Should You Break Up With Someone Who Isn't On The Same Page About Kids?

[@annarose8913]

I'm thinking about Jeannie Mai from the real!She did not want kids but her husband did . They ended up divorcing 10 years later....

[@thati_monaheng]

ANNA ROSE girl, I had the exact same thought

[@annarose8913]

Onthatile Reyah Right😁 ! Maybe she has inspired the topic!

[@dappaflawless]

ANNA ROSE you Read my mind girl

[@annarose8913]

Davenel Richards 😁

[@fatboitino2]

Me too

[@masterwork5581]

Red Flag! You cannot change someone's mind. They may change on their own but there is nothing you can do once a person has made up their mind to not get married or have kids. Steve says it all the time, "we will only change for one person."

[@tochilazarus7415]

I spent about 15 years trying to find the right one, but with God, He can rearrange your destiny, and give you the right person at the right time.

[@machelleodom3789]

Tochi Lazarus you said the right thing then

[@Pegasus009]

You dont need a partner. You are complete in yourself.

[@brooklynforever1990]

What a silly question... Long answer No. Short answer No. You're welcome

[@abryant3000]

When men and women start to take each other at FACE VALUE, rather than potential/what could be, we'll start to recognize the game long before betrayal, broken engagements and out of wedlock children. But, unless you know you're own value, you'll continue to allow others to project theirs onto you.

[@lytonya1533]

Fancy Schmancy love this!!!

[@fah232]

Fancy Schmancy Thank you.

[@tinkalinks]

This right here!

[@TheWilDOn31]

Absolutely true!

[@zacqueeentertainment7336]

Damn that’s the truth

[@mishylove]

When a man says he doesn't want to be married and marries later he meant to YOU!

[@melanier7309]

Exactly! My ex told me that. which turned out to be a blessing. He's on his second marriage.

[@dr.dermixgirlmd7479]

End it. This one is a deal breaker. You can’t split the difference on a kid. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@RDCFemmes]

2 words: Jeannie Mai

[@blackbutterfly233ify]

Pesi Belau absolutely

[@25zeenat25]

She is pregnant now.

[@ATrueLoveOfficial]

Marriage is big decision that binds two people together. Both of you need to be on the same page in order for things to work out in your married life.

[@jeffreyburney6161]

There’s no rule in the book that says that two people have to get married. You can live together go on vacation together do you everything the a married couple can do without being married. You will most likely be happier that way. Marriage and children changes people for the worst I’ve lived it that’s an important thing to consider before you marry somebody. You always want to keep your relationship in a happy place that’s what I will be doing going forward

[@Misk-y]

You know what they say.... Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. A lot of yo be giving out benefits without even knowing where you're heading with your partners. If you voice your intentions, and your partner ain't down with it, Bounce! Stop settling for less or trying to change people's minds. Just Bounce.

[@jesscook]

If someone says they don't want to be married, ever, then don't waste your time. It's a no-brainer. Steve was talking about a man that doesn't know yet and lies to make a woman happy. Not the same thing at all.

[@fatboitino2]

Man, I suspected you'd be here. I think there is a difference in both situations for sure. One has potential, the other has- less. One might actually want to be there, the other really doesn't care. Still, Steve is not talking about someone not being sure and lying. He's talking about someone being misleading. They say they want what you want,but they don't want that with that particular individual. Just so they can get what they want for the time being

[@jesscook]

but that's still lying. and i think bringing that situation up wasn't very relevant. it sounded like the girl was asking about a guy she likes or is dating that already said he doesn't want to get married. she wants to know if she should stay in that in case he changes his mind or leave. so why would steve bring up a dude who wants to but not with the girl that he is with or potentially could be with? honest question. it's not the same situation.

[@fatboitino2]

Jessica Locy Steve said that in response to the women on the panel, not the woman who actually asked the question. The panel took it in a different direction on accident

[@jesscook]

how did they? it seemed to me like steve did.

[@fatboitino2]

Jessica Locy It was the last few seconds of dialogue. They were talking about men not saying they don't want to get married and what not. Which carried it just slightly out of range,because Steve had to inform them on the wiles of man. That's why I said they did so accidentally. Steve had to address the one error they were making in their evaluation. Which, would benefit the woman at the beginning,because she now knows to seek more clarity from her partner.

[@PSALMSOFSONGS]

Never date a person who is not on the same accord as you. Opposites DO NOT attract.

[@halfvolley11]

For me, I am not attracted to women that like just like me. I lose the romance. So, sorry, opposites attract. Its inherent in us to be attracted to people who think different than me. You wonder why white women like black men so much?

[@yvettemarshallTWN]

@@halfvolley11 I like the opposite of myself, too. As a zodiac Sagittarius I like to learn, so how much can I learn from someone just like me? No dark without light; no light without dark. Funny because my late ex was White and I’m Black. Balance is the goal.

[@indigobeauty1]

The right match will be on the same frequency with you on important matters.

[@Mr.DeJean_3516]

Steve is speaking the truth

[@PSALMSOFSONGS]

I believe anyone can lie in the beginning of a relationship. Ten years ago, I dated a guy asked him the basic questions: was he in church? Does he drink/smoke? Does He want children and the like. Of course, me being a naive 19 year old, I believed every answer he gave me. Later on, everything he told me was a COMPLETE LIE! I Thank God I went through that because that very situation opened my eyes ever since. This is why you have to use discernment at all times. Especially when you are dating.

[@vohnvohn]

I love Steve, but I have to agree with Julissa on this one!!! #next

[@kishajones841]

I understand what Steve is saying but there’s a difference between dating someone who wants to get married in the future (even if it turns out not to be to you) and dating someone who has made it clear from the beginning that they don’t even have the desire.

[@PA-gn4fi]

You know what? The biggest problem that I have is people who look down on you and say you are selfish just because you don’t want kids/get married. I love kids but don’t want any of my own. Or get married.

[@PA-gn4fi]

@@user-ht9oc7gw1f that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Like you said, people automatically think you hate women.

[@keranichell3]

Its clear projection, how do you label someone selfish because they don’t think like others? Mind boggling

[@PA-gn4fi]

@@keranichell3 people will always judge others that don't think like them. I love going to weddings and seeing people get married but I have never seen myself walking down the altar.

[@Jakeski87]

I feel like they are serial daters; maybe not single that often. A good person doesn't just come along. If you meet someone who is very compatible with you, except for one thing, then you have a hard choice to make. You keep looking for the "perfect" person, you be looking a long time; running thru relationship and relationship.

[@ceciliem1811]

Nope! If you both have different goals, that includes not having or having kids; just date and give it a year of two! Love does conquer all!

[@fhuber7507]

Its a basic part of the relationship. One wants kids and the other doesn't will always result in problems. Run.

[@fit2bjustme]

I say be clear where you are and where you want to go because it will eliminate the ones there just to play around with your time and energy. In my early 20's I had time to burn so putting in a few years only to figure out that it was not leading to marriage was perfectly fine, because for the most part I didn't want to be married in my 20's anyway, but when i hit my mid 30's i was like if a potential does not know if i am the one in a couple years of us being together......well then.......DEUCES!!! I also made it very clear that marriage was my end game when i was in my mid 30's, so there was no misunderstandings. My now husband of 11yrs understood and 2yrs in we were married.

[@malayaanderson8222]

I feel like that’s one of those things you have to be on the same page about, if either gives up what they want that might creat resentment down the line. Personally I know I want a family, & wouldn’t be willing to give that up. So I’d rather be with someone that also wants that.

[@GodsDe]

"We're ABC, we're about as deep as a puddle" LOL

[@LadyAngela678]

When someone tells you who they are - believe them.

[@HannahEstherRuth]

Julissa is right

[@saquoiag]

Keri is so classy

[@nataliewalters2759]

My man is deep , God fearing and told me that He wants to marry me. He asked me already the ring that I like and I never initiated it. He treats me like his greatest treasure. Not all men fit into a box . That's one thing says is this," All Men" no not all some men or certain men.

[@stinemcdonald4885]

The thing is...while she is focused on marriage, she is not enjoying "being" with him which encourages the authenticity of that man's capacity to fall in love or not! Being without obsessing nourishes authenticity and true feelings can surface.

[@블랙스완-t7v]

She needs to break up with him. It's true that a man will lie and say he wants marriage but later on in the relationship, his reaction, when marriage is discussed, will reveal how he truly feels. Its a blessing in disguise because the sooner you realize this the less time you waste in a dead end relationship. It works both ways though, the guy might propose but the girl might not feel he is the one and reject his proposal. At the end of the day, the right person will change your mind on how you view marriage and kids, you either will want to have them or hold off having them until you meet the right person. Then there are the desperate folks out there who don't care who they marry or have kids with and will have 2 or 4 kids from various partners without a care in the world about "waiting for the right person".

[@awesomesk5578]

I agree with the notion But I wholeheartedly have to agree with Steve on this one

[@quickenmyend]

Steve when you say guys aren't deep why don't you just say you're talking about yourself because there is a lot more to men than what you're saying. I have met dudes that were as deep if not deeper than any woman that I've met.

[@2write2sing2dance]

Yes, you should. But, before things get serious, people should have THE TALK regarding what they see for their future and what they want in it.

[@iamauroraborealis]

Your goals and values can change through the lifetime. That’s why some couples live together happily for 10 more years and then get divorced anyway.

[@cocochanel9273]

Why is Keri hilson is so beautiful ❤️

[@denissealmonte8664]

Keri and Julissa are so beautiful 😍

[@duetromony28-22]

There is nothing wrong with DATING someone who dont want to be married. THE key word is DATING. you have to date ppl in order to find out what and who u like. A woman is suppose to be led to her husband.. Not out playing where is waldo and going off your own human lust. Alot of ppl date with their eyes now n days. Now when u finally find someone that your attracted to.. And you both seem to be on the same page.. Then u can bring up the subject of marriage. Geesh everyone is so superficial

[@masonpatrices]

I disagree with the ladies if he say he definitely did not want marriage. Leave him where he at. Key word does he see that with you. Steve is speaking 100% facts

[@kendallmallett9694]

A guy saying he doesn’t want kids vs not wanting to be Married is such a Huge difference it’s crazy.

[@defenderofdecency7218]

8 years with a man whose actions did not match his words? 8 years? That is almost a decade of her life. Wow

[@Lyn.isGrey]

Is that Keri Hilson?!?!?!

[@butterflyygyrlsworld5106]

STEVE.... you missed the mark. The young lady said the dude said he doesn’t want to get married. Period.

[@blastinkaps8826]

ButterFlyy Gyrl’s World he ain’t miss none

[@JamesCraigWhoop]

Practice abstience with someone of the same standard. Acceptable physical intimacy before and see how soon that engagement comes up.

[@greedygreedy4514]

Jullisa is such a snack! Man I wish 😣

[@Theri4444]

yes you should break up with someone who isn't on the same page about kids

[@ElCuauh510]

It’s not that I don’t wanna get married and have kids. I just feel like creating and taking care of another life is really hard. I don’t feel like I’m ready for that, I wanna wait till I know I can provide, and have the patience to be a good parent. But nowadays everyone’s still in a rush to grow up🤷🏽‍♂️, im just tryna get my life together yo

[@lucyJ.]

Yeah I agree, me and my partner are together for year and a half. We were friends for a long time before we started dating. I know he is the one for me and I love him more than anything. But he is just in a rush to have a baby, in a 2 years he even gave me a deadline. I'm just not ready for a kid and still pretty young but I don't wanna lose him. Feel just hopeless

[@iamauroraborealis]

@@lucyJ. Girl, I feel you. My bf is older than me and he’s already late for marriage and parenting so he’s in an unrealistic hurry. No logic can help, and he doesn’t really want to change his life to make that happen - just wants that to happen. Because of pressuring, I’ve turned into very anxious person and I can’t remember the time we were so blissfully together. I feel it like a burden on my chest because I want to spend the rest of my life with him, yet I don’t want any conditions and time frames from his side. Relationship should blossom flawlessly where you are accepted for who you are. There’s nothing worse than feeling trapped and doing something untrue for you to please others. You would make them happy by making yourself unhappy. It’s a hard decision but it’s not about going along with him or leaving him - it’s about respecting each other’s values and goals and finding the mutual ground to build your future on. If it doesn’t seem possible, there’s one saying going, “If you can’t make someone’s life better, at least don’t make it worse.”

[@capturedbyshelly]

This talk should be had before getting into a relationship

[@justinpenn1081]

I change my mind every day damn near on whether I want to get married or not. He might not want to now, but if you are being that kind of woman that can change his mind, he will.

[@iamauroraborealis]

Same. I would correct it a bit: If you are being that kind of woman that lets him be who he is without judging and/or pressuring, he will. Or vice versa. When someone tries to force me and change me, I definitely want to run right away.

[@heliaalves9062]

He doesn't want to get married to YOU. If you dump him, you might find out he got engaged just a couple of months after. I've seen it happen way too often. When a guy doesn't want something, it doesn't mean he really doesn't want it, it means he doesn't want it with you.

[@territ.5357]

No. Run!

[@SheIsMuvaaa]

I just feel like yes I can watch his actions and tell but I will find out INSTANTLY if he would just speak directly and honestly about it. 😬

[@Pampered_byLala]

yass leave don't let them waste ur time

[@LORGSW6]

Keri Hilson is my favorite in Steve Harvey's panels.

[@jesusistheonlywaytoheavenj7880]

Women you have to treat men like a business, when dating if their actions doesn't match what you're saying keep it moving. Until their actions match their words then you can begin to start trusting and putting your guards down....Trust is earned let the man earn your trust.. and please remove your emotions and sex before marriage before out of the table...

[@medhatfaris5808]

I was talking with my dad and I told him ,I will never get married , he said I used to be like u , then time basis all my friends get married, i was like I don't want to be alone and old I love your mom why to hold back .

[@MegaCadette55]

awww how sweet!

[@medhatfaris5808]

@jessdaisy they married since 1987. And went on a second honeymoon last year to Sri Lanka.

[@lesegonkoana8463]

I don’t care who says what, that girl is South African

[@jeffreyburney6161]

A woman putting a time frame on me when she wants to get married is a straight up red flag. Women that want to get married as soon as possible to a guy they just met usually are desperate can’t fend for themselves and Are looking for someone to financially support them. I will not settle for anything less then a woman who’s got her act together that way she can be a good partner.

[@nastasia1362]

Or have you considered the pressure put on women by the entire world to be married by a certain age?????

[@jeffreyburney6161]

@@nastasia1362 I’ve thought about it but I have to stick to healthy boundaries for myself.

[@SnowFoxParty]

Yes I have and I've felt better ever since.

[@butterflyygyrlsworld5106]

“A tough one”???? This isn’t tough! NO!!! RUN!!!

[@daniellashah7995]

Of COURSE!!! Kids are core I can’t be with someone who wants them because I don’t and vice versa

[@theunknownbachatero8899]

Exactly. She should walk off. Don't try to "change his mind."

[@LonjeMarie7]

I know you SHOULD dont waste your time,If you’re not on the same page for such a big issue as that. DONT Think you can change his mind.

[@TheTweetyrtkm]

This is so true for me. 18 yrs and i thoyght i cud change his mind about children. Stupid decision to stay. Now i am living my life

[@oneinamillion8037]

So that means they are right Steve. You shouldn't waste your time if a man doesn't see marriage in his future. Some men will be honest and say they are not interested in marriage at this time but maybe in the future.

[@camilaml2388]

Yes, if you are going for a long term thing but you want a completely different thing than the other person, yes, you should, its gonna end anyway or one of you is going to be extremely unhappy with life.

[@julianacheriza1575]

Yes it’s over you can compromise a lot of things but kids isn’t one of them

[@kaarlina4258]

I love this panel 👌🏼👌🏼

[@illenessOne]

Damn Steve, putting our secrets out.

[@jessicaboal4071]

Off topic... the woman in the middle is GORGEOUS!!!

[@robertpowell9982]

Men don't like to hear women say they are 'looking to get married', because to them it feels like an ulterior motive. Marriage and kids are her main goal, whereas we feel like we're just a means to an end. If later on down the line after marriage and kids things go south, how do we know if she's willing to try to make things work in the relationship or if she only tolerated us this whole time and just leaves us cuz she had enough? A lot of women seem to be too focused on the experience of a wedding as opposed to getting married because they actually love the person and want to stay with them. And it's often not even their fault but they are pressured by friends and family and being fed this fantasy by the media, as well as their 'biological clock' which makes them more desperate at a certain age. If you're looking for something serious and show you are open to marriage and kids, but not outright saying that is what you're looking for, you're more likely going to find what you're looking for. Don't stay or pressure men into doing things they have stated they are not comfortable doing. They may change their minds later, but that's a risk. It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to you.

[@orchidalicia7996]

Yes, as im sure resentment will build in one or other person. Or its a case of getting on with the relationship.

[@curtistinemiller1560]

TWO CANNOT 🚶 TOGETHER UNLESS AGREED....

[@chicky4444]

TIME IS A WOMAN'S KRYPTONITE BUT WHAT SHE DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT TIME IS HER BEST FRIEND! As for MEEEE, I'M NOT SIMPLE! Sorry Steven!

[@annal3155]

Break up. Being married and not wanted to be married it’s sooo different than having kids and not having kids . It’s 2 totally diff situation in every way. Break up . Don’t waste time

[@ladyloveishere1838]

Sorry Steve you wrong on this. As an adult at a mature age. Don't wait around or marry no one who don't have marriage or kids as a goal. When you are younger, yes you say those things b/c you're getting your life together & experiencing life. A grown ass man/woman knows what he/she wants & who he/she wants. It's dangerous to think you will change someone though b/c of time. If they told you they don't want all that, MOVE ON!

[@hhgcddcvhh1677]

Came here for relationship advice...Keri Hillson made me wanna start a new one 🤪🤤

[@barriep9]

No

[@nimco84]

Preach Steve true heart is the problem

[@teresakelton8286]

No. I dated someone who did not want to get married. I broke up with him.

[@Brix33333]

Keri is so pretty 😍

[@SibahleMbali]

Steve is right Before 500 views

[@machelleodom3789]

thanks for this discussion but you have to be in agreement it takes some longer to grow man tell woman what you love to hear this is true sometimes we want to hear all good things we don't want to hear what if this don't happen or what if that don't happen we are wired to believe in the impossible don't you believe in the story about cinderalla

[@ROA1988]

I love Julissa

[@skarbuskreska]

That milk and cow thing is too simple for me. When I'm together with my boyfriend but not married, why does everybody here seems to assume he gets it all and I get nothing? Because yeah I do too, I enjoy good sex, good company, get help when I need it, have some fun time, etc. As long as it is balanced, everything is ok, problems only start when one invests more than the other.

[@hlengiwezungu8152]

Yep run

[@isaaaaa6464]

If u never want to get married ever. Most people are serious when they say that

[@princessingrid6209]

Definitely

[@BigCrossVita]

Absolutely

[@hlengiwezungu8152]

So true Steve

[@mikhailmikhail8740]

Getting married and having kids is two different things.

[@aicha514]

I aint wasting my time...

[@dergluckliche4973]

Yes

[@123bathinapes]

Typical. "I want to get married, and if you don't comply within the timespan I set for you, next." Seems like a very healthy basis for a marriage. "my desire to get married is number one. The person who is willing to jump through my hoop is subordinate to that desire". If you want me to marry you, make me desire marrying you, just like I made you desire being with me, rather than muscling me into it with your damn timeframe.

[@microtechmachineshop]

my gf was marriage marraige marriage once all of her friends started getting married and having kids i never heard the end of it why would I want either?

[@deficator750]

What gives any of these girls the right to give advice on relationships and marriage they don’t have successful marriages

[@Kagiso22]

8 years?!

[@laynee2548]

The lady in the jumper has gorgeous eyes like damn 😍☺ they so big and beautiful. Her eyelashes be like bam I'm here don't worry bout it

[@OfficialEduardoCastillo]

I wish Steve would at least invite women that have at least 10 years of marriage.. not single women who are like NO DUMP HIM QUEEN

[@RM668]

💯% leave the person

[@barryp9463]

I met my wife and wanted to get married as soon as possible because as a Christian marriage before cookie but I do love my wife anyway

[@furahinibahati8347]

Men should come to the show too