Simple Tips To Overcome Your Fear Of Death I The Speakmans

Are you struggling with a phobia of death and dying (thanatophobia)? We're sharing some of our simple tips to help you to overcome this fear.
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[@sharonlewis1286]

The thing that frightens most people about death is the ones left behind to deal with the loss , its so painful living without a loved one

[@hughtempleton8640]

For both my wife, myself, and our son . Our disabled daughter natasha passed away 4 years ago , she was our life . She had an amazing personality , and she laughed every day . Our lives were beautiful and amazing with her here . I have been watching NDE . Story's on U tube , they help a lot . Plus, I see life differently now . I know in my heart that she's in heaven now with our family that have already passed over .❤

[@LouiseFalt]

My mom passed away 8 years ago, 3 weeks later my grandmother passed away. Since then I've been living with panic attacks, anxiety , PTSD symptoms and it made me ask things about my existence and also a fear of death. And like what will happen to me when I die? Things like that

[@thomascox257]

This is pretty good advice. Also, certain books can help one put death in perspective. Life After Death by Deepak Chopra really helped me deal with this issue.

[@Snarelli]

Was you scared at one time then how did u overcome this

[@lauramcgoldrick4753]

Brilliant x

[@LaLunaDellaNotte]

Thank you for this My exposures to death have mostly been unexpected/accidents (one I was witness to as an adult a few years ago), there was ice cream spilled onto the road (her vehicle had flipped several times & her roof down) & I remember that gutted feeling & thoughts of... "She was just on her way home with some ice cream & now she's just...gone".... My first exposure to death was a childhood friend who's young father died in his sleep (never knew what the cause was) & it makes it hard for me to hold the belief that life isn't fragile, because it certainly looks/feels like it is. One moment you're here, the next you might not. Having said that, you both have some really valid points here. Perhaps to see that while they were accidents, there were still causes of the death, not that death just happened. Trying to steer my heart closer to gratitude than fear. Going to ponder this some more. Thanks again! XOXO

[@nikandevaspeakman]

Pleasure, do watch the film over and we hope it helps to alleviate some of you fears.

[@catherinenolan2177]

I really like this couple I hope they are really sincere

[@lottie7898]

What a fascinating subject, Nick and Eva. I am a regular follower of your KZbin channel. Phobia is defined as (an irrational fear) in this case of death. The two main inevitable events in any life are that of birth and death. I am in my mid-seventies, born a twin, I can honestly state I do not recall being in my mother’s womb with my brother. My mother always told us she had two natural births, again I do not recall mine. This would have been my earliest moment on Earth. So I am in agreement with your daughter concerning death. I think we are all preconditioned throughout our lives for the inevitable; it’s the uncertainty of that demise we cannot handle. Most pet lovers undergo the trauma of having to have a beloved pet euthanized; this happened to us in July after our Labrador had a seizure, and the vet said there wasn’t any alternative. It was the suddenness of this incident that still remains with us. We have a lifetime of memories of loved ones and beloved pets, they sustain us. We hope to be in a position in the near future to be able to help rehome a pet.

[@nikandevaspeakman]

Thank you for following our channel, and for sharing your thought. So very sorry to her about your Labrador. We are huge animal lovers and have 6 cats therefore we have had to make those heartbreaking decisions too. However it is a price we pay for the unconditional love of our pets. It’s also very lovely to hear you will be rehousing a pet.

[@lottie7898]

@@nikandevaspeakman Thank you both for your very kind reply. The reason I mentioned my birth; (which was not exactly on topic); because I once had a colleague, who was adamant he recalled his own birth. Who am I to dispute this earliest memory. I agree, we all know what we are getting into when we take on pets, but it is still an emotional shock, to end a life.

[@kylieking8163]

@@nikandevaspeakman please I need a little help. I lost my aunt in September and she just died suddenly. I don't know her health history but it came as a shock to us because she was not ill at all. After that I started to have panic attacks , scared I'm going to die. I am struggling with my belief in God and I started to think omg God is going to kill me like he did my aunt because I doubt him and Because of my doubts I have been struggling financially and I thought it's because of my doubt in God and he has refused to provide me a better job like my siblings. I got a great job and I was scared God is going to kill me now because obviously he doesn't want me to have a good life because I don't believe in him. I was in training for my new job and I was fine for the first month. During my second month, I started to have panic attacks about death and thinking omg I'm not going to make it to the end and start this amazing job with a great life which would transform my financial life. I studied hard for my exams. I thought I was going to fail but I made cut off which I am so grateful for. I still have physical symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks. Everyday I fear is my last. I am scared I'm dying of an underlining illness.

[@margaret1826]

Hello I came close to dying a couple of times since June of 2018 and it was when I was listening to this video, that I pinpointed when my fear of death started. It was just before I was admitted to A and E the first time. I knew for about 5 weeks beforehand that my health was deteriorating and I was very pale all the time and often dizzy. I'm going to practice gratitude daily. Thanks for the video

[@shannon150]

Always amazing videos

[@jorowley6635]

Covid has triggered my death anxiety.And working on it in CBT. Looking back to timeline, Nursed my dad who had cancer and was with him when he died I was 17.I was alone with him as mum found it too traumatic.Saw my grandad at the funeral home when I was 14. And then cared for the elderly so witnessed and sat holding there hands with patients whilst dying. Cancer scare in the pandemic. But the pandemic has really triggered my death anxiety. Will take your wise words and work with them

[@LEYLANDGAMER]

My fear of dying stemmed from watching a video called 8 minutes in hell on KZbin. It made me very paranoid and started watching hell testimonies and screams of hell. Last year, it started triggering off again along with thoughts such as what is the point of life, dark thoughts from watching movies, conspiracy theories on KZbin. My specialist mentor gave me the tip of being grateful for my life, finding distractions, counting three blessings each day, staying away from watching things that trigger my anxiety off and watch comedic and uplifting things instead. He also said that we can’t control death, nothing we can do about it so why should we fear it? My auntie also told me that you didn’t know what happened before you were born, so why should you worry about what happens after you die

[@Ladyybird21]

Great advice from mentor and aunt

[@user-cb4dx9vo5i]

This is the part that gets to me, realising that you just wouldn't exist anymore. Like you'd just be gone.. I choose to believe in life with God after death

[@donnabosworth1412]

I have a fear of not being here..i can't imagine not being here..what my girls will go through. I fear a test telling me i have cancer some day

[@user-cb4dx9vo5i]

Please change that thought and make it positive 🙏.

[@nataliepritchard2416]

Could you maybe do one on car accidents. I’ve never been in one but I’ve had a fear of one happening for a long time, it’s enough sometimes to make me no go out on days out. It would just be nice to have some advice, considering it’s based on something that happens daily in the world, you might be able to help ease the fear. I don’t know.

[@katherinecollins4685]

This was super interesting

[@nikandevaspeakman]

Thank you so much x

[@StressedSugarcane]

I have legally/ clinically died 3 times before due to something I had as a baby I survived thanks to the doctors but I am scared of dying because it’s the idea of not knowing what’s going to happen, the world continuing without me and the fact that we’re all here then suddenly we just fall asleep in darkness forever! Death is my biggest phobia out of all my fears and whenever I think about dying I cry and can spiral into a hole of anxiety and i normally think about phobias at nighttime and can’t sleep

[@petersvox9762]

That's me

[@user-cb4dx9vo5i]

Exactly what I do but I've also come to realise that anxiety is a stealer of you and its the enemies way of deceiving us. The Bible makes me understand that death is peaceful and painless. It comes with an overwhelming amount of calmness that's surpasses human understanding. I keep my gaze on God and His promise of an after life.

[@suzanneashmore8142]

As you spoke about in the video my mum died when I was 15, we didn't know she had been ill with cancer for a while and then she died out of the blue to us as children, I then also developed breast cancer and was treated and everything has been ok since, but I have huge fear of dying and leaving my daughter, I'm scared of the feelings of sadness she will have as I have struggled with growing up. I get very anxious driving on the motorway or doing anything which I may have an fatal accident. How can I overcome these fears please ?

[@StarrySkyzzYT]

I got Thanatophobia when I was 7… I can remember all of the sleepless nights trying to not cry. My parents didn’t know for years… i still have memory’s of all The pain I went through as a kid.. I didn’t have a lot of friends at the time.. i hated most social interactions and most days of school I starved myself to get to a empty table so I didn’t have to go trough the pain of just walking up down and back like 12 times looking for a place to sit when I decided to get lunch.. in my line order as a kid I was in the back of the line so when I wanted to sit near someone the table would be full if I didn’t starve myself.. the only people that I trust is my family.. every time I go out with them as a kid I feel like they are gonna get in a car crash or somthing bad will happen to them.. my sister hates when I get something she doesn’t.. I beg my mom or dad to get somthing just to spare me and my mom and dad from my sister.. I can’t tell anybody in my family things except my sister.. my grandma hates my mom because her parents are dead.. my dad acts like nothings wrong and my moms just being dramatic.. she starved my mom alot and when we ask my dad “why does grandma starve mom?” He will respond like “can we not talk about this?” Or “she didn’t she would never” my moms clearly tired of it she’s scared me as a kid when she’s really tired of my grandma and dad she would sometimes say she’s leaving me and this family.. all my family loves me… sometimes.. I need help

[@charliex8172]

how are you now?

[@sandiepell3583]

My fear of death is I have COPD and I’m terrified and fear suffocating to death

[@user-cb4dx9vo5i]

I bet you find yourself subconsciously holding your breath..

[@benjaminbrown5245]

Interesting subject and yes. Something that I always wondered why people are afraid of dying. Of course we want to live but the night or day that we die for example if you die a natural death and you go do you think maybe people are fearful of actually feeling theselves stop breathing and the heart beat stopping? I wonder if a lot of people are fearful of actually feeling the transition. For me,,,, I don’t think that you would bee during the last minutes of life I don’t think that we will even know what is happening because we will bee in such a deep acomma I think. So how can one bee fearful of dying, when the body is going to relax anyways. I have often looked at the subject matter and what occurred during the last moments of life. In my research I have never heard anyone say that they actually felt themselves stopping breathing or they felt their heart slowing down to a stop. I really don’t know if anyone is going to even notice any of that because they maybe in such a deep sleep already. And the other thing I have heard from people is they don’t want to bee awake when they die well that is interesting as well, because I highly doubt that you will bee totally awake when you start your fate. I would think that you would have to bee in a sleepy kind of state anyways so how is it that people could say they hope to not bee awake. I mean this is really interesting. I hope you both talk more about this. Because it really is very interesting and a subject that most of us don’t like to talk about but it is part of life. Your birth you didn’t even remember when yo came out of your mother but your dying day their are couple of questions that I have for that. 1. Do you actually feel your heart stop, or do you not even notice that. 2. Do you actually feel yourself stop breathing or will you bee asleep before any of that takes place. I am eager to know.

[@nikandevaspeakman]

Most people we’ve spoken to are fearful of the unknown or the fear that they could go at anytime with out warning or leaving loved ones (especially children (if they re still dependent). As you say it’s not a topic we talk about that much, but those who are phobic are usually consumed daily by the fear as a consequence of a life experience that created a heightened awareness x

[@nikkitizzard7389]

I find your work amazing but this wasn't really of any help to me.. my fear started when I had my first child at 20yrs old, it was only for a short spell then returned after having my second child, it stopped me from travelling and going forward with my career.. it's the thought of getting older, life going quickly, not doing/done what I want to do in life.. my anxiety is so bad.. I will wake in the night with thoughts of 'I'm going to die', I think I'm not going to be here for my children it gives me a massive knot in my tummy.. I used to cry most days, the feeling is just awful... I hate it and try to think of other things, I'm flat out busy all the time, I do meditation, I've been to doctors but don't want anti-depressants.. I just can't shake it off...it has started to rub off on my daughter :( so many things can trigger it like an old song or memory as it then reminds me how quick life has gone by and what I think I have left, I've suffered badly for about 7 yrs now. I got diagnosed with Cancer last year and am coming to the end of my treatment soon, so this has not helped plus people around me dying or have died with cancer. I really need help but councillors don't help.. just don't know what to do. Unless you have this anxiety you really don't understand, it's not something you can just kick yourself up the bum and get on with. Sorry but these tips were of no help to my fear. Hopefully I can come along to one of your shows and see you in person.

[@nikandevaspeakman]

Gosh that made us quite sad that you didn’t think our film was of any use. As I’m sure you can understand, these tips are generic and can’t be specific as we don’t know everyone’s individual circumstances. Let’s hope they’re helpful for someone & that if you make one of our workshops our more detailed suggestions and approaches help x

[@Snarelli]

It didn't help me either im so scared I cry almost every morning sit shaking cos I can't stop thinking almost makes me wish I was never ere in the first place

[@Snarelli]

And same as you I csnt shake ot off I wish you all the best and may be one day we will get rid of this dark thought ❤

[@faithavants7370]

How do you get over the fear of sudden death with no cause? I’m 22 years old and I’m so scared. The thoughts of being on a autopsy table is so horrifying to me. The thought of never knowing when it’s your time is what scares me. What if the universe like knows your cut off date and you just don’t know. Any advice I can’t sleep or anything or live a good life.

[@user-cb4dx9vo5i]

I totally understand. Life is a constant battle of the mind. As A Christian, what I do is, I meditate and find soluce in the promises of God as stated in the Bible. Try it

[@EvolvedParasite]

My death anxiety comes from knowing that science can cure death, that us humans can do something about it but choose to do nothing. I freak out thinking I should live forever but I am stuck here with a bunch of idiots.

[@sandranath4399]

My anxiety is always fair of death and my father sudden death trigger it of again

[@Snarelli]

Please help me

[@Snarelli]

Not going to lie its my biggest fear I swet I shake my heart drops i struggle breathing I break down I have other mental health problems but think they all stem from this its everyday please help

[@charliesims7770]

I always had this fear, but I try to stop thinking about it, but it seems to keep coming back. Its actually scary just the thought of it alone. Any tips please? Thank you so much.

[@Snarelli]

Thats wat I do everyday I sit and cry almost every morning it dont help my other mental health probs I've evan been classed as unfit to go to work now

[@nicolaclaydon9028]

How do you find your origin?

[@nikandevaspeakman]

Take a look at our timeline technique on here 🥰 If you search “The Speakmans timeline” in KZbin you should find it. Really hope it helps ❤️

[@noahprine5567]

I used to believe in God and felt safe thinking I would die and go to heaven, I don’t believe in a religion anymore, what would you recommend?

[@fanforever2009]

Why did you stop believing in God?

[@futurethewolf5624]

I don't want to see my grandparents die. 😱😭😨😔🙏

[@bankimchandrabarman7119]

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢