Smack Talk: Rogue One Review

Professor Tosspot takes on Disney's Rogue One and KZbin's copyright algorithm in his latest review.
Enjoy!
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[@Incessuserro]

"...and even a Jew." Shows lizard creature. Outstanding!

[@TheCountofToulouse]

That cracked me up, too!

[@Psycorde]

Watching these I always scroll through the comments when he drops a joke like this, to see if others were just as impressed as I was

[@shadowsift]

hahahaha

[@straightfromtheinkwell2520]

I did not get it me so dumb

[@ksoundkaiju9256]

Straight from the inkwell Raptor Jesus

[@samadams2203]

You're a hidden gem sir. May your shiny be discovered.

[@orbaitv5991]

I hope not

[@ToddKeck98]

In the future, no. You might not want that.

[@Unchainedmaple888]

lol the gag at the very end with disney and a gun pointed at the puppet is literally what happened to mark hamill for publicly criticizing the last jedi

[@NightMotorcyclist]

at least it gave us some comedy in return by way of a grumpy old puppet. "Faded away like a hot fart"

[@charles2241]

Yet another aspect of the Star Wars theme of "history repeats" repeating.

[@MrPGC137]

Yeah, really... Now we understand that glassy-eyed stare Mark had in the public-appearances: It was the look of someone being held hostage!

[@TrixiLovesYou]

Now everyone got what it feels like to sell out and get sold out in public.

[@basquat76]

Probably not literally.

[@susiechugg6216]

"I've noticed that they like to hire actresses with posh accents and no gag reflex." Whenever you upload a film review, my dark day automatically brightens! PS. Getting blue-balled by Mickey Mouse sounds painful and disconcerting.

[@AvengerII]

No, no, no --- They had to go down on GOOFY.

[@insensitive919]

@@AvengerII At least Goofy hates commies.

[@AvengerII]

@@insensitive919 Goofy's a good boy. He's man's best friend after all! A little slow but at least he's isn't a rat!

[@LukeLovesRose]

LMAO. How did Daisy get the role of Rey??? Hmmm.....

[@benmasta5814]

you're never too young... to have a vietnam flashback....

[@nicosmind3]

*Whispers* Wonder Showzen....

[@redhood7650]

@@nicosmind3 the legendary bloat fly in New Vegas

[@theatheisthammer]

Sure that's not a Vietnamese BAREBACK👍

[@insensitive919]

You get banned too?

[@TidusplZUO]

I burst out with laughter when "It ain't me" started playing, good job

[@razvanconstantin740]

Fortunate son ... That's the name of the song

[@rotekampfflieger-dr.I]

@@razvanconstantin740 These new generations will never know what bleeding out in a rice paddy will feel like, damn shame that.

[@razvanconstantin740]

@@rotekampfflieger-dr.I you're damned right Mr Red Baron

[@TokyoXtreme]

"Captain Jose Gonzales"

[@kabukiwookie]

When I saw that, I was thinking "Commander Juan Valdez" and "Quip-bot three thousand" made me laugh. I can't watch the movie in the same way anymore... Ive been ruined by Professor Tosspot..

[@shoeflytoo]

The only way it could only have been better if it was Captain Jose Cuervo.

[@05017351]

"Posh accents and no gag reflex!"

[@AvengerII]

In the 1960s, the character would have been renamed "Jose Jimenez, reluctant Rebel."

[@tommyodonovan3883]

AKA Speedy.

[@TokyoXtreme]

Life imitating art, with Emilia Clarke legit being cast in the Han Solo standalone film 😂

[@wesleywarsmith1113]

TokyoXtreme Aaahhh, your Icon is a SLAYER! NICE

[@BungieStudios]

I'm probably the only one who truly knows what you are.

[@afti03]

MATE, i really have to say, after just two days of discovering your channel, i am delighted with the quality of these jokes and the sheer amount of brilliance. TOP NOTCH mate, just top notch stuff

[@shaundaly1134]

OMG I really really want to see the original cut of Rogue One.

[@ZenPunk]

Me too. I wonder if the footage still exists somewhere.

[@michaelstrank1919]

It cause me a lot of lives but I have it, Disney is trying to kill me for it.

[@richardvernon317]

I think most of the reshoots were to kill the characters off, and put Vader in at the end.

[@davidjames579]

Zef Punk Maybe a small band of rebels could mount a daring mission to liberate it from the Disney Vault

[@willowwithin]

I'd sign up for that, the lack of deleted scenes being released is... odd.

[@jonjordan7189]

The jokes, the inflection, the editing... and the puppet!!.. these videos are awesome

[@bjarmstrong4855]

Amazing! I completely lost it at 'little Timmy Dipshit'!!

[@D.IronsWorld]

Haha right? right? Professor Tosspot is a wanker and I like it :D

[@strix4667]

I actually like Rogue One, at least it's way better than The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi garbage.

[@Sonofdonald2024]

After the original trilogy it's certainly the next best film. I enjoyed it

[@hauntedhouse7827]

True but you are setting the bar pretty low.

[@andrewdevine3920]

It's shit.

[@bluntguy9532]

Darth Vader's light saber hissy fit at the end was the only thing that made it interesting in the long term.

[@laserdemonfrostmage8421]

That’s a low bar buddy

[@danielclark-hughes692]

"...and I hope Disney haven't blackballed you for showing the kiddies a Star Wars snuff film." 😄

[@myview5840]

Classic young ones quote. speaking to Bambi, the host of "University Challenge" Vyvyan: I liked the part where you shoved the drill in the virgin otter's face. Neil: That wasn't in BAMBI, Vyvyan. Vyvyan: It was in the sequel, "Bambi Goes Crazy Ape Bonkers with his Drill and Sex" Neil: Is that true Bambi? Did you do a Disney Nasty?

[@cloroxusthestainlessone4324]

@@myview5840 rah rah rah we're going to smash the oiks

[@BLY99]

Anakin wasn't a school shooter...................... He was a school stabber.

[@1ynx]

Lucas was a true marketing visionary, pandering to the Chinese market years before the big studio executives realised it's potential.

[@collegerebel]

BoloYung OMG! 😂😂😂😂

[@radkonpsygami7634]

So we should ban light sabers now and piss off several hundred million nerds worldwide

[@thekinkypinkies7437]

Ban assault sabers

[@IllicitGreen]

a jedi would never allow sabers to be banned. they make their own anyway.

[@Tenso761]

Truly an underrated channel , keep up the good work Prof.Tosspot!

[@Pynaegan]

As a life long Star Wars fan... I'm boycotting "Solo".

[@intruder313]

Same. And Ep9. Solo is a already a big mess of Director changes, reshoots and emergency acting coaches. Ep9 might well be good, but I'm totally uninterested after Ep8 ruined the trilogy and indeed this new Star Wars. I'll need solid convincing by friends before I give Disney money to see for myself.

[@jeffpoyner7761]

Fucktard!! that was an awesome movie!!

[@ComeOnIsSuchAJoy]

@@intruder313 The new trilogy was ruined the moment they threw out most of Lucas' actual VII-IX storyline and replaced it with shitty fanfic and a collection of painfully self-aware winks to moments from the OT. : P

[@StillAtMyMoms]

Even a Jew. LMAO. Have to admit the finale battle was well done, though.

[@mackenziewhethers1257]

I died at that part!

[@toaonua523]

Visually yeah, but it made no sense in the context of the rebellion or episode 4. An army that size would have made more sense for a prequel to episode 6.

[@timc9806]

Oh mate that was one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. And I'm Jewish. Absolutely brilliant.

[@patricklush4363]

While ever so slightly entertaining, it was just a re-skin of the Battle of Endor.

[@richardvernon317]

+Toa Onua Oh Dear, it makes no sense in the context in episode 4??? WTF. Pay attention in Ep4, right at the start of the Imperial senior officers conference, Don Henderson (don't know the name of the character), clearly states that the Alliance are too well equipped, which means they have very good equipment and a sizable amount of it. They don't use it in the Death Star battle as the station is designed to defeat attacks from large ships.

[@alchemispark7751]

I dont care what people say about this Film it's clearly the best disney starwars Film and for me one of the best starwars Films, this is somewhat because i love the Things that were made cannon in this, -death troopers -u wings -hover tanks -The fact that the crates used to transport kyber crystals were Orange added some much needed colour to the empire -imperial security droids -scarif -shoretroopers -The fact that the rebels looked really ragtag Sure that doesnt mean that the Film is good but These things matter to me (this doesnt mean I dont also enjoy watching the Film I just wanted to offer this fairly niche Perspective and now im too lazy to add more) Also I love the more gritty Look

[@andrewmarshall4604]

Emelia Clarke has no gag reflex? Wow I like her as an actress even more!

[@davidjames579]

I heard she goes deep for a part

[@BlacKnightRising]

well that explains why she keeps getting work....

[@lund5869]

I'd give her an audition

[@rhinehard206]

Those bounty hunter comments had me literally crying man. Never stop!

[@miked5803]

They're hilarious

[@thatguyoverthere468]

I have no words for these glorious reviews

[@TB-ih7bg]

These reviews are hilarious and really well made. How have I not seen these before?

[@karlkarlos3545]

Who gives a fuck how dark it is? My stool is dark and doctor says it's bad sign.

[@battletoads22]

I don't know why he thinks he knows so much about interior decorating.

[@ClassicLegoCinema]

Appreciate the Dredd soundtrack backdrop.

[@simonfarrell6585]

Not many you tubers can make me LOL before they've even started talking! Very enjoyable

[@Eric-qo8vv]

I’ve seen all of Paul’s Smack talk episodes over and over and still giggle let’s support Paul during this time of hardship for him and his family

[@CheeseyMac01]

Please don't ever stop shitting on bad things people think are good

[@engineerzerochannel]

My dear Satan, I'm afraid there's not enough shit in the world to shit on all the bad things people think are good.

[@MrPGC137]

True; the best alternative therefore is to focus on the most-prominent, high-profile & vastly-oversold shit, and SW definitely falls into that category...

[@PauloPereira-hk9nw]

Can't shit on what's already shit. All you can do is try to take the noseplugs out of people's noses.

[@MrPGC137]

Well put, sir! I'll have to remember that one!

[@kabukiwookie]

I subbed. WHY DOES THIS REVIEW, ALONG WITH OTHERS NOT HAVE MILLIONS OF VIEWS????

[@morscoronam3779]

I've watched every Smack Talk at least twice and made it a point to like every comment in hopes it bumps them up on Google's algorithm. Honestly, the lack of views is probably from the language. Pretty sure they're all age restricted to some degree.

[@Noone-of-your-Business]

Yeah, China. Episode VIII bombed so hard in China that it was pulled from theaters after less than a month. I hope Disney bleed so bad for the new trilogy that they are forced to change course.

[@ProtoPropski]

None of your Business It's Disney they'll probably release a shitty TV series, or another Battlefuck game, and if those don't succeed they'll just refuse to use the IP with anything more then All inclusive Action Figures of Black Luke, and Pink Darth Vadar... TBH they have enough money to ruin Star Wars, and not give a fuck else about it, it's just another IP they can suck dry like EA does Game Studios

[@jackness9431]

Proto Propski fuck, that's sad

[@Vihara2]

It grossed well over a billion, it'll make money, they can only profit from it once its released forever, sadly.

[@redhood7650]

@@ProtoPropski oh this is ironic. Mandalorian and Jedi fallen order are masterpieces

[@mongoslade5248]

Episode VIII bombed so hard in China that China thought they were Japan. What? Too soon?

[@meggrotte4760]

Every time I watch the ending I just start laughing. I don't know what's more funny the singing or the gun with the professor wearing the mouse ears

[@DonGonTheOne]

Love your Intro and Ending!

[@ANJIN79SAMMA]

How has this channel not got at least 1 million subscribers ? Everything is pure gold!!’ Keep up the good work professor!

[@VoxisProductions]

That's very kind of you =)

[@Herowebcomics]

"I've been too harsh on Disney,Go buy some Star wars stuff, and don't forget, episode 8 is coming out soo- HELP! SOMEBODY HEL-"[Gun shot!] This was so much fun!

[@bonnie1020a]

It's not gay to say Mads is sexy He was voted Sexiest Man in Denmark, so it's objective fact

[@VoxisProductions]

Phew!

[@ArrowValley]

How have I never heard of this channel? Brilliant content and I can't stop binge watching.

[@mudbutton2]

The Last Jedi makes Rogue One look like a fucking masterpiece

[@daustin8888]

The Last Jedi makes sewage look like a masterpiece

[@SubvertHQSG]

I just want to say thank you. Been having a rough time lately, your page has been a godsend and I am a less moody git because of it. Finished all your videos in one day, trust me when I say that you need to keep it coming - haven't laughed this hard in ages. PS: Best regards to the Professor.

[@Ciborium]

British: *Burns down White House* America: "Dude! Uncool." British: "Just a prank, bro. Here's some 'Downton Abbey'." America: "Sweet!"

[@shanewilliams3165]

By far, the funniest, least PC and best performing Star Wars reviewer in the interweb!

[@darkestfugue]

god damn, why havent i found you earlier, absolutely brilliant work

[@johnboltonsmustache3014]

Finally found someone that's Right up there with plinkett. Awesome 😎

[@bothersomebertie1195]

Yes! I want a pizza roll!

[@lars1701again]

Shame he has sold out and not blasted TLJ for the utter crap it is

[@Hirnlego999]

@@lars1701again What? Plinkett says he might even sit the next one out. That's not saying the movie is good..

[@Psilocybin77]

@@lars1701again A little late I know but they did so on their second channel in a brilliant video essay called "The Last Straw".

[@cainabel6356]

I love the hostage ending part. Made me laugh.

[@tribalbeat6471]

It's a tragedy you don't have as many viewers as you deserve.

[@VoxisProductions]

;_; Indeed. However, I do appreciate the viewers I do have and don't see people as just numbers. As long as people watch my stuff and enjoy it then I've done my part. Whether that's 100 people or 100,000, it's doesn't matter. I don't monetize and I don't feel like I should be asking for money. It would help to boost production values but I try and do that by myself with editing and working jobs to buy better equipment. Thanks for watching my videos. I like my viewers =)

[@tribalbeat6471]

You should consider replacing Professor Tosspot with Dakimakura-Senpai.

[@ARCtrooperblueleader]

@Voxis Productions - You are a blessing to humanity.

[@kylestephens4133]

Late to the party, but..."Captain Jose Gonzales and Quipbot 3000" floored me

[@milkshake26M]

So glad I found you via yesterday's drinker stream. Been going through your videos and laughing my ass for two hours straight. Thanks so much for sharing these videos. Hope you make more reviews!

[@frankydawgk3640]

Rogue one had some amazing potential as far as an emotional journey.. i would have liked to see how bleak it was, they are supposed to be setting up 'a new hope' so they could have gone deeper into the dark for the good guys to show the David v goliath story it was.

[@CinematicSeriesGaming]

This movie is not a masterpiece by all means but I think it's definitely the best since Disney took over. Way better than Rey trilogy and Solo.

[@BigOlWookie]

Holy crap I'm so glad I found this channel and more specifically, this video. Keep up the great work!

[@Borgforce]

I’m so happy I got this channel on my feed - instantly subscribed!

[@punisherprime]

You deserve your own show on TV, so talented!

[@beeman2075]

VP, I've just discovered your channel. Your review videos are fantastic. Looking forward to hopefully seeing some new uploads from you soon. Hope you are in good health currently, and greetings from Australia.

[@VoxisProductions]

Greetings. Sorry about the emu war.

[@tobuslieven]

This stuff is brilliant. Instantly one of my favorite KZbin channels. Happy Christmas!

[@thetelegothika5327]

Whenever I'm feeling down, I just play the Vietnam bit from 9:50 - 10:12 and i'm instantly laughing. Absolute gold! The Terror review's "instead we get this..." montage is also fackin' hilarious.

[@boggyre5048]

Your channel is a goldmine You are seriously underrated

[@VoxisProductions]

Thank you :3

[@devonmack441]

probably would have been twice as good if disney hacks had left it as Gareth original cut.

[@Predator19344556]

The part with the Vietnam music and real war action had me gasping for air XD XD.

[@ChrisParlett]

Jesus, I'm back watching this and it's been three years and you're as beautiful and on point as ever. (and as)

[@whitehawk3776]

“Little Timmy dipshit” lol. Awesome.

[@caillustration]

This is so well done, why am I just finding this?

[@ryantaulbee2951]

You are our only hope. Please keep these videos up.

[@morscoronam3779]

That outro skit before the credits... Spot on. 👍😄

[@simvlacrvm]

"and even a jew" subscribed.

[@zefiro6829]

I saw this at a cinema with my dad and brother. I remember being so confused when Moff Tarkin showed up, 'cause I didn't know it was a prequel.

[@Terenin]

And now I want to go see Dredd 2012 again. Thanks.

[@popularculture2890]

DUDE OMG your spliced version of saving private jedi was fucking amazing with ccr in the background too. FUCK YES! that is the star wars action i want but with John Williams lol.

[@graveyardshiftfilms2076]

The genius opening crawl followed by "reluctant card board heroin", "Captain Jose Gonzales", "Quipbot 3000", "meeting the diversity quota" & the "Little Timmy Dipshit"!!!...This is comedy GOLD! Brilliant, insightful, non-PC, sincere, bold & insanely hilarious! Prof. Tosspot strikes again!

[@gordonfreeman3676]

Love your vids. Mumkey sent me over. Wish I was famous myself so I could share all this to my fans, til then hope my fb friends like you.

[@Ezpazmic]

That 'Fortunate Son' part was epic! You're a genius!

[@zenhaelcero8481]

5:09 - "Allahu Akbar!" *Starship crashes, explodes* Subscribed, you magnificent bastard.

[@ToriRocksAmos]

10:00 I would pay to see the original cut of the movie if it's anything like Apocalypse now meets star wars.

[@justsomewitcherwithalongsw4233]

Love that intro! I didn’t watch the film at theaters, I had bought it months later after being convinced from friends and family to watch it. I seriously had to rewind the beginning to make sure that I didn’t miss the scrolling text, but couldn’t find it. Somebody forgot to add that? It’s like Lotr without the One Ring, just saying. But honestly though, the film gave me nostalgic feelings of my childhood to adulthood of knowing Star Wars and its EU. That’s about as good of a compliment as I can giive it.

[@danielanderson3286]

I love the ending I gotta share this. Another excellent review

[@wwmandalore]

That opening crawl. Beautiful.

[@Maky313]

You are amazeballs.

[@NesmerII]

Great fucking review as usual. One thing these new SW movies really need is some actual acting talent. With a company as huge a Disney, I have no idea why they keep casting these literally whos as their main protagonists. Take Rougue One; When a Mo-capped CGI gestalt in the likeness of an actor who has been dead for over a decade is the most engrossing character on screen, you have a fucking casting problem. Tarkin had far and away the most memorable performance/character presence. Meanwhile Krennic fumbled his way through the movie getting increasingly ass-blasted. Same goes for the salvaged assets of Red and Gold leader - more entertaining than anything the main cast had to say. Blue Leader was pretty damn based too, but unsurprisingly they completely wasted his potential. And the soundtrack, particularly the leitmotiffs during the space battle, were absolutely awful and sounded like something out of a Marvel movie. Still better than E7. Keep up the great work!

[@WMan37]

I think hiring actual talent would be a waste of money. I mean, we can assume that Gareth Edwards is actually "talented" based on what's left of the original vision he had for the movie, but if Disney is just gonna butcher shit because it doesn't fit their corporate vision of what they want star wars to be, there is no point in hiring talented people if they won't, you know, _let them use their fucking talents._ There's no point in consuming star wars media anymore; It's ground fully tread and analyzed at this point. For example: You've already seen the original trilogy competently made, and then you've seen how bad it can get both from a "I may have gone a little far in too places" standpoint to a "We can't go too far otherwise we'd alienate a potential fanbase" standpoint. This is prevalent even in the video games based on star wars. The Dark Forces series was fucking awesome, but then you had the old republic and everything surrounding that game.

[@SPTX.]

WMan37, I really felt alone about KOTOR being overrated. Thank you.

[@TokyoXtreme]

NesmerII Rogue One had the award-winning, critically acclaimed Forest Whitaker though! ...for all of about three minutes 😤

[@RuneForumwalker]

Acting talent? Sure that would help, but more than that they need more time to go over scripts. Then let the director make their damn movie and release it. There should be 3-5 years between each movie.

[@ViceAdmiralHoratioNeIson]

Totally agree with what you said about the soundtrack. It sounded like the music that would be used in a Star Wars fan-film, sounding *like* Star Wars, but slightly and annoyingly different enough to not get a copyright notice from John Williams.

[@prismaticbeetle3194]

the dark music bit at the end was fitting

[@nurgle11]

Love the ending Tosspot. I would have loved to see the original Gareth Edwards cut.

[@montengro234]

Great video, part of me hopes you never get more popular because I know that with popularity content generally goes to shit for production values Always stay cheap you beautiful old British man

[@chesterstevens8870]

Waldorf? What happened to Statler?! No, but seriously, loving the channel. Anyone who takes the piss out of Emelia Clarke is a good guy in my book.

[@Tienhamir100]

Omfg I lost it when you did the little Timmy Dipshit shtick. XD

[@arjuna207]

man this channel deserves more subs

[@VincitOmniaVeritas7]

It’s been six years and only now Gareth Edwards is directing another movie. Disney put him in the shelf for sure.

[@Zobbster]

This has just become my favourite review of Rogue One.

[@jasonjordan9101]

LMAO! The last few seconds is the best part of this whole awesome chicanery.

[@mrpj1390]

I'm surprised he didn't speak on the Vader hallway scene. That was the best piece of live action Star Wars that Disney has made so far!

[@taketheredpill1452]

the professor is a national treasure.

[@souravsarkar4760]

this channel's da bomb!

[@davidhaaijema4521]

tbh I like Rogue One for it's story, but the characters where just not memorable, the only thing that really stuck with me was the hole Darth Vader killing rebels, it added to the persona of Darth and why people where terrified of him. Wish they would have made it more dark, it makes it interesting. PS. No, they don't real in the actual fanboys, they play purely on nostalgia and shit all over the actual fans that where once invested in the Extended Universe, which has been retconned into shit to appease the broader base you where talking about while trying to keep the ionic things they THINK they can still appease me with in there not realizing it's either the hole universe or none of it.

[@LabrnMystic]

Yes, I did read the scroll. I appreciate it. people have done the title card, but no one that I've watched has bothered with the text crawl. Keep up the good work, you lovable curmudgeon.

[@chriscappio8930]

Just found this guy...he’s hilarious

[@mikespearwood3914]

fucking brilliant! that disney hostage blackmail footage at the end was just gold!

[@potatius6421]

Jesus christ the scene at around the 10 min mark was AMAZING!

[@maestro7058]

THE RESISTANCE IS STRONG WITH YOU VOXIS OMFG MAN I LOVE YOU!

[@TheREALSimagination]

Him humming the Star Wars themew reminds me of Peter doing the same to the battle theme while shooting actual Tai Fighters (yes, according to the show Blue Harvest, that is what they are) aboard the Millennium Falcon. Priceless piece of dumb fun.

[@FiliusFidelis]

Loved the opening crawl :) Rogue One (have to watch that spelling, tends to en up as rouge) has plenty of issues, but it is still hands down the best of the lot to come off the Disney assembly line.

[@koppsr]

When you have to stop the text scroll everx five seconds, because you're laughing to hard to read properly 😂 This channel NEEDS more subscribers!

[@cheezebag]

That gag at the end had me in stitches lmao 🤣. I will say I did like rogue one. It was different and the hero’s that we saw in the movie won but didn’t survive. It was a dark yet nice touch. Great review 👍

[@gerbilsmith]

Actually George Lucas stole the screen crawl opening from one of the 1940's Flash Gordon serials...

[@DB1Dragoon]

He didn't steal it at all text crawl has been around since silent films

[@RockRedGenesis]

As much as I do like Rogue One....Kyle Katarn stole the Death Star Plans...End Of! Also, subbed after watching your Terminator: Dark Stain review. Your like Arlo, with a potty mouth! Going through your previous reviews, you are funny and enjoyable!