ADVICE to INTERRACIAL COUPLES | What We've LEARNED | Blasian Eurasian Couple

[@skycedi]

Thanks for watching! We hope that this video can encourage and help those that are in interracial relationships (or any relationship). Let us know if you like to see more content like this.

[@Soulfulsay]

Informative, open, honest and reflective. Please keep posting this kind of content, we can all learn from this. Being mixed race and in a mixed relationship myself I can relate to many of the topics you touched upon. Diversity is beautiful but it can be complicated sometimes. I really loved listening to your views on this so please keep it comin’! 😊

[@mariabarnes9197]

I relate to all of what you've both conveyed. That said, what surprised & caught me off guard, was Becky's response to the bonus advice🙃-- I laughed out loud!!😄 It was great-- "I've got his back, his front, his sides-- his everything." Alrighty then!😃

[@ivyd5485]

Hi Guys - I’ve been MIA due to family illness but am still here! Congratulations on your engagement! So thrilled for you. Great video! You guys are uber communicators. I’m in a mixed marriage as well as coming from a mixed family and I appreciate the candid conversation. You can’t ignore race and culture in a relationship so the best way is to approach your relationship with love and a desire to understand and make the effort to embrace each other’s culture as much as possible. Please do more in-depth content because I see a lot more Koreans marrying internationally. Some Korean families are ready to embrace it and other families are really struggling. You’re shining light on what is a new path for many in Korea. Good for you!

[@hoodwiz]

😂 That’s right Becky! First instinct like you said “you better hold me back”. Yet calm and cool like Cedi said is always best. 😉

[@higherliving]

Definitely great advice. We must continue to build bridges, not walls. There is a world of wonderful people who are willing to connect on a Human level. There is still so much to learn about each other and share our experiences.

[@skycedi]

Absolutely agreed

[@LynnDanielleTreasure]

I like how you and Becky share these difficult conversations. It saddens me that the black race is still so despised everywhere in the world. Thank you for sharing the Christ-like approach to human interactions. You two are excellent goodwill ambassadors! You have found the proper course of action to represent Christ-likeness to your community.

[@skycedi]

Thank you for the encouragement and kind words Lynn! We aim to always make a difference through these discussions

[@georgie9722]

Right! Absolutely.

[@terrymott8581]

Seems like a very nice, intelligent couple. From what I gather, met and engaged in about 7 months. I got one for you... I am American, was in the Army in Korea, 24 yrs old. I had no intention of getting married as you're describing. I met a girl, and we were married within about 4 months. Now it's been 36 years. We have a boy and a girl, grown now of course. That is the best thing that I've ever done. She surely has made me what I am today. I have always treated her as my team mate. You will experience some racism, as your kids will look different. My son has confided in me lately that he's very happy the way that he was raised, and having being called different names, and judged different ways as he was growing up, has made him a lot stronger as a person. I am so proud of the whole experience. I wish you the BEST!

[@mrfingers65]

Ha Guys, very good talk. I’m a Blaisan also and she is in Chongqing right now due to the virus, but 2021 will be the year. The ring is waiting for her to get here. Keep moving forward, many are listening!!!!!!

[@jasondunn2796]

Excellent advice, guys. I've been following you for minute, Cedric. I've been navigating the successes and perils of dating in China and this was very helpful. People really downplay how influential it is to just keep a calm demeanour and refuse to allow people to offend you. I'll be sure to take that nugget of advice with me. Keep doing good word, guys and be easy!

[@skycedi]

Thanks for watching Jason and so glad that you found value in this video.

[@carolinepoll643]

You guys are just so cool, and you give meaningful advice, I've learned a lot from you two.

[@shirlspark_stardust]

me too they are influential diverse couple i love their content their energy the material they put out is awesome

[@skycedi]

That’s so great to hear Caroline. Thank you so much for watching

[@thenobleone-3384]

@@skycedi this is great my friend when y'all have children they will be really Korean. I struggled with communicating and now I'm looking for a partner. More power to u Cedric I struggled with socializing I no longer have that problem. I was shy

[@G1Transformed]

I agree 100%. It IS okay to ask questions, and it's important to ask them, especially while in an interracial or intercultural relationship--you SHOULD want to know more about your significant other's culture. Relationships are not about me or you, but we! Stick with we, and you'll have fewer problems. That said, I'd like to point out that there ARE stupid/insensitive questions, and I'd stay away from those, as you're sure to start off on the wrong foot. Not everyone is ready for such questions or has time for them, so do yourself a favor and stay away from questions derived from stereotypes, especially those sexual in nature. I am of course, talking about those in new relationships and those hoping to start one. As the relationship grows and thrives, you probably won't need to ask such questions anyway, but if you do, your might have built up enough goodwill to make your questions less offensive should you indeed ask them. Misunderstandings are going to happen. They happen in relationships with people from similar backgrounds, but more often with those who are different culturally. Do yourself a favor: DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS! Ask questions when you don't understand. If you're from the States, you're probably pretty independent in nature, people from South East Asia tend to think about the group as a whole rather than themselves first. Pushing your significant other to be more like you will likely end in disaster--get to "we," remember it's not about "you" and "me." Most importantly, don't assume your significant other knows everything about your culture. Be ready to share and inform! Speaking from my own experience, my wife assumed I knew everything I needed to know when attending funerals in Japan (I did not), so you can't probably understand how awkward I felt when I had to attend one. I don't fault her for this, as I know she had a lot on her mind--her grandmother had passed away. I did everything I could to learn on the fly and help out wherever I could. Funerals in Japan are very different from any I've ever attended in the States. While I've lived in Japan for quite a while, I had not attend a funeral until then. People know what they know, and don't what they don't. If your significant other is going to do something that isn't an ordinary task, why not "remind" him/her what might be expected of them. Make efforts to learn your significant other's language and culture. You don't need to be fluent, though it would certainly help. Language and culture go together. Knowing one will key you on on the other. Showing interest in the culture and language could possibly make you more acceptable to your significant other's family and friends as well. If they can talk to you, they'll likely worry less about their kin or friend. I'll end with this, learn your significant other's love language--I said this a few videos back to skycedi, and he was already on it =D It doesn't matter what relationship you're in, learn your partners love language and have him/her learn yours. You'll get a lot farther faster when you're both on the same page. If Covid-19 has shown us anything it's that we all desire connection. Even during difficult times. Think about what's best for "we," and stick with that, and you'll get where you both need to be. Becky's right, love's always the answer to hate. Hate + hate/anger = big problem not easily erased. If you meet hate with love, everyone else around you will see the other person for the asshole. Really. If it helps, think about how Luke Skywalker defeated the Dark Side. He broke through his father's anger and hatred with love. He never gave up on him. Love or the lack there of can make or break a friendship/relationship. Keep the cup full. When the honeymoon phase is over (and it will end) your rose colored glasses will cease to work. If you've been working on "we" you'll be able find connection again when things feel frayed. Best of luck all.

[@SunFlower-x3]

I'm multiethnic, I explore all of my blood sides: meaning, I love all of my mixed heritage's. I'm Afro American, Native American (Choctaw) Chinese/Mongolian, Pacific Islander, Irish and Scottish. I heard these stories plus I researched most of it... Waiting to take on the multiple cultures and celebrate all of my them in some way. I have a beautiful heritage and I'm most proud no matter what. I'm older, but celebrate the fact that everyone has a mixture of race in their blood. Concerning bloodlines, the popular thing to say, is "we are 💯 this or that, which isn't true because European people were intermixing very early, that's how many are super light and lightly toned skin. Feel happy whatever you are. European, African, Asian, Eastern or what have you, feel good about it.

[@Theohybrid]

Spending time. True stuff! B this is so helpful

[@Theohybrid]

It would be nice for you guys to converse with KZbin couple, SliceAndRice. This is an amazing conversation. Communication. So happy for you two.

[@reggiBB]

100%, I feel like you guys provide the most wholesome discussions on KZbin amongst the people I'm subscribed to. You're not afraid to go past the superficial & into the things that really matter. And that's so beautiful. I'm in Med school and last term they thought us the diffence between sympathy and empathy. Y'all were talking about it at approx. 9 mins in. I think what Becky was referring to was showing sympathy instead of empathy can be detrimental. And she was correct in saying that it's best to be honest about not really understanding. There's also ways where we can be empathetic even when we don't understand. By doing that rather than using sympathy, we can really Foster a sense of camaraderie. Here's a video they showed us in class about sympathy vs empathy kzbin.info/www/bejne/gYulhYyMnqmDorM

[@reggiBB]

Also, here's a clip for the kids show Inside Out (one of my favourite shows lol) where Sadness shows Bing Bong empathy rather than Joy's sympathy and then attempt at fixing the situation kzbin.info/www/bejne/qmebZoqDardpl68

[@skycedi]

Well I definitely appreciate this comment and it’s encouraging to know that the conversations we present here have some weight and value. We hope to continue to bring value in this way and remain authentic. And I just checked out the links you share, in which I think they are very insightful! Such powerful lessons and reminders on how empathy fuels connection. And love the Inside Out clip too haha! Very profound

[@reggiBB]

@@skycedi 😁🙏 thanks for checking the links out and in glad that my comments met y'all well! I meant every word. Y'all contribute so much into generating thoughtful, empathic and meaning discussions. I know I don't just speak for myself when I say I learn a lot from you two! Thankss!

[@pogglethelesser-fx5bf]

Hey guys! Long time no see! 👋 It's good to know that you are still together and still going strong with the content.👍👍 Much applause and admiration to you both and Congratulations on your engagement! 💯💯🤵👰👏👏🤙💪

[@1limited669]

"Blasian-Eurasian"...Is a word you don't hear to often, In day to day conversations....Congrats on your upcoming nuptials!

[@skycedi]

Thank you so much 🙏🏽

[@Moneystarr83]

@Sincerelybecky I agree with you about meeting new people. If everyone spent time meeting people from different backgrounds and cultures, we would start to see the humanity in others. We would see our commonalities. Also, it would put to bed some of the stereotypes. Great video! I can't wait for part two!

[@skycedi]

Totally agreed Sharie!

[@babelove45]

Great advice!

[@elizabethzewde2254]

Becky has such a very natural cute aura 😍 Congratulations on your Engagement guys💍 🥳

[@skycedi]

Thank you so much Elizabeth!

[@ThisHartOfMine]

I love this! I really needed this video right now, I think it’s just the right way to respond to people you disagree with ❤️

[@adventurousamadeus4348]

Great advice guys 👍🏿

[@heesooroh7681]

Remember when you were living for Korea. Encouraging to see you found love. 😻

[@wandasantillo1220]

You guys are very compatible. So happy for you. You both glow from happiness. Please rub off on the rest of us who want love.

[@westgate5449]

Absolutely beautiful and encouraging

[@lisaflores8801]

You guys have the wisdom you need to live along and glorious life! So happy for you both ❤❤❤

[@skycedi]

Thank you Lisa!

[@yvonnenguyen9329]

Thank You for sharing your wisdoms 💗

[@Lee1Min-Ji]

Congratulations again and thanks for always looking for ways to teach and share. I am loving the love!❤✌

[@skycedi]

Thank you Min-Ji for the congrats and always glad that you enjoyed the video 🙏🏽

[@powernpoundersmusicchannel3484]

Blessing to you both :) stay strong continue to be examples to an unloving world.

[@loulou_9999]

Great topic! Keep the conversation going!

[@skycedi]

Most definitely will!

[@goodbyeg7032]

I found you a few times ago because of pape san’s videos and I gotta say both of you are such beautiful persons in and out and you really seem kindhearted and precious. Becky and Cedric I would really like to meet you one day :)

[@squirrelbae8308]

is quite true , i never thought i would date a foreign person and fall in love . But we both felt in love by xmass time we were already a couple , from friends to a couple . I particularly never found a white man attractive ... but i can say i felt for his own personality and way to see thr world . We have had some discussiom related to our own cultures and is nice to be different in these ways , we never have fights , we discuss and debatr about deeper levels . Thanks for your advice :)

[@scottfw1193]

As halfie media pro-elder; just keep talking. Communication is the key 🖤

[@skycedi]

That is awesome advice, thank you

[@chiarabirocchi1547]

You two are amazing...! So profoud..!

[@skycedi]

Thank you!

[@rudmbeuve]

Nice discussion and advices , I'm brown guy :-) i never considered myself black , married with a thai wife and we have one child !!! Were living in france, i do my best in our relationship to improve in this life to raise our child , like this my child can have a good of this mixed race and have a good experience as a adult and a bright future hopefully 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@whaupmissbrown1912]

Agree!!! Love the video.

[@skycedi]

Thanks for watching!

[@Dr.ljohnson411]

That happens a lot, people look and ask how did this/that happen!

[@jaykay5086]

what a sweet vid. Well said.

[@thenobleone-3384]

It's important for mixed race couples to be strong cause of the world. Lacey Schwartz story was great for me to know cause it's exactly the same as mine

[@shirlspark_stardust]

hi Becky and Cedi how are you guys pray yall had a good weekend😙

[@skycedi]

It was a great weekend, thank you Shirley! Hope yours was good as well!

[@shirlspark_stardust]

@@skycedi mine was good relaxing for the most part 😇thanks

[@darkerbrother1]

Becky don’t take this the wrong way. I no Cedric has said this to you. Whatever you don’t understand about how it is like to grow up Black. When you and Cedrick have a son. I can’t explain it but you will automatically get it. The first time you have to have THE TALK with your son to protect him from Karen’s and the Police. There is nothing wrong with saying to yourself .Nobody should have to go through this. Does the anxiety go away? Unfortunately no. You just get better at dealing with it. When you see Cedrick have a mood change , you will better understand the change. It’s a lot like having PTSD. You never get over it. But you just have to learn to live with it

[@Stephan5916]

If they do have a kid/s their child won't be black anyway. I know about the 1 drop rule and all that fucking crap but whatever. Their kid/s might not even look black. I think their kid/s might look a bit more Asian.

[@Theohybrid]

This is a great point.

[@moses9175]

🌍🌍🌍

[@shirlspark_stardust]

Cedi your father was a great example of how to overcome hate with love the bible even speaks on this and the Lord Jesus Christ spoke of the same concept love your enemies pray for them that despise and use you happy your grandma overcame the hatred and wind up loving your father 🙏 RIP to your father ❤

[@skycedi]

Thank you so much Shirley. I totally agree and I appreciate the encouragement

[@hinglemccringleberry9257]

It's funny, living in an urban area in a multicultural western country, you see so many interracial couples these days and no one seems to really care. But I guess once you venture out of that bubble, you quickly realise that doesn't apply everywhere. Like you guys alluded to, I feel like 80% of these issues just go away through something as simple as exposure.

[@skycedi]

Yeah, I definitely noticed that too having spent time in different areas with varying demographics. I feel like the location has a big part to play when it comes to multi-cultural relationships. Always appreciate you watching and commenting!

[@jbob2331]

Not like most mixed relationships, you both have one racial side you both can relate too..

[@EmbraceSuccess365]

Such a beautiful couple.

[@aaronphillips8294]

I am into mixed race relationship

[@olzt100]

I would think you guys are more mixed cultured than mixed race. Obviously in the US, people would say mixed race more. But from the South Korean perspective, how do they see you all? Are you just foreigners, Americans with Korean ancestry? What is their view?

[@skycedi]

That’s such a great questions that I feel like the answer is very nuanced and also can vary from experience. I think in general (disclaimer - doesn’t apply to everyone), the attitude towards many half-Koreans will depend on a few factors; how “Korean” or “non-Korean” we look, how much we connect with the culture, speak the language, and where we grew up. I think a lot of people still have a hard time viewing mixed Koreans as Korean. It is my belief that most don’t mean harm by it, but it’s the experience of so many mixed Koreans. But there are many Koreans who will accept and view mixed Koreans as Korean. It’s a really difficult question to answer and one that we dive into on Halfie Project and many discuss more on this channel as well.

[@olzt100]

@@skycedi Love you guys. You two do a wonderful job of educating people on the human experience.

[@ECole-le7we]

First, I loved the kiss on the cheek. Your displays of genuine affection for each other are so endearing. Second, I am an African American in the US/NC. Both of my parents were African American also. However, our long history here would confirm that most of us - particularly those of us with ancestry that dates back to slavery - are "mixed race". (Even some whites are. They just don't know it.) That said, I understand that race is socially -constructed and that it was completely made up by so-called whites in order to subjugate blacks by making them less than human for the purpose of securing unpaid labor. Unfortunately, the race construction is as powerful today as it was then. Having grown up under Jim Crow, I have been on a lifelong journey to understand race, how it happened, and it's implications back during enslavement and through to the present day. This knowledge journey has helped me grow and deal more effectively with it. For example, I never allow anyone else to define who I am. And who I am is beautiful, admirable, loving, and powerful. I know this was true for my ancestors as well. I think of that when people try to offend or exert their privilege; and I have taught that to my children and grandchildren by my intentional example. (Skycedi, it sounds like your Dad did the same thing.) Thank you for bringing these complex issues and conversations forward in such a healthy, adept, and effective way. I can't wait for Part 2!

[@skycedi]

Thank you so much for sharing your insight and I love how you framed it. It makes so much sense.

[@runrockwater]

lol this sounds my interracial friendship problems. Interracial couple its casual so mostly friend being judgy and going on about cultural differences n here like damn we just fucking. Well plus trying to explain he is biracial so the cultural concerns do not apply.

[@gatestimonymiracle1302]

You guys are my people. I have never dated someone because of their race and culture. I date because I liked them. I don't fetishize pp ewww

[@thenobleone-3384]

It's important to have common interests I stop fetishing I'm attracted to European women. I was born in America so that's interracial or different from me.

[@syzmak137]

Syzmak again!Becky,Cedric,I do not think you are really in a position to give advice on interracial couples just yet ,as you are still on a discovery mode(specially Becky”why don’t you go to a Korean salon”)!There is absolutely (and there have never been )no point rationalising instinctive unhealthy remarks from a monochromatic society like Korea !it is almost a lost cause!!It is the job of the society at large !Becky,Cedric(definitely French name),you both need to take a cram course on interracial relationship ,go beyond the discovery mode,process all the unwelcoming remarks,go through a Darwinian selection of friends,reach a level of healthy network of acquaintances (where odd questions are excluded),and focus on the master of all task:your marriage and beyond!(Cedric/Becky,the kids will have to go to a international school).Traveling in countries where a couple like yours will hardly be noticed ,will help tremendously(Brazil,South Africa(CapeTown),France ,UK).Also a trip to some uplifting minority friendly countries like Norway will help !It is not possible,almost unbearable,to divine yourself almost uniquely by the short sighted norms of the Korean society !I am sure Korean couples from the same creed and village and class,divorce too!So reach the level playing field post race,and tackle mutual characters which at the end is the most important in a marriage !Only then will you be ready to give solid advices for the cute kids to come (most exciting part)!As for the Korean society,for god’sake ,soon the world will look like Captain Kirk’s crew!They really should get over the silly questions !

[@syzmak137]

I like you!But I sincerely think that you are doing it too much !You should not be obsessed by your differences !There Are things you need to let go!I mean Becky!!!Go to a Korean salon???Come on!!!You need to let go !You guys need to be a little bit more Teflon:We are in 21st century,I post Obama era!A Kamala Harris time !Advice from a African married to a Australian living in China !