Sibling Loss: The Overlooked Grief

[@omegabobbitt7880]

Been going through this since my sister passed in 2018. Everything is always about my mom. I get she lost her child but dang that was my sister

[@deeceebee82]

I lost my gentle kind brother 20 weeks ago unexpectedly. I am the oldest and Steve was 18 months younger than me, and it was 4.5 years after his birth that the next child was born. I explain to people that my parents were fully formed as people when they started having children. But us children/siblings helped to shape and form each other, we had a huge influence on the people each other became. Our siblings have been part of our entire existence. I don’t have memories of my life without Steve in them. I feel like I have lost part of myself. I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your sister 💔 We are members of a club that you wish NOONE ever had to be a part of.

[@Real.me444]

Thank you cus that's what I'm going through right now. I lost my brother a week ago and my mother even told me it's not about you and he was my only brother and I was there when he died. It's a pain and image I'll never be able to unfeel or unsee.

[@Shellsea22]

I'm going through the same thing, unfortunately.

[@CS-jm5xr]

Ewwww how selfish of you. Disgusting. That’s your mom’s child. What a sick jealous outlook

[@mirandarae9021]

When my brother died in an accident, one of the few ppl that ever cared enough to ask me how I was doing for me and not anyone else was some random stranger outside the hospital that didn’t know me or my situation. She sat with me for probably 20 minutes on the ground outside the hospital 5 years ago today in 35° weather while I cried. I don’t even know her name, but I’ll never forget her kindness and her ability to hold space for a stranger’s grief.

[@horrorbiz72]

My only older brother passed a couple of months ago on May 04, 2023. His name is Jaime Felipe Amaya. Today is his birthday and I miss him so much. I feel alone in my grief. The “friends” that I thought would be there for me are nowhere to be found. I’ve been handling his personal affairs and haven’t had much time to grieve. Between work, and researching what to do next has been very tough. I’m doing the best that I can but feel like I’m on autopilot. My heart goes out to anyone watching this video and reading the comments because there is a reason why you felt the need to search for a video like this. Maybe you feel alone and put aside like I do. We will get through this. I don’t know how, but we will. One hour, minute at a time.

[@crystals6352]

❤❤

[@jikufiku4604]

Sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to your family. I more than understand and I’m literally on autopilot myself. Although once im alone and the autopilot comes off the pain I feel is so excruciating I don’t think it’s ever going to go away but I’d like to think that maybe one day I can turn most of that pain to happy thoughts and memories and energy to continue living how’d they want us to.

[@dawnofthedelts]

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[@michellemustari498]

Play just lost my brother 3 days ago to cancer most painful thing in my life I don't know how I'm going to get through this please people keep me in prayer my God is my only hope and strength

[@donnamarie4510]

I lost my brother 💔 he was my best friend and my soul mate. I feel guilty because I was calling him for days and texting him and he wasn't getting back to me. Every day that went by I got more and more worried. I finally broke down crying in my house for an hour before I left my house before I got into my car to drive over to his apartment. When I took the key to open his apartment door, I felt such a bad gut feeling. It felt like someone was in his apartment. I walked into his bathroom and he was face down. I turned him over and said Kevin. I took his arm and said please Kevin. I cry every day. I can't believe I found my brother Kevin dead on his bathroom floor. This was January 3, 2022. The police are still trying to find out who killed my brother. My heart is forever broken 💔 I will never be the same again. My brother was always there for me. I love him so much. He will always remain in my heart forever. I love you Kevin so much.

[@NomadJan]

Oh my god, Donna! How traumatic for you! I'm so sorry to know that you are the person who found your brother like that. My heart goes out to you and I do hope that your heart will mend in time. I don't consider myself as someone who prays, but maybe in my own way, I do and my thoughts are with you and your brother's soul. Maybe Kevin and my brother are up there in heaven praying for us that we can heal and go on with our lives. My Brother was incredibly special to me as well. My heart is broken, too. We must find a way to move forward... but never forget. I know you won't forget your brother and somehow, he will always be with you. Be well, Donna. Take care of yourself and your Heart.

[@cobyn_tv123]

Thinking of you Donna ❤️

[@reneesantiago6496]

So he had been dead several days?

[@mariahnichols5872]

I am so sorry. Truly, I lost my 23 year old brother July,18,2022. I'm 25 and I was 6 months pregnant when he died. We are still unsure of how he died and why ... I feel your pain. I Did not find my brother though is girlfriend did. I see how it effects her I feel the loss, you are not alone.

[@carltonpiercey9220]

Oh no! What is there to say? There's a tear in my eye and I'm not exactly a crier. Honey, not your fault. You had something, I believe God, telling you something was wrong and you needed to go check. If you would have taken what you think was the first chance you couldn't have saved him. If the perpetrator would have still been present, you might have also been murdered. I'm trying not to preach that's not what you need right now. Do you think you're having survivor's guilt in a way? You are not alone. I done lost someone who I regarded as a brother, to drugs. mercy. I was in my own alcoholism. I knew he was struggling. I had thoughts of if only I would have stopped drinking long enough to help him, that he would be alive today. I'm sober since 4 Jun 2012. Adam died in 2010. AA done helped me realise it wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could have done drunk or sober. I need you to realise that it's not your fault and there was nothing you could have done. You cannot carry that feeling of guilt, could have should have would have. Please don't think that way. I hope you read every word of this. I don't have to have met you I already love you or I would not be writing. You in my prayers

[@tracymccreary7441]

When I was 6 years old I lost my 5 year old brother. 1978 I don't think people back then recognized this kind of trauma. I have struggled with this all my life. I'm 51 years old now.

[@glamgalnorth6320]

My sister passed a week ago. This is all new to me and has sucked the life out of me. But with God’s grace and mercy,I will get through this.

[@jeanroth159]

I lost my beautiful sister Joni yesterday,my heart is broken,she was not only a sister she was my very first best friend.i will miss her gentle heart,she did not judge she only loved.May you rest in heavenly peace sweetJoni,until we meet again i love you,Jeanie🕊🤍🤍

[@oziasrealm471]

My older brother passed away 10 days ago. I loved him dearly. I don’t know where to even begin. 🕊

[@7389]

I'm sorry. 💔

[@maggie4922]

So very sorry , I share your grief ,i lost my brother 2 days ago.

[@beanxburrito]

I lost my older brother, Matt on February 4 2023 to opioids. My only sibling. I thought he’d be here until the end 💔

[@Dcnm9498]

To everyone in these comments grieving and not knowing where to begin or how to feel. I just want to tell you that it will get easier to manage the pain. My lil brother passed away four years ago at age 21 due to an overdose. Aside from my brother. He was my bestfriend. I didn’t know what to do for many months straight my mind was scattered full of emotion but with the power of god and the will to continue to live for him. It gets easier. His name is Daniel Joshua Castro. Forever. Young 💚

[@lindalu7408]

My younger Sister Debbie passed unexpectedly January 8, 2024. Having lost both parents within 6 months of each other and now my first baby doll…I’m the eldest sibling. This hits so differently. It was a gut punch I’ll never forget. I love that girl. We only had her celebration of life service February 3, 2024, so at this writing it’s still so so fresh. Her favorite color was orange so I use the orange heart 🧡 in her memory.

[@jennifertucker2581]

Sister passed away 2 weeks ago from Sepsis. Sending hugs

[@lindalu7408]

@@jennifertucker2581 sending love and hugs your way too. You must talk it out when you’re ready. It’s still pretty fresh.🕊️

[@dpad200x8]

My family just buried my older brother the other day. I've been trying to process losing him for a little over a week. I'm now the oldest of my siblings and cousins, and he left behind two beautiful, wonderful kids who will only know him as photographs and stories. He was supposed to be there for me when our parents passed,. Instead, I was there for our parents when he passed. Thank you for this video, which plainly stated a lot of things I've been thinking and feeling, but it's nice to hear from the outside. To everyone who has commented or found this video for reason I did, I wish you nothing but the best. Know that your pain is real, it is shared, and you are loved.

[@DianaMarie23051]

I am a twice suicide survivor. I’m glad I found you. I lost my only sibling, my brother to suicide. And now I have lost my youngest child, my son to suicide. I am struggling to survive this grief. It consumes my every waking hour. And even in my sleep through nightmares! Losing them is hard enough. But losing them this way is so much harder. I worry for my children more than ever now. I’m in therapy but I’m so distraught that I do not leave my house if I dont have to. I use to visit my daughter at least every other week. I don’t anymore. I am hurting & there is no way to hide it. I do the best I can when I do see them. I want to be there more for them more but I dont know how. It causes me more grief when I am with them. We do talk daily. But that’s not the same. I try to hide my sorrow as much as I can. But sometimes I can’t. I hope that what I learn from you will help me in my suicide grief journey.

[@aflower5768]

I lost my older brother. I found him hanging outside of our house an hour after new year. I had called him many times but he never picked up so I assumed he just didn't wanna talk, he sometimes does that. When I went outside, I saw him standing strangely. I yelled his name out a few times but I didn't receive an answer. At that moment, I was probably the most scared I had ever been. I ran inside and told my mom to call my brother inside. And that's when things went downhill. My brother had committed suicide right before the new year... I am only 17, I suddenly have so many responsibilities on my hands and I have to stay strong for my parents. Being someone with severe depression and trauma, this all feels like a dream... He left me with another trauma. I miss him and I loved him. Rest in peace, brother...

[@kelseyjowest9974]

God bless you for this. “Take care of your mom” or “how’s your mom? Or everyone else” … that hits home.

[@barryberkmanblock]

28 years since my brother's funeral, and I still remember the receiving line of adults patting my tiny arm and telling me to take care of my mom.

[@CK-wc8ow]

@@barryberkmanblock ❤

[@leovargas9831]

Its been a rough ride emotionally for everyone. Mom is ok, it's still very hard for her to except and cope at times but everyone does their fair share to give her support. Thank you for your kind words!

[@Ydce1891]

Same for me, when my sister died I my mom was two weeks away from giving birth to our younger sister. I remember my dad telling me that I had to take care of my mom and not to make her upset. That stuck with me for a long time, I was seven when my sister died and spent the rest of my childhood and adolescence with worrying about not upsetting her. I couldn’t cry because she would cry, I wasn’t allowed to feel because my parents loss was greater then mine. It’s so invalidating when you’re a second tear person after the loss of such a big part of your life. Ever since I have kind of been a loner and isolate when I’m having a hard time since I was left alone so much while she was sick and after she died and then our sister was born. I didn’t matter in my family unless they needed me for something. It still is that way, now that I’ve been so sick with autoimmune diseases no one calls because I can’t do things for them. Now the only times I matter is when I’m sick enough to be in the hospital. My sister and I have both been so sick but why did her illness take her and mine keep me here to suffer without her. We we’re connected at the hip and I’ve had to go through life without that one person

[@lapompeii720]

Exactly! When my brother died, my uncle literally walked up to me and said "you need to be strong for your mother". I wanted to tell him, "I need strength too!"

[@annsjoholm7310]

My brother Joakim took his own life 3 months ago, I talk to him every day, like he is still here, and he is then, it helps a little in this enourmous grief.

[@Oklahoma75]

I lost my brother in 1991. I was 19, he was 16. It was sudden and totally unexpected. I saw him 90 minutes before he died. That was the last time I hugged him and heard his voice. He had asked to borrow my truck for prom 😂😂. Of course, I told him yes. I digress, I’m writing this for me to be honest. I’ve never dealt with it appropriately. Not through addiction or gambling or anything terrible, but I’ve lived with such an empty void for 33 years. It has become who I am. As our parents have aged and had health issues, I have felt so alone and afraid. When mom and dad pass, it will be just me. Yes, I have a loving wife and three kids, but I feel alone/empty. Of my own volition and by recognizing this, I have started with a counselor for the first time in 53 years. I’ve never wanted to deal with it. Yes, I cry when I’m alone sometimes, think about what could have been or tell myself an idealized version of what I think life would be like should he still be here. I weep over every little slight, fight, or when I didn’t want little bro tagging along. Makes me feel all the more terrible because I’d give just about anything to have him here now. I am angry with him because I’m not sure if it was an intentional act or just a terrible accident although it really doesn’t matter as the end result is either way, he’s not here. He left me…. Or that’s the way I feel. If I could have one hour with him I’d hit him right square in the mouth then spend the rest of that time hugging him and telling him how MUCH I love him and how I have missed him. He’s never met my wife or kids, he’s a picture to them. He hasn’t been there to help me deal with Dad and his health issues (Dad has been devastated ever since although you can’t tell as an outsider). He wasn’t here to at least hold my hand and Mom’s hand as she battled and beat cancer. Then, I feel guilty about wanting him back or wanting to change the past because I wouldn’t have met my wife or have the kids I have now. I have been so angry with God for allowing this. I turned my back on God completely until about 5 years ago. God and I reconciled about 5 years ago and He has sent me on this journey to this point ever since. One of the things I’m committed to doing is sharing with others to attempt to help by sharing. I get joy through helping others. If there is someone reading this in a similar situation or to whom this has happened to recently I want to tell you that you are NOT alone. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, only a healthy and unhealthy way. I encourage you and pray you will waste no time in seeking advice and guidance on a healthy way to grieve. God bless and all my love!

[@richiebrown6486]

Lost my sister about a week ago she was 24 about 3 years younger than me. And the amount of time I didn't spend hanging out with her even though I lived in the same building is really breaking My heart. I know I don't really like hanging out with very many of my friends and family so I hope that she knew it wasn't just her. And it's not like I knew she was going to die because she died suddenly. I just hope one day I get to see her again and we can hang out like we did when we were little kids

[@nonbiz1520]

I lost my brother suddenly in 2003. The last time I saw him I was kicking out if a dinner for my father. I lived out of town and did NOT want to talk to his old friends. I felt guilty for not doing more. I’m sure they did too. Then I went back to where I lived, and it was like it never happened. Please talk to someone. It helps.

[@Zikato]

Just lost my 24 year old sister to a drug overdose, she was older than me but I can understand how you feel

[@Mermare]

The biggest thing for me, is my sibling was the only one who knew what we went through as kids. He's the only person who understood the inside jokes, and the good and bad of our childhoods.

[@AliciaBriana1]

My brother unexpectedly passed away at 24 in January. He was my only brother. I hope I can be enough for our parents. It’s so painful.

[@ellebeauty8737]

So sorry for your loss. I am dealing with the same. My only brother was killed 3/16 tragically. Weeks before his 25th birthday. I don’t even know where to begin. The pain is unimaginable.

[@Amma_lumina]

I'm sorry for your loss. You are enough ❤

[@AliciaBriana1]

@@ellebeauty8737 I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sorry I just saw this message now. I hope you’re doing alright ❤️

[@grieftherapist]

Sibling Loss is widely under recognized yet it changes one's view of life... This video is dedicated to Worldwide Bereaved Siblings Month. 👫👬👭 Please leave a comment to teach us all what has helped you in the loss of your sister or brother. 💞 If you want to learn about joining my private online membership called The Grievolution Collective you can find information here. www.jomcrogers.com/grievolution-collective.html

[@silviavivanco6848]

Yes siblings loss is under recognized and it does change ones view of life, it erases the possibility of a future, it is horrible, my sister passed away a year ago, I am still grieving her loss

[@evita5185]

my only and older brother Eggy passed away at 36 3 weeks ago, and he was my mom soulmate, her safety net and harbor. While i'm grieving myself i also grief for my mom for having to get through all this, if i could take his place instead to lessen her pain i'd do it gladly.. i'd never be capable enough to fill his shoes. The thought of growing old without him is unbearable.

[@groupersti]

I lost my brother in 1981. I so wished I have gotten help for my grief instead the road I went down not having children or letting anyone get close to me. I seem to miss him more the older I get and find myself wondering what he would be up to and how my life may have been different. I'm almost 60 years old and I miss you Russell.

[@NomadJan]

Thank you so much for this, Jo. My brother's name was Daren. He was our light and the glue that held our family together. He died, unexpectedly one month ago. He was the youngest, the only boy and he loved us, his sisters, so much. Our family feels different...smaller...something's missing....broken. I only hope that he is in a better place now, at peace. Thank you for thinking of him in your meditations.

[@gracecasey2]

My little sister passed away 8 months ago. She like your brother, held our family completely together. She was the breath of fresh air that we always needed. My family has also changed. A piece of the puzzle will be forever missing. There is just a sadness when we are together.

[@NomadJan]

I can certainly appreciate your situation and I'm very sorry for your loss, Grace. As you're the one here, writing in this thread and expressing your feelings perhaps now, you will be the one who can bring a breath of fresh air to your family. And hopefully, in time, things will get better. If they don't, then know what to expect and have peace in the fact that you give a shit enough, to share and look for answers. Now that some time has gone by since Daren died, and I've become a bit more adjusted to my new reality, I've been making more of an effort to stay in touch with my 2 sisters. My older sister has started to lean on me in a way that she never did before...in a really good way. We promised each other that we would go through this together. I've also been there for my Mom in a way, that I've never had to be, before. It's brought us closer and...she's 80 now. It's really hard for her to have lost her only boy. She's getting old in her ways and I just want for her to have some peace and as much happiness as possible in her last years. As a free spirited person who has always just done whatever, I now feel as though I have more of a responsibility to my family and especially to my Mother. It's sort of a role that my Brother took on after my Dad died. But there's still my little sister. If I don't call her, I would probably never hear from her! This is no different than before, though. My brother's passing didn't make a difference where hers and my relationship is concerned, although I hoped that it would. She's not once, expressed any grief over our brother's passing. But she's cried over the passing of her deceased husbands great nephew. I couldn't believe my ears when she went on and on and on about a person who she hardly knew! But never expressed her feelings about our brother! It makes me feel so sad and I don't even know what to say to her! She even told me that her ex's family has made her feel like more of their family, than our family does. It really hurt me to hear her say that, when I'm the one who always calls her, just to say hi and see how she's doing. She never does that with us girls. Most of the time, she doesn't even ask me how I'm doing or even what I'm up to :(. She only calls my older sister when she needs something. Now that my older sister doesn't grow what my sister used to call for, my older sister doesn't hear from her either. I really hoped that would change, but it hasn't. I don't think there's anything that I can do now, except what I've always done. And I'm not going to stop. So Grace, stay strong and do your best to nurture the relationships that you already have with your family. And accept love and nurturing from those who offer it to you as long as it's healthy. This stuff sucks but we still need to keep moving forward and take care of ourselves. It's okay though to feel sad when you feel sad. I hope your sister comes to you in your dreams, like my Brother does. He just always says 'hi', asks me how I'm doing and tell me that he's fine...that he's just taking a little break. 💔🥰 RIP my brother. Please come and see me again, soon! It's been a little while 🙏 Janice

[@NomadJan]

Oh yeah...and tomorrow, November 5th, would have been my brother's 55th Birthday. I always loved calling him for his birthday! Often times he was working in the bush for his B-day and had no cell reception, but he always got back to me when he could to acknowledge the call and so say thank you. Damn...

[@br0kensun]

my younger brother died 2 weeks ago, unexpectedly also. only boy.. so i understand how you feel… he was only 28

[@NomadJan]

@@br0kensun I'm so sorry to hear that. May he rest in peace. Please take care of yourself. The healing path for you and your family can be a bit rough so please remember to take good care of yourself. 🙏

[@lorieduval410]

I recently lost my younger brother at age 49. He was the most amazing man, brother, husband and son I’ve ever known. So kind to everyone n full of life. Died suddenly. I’m having a hard time with accepting this as realty. My mind can’t wrap around it. We were extremely close. We had big plans together for our future! My heart is forever broken.

[@julzluvzdollz]

Brandon Alan Taylor is my beloved brother who passed on 8/5/24. Thank you so much for this loving helpful video as I work through my grief and continuing on in this world without him. ❤

[@Mary-tj5qx]

I wish this kind of content had been available years ago when my sister died. It was an eviscerating experience and I had no support because it was simply not acknowledged as significant by anyone. My sister was my best friend all of my life. She died young and i cared for her as she died. The planet cracked that day. I'll miss her for the rest of my life. It's simply a huge wound I've just had to grow to accept. But I'll never get over it.

[@jikufiku4604]

I lost my brother a month ago from pancreatic cancer and it feels unreal. It feels wrong that I’m here and he’s not. I wouldn’t have been the person I am without him and I’m afraid of the person I will become without him. I love you so much bro and I’m going to do everything I can to make you proud. ❤

[@yeyhello1]

I lost two siblings in 13 months. My 27 year old sister passed in march last year and my 26 year old brother in may this year. When my sister died I was completely devastated. I didn't function as a human being. I couldn't even shop or drive. I looked blankly out the window but saw nothing. I forgot I had a brother, I wasn't completely siblingless. After a few months I started to appreciate my brother more, we became closer. We spent a lot of time together, we went to concerts, played games, ate together and mourned our sister. I told him nothing could happen to him, he was all I had left. As we both began to come back to life, he became ill. Three weeks later he passed away. I spent all the hours of the day by his side in the intensive care unit. I begged and begged and begged - please don't take my brother too. I layed in his arms until he stopped breathing. I listened to his heartbeat until it went silent. The months after cannot even be described. I'm apathetic. My soul is gone. I am dead.

[@simona_sigmund1001]

I am so incredibly sorry for you and your siblings. It's devastating and I don't understand why this world can be so cruel. My heart broke for you whilst reading this. Losing your loved ones is the worst agony you could feel that setting yourself on fire would feel like a holiday. From a fellow sibling griever - you are seen and understood my friend 💙

[@kristenallred2273]

My sister, Kim, passed on February 15 after a 3 1/2 year battle with cancer. She was 43. Her daughter just celebrated her 10th birthday party this weekend. Some days are harder than others, and this is one of them. I give thanks that my sister is now free of cancer and no longer in pain. And I know Kim was grinning like a fool, watching my niece singing karaoke to Taylor Swift with her girlfriends yesterday. But that doesn’t change the fact that cancer is a rat bastard, and I miss my sister.

[@muzikhead007]

My sister, Crystal, 9 1/2 years younger, passed last year a month after she turned 33 from a brain aneurysm caused by Lupus. I was blessed to have her as my sister in the mess of a dysfunctional family dynamic we have. We were soul sisters from the beginning and each others biggest supporters. I miss her more than words can express and feel lost in my grief as I alone now have to navigate between both of our difficult parents. Being in a support group with others who shared the same loss was most helpful. She was and is my ray of light in what feels like a dark empty place now.

[@MsBelinda1958]

I lost my sister a year ago . She battled with cancer for 7 years . Her 21 year old daughter died a year prior to her death . I cannot get over the loss of her . I cry all the time . My other sister is having a hard time too . Knowing that I can’t see or hear her voice again is hard . Her name is Paula Needler Karpinski . I thought I heard her call my name when I was in my car in the driveway. It was so clear and it was as if she was sitting right next to me . My faith makes me believe I will see her again it’s just hard living in this world without her 😢

[@carmellarkin4803]

My younger sister was my best friend and support after my daughter died. She died 13 months after my daughter. The world has gone dark and silent without them both.

[@kathleenmorgan6968]

My sister died early this morning. I have listened to your video 2x now. You have so aware this grief is extreme. I care for my 90 year mother and have been preparing for her passing. Not my sister. I'm in San Diego if you can refer me to someone it would be very helpful. She was a friend and mentor just like you said.

[@Makeupforever321]

I just lost my brother 3 weeks ago in a tragic car accident…he knew me better than I even knew myself . 💔

[@barrycorbett1747]

Thank you for your spot-on analysis. I lost two brothers, many years apart. Of course, each loss was different but the first was far more difficult because it happened in childhood. I was seven and my 8 year old brother died unexpectedly from a burst appendix. As you describe, it's a double loss because your parents are no longer the same people, and while they go through the various and horrific stages of grief, you are left to sort it out on your own. Birth order is never discussed. I had been the middle child and was suddenly thrust into the older child's role, while having to fill the void left by my older brother. I had a real case of survivor's guilt. I got through it somehow, but spent many years in anger and depression. It affected all of my relationships, since I would never let people get close enough to hurt me again. Finally, I got some very helpful therapy and was able to marry and raise children of my own. At 52, my younger bother died.

[@ryanthec]

Spot on. We were like Twins. She was Arnold and I was Danny DeVito. But she always treated me like we were equals. “We’re twins.” Best wishes to anyone that is watching this video. It’s been over five years and it hurts the same every day.

[@horitanurdin2880]

My sister Lina passed away in March 2021, I still cried for her to this day. She was my best friend. I dont want to forget her, yet it is still painful when I think of her.

[@richardridder5052]

Thank you Jo. My 70 year old fraternal twin, Cherie, died unexpectedly. We always talked about what it would be like when we got to 90:) Today is the 6 month anniversary and I am just sad. I think the loss of the shared history, the unique sense of family humor is the most painful part, as well as being the last survivor of my nuclear family.

[@Manzartr]

My oldest brother, Ed Jr., unexpectedly died on September 9, 2023 at the age of 86. I'm 81 and the only one left of my immediate family.

[@crystals6352]

❤❤

[@leegwen958]

I lost my big sister 6 months ago at the age of 38. She was more of a parent and friend when we were growing up with my bro. Her life was inspirational and I looked up to her as a role model. My sister became the sole breadwinner when my parents retired. She was supposed to visit over the Christmas holidays, sadly she didn't even make it to Christmas. My parents are devastated and it breaks my heart to see them hurting. It hurts me everyday, whenever I think of the lost times and the future without her. I joined a grief support group, and it helps me somehow. I love and miss you Phostine.❤

[@omairaayala6077]

I lost my younger brother in March 2020. He died of a heart attack . He left behind 2 beautiful kids and a wonderful wife. We have been devastated. He was the light of the party. But life had more in storage for us. My oldest brother died in April 2021 and another one died in December 2021. The last one died 3 days ago . He was 62. Also from a heart attack. To this point I don't even want to tell anybody I know. It sounds like a very unique story. I feel numb. I don't know what to think. I don't want to cry, I don't want to pray. I feel so sad, with no energy to keep living a normal life. I imagine this is normal considering the circumstances.

[@CatCmdr]

Thank you for addressing when siblings don’t get along. It doesn’t mean you don’t grieve. My sibling who just died earlier this evening and I were “estranged”. It was sad, but necessary. Anyway, thanks for having that part in there. ❤️

[@NomadJan]

I'm sorry, Brenda, to know about the loss of your sibling. This is very fresh for you and I'm glad that you found this video so soon. It helped me and I think I need to watch it again. Condolences to you and your family.

[@losingmyfavoritegame8752]

It has been 6 years since my sister died. I haven't searched "sgrief sibling died" until now. I miss my sister more than any other. I hope I just have a chance to relax now that I am here. I hope to find something I can relate to. I am positive that I am not the only person who is looking this up, feeling lonely. You are never alone, other person! 😌

[@luzjamaica8530]

I really wanted to hear this right know my brother died 2 years ago almost 3 and i'm feeling like It has been not progres on my grief I feel as sad as the first year so lonely but at the same time surrounded by a lot of people

[@Toms_gg]

This was spot on. My 30 year old son Tommy took his own life in July. I only have 2 boys and now my 22 year old son is going through what you talked about. Thank you for sharing this about siblings. I’m dealing with it as a parent and trying to console my son as well. It’s just a living nightmare every day. I’ve decided.. it’s a “life sentence “😢

[@bluestrings8829]

He certainly is. I am the younger brother who lost his brother in February. It's like a never ending depressed state of being. I suppose we can only wonder who has it easier being left here to mourn or on the other side. I'm sorry for yours and his loss. And the rest of your family.

[@DoubleTrDavid]

My brother of 5 years older than me just passed from depression 💔. Ive never felt this pain before- this emptiness. I feel when he did what he did he took my soul with his. I see no future for me. The future i had anticipated doesnt seem so clear as it was when he was still here with me. 10 days after his birthday he did it😞- i feel so broken , so lonely- helpless. Like ive been thrown in the deep end of a pull with a bag over my head.

[@lenorabarclay275]

I lost my brother 34 days ago. His name was John. Please keep us I'm your prayers. I'm heartbroken 💔 thank you

[@lindaemmett8977]

My younger adult sister Jacki passed away unexpectedly two days ago. Thank you for this video. These past few days have been filled with grief and dispare. I'm hoping to find comfort eventually in the unique relationship we shared.

[@cassandrasalvador7273]

My older sister passed away at 20 years old 5 years ago in a tragic car accident. She was my best friend. I was a teenager when she passed, and I felt (and still feel) immense pressure dealing with the grief that you so articulated so well on top of trying to figure out the world.

[@_bendymia]

hi cassandra, i had chills reading your comment just now as my older sister also suddenly passed away when she was 20 years old. she had compromised health and her body could not keep going. i was 18 at the time and am now 22. i really resonate with your feelings of heaviness and confusion. it will be her 4 year anniversary this sunday and i cant quite believe it. sending you and your sister love and peace

[@guldogan464]

Are you okay now😢

[@doritosSsSsS]

I lost my brother a couple of days ago to hard-attack. He was my everything, he was a bestfriend and soulmate in so many ways. Always has my back and always stood up for me. The worst comments are when they only ask for everyone else than yourself of how one is doing after the death. Or when they tell me that «its gods plan» and so

[@LifesSecondAct-LetsDoThis]

Thank you for this video. My older brother was a pedestrian hit by a car and killed last weekend at age 50. We were estranged for several years. Family trauma and some mental health so my mom and I knew we had to separate. Regardless, I loved him so much. I knew he was in pain and trying to heal his wounds from the trauma years. He found his healing through music and the people in Ashland, OR. He became an icon there a one man didgeredoo playing band. The people of Ashland have done so much to honor him including a candlelight vigil last night. Your video helped me so much by not looking back at decisions to take space in our relationship. At the time, it was necessary. Thank you for that important reminder. My two other siblings and mom say it feels surreal and they are not experiencing heavy emotions as I am. Thank you for the reminder we all grieve differently. I have reached out to many friends he had in Ashland via social media and connecting with them has been a great source of healing...knowing how well loved he was..really fils my heart...still, this is complicated grief. His name is Mark Langille or as the people of Ashland and Joshua Tree know him, Marcus Fire.

[@aliciafarmer4763]

Thank you for sharing. I lost my older and only sibling, my sister, when I was 17. She was 4 years older. I still miss her and it happened in 2000.

[@simona_sigmund1001]

You made me feel so seen 💙 Me and my 2 brothers were raised in an abusive and highly religious family. As the eldest daughter I was parentified and felt very responsible for my brothers, so when one of my brothers died I felt an extreme amount of guilt. My relationship with my surviving brother has struggled, but recently we've slowly begun to repair our relationship after 3yrs since losing our brother. It's such a hard journey to be on. It doesn't help that I'm estranged from my mum and my dad also died last year. Grief is this giant mountain that I must climb. All I want now is to become close to my surviving brother and maybe we can find some solice in one another

[@sarastar9587]

My sweetheart younger brother Jonathan passed away 6 weeks ago. He was and is so pure & loving, gentle, selfless, without ego, quietly always taking care of others around him in the family, neighborhood, and work before taking care of himself. He had stopped responding to our Mom's calls and texts when our family dog who he loved and raised was about to cross the rainbow bridge. I thought it was strange he wasn't calling us back to fly here to visit her. In truth they passed away at the same time. But we didn't know until his building and police called us. He was only 41, and so much good life left to live and with us. I'm devastated he died alone. Your video spoke to my grief, angst, and guilt. We are a close loving family but I was waiting for a reconciliation that was supposed to happen when he visited us for our family pup and we were 1 month from visiting him. Our family friends and faith are getting us through. I had to search for sibling support because it's true I felt our sibling grief was forgotten. I want to say to you my sweet, dearest brother Jonathan, I and We Love You So Much ❤️ I wanted to die but I will live to care for what you leave behind and for our senior parents and our youngest brother. We will see you again soon and be reunited 💕❤️ 🐕‍🦺🐶❤️💕💗🌹

[@lilyelizabeth8173]

I'm glad I found your page. It's been very helpful. I'm the oldest of 3 sisters. We were very close, especially as adults. They were my best friends. We did everything together. I lost my youngest sister 8 years ago from complications after a surgery. She fought to stay with us and her son. But, ultimately passed away after 4 months. I lost my other sister 4 years ago. She passed away suddenly from a pulmonary embolism. I visited her that day. She made dinner for us. We discussed plans for Thanksgiving. She wasn't feeling well, so I asked if I should stay until she felt better. She said no, I'm tired, I'm going to try to get some sleep. I said ok, told her I loved her, then left. A little over an hour later I received a call from my nephew telling me the paramedics were there and that she was gone. I miss them terribly, even after all this time. Losing them, I had no one to talk with over shared childhood memories, as my parents had passed also. All our plans for the future were lost along with them. Not a day goes by without thinking of them.

[@teresazube]

My brother, Eric, died unexpectedly at 44 in February. I'm the oldest and we had two younger sisters. He had a wife and two children. We are a very close family. The confusion of roles has been pronounced as you said. We always joked that he was the voice of reason and our rock, after growing up with a bunch of emotional chicks. I struggled with addiction a few years ago and caused my family a lot of heartache and while I am grateful to be sober and capable of my big sister role once again, I have had some passing thoughts that it should have been me. I don't dwell there, it just helps to admit I've had them. Thank you for this video. You have very beautiful energy. Namaste.

[@carolyndiognardi5890]

Thank you for going over the siblings issues. They had so much competition with me. Ended them all in rivaling me when our mother died. It was sick & still is since 2011. They were unable to acknowledge parental abuse of other siblings & grandchildren. Turned it into a war because the father/ mother put too much abuse into family. Parents were never accountable & turned the siblings against each other to hide their abuse. Parents played favorites with siblings that protected their lies & abuse/gaslighting others siblings. They never cared about the family. Only cared about abusive mentally ill parents. Lost my 5 siblings to feeling like they died after my mother / father died. They treated me like crap & rejected me each in their own way, kept me out and punished me, competed with me, lied constantly,were jealous of me, tried to provoke me, told me my parents didn’t love me etc etc… just unsupportive of my life & my children in every way, insulted my son & Godmother unjustly accused him, they all smear campaigned me, bullied me, told me I was never their for them when I was and did care for & loved them, they accused me of stealing from my mother after she died some crystal she gave me years ago,I supported them and their families, they were cold & sarcastic & cruel, & I visited them, they prevented me from having anything from my mothers house, they told me I had mortality issues when mom died because I was a little sad. they were so entitled & gave me garbage, they betrayed me, they were fake people to me, ganged up on me, abused me after funeral calling me names??? invited me for thanksgiving then had me sit away from the family with strangers, they insulted my cooking, they never asked-manipulated my father into buying them a house with the inheritance just before he died, they avoided contacting me, then they told me I did that to them. They are drunk & disorderly and abuse each other as well. Because I went no contact. I know it’s none of my business what others think of me. And anything others say about me does not reflect any truth about me but is actually a projection of who they are. Because I refused to tolerate their immature disrespect. I can go on & on.

[@erikkaridinger3388]

You hit every nail on the head. I feel like I have lived 2 lives...and the one I previously lived ended the day my kid brother died. He was 36. Honestly, it took my joy, my security, and my only ally for when we lose our parents. I avoid my family now bc its so sad to be missing such a crucial piece. Forever changed and am afraid I have already lived my best life. 😢 Im starting to forget his voice.

[@jordangardner3941]

My big brother passed away a month ago on the 11 of July 2024 when Liam was 22. and this video has hit every nail on the head on how unrecognised mine (19) and my younger brothers (17) grief is. I felt that i had not only lost my big brother but my mum to and that made the process a lot harder as she would often lash out at me when consumed by her grief. I have often been told to take care of my mother and that I’m “lucky” to not have been the child to have done this to my parents. (My brother took his own life) I was always asked how my parents and brother or even my grandparents were doing never how myself was handling my grief. Me being the next eldest I felt that I had the responsibility to fill in many of the roles that were missing now that my parents were grieving and i largely felt that my grief had to pushed aside to care for my parents and younger brother. I often felt that my parents would have preferred that it was me to have passed away instead or that it was my fault for not seeing any signs of his mental health issues before it was too late. And due to the lack of art I gave to my grief I had little to no improvement to my own personal mental health even now that the funeral has passed. Im currently seeking resources to help me try and understand and navigate my grief and how I can also support my brother without diminishing my own needs and this video has helped so thank you.

[@JesseVisser]

I lost my older brother almost a week ago to an unexpected allergic reaction... he was only 29. He had his entire life ahead of him. He was the most amazing, passionate, fiery, funniest, kind, and caring person I ever got to experience. I already miss you so much Ryan. He left behind his girlfriend and their newborn baby who was only 7 weeks old. His son will never get to personally know the truly amazing man he was, but he will know him through all of our stories and memories. My younger sister and I feel somewhat overlooked and forgotten since his passing... everyone says my mom, dad, his girlfriend, and their baby are affected the most- but that's simply not true. We lost our older brother. Our protector. Our best friend. It's just not fair. No one truly understands the pain of what it's like to lose a sibling until it happens to them... I just wish I had more time with him and made more time to see him and text him. What's helping me through this is my spirituality and I know he's still with me- I feel his energy and spirit and protection with me. I was just talking to him 15 minutes ago and then this video pops up in my recommended with 3333 views... thank you for this video Ryan. I love you always.

[@MeganVictoriaKearns]

I relate to this so much, unfortunately. I'm so sorry for your loss because I understand the pain. My brother (only sibling) was 3 years younger, but BY FAR the more "grown up" of us two. He got his degree before me, he got a "real job/career" before me, got married, bought a house, and had kids before I did. (A 4 year old son and a 7 month old son - who looks EXACTLY like him, btw!) I loved with my whole soul. He died December 15, 2018 after just turing 34 3 weeks prior. I struggled with addiction in my 20's and I really let him down on a repeated basis for years. I embarrassed him, caused him worry... but every time I got put in a hospital he was there. He dropped everything to be at my emergency intervention. He defended me when our mutual friends were critical of me and my choices/behavior/lack of progression in life. When his wife tried to take back my role as a bridesmaid in their 2011 wedding because between the time she asked me to be in the wedding to the time the wedding happened, I'd gone through the intervention I mentioned and to be there for me, my brother had to scrap plans they'd made for that day. She was literally furious over it and texted me just before I handed over my phone at rehab calling me "crazy Megan" and "ruining her life" (Yes, she's a vindictive entitled brat.) He told her directly, "If you take my sister out of the ceremony and embarrass her like that I'm not marrying you." (My brother and I shared the same large friend group). At his funeral, I was a speaker. Despite being terrified of public speaking I just HAD TO do it. I had to do one last thing for him. I needed to atone for the shit I dragged him into and all the holidays I missed because I was too depressed to shower and do my hair. I am not religious but I just needed him to know the last thing I did regarding being part of his life, was to suck it up, face fear head-on, and speak of him with a farewell message that showed him how much he was loved and admired. I said, in part, "I guess I hit the brother lottery when Adam and I got paired up. Sorry if you all are jealous. (got a laugh 😂) In my life, I have let my brother down. I have embarrassed him, caused him to worry... and he forgave me for all of it. I'm not a religious person, but I carry a belief that not only is the act of forgiveness a selfless gift from somebody, it's a gift that not all people possess the strength of character, the kindness of the heart, the grace to give. Not all people CAN forgive someone. They can say it. But my little brother forgave me for real. I did not deserve it. He was my life partner and I will always be "Adam's sister" no matter how much time passes after today." (Have on tape so it's literally what I said.) Holy crap I am so sorry for this tangent I went on! I decided to leave it in case someone who maybe needs to hear something I said stumbles upon my words. I wish you peace. ❤ *Adam Nicholas Kearns (1984-2018) Father, Husband, Son, Brother, Grandson, Cousin, Colleague, Mentor, Neighbor and Friend.* Love you, Buddy. It should have been me, not you... NOT YOU. I will miss you for the rest of my days here on Earth. It should've been me, Buddy. I'm so sorry... I'd switch places in a nanosecond. People say that, but I mean it literally. I'd go this instant if you got to come back. Zero hesitation. It was never supposed to be you. You were so much more than I could ever hope to be. You were a better human by a million light years. I just miss you.

[@guldogan464]

Are you okay now 😢

[@annaelena4859]

I relate to both of you guys so much. It’s been three months since I lost my big brother to cancer. He was only 26, and he was my favorite person on the planet. He was one of the strongest people Ive ever known, overcoming mental illness and addiction. I struggle as well but he was always there to pick me up from the hospital or visit me in rehab. He was more than my brother. He was my protector, best friend, and role model all in one. It only took four months to completely destroy all our lives. He leaves behind three kids under 4 years old, and it’s not fucking fair. My nieces and nephew deserve the amazing person that created them and loved them more than anything. I want to be here to tell them everything that he was but it hurts so bad rn

[@user-pi5td4gq5n]

Lost my brother Michael when I was 19 and he 21 in 1978. Lost my youngest brother, Matt at 23 and I was 35 in 1995, lost my last sibling and brother Mark who was like a best friend and son in 2000. Now I am the only survivor of my family of origin since losing my father in 2015. Lost my only son, Michael at 29 one month after my father in 2015. It’s very difficult to put all of this in perspective. You are the first person I have ever known to address sibling loss. It has been over 40 years since I lost my older brother Michael. I was telling someone about how he died and my parents reaction…and just started crying like it had just happened again. I have been resilient but after losing my son and father so close together and at the same time leaving my job and several other stressful events at the same time with the history of sibling loss, it seems I was free falling for years and it has taken me so long to come back. I still struggle with the aftermath of it all. Thank you so much for what you do. I am learning so much from your videos and it all rings true what you are saying has very much been my experience. 🙏 Namaste

[@acking1502]

My goddness 💔💔💔 My heart is breaking for you. God bless you man. I hope you get to see them again someday.

[@lauralei7678]

We buried my only brother 4 days ago. there are 3 of us girls and he was probably closer to me as he was exactly 1 year older than me. we grew up in an environment that was not kind to either of us. we both turned to drinking and drugs. I have 4 years clean and he tried and tried to to do the same. His demons wouldnt leave him alone and he fought so hard. my best friend, my protector, my everything. this world is a cruel nasty place. my pain for him is unbearable, I just want him home, he meant more to me than i could ever express. Thank you for your thoughtful video

[@trishflynn5028]

My sister Jan died on Monday 2 days ago. Parents always teach you to look after your little sister, when they die there is a sense of guilt that you didn't stop them dying. It's ridiculous but it's a deep seated feeling.

[@tavareznat]

My older brother passed away on Easter; April 9th 2023. He was 32 years old, he was a control technician at a chocolate factory. I was 24 at the time of his death, now I’m 25. He was my only sibling. Seeing my mom cry for him is so painful because there’s nothing I can to fix it. Last time I spoke with him we got into a huge fight and I feel guilty for saying mean things. I hope he forgives me. I love you Marcos (Marc) 😢

[@ExcaliburTTP]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister a month ago to Lake Michigan. It’s a pain i never thought I’d have to feel. I wish i had more time with her and did all i could. Please be well out there.

[@klairef983]

I lost my eldest sister 2 weeks ago, she was 70, we are all over 50 & our parents are long gone...It is so hard to cope with this big loss, as we all knew her from our birth, we grew up together & shared many good memories together ...She was our rock of stability our family matriarch...We are all in shock & grief from this...Thank you for this sibling video.

[@alvinmichael4970]

I lost my elder 72 yr old sister 1 month ago. I am 56 n single.After my mum pass away 15 yr ago, she is like a mum to me. Can u imagine losing your mum twice. Life is really so tough, u have to cope all over again. It is painful to be alive now and I hope I can be gone soon too.

[@PatchworkDragon]

My brother died a year and a half ago, age 41. He struggled with both depression and addiction for half of his life. After our mom died six years ago due to heart failure, he blamed himself for causing her stress, and he dealt with that by leaning on his addictions. I knew something bad was going to happen, but I ran out of ways to help. I gave up on trying. The bad thing did happen, and now I'm left with a big tangled mess of grief and guilt.

[@dr.raek.watkins9171]

Lost my sister Dionne 49 to Covid the day after Thanksgiving. My pain and grief is unrelenting. She was my big sister of 6yrs. I see her reflection as I look at my self in the mirror. Finding it hard to look at my mom or talk to her children. It's just an awful place. She had so much faith in God to heal...we all held this faith. She told me to just stay prayerful when we spoke last. I was the last to talk to her. My last words: I love you Dionne.

[@missrosietee]

I lost my brother 10 months ago and this was the first New Year without him. I am rather unsupported from family (i.e. lowest on the pecking order). The best thing I have done with my therapist is the compassionate other exercise... Created my own imaginary perfectly compassionate person and used that imaginary person to comfort myself.

[@lavenderandgold8588]

i lost my sister unexpectedly at the end of 2023. she was only 38. she had been sick for a week before being admitted into the hospital and 3 days before she got sent to the er, she had texted me out of nowhere to check up on me. it was like she just knew she didn't have much time left. it doesn't take the pain away after losing her, but i treasure that text from her now. it was one last time she was able to show she cared for me.

[@saratorres1191]

My brother just past away 3 days ago. His name is Miguel Angel Medina. He was living in the street for a while. He didn’t have a good relationship with our father, wasn’t allowed to in his property and he died outside the gate on the sidewalk right in front of his house. I was supposed go by my my dad that day, but I didn’t. And I feel like if I would’ve gone I probably would have found him alive or could’ve helped him. This pain is the worst I’ve ever felt. I will never be the same after this. 💔

[@kelseyjowest9974]

We went through 2.5 (or so) years of court proceedings after my brother was killed. He was trying to be a Good Samaritan, and was ran over 3 times in the process; thus losing his beautiful life….. we were raised to be good people and to help others. I idolized my brothers (both of them). I try to do my best to make my brother proud and maintain a close relationship with my family, but it cannot be denied that family dynamics change after a traumatic and tragic loss…. My family means everything to me and it’s hard not to be terrified of what’s going to happen next. Not being afraid to answer the phone when certain people call…… My brother, Rob was a good man. A wonderful brother and friend. And I miss him every single moment…

[@erinaReddy]

I lost my beloved sister age 53 due to Covid complication in May 2021 . We were very very close from childhood. We used to Talk everyday . She was very spiritual . She was younger to me . Was our family support . I was Totally devasted . Was missing her very dearly , was crying all the time . She has 2 boys , I could not see my sister broken family . I was in too much pain. And then I lost my elder brother age 57 in Jan 2022 due to post Covid complication. I was very close to my brother too . I used to talk with my brother lot but since I was grieving I was not talking to him how I used to talk before . I didnot realize that my brother is also grieving . I feel very guilty for not understanding him. I could have. Help him somehow and he would be alive. I miss both of them so much. Not a single day pass without thinking of them and crying. They both were so dear to me. I feel so hopeless. Feel very lonely. Keep praying for their soul and ask god to give me strength.

[@sibela9553]

I lost my sister, Nazlican, in the earthquake happened in Turkey. She was my everything also everyone's. Everybody loved her, she lived like an angel. Now she is just gone and I don't know what to do with all this pain. Everyone is having so much pain and they expected me to be strong for my parents but I don't even have any motivation to live. I always imagined what will I do if something happened to my dad or mom but I never ever thought this about my sister. She was only 26 she had so much to offer, super successful, kindest person and I still can't understand why this terrible thing happened to her. She was married for only 5.5 month and she just came to her home 2 weeks ago. She died with her husband hugging. He was also so kind and just like a brother to me. I don't know how to move on. I never ever had any plans without her. Everything you said in the video was true. I had to go to abroad for my education and my parents are begging me to not to go because they are afraid something will happen to me too. They say you are the only one left for us. I feel an amazing guilt for wanting to go and live my grief in the most proper way I can. Because when I'm with my parents I can't even cry because I don't wanna make them sad. I don't know what to do. If you are seeing this and a believer in any religion please pray for my beautiful sister. It will be a gift for her from someone she doesn't know and it will make her happy. Thank you.

[@GardenerPhyl]

I’m grateful for your message on sibling grief. My brothers name was Bill. He died four years ago of cancer at the age of 57. He is missed, but remembered fondly. 🦋

[@rachaelgignac8266]

You articulated a great deal of how I am feeling. You mentioned a double loss, and that is exactly how I am feeling. I lost my brother, but also my best friend 4 months ago. Nobody could make me laugh the way he did. I am feeling so lonely, despite the friends and family I have around me. My brother´s name was Dan. He was 42 years old, and died from complications of alcohol abuse.

[@francesbernard2445]

Thanks for publishing above video. My late siblings first name is Sharon.

[@SharonDee333]

My sister died 30 years ago this year. I was 17, she was 20 and in the USMC. Still feels like yesterday. Lost my brother to suicide in 2016. Never grieved as a family for either loss. I was in a bad place mentally for a long time but managed to somehow pull my head outta my ass. No joke, it’s truly one day at a time. Forgiving myself has always been impossible.

[@Jcaire1314]

Rian N Caire, 02-28-2022. I miss that young man every damn day! I thank you for this video, it’s some validation to us siblings who have a hard time and don’t know how to tell our parents we are forgotten, and who have a hard time like myself asking for help and validation! Thank you! ❤️🙏🏻

[@greengreenmom]

Just lost my brother suddenly. Autopsy needs to be performed. He is only 47. The pain is so unbearable.

[@7389]

💔 Sending a hug. I'm sorry.

[@MaryannPyburn]

I lost my sis n my best friend 2-3-2024 😢😢😢 I can't take the pain in my heart any longer 💔 😪 it's just not fair

[@ExcaliburTTP]

Thank you for sharing. My sister lost her life at the age of 20 in Lake Michigan. It’s been so hard on all of us. I appreciate this video so much.

[@Raymond2d2]

I lost my brother Tony a week ago. He passed away from COVID-19. He had trouble breathing he thought he was going home the same day and he did not want to go on a ventilator but sure enough the nurse had him on it. His breathing got better but then his kidneys were failing. Then my sister in-law got the call that his heart stopped and they weren’t unable to revive him and he passed away. My family and I are devastated he was like a leader to the family and life of the party and he leaves behind his wife, 2 sons & 4 yo daughter. We are shocked thought he would be in our lives forever. We are doing our best to grieve and yes there are so many times we wish we can go back in time like we could of done something and he wouldn’t of died but you can’t bring him back. My sister told me, we have to look at the happy times. How he was with our family instead of looking at the negative. I know that’s what my brother would of wanted. Seeing family together. 🙏

[@paulinemanifold436]

So sorry for your families devastating loss. I lost my youngest & only sister in Jan 2021. I still cry most days.

[@robd2650]

Thanks for the encouragement. Nice well rounded sharing. I lost my sister Carol;,1 week ago. I feel it's compounded because she was the eldest & the leader of our pack of 4 kids & it was a sudden illness & she was gone in 3 months. I especially liked your closing remarks to reconcile your grief while finding your own new identity. Blessings to you in the name of the Lord!

[@etnickay2137]

Lost both my older siblings most recently my older brother last September so suddenly. Repairing our relationship was a big thing that was happening and find myself hating all the petite fights we had. My acceptance that ill never be 100% ever again has helped. Embracing the reality of this has opened up a defined insurance that that my brother troy and my sister Kayla... May not be here anymore, but i can sure as hell make them proud by living my life in their absence. ❤

[@shealiegracethomas313]

Lost my sister She was 27 I miss her so much She was like a mother to me It is very hard to my parents We lost her In 2019 going to 2020 It is very hard for my mother because my mother was very close cause that was her very 1st daughter and it will always be hard...💔 We still celebrate her birthday Every year We have pictures of her everywhere We talk about her and that's how we live She is not gone she is still here she is visiting us In spirit She is still around... We love her so much 💗 ❤️ 💓 It's very hard for the whole entire family

[@shealiegracethomas313]

Her name was Gabby

[@blanebostock]

thank you for highliting the many aspects of this loss. so different from any other form of bereavement... my younger brother just passed unexpectedly, so a lot of what you point out I haven't yet had time to learn. It was only a few weeks ago. Yes, I am also noticing a drastic change in my perception of time, both expanding and contracting. Your point about siblings having a shared unresolved future struck me. I am the oldest of six, so my own mortality and a sense of needing to stick around are clashing inside of me. I also had a near-death experience at 21, which most definitely gives my grief an undeniable twist. Your message touched my heart, thank you.

[@piracychic]

Everything you said was everything I needed to hear. I can't thank you enough for your compassionate exploration of what you rightly call an overlooked grief.

[@mox7613]

My younger brother passed when he was 9 and I was 12. I'm 22 now and I still feel like life is on pause and hasn't truly been real since he's been gone

[@shanec1200]

I am commenting from my late sisters account. 13 days to this date we gave my younger sister, Shannon, a twin to our surviving addict sister her final send-off and held her funeral. She died the day after their shared birthday April 23, on the 24th, this very year 2023. Though younger, she remained the most proactive and prominent in her duties as a daughter, a loyal friend, a self-achieved student but a selfless sister all around. Though older I looked up to her because of how much effort, consistency, thought, joy and humility she generously put forth in … well, everything. Made the rest of us look lazy tbh. She went above and beyond when given and objective, delegated a task or presented with a challenge. I’ll give you one of many instances, I gave birth to my first child at 29 just last year, he was born one day before the twins birthday, so when the other twin didn’t come around afflicted with the depths of substance abuse, she and I knew, unspoken but spiritually and emotionally agreed to be there for one another in the absence of our trinity, she was in the delivery room with me when I gave birth and drove me to almost every ultrasound and prenatal appointment. She read ahead of baby books before I even did, she’d never had children of her own, but loved them. My son held a special place in her eyes, that often times many thought he was hers and it mine, and to me, it was perfectly fine. Better than one could hope for, my support net need not be big, but even on her own and a select few, she made up the whole in strength and determination. It was the obvious choice to make her God Mother, the grieving her life cut so short but also (as mentioned)the loss of what life should’ve been; her taking all the inside jokes, memories too long to retell or relate with anyone else and the secrets with her, literally to her grave. is as interminable as the humility, heartfelt compassion and excitement she showered me and our father with that became tenfold for my son. There is nothing like watching someone love your child as much as you but when you see it supersedes all doubts or distress of knowing your child will never go without happiness even when you falter or fumble as a parent, her confidence in me when I lacked my own was unmatched, and selfishly I wish so badly I could bring her back, knowing she not only struggled with serious health conditions, a broken heart for her missing counterpart and from the end going back to the start, missing part of her ego, her modesty became her though, she defeated the odds and struggled with her own mental hindrances and educational difficulties, and exceeded all expectations of her congenital defects from our own mothers substance abuse, and just the same was just awarded the prestigious award of $400,000 In scholarships and the highest honor of the largest graduating class to the open access programs to any occupational profession of her desire, and she busted her ass off through sicknesses, invasive surgeries and long periods of healing from sudden gruesome physical trials and experimental treatments that have afflicted my sister her entire life, and that never stopped her from helping anyone and everyone. Jesus, this video gave me some greater clarity into finding the words for what these new feelings are. It’s not like I’ve never had stages of grief, I allow myself to emote… go through them to grow through them. But it’s as I always said from somewhere read , sisters(brothers too, but the intimacy and emotional vulnerability and nurturing that woman as a whole undertake as is our makeup) are the ties to the best years of our life. And when someone asks me what I’ll miss most, I say “the hardest loss is these woman are the most likely to stick beside me through our youth and now o have to miss the expectations of a future growing old together” and you phrased it so affectionately and delicately but with deliberate regard. Thankyou, I appreciate this candor. Making sense of it, the eery suddenness of her departure, I had to step into her shoes to care for our single parent father just shy of 70yo, and I am a new mother, Mother’s Day followed and than my birthday was June 13th, she was 29yo, I had just held her in an embrace and we’re discussing the night before about how we’d go about her “dirty 30”, and it was joked earlier on that day how I wanted to host my own “death of my youth” funeral themed birthday party the year before but between losing friends and having family drop me because I was pregnant, she started a project on my first Mother’s Day and gifted me on my birthday our childhood videos converted into a flash drive, that we watched over and over again… a specific clip I used at the end of her memorial slideshow at her funeral… because that’s just the type of woman she was, and every video I watch with her in it, if you click here on her account and personal videos, from her tiktoks to her audio diary entries, to her journals she kept by the buttloads all has a strange tone that almost seemed predestined and not only I see it, but as do those few I’ve shown, noted or pointed out the synchronicities to. My father was so overwhelmed with grief, and than the first time I see her twin was in 3 years l, she came back the night she died, it’s been the longest 3 months to get here, I became her keeper and her twin spent years searching streets and underpasses and door dens for her and I still feel like if she couldn’t do it, if seeing our sister in the morgues table couldn’t wake her out of this fog, if her own twin couldn’t help her, how can I? Yet, now I dread what’s to come, the aftermath, I can allow myself the proper periods to have echos of sadness I was too busy making end-of life preparations and tiring up lose or incomplete living affairs, the sympathy, condolences and the reach all but wilts and life does go on, i simply detest and even resist the time is took to give my all, want this year to be over with and painfully yet am expecting the emotional out-fall that a year untouched by her will bring. Even now, silences can go on forever, my feet so anchored in place afraid to lose a trace of whatever I’ve retained through the fog of pain and the stress of planning her funeral alone(while also being mostly a single new mom, stepping into caretaker of our elderly father who is more analog than digital and couldn’t put his thoughts together let alone arrange an entire service, becoming the Keeper of encouragement of her twin my other drug addicted sister, that even these circumstances don’t motivate her to change, making the gofundme to finance what fixed income savings our disabled father had to afford a proper service, retelling the same tragic news 100+ times and than coordinating between different parties on all different fronts from all the family, the friends, new and old, and coworkers and they literally shut down the entire facilities across the state to make accommodations and offer counseling to all those affected. And little did I know how very many. It’s both beautiful and devastating. And she touched more lives than my own, and as one of her friends read in her eulogy 3-weeks ago “it’s easy for people to be good for some self-serving gain, for money, for validation, for whatever vapid reason the human condition can justify, and how many of us have no sooner taken our love back when it wasn’t rewarded with our expectations of the other but Shannon was good and loved deeply for the sake of others feeling good and being their best because she always believed they could.” “Making us all want to just be good even when there’s no promise of good in return.” And this is what I have to add, context. If I could surmise any advice here and now ; hold your brother or sister a closer having read my comment and know that there is no time like now, that’s why it’s called the present, it is an invaluable gift that perhaps like everything else you can get back; possessions, pursuits, passion, purpose, people, pleasures and praise… you cannot get back time. Use it and savor it because cliche and macabre as that very day, you cannot get it back or make more ~The Oldest Sister, Chelsea

[@bri_in_the_garden]

My twin sister’s name is Shannon! She passed away almost five years ago at the age of 31. Your Shannon sounds like an amazing person!🥰 I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a devastating loss and way too soon.

[@Shivashy14]

Thank you for this. My little brother passed 6 months ago from a rare heart defect we didn’t know he had at the age of 31. He was my best friend.

[@annebeyrer728]

I’ve lost my sisters, twins, Jackie 2016, Judy 2024. We are three surviving sibs but I’m the oldest, took care of them all their lives, disabled and mental illness, my grief is very odd because I was their “parent” . My remaining sibs live in other states, we are close but I have lost my “job” caring for them, and still I am the primary caregiver for their parents ( 90,91) who long ago abdicated full responsibility for the twins. I lost much of my adult life caring for them. I’m angry, sad, lonely, and exhausted. I am creating rituals for myself, have a therapist, and try to stay healthy. Still, the grief for me is a mixed up state. May all who lost siblings in their care be given a special consideration in their grief and loss.

[@KaylaEchols221]

Brittany Leiot 🕊️ Forever 23 years young She was born with biliary atresia and at the time of her passing was one of the oldest survivors. The doctors did so much research on her that she said, "I'm tired of being a guinea pig." I know in my heart that current BA survivors benefit from her medical struggles. It's almost been 20 years and I've finally learned how to cry. It took 18 years to acknowledge that as her baby sister, I have survivor's guilt. I pray that I learn to live so that I can honor her.

[@projectraya]

Мите, здрасти. Имам толкова много неща, които искам да ти кажа. Пораснах, вече съм много по-уверена в себе си и съм си собствен човек, който харесвам много. Захванах се да правя толкова много неща след като си отиде; да спортувам и да ям правилните неща за да отслабна и да си харесвам нещата, в мен които преди мразех - краката ми, да изкарам много добър резултат на матурите и след това в училище с оценките и като цяло да стигна до момента в който ще съм доволна. Но това не стана. Наскоро бях в обстоятелствата където осъзнах че съм направила всичко, което съм искала, но тогава се чувствах най-зле от всички други пъти в които не съм била постигнала нещо. Защото как беше възможно да съм постигнала всичко което искам и пак да не се чувствам както когато ти беше тук. Това променяше всичко. Защо ми е да правя каквото и да е ако няма с какво да запълня празнината от това, че те няма? Сякаш всичко това беше просто начин да се разсейвам и да не мисля и осъзнавам, че никога повече няма да те гушна, след като се прибера от някъде, казвайки ти че си ми липсвал. И никога повече няма да седим заедно пред компютъра докато ти играеш страшна игра, а аз те гледам и се чувствам много готина, понеже седя до късно заедно с теб, и ти ме караш да ти нося бира без пяна от време на време и аз, въпреки че е досадно, да го правя с огромно желание сякаш правя мое любимо нещо. Не знам сега какво да правя. Дните отново започват да се чувстват като рутина, нямам нещо към което да се стремя наистина, има малки неща, но не е същото. Знам, че си поставям много високи очаквания за това какво ще правя и как постоянно трябва да правя неща за да поддържам баланса, и с тялото ми и със социалния живот и с ученето но някак си не искам. С нищо не ми помагат тези неща, не ми пречат също, но просто ми е безсмислено сега. Вкъщи вече не е уютно като преди. В моята стая е същото обаче. Много я обичам нея. Вече даже повече от твоята. И това е защото те няма там, и вече няма кое да изтъква най-хубавите неща от нея и да я прави толкова уютна и приятна каквато беше. Нещата се променят, това е ясно, но защо не можеше завдно да се променяме. Да ме гледаш как израствам и да ме сръчкваш и тормозиш за някои от глупавите проблеми, които имам в тази възраст, да си причината да не ми пука какво ще направя навън, защото знам че винаги като се прибера, ти ще си там. Много ти благодаря, че те имаше. Ти беше моят идол и завинаги ше си останеш. Това е моята мечта - да се чувствам по онзи уютен начин, както когато беше още тук. Най-хубавото време. Наистина ми липсваш. И ще ми липсваш завинаги. Моля те прати ми някакъв знак, какво да правя сега, след като съм разбрала че няма кое да запълни празнината? За какво да живея? Обичам те, Беборая

[@lindaschwartz504]

Yes, i just buried my older brother today in NY. I was virtual, while his girlfriend came on ZOOM to show me the whole funeral taking place. We were not very close due to many kinds of awful behaviors and abuse that went on between us since our childhood. So I kept away from him, then his girlfriend called me an hour before he passed away. We both immediately took care of all the details to have him buried properly. It has been very painful for me all of these years. I am mourning along with his girlfriend and hopefully we will remain friends.

[@devina1100]

I lost my little sister Paula a few weeks ago. Thank you for making this video it's been helpful ❤

[@annaelena4859]

It’s been three months since I lost my big brother to cancer. He was only 26, and he was my favorite person on the planet. He was one of the strongest people Ive ever known, overcoming mental illness and addiction. It only took four months to completely destroy all our lives. He leaves behind three kids under 4 years old, and it’s not fucking fair. My nieces and nephew deserve the amazing person that created them and loved them more than anything. I want to be here to tell them everything that he was but it hurts so bad rn

[@barryberkmanblock]

I lost my brother in childhood, though he was 12 years older than me and a (very) young adult when he died. I'm close to 40 now, and this video still brought me to tears at multiple points. This is the most well-rounded video about sibling grief I've ever watched, thank you for acknowledging so many ways this grief impacts us throughout our lives.

[@justaman1537]

Lost my sister almost 10 years ago in a car crash, she was like a mother to me, too, since my mother couldn't take really care of me ( she was emotionally drained cause of my father). So yeah, I've never been the same ever since and it feels like it's been a month ago, not years...

[@missdonzcox5304]

This helped clarify alot , thoughts feelings and stages Ive been through n yet to, helped me feel ok with my level of grieving n felt understood n validated in my process of grief , it's ok to grieve, it's ok to talk n express your feelings n thoughts n consideration n respect that each sibling grieves in their own ways 🏝️💜♾️🐒🌻💫😘♥️🥰😇 xoxo Love you Sissy Kim hunt xoxo