What To Do When Your Kids Won't Listen

Dana Obleman (www.kidsthemanual.com) shares advice for parents when your child will not listen. "How do I get my kids to listen?" This is a common issue for many parents today. In this video, Dana discusses parent child communication, and tips for parents on getting children to listen.

[@adansanchez2845]

Any teens here bcuz of their little siblings

[@paulanaomi5778]

yeahh...

[@lighteneddarkness9617]

Yes Jeez

[@icylosers]

@@lighteneddarkness9617 i can relate

[@kitagreen3197]

Yepp

[@MommaWolf1967]

you need to learn own to spell here

[@thelalicfam]

I'm glad I came across this video. My 3 year old hasn't been "listening" at all lately. It's made me re-think my strategy. I do have a bad habit of just yelling from another room, and just expecting her to do what I'm asking. Mornings are so hectic with her and my younger one, but I have to force myself to stop whatever I'm doing and go speak to her. I hope this makes a difference because she's driving me crazy with our current situation! Lol

[@DSZ58]

You’re not alone. I battle the clock and time consuming at hyper speed when I have to stop and kneel to his level and let him read my lips and speak slowly- so what I do is simple- I have him do everything with me. I use “let’s do ____ and THEN we can do _____.” And a variety of this. Pretty much I’m repeating the task and pointing and doing it with them, and I say “this will take 3 1/2 weeks to grow” and after day 3 it’s set in motion. It’s all in our heads, and our kids see everything we do even when we aren’t noticing. If your daughter sits like you, snacks like you, sings, copies you, then they’re a lot more ahead than we think. It’s not autism, it’s nature vs nurture and it’s everyday. God bless you and your family and good luck to both of us lol

[@Deikoka]

@@DSZ58 Wow! Beautifully put. Thank you for sharing 🌻

[@perryh.5306]

If I was your son...only thing I'd be doing is being at home doing what you tell me to do with no back talk or arguing. I'd do all of the cleaning so you don't have to worry with it! I'd help out in all other areas. My only happiness would be to obey you and make you happy!

[@ems8717]

Parenting is hard 😢

[@coolwater411]

I AGREE!

[@fenekmagded4473]

Tell me about it

[@user-zy4xk2zl5l]

Agreed. I'm babysitting two kids and it's...hectic. Dealing with little minds and possibly molding them is tricky business.

[@heidzdilla]

i agree! i am having hard time at the moment especially living.with in laws.

[@monstersince]

loving is easy

[@chloes._pov]

I am actually here today because I'm about to break down. I feel like i am always repeating myself to my 4 year old. She has pushed my boundaries today and I really just need help. It's been months.

[@gogaga247]

im right there with you mama. I feel the same with my almost 3 year old twins. they don't listen to a word i say. I don't know what to do!

[@jbatts7189]

Hang in there. Parenting isn't easy, you will get through it just stay calm. I have a teen, that's when they really drive you crazy

[@zero112]

Right there with ya.

[@tincoronelarnaprints]

you are not alone . Im crying everyday . 😓 frustration and exhaustion everyday .

[@jenniferjennifer9973]

Me too 😫😫😭

[@ForTeachersChannel]

So many of these points also apply to education in a school setting. Thank you for sharing 👍🏼

[@beastman1083]

This information is very helpful since I will be an elementary teacher soon and never had to deal with children directly. I remember what is was like being a child and doing the things mentioned...I don't want to repeat those unfair habits.

[@kloelol8614]

Well you're 3 years into your career. Having zero experience with children have they listened as well as you expected?

[@thatdogewithvr]

The most strange and annoying thing happened yesterday. I had a party to celebrate Easter yesterday and my cousins including my 3 year old cousin. Later near the end of the party, my 3 year old cousin kept throwing my stuff downstairs even though her mom was telling him to stop it. I felt really confused because I asked him questions like "why did you not listen" or "what did you do that for" and he just said "sorry" or "ok". I felt really confused and frustrated.

[@dehydrated17yroldbitch77]

i swear this generation of kids are weird af

[@keylimetea]

He’s saying sorry bc he knows he did something wrong. He may not care about it or that he did it.

[@thatdogewithvr]

@@keylimetea ok thx i was really confused

[@keylimetea]

@@thatdogewithvr np!

[@thatdogewithvr]

@@happily3 oof. hopefully you can help him

[@michaelolz]

I'm going to try this. It sounds perfectly reasonable and it should cut a lot of the stress out.

[@Thatguy-rp4qh]

And how did that work for ya?

[@respectallpeople4512]

Without much choice, I became a young carer for my autistic nephew with a global delay so I'm thankful for the help. I'm only 17 and I needed help with him because he wouldn't listen to anything I'd tell him. My sister and his mother got sent to a psych ward when he was born my mother cared for him but she's getting old and she is disabled so as the youngest and only one still living at home, I naturally became the one to look after him and its hard. Thank you sm

[@blushalore3615]

You're doing the best job may god give you the best reward for it please continue looking after this little human no one knows the feeling of staying in a world without mothers.

[@Anne-xi9js]

Thank you!😊this video is very helpful

[@LaDeeDah]

You're so right. And I used to do this when my 6 year old was smaller, and it was great. But the busier we've become with homework and me working on things I've just gotten to think that he knows this already. But I'm getting so aggravated now I see I have to go back to that face to face and try to be calm

[@bestoffers283]

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[@victorr5145]

thanks for this wise advices! they really work!

[@abcfirstreadingkidsapp2227]

I am Agree with you

[@kidspartygames7604]

Thank you for sharing the useful tips

[@shreecraftplace_shilpa]

U r actually saying right

[@lcosito]

blessings to your words.....action required from.us parent, we can't just wait for a miracle...

[@richierich7384]

Just a thumbs up for making this video. I appreciate your efforts.

[@suzanmobeng5874]

I'm going to try these tips, thank you. My daugther turned 3 last month and she just stopped listening. She's also a bit too CURIOUS for my liking... Last night instead of sleeping, she was busy opening the windows and chatting to the neigbhours dogs... It's all a bit too much.

[@mauric6943]

If i didn't know better I'd say she watched me *trying* to get the boys out the door and then made a video explaining everything i did wrong. Thank you

[@AtomicWrong]

I'm watching this because my baby brother keeps saying the f word and my parents are blaming me.

[@alextorres990]

Electric Soul How old is he? When my son was 2 I thought he was saying the f word... turns out he was trying to say "fork" lol

[@nishakuttan2822]

70sdelrey Babies do that even more, when they see an interesting reaction from the ppl around them.

[@nasraage4759]

..

[@WhatSayYouLandLubbers]

You shouldn't be watching this, your PARENTS should be.

[@susanadiazdiaz7088]

Lana Del Rey Enthusiast true

[@allthings7301]

I hope this video helps I have tried everything I have a 3 and 4 year old boys and a 1 year old girl and the struggle has became very real for me with neither boy doing anything I ask or tell them to do and it’s making me depressed

[@abcfirstreadingkidsapp2227]

very Helpful Advice

[@reasons2believeministries]

You are so right!!!

[@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver]

I'm not a parent but I find the easiest way to get my nieces amd nephews to listen to me is to make them feel heard too.

[@ummabdulrahmaan8827]

Don't worry about it kids tend to listen to other than their parents. My kids listen to my sisters nicely :)

[@asap9224]

Don't worry about it, you're wright you're Not a parent...

[@cake8888]

My kid doesn't listen to me, I stop listening to him. It works with him. The understanding approach just doesn't work with him. When he asks for something and the answer is no. He asks why. I say I don't need to give a reason. Why is this wrong? Through life you won't get kindly people giving explanations every time you come up against obstacles. He seems to respond to this. He knows where he stands. I make sure I try and be fair. All this understanding, explaining things is okay to a degree, but alot seems to me, to be made up to give psychologists things to write books about.

[@TheRealMcP]

Yeah, we were all experts when we were the fun Aunties / Uncles.

[@katielove9932]

That doesn't always work. Especially, if they won't talk!

[@derpyfans1136]

I have this little sister (Lina) who does not listen to anyone at all, not even her parents. She’s always causing trouble, getting snacks on her own, destroying stuff and does not respect our grandmother. My parents did not even discipline her when she would lock our grandma and her other younger sisters outside(balcony, laundry room) for a long period of time, this happened occasionally. I’m not usually around when that happens because My parents are divorced so I’ll usually be at my moms on weekends or breaks. She would also always secretly get snacks on her own when we’re supposed to be eating our meals(breakfast,dinner) Not only that but our step dad is literally the worst at parenting, he would let her get away with everything since he favours her more but would always yell at my second youngest sister(Annie). Kid you not, he encourages our young sisters to hit each other harder when they got into a fight. And like I said, he favours Lina more so whenever she got upset or Cries due to being hit by Annie, she would always go to her father and snitch even though she’s the one who started the fight. Annie would be the one taking all the punishment while Lina gets her way. But when Annie would come crying to him, he’ll usually always blame her and yell at her to stop crying or he’ll just ignore her. She also talks back a lot. Our parents are rarely home so they blame us for her behaviour which is Utterly bûllshît. It’s stressful watching them so I really need help. I have 4 sisters, ones about my age while the other 3 are about 10 years younger. Lina’s about 5, Annie’s 4 while the youngest is 2. They’re all following and learning from her behaviour and I don’t know how to properly discipline her.

[@emmaandfluffy]

Good tips!

[@anupamasid2912]

Thank u maam.....I want to definitely try this .....love u

[@breanna681]

Thank you!

[@naturesfriend812]

Than you for vid! I need help with my toddler's behavior.

[@marclabrie6027]

Discipline

[@esme-om7om]

Her voice is so soothing!

[@natalyatkachenko1]

Or boring

[@KaminJohn]

@@natalyatkachenko1 soothing for sure

[@jebtucker9359]

This gave more useful information than a 30-minute video by some psychologist author that I just listened to before. Thank you very much

[@stephaniewulk3331]

Time outs ONLY WORK if you as the parent in your family schedule have no place to be or time constraints on what you're telling them to do lol. There isn't always time for a "time out" , so you need to find some other option of discipline that's effective for your child in those cases. Time outs can work for some children and not for others. Same goes for spanking, being grounded, getting things taken away for a while etc. You get my gist. I do agree with getting their full attention and talking directly to them face to face. I've noticed with my kids that, that helps quite a bit! Another thing is BEING CONSISTENT! Say what you mean, and mean what you say basically. No parent is perfect, hell I know I'm not, but kids are smart and if they know you aren't really gonna follow through with the consequences, then they will learn how to walk all over you! ESPECIALLY if you have a strong willed child. Compliant children not as much but they too can push the limits sometimes. I have 1 compliant child (my eldest), and my two younger ones are my strong willed kiddos lol. I was strong willed, so I guess I got what I deserve 😆. Anyway thanks for sharing your video!!!!

[@nikkimoney3062]

Stephanie Wulk yep. You got 2 mini-me's hehe!!enjoy! I got one too. :)

[@tiburciotamayo1838]

thank you

[@BonnieandTomLiotta]

I know exactly how you feel, parents/teachers who have hired me in the past felt the exact same way before they found out WHY I teach children by principles. Can you open your mind to these thoughts? Principle #1 Know Your Role as a Parent/Teacher. My job is to do everything for them at birth/first with the sole purpose of passing on all Missing Life Skills over time so the child can do it all on their own and don't need me any more. It is this thought that makes you realize the childhood games of Follow the leader, Simon Says, Monkey See Monkey Do, Eye Spy and Hide N Go Seek just to name a few allowed me to guide their young spirits to learning how to attain what is important to them vs punish them when they don't do what I wanted them to do and believe this is somehow operating with the laws of nature. Think of things you want them to do as Missing Life Skills/Action steps to guide them on reaching what is a GOAL/Reward for them in their eyes. Principle #2 Kid's Brain vs Adult's Brain believes we can go back to our childhood but a child has no way to fast forward to an adults world. So it would be like the definition of insanity believing that by telling them over and over they would understand what it would be like to be a teacher/parent who has kids, right? Add the 3rd element of Principle #3 Creating the Right Environment where they see you as the one who can teach them how the world works and you would be willing to let them struggle by guiding, not overcompensating, bribing or dictating their thinking so they can play the game of opposites in a way that all obstacles can be turned into opportunities like a game and/or puzzle that they learn to solve. Better known as Perseverance and Self Control to obtain their goal, also Missing Life Skills. It was this way of thinking that allowed me to take all the kids who were kicked out of other daycares for bad behaviour, labeled ADHD/ODD and Create Champions for Life in our licensed after school Martial Arts Day Care Center. Because at the end of the day, the children were just missing the necessary life skills to create what they wanted in life and the only thing they knew how to make it show up for themselves was an outdated cry that has yet to be upgraded with Missing Life Skills. Once you see and believe this time tested truth (Law of Nature) you too can Raise Healthy, Happy, Cooperative Kids. If you want to learn more? visit learntospeakkid.com

[@selamselam1756]

Thank you, thank you. I found your video yesterday. I just applied today and it works out perfectly. As a matter of fact my youngest one asked me what should he do? I was saying waww. I enjoyed my morning now. I will definitely subscribe you. Thank you again!

[@tamaratotten9268]

Same . Today has been rough

[@rjyvcollections6288]

Valuable information

[@ISITPOSSIBLESHOW]

Very great information !! thank you for uploading

[@vladimirolujic6637]

Love your voice

[@calmtoddlertempertantrums309]

Interesting teach.

[@dakotamabry1645]

So I thought of this scenario- when ask to put on their socks and shoes .. they refuse so why not tell them to take a walk on the most uncomfortable gravel and say can you handle walking on this the whole time with no shoes - show them .. they might just get their shoes on or they put their shoes on next time when they are walking on it . Then again that may not work because I had calluses developed on my feet to where I could actually handle the concrete, I also had far less feet and ankle problems . When I started wearing shoes more even smooth concrete bothered me .

[@shahinir]

How to get kids to listen: 1. Connect emotionally with your child, and keep reconnecting every day 2. Spend 15mins a day one-on-one doing what he/she likes 3. Told tell them what to do: don't order, correct, or boss around 4. Child must know you love, respect, admire them and are their friends inorder for them to listen 5. They must be clear about consequences and follow through

[@ssseapark]

Sean J 👍👍

[@angieriley869]

Sean Click Here!

[@WhatSayYouLandLubbers]

I agree with most of what you said, aside from being friends with your children that's not okay, you are supposed to be their teacher, not their friend.

[@i.a.3393]

LinnyLoo BooBunz Yes, number 3 doesn't make sense. Parents need to boss kids around. That's part of the job.

[@WhatSayYouLandLubbers]

@@Hyurachan shaping them, if you will :)

[@vanessamcveigh1506]

Great, but doesn’t really explain whether you carry on doing all the stuff you need to do for example getting ready for the morning school run. Or whether you stand over your child and watch them carry out your instruction. Ie, put your shoes on. I guess with this advice you need to be super organised. When mine started school I was advised to make getting ready into a competition or game. The boys has to post a picture of school shoes into a box once the task was done. It worked for junior age kids.

[@akumbaimsong7622]

yah these parenting and handling teenage lessons are very very important for every parents, thanks.....

[@melissakiwigal]

Great tips!

[@roomadmin8035]

the suggestion to a point is half right...won't work for defiant behaviors or personalities where escalation is their target reward to increase the "pleasure" of the defiance and power struggle mechanics...then come the tricky modification...how does one issue logical consequences...if ultimate compliance is predicated on avoiding unpleasurable outcomes or motivating towards achieving desired outcome...how does one target in a balanced way the increasing consequence or reward factors that the person or child values (both tangible and intangible)???

[@mxtilldeath9850]

I just had to stand in front of the bathroom door inside with my son and calmly say , hey I love you I want you to be clean , there is no negotiation here. your showering. he cried and flipped out then eventually went into the shower. hes 8 it just takes patience.. I told him shower homework them a game. they flip they toss tantrums but if you dont budge they listen eventually and know your serious when you ask them to do something. no bargaining no negotiation.

[@mxtilldeath9850]

+The kindred Soul hahahaha. your definitely a kindred soul my friend. lmao epic reply

[@algallego]

+The kindred Soul That's what used to happen to us growing up in the 70s with a step-father. We KNEW better the consequences of not listening!

[@seemekhan3136]

;3

[@armandakwiatoski9791]

Mxtilldeath try listening to them. Ask them what is needed done to achieve the goal.

[@user-fu1nw7kh2h]

Mxtilldeath has

[@laneybowers8907]

I feel like when someone is listening to you It means it’s going in one ear and out the other but when somebody isn’t hearing you that’s when you need to like speak up

[@wlsfb]

Thanks for the video bc I have a step sister and she makes lots of mess and blames on me and my real sister that we DID IT but we didn’t so we had lots of problems and she don’t listen to my mom what she says and she still keep doing it and I had to tell my mom that she has to leave bc how she treats me, my sister and my mom badly but she said no and I cried This is the true story and yes I have a worst family ever.

[@m0bz0mb39]

Lol, worst family? Not even close, But I am wondering why your step father would let her get away with that, she sounds spoiled as heck

[@kaleidoscope8743]

Listen or mind. They hear. They're ignoring so they won't have to do it. You need to speak directly to them with respect and be willing to take the time to redirect them and provide tangible consequences. Time out is useful for certain inappropriate behaviors. But failure to act should be a punishment ( and timeout is quite simply not a punishment). in fact if you give time out to a child who is refusing to obey your request for them to do something, then you just gave them more time to hold off obeying you. A timeout in that case is not a punishment at all but in fact a reward. If a child doesn't want to get their shoes on and you put them in time out they're still not getting their shoes on. If a child is jumping on the furniture and tearing down the house, a timeout would indeed be an appropriate measure of getting the kid to calm down. If you're trying to enlist action, a timeout just continues to delay the action which satisfies the kids that they are getting out of obeying. And some kids are very clever to utilize their misbehavior to stave off obedience by pushing buttons. I can tell you in our house my parents didn't ever use timeout for punishment. If we didn't do what we were asked it meant corporal punishment or losing a privilege. And it was dealt swiftly so there was no mistaking what was expected. And my parents had very good control of a household of kids. And you know we didn't love our parents any less because they were willing to spank us when we were disobedient. And in retrospect I can appreciate the fact that our parents took the time and effort to punish us and teach us that our obedience was required and was good. And you know we didn't need to be spanked often. We learned very quickly that we were expected to mind and we didn't have trouble remembering what consequence came with disobedience.

[@hilaryjoseph9706]

Kaleido Scope those days are long gone..but sadly missed by parents

[@iraiorina9328]

Kaleido Scope в

[@kiki611978]

Kaleido Scope I love your response. This helps me alot. Thank you for taking time to write this.

[@fabyisathome1716]

Thank you so much for putting this out I will start to take away my sons toys if he doesn’t listen and will give them back if he listens one by one

[@marclabrie6027]

@@hilaryjoseph9706 there not long gone still exist in many countries

[@richcrann2259]

What do i do if im trying to parent but my "partner" would rather side with the kids

[@srinidhibr803]

Yes

[@cannothandle]

what do you do when your mom doesn't listen to anything you might want to say though

[@vanessabayardo9788]

what if it's a whole classroom? :(

[@Bfsfff]

This is all fine and good but if your kids aren't getting dressed, are hitting their sibling, are doing something they shouldn't be doing (ripping something up or cutting something with scissors), and 5 other things throughout the course of the day, how do you come up with FIVE or SIX different consequences? I am exhausted trying to discipline my daughter who gives me a whole range of challenges throughout any given day. She won't even stay in a time-out She is making me CRAZY!

[@goblemom1]

Remember that child behaviour isn't black and white. There may be something that is bothering her. Children don't have the skills to properly process their emotions, so these feelings come out in bad behaviour. You can ask her why she chooses not to listen to mommy. Sometimes their answers can come out cryptic but keep talking until you can peice together what her needs are. Not all bad behaviour can be cured by punishment.

[@nishakuttan2822]

Kelly Goodlad I suggest the book by Becky.A. Bailey called..Easy to love, Difficult to discipline. It has helped me. Bad behavior is an indication that the child doesn't know how to handle a situation in a socially acceptable manner, with patience we can guide them. .

[@brianavallejo8505]

Kelly Goodlad 😭😭😭

[@jessikapiche6097]

Kelly why do you come up with 5 or 6 consequence in the first place? Isolation is the consequence for bad behavior toward others. point. if her room is too well 'furnished', remove games and isolate. I know how mean it may seems but some children are just impossible to deal with. they will not listen to any adult cause there is no way they will accept controling behavior. These kid will not respond to the 'connection' , the nanny 'talking' and other thing a normal person will comprehend. These kid need to understand that their behavior is not going to be tolerated anymore, and that they will be isolated. if you lose your sanity, then your kid cannot count on you and will go even more chalenging. One warning - then consequence, no repetition, no delay, immediate consequence. Never raise your voice, talk, don't shout, you do not do what your kid do. Normally those behavior change in 2 days if the parent act.

[@marclabrie6027]

@@MegaUnfunny time outs dont work

[@smileax5730]

I’m an au pair and I’m taking care of a 4 and a 2 year old. For some reason the 4 year old stopped listening to me some weeks ago and now everything is a big struggle. When I want to get her ready in the morning she says no to everything! I stay calm all the time, try to talk to her and when she is still not listening I give her consequences. But most of the times she doesn’t care about the consequences at all like no TV in the evening or taking away a toy. She just starts crying and laying on the floor. I really don’t know anymore what to do. And when she is not listening, my Hostmum gets mad at me bc I didn’t manage to handle the situation :(

[@singalingalongaling]

Good video!

[@archanapradhan5754]

Hi these are all great points, but how do you deal with children who do not respond to any requests and you have to rush out of the door in the morning. No time for time outs!

[@marclabrie6027]

Good discipline when you come home

[@dakotamabry1645]

Hey if they ain't gonna where their shoes they can walk on painful gravel - probably get them to put on their shoes next time

[@cesarsarabia5820]

You don’t make a request or ask your kids to do something, you tell them what to do. Yes, do it in a respectable way, but you are the parent, you are the leader. Set the example by also leading by example. But at the end, you’re in charge, not them.

[@anthonynash8079]

This doesn't work with my child, and neither does the stuff in this video

[@sanju91jas87]

What if the child isn’t taking action and you want to give time out but you are already running late for example to get to school...?? I’m having this problem. Every morning my sons will cause some drama and then we are rushing around just to get to school on time. They won’t eat breakfast , won’t put shoes and coat on. Parenting is tough. I’m at a breaking point every morning .

[@strawberryme08]

My 4th kid is nothing like my other kids and he’s 6 now and recently gotten really really hard. He’s not listening and getting into stuff making huge messes etc it’s like he’s a toddler again and I can’t keep up he’s tearing the house apart not angrily just busy but won’t clean up etc I’ve never been able to find consequences with any of my kids that actually work!! Been trying for 18 years now and nothing effects them.

[@dewihajar555]

Please give me suggesstion or something! Im so done with my little sister, idk where to begin it, i am 18 (still trying to go to college and try to study my ass off) and my little sister is 15. Im kinda type which is when i say it, i will do that. So, we only live together because my parents just go for works. I do the cook and meal, and for cleaning we do that partly. So she hates vegetables, and im a vegan. Its a little difficult to cook for her because she always love fast food, i try to hold her but she never hear me. I try to cook chicken which is i never touch about it before, (i just studying before and almost never go to kitchen) i try to cook some meals etc which is i never did before, but she always complains, and there s 1000 reasons why she wont eat that not because its awful, just because to booing me in front of my dad or etc because i cant give her what she want. I gave her money i mean if she doesnt want what i cook so she can buy outside, but she doesnt want to buy it and i had to be always the one who buy it, though the seller just out of our window. Its okay i still can manage it. i wish she can take care about herself or something but she cant, she just not taking bath regularly, she just dont want to eat if its not served in front of her, she dont want to getup from bed at morning and keep with phone all day long. And about the cleaning, we agree that she will clean up everymess that she did and her room( never clean since last year i think, and will never let anyone enter her room,but i can smell bad from outside, and i ever know theres even dead bat inside it because the bat stuck there. Oh my god!!! Im so done. She keep promising and never do it. She throw her dirty clothes in bathroom floor and dont want to wash it. Her bedroom is so messy and she dont want to sleep there so she sleep in my room and in my father room and it keep mess again. Idk pls people give me advice or something. I try to tell her in kind way with small voice like some internet suggest to me. I honestly rarely angry, usually if im just so angry to people, im crying i try to be hard to her today, and i cant help my anger again. Please dont be rude to me if i did wrong things, because im trying and i never had children before. Im sorry Im so done she is so disrespectful when everyone tell her something. Even theres a day when i go out with her to buy some ice cream in small store. And in front of the seller, she said 'omg, i want to vomit'. Im so angry!!!!!!!! Nobody deserves what she said to that seller

[@jessicahernandez9512]

What if you have 4 kids in the home. Ages 9, 8, 1.5, and 4 months old. Our household has always had fairly high standards compared to most of today’s children. My 8 year old is the one who likes to be disobedient. He lies to us several times a day which results in half of a day in the corner and if it continues then it will go up to an entire day unless I have places to go then obviously he goes with me. He has a very bad habit of being lazy and not doing things such as cleaning his room the proper way. I’ve physically showed him exactly how to do it and even put his mess in sorted piles and given instructions on what goes where and once again how to clean. Yet he still will hide the mess even though he knows I will check once he says he’s cleaned. Yesterday he took all the stuff I put in a pile and put it in his closet floor. I grew up in a home with no mother and my father would not do corner time. I knew if I disobeyed I’d get a very big spanking and I never considered not listening. My husband is anti spankings so we only do corner time and I’m frustrated because I’m the only one home on average 18 hrs a day 7 days a week while my husband works. When he comes home the kids are asleep and he never witnesses the trouble our 8 year old gives me. I’ve tried all of these techniques but nothing seems to work. I don’t yell at him if I get frustrated I walk out to regain my composure before moving forward with the consequences of his behavior.

[@msl41382]

Jessica Hernandez Get the book, 'how to talk so little kids will listen' by Faber and king (age 2 to 7) or for older kids like you 8 year old, 'how to talk so kids will listen' by Faber and Mazlish These books are a lifesaver and it make you understand them a lot better on why they do what they do.

[@aleeza7866]

Throw away all his favorite stuff or take it to a donation center let him see it tell him you cant keep your room clean so it’s your toys foult let’s give them away it will make him clean his room always

[@Flockstars]

Even with a hearing difficulty they can still not listen. Sign language

[@ahmedalamayreh2169]

Why i feel sleepy!

[@darat4732]

What if they say ‘no’ when you ask for a response?

[@Ritoula065]

what i don't get is HOW does someone make the kid follow the consequence. i mean they can just say "no" and jump around or leave or whatever. how do they finally listen to you? (i speak as a preschool teacher not as a parent)

[@deskraven8351]

Rita Mour Hi! I'm a behavioral therapist and a mother to one six year old boy. Great question! Typically after I provide the consequence and he is protesting or jumping up, I give him a single communication. something like "You are on timeout. You may get up when the timer sounds. If you get up before that we will start over." If they continue to be combative, offer no more verbal communication and simply physically place them back on the step and restart the timer (age= number of minutes) until they fulfill the consequence. This can be very draining but stay consistent and it will get easier! Once the timer sounds, get down to their line of sight, explain why they are on timeout, what they can do instead, and request an apology. Don't forget to offer lots of verbal praise for any compliance, however small. I used to be a preschool teacher myself and I know you have your limitations, especially in a room with 10 or more kids. Hope this helps!

[@Ritoula065]

thnx for the answer, appreciate it !

[@deskraven8351]

Rita Mour I'm glad you were able to read it. I wasn't sure this would reach you one month later, lol. best wishes!!

[@Ritoula065]

here in Greece plenty classes are with 25 children! thanks again best wishes to you too!

[@deskraven8351]

Kris KeepinItReal That doesn't work long term. Get with the times!

[@cindyolson5849]

this is what Ive always said to do.

[@kourtneyw8442]

My child won’t even say “yes mom” she will just look at me.

[@glamma123]

What age is appropriate ? My toddler going on 2 is not listening and thinks its a game. I'd love up see a video about toddler bounties and ways that help teach them

[@empresstina876]

Janet Morris At the age of "terrible twos " they Don't listen period, it's their way or the highway lol. This is when they will get on your nerves the most.

[@calisiafarqueharson1]

empresstina876 at two my baby was good hes three an oh lord help me

[@WaypointParenting]

We have a vid on our page geared more towards younger kids/toddlers. We have 3 steps we typically follow. 1) Address their defiant attitude through a) verbal correction or b) consequences. 2) Spend time instructing/demonstrating them how you expect them to listen when you talk to them. 3) Have them practice it and praise them when they do it the right way.

[@jaydenbrown4226]

thats exactly my little sis does

[@WaypointParenting]

You can check out a video on our channel about what we do with our young preschool age kids when they don't listen. Let me know if you have any specific questions and I'll do my best to answer.

[@madisonking2615]

How to make your child listen: tell them you'll give 'em twenty bucks.

[@Zahriyah4ever]

LOL WHY DID THIS ACTUALLY WORK

[@greghacker4555]

Yes Yes you do

[@wocgoblin]

I'm a stepfather and I've been in these kids life for over 10 years and they have put my wife and myself against each other. Example: son u need to send me ur work schedule so I know. ( son- ok)... never does. So after months of this i sit him down and tell him if he doesnt send me his schedule I wont take him. 2 days later. No schedule. Son- oh I work tomorrow. Me- find a ride. The next day. Son- I gotta be at work at 3pm. Me- find a ride. Calls his mom and tells on me. Son- dad wont take me I need a ride. Mom- didn't he talk to bout this the other day? Son- no. Mom leaves work and gets him. Now for me this goes on all the time. I want to punish hard to show this isnt acceptable. My wife just leaves it as dont do that again.

[@dakotamabry1645]

You guys need to be a United front in this . I'm sorry to hear that ..

[@justme890]

I'm a teacher with 10 young kids. They don't listen to anything I say and I am right in front of them. I try time out but they won't even sit in time out. They throw a big fit and end up throwing toys and other things around. I'm also trying to potty train them. Please help!

[@alextorres990]

Just Me If they start throwing stuff and making the environment an unsafe place for the other students, I would tell them "Uh-oh where are our gentle hands? FIRST gentle hand THEN *insert something the child likes here*". If they still don't listen I would take them out of the environment, to a safe place just outside the work area that you can still see the child, put a timer on and say "okay you have *appropriate time for the child's age* to calm down in time out. I'll be back when the timer goes off". If the child is still acting up I would just ignore them. Show them that, that king of behavior won't get them what they want. To discourage other kids from following the deviated behavior of the child, praise the other kids on every little good behavior you see. "Wow look at how Susy is focusing on her work! She's using her super concentration skills to get the job done. That's awesome! Here's a sticker Susy!"

[@hbk3119]

Just Me - Also when the video said get in their line of sight, it means exactly that. Usually disruptions start with one kid, get down to their level and give clear instruction, get confirmation .....etc. I find the getting down to their level helps.

[@BonnieandTomLiotta]

I know exactly how you feel, parents/teachers who have hired me in the past felt the exact same way before they found out WHY I teach children by principles. Can you open your mind to this thought? Principle #1 Know Your Role as a Parent/Teacher. My job is to do everything for them at birth/first with the sole purpose of passing on all Missing Life Skills over time so the child can do it all on their own and don't need me any more. It is this thought that makes you realize the childhood games of Follow the leader, Simon Says, Monkey See Monkey Do, Eye Spy and Hide N Go Seek just to name a few allowed me to guide their young spirits to learning how to attain what is important to them vs punish them when they don't do what I wanted them to do and believe this is somehow operating with the laws of nature. Think of things you want them to do as Missing Life Skills/Action steps to guide them on reaching what is a GOAL/Reward for them in their eyes. Principle #2 Kid's Brain vs Adult's Brain believes we can go back to our childhood but a child has no way to fast forward to an adults world. So it would be like the definition of insanity believing that by telling them over and over they would understand what it would be like to be a teacher/parent who has kids, right? Add the 3rd element of Principle #3 Creating the Right Environment where they see you as the one who can teach them how the world works and you would be willing to let them struggle by guiding, not overcompensating, their thinking so they can play the game of opposites in a way that all obstacles can be turned into opportunities like a game and/or puzzle. Better known as Perseverance and Self Control to obtain their goal, also Missing Life Skills. It was this way of thinking that allowed me to take all the kids who were kicked out of other daycares for bad behaviour and Create Champions for Life in our licensed after school Martial Arts Day Care. Because at the end of the day, the children were just missing the necessary life skills to create what they wanted in life and the only thing they knew how to make it show up for themselves was an outdated cry that has yet to be upgraded with Missing Life Skills. Once you see and believe this time tested truth you too can Raise Healthy, Happy, Cooperative Kids. If you want to learn more about what we are doing visit learntospeakkid.com

[@rosieelliott9338]

Can you make a video about how to tell between an attitude and not an attitude because my mom always thinks I have an attitude and I am just so confused. Earlier I was behind her and I huffed and she thought I had an attitude but I held my breath in for a long time.

[@gaerinraj2336]

You are right n she is wrong. Nothing wrong huffing.

[@angelpuwo2265]

That true

[@sordidloam]

Any suggestions for Neural diverse children?

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Have you tried these tips, we work with kids at our daycare who are neural diverse and we apply these tips, except for the steps. You may have to be more consistent a long period of time but they will get it.

[@sisiyahmorefyah8672]

I got into my daughters face because she was acting out while I was tryna quickly grocery shop and she told me my breath stink REALLY LOUD !!!!

[@arwenrosalie3031]

I can be in my kid's face he laughs and smiles We have serious talks with him both parents he cries then but as soon as hes awsy he stsrts misbehaving. I scream I yell I cant do it anymore I ignore him I cover his basic needs but I drive him away from me this is extreme now.

[@aloraxiebuilds]

My brother doesn’t listen to me when I ask him to do something he looks at me but I have to ask several times before he does something it’s so annoying

[@ibrahimabuzeid5934]

good morning. please. I want to teach a two - year - old child shapes and fruits in English and Arabic. Are there books I have in Oxford like what I mentioned to you? Thank you

[@abirmahmud1895]

Ibrahim Abuzeid you can buy cards with fruit pictures and the name not only fruit but animals shapes etc on whs smith or online this are the english ones I know I exist I arabic as well look online you will find it

[@myngyng3723]

I have twin little brothers and they're turning 11. Just imagine the chaos everyday. My mom and I, are so stressed with them because they're not listening 😢😢😢 I don't know what to do.

[@rik-keymusic160]

How well do patents listen to their child?! Children mirror their surroundings so most of the time it tels something about the parent’s behavior actually! And i don’t mean listening because its appropriate to do so but because They genuinely are interested in what their child loves to talk about …

[@SAM-zz8zn]

Check my new video "Cute animals" and enjoy 4 minutes of relax! 💭 👉 kzbin.info/www/bejne/m33YnZqPbt6tjKc

[@nitins1124]

My 9 yrs child donot want to write what should I do, and donot want to listen anymore, I have tried everything

[@marclabrie6027]

Spanking needed

[@onebaddstudd1422]

Dana..ur hair looks awesome.!👌 So coffee and deep conversation next week? What's up?!" I have no problem with a lunch date with a beautiful girl who can teach me how to be an even better parent to my daughter..

[@daisyhernandez372]

Hello Dana, I do feel I have done what you just advised, I have a 16 year that gets in trouble constantly for not doing simple chores around the house, she keeps making the same mistakes even though her actions end up having consequences, up to this point I don't know what to do anymore.😔

[@_vakas]

Can I have her insta lmao

[@srinidhibr803]

Good content

[@ag6287]

Please help my classroom of 2 years old (there is usually around 6 kids) they don’t listen to me, they start running around and they start throwing toys and ripping things off the wall. Help !!

[@sanahussain2832]

looks like I'm on the right path

[@denkennethcaranza3469]

Not even a parent, just tasked by my mother to teach my lil bro and landed here

[@Susq15]

If the child refuses to go into time out, what is the consequence?

[@omerrr09]

I thought of the same, and some times wonder if that kind of professionals really deal with any child.

[@tayoriginal4067]

Place them in time out yourself and if they get up continue to place them back in time out and restart the time. It can be frustrating at first but eventually they learn that if they do it the first time, it gives them more time to play and not be stuck in time out

[@meaganhiller3029]

I was wondering the same. I am past this part with my kids. They’re starting to become physical with me. I’m just burnt out, and cannot wait for school to start. If I cannot keep my kids busy every waking moment they fight with each other

[@singalingalongaling]

Keep placing him or her back until they stay put.

[@elizabethjose7011]

My kid is 3 years old .He started going to pre-school a month back .He doesn't listen to me now .He keeps repeating whatever I tell him to do and doesn't do things on his own .We then tell him strictly to do something and he starts shouting loudly.Please suggest further .

[@arianavalenzuela1788]

Watching this while my 5 year old is on timeout in another room and he is screaming "I can hear everything, don't forget to like her video and subscribe". I will try her tip about getting in the face of my son because today I screamed from another room and he did not obey me.

[@FiveisGrace]

Wow. He needs another method. I'll just leave it at that.

[@arianavalenzuela1788]

@@FiveisGrace as he grows up he does need other methods. He is 5 so it's normal for him to react how he does. I always make sure to educate myself and educate him, talk to him and show him how to control his emotions. Thank you for comment.

[@fefecrow]

No there is a huge difference between hearing someone and listening

[@AnomynousReviews]

my son is 3 yrs old he never listen to wear his shoes so kindly suggest me how to deal with this

[@al-jmely-9696]

﴿وَالعادِياتِ ضَبحًا﴾ [العاديات: ١] By the racers, panting, - Saheeh International ﴿فَالمورِياتِ قَدحًا﴾ [العاديات: ٢] And the producers of sparks [when] striking - Saheeh International ﴿فَالمُغيراتِ صُبحًا﴾ [العاديات: ٣] And the chargers at dawn, - Saheeh International ﴿فَأَثَرنَ بِهِ نَقعًا﴾ [العاديات: ٤] Stirring up thereby [clouds of] dust, - Saheeh International ﴿فَوَسَطنَ بِهِ جَمعًا﴾ [العاديات: ٥] Arriving thereby in the center collectively, - Saheeh International ﴿إِنَّ الإِنسانَ لِرَبِّهِ لَكَنودٌ﴾ [العاديات: ٦] Indeed mankind, to his Lord, is ungrateful. - Saheeh International ﴿وَإِنَّهُ عَلى ذلِكَ لَشَهيدٌ﴾ [العاديات: ٧] And indeed, he is to that a witness. - Saheeh International ﴿وَإِنَّهُ لِحُبِّ الخَيرِ لَشَديدٌ﴾ [العاديات: ٨] And indeed he is, in love of wealth, intense. - Saheeh International ﴿أَفَلا يَعلَمُ إِذا بُعثِرَ ما فِي القُبورِ﴾ [العاديات: ٩] But does he not know that when the contents of the graves are scattered - Saheeh International ﴿وَحُصِّلَ ما فِي الصُّدورِ﴾ [العاديات: ١٠] And that within the breasts is obtained, - Saheeh International ﴿إِنَّ رَبَّهُم بِهِم يَومَئِذٍ لَخَبيرٌ﴾ [العاديات: ١١] Indeed, their Lord with them, that Day, is [fully] Aware. - Saheeh International

[@venusbeautygirl]

What if they don't listen even after you get down at their eye level and then they talk back to you

[@fatousene1940]

What did you end up doing? Because that’s how my 2 year old is right now

[@cuddlesxyz]

I have never had kids but im here because of my boyfriend who plays video games... im seriously on the verge of leaving him. Anyone that is able to listen to me for a second would steal me in a heartbeat at this rate

[@dakotamabry1645]

Well uhm if your still having the same problem and have tried communicating with him and you still feel you cant connect with him in some way I believe you should leave . Both me and my husband both play video games so I understand it can be abit addicting , have you tried taking an interest in what hes playing- maybe ask to play the same game together ? I had an ex that was very absorbed in shooters and he would teach me how to play and showing me ways and strategies to play the game .. if the games are story driven its sometimes fun to share it with your significant other .. I shared horror games with my husband .. any ways good luck

[@venusbeautygirl]

What about if the time out doesn't work for them. Whenever I try to put him on time out he gets agressive and he gets out of the area where he supposed be on time out

[@thelordofthetube01]

chores, meditation, denying treats. repeating the lessons til they learn. asking them to repeat it the lessons, remind them a next day, or at an appropriate time.

[@wapangjr8526]

ts s soooo helpful... thnk u so much..

[@dennisbland6559]

I've got an 8 and 5 year old son and I'm doing it ALONE. I am loosing my mind with them teaming up on me and neither one of them will listen. I literally whoop their ass to get them to go to bed nearly every night because I'm too exhausted to go in there literally 20 times or fall asleep with them awake. I don't like to whoop them obviously but it's the only thing that gets their attention. Time out is not an option and taking things from them doesn't work. I'm open ears .

[@marclabrie6027]

If that works out then your doing a good job

[@lovejones1897]

How are things now dennis?

[@dennisbland6559]

@@lovejones1897 absolutely amazing, family is back together, less whippings and more fun all the way around.

[@lovejones1897]

@@dennisbland6559 they are older now I know so they may have grown out it. I'm a single mom I know I have to tough and loving as well. It's all about balance.