Smack Talk: Beauty and the Beastiality

[@VoxisProductions]

Hello all you lovely viewers! Firstly let me apologise for the delays and lack of content. After a lengthy dissertation my computer died and then soon after my health went down the crapper. I've spent the last month in and out of hospital. I'm still recovering even now but I still worked through the pain and discomfort. Thank you for being so patient and not hitting unsubscribe. My health is still bad but there is more Smack Talk to come. Keep being awesome fans =)

[@BeachlessIsland]

Looking forward to the next one :)

[@manlycupcakes2548]

hope you recover fully soon and thx for the new content :)

[@VoxisProductions]

Thank you. Back in hospital soon but I'll try working on more content for you and everyone else. Thanks for the support.

[@caillustration]

Listen you chose that lifestyle so you deal with the medical consequences, make more funny videos!!! I pressed a subscribe button on my screen, that means you owe me........also its "the" hospital.

[@NoOnesaidthis]

Voxis Productions I hope you get better

[@graveyardshiftfilms2076]

Prof Tosspot is the best thing to happen to internet movie criticism since Mr. Plinkett.

[@VoxisProductions]

Bless ya

[@garethmorgan8326]

Amen to that !

[@DeLorean4]

My favorite movie critics in the 2000s: Ebert and Roeper My favorite movie critics in the 2020s: a fictional elderly handicapped serial killer from Milwaukee and a British puppet.

[@softwhiteund3rarm0r]

@@DeLorean4 haha well said. They're so much better than most hack "screen writer"

[@ZimCrusher]

Best line: "But this is France, where only the women are allowed to be hairy."

[@defencebangladesh4068]

awesome line indeed

[@chrishunter8305]

even better than "He seems like a sleezy fucker, who might try to stick a sneaky finger in her bum!"? :P

[@afti03]

JESUS, i read this comment at EXACTLY the same time the professor was saying it, leading to a surreal reading, as i always read with the pipeman's voice in mind

[@ut2k4wikichici]

I lolled then I got an erected

[@Rubashow]

It would be amusing if the Prince was some really, really average looking, balding, slightly pudgy guy after his transformation back. Then you just see Belle for a split second, flinching. The end.

[@MandaloreGaming]

That was a lot of CGI wolves and I could really go for a nice T-Shirt™

[@Internetzspacezshipz]

MandaloreGaming fancy seeing you here. Keep those reviews coming yo.

[@AxelLeJeff]

You recommended this to me(Collectively), and while I agree the film was bad, so was this.

[@matthew1882]

MandaloreGaming woah weird seeing you here mate. Love the reviews.

[@operator7209]

You are awesome

[@ClubbingSealCub]

That letter killed me.

[@juanvelez4178]

Clubbing Seal Cub The search party murdered me I couldn't stop laughing

[@Seadog7981]

I sent it to her, now I am being sued for rape. And I have to fight rabid feminist off all the time. I am running out of bulliets and need help asap.

[@NewOrderOfAlexandria]

UUUHH!-

[@Ackalan]

@@Seadog7981 R.I.P my man, your heroic deed will live through the ages in tales and songs. May the divine Patriarchy keep your soul enjoyed and your soulmate in the kitchen.

[@WMan37]

My family tried to drag me to this movie, and I basically predicted that the movie would be exactly like this, despite having never seen a disney live action remake before. Why? Because it's fucking disney; The animated versions were already timeless so making a live action version was bound to be instantly dated, unnecessary, and by the numbers.

[@AvengerII]

That's exactly why I've skipped over ALL the Disney live-action remakes. The funny thing is the animated versions were LESS PC than this BS. I don't understand how many of these European cultures suddenly became multicultural back in the 1300-1500s on top of the "FEMINISM!" and over the top gay sidekicks. You would think people would be smarter than to feed that machine but I guess they have 5-second attention spans and 3-second memories or they would remember these movies were already made 10-20 years ago! Some of the films are barely dried out in the film cans and they're doing these godawful remakes. It started out with that awful live-action Alice in Wonderland movie 10 years ago and the success of that film (which I don't understand -- I was bored out of my skull by it and I LIKE animated Alice in Wonderland) convinced Disney to continue down this direction. They have plans to do AT LEAST 20 of these, they're remaking virtually every animated film they EVER did in live-action. If you thought Eisner was bland and colorless and had no ideas, Iger's worse and can't develop anything new. That's why Disney has been buying IP's (Pixar, Marvel, LucasFilm) left and right!

[@cartooncritique6625]

I couldn't have put it better myself!

[@lsixty30]

yeah i love shitting down the throats of people who love me because bad movies are bad

[@WMan37]

@@lsixty30 Do you picture me acting like a fedora tipping nerd to my parents going "WELL AKHYCHULLY IT'S GOING TO BE SHIT SO DON'T TAKE ME TO SEE THE MOVIE"? I assure you it was more akin to "eh, I'm not that interested in it, would you like to go see a different movie instead?" And we went to see John Wick Chapter 2 instead and had a blast. It was only after I was asked why I didn't wanna go see it that I just kinda went "I mean, I already saw Beauty and The Beast and it's still a classic, I don't need to watch the remake that I'm certain will not be as good."

[@cybe9717]

I swear the biggest disappointment I had from her, were those leaked photos.

[@ccmyart]

Which ones?

[@teddyj5187]

She has nice booty

[@Whiteshell204]

OMG DUDE....I just went to verify..and you are 100% correct...didn't know she had those pics lol...funny how clothing can hide so much....she should have a nice body...but that's a big old negative. She does have a pretty face though...but that will only get you so far haha

[@defencebangladesh4068]

lol 😭

[@pablorages1241]

Her nipples are quite nice .... but she could do with some muscle on her .... she's slim but still looks chubby... it's weird

[@LaurentiuBadea]

The most hypocrite feminist stars in a movie about a girl being held against her will by a monster only to develop a raging Stockholm syndrome when she finds out he's actually a charming prince.

[@cartooncritique6625]

How Comically Ironic! XD

[@starseed96]

Don't worry, she'll hold true to her feminist ideals by divorcing him as soon as she can alimony the castle away from him.

[@darwincity]

Juicy paychecks can change minds in a jiffy.

[@marionetteking4036]

Seems kind of shallow lol. But that's how feminists are, willing to compromise their beliefs for further advancements in their lives

[@neonkscksc]

The only thing missing from this picture is "she's a gold digga" playing in the background.

[@2st486]

"runs away from 1's and 0's" you sir, might have just created a classic there....

[@oatlord]

"Belle's daddy runs away from 1s and 0s...." That sentence and the few after were hilarious.

[@shesagoodgirl]

despite being depressed in a very real way and not cracking a smile in weeks i just let out a full belly laugh and several nose sniffs watching this........thanks you id forgot i even could :D

[@VoxisProductions]

Very welcome.

[@shesagoodgirl]

@@VoxisProductions *swoons*

[@JumCuggler]

Create a kickstarter for a new liver.

[@OldCyrilTheGamingGrandpa]

Emma Watson's so petty. Can't believe she created additional youtube accounts just to dislike this 5 times.

[@filipeamaral216]

I took away your 69 likes for a good cause.

[@R0guy]

"...Resolve her daddy issues at the back of a cart" HAHAHA xD Awesome job as usual Voxis! Get well soon!

[@neonkscksc]

"...Resolve her daddy issues at the back of a cart" or Harvey's mansion.

[@Pondimus_Maximus]

Magic carpet bombing! LMAO!!!

[@killian9314]

Pondimus Maximus that gives me laughs for days

[@poiuyt975]

I was about to point out the same thing. :D

[@defencebangladesh4068]

lmao

[@phairecouchpotato3912]

I want to see that movie!

[@heliopyre]

love how Belle gave Beast the benefit of the doubt, rationalised his shitty behaviour, and put effort into changing him but couldn't extend that understanding to Gaston as well

[@marley7868]

yeah but evil fairy gets pass when realistically speaking if gaston had like 5 lines changed in any version he'd be totally justified in trying to kill the beast

[@cacadodo666]

Belle’s daddy runs away from ones and zeros😂😂

[@snarkhigh7769]

LMAO "IF THIS WAS SET IN TURKEY". I feel bad for laughing since I am turkish

[@doghat1619]

smack talk is one of the best things on this website, never stop

[@jaredjones8316]

I’m so happy that I stubbled on to this channel. I’m honestly blown away that you you don’t have more subs, with the wit and the quality of these vids! Subbed.

[@tommyodonovan3883]

The funniest show on the interweb.

[@sledgehammer301]

@@tommyodonovan3883 Yup. I just discover the Professor's channel about 2 weeks ago and have been binging on them ever since. So good

[@francism9782]

"I can quit any time I want." That's what I said when binge watching your videos. Yet...here I am...

[@damianlegion8455]

1:34 You are one of the few KZbinrs who descend from the highest level of heavens to hear and talks with their subscribers. I really appreciate that, be blessed. Some other KZbinrs doesn't take the time to read comments (specially my comments 😢) and respond them in an honest way (they just send LIKES or generic answers, but you read! That's great!) You should be one of TheLastKZbinr who will be left alive in the EndOfTimes, for real... 😳😳😳

[@alexkennard2422]

Really? Will Smith is going to play the Genie in the live-action Aladdin movie? Wow, you would think with this whole "politically correct," SJW bullshit culture we live in, you'd think the last thing Disney would do is turn the black guy in their upcoming movie into a magical dancing and singing slave.

[@010203109]

Unless they make it all grim bullcrap he could be a horrible choice. What had me recoiling in horror was imagining him trying to emulate classic Disney Genie. He couldn't do it, his forte is cool, kinda goofy sometimes, guys; not constant comedy. His voice alone has never had the gleeful energy I'd expect of someone trying to copy Robin William's take on this character.

[@coryfice1881]

Will Smith is really good at making shitty scripts the writers give him sound better then it normally wood be, but alot of the charm came from Robin William's ad libbing.

[@unofficialnintendo8547]

Alex Kennard has revealed the truth

[@AlexWithAStar]

Alex Kennard The broadway play has a black guy play it, I’ve seen the play myself, so...

[@CosmicIntelJet]

HAHAHAHA! xD It always becomes ironic like that, and they don't even realize it.

[@spurdojenkins1932]

That's not fair. Emma Watson's best performance was acting like she enjoyed getting it raw from Harvey Wienstien.

[@laserdemonfrostmage8421]

Spurdo Jenkins found the /b/ lurker 1 year later

[@KelvinChallenger]

Holy Shit! XD

[@neonkscksc]

Money power.

[@thomasdonovan3580]

Tossed Harvey’s Salad

[@blankadams3120]

Dear Professor: How do you type with boxing gloves on? Your friend, Deleted

[@darthgamer9861]

I appreciate your Homestar reference

[@heyhey439]

It's been up a year but I watch this every once in a while when I get salty about Disney's treatment of my favorite childhood movie. Thank you professor, your funny as hell!

[@pandaraph]

that one time you shilled yourself months ago on 4chan has finally paid off for you, glad to finally see a new video

[@DrAutisto]

I swear I remember his first shill like it was yesterday. Or maybe it was?

[@nokt1]

i still have timestap somewhere

[@BasedKen21]

The good ole days

[@RealAfricanPatriot]

It was years ago. Thanks to that now I can say, I knew Voxis before he was cool.

[@imawildman]

What the fuck you on about?

[@AvengerII]

HOW THE HELL DID THIS CGI MONSTROSITY MAKE MORE MONEY THAN THE 1991 ANIMATED VERSION?!?!? The hand-drawn film looks 1,000 times better and I'm sure the soundtrack/singing was better in the 1991 edition, too! Are people just going to line up and see every one of these monstrosities instead of picking up personal copies of the PRIOR animated versions and watching those instead?!? I never understood the whole point of these remakes other than Disney acknowledging they have NO NEW IDEAS left!

[@cartooncritique6625]

Of course they have no ideas left! That's why they've been buying up other intellectual properties left and right (Pixar, Lucasfilms, Marvel, and now 20th Century Fox).

[@TheTank1110]

This movie is riding on the previous movies' legacy, and simply more people to watch I guess.

[@darwincity]

The popcorn smells good? I dunno...

[@neonkscksc]

@@darwincity Popcorn is illegal... I can't believe what I just wrote.

[@marmite400]

I haven't laughed out loud with genuine glee in years. Thank you so much and a happy New year to you.xxxx

[@bogusmogus9551]

0:47 " I can quit anytime I want" -bottle smashes, LMFAO!!

[@BulletMagnetLive]

This should be the most popular channel on youtube, I expect more from you youtube, make this more popular or I will start watching VIMEO and Googling with Internet Explorer, yeh that'd show you.

[@VoxisProductions]

Stay tuned amigo. Last Jedi soon...

[@BidnessGoose]

I sat through this movie for a date, didn't work out, I hate this movie.

[@thegreatestevil1616]

Dex respect!

[@Scorch428]

Thats the price of pussy

[@settingsun8403]

did she reject your further advances

[@sethlong9118]

Cinderella was the same for me. 😥🔫

[@ajstyles5704]

Why on earth did you go watch these types of craps for a movie date? If you want p*ssy, trust me, less attraction the better, something that sparks conversations, not adoration, especially rebooted stuff, is something to avoid.

[@tooth656]

That splice of ISIS when you touched on the Aladdin reboot had me choke with laughter hahaha! Never change, stay gold!

[@nokt1]

Quality video as always fam. I really wish more people knew about this channel. Me shilling for it doesn't do much.

[@VoxisProductions]

Ah, at least you watch it. That's all I can ask for.

[@Steven205]

Oh hey you did the review I asked you to. How was the lighter fluid?

[@g.rogowski2462]

Senpai noticed you. I'm jelly...

[@eminosose]

I thought the French knew parkour??? Hahahaha

[@stijnvdv2]

'Belle's dad runs away from 1's and 0's' XD nailed it talking about the CGI.

[@garethmorgan8326]

This is truly Classic, it never fails to make me laugh, year after year.

[@TheTonyMcD]

I thought her singing was incredible! It was so metallic and robotic sounding, beautiful. And her pitch, wow! She was dead on accurate for ever single note! Just as good as a computer!

[@studiograficomty]

I constantly get surprised with the freaking witty script...i dunno how much time he puts into the production, but its just great...i love this so much...here is a great example of what you can do with a good script that you can make a grown up man spit the coffee with a 4 words line...

[@MarkAndrewEdwards]

Movies and puppets, two of my favorite things!

[@rmurphy440m]

Then the Dark Crystal will make you cream your jeans!

[@damianlegion8455]

3:00 Emma Watson, Emilia Clarke & Daisy Ridley, they all possess the same acting's skills, none. 😋😋😋

[@Superknullisch]

That ending.. 🤣🤣🤣 Brilliant!! Absolutely brilliant!! And very in character, given what a true English tosspot professor would say (slightly drunk on a Friday evening😉)

[@KinoNowejPrzygody]

Do a review of Caligula 1979

[@mikespearwood3914]

Is that the one with real sex shown?

[@KinoNowejPrzygody]

Yep that is the one. The funny thing is someone uploaded "Making of" documentary from that movie on YT - all X-rated shots included. How is that possible?

[@Dustpuma1]

LOSERoftheRoundtable i assume u dont know how to google idiot

[@jeremyjohnson7429]

This is quality content on par with the very best. You need millions of subs.

[@thecluckingassassin]

I watched all of your smack talk videos yesterday and now I'm going back through them again today.

[@IndiAcres]

This is some of the best shit i've seen since viral video film school.

[@mohamedamineboughadou4096]

The Ikea brawl joke. Mwah! I fucking rolled on the furniture laughing! Spot on!

[@butiur]

Funniest movie critic around, top content, I'm really waiting for this channel to skyrocket

[@juanvelez4178]

Thank you for making this video. You now have a new fan and I can't wait to see more of your work.

[@RocketeerRaccoon]

Just stick to the animated version, it's so much better than this live action crap.

[@cartooncritique6625]

Amen To That! ^^

[@ab5olut3zero95]

Facts

[@SpellboundWolf]

This narration is fabulous. I'm so glad that the Mulan review was recommended to me.

[@meghandavis5327]

Emma "ineedapaycheck" Watson 😂

[@mikegrady5669]

Professor Tosspot rules!!!! Keep em coming

[@francism9782]

Dude! Why am i just discovering this guy NOW? Friggin highly underrated channel.

[@mohammadbahrami9859]

my new favorite channel I'm binging since yesterday

[@thegongoozler3374]

After six or seven videos I can happily say this is a channel worth subbing to.

[@ut2k4wikichici]

Love your videos bro been rebinging them all week

[@RoosterCogburnPhD]

You deserve a bigger following, you and SoulBrothaNumbuh3

[@magnushorus5670]

How? How have I not heard of this guy before????? He’s Friggen hilarious

[@VoxisProductions]

Welcome to the secret club.

[@chris-solmon4017]

Lol! Yes, there will be a lot of caviar and Filipino rent boys at the shareholders meeting! So true! Ha ha! I thought I was the only one who realized that "unspoken" truth.

[@jamesbryant8133]

Could not have laughed more if I tried 🤣 Finishing with a pot noodle and a wank *is* classy

[@omgsam7185]

everytime he explains away CGI as "1s and 0s" take a shot

[@Norbert_Sattler]

"...runs away from ones and zeroes..." That line really cracked me up. :D

[@bjrnhalfhand2258]

A pot noodle and a wank? A very British Saturday night in it is then.

[@joesomebody3365]

Very entertaining review, love the channel.

[@airmackeeee6792]

This is the most honest and truthful description of the modern film industry.

[@ZS05]

Fantastic review! I also love Taken.

[@louismendoza-y9l]

Voxis Productions is a ray of sunshine on a dreary day. I have seen this vid a few times and it still makes me laugh out loud.

[@jameretief8327]

The Jungle Book remake was surprisingly faithful to the book. I wonder how many people realize that Mowgli was a straight up killer.

[@erichtomanek4739]

Watching in 2022. If this rather pithilly excellent review was done today, it would contain an extravagant number of references to Monkey Pox.

[@erichtomanek4739]

and Lockdowns.....

[@vintarbc8333]

Your channel is awesome. You need more subs my man.

[@StrahdVonZarovich802]

man i lost it, i cannot stop laughing :')

[@killian9314]

Max Soze same, the commnt section doesnt help

[@bestthingsinceslicedrice]

Ah Beauty and the beast. A movie that my family and I saw 3 times and always ended on the 15min mark, where we either fell asleep or got so bored lost interest and decided to just go out of the house.

[@phyton9O]

oh god that doll made me laugh it looks like justin bieber on a dress

[@liketylickchick]

My man, your content is excellent. As a fellow Englishman, and bastard, I'll support your smack talk with the full weight and enthusiasm that the rest of us miserable sods have for anything. So I'll like and subsribe, I guess. Edit: typo fix - guess I can't spell

[@jeydangosman699]

I’ve been binging your videos. How does this channel not have more subscribers?!?

[@atenakehnaton3965]

Not many videos but quality. I subbed with batted breath.....(sigh)

[@heetsees]

Runs away from 1s and 0s. Wisdom and comedy. Greater Powers bless you.

[@Krautvault]

Always a pleasant surprise. Good shit!

[@georgeabdellaiv4227]

Huge new fan! My friends and I listen to you shit talk shit movies at work and it makes the day much better! Would personally love a review of any old 80 slasher flick!

[@VoxisProductions]

Oh thank you

[@25xxfrostxx]

I think "I'm going to have a pork noodle, and a wank" is my favorite line from any video so far.

[@sherlockholmes539]

That email at the end made me laugh. I had a picture of Emma lecturing my nieces. And them throwing cake at her.

[@PaceBreaker]

You were on fire with this one. Drunk Professor Tosspot is more hilarious than when he's sober.

[@clevernamerighthere9240]

“I have assembled a search party to find your lost bottom”- best quote of all time.

[@juanesmit8417]

So unapologetically non pc that is refressing, great review and awesomly delivered, thanks. The email at the end is poetry. Ad Astra.

[@vermis8344]

I watched the Harry Potter films for the first time over the lockdown. I noticed that all the child actors improved over the series, more or less, _except_ Emma Watson.

[@shadestrider1033]

At least Hermoine could emote in those films (somewhat). She became Daisy Ridley in this one. Meaning she’s the only one that actually got worse. Then again, what has Rupert Grint been up to? Haven’t heard from him recently.

[@shirleymental4189]

Yeh but at least she aged into a legal shag

[@thedeadd.c.207]

​​@@shadestrider1033he has done a couple of TV appearances, but he is happy being an ice cream salesman and being a dad

[@xdrtas]

This is amazing, I laughed from beginning to end. I hope you can continue with this reviews. And i wish for you more subscribers. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[@thedeadd.c.207]

"Odd would be running around smearing shit on the walls in a wedding dress" i too would pay to see that movie blessed pipeman.

[@pp312]

More pure gold from the mother lode. I haven't even seen this movie and I still found this totally hilarious. I've asked before but I'll ask again: why has Prof. Tosspot not gone viral? Why is he not the sensation of the internet? There's something fishy in Denmark, or wherever they fish the most in Scandinavia. Hope you get better soon, Prof. Unless scintillating wit and good health are incompatible, in which case you'd better stay sick. :)

[@VoxisProductions]

Thank you for your kind words. You kick ass viewers are why I do this stuff.

[@Internetzspacezshipz]

From the windooooowww, TO THE WALL.

[@abbie_joan]

( _to the wall_ )

[@deanspencerart]

These review have me literally crying with laughter, keep up the great work!

[@chrishunter8305]

This video still reminds me of the wise words of one Scotsman..."Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and you'll have the time of your life"...well...we will watching the professor get pissed watching this stuff...his liver on the other hand isn't as greatful.

[@cimmychonga]

I'm a new sub and fan, do blade runner electric boogaloo 2

[@vordivask4059]

HES BACK

[@hal900x]

This is such a wonderful channel. It really cheers me up immensely, every time.

[@ziplockcreations2313]

I love going back through these videos from Voxis Productions. Drunk Tosspot is the best Tosspot.

[@meggrotte4760]

Dear Professor this ending I enjoyed very much. Thank you=)

[@bernardblack6116]

You are simply the best at what you do.