Smack Talk: Star Wars The Force Awakens

Hey guys, I'm late to the party!
Originally meant to be finished and released months ago, this video was put on hold due to many projects running at the time.
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[@clintholmes2061]

This channel is criminally underappreciated.

[@chrisperrien7055]

Get the word out. I do. since about 4K subs :)

[@clintholmes2061]

@@chrisperrien7055 I would but no one cares what I think anyway.

[@insensitive919]

'Tis.

[@pbrecipe2443]

you’re under arrest

[@luizpalombini3425]

*Rey is a Mary Sue List - Did I miss anything?* - Overpowered - Unexplained Power Level - Perfectly Good - No Personality - Instantly Liked - Feels Like Wish Fulfilment - Not Embarrassed/Fails Independent woman who lives by herself in a dessert planet. No parenting needed Professional scavenger Lives quite happily by herself She is quite hopefull despite living as a slave for all her life Can fight 2 men easily with no help required Helps a strange robot twice for no reason Helps Fin, another stranger Helps Han Solo Helps Leia Helps Kylo ( even after she saw him kill Han Solo ) Helps Luke Speaks fluent Robot Speaks fluent Wookie Instant best friends with *ALL OF THE CHARACTERS* including Kylo and Snoke ( everybody likes her instantly for no reason ) Knows how to pilot a ship on her first try ( "I can do this, I can do this" )better than trained Tie fighter pilots. Knows mechanic more than Han and Chewie Knows how to use the Force pull *WITHOUT ANY TRAINNING* Knows how to use a lightsaber Knows how to use mind control Beats Kylo Ren in a mind probe fight Beats Kylo Ren in a physical fight Beats Kylo Ren in a moral fight Beats Luke ( a fully trained jedi ) in a physical fight Beats Luke ( a jedi master ) in a moral fight Beats Snoke guards Is saved deux ex machina style twice at a moment were the hero should face his greatest challenge alone - Abbyss, Death and Return) Gives orders to Chewbacca ( two times war hero, old enough to be her grandfather) Gets to keep the millenium falcon ( #wookielivesmatter guys ) Moves millions of huge rocks out of the way Yoda kisses her ass for no reason Cave learning: she doesn´t need any parents. She is alone and thats is ok. All she needs is herself. Knows everything that was on the sacrate Jedi books *( THAT SHE JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT IT )* No temptation nor fear to go to the Dark Side *( booooring )* All of this abilities except that she is extremely fragile, naive and immature.... *THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE !!!* *She is the worst character ever created.*

[@guitarguru.3572]

Maxx Kroes I never noticed that. Good catch. Makes you wonder how much more there is. I have a feeling that we will find out in episode 9 that she shits lasers. She will, no doubt, singlehandedly stomp a mud hole in the Emperor’s (the most powerful Sith ever) ass. Hell, why not? She has cheapened every other facet of Star Wars.

[@LumosX]

Post-ROS update: trains herself with a ridiculous regimen with input from a half-trained Leia; can read ancient sacred jedi texts; can pilot water vehicles in conditions too dangerous for locals despite being raised on a desert planet; can pilot Imperial tech through dangerous nebulae(?) relying on an ancient sith device; instantly liked by hostile smuggler thugs; instantly liked by hostile giant sand cave snakes; instantly liked by droids; can do force heal without exhausting herself; can force pull troop-filled transport ships with sufficient force to counter the thrust of their jet engines; can do force lightning; is a better pilot than Poe, the resistance's best pilot and combat veteran; is a literal princess; can force teleport objects through space. Anything else?

[@TheHulkbuster13]

@@homelessindividual But Starkiller was trained by Darth Vader for most of his life. Its not until episode 9 do we even see Ray actually train

[@firenze6478]

Can fly the falcon better than anyone despite never flying before, the falcon malfunctions and Han Solo freaks out like a moron while Rey instantly fixes it.

[@zefiro6829]

Heh. Dessert.

[@fexbio]

"... and five minutes later, hes fighting and killing people. What?!?" Made my day. LOL

[@matth1589]

At least we know what BB8 said now, finally her reaction makes sense.

[@ryanyvegaify]

I would have loved that to actually be in the movie

[@ninjanibba4259]

That was a female? What?

[@harrisonbeesonvo]

I love the use of Batman Beyond music for Kylo. Perfect.

[@XellDincht]

+Harrison Beeson i think its insulting to the cartoon series. Batman Beyond put afford to the world building and characters, Kylo, on the other hand, is just an angry fanboy having hissy fits. This music is simply to cool for him

[@Wargoat6]

ditto Han Solo lol

[@ihernandez4234]

Yes and no. Yes for just hearing it. No for tying it to Kylo Ren.

[@lastchance848]

Took me 20 minutes to remember that song

[@harrisonbeesonvo]

@@XellDincht dude, chill. I'm saying it's perfect in regards to trying to build kylo up as some emo kid like Terry was at the beginning of the series. Of course Batman Beyond did a better job world building; hell, pretty much everything back in the 90's did a better job. Just saying the edgy music fit the bill for someone TRYING to be edgy

[@MrKajithecat]

I'm done with Star Wars. Disney ruined it. The Last Jedi was the end for me.

[@generalzod7959]

MrKajithecat: rogue one was the end for me. I didn't even see last jedi. Won't see any more of the disney horseshit!

[@BessieRiggs]

I wanted to call it quits after TFA, but Rogue One intrigued me enough to rent it. I found it to be incredibly boring. I didn't give TLJ a second glance and don't intend to even rent it.

[@mimakos]

Ikr the prequels were better

[@daviscampbell9020]

It ended in the second trilogy for me & with the original trilogy.

[@The80sWolf_]

Force Awakens was enough for me to skip their films for all future. Now I saw Mandalorian, and its... ok. But so predictable and rehashes on nostalgia.

[@simonfarrell6585]

You've summed it up perfectly, such a missed opportunity

[@half_eaten.hooker]

Simon Farrell no

[@half_eaten.hooker]

Simon Farrell finn kills stormtrooper that try to kill him

[@half_eaten.hooker]

Gay

[@half_eaten.hooker]

Oh poop! You ok?

[@leradmuiel7634]

And more honestly.

[@Krautvault]

I hate to say this but this is better than the Plinkett review of TFA.

[@Panic985]

Indeed, this is far superior and more succinct.

[@Zimy0]

RLM jumped the shark, they already said they liked the movie but did the plinkett review because it would get views. It wasn't even really a review but punching down at the fans for 2 hours for daring to want a good star wars movie. What really blew my mind is that RLM has torn better movies to shreds, it's almost like they were paid by disney to go easy on it.

[@Shamino1]

It's because Plinkett didn't review TFA. He reviewed fan theories and discussions that happened years ago and no one cared about.

[@TehMarche]

RLM didn't even talk about TFA for most of the review.

[@hanburgundy4317]

RLM are washed-up "film-makers" who talk crap about movies for a living. They're not even Star Wars fans; they're Trekies that love making fun of Star Wars and SW fans. They convinced thousands of people to hate the Prequel Trilogy and George Lucas by taking things out of context and grossly misrepresenting the characters, events, and story of the films for a satirical laugh and people took them seriously and took those "reviews" as actual film critique. Ironically, we know get Disney Wars which are absolutely _not_ Star Wars because "everybody hates the Prequels" when those movies were just as good if not better than the OT.

[@STRING3R]

The world building in this movie was horrible. It doesn't explain shit as to what happened between episode 6 and 7.

[@B-dawg-mc6hm]

STRING3R Ep 8 didn't help either😂😂

[@labrynianrebel]

What's going on in this movie? Space Nazis Um... that doesn't explain anything

[@TacSon]

"And then suddenly...NAZI!" -Mark Hamill-

[@1977Yakko]

Yeah, the First Order is supposed to be a remnant of the Empire. But a shadow of their power. But in TFA and TLJ they make them seem like yet another galaxy conquering entity.

[@qweqqweq2090]

I done mind them not explaining shit, especially after having to be preeched to about mediclorians and Senate and trade politics in the prequels. Gimme a good story and the back story won't matter. Unfortunately they just copied a new hope with diversity hires.

[@faziduke2814]

This deserves at least a million views.

[@joevegaxv]

Practical effects will always have a place in my heart.

[@retrovisor]

But the practical effects weren't even important. They used them so poorly. They shoved this practical effects in the behind the scenes and most of the time they are background characters or "one-scene" things that happen in seconds. What was the point of making them practical then? To just get praise for using them? And the most on-screen practical effects had CGI enhancements. Even BB-8 is CGI enhanced (or even full CGI at times) Just goes to show you how much of an Inconsistent director J.J. Abrams is (He even let Poe Dameron live, instead of dying in Jakku, because he liked how he acted)

[@mikespearwood3914]

retrovisor in regards to the Poe Dameron thing, that's just nepotism.

[@aurorauplinks4703]

That's the trouble with practical effects, someone's always getting injured ...... (Is a joke, a very poor, sad lacking joke)

[@Сайтамен]

The Phantom Menace used more practical effects than TFA and even whole OT.

[@TheVagabond627]

@@Сайтамен that is a whole heap of bullshit

[@CaptainPositron]

I really dislike the prequels, but I have respect for them for what Lucas tried to do. This new "star wars" is an impostor just like the new star trek.

[@HeatherP419]

I hated the prequels, now I am hesitant to admit I feel an urge to watch them again out of nostalgia for pre-Disney SW and even more embarrassed to admit how much less they sucked than episodes 7 and 8. Eegads.

[@domehammer]

Prequels led to the star wars golden age of EU expansion. Was a great time to enjoy Star Wars. Shame it probably will be a dead franchise by 2020.

[@aroberts3213]

I love the prequals only because of the world building that Lucas did. The many different locations, characters, species, ships... etc. made it much more "real"

[@KneelB4Bacon]

I agree. The prequels . . . as badly-written as they were . . . at least told a story and the characters progressed.

[@ComeOnIsSuchAJoy]

The prequels at least had the heart and passion behind them, if not the skill and technique... whereas these new movies are all technique and skill with no passion or heart. Frankly, the simple employ of a more skilled screenwriter and more actor-friendly (co-?)director would've likely prevented at least 90% of the prequels' problems, if you ask me.

[@rcam217]

Smack Talk is the best. Perfect analysis of modern cinema today. An arrow straight to the heart of Hollywood and their cash grab antics. Please keep up the good work.

[@1977Yakko]

My thoughts too. It has quickly become one of my favorite review sources. When I discovered this channel, I pretty much did a marathon run of all the videos.

[@tlf361]

"The writer's extra chromosome kicked in"... LMAOO

[@gusty9053]

Can't believe how right you were. TLJ came along and proved that things turned out much worse than you feared or i could have imagined.

[@MrWill9002]

Followed by the garbage that's The Rise of Skywalker

[@viscountrainbows2857]

16 times the face melting

[@joeshep5104]

Met you in a mackscorner stream and you told me to check your channel, i'm not regretting anything.

[@Yusuf1187]

I remember thinking most of these things when TFA came out. But having now seen The last Jedi, TFA looks like a calm, well-paced, logically coherent, fun, well-scripted masterpiece with impressive and nuanced character development.

[@hassathunter2464]

Funny how that works eh? Also prequels for oscar in comparrison!

[@javierruiz9023]

Both are a piece of shit.

[@Edax_Royeaux]

I didn't. I didn't feel anything from TFA, because I already saw The Star Wars a few dozen times on VHS growing up as a kid, so watching the remake did nothing at all for me. With The Last Jedi, I felt something, just like when I watched the prequels. It was something new, I actually felt like talking about a Star Wars movie and debating with fans for the first time in years. I kind of like the prequels, I liked Lucas overall, and never bought into the Redlettermedia hate, even if I am a fan of their site, but there's something about these new movies that have an irritating corporate gloss over them, just like any other movie. Star Wars, 1 - 6 never felt like any other movie, good or bad, which is rightly why I was a fan.

[@Edax_Royeaux]

@NatarisX Ain't no one calling a remake painting of the Mona Lisa a "Masterpiece" just sure as hell no will will ever call The Force Awakens one for the exact same reasons. You can't even call TFA art, it's carbon paper, at the very least the Prequels were original art, even if they were flawed. All credit for the story coherency of TFA goes to George Lucas for writing A New Hope, since that's where the story originated from in TFA since it was copied beat for beat.

[@kalashnikovdevil]

Nataris X, TLJ is like a well done steak... that someone's taken a dump on and set on fire.

[@strategicperson95]

JJ Abrams IS the second Michael Bay.

[@ericshawn3169]

rosselliswilkinson don’t forget the mystery boxes

[@oddballskull1941]

He’s basically a living parody of Steven Spielberg

[@kendallnavstar]

*THANK YOU FOR MAKING THESE VIDEOS! PLEASE DON'T STOP!*

[@afti03]

I have nothing but love for your work and witty humour, Paul! ❤️

[@insensitive919]

Paul's just an intern, pray that he never takes control, he'd be worse than Andy.

[@Anonymous-sv9fy]

Fucking love Smack Talk. Keep up the great work

[@DanH34]

Every time Finn was on screen, I half expected him to go full minstrel and start bix-nooding at any second. It would almost be ironically funny if Disney hadn't made (and didn't continue to make) such a fuss about 'diversity'.

[@Shamino1]

I've been waiting all fucking year for a new Smack Talk. I hope your uni-work has been going well, because the internet needs more of you.

[@LimPehYujiItadori]

Man you deserve 100 times more subscribers.

[@ryanpatterson4012]

How does this channel not have over a million subscribers atleast this is my kind of comedy look forward to the show on the critical drinkers channel

[@davids736]

I keep saying the same thing! I can only think the reason being, you have to constantly be putting out new content to get the high subscriber numbers. You can have the best videos out there, but if you've only got a few of them, that won't equate to a lot of subscribers. Lots of views maybe, but not subs. Of course, I could be talking utter shite - but it's the only reason I can think of, because his videos are, dare I say it, even better than The Critical Drinkers (that's how I found this channel).

[@42kellys]

I actually agree with him.He is the first one, who mentions that the old ones had heart and this one has not and that the old ones had characters and this one has CGI and blown ups. This film was just plain unoriginal, flat and boring and it did not evengive me the feel of a Star Wars film, not even the nostalgy. Now, Rogue One brought it back and I suddenly felt like a 14 years old. It was a wonderful feeling and that meant so much.

[@OnlineEbola]

Fuck man, i am a harsh comedy critic but this dude is funny as hell. Catches me off guard all the time. Props

[@greshan7789]

that Come and See reference!

[@viperman240]

You need more subs then this man. Great video as always, with top notch production quality. 3:08 that segue though, love it.

[@theunmaskedninja]

Did no one else pick up the Batman beyond theme song for Kylo Ren?? 😂 loved it. So glad I stumbled upon this channel

[@brendonmaher1513]

Pure class...this channel deserves a lot more subs

[@HS-su3cf]

Didn't know Jar Jar Binks changed his last name to Abrams.

[@JustAnOldStone]

Subbed the moment I heard the Batman Forever theme for Kylo. Goddamn brilliant.

[@tribalbeat6471]

I really liked this video and hope we will hear something a bit more timely regarding Rogue One.

[@VoxisProductions]

Ask and you shall receive...

[@tribalbeat6471]

+Voxis Productions wew lad

[@KaNoMikoProductions]

The use of the Batman Beyond music during the intro of Kylo was perfect.

[@johnweber4577]

The music choices behind each character description are amazing. XD

[@pp312]

Brilliant stuff. Such profound analysis of such inconsistent childish fluff, and from an old fart too. An old fart puppet. I'll be keeping a close eye on your channel. Subscribed.

[@meggrotte4760]

Dear professor, At this very moment I'm sitting in a hospital in Taiwan waiting for my surgery on my shoulder . driving home today and some people from Hong Kong were trying to back up their car but the street was too streets and their car was so big but it went over to the side where I was driving I tried to avoid them I swerving and I still managed to hit the car and landed on my left arm which broke my shoulder. Of course I'm finding peace and my friends who pray for me on the phone but I'm actually watching the videos to take my mind off the fact that many questions are running through my head. I wanted to say thank you for all the good work you do I don't know why but please help me not to worry about things

[@VoxisProductions]

Get well soon Meg!

[@meggrotte4760]

@@VoxisProductions yeah I'm a bit worried about that I'm not sure how long it's going to take for my arm to recover maybe 1 month it's the right hand I write with two which makes it difficult to teach English

[@meggrotte4760]

@@VoxisProductions thank you very much I appreciate it

[@VoxisProductions]

@@meggrotte4760 I'm working on a video that should be out in a few days and then a big 2020 review. I'll work hard to make sure you have a visual distraction.

[@meggrotte4760]

@@VoxisProductions but don't forget to keep up with your health okay. remember health is important so you can do your work well. I'll be praying for you. God gave you a special calling to open people's eyes to create something that has heart and soul instead of just crap

[@fredo1070]

You predicted the Last Jedi.

[@drazen1529]

Columbine kid v2.0, that one is just priceless.

[@ReachingHigher001]

Got to love the Batman Beyond theme music when he talks about Kylo, and that picture at 13:59. God damn.

[@marksalmoneussorcerersupreme]

Yeah that caught me by surprise as well.

[@swahiliranger1022]

Just think about how non-nonsensical it was to land a GIANT SPACE LASER onto the "not hoth" salt planet surface when at the beginning of the movie they blew up the remnants of the old Resistance base with their Star Destroyer from orbit. Just think about how impossible it is for bombs to drop vertically in an environment where their is no gravity. Just think about impractical it would be to even have a bomber that opened its doors like bomb-bay doors with a manual latch by personnel on-board- into outer space. Just think about how Poe attacks the ship at the beginning, destroying all the surface lasers, he's told by Leia that he's just basically "buying them time," rather than obviously clearing the way for a small assault on the New Order's Ship. He's later told that this was not the plan, but then who orchestrated it after he muted his communicator? Just think about how impractical it would be to have a ship that can track another ship through hyperspace, but can't use lightspeed to move ahead of the Resistance fleet and then blow them up. Just think about how unnecessary the scene is where Snoke physically punishes Hux, even though they all already know they have a device that tracks ships through hyperspace. This is just a scene for a short gag, their is no logical reason for it to happen. Just think about how awkward it would be to have mastered the force, converted your dead-beat Dad Vader to the light side and 30 years later be a washed up bum that doesn't use the force because one time he tried to kill his Nephew when he thought they might be interested in the Dark side of the force. Just think how awkward all this is when Han Solo, Leia, Chewbacca, R2-D2, and C3PO, never mention anything about it, never seem to have any thoughts on the matter, and apparently all stopped talking for 30 years up until the events of the Force Awakens. Just think how odd it would be to have a bunch of super powers, namely "the force" without any explanation given as to why, or how, who you got them from and then think how hard it would be to make your already invincible, perfect character even remotely relate able or capable of growth. Just think of how odd it is to see Luke Skywalker, a character mentioned in the title crawl as being the galaxy's "last hope" according to Leia, lose a fight to some nobody orphan from a Desert planet without any training, but succumb to an Astral projection fight with Kylo instead. Just think how strange it was to see these elite light saber wielding knights who were all I assume, trained by Snoke or Luke, go down without any effort whatsoever. An elite group of bodyguards beaten by some guy who isn't even a Sith Master and a girl who isn't even a trained Jedi apprentice. Just marvel at how tonally bizarre every joke in this movie was, how out of place they felt, how bereft of meaning they all were and how they made scenes that could've been interesting vapid and pointless. Just think how odd it would be to have some asshole show up on your planet with you light saber that was chopped off your hand by your own Father, with your dearest friend Chewbacca, who you've know for decades, explain to YOU that your best friend Han Solo was murdered by your own apprentice in a cut away shot that would rather focus on two losers on a Casino planet that has no relevance to the plot. How on earth does Luke not know about any of this happening? Do Leia and him not talk, do they not write to each other? If someone had a map to find Luke Skywalker, wouldn't that mean that SOMEONE knew where he was or had at least said "Hello?" Imagine my horror, when not only are Chewbacca, C3PO, and R2-D2, some of the most beloved characters in the series are instead relegated to background ornaments that have nothing to do with the overarching plot, have barely any lines in the movie and are instead pushed to side for less interesting dialogue. Just ponder what the hell happened to deflector shields, a thing that was part of the established canon throughout the entire film series, but apparently the technology has been completely forgotten in the last 30 years by both the Resistance and the New Order. Just think about the amount of distance Leia would've had to travel in space to catch up with the other fleeing cruisers after the one she was in was blown to pieces and she was sucked into outerspace. We don't know how long she was in the vacuum of space, we don't know how fast the cruisers are traveling, but if they are being pursued by the First Order, then I'm guessing they'd be quite a ways away from the wreckage of that ship. So the movie is expecting me to believe that she used the "Force" to place herself in a protective bubble through space, matched the speed of the retreating cruiser and then just knocked on the door to then be "let in?" They open a door into outer space, without shielding of any kind and with no depressurization whatsoever and the writers expect nothing bad to occur? Also.. Space gas. Early on in the movie its explained that they don't have enough space gas to make another jump to lightspeed, we then see purple hair lady filling up the transports with I assume is whatever is left of the "space gas" left in the main cruiser. This is not the case though, as the transports fly to the "not" hoth planet, we see that she indeed still has space gas to go to lightspeed one more time- into the enemy ship. Something they could've done.... at any time with any other ship I'm guessing. When Poe gets the crew to mutiny, which is also unlikely as we as an audience don't know who he is, I doubt anyone in the Resistance knows who the hell he is either, but he points out that purple hair is "filling up" all the transports with whatever is left of the space gas in the cruiser. Implying that once they are out- the ship won't be able to make another jump. This is the entire reason he stages a mutiny to begin with and has no effect on the plot regardless and is just a filler action scene.

[@Creeno1]

OMFG I laughed hard at that post credit scene!!

[@crashandersen602]

"Speaking of dark side..." *sly tone, shows John Boo-yah-gah.* I laughed way too hard at that. Well done, Tosspot.

[@DizziesBeDizzy]

OMG this & The Last Jedi Review are complete gold & hit these movies right on the head with how terrible they are. Great effects & a couple decent fight scenes don't make up for the lack of story/plot holes/no character development & under par acting, ETC. "Fuck you Mom & Dad the Empire let's him stay up late!" LMAO!!! This review & your Last Jedi review made a subscriber out of me. Keep up the phenomenal work you do.

[@unknowunknow2272]

Good choose on the Batman beyond into song! (Best intro song I ever heard!)

[@TheMrPeteChannel]

Sir, this should have 100,000 views.

[@mj6258]

This planet gets destroyed.....could not give a fuck.....ROLF! This channel deserves a shitload more subs.

[@robmitchell801]

Voxis, Wonderful review and I loved your update on the Second to the last Disney fuck up!

[@generalzod7959]

The franchise is DEAD! Folks just gotta face facts and admit the truth.

[@oddballskull1941]

Kneel!

[@lizardlegend42]

Filmwise, mostly yeah but the last 1/3rd of Rogue One was absolutely increadible and while FA was very derivative it was genuinely fun imo and had some interesting ideas such as Finn fod example. TV-wise though is a completely different. Clone Wars Season 7 was beautiful, the last arc had me almost to tears, and Mandalorian is some of the best star wars content ever. Filoni and Favreau are really knockinv if out of the park on the small screen

[@polomat14]

Am I just an old fart from the Muppets, or that puppet over there is just frakin' on point?

[@MrPGC137]

Another excellent video, which strikes dead-center on-target on every single point made. Well done!

[@atlanta2076]

He said »toothy bint«!!! Subscribed!

[@dylanhester4194]

I LOVE that you put the Batman beyond theme in the background.

[@erikhermansen3431]

2:10 Batman Beyond soundtrack? Noice! I still have that CD in 2023.

[@erikhermansen3431]

11:20 is that Fight Club? Great musical taste!

[@ProjectRedfoot]

Fuggyou mum & dad! Lol this video rules

[@RichardWatt]

And Tone Loc when he starts talking about John Boyega and Finn.

[@Hk7762Tube]

2057 still no word from Professor.

[@steeltimberwolf]

If Finn was replaced by Ruby Rhod, this abortion of a movie would have been enjoyable to watch. Shit I would have went to see it a 2nd time.

[@aurorauplinks4703]

steeltimberwolf fifth Element reference, such a exotic choice, I liked the priest. The alien angels. The singer. And yes leelu, with them the president and colonial, let's just reboot that film with a sequel, they could go on a expedition to uncover murder, corporate corruption, and a plan to take over a alien city city world oooo

[@XDlosDominicans]

"This planet gets destroyed: *Could. Not. Give. A. Fuck.* " you fucking kill me Voxis hahaha. I can't believe I haven't found you before!

[@Wally480]

Barely any uploads im 2 years and still 90k subscribers. That's a testament to the quality of your channel my friend! Cant wait for you to start uploading new content.

[@MiniMiri_999]

KZbin finally recommended something truly amazing

[@cmbbfan78]

Now, the true Rebels would be the guys, who would make crowfounded movies from the Legends/EU and beat with that the evil Disney-Empire!

[@NicholasBrakespear]

And all of that's leaving aside the gaping plot holes. Star Wars was never realistic; it was never really science fiction, more fantasy with lasers. But at least it was a bit more internally consistent. Here, we have a complete warping of distance, with no sense of place; when the mega-deathstar blows up those planets, people on *another* planet see it as if it was happening to a nearby moon. We're expected to believe that the mega-city New Republic world... just happens to be an almost literal stone's throw from the arse-end-of-nowhere wilderness place, rich with natural resources and forests, yet populated exclusively by a seedy bar? And what about the stupid map thing? We see the "final piece" of the map leading to Luke's location - something so important that the Empire wants it too - yet nobody thought that maybe, just maybe, that one missing spot on the map of the galaxy might be where Luke his hiding? They didn't think to search it? The Empire's fleets didn't fly to that missing chunk and patrol it like crazy? And what about the dotted line? We see this stupid dotted line, implying that one *must* travel from point to point, to reach Luke. Yet what does Mary Sue Rey do at the film's finale? She flies straight there. No epic journey. No great space road trip aboard the Falcon, revisiting the now ruined locations of the previous films on a journey of self-discovery, bonding with Finn and learning that all the old "legends" about Luke and the rebels were true. No. She just engages the hyperdrive, and flies straight there, bypassing a fantastic film premise entirely, and negating the dotted line. And while we're on the subject of the rebels, why are they still rebels? They establish, with those planets exploding, that the New Republic is a thing. There is a New Republic. It is a government. It is the government the rebels were fighting to put in place. Yet now that the New Republic exists, the rebels are still... rebels? They're not an official arm of the New Republic? The New Republic is relying on unofficial, underfunded support from guerilla fighters to protect it from the vast armies of the crumbling Empire? They didn't give anyone, not even Leia, an official position of authority? It's not as if Leia was some sort of politically-deviant nutcase. She *was* the Republic. She was fighting for the senate. Yet now the senate is presumably reformed, she's... rebelling still? This alone could have been the focus of the story; the aftermath of the rebellion, and how the galaxy has gone to shit in the wake of what would have been a massive economic collapse, with multiple member-worlds of the New Republic taking advantage of the power vacuum. But no. Instead, the economically crippled Empire's remnants are able to convert an entire world into a new death star, within visual range of a major New Republic city-planet, without anyone in the New Republic noticing. Hell, the weapon itself doesn't even make sense. They have the ability to suck up and destroy an entire star, yet they have to also convert that star into a laser beam? Why? They just sucked up a star. That would have destroyed the entire system on its own; all the planets would have been doomed to darkness and coldness, and they would have been hurled into the vastness of intergalactic space, no longer anchored by the star's gravity.

[@rhinehard206]

Thank you. A new take on old garbage.

[@IwashereJay]

Thank you so much! I saw these on the first viewing and looked at my girlfriend at that time and she looked at me in complete confusion what bullshit we just witnessed. I was a star wars fan from child days so I had a lot of nostalgia going on so I tried to convince myself I was oversensitive but she was introduced just a couple months earlier and only had her disappointment to have witnessed a bad movie. And then we go home and the internet is exploded with praise. I was just like wtf? I mean I give them great visuals, charisma of the characters and I had no problem with Daisie's acting. Especially I do not share the hate for making the main characters a black, and a girl (and two white people + all the white cast of the OT btw, which everyone seems to forget). But heck no one can deny that Rey is a Mary Sue, Finn is comic relief and Poe is nothing but an ace. The scene on mas kanatas planet was not showing "what a great pilot" he is. It showed what an unrealisticly written piece of furniture he is. I remember seeing him destroying TIEs left and right and front and center and even fucking sniping stormtroopers to free the rebels in their midst and I could just think of a little kid playing with an xwing and going "Booom booom kabooom and he crashes this TIE, and this TIE, and this one too! BRAWOOOM" ... I sincerely hoped this film was a hickup and they would get back on track but f*ck damn it ... Last Jedi prove me wrong... Aaaaand I was on a rant again. All i wanted to say: I wish more people could see it like it is, like you do >.< Especially people making movies nowadays! Maybe we wouldn't be served such a garbage...

[@aurorauplinks4703]

They have space ships, but I think it's more an allusion to kyp durron blowing up the Carrida star system The planet should have been a hyperspace velocity teleportor, teleports stars and planets, could have just yanked the star and flew away with it, or crashed the planets into the star useing their hyper velocity planetary teleporter Oh and the movies could have been mostly based on Correlia, with that being the CorreLia star system, everyone's invested, boom

[@erik95056]

Nah, the Movie should have been about the Republic suffering from the overexpenditure of the Empire and the Economic crisis from all that superstation frantic building, leading to things like the increase in piracy (Thus the pirates, tentacles and a Falcon segment). Then the Remnants of the Empire, entrenched in poor systems builds a Superweapon capable of turning stars into Energy, promising a fire for industry, and "new Order" to Fix the crime and corruption ridden Republic (it was their fault, they are Double villains now!). Focus on Queen Leia And (General/Gran Master) Luke. Harrison Ford didnt wanna partake much so he stays a Loser and have that shit segment. Make the New people NeoRep's Officials and maybe a stray one (Finn the Defected COMMANDER Would be a nice fit) Have them Root out Spies going Rather Rogue from the Republic. Keep it Simple.

[@KaNoMikoProductions]

About the map, the universe is fucking huge. You can't "just" patrol the missing area or search it. There are billions of planets there, each of massive size.

[@boyoboyo2272]

Yes, exactly! You summarized it perfectly right from the get go

[@Erduk]

Hooray for the Batman Beyond intro! Heh.

[@trackmurdera]

Homie you called the Marvel, Disney, connection... You are now my soothsayer. ;)

[@jentaro]

Dear Johnny, every location IS an explosion in these new films. Expect Mickey as an obscure sith in the near future. Those tickets and merch have to sell otherwise Walt can't build his own private Elysium for aftter he's defrostrf.

[@totterdell]

Lord Mood Swing bahahahaha so on point that it just killed me

[@jonathangarcia5279]

Ah the Batman Beyond title theme how I love you. Thanks Voxis!

[@jakedunnegan]

This is like the 4th time I've watched this. Even on the 4th time, the last couple minutes of (well, except the very last scene of the singer) was an awesome assessment of what's wrong with a LOT of movies today, or even the concept of "blockbusters" which seems to have completely overtaken Hollywood. Maybe with movie theaters disappearing, we can get back to lower budget films that tell stories.

[@VoxisProductions]

One can hope Jake. One can hope.

[@meggrotte4760]

How I wish I could like this 100000 times. He pretty much said what I wanted to say but couldn't express. All I can feel is anger because the characters were given no respect. When I say characters I'm talking about the real Star Wars characters

[@chrisperrien7055]

What a nice British term, "bint" . I like bints . Merry Christmas :)

[@Jordan-tu4ki]

using the batman beyond theme for kylo ren was funny

[@necromorph1109]

Batman beyond music . Well done

[@starsiegeplayer]

I just found your stuff today. Very funny and smart.

[@luizpalombini3425]

*Star Wars is not quantum physics. It’s actually pretty straight forward. Here is what the OT is all about* *1. Hero´s Journey* *2. Theme of the OT:* “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster . . . when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you” ― Friedrich Nietzsche *3. The Force:* Inspired by the asian philosophy TAO or CHI. *Luke´s Hero Journey* ( simplicity is the ultimate sophistication ): *A New Hope:* Follow your dreams, believe in yourself. Luke learns to know himself and trust in himself. Its the firt step of his Jedi initiation. "Your eyes can deceive you don trust them... instead use your instincts" " Use the force Luke... Let go Luke" "The force is what gives the Jedi its power..." *The Empire Strikes Back:* Luke learns the dark side inside him and the importance of self control, training, patience and passiveness. "you will know (the dark side from the light side) ... when you are in peace" "a Jedi uses his strenth for knowledge and defense never for attack" "beware of the dark side, fear, anger, hatred, on the dark side are they.." "once you follow in the dark path, it may forever be your destiny, like it did Obi Wan´s apprentice" "wha is in that cave?" "Only what you take with you" *Return of the Jedi:* Follow your own path. You are in control of your destiny. Luke does not turn to the dark side and instead He is ready to face his own death and wellcomes it. *Han and Leia are basically Pride and Prejudice in Space.* To be continued... .

[@pisceanmysteries6056]

Welp, that end pic was my daily dose of nightmare fuel.

[@archerc4828]

This is how snooty British is made funny.

[@sabbathjackal]

snooty british is always funny

[@seanmcclure]

I am a little ashamed to admit I gave this movie a pass. It introduced my kids to Star Wars and they loved it. It felt like a reboot and a sendoff for the old characters. Little did we know social justice and a Mary Sue would bring the franchise down quicker than anything other than Jar Jar Binks.

[@pcrana1]

Using the intro song from Batman Beyond, you sir get a subscribe.

[@wadesiedschlag5095]

Now watching this, great precedence.

[@thedeadd.c.207]

"Poor old lady, you just want to give her some cocaine" 😂😂

[@waydetheblade]

That was the most PERFECT, true statement; that this was not a Star Wars film, but a Disney film...12:02

[@yuripantyhose4973]

you are amazing, love your vids, thanks for your work.

[@mercutio6623]

Just found this channel-tis awesome; love the puppet, your POV, and BATMAN BEYOND Theme for Kylo! Nailed it, haha looking forward to your archive...keep doing what you're doing! New Star Wars blows...terrible storytelling, that is all!

[@jackburton7483]

First black main character in Star Wars (Lando and Mace were supporting roles), and what does he do? Quits his job and steals a TIE fighter. Way to fight those stereotypes, Disney.

[@gregboyington4896]

The image of unblinking black toy eyes unable to move or look away was more funny too after I thought about it.

[@dragons_red]

"Extra chromosome kicked in.." EPIC The subtitles for bb8 was epic too, nice touch using the Star Wars font. I think this video is clearly where you've hit your stride and taken off...

[@TheAngryHippie]

The ending of this video is pure fucking genius.

[@ericshawn3169]

I like how in VIII Poe is a good character and is right with his conflict with the SJW feminist purple hair lady yet he is painted to be wrong

[@DanceySteveYNWA]

"Our antagonist is a 'Mister' Kylo Ren" 😂

[@danielpcowen]

“Ray is OP in this film” ... oh dear, just wait for the next two

[@GundamVet]

I'm one of those 30-somethings, and I agree with you %100!

[@meggrotte4760]

I tried to explain this to other foreign teachers in Taiwan and for some reason they didn't believe me. It seemed to think it was a great movie I grew up watching the old star wars movies they were great. I didn't like the prequels. However after watching the disney movies i've found myself wanting to watch the those I don't know but I just find today. People don't put much thought or effort into what they watch Seems like there's no standard anymore.

[@alexjones3957]

That ending picture though... 😂

[@DanDrakeV]

The Batman Beyond theme playing in the background during Kylo Ren's intro wasn't lost on me.

[@stephen6279]

10:12 Exactly. When i saw this at the cinema i was thinking 'is that the city planet Coruscant? Which planet is that? Who are those people reacting?

[@KibaCustoms]

Luke says dramatically: "Finally... the force awakens..."

[@I_Cunt_Spell]

The force is dead 💀💀💀

[@mackenziewhethers1257]

Dude! you CANNOT just spring a weird hermaphrodite cyrus on me! jesus, im never going to get to sleep tonight, shits gonna haunt me....

[@kierstinschmidt2514]

Really only have one word to describe that Mylie Cyrus pic: Classy

[@Guderian2]

Watching this after Rise of Soywalker and this one got me: "No more Face-Melting" he...