! And guess what - after 30 years, my ex husband STILL hasn't changed. Get out. Stay out. Stay safe for yourself and children 🙏🏼❤❤❤
@neechee5150
@neechee5150 Ай бұрын
@lauriesimonds9229 said, "so many women killed by domestic violence every day" According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics "more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day". While three women per day being killed as a result of DV/IPV is too many, three does not equal "so many".
@ElliBeenie
@ElliBeenie 17 күн бұрын
@@neechee5150 pray tell, how many women would have to be killed for you to consider it “many”? 3 women a day is more than 1000 women a year. And that is just ONE country. There are many countries where even more women are killed every single day. It’s a huge issue. What a useless comment.
@happilydivorced3235
@happilydivorced3235 12 күн бұрын
@@neechee5150Actually, 3 women per day is “so many.” How many women per week/month/year? Combine those numbers in every country. Is that not millions of women around the world?
@neechee5150
@neechee5150 12 күн бұрын
@@happilydivorced3235 The original poster that I responded to limited her scope to PER DAY ONLY and she did not state world wide so the de facto population she is talking about is the US. Three per day is not " so many" in the context of millions of adult women in the US. Again the original poster limited the scope to PER DAY ONLY not me Here is something that you chose to ignore in your response. You have to apply that same methodology that you used to calculate the number of men who are killed by their romantic partners each year across the world and that too adds up very fast as well. I gave stats for both men and women who are killed by their romantic partners via DV/IPV. You and the original poster chose to ignore that many men are killed each year by their wifes/GF. To me a man's life is just as important and just as valuable as a woman's life and one death per year due to IPV/DV is one too many whether that be a man or a woman who is killed by their lover. I have called out and reported female professionals in the field of social work/therapy who discount and discredit men they have never met and do not know when these men report being victims of DV and I have called these women out for not accepting what the male victims have to say without judgement and pressured/confronted these women to let the corroborated facts and evidence dictate their assessment of what really happened when the IPV/DV perp is a woman. It is shocking to see this kind of sexism/misandry among female professionals in the fields of social work/therapy
@Mariaelaina10
@Mariaelaina10 Ай бұрын
As a Christian, what in the world is wrong with these churches and church “friends”?
@thesweetestteas.4534
@thesweetestteas.4534 17 күн бұрын
Misogyny and a disdain for women
@anne4650
@anne4650 16 күн бұрын
I think of myself as Christian. It’s the way one behaves. Haven’t been in a church in 50 years. They just want your money … nothing else.
@SeekingNewHeights777
@SeekingNewHeights777 14 күн бұрын
@@thesweetestteas.4534facts that’s not a house of God it’s a donation center for a garbage pastor and congregation so many churches don’t have any ounce of the Holy Spirit in it people have to use discernment when choosing churches partners ect.
@sdavid2311
@sdavid2311 15 күн бұрын
After I walked out on my husband of 2 months after being violently physically assaulted, I had some seniors from my church encouraging me to forgive him and get back...even after I shared the multiple instances of physical, mental and verbal abuses I had endured and tried to ignore hoping he would change, until it escalated to this. I had a parish priest tell me I had to forgive him and treat him like he was my cross to bear in this world. I am glad I had better friends and family and I left everything in God's hand, he helped me decide. I would honestly bear any other kind of cross, but not something that is a threat to my safety and life. Never go back to an abuser, and an abuser who does not acknowledge his actions ( pretends nothing happened to save his image).
@larissanmoon299
@larissanmoon299 Ай бұрын
That’s not a church, that’s a cult. Leave. Now.
@bimiup1
@bimiup1 Ай бұрын
I’m horrified! She knows what her husband is and is letting her church and friends tell her that it’s her fault. Calling in to this show shows she has a lot of courage. Get out of this marriage, call the cops if he violates the epo. She needs to protect herself and her kids.
@Ayaa29048
@Ayaa29048 Ай бұрын
It's trauma. Probably had a parent tell her she's the problem, she's the one who's hard to please, she's the problem for standing up for herself, she's the ISSUE. And a kid truly believes THEY are the issue. Also her call gives me chills because I had my current bf basically have sex with me as I was crying because I felt so disregarded that he doesn't care I DON'T want to have sex at the moment.
@dianarichert5500
@dianarichert5500 20 күн бұрын
Trauma, PTSD keeps women in these types of abusive marriages. People would be shocked to learn the number of Pastor’s wives who are subject to physical/verbal abuse. This type of abuse deeply hurts the heart of God.
@joannajohnson8210
@joannajohnson8210 Ай бұрын
I had to leave my previous church after turning my husband in to CPS. CPS gave me a choice, the kids or the husband. I chose the kids and the church told me I was wrong, that I should let CPS take the kids even though my husband refused any help and any responsibility. It hurts, in a way even more so than losing my husband, but we've found a different church now and the household is much more peaceful.
@alizarinirazila
@alizarinirazila 13 күн бұрын
Your husband is an adult who can make his own choices and can choose to take responsibility. Your children are developing and need guidance, so you made the right choice. Those children have enough to work through in life, they will be glad you chose them. Stay strong 💕
@bblum91286
@bblum91286 13 күн бұрын
This is the best advice Dr. John has given. Dismissing the cults and the norms of them is on point! Many of the cults insinuate women are property of the husband and staying under the “umbrella of authority.” If you are in a church and hear this saying a lot, please run for your life!!
@mwhe3111
@mwhe3111 Ай бұрын
The safety of children must ALWAYS BE THE FIRST PRIORITY.
@allisonfisher9304
@allisonfisher9304 Ай бұрын
I’m my understanding of biblical scripture, there are 4 reasons given to divorce: adultery, willful not-support of the household, spiritual abuse(not allowing your partner to practice their religion), and physical abuse. You and your children have been abused, and any person telling you that you don’t have grounds to leave him are abusing you, as well. You were right to leave, and God Himself supports you, no matter what the idiots at your church say. They are not in the right. You did right by protecting your children, and yourself.
@samuelzulu9731
@samuelzulu9731 Ай бұрын
thats wrong there is only one ground for biblical divorce which is adultery others are grounds for legal separation
@mombythesea2426
@mombythesea2426 18 күн бұрын
@@samuelzulu9731That’s not really true. People confuse Christ’s words to mean women can only divorce due to cheating. But His words were to men who were divorcing wives for frivolous reasons in order to “marry” another girl for a week, scratch that itch, and then remarry the first wife. And He was telling them that unless their wife cheated on them, you can’t divorce them. But in a broader sense, the Torah allowed slaves to have their freedom if their owner was physically abusive even once. Many, many verse talk about leaving people who have evil and abusive tongues. Many verses talk about turning from evil people who are abusers, slanderers, lazy, etc. She needs to protect her son from her husband. That means her husband already voided the marriage contract.
@rebekahwebster3104
@rebekahwebster3104 8 күн бұрын
Could you share the verses you look to to gain that conclusion?
@paulettewilliams6492
@paulettewilliams6492 Ай бұрын
AMEN!! Thank you for telling her the truth and encouraging her to get out. My heart is breaking for her.
@nicolenebaard2302
@nicolenebaard2302 10 күн бұрын
I am so sorry honey..we all rooting for you..there are many who have walked the same road…you need to heal now
@jet4415
@jet4415 Ай бұрын
I love how Churches don’t know anything about Domestic Abuse. “Suck it up and keep giving us money!” Is their rally cry.
@vlw4877
@vlw4877 Ай бұрын
Amen!!!
@alycewich4472
@alycewich4472 Ай бұрын
Churches that DON'T address this issue are WRONG TO THE CORE. As followers of Jesus Christ we are called to care for the weak and needy. So if this is the only idea that you see Christians, I'm so so sorry because this is not an authentic Christian.
@neelo821
@neelo821 Ай бұрын
@@alycewich4472 Exactly. Even the Bible says: "Husbands, love your wives, EVEN AS Christ ALSO LOVED the church, and gave himself for it" (Eph 5: 25). There is nowhere in the Bible that says Jesus hit His disciples or any body else. He even defended a woman from getting stoned! While there was no reason for Him to stop the persecutors.
@photographyenthusiast9941
@photographyenthusiast9941 Ай бұрын
Yup. I particularly love when they use scripture to bully women into staying, telling them that they are sinning against God if they leave. No individual who has ever been abused would think to tell someone to subject themselves to additional abuse. Bunch of softies in the church landscape who grew up in yellow homes with white picket fences who have no sense of reality.
@mamabearwarriors93
@mamabearwarriors93 Ай бұрын
This absolutely doe not apply to every church. Ours is extremely proactive in the prevention arena and my previous church in the same denomination has gone to the police when necessary, and in another case where it wasn't abuse but unfaithfulness, they gave all kinds of support to the wife and kids and the husband is no longer welcomed in the church because he was totally unrepentant.
@SuzanneQuew-vc4us
@SuzanneQuew-vc4us Ай бұрын
I can’t stand parents who choose their spouse over their children…the first time a man does that to my kid he’d be out…that’s why I’m divorced, sure I get to be a single mom, but I protected our children.
@samuelzulu9731
@samuelzulu9731 Ай бұрын
no spouse comes first then children you made a covenant to god not your children
@animatedaries6806
@animatedaries6806 Ай бұрын
Amen
@mtclauraamaral2201
@mtclauraamaral2201 19 күн бұрын
​@@samuelzulu9731 God doesn't condone violence on children nor spouses. And if you think protecting an innocent child comes second to an abusive husband you don't understand God at all. Go pray my friend. Where there is love evil can't make a nest to stay.
@samuelzulu9731
@samuelzulu9731 19 күн бұрын
@@mtclauraamaral2201 I think you misunderstood me and are being overly emotional for nothing
@samuelzulu9731
@samuelzulu9731 19 күн бұрын
@@SuzanneQuew-vc4us then you shouldn't have gotten married
@user-st6nt4ou6f
@user-st6nt4ou6f Ай бұрын
Denial is a hard battle to overcome. I feel for her.
@lythiascanlon2131
@lythiascanlon2131 21 күн бұрын
Getting away from an abusive partner is a process, not a single event. It can happen to anyone, rich, poor, race, anyone. It's a painful and complicated problem to deal with when your domestic partner, who you love and trust, is harming you physically/mentally. I hope this lady and her son end up okay. You can't change these types of people, they are incapable of seeing that their antisocial abusive behavior is wrong, and most times feel entitled to behave this way. Dr. Delony is brilliant and insightful. God bless you real good Dr. Deloney.
@Bella15230
@Bella15230 Ай бұрын
I said no about a week ago, I was respected, no attitude or guilt tripping. Marriage doesn’t give you rights over someone body and the fact the there are groups out there that think otherwise is scary.
@izzywox8246
@izzywox8246 Ай бұрын
Right same. I respect my spouse and he respects me. These groups straight up lack respect
@sarikagoode1505
@sarikagoode1505 22 күн бұрын
Church is the worst enabler of abuse. Those people don’t have to live with the dangerous person themselves, they shouldn’t be pushing that to anyone else.
@standground7956
@standground7956 Ай бұрын
*Yes, stay if prefer to be with an abusive person.* If you don’t want to live with an abusive person, *the answer is NO.*
@sksunshine4860
@sksunshine4860 Ай бұрын
No is a full sentence. Shoving a person away for over an hour then finally not having the energy does not constitute consent, NO means NO FULL STOP!! To anyone going through this, you are not your husband's tool or toy, it is a partnership and he has violated you physically, emotionally and mentally and is now doing the same to a child. The list is likely more like a novel. My first memory of my Christian father abusing my mom was at not quite 3 and now as an adult, 6 kids in just over 7 years feels a lot like consent was never on the table, she was used and abused. Unfortunately he passed when I was almost 13 and she passed when I was almost 24 after 4 years of battling cancer. At that point I was trying to keep up a home, keep everyone fed with clean clothes and take care of my mom and despite all the questions I had, I couldn't subject her to them. She was hundreds if not thousands of miles from her family and tbh, I doubt anyone of them would have done anything as we are talking parents born in 1907/8, my parents in the early 40's and part of a similar sounding church. I wished so many times my mom would leave and felt so guilty when I was relieved that he died, still do to this day. First time I actually said those words but it's the truth.
@ellienicolexo
@ellienicolexo Ай бұрын
Shoutout to this mom for taking measures to protect her child and show him that she believes his experience - not every parent is willing to “side” with their kid over their spouse like that
@AlorsonDanseX
@AlorsonDanseX Ай бұрын
If you want to be next, yes. If you have some self respect, no.
@privacyplease1556
@privacyplease1556 Ай бұрын
She has no self respect
@mcrchickenluvr
@mcrchickenluvr Ай бұрын
She was first, her son was his next victim.
@mcrchickenluvr
@mcrchickenluvr Ай бұрын
@@privacyplease1556tell me you know nothing about being abused without telling me you don’t.
@tnnh123
@tnnh123 Ай бұрын
This sounds like my parents relationship and reminds me of the reason why my brother refuses to move out of my mom’s house. Yes my parents are still “together”
@katemiller7874
@katemiller7874 Ай бұрын
Your brother is protecting her
@tnnh123
@tnnh123 Ай бұрын
@@katemiller7874 yep and he’s 26 now.
@blueStarKitt7924
@blueStarKitt7924 Ай бұрын
😞😞😞 May you all be safe.🙏❤️
@tnnh123
@tnnh123 Ай бұрын
@@blueStarKitt7924 thank you
@user-pn1rx1xj5r
@user-pn1rx1xj5r Ай бұрын
@@tnnh123that has never been his job. Please seek professional help if possible. Sending you, mom, and brother love and healing 🪷
@missgranger5362
@missgranger5362 Ай бұрын
You are courageous. It is sometimes easier to defend your children rather than protect yourself from the abuse you suffered. I'm sad that you weren't protected by your church back then, but you can do it now for yourself. Once again, you are brave.
@dakotasikes6690
@dakotasikes6690 Ай бұрын
Nah she kept the fox in the hen house after finding his true colors
@bexolina
@bexolina Ай бұрын
0:45 “Whaaaat?” Dr John’s initial response perfectly summarises this entire clip.
@shannalee80
@shannalee80 Ай бұрын
This call was difficult to listen to. I hope she and her kids get to a safe place. And so many Christians still don’t get why deconstruction is happening with so many that grew up in the church.
@darkfafnir4389
@darkfafnir4389 Ай бұрын
Yes cause no one lies ever???😂😂🤡🤡🤡🐑🐑🐑she is a liar
@SU-66
@SU-66 16 күн бұрын
My sperm donor of a dad was a narcissist. He made our lives a living hell, it got worse and worse and worse. I begged my mom to divorce his *ss but she didn’t. She hoped that he would change, she was not financially stable and he threatened to take away my little sister who was a minor at the time. After 29 f*cking years she finally snapped, got the courage and divorced him. I protected her with everything I got and secured a stable life for my family. I’m 31 years old now and am still traumatized, I have trust issues and a fear of commitment. My mom still blames herself for not divorcing him sooner. RUN girl, protect yourself and your children!
@alizarinirazila
@alizarinirazila 13 күн бұрын
I have a similar story and yet my mum won’t divorce him and deludes herself daily. It’s easier for her to believe she’s well taken care of and the abuse to my sister and I never happened and we’re lying than to see what needs to happen. It’s killing my sister and I.
@user-ky6fi2jm9r
@user-ky6fi2jm9r Ай бұрын
Abuse will always escalate. It could be the next time or 10 years down the line, but escalation has been the consistent pattern of abusers. People can try to keep themselves in check, but under pressure, they return to actions that got them through stressful times before, i.e., substance abuse, cheating, shopping, over-eating, gambling, punching, etc..
@insirtusernamehere
@insirtusernamehere Ай бұрын
Definitely not true. I've known many people that have issues like alcoholism, gambling, anger, etc and they have sought professional help, taken responsibility, and changed. However, the first step is being honest. If you can't admit you have a problem then change is extremely unlikely to happen.
@user-ky6fi2jm9r
@user-ky6fi2jm9r Ай бұрын
@@insirtusernamehere Wow, that is a lot of people you know who have significant problems. I know such people through my job in health care. You wrote something key to recovery: professional help and taking full responsibility for oneself. Without either/both, I stand by experience, case files, and medical studies. Violence will escalate. As part of successful recovery, people need to develop new coping mechanisms, so that under stress, old habits don't resurface. Many have heard the old saying, once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. It is a lifestyle, not a one-off.
@shanchan8247
@shanchan8247 Ай бұрын
What kind of churchs are y'all going to? My pastor isn't perfect but he doesn't put up with abusive spouses. Maybe because he's also a licensed counselor 🤔
@ipage1
@ipage1 Ай бұрын
You’re kidding right ? Christianity is riddled with abusers and perverts . Your god is either watching and doing nothing cos he can’t , or cos he won’t - that god is either powerless , evil or non existent .
@dakotasikes6690
@dakotasikes6690 Ай бұрын
You'd be shocked at how many will look the other way to save face
@vojo1461
@vojo1461 26 күн бұрын
If you stay with someone who hurts your children, you will likely find that they grow up to hurt others or to think that it’s okay for others to hurt them.
@ItsMeYourfavorite7
@ItsMeYourfavorite7 Ай бұрын
Where is the “women break homes and initiate divorce” gang
@ricksanchezsflask8794
@ricksanchezsflask8794 Ай бұрын
Plenty of other comment sections for them.
@Foxie770
@Foxie770 Ай бұрын
Exactly. I wonder why women initiate divorce? Because men are too cowardly to admit fault, improve themselves, and change.
@benmyers9030
@benmyers9030 Ай бұрын
This woman thinks adhd causes people to break tvs and smashing plates is just fine for a grown woman whose son has an anger problem. Neither party seems qualified to raise children. For some reason the professional didn't seem to notice what kind of looney toon was on the phone with him
@BigBobbyBoLo
@BigBobbyBoLo Ай бұрын
@@benmyers9030 so that's your medically qualified opinion?
@CCBBAA1
@CCBBAA1 Ай бұрын
​​@@benmyers9030He is a child. Children can be difficult especially IF THEY ARE ABUSED BY THEIR FATHER. She is no doubt doing the best she can while dealing with an absolute monster who is bigger than her. She needs to get herself and her child out. I bet that kid improves drastically with some peace living with his mother and some therapy. Putting a special needs kid in the foster care system is the worst thing for him. Foster care has been proven to have pretty high abuse rates too. He needs peace with his mother and a therapist. Also if the worst thing she has done is break plates once...she's doing pretty good in an extreme abuse situation. Reactive anger is a response to abuse.
@Lisa-7088
@Lisa-7088 Ай бұрын
Hit the "like" button folks! More people need to see this video that need help! This scenario is all to common!! Excellent advice Dr. John!! THANK YOU!!!
@Soundsaboutreet
@Soundsaboutreet Ай бұрын
The fact she has to ask this question proves that she is still brainwashed in the abuse cycle and needs to see a therapist. If you were in a healthy mindset and healed from this trauma, you would 100% know you can’t go back to an abusive partner who has abused your kid, You would be doing everything in your power to make sure they don’t come near you or your kid ever again
@user-yy9mt6kl3h
@user-yy9mt6kl3h Ай бұрын
Perfect marriages or relationships aren't real; each one is different. What makes one person content might not make another person content. But I've discovered that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were facing divorce because of issues in our marriage, but we managed to resolve them. It was challenging, but we made it through.
@user-sk7kd8vs2w
@user-sk7kd8vs2w Ай бұрын
I honestly want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is deep. I really hope she comes back, and I'm fully committed to making it work. We've tried different methods, like therapy, to fix things.
@user-yy9mt6kl3h
@user-yy9mt6kl3h Ай бұрын
Moving away from someone you hold close is invariably tough, but in my particular situation, I was supported by a spiritual counselor who prevented the unraveling of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
@user-sk7kd8vs2w
@user-sk7kd8vs2w Ай бұрын
Thank you for this direction. I'll swiftly seek her out online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will yield results for me as well; her absence weighs heavily on my heart.
@user-yy9mt6kl3h
@user-yy9mt6kl3h Ай бұрын
Welcome... You should
@rheinhartsilvento2576
@rheinhartsilvento2576 Ай бұрын
Yes indeed. Sometimes the solution is leaving the relationship.
@talkindurinthemovie
@talkindurinthemovie Ай бұрын
SHE NEEDS A NEW CHURCH WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!!
@EmmaAndEmmaAndEmma
@EmmaAndEmmaAndEmma 18 күн бұрын
This poor woman needs to ditch her husband AND her church.
@peterwilliams6361
@peterwilliams6361 Ай бұрын
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.
@GregMunro
@GregMunro Ай бұрын
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
@peterwilliams6361
@peterwilliams6361 Ай бұрын
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
@GregMunro
@GregMunro Ай бұрын
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
@peterwilliams6361
@peterwilliams6361 Ай бұрын
You wont regret it
@Mrs.TJTaylor
@Mrs.TJTaylor Ай бұрын
Nope to working through anything with a man who throws punches at children. Are you kidding me? Reconcile with a rapist? Nope.
@danivynsteele7695
@danivynsteele7695 16 күн бұрын
I was severely sexually abused by a member of my church for 3yrs. He beat me to the church counsel and spread insidious lies about me. When one of my rapes got me pregnant at 14yrs old by an adult, the church turned their backs and condemned me for seeking an abortion. They witnessed him physically and verbally assault me on church grounds and did nothing. It broke my heart. It killed any sense that this was my safe place. It was all I knew but I got out…I snapped…I opened my eyes, said my piece and left. It’s been healing. I hope this woman’s considers the freedom to be had on the other side of a toxic church community.
@debbieanderson6740
@debbieanderson6740 Ай бұрын
I've had the experience with an old church where they give excuses to men because they are the head of the house. To the caller, take care of yourself and your son. You shouldn't put up with the abusive man and your son is learning that is ok by you staying. There are shelters for short term. With the help of a professional, make a plan. God Bless.
@katemiller7874
@katemiller7874 Ай бұрын
When I got divorced I went to my priest he said to go home and repair the relationship. I found a new church that accepted me.
@alycewich4472
@alycewich4472 Ай бұрын
@@katemiller7874 GOOD FOR YOU!!!
@amde8554
@amde8554 Ай бұрын
@@katemiller7874good for you
@samuelzulu9731
@samuelzulu9731 Ай бұрын
@@katemiller7874 hopefully you never remarried
@Loruca
@Loruca Ай бұрын
my brother said something profound to me not long ago. "There are three people who shouldn't go into these careers because they want to: policemen, politicians, and pastors". The premise being those careers attract people who want power and influence. I would argue with my brother because there are perhaps some who are motivated more out of a desire to help, to serve, to protects, or whatever, the the basic statement has a lot of truth to it.
@orielwiggins2225
@orielwiggins2225 Ай бұрын
This one hit home and I'm fully on fire angry on her and her sons behalf, even while my heart breaks so much for them both. From someone who's been thru every bit of this, including the churches, wishing her and her son freedom from such diabolical mindsets and words and actions keeping them in horrific place. The two places that are supposed to be sanctuary, safe haven, are more interested in their own image and pleasure than basic needs, while those under their care are suffering at their own hands. Both are serious abusive relationships, and will have deeply damaging phycological /emotional impacts. Healing and peace, sending so much healing and peace!
@LolaClo
@LolaClo Ай бұрын
He hit his son over a TV????? A stupid TV? There is no reason to hit someone but over a replaceable piece of junk makes it even more awful! You need to distance yourself from this man and your “church” friends that don’t support you during such cruel treatment.
@audjusushi
@audjusushi Ай бұрын
My cousin's family went through something identical to this situation. Divorce him now. Get it over with now. Trying to salvage this is pointless. My aunt stayed with her abusive husband for years after he hurt their son only one time in a similar manner and their relationship never recovered. The family was fractured. The son and daughter were resentful of both parents. It took over a decade of healing and individual therapy after the divorce for everyone to heal. Divorce him now and get therapy for you and your children.
@sandrashevel2137
@sandrashevel2137 Ай бұрын
The church family shouldnt rule the marriage
@CyeOutsider
@CyeOutsider Ай бұрын
Then vote Democrat because that's exactly what the Republicans are going to do.
@ashleypeed6525
@ashleypeed6525 Ай бұрын
New church new friends new husband.
@samuelzulu9731
@samuelzulu9731 Ай бұрын
no
@JanetFrisby-wl6zb
@JanetFrisby-wl6zb 15 күн бұрын
Not new husband
@Spaceman99966
@Spaceman99966 Ай бұрын
Those arent godly people 😔 , this is one of the reasons why on my journey of faith Im not involving a church
@chelseabarker2250
@chelseabarker2250 Ай бұрын
"Don't forsake the assembling of yourselves together." You can be a Christian and not go to church but you are cutting yourself off of God's good design. We are all the bride of Christ, not just you alone. Just find one with good leadership and strong biblical teaching, that's key. Keeping yourself out of church is usually an excuse to be antisocial and not get close enough to anyone to see your own flaws. Which you actually need. "Confess your sins to one another and pray for each other that you may be healed." Also, you have gifts given by the Spirit that are "for the building up of the Body." Staying away from that calling is similar to hiding your talent in the ground. Hope this is encouraging, I know tone is hard to read in black and white. Blessings on your journey here! ❤
@Spaceman99966
@Spaceman99966 Ай бұрын
@@chelseabarker2250 I appreciate your words , but being alone and contemplating my own thoughts is how I've seen my flaws and come to faith. But like in regular life I keep a small circle, so in my religious views I have not found a church or leader that matches my views. I'm not into the cringe pastors of today , they are casting a wide net to work for the masses and I don't think like the masses , that's exactly why I found faith and didn't stick to my atheistic views
@Void0420
@Void0420 Ай бұрын
@@chelseabarker2250omg stop
@chelseabarker2250
@chelseabarker2250 Ай бұрын
@@Spaceman99966 it's not just my words, it's what is in the Bible. The body needs people who think differently too. You don't have to join a mega church with a cringe pastor. There are many good fellowships to be found wherever you are with people really led by the Spirit. But it sounds like you have been looking and I know there may honestly not be anything great nearby. Just don't forget Christ died for His bride, so don't so quickly discount her importance. We don't need to debate, just throwing some verses out for your consideration. You can google search them and find them in the Bible for yourself. The quoted words should pop up right away. Blessings!
@chelseabarker2250
@chelseabarker2250 Ай бұрын
@@Void0420 A+B conversation lol
@user-wv6ld6nf1w
@user-wv6ld6nf1w Ай бұрын
Truly believe what his behavior and actions tell you. He is shouting he doesn't love or respect you or your son. His words will say different but his actions ultimately tell you everything. Be strong, you and your son deserve so much more from life. If you go back, you help to teach your son that this is how nen behave and this is how women should be treated. Protect that young man and show him another way. Be kinder to yourself, choose a healthier, happy path for you too.
@blueStarKitt7924
@blueStarKitt7924 Ай бұрын
YES.🙏❤️
@tmxgurl
@tmxgurl Ай бұрын
Short answer: NO.
@joshuamullins827
@joshuamullins827 Ай бұрын
Long answer : No way!
@JustaNobody-j8x
@JustaNobody-j8x Ай бұрын
Medium answer: Never
@dabd8175
@dabd8175 Ай бұрын
Real answer is yes
@izzywox8246
@izzywox8246 Ай бұрын
@@dabd8175real for who? Spineless dabs? Yes you personally should be with someone who abuses and berates you 😂😂😂 find a woman or man who will show your worth, crying in the dirt
@trishasurangana2278
@trishasurangana2278 Ай бұрын
​@@dabd8175why, you got punched to death by your dad and you're typing this from hell now?
@JC-bs5pd
@JC-bs5pd 17 күн бұрын
People saying the mom is enabling and taking it too far. The father is an abuser, he has anger issues, this is not the first time he has been physically violent, and he has r@ped his wife previously. Him being violent with her son was her breaking point. The same church members telling her to reconcile are the same ones who told her what happened wasn’t r@pe bc they are married.
@alizarinirazila
@alizarinirazila 13 күн бұрын
Right, she has been a victim so long that she might not be able to see things clearly, and him hurting her child was the thing that finally shattered all of the lies and showed her the truth. When you’ve never been through the manipulation of a person like this, it’s easy to see the flaws and point fingers, but she’s been stuck in this cycle for years.And when you have zero support and only one or two friends who tell you the truth, that makes it worse
@lilys7431
@lilys7431 Ай бұрын
Not likely to change, been there done that, waited didn’t get any better.
@chasepeters6866
@chasepeters6866 15 күн бұрын
Abuse is a pattern, not a one-off. Reconciliation doesn’t need to look like restitution.
@alizarinirazila
@alizarinirazila 13 күн бұрын
I’m going to take that line, thank you. My mother is trying to push my sister and I to “reconcile” with my stepfather who abused us all, but to her that looks like everything suddenly being “perfect” again and with me not standing up for myself.
@chernagast6754
@chernagast6754 Ай бұрын
I was in the same position. I took a lot of abuse. Way more than I ever should have, because I was isolated and my family were abusive. When he went after our son, that was it. It was over.
@AgentClaytonWebb
@AgentClaytonWebb Ай бұрын
My mother stood up for her abusive husband (my father), she wasn’t great either, 12 years past his death now and I still don’t forgive her for keeping him around, allowing him to bully and abuse his daughters and don’t forgive her for her continued abuse… protect your children, parents!
@samuelzulu9731
@samuelzulu9731 Ай бұрын
thats your problem, sadly
@josefmatus8904
@josefmatus8904 Ай бұрын
What a chilling call. Dr. John is 100% right. You are worth more than this. You do you. The church doesnt have your best interest at hearth.
@jeremym8490
@jeremym8490 10 күн бұрын
The government needs to start shutting these chirches down.
@robertandkristinhall5006
@robertandkristinhall5006 18 күн бұрын
No matter how much you love someone it is very very difficult to want to be intimate with someone who is treating you like crap. You want to berate me all night and then expect me to want to please you? Hell no. It is an awful feeling. Then the next morning they act like everything is okay and nothing bad happened. They make you feel crazy. It is horrible. I feel for this lady.
@AprilReignsHere78
@AprilReignsHere78 18 күн бұрын
I agree . 😢💯
@Marlene-c1q
@Marlene-c1q Ай бұрын
I HATE organized religion. Unreal what this woman went through. And YES, it IS common in churches to treat women this way..
@brenda121143
@brenda121143 Ай бұрын
Church and the people in it are not always sacrosanct . Although many of them think they are above reproach. Do not fall for it. You need to protect your children and yourself
@jesssc402
@jesssc402 Ай бұрын
Heeellll NOOOO
@unknownmangafreak
@unknownmangafreak Ай бұрын
"I just keep hoping they are going to change" said about her church... As a church going Christian, I find that statement so odd, sounds like she is in a cult to me. Btw John you need to be comfortable telling people that sometimes there aren't things that can be done to fix a relationship. The first requirement for a marriage to survive is respect and this man has no respect for her or her body. This marriage isn't fixable because it doesn't exist. The man next to her isn't a husband but an enemy in her house.
@themurderbotfeed7688
@themurderbotfeed7688 Ай бұрын
If you reconcile with your husband you are failing your child and the kid will need a protection order against BOTH of you. People have failed you when they said what he did was ok, dont do that to your kid too.
@4elevendyno
@4elevendyno Ай бұрын
I'm so sorry she had to go through that. I had a similar situation when I was married in 2002 lasted a year. I told no one until this year to my psychologist and I am now 55. Coming to grips with it is hard. I work with him and his wife he cheated with on me is my boss. Im so done here but I have less than a year and I can leave. I hope and pray she heals from this.
@alycewich4472
@alycewich4472 Ай бұрын
Find others who can help you. Ask yourself, is it worth it to stay for another few months or would it be better for you if you took your chances and left today? Only YOU can make that choice. I stayed because I thought I had to and didn't see that I would have had any outside support. It may have helped change my trajectory if I had left sooner. It worked out OK but there are times that I recognize the abuse that became more intense later in my marriage that I could possibly have avoided. But sometimes we have to choose our hard. That was mine.
@4elevendyno
@4elevendyno Ай бұрын
@alycewich4472 I will have 30 years in and vested in IPERS retirement. I've tried other positions in the state agency but cannot get a position or even an interview .
@lildoyle9776
@lildoyle9776 13 күн бұрын
So glad you added the financial piece bc so many people never do that can keep people trapped
@stevenroshni1228
@stevenroshni1228 11 күн бұрын
That's just an excuse people give. DV shelters exist and also have resources for food, clothing, etc.
@katie0303
@katie0303 Ай бұрын
The caller needs to rescue herself and her son. I really do feel for kids who have to live through this kind of hell. It's not fair, they didn't ask for it. I hope she does the right thing - for both of them. The greatest gift you can give a child is a calm, safe and loving home. Stop the insanity. Dad isn't going to change.
@ericaexplainsitall2135
@ericaexplainsitall2135 Ай бұрын
This is the reason why I believe in Christ but will never go to a “ church” again. Too many of these situations
@reneeantwi-boasiako3974
@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Ай бұрын
As a Believer, I am so grieved and enraged at how that 'church' handled this. I'm so so sorry 🙏🏿❤️
@carmennurse8641
@carmennurse8641 12 күн бұрын
Now I understand why many young people refuse to attend any church.
@Shann0nxo
@Shann0nxo 3 күн бұрын
I'm a Christian and I can't believe her church isn't giving her support and protecting her physically, spiritually and mentally...but instead saying it's her fault and taking her husband's side. That is sick. I hope she finds a different church and takes herself and her son far far away from that man.
@sassysister8552
@sassysister8552 Ай бұрын
I hope she knows how incredibly strong she is and starting to take her power back is so incredibly brave and only the beginning of a peaceful, calm, happier life. Any religion that condones abuse in any form should not even be allowed to exist in my opinion thats cultist behavior, um simply sick!
@privacyplease1556
@privacyplease1556 Ай бұрын
She has no backbone
@nataliestark8243
@nataliestark8243 Ай бұрын
Don't do it. I'm in a similar position. Looking to get the order extended. Filed for divorce. Your safety and your child's safety is more important. Look into therapy / counseling for your son.
@rachelboyer9186
@rachelboyer9186 16 күн бұрын
My sweet strong lady, be safe and keep your child safe, because that will be something that your child holds dear. You are worth SO MUCH MORE than what has been dealt to you! Hold your baby close and continue to say that NONE of this is their fault, your child’s job at this point in their life is to be just that, a child. Be safe and be strong, not just for your child but for you ❤
@georgiasmathers4503
@georgiasmathers4503 12 күн бұрын
I can hear it in her voice. She won't leave him.
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