Simps Ruining RPGs - DnD Horror Stories

[@lamiahunter]

“ I yearn for true gender equality. I have no patience for one who talks about female privilege when it suits them and then complains about someone "not being a man" when it's convenient!” -anime dude

[@ShitpostingJoJo]

*_Based 🗿_*

[@paulman34340]

The great wise words of "Kazuma Satou!" A great sage of our time!

[@Erick7Greenday]

Anime chad*

[@balazsvarga1823]

Kazuma, champion of true gender equality. And having a personality while being an isekai male main character!

[@daggern15]

As a female friend once told me "equal rights, equal fights"

[@APerson-ws4cw]

the DM of the minotaur story did a great job. After 2 players try to cause trouble, she pauses the game and asks OP if they're okay with it. When they said no, the DM cut those problem players off and stonewalled them. I'm not really a fan of smiting them in game, but banning them after trying to assault OP's character was great.

[@LoneDestiny6]

I mean, I would say the same about the smiting but considering that since session 0 the Dm warned the priestess player that no naughties was a condition for her religion and still ignore it, the consequences were quite on point "canonically" lol. I thought we had enough tales about how one shouldn't try to fuk with Artemis and her rules.

[@APerson-ws4cw]

@@LoneDestiny6 I mean I would prefer just kicking them from the game instead of in game smiting

[@bloodybutterflygaming1242]

I would agree on the smiting if not for the fact that they were already warned out of character once not to do it again AND it's part of one of their character's backstory that she knows she's risking pissing off the goddess she serves by doing anything s*xual. And if you know anything about Greek mythology, the gods are all petty, vindictive, spiteful beings (albeit some less so than others) and will not hesitate to kill or otherwise horrifically punish mortals for the most spiteful things. Medusa's a good example. The most commonly known version of that is that she willingly slept with Poseidon on Athena's temple and brought Athena's wrath on herself, but some of the earliest versions of the tale Poseidon forced himself on her, and Athena still punished her anyway even though Medusa herself did nothing wrong.

[@Elyseon]

So she not only kept trying to force her character onto the one played by the guy she was crushing on, but she also wanted him to change his character's gender just because, then tried to play the sexism card... This kind of woman is pure poison.

[@gamercow4297]

Did op say he kinda girl ish looking? Because it explains lot why she want his character turn into woman

[@tidaloctoling715]

The real irony of the Minotaur story is that Rune would fit more with Artemis's hunters more than the Priestess

[@hiro4344]

Heh, true, she did accept both men and women after all.

[@mathiasJUSTsvendsen]

@@hiro4344 didnt know that i thought it was only women, huh.... The more you know

[@brendonwalter1006]

@@mathiasJUSTsvendsen There has only ever been one man that she allowed to join her and that was Orion.

[@seankelly4312]

@@brendonwalter1006 There was also Hippolytus, the son of the Amazonian queen Hippolyta and the son of Poseidon Theseus who stayed true to his vows as one of her hunters

[@Toyall1]

"Lets name the DM Mike" Oh no, my DM's name is Mike "Has a girlfriend" Oh definitely not him. Bullet dodged

[@andrewjones9547]

damn bro

[@realrealwarpet]

Not gonna lie, the way he stopped and went “but what about doge?” Was really cute.

[@byronsmothers8064]

That Chekhov's gun involving the priestess of Artemis was handled so well, Zoe got away with it long enough that she forgot about the stipulation of cities.

[@lukaastraearose5227]

what do you mean Chekhov? my dm says it a lot, but even when he explained it it kinda wooshed over my head :')

[@byronsmothers8064]

@@lukaastraearose5227 'never present a firearm in act one unless you plan to fire it before the finale'. Its about setting expectations early to pay off at a crucial point later on.

[@absolutfx]

"oh big boy wants to play rough" in that voice will echo in my nightmares.

[@DnDDoge]

😂

[@realrealwarpet]

Minotaur himbo sounds cute. He’s my barbarians type, thoughh given the minotaur is childish, he’d probably be more fatherly towards him. Keep the weird girls away from the precious bean.

[@TBTabby]

If only more DMs would put the kibosh on in-game sexual assault like that.

[@cdcdrr]

It's incredible how Alexia's player apparently didn't know enough Greek mythology to understand how pissing off the Goddess of the Hunt over her "no sexy" rule was a really, really dumb idea. That was a truly poetic and suitably Greek end for their characters.

[@hiro4344]

If there's one thing you learn about Greek mythology, it's that sleeping around gets found out. Take Zeus. Hera found out about like, every single one.

[@SolrSurfr3]

I know people say you shouldn’t treat out of game problems with in-game consequences, but it can be SO satisfying 😁

[@Captain_Gargoyle]

In reference to the second story about DM unfairly favouring his girlfriend...take a lesson from Mercer. Just listened to a campaign 2 live show where Beau is unconscious in the mouth of an ice centipede thing. *Marisha: Are you going to kill me on a live show?* *Mercer: ....the monster burrows underground with Beau in its jaws* lol

[@windyface9383]

Story 1: That girl could NOT get a clue. Way to torpedo your chances by showing you wouldn't respect the OP's boundaries OOC. Story 2: Our DM's girlfriend in my friday game was made to be the "main character"/prophetized Chosen One type (on purpose, we came into this campaign knowing this and we're okay with it! We had a choice to be that character and let it up to her!) and her character could not want this less. All she wants is to be a great support/healer!

[@meeapeea]

Just wanted to say my thanks for making these videos. There are a lot of dnd horror stories in KZbin right now and a lot of the commentators/readers(?) are putting up a show for extra entertainment with it. But don't get discouraged, as there are people like me who really enjoy listening to these horror stories from a calm voiced announcer too. It's a good change of pace. So thank you! :)

[@soronexle2681]

I thought something was interesting about this story, but then I saw the part at the "tipping" point with Raagu. I saw it with Den of the Drake, who decided to give him an Italian accent. Though, it's still good to get your perspective.

[@Blueoriontiger]

What's the title of this video? I do recall he'd done it in the past, but it's been quite awhile.

[@soronexle2681]

@@Blueoriontiger Here's the title. She won't take "no" for an answer.

[@thephantomwolf1002]

I also saw the Den of the Drake vid

[@HectorCotto97]

9:20 Honestly I think he dodged a major bullet there, if that girl was THAT bad when trying to flirt ingame, imagine what she would have been like in an actual relationship. If anything I'm proud of OP for not only standing up for himself but for standing his ground.

[@BlackRainRising]

my good Doge, Crab and Drake may be big names, but, as most if not all here will agree, we still love you and love you reading these stories for us and thank you for taking the time to do so. I'm a Crab and Drake fan myself but where there's D&D stories, there is me :) Thank you!! Give Lucky an extra scritch for me

[@cmhsky]

HAHAHAHA! The last story was creeping me tf out. Love how the DM handled it!

[@vegeta002]

Hitting women isn't sexist, being willing to hit men but considering women off-limits simply because they're women is sexist.

[@ShitpostingJoJo]

*_#EqualRightsEqualFights_**_ 🗿_*

[@jinglesbejankin7322]

More specifically. Defending yourself from sexual assault is not sexist. Way to victim blame unnamed woman.

[@LatulaArts]

The hammer of justice sees no gender

[@mattcoyle1876]

"The hammer of justice is unisex" The greatest Batman quote

[@valivali8104]

It should be "I won't hit person who is so much smaller and weaker than me that I likely will hurt them harder than I should" no matter that person's sex or gender.

[@ShitpostingJoJo]

OP dodged a HUGE bullet with that crazy gal 😐 We've all heard time and time again, stories of players who don't respect consent from others, having the same kind of behavior IRL. And don't even get me started on how ACTUALLY SEXIST it is to use your gender/sex/whatever as a shield after you're called out for actively harassing someone's character in game 😤

[@ShitpostingJoJo]

EDIT: Absolute GIGA-CHAD Moment from the DM who not only stood up for the minotaur player, but also brought the literal heaven's wrath upon the creeps when they tried to sexually assault his character.👏🗿 *_Absolutely Stunning and BASED._*

[@TheNightmareAngelYT]

Dungeon Master rankings: Story 1: Bad. They didn't stop it from happening. Story 2: That guy. The OP should leave! Story 3: Great! Thanks DM for getting rid of those simps!

[@lemonygem4274]

kudos on that last dm for not taking the problem players' collective bs

[@Ara-gq7sb]

I swear I'd put you in a dnd horror story list, DnD Doge but thanks to you (and my severe lack of playtime) I haven't had anything to complain about

[@myautobiographyafanfic1413]

The dm shouldn't have let Cat sneak in naked.

[@vortega472]

Lucky in the beginning, then a double dose of kitty cuteness at the end. Thank Doge.

[@biribiribiru3246]

had played tabletops before. i realised i am the 'that guy' at the end of my first session. was curious with ttrpg, a friend invited me to play in her group, i joined without expecting much. once i was in the game, i was super stoked. i had so much fun i stood up to point and stuffs and laughing uncontrollably, extremely impressed by the concept of roleplaying your own character (never tried rp before). but by the end of the session, i didn't even realised that i have crossed some lines. talking over others, making weird noises, and at some point i didn't even listen to the gm. a member of the group stopped me, loudly telling me off while the others trying to calm the situation. i sat there, shocked by how shitty it is for me to ruin the session as some others only started to mention. it got awkward for abit before i left once the session is over. my skin was so thin i never tried ttrpg since. i felt bad and terrified by the thought of how easily i lost control of myself. but thanks to that, i since RPed in RP sites, discords, and some other internet stuffs so at least, it got me to try something as awesome as roleplaying.

[@hiro4344]

I'm mainly an online RPer myself, been one most of my life until I found DnD a few years back. Being an introvert it was pretty hard to be heard though. I had to once lean over and tell a guy to shout over everyone for me to get their attention so I could have my say.

[@biribiribiru3246]

@@hiro4344 oof. felt guilty for that. hope the sessions is fun at least.

[@hiro4344]

They were. I wound up being the voice of reason and "DnD Mom." Even got wished "Happy Mothers day" on the chat after I moved away. lol. If you ever want to really make people cry, have your character write farewell letters to everyone in the event of their death. It's what mine did after she was unpleasantly resurrected by a bad guy and was faced with her mortality and all the things she hadn't gotten to say the first time she died. Wasn't a dry eye in the house. Except for evil me. I was internally laughing like a villain I'm sorry to say. I've got a couple horror stories of the things they've done after I went home because we played Sunday nights but I had to leave early most of the time due to living 45 min away and having work early. smh

[@iank472]

Given that in Greek mythology a number of people and entities tried to rape Artemis and she did a bunch of horrific things to them the ending of that story wasn't just immensely satisfying but very appropriate to the stories about Artemis!

[@mathiasJUSTsvendsen]

the Follower of Artemis who really wants to.... "do the act with someone" is to me actually a pretty interesting character concept... but damn did it backfire

[@TheLaughingDove]

Mess with the bull, get the horns....

[@ThePuppin]

I was the only woman playing in a VTM LARP. I dealt with extremely uncomfortable simping and tried to talk to the players directly, the story tellers in charge... I ended up having to leave because it was so bad

[@Driger1792]

I wish I had D&D horror stories so I could name drop you!

[@michelcosta76]

"But what about dodge?" don't worry, If I ever get a horror story, I will say about you and ask you to give Lucky a treat

[@thewolfstu]

23:16 that DM is a straight homie.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 - I am sad that the DM said and did nothing. Story 2 - Talk to the DM about why the game is not fun. If you can be bothered to do that, or if the DM ignores your request, then leave. Story 3 - How Story 1 SHOULD have happened

[@argusroth3269]

Goliath "The Hammer of Justice is unisex"

[@RioDrake]

Oh, Lucky is so loud! Good kitty!

[@becausewhynot813]

its both weird and satisfying of how soothing your voice is

[@ChristnThms]

This is one of those massively lucky events. That chick was definitely gonna put the rabbit in the pot.

[@a.w.1499]

Story 1: Those hands are rated E for everyone.

[@mikeharris6429]

Only thing OP 1 could have done better was using their war hammer instead of their fist.

[@Goopy731]

The DM shouldn't have allowed that character to be a literal predator toward that male character lol, imagine if the roles were reversed.

[@masterkyoogway3565]

The “but what about doge” moment has to be my favourite thing ever.

[@whensomethingcriesagain]

I see this DM went to the Slumzy school of amorous punishment. Still, the Italian Sausage and Meatballs story remains the single best example of that

[@VibingVampire]

im not gonna lie, i kind watch most of your vids for Lucky alone. Your cat is too darn cute

[@novadrake9232]

The second that Jenny starts complaining about not getting it the way she wants and then gets what she wants I immediately take that as a Simp trying to make it to please the queen that could ruin him indeed so if that would have happened I'd nope out faster than you could say Armageddon

[@enyxio2553]

Doges avatar is so adorable i wish i could find a hat like that for my pupper ❤, Doge your great and enjoy your content!

[@Ginger_bearded_bro_88]

Almost to 10k. Congrats 🎉🎉🎉

[@l0stndamned]

Nice to see the DM in the last story wasn't going to let that sort of stuff on un-punished.

[@LiteraryDM]

While what the DM did in the Minotaur was certainly cathartic. Just straight dropping them before that session would have been the cleaner move. Either way, massive respect for the DM stepping in and doing check ins with players.

[@BloodRawEngine89]

Kat "disrespected her sexuality" all on her own by being a harasser and repeatedly trying to force it on OP as if her gender and orientation gives her a pass. Just goes to show anyone can try to play on double standards as long as conveniences them. Hitting anyone of any gender isn't sexist when their identity therein clearly has absolutely nothing to do with why they're hitting them.

[@me0101001000]

After hearing Den of the Drake narrate the story of Ragu, I can't stop thinking about him having the worst possible Italian accent

[@JaggiKobold]

The first one is the legendary "Espantaviejas"

[@TigerKirby215]

Kat: "How could you hit me?! That's sexist!" OP: “I yearn for true gender equality. I have no patience for one who talks about female privilege when it suits them, and then complains about someone not being a man when it's convenient.”

[@HannahSiemer]

I’m just imagining how my party would react to the third OP’s character. We only have two Marshall characters to myself and the monk who can very rarely make it to session. Keep in mind that my character was raised by wolves, and then dwarves, she is a wolf ranger, who treats her allies like her own Wolfpack, but is not afraid to threaten them with a particularly dire consequences when they are being particularly annoying. Let’s just say it will be incredibly sweet and incredibly funny at the exact same time. her punishment, for those two characters is absolutely priceless, and completely in character for lady Artemis. I know my Greek mythology, particularly well due to a series of iTunes U lectures that I’ve been listening to since I was in eighth grade, they are circa 1996, so the references are dated as all hell, but they are awesome. From what I understand Artemis is one of the more strict goddesses, I mean, she didn’t turn a man who was looking at her when she was naked into a deer. Please pardon dictation for any and all errors.

[@koboldking7153]

Pretty sure Lucky told us to commit tax evasion as well...

[@teirdalin]

First guy dodged a bullet with the crazy girl.

[@idankatz8085]

Side note: how do you get you cat's fur so shiny? It's fricking immaculate!

[@Jermbot15]

D&D is a fantasy, and my fantasy is not getting sexually assaulted, or having to date a crazy chick.

[@Remoniq]

Lucky uses Chaarm PErson, and rolls a nat 20.

[@chaoticevilspacewitch]

The plot the two girls in story 3 had in mind for the minotaur character sounds like the kind of stuff I'd get a kick out of playing out, but pursuing it when the player wasn't interested was really shitty. Although, at least all the attempted SA made it appropriate for Greek mythology...

[@SinnerChrono]

Im so glad my group is all a bunch of middle aged dudes who arent cringe.

[@nickerson1971]

Yep.

[@destroyerinazuma96]

Played a half-Gnome. No creepy stuff just tallest Gnome hooked up with shortest Human and had 5 kids including the character.

[@AaronJLong]

I actually met my fiance through roleplay, but we both went in knowing that it was ERP.

[@AaronJLong]

Also, congrats on 10k!

[@kirielbranson4843]

People need to talk. OP should have a conversation with DM and maybe girlfriend. Ask him why he is giving his girlfriend a terrible DND experience. Just because she expresses sadness when she doesn’t instantly kill doesn’t mean he should do this or that she even wants this. Why is he giving her a very inferior experience? OP definitely needs to describe his own experience before he gets so resentful that the conversation is ugly. And maybe she should be involved and someone should describe to her what DnD is really like and why people play it. Make sure she knows she isn’t getting the real deal and find out if she wants that or can only deal with what she is getting. Either way, no one else at the table can be having much fun.

[@physicsstudent6210]

That's kingsfield in the background.

[@akmi1931]

Women simping on male characters isn’t actually all that uncommon. It’s just not the stories that are shared the most. Truth is, it happens just as often, to some degree

[@unluckyone1655]

I mean, simps are so awful to deal with that DnD has a villain based around that concept

[@Keiji555]

That last story is an example of being careful what deity you choose in a fantasy world. That woman chose the worst deity that would allow that. Not over the taking advantage of someone else. She couldn't care less about men. It was the entire "purity" thing. She was pushing her luck.

[@frankalphonso268]

The Greek one just fits like a slipper. That’s what 90% of all Greek mythology is made of is someone being attracted to the wrong person and it having consequences.

[@tdpod6109]

Simps. *Zoom to Deadpan stare at camera. *. Timing is good.

[@maggiemooming]

The way you pronounced Tafe made me laugh, it's an Australian community college pronounced "Tay-f" for future reference 😂😂💛🤙🏼

[@DoomsdayR3sistance]

First story is a dodged bullet, if the girl thinks that behaviour is okay in game, goodness knows what she thinks is acceptable out of game, total lune. Last story, yeah... the moment they knew that the OP wasn't comfortable with it, they should have stopped completely but apparently they lack respect for consent and other player's player agency.

[@TheOvervoid]

Those last two plays should be legally kept away from any horses, cows, and bulls at all times.

[@adamtifone9243]

Rune you gana hit that Rune no Shame dam shame 😂😂😂😂

[@chadgeib929]

DM Favoriting GF - I like your advice as someone who has played DnD with my wife these types of scenarios have come up and I try to give all my players a little extra benefit of the doubt but if you are going to play with a SO you need to establish the law.

[@eatham.]

So close to 10k!!!

[@REfan2002]

Lucky and kitties! Best morning ever

[@Sasukex989]

Lucky is growing up so fast

[@melaniehansen6236]

Just imagine if Kat was your generic neckbeard creeping out a girl.... I'm more livid about the DM doing nothing despite OP's visual discomfort at being constantly harrassed ingame because it "simply was a woman having a crush on OP". This kind of harrassment and attempted SA is a no-no, regardless which gender the players and ther PCs have, PERIOD

[@Thedragonlover95]

Also now we can learn from Doge

[@samuelfick7428]

God I have one it was terrible DM simped for a paladin her goddess always answered her calls and such got +3 weapon while we were lv 6 and so many things. WHile DM tried to kill my pc cause she liked me in both IRL and ingame..... it turned into a very bad game where DM wouldn't play with me due to him simping hard and the girl getting rather stalkery to me....Thought they were my friends but nope. Like if I said the whole story it would take a whole post as it took a whole year

[@devonfree4781]

I feel like OP could have been more violent before leaving.

[@Xokoy]

I'm sure if you could explain the concept to him, Lucky would be very against simps and be willing to tell us such.

[@joshpiotrowski3487]

8:43 you're good too, with lots of potential. Keep going. Read some different stories, the 3 of you are reading the same stories now, different readings call for different occasions. At work, the voice acting of drake goes a long ways, you and mr. Crab are great for relaxing tales as you fall asleep. And quit with lucky

[@adamtifone9243]

Den of the drake, critcrab blow me doge you are my number one guy.

[@nappyheadedsayain4280]

Honestly the first story more on the dm because they could have said no

[@xdfeverdream8122]

To be fair. The first OP was playing an albeit lawful, but still evil character. Probably shouldn't have respected the sanctity of marriage just from a how his character was standpoint

[@deepseastonecore3017]

Good morning/ afternoon Guardian

[@Thedragonlover95]

Oh I know first story, a few have read this, and it's still rediculous, no matter who reads it, it's still funny. And also it's not sexist if you're being creepy, it's no different when one were to hit a man. But outside of game, just don't act on it, talk it out with that person, and if they're being this, well clear things up with your DM. The last story, talk about crazy

[@janscarfi4299]

I love Lucky is a cute litlle furball

[@BlueTressym]

Ugh, Kat was way out of line and the only thing that maybe might have been better is if OP had had serious words with her about consent out of game after the first session in which she started trying to pull her crap. Yes, I know he did say something but this feels like a case of needing to get DM, who clearly was not happy about it either, as backup and tell Kat in no uncertain terms that being a woman doesn't give her any right to trample all over anyone's boundaries and that No Means No. I'm not faulting OP here, as doing that, while it might have at least got Kat to either shape up or get out, is far more difficult than people who haven't actually been in that situation, seem to believe. Likewise, the story with Rune the minotaur, also ugh. I'm glad the DM had the player's back there. While in-game consequences for out-of-game problems aren't ideal, it's not as if they weren't warned. Again, No Means No from and towards ALL genders.

[@MortusVanDerHell]

12:40 min: If I got a DM who so arbitrarily upgraded weapons to make his girlfriend powerful - I would make it a feature. She hits with it after the last opponent in the Encounter, the weapon becomes powerful and valuable in absolutely absurd proportions - and then I swap the weapon with her. I give her the cheap rust sword that I pulled out of the rubbish, let it become valuable and powerful that way - and then put the next crap weapon in her hand. She becomes a gold-embossing machine and magic weapon factory. ...there is no better way to deal with such idiotic behaviour on the part of the DM. Honestly, parody the crap and get the best for yourselves guys. ^^

[@linderwa]

Aw we love the Doge!

[@koboldking7153]

I add you to my roster, Doge

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

I don’t have a problem with flirting a bit in game as long as you’re not a creep and she was a total creep. Consent is key.

[@Rtrstormghost327]

Welp i don’t feel sorry for the two problem players at it was not Zeus then they would been in for a shock

[@DallasBrownridge]

Good morning doge good morning lucky ^-^

[@ricku9487]

Ok that DM in the Greek mythology campaign is amazing. She 100% did the right thing.

[@slagarcrue85]

Ahh high doggie your such a cute dog wizard.