Why Are Boys' Bedrooms Like ... That?

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sources:
Why Do So Many Adult Men Keep Their Mattresses On The Floor? - www.vice.com/en/article/vbwvq...
Men: Why Do You Only Have Maroon or Navy Bed Sheets? - www.vice.com/en/article/7kxm7...
The Myth That Gets Men Out of Doing Chores - www.theatlantic.com/family/ar...
Men are being called out by women on TikTok for using ‘weaponised incompetence’ to avoid chores - www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/art...
Owning A Bed Frame Is Not An Accomplishment - / owning-a-bed-frame-is-...
I’m a boyfriend who uses weaponised incompetence. Can I change? - www.gq-magazine.co.uk/lifesty...
Emasculated Men Refuse to Do Chores-Except Cooking - www.theatlantic.com/health/ar...
Even Breadwinning Wives Don’t Get Equality at Home - www.theatlantic.com/family/ar...
Why Teen Boys Have More Leisure Time Than Teen Girls - www.theatlantic.com/family/ar...
Most mums admit favouring sons, say researchers - www.theguardian.com/society/2...
Family relationships: did you grow up thinking your mum treated your brother differently to you? - www.stylist.co.uk/relationshi...
time stamps:
00:00 - intro
05:00 - boys' bedrooms
17:44 - boys will be boys
22:04 - the girlfriend to mother pipeline
***FOR BUSINESS ENQUIRIES ONLY***
[e-mail]

[@leela8641]

had my heart broken by a boy who didn’t have sheets on his bed, with a big yellowish stain on his mattress. never again. never again.

[@moonblvd_]

honestly that might be on you should've known better, glad that you care more about yourself now 😭🫶

[@leela8641]

@@moonblvd_to be fair the only time I saw his dorm, it was when he was breaking up with me!! 😭😭😭😭

[@anzaia2164]

Tbf anything will stain a mattress yellow. I got a big stain on mine from it getting rained on. I'm not doubting that your guy's bed was filthy, without a sheet I'm sure it was. I just want to say that a stain alone doesn't have to mean that anything's wrong with the bedding.

[@Zelomakitoko]

my first bf always came out of the bathroom with a pee stain on his boxers, and i still stuck around for 3 years fml

[@botanicalitus4194]

@@Zelomakitokowe need to do better. All of us need to collectively raise our standards bc these guys cant keep getting away with this 😭

[@Honeyhams]

This whole phenomenon gives "Fellas, is it gay to respect and take care of yourself and your space?"

[@crunchevo8974]

no but for real. there are places like r/malelivingspace which has men acting like picking a frame with flowers in it is too feminine and will ruin the vibes. luckily a lot of the people on there actually have good taste and call out how ludicrous it is that if a man has a lovely warm and cozy space to relax in it's seen as less socially acceptable than an office chair in a liminal space between life and wherever that apartment is. dudes gotta stop being so scared of what other people will think and start thinking about what makes them happy, take action to make that a reality and just enjoy their space.

[@dia5131]

LOLLL I see this with that whole looksmaxxing stuff like....guys....it's okay to be sleeping well and having a skin care routine and a well balanced diet.....ur not gay or feminine for that...u don't have to give it some masculine name LMAO

[@GayToBeHere]

Sadly gay men also do that kind of things omg. My ex-roomate was gay and his room looked like hell.

[@AIBot929]

​@@dia5131Yeah, Idk why men decided being dirty, with clogged pores, dirty finger nails and no furniture is masculine

[@Darendddd]

it is not about being gay or feminine, just boy don't realy care about that things, with age they understand what need organize space, but for youg age that not seems very important, but of cpurse nt everyone like that, some girls can be messy too. Not for everyone that things is interesting.

[@kayleighmay2557]

Navy bedsheets are better than the dreaded... NO SHEETS I was sharing my ick-list with a male friend once, just for fun. I told him "no bedsheets" was on there and he thought I was joking. He told me he had a date that night that he was really hoping would go well and he hoped she didn't have the same ick-list, because he had no bed sheets. Anyway... he ended buying bed sheets before she arrived 🤣 The date didn't go well, but now he has bedsheets 🙃

[@chisomo8088]

I feel like having no sheets is even more disgusting than having navy sheets. At least you can be compelled to wash it every once in a while. But imagine raw dogging your mattress every night for Lord knows how long cause you can't even wash it, that's just wild to me.

[@kayleighmay2557]

@@chisomo8088 I agree … you could have the same disgusting mattress for years and years 🥲

[@eev14]

I will say that as an adhd woman I absolutely have gotten much more exaggerated responses to my apartment being messy in comparison to any men I know with the same level of messiness (or more) in their house. With men a lot of people still tend to give messy guys the advice of finding themselves a girlfriend, either as motivation to clean or because that future girlfriend would do it for him.. The advice we get as women with messy homes is to just buckle up and fix it asap. It's taken me several years to get a cleaning help for once a week in my home to help me stay on top of things, I have been avoiding meeting anyone in my own home because I feel the judgement from people is really harsh. I'm not a dirty person, but I struggle with organizing and for women that's seen as completely unacceptable so we tend to hide out in our house more, I wouldn't be surprised if many women with messy homes are more socially isolated than men in the same situation.

[@Eloraurora]

This, very much. Even when I was a kid, I scarcely ever felt comfortable inviting people over, because my room was always a mess.

[@eev14]

@@Eloraurora I didn't even think about that but yes! I remember always asking my friends if we could play at their house, both because my room was messy and because my parents fought a lot.

[@faerieliana]

Interesting, how people not advising to these men to hire a cleaning, but of finding a girlfriend, so she will clean up. O mean, why pay for cleaning, when you can find yourself a free maid, great advice

[@eev14]

@@faerieliana I think most interesting is that women aren't usually given this same advice, that they aren't being pushed to ask their loved ones for help but rather to roll up your sleeves and just 'get to work'. Recently I've been watching a lot of this UK show about hoarders and people with cleaning OCD, it's called 'Filth', women (especially mothers) are often berated on their poor living conditions and called lazy. The men often receive more sympathy and are labeled as eccentric and/or depressed, one of the most common reasons those men cite for their house getting out of control is a former partner or spouse either dying or leaving them. The women usually admit they 'should' be more responsible but a lot of the men tend to keep hoping for a (new) woman in their life to take on the responsibility for them.

[@rhythmandblues_alibi]

I relate to this so much. There is a lot of shame attached to having a messy home, I often feel like a failure as a partner and yes, I avoid having people round and isolate a lot due to social anxiety and deoression. It is really hard because being surrounded by clutter makes me feel down and the depression leaves me with no motivation to clean. It's an awful cycle. My partner is not very tidy himself so it is a real struggle. I have recently learnt that clutter is a symptom of trauma. Interesting how OCD and hoarding are both responses to trauma but one is lauded as a virtue (in terms of cleaning) whereas the other is demonised as a personal failing.

[@1234scann]

My ex and I would constantly fight about chores, I looked at him once and said "I've met your mother and she's not me" He would constantly claim that I was not clean because I refused to clean up after him so the apartment was messy. It's funny that once he moved out the apartment magically remained clean almost all the time.

[@NormaLeeIWood]

I relate to this so much. I'm now grateful for my nice, clean apartment that no longer magically dirties itself, lol.

[@l1liapad81]

I hate how these types of men expect every woman they date to magically become their mom and clean up after them and do all the chores for them🧍

[@J_Mock92]

My place was always a disaster because of my ex. I'd clean something and then my partner would create a giant mess... We're both men, but he's more of a "typical" guy. I'd clean the bathroom sink, and he'd choose that day to trim his beard. I'd scrub down the whole kitchen, and then there's dirty dishes and stuff spilled all over the counter or burned to the stove the next day. It gets disheartening so I just didnt even bother cleaning up sometimes anymore..... Meanwhile, he'd complain if I leave makeup out on the desk or something after getting ready... Like wtf? 🙄

[@KirillManenkov-ug7fz]

​@@l1liapad81What's the point of having a gf who doesn't want to clean up the sh it in the first place?

[@l1liapad81]

@@KirillManenkov-ug7fz that’s not the point I was tryna get across. What I was tryna say is that woman do not want a man that will just treat them like their mother and expect her to do everything for him while he does nothing to help, a good man would help his girlfriend/wife with chores and cleaning. They must work together to keep the relationship healthy

[@oldegregory9597]

"Their IKEA mattress is just raw-dogging the floor" killed me 🤣

[@eponymouscharacter]

This makes me appreciate my husband so much. We met in our mid twenties. When I went to his apartment for the first time, I was so impressed with the cleanliness, neatness, the modest but well thought out furnishings, his full set of crockery and small decorative touches like a vase with fake flowers in the bathroom. He was travelling a lot for work at the time so I would have understood if it was more of a “boy room” because he spent so little time there. Now we’re married and have a very even split of chores. It is possible!

[@purplelove3666]

He shouldn't appreciate him because he cleans,you should appreciate him because he is your husband and he fits your criteria. You are appreciating him for doing the basics as a human

[@lakritz8732]

That’s such a green flag. When a men has a decorated apartment, good lighting, some functional details in the kitchen, a laundry routine and a little garbage can in the bathroom it just shows he’s developed enough a person to care for himself and others.

[@ag5415]

I wish this topic was touched on: As a woman cohabitating with a male partner I spend more of my income on household goods from cleaning supplies to replacing worn bedding or towels as well as what might seem like "unnecessary" and "decor" such as curtains and rugs. Hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars out. I pay attention to when we are about to run out of things and replace before we are out whether it's toilet paper , batteries or lightbulbs.

[@destinedknee]

Then you don’t want to seem like it’s “tit for tat” since you guys are a partnership but in the end tell their ass to start reimbursing you!!!! Especially if they’re benefiting from it ( ex. using those paper towels AS SOON as you put it in the roll but if you didn’t go out and buy them there wouldn’t be any damn paper towels) if you spent $100 on replenishing household goods tell hubby send you 50-75 back .. If they have a problem they can always contribute 💁🏾‍♀️. Hope this helps even tho you didn’t even ask for any sorry for the dump 😅

[@djlivvy46]

Yes, Mel Hamlett and Cecilia Regina have both posted some extremely eye opening TikToks on what men do (and don't do) with their money.

[@bigcats9454]

So why do you stay in the relationship if you’re being exploited?

[@faerieliana]

Why are you doing it? Why not say something to your man?

[@no_peace]

Yeah like it's your hobby or something. It's so irritating

[@elizabethcassidy8082]

As a woman who has "boy" cleaning habits, including a high tolerance for terrible messes, I fully understand women being disgusted with 'boy bedrooms'. It's a symbol that you won't pull your weight in having a good household. I don't want to clean up your damn messes; I already hate cleaning up, I'm not cleaning up your shit. This whole housework problem where men refuse to clean up, is an anecdotal reason as why women are refusing to partner up, or choosing to become housewives. Like, they're going to be cleaning anyway, so why the fuck should they have 2 jobs?

[@ville__]

Didnt ask. I lUV ANIMAL ABVSE. My content is more entertaining has more substance than this utubers entire career. Eye posted proof...,c

[@JulesssRules]

EXACTLY! I am a highly eligible single young woman and I just CANNOT get myself to commit to a man for this very reason. I’d rather be alone! I’ve lived with men in the past and it’s always a mess.

[@asliceofcake6490]

Yuppp. What you describe with the 2 jobs is also called "the third shift." I moved into my guy friend's living situation really hoping it wouldn't be the case, but it was. I don't mind messes but when you aren't cleaning up when living with someone it's so clear you expect the other person (in my case, me ;-;) to handle it.

[@worstusernameintheworld9871]

as an AFAB person who is also messier than most "boys", you put my thoughts into words better than i ever could honestly, and it's the reason why I'm glad to be ace/aro so i don't drag other people into my mess

[@jalapeno1119]

Clocked it

[@wekillhearts]

When you said "hasn't washed his bed sheets since July" I was confused for a moment because July 2024 hasn't even come yet until I realized you meant JULY 2023 ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

No matter what month it is 😭😭 sheets shouldn't go unwashed for more than a week! 2 weeks max! Specially if it's hot in the place they live, imagine the sweat that sheet has absorbed 😭😭😭😭😭

[@jessmacdd]

​@ imagine the smell my god. i would get crazy acne from that

[@MissKashira]

When she said that I assumed I was watching an old video. Imagine my horror upon scrolling down and discovering it wasn't even a day old.

[@l.s.d.5863]

This is my ex. I'm not great about cleaning, especially during my depressive periods, but I kept up a bare minimum of hygienic decency around our place at least. And I always felt bad about not doing enough around the house, while he did literally nothing. I assumed that once I left, he'd have to "go back" to taking care of himself. I was wrong. I recently went by his place to pick something up of mine, a year after our break-up. I don't think he's washed the sheets, his clothes, or himself since we broke up. It was like a crack house. It was fucking vile. Suddenly I don't feel like I was the reason our house was often messy. lol

[@GrinMonister]

As a girl, I only wash my bedding every few months. The dryer in my apartment building takes multiple loads to dry bedding, so it ends up costing about $10. I don't have $10 to spend every week to wash bedding!

[@sailorspice]

I know ppl r joking about the “fellas is it gay to decorate and clean my bedroom” thing but unironically my boyfriend (who is heterosexual) has actually been harassed and called the f slur by his college roommates for putting up art decor on his walls and literally just buying nice looking bed sheets… he cares a lot about his appearance and the same goes for his living space as its always very clean and tidy. It got so extreme that his roommates got JEALOUS HIS ROOM WAS CLEAN and would TRASH his room for no reason besides to be bullies and tell him he was too uptight (even tho he never told them they need to clean and would barely interact). Needless to say that they r not roommates anymore lmaoo. actually crazy how many men r so homophobic they literally cant even let themselves have a good looking pair of bed sheets or even RESPECT when other men have higher standards of cleanliness or like to decorate without outright trying to harass them. It 100% stems from the parents in my opinion men telling their sons tht the wife needs to do the cleaning etc or just thru observed behaviors where maybe the woman in those households r pulling the domestic weight 100% so their sons never learn

[@AW-uv3cb]

that is so sad...

[@dmb1745]

Men bring each other down when they promote toxic masculinity like this... crabs in a bucket mentality

[@BrgArt]

as a man i can tell you it's our daily life from 12 to 20~ years old. you do anything remotely "girly" and instantly you're gay and your whole life is getting beaten up during recess.

[@matty6878]

maybe your bf was called the f slur for other reasons...

[@solsy]

​@@matty6878that doesn't justify the use of the slur wtf 😭

[@MissKashira]

I once had a male roommate who prided himself on not spending money on unnecessary things like paintings and other stuff that served no "logical" purpose. But his computer glowed like Gay Mardi Gras, so.... it's okay for men to care about aesthetics, but only in a very finite number of areas.

[@KISSFanDan1995]

Coming from a computer guys perspective, they don’t make gaming performance PC parts anymore that don’t have RGB led’s in them anymore. So that’s why his, and my computer looks like an EDM concert as soon as I press the power button. And personally I like the aesthetic. And I’d personally spend my money on something that I use on a daily basis rather than some painting for my bedroom that I’ll probably never look at. But that’s just me.

[@MissKashira]

@@KISSFanDan1995 You and my former roommate would get along so well. You are soooo doing the thing right now. First you defend yourself claiming that the high quality PC parts only come in pretty, so really, your hand is forced. Okay, fair enough. But then you admit that you like that it's pretty because you use it all the time, unlike a painting which you might never look at. My dude, how much time do you spend looking at your tower? Don't you look at the wall behind your monitor(s) even more? Wouldn't putting something you find meaningful or aesthetically pleasing be just as valuable (and less annoying) as sitting next to a glow stick? And did you choose wallpaper? How is choosing something you find pretty or reflective of your personality and interests for your desktop different/superior/more logical than having your living space reflective of your personality, interests and tastes? It's not. It's just socially acceptable for men to care about making some things pretty while it's not socially acceptable for them to care about making other things pretty.

[@KISSFanDan1995]

@@MissKashira Well my computer tower is sitting right up here on my desk next to my monitor because I’m proud of it. I built it myself. And I also have a vintage desk fan and a typewriter that I like that I got out of a dumpster for free and those are sitting on my desk as well. And getting wallpaper and pictures and whatnot. It isn’t my thing. I like my space the way it is. And besides, why hate on other peoples living spaces. If someone wants to get new wallpaper and paintings and whatnot, that’s fine. If someone just wants a bed, a dresser and a TV that’s fine too. As long as it’s not messy/dirty why judge?

[@MissKashira]

@@KISSFanDan1995 I am neither hating nor judging. I am saying men care about these things just as much as women do and you can tell by looking at the areas where it's socially acceptable for them to care about these things. And that they rationalize the areas where they are allowed to care as somehow being more logical and reasonable, when really it's as arbitrary as blue for boys and pink for girls. Saying men care about aesthetics too isn't an attack and you should really examine why you're reading that as an attack.

[@massimo4307]

​@@MissKashiraWhy is it socially acceptable for privileged women to judge men's living arrangements?

[@amekat]

the chores wage gap GAGGED me thats insane

[@tayanahemphill7110]

Fr!!!!😢

[@idontneedaname318]

You can't claim it's a difference in career demographics bc they're KIDS

[@Joannefibracs9994]

Honestly I get it. I feel like girls feel more internally motivated to brush their teeth, or brush their hair, even bathe, or hang up clothes. The boys couldn’t care less. Thus, they must be bribed to literally take care of their hygiene. So I 100% get it-their chores have to be so bare minimum for them.

[@kitsterangel]

Yeah that one's pretty crazy! I wonder how the parents justify it to the kids bc I would argue so hard against it haha. I mean we didn't get an allowance bc chores were just a normal part of daily life according to my parents, which fair enough, but still.

[@kimmmy86]

Same. I didn’t grow up with brothers, and no idea. I’m glad to know all this, because I can make a more conscious effort to make sure it’s equal with my kids.

[@squimbling]

forever grateful to have a boyfriend with a tidy room that actually has personality???? it's got to the point where all the other lads in his house have come to him for bedroom decoration advice, these men in their twenties are only just discovering the joys of a nice print or mood lighting and it's fascinating bahahaha

[@Onnarashi]

Why do women care so much what random men do with THEIR spaces?

[@m.z1256]

@@Onnarashi WHAT

[@dulcecaramel]

@@m.z1256its a troII thats obsessively replying to every comment, best to ignore

[@m.z1256]

@@dulcecaramel makes sense

[@ville__]

Didnt ask. I lUV ANIMAL ABVSE. My content is more entertaining has more substance than this utubers entire career. Eye posted proof...c

[@kellerlee2510]

There’s no way British people say washing up powder instead of detergent I cant believe that

[@asafoetidajones8181]

The soap they use on dishes is not called dish soap.... it's called, get ready, Fairy Liquid

[@chisomo8088]

​@@asafoetidajones8181what are your even saying? Fairy Liquid is just a popular brand

[@ag5415]

@@asafoetidajones8181 My favorite is "Fairy Floss" for what Americans call Cotton Candy. Much more magical.

[@brzt4256]

@@asafoetidajones8181 obviously nobody has ever used that term before and you've been lied to, but we do call it 'washing up liquid'. Because, well, that's what it is.

[@ReReChan]

When I noticed that I started to do more chores than my husband, I literally just stopped cleaning his mess. I only cleaned my dishes, wash my own laundry, cook my own food, etc.

[@destinedknee]

Felt this. But being confined to a one bedroom The stuff becomes an eye sore and I start being miserable so I’ll “straighten up” his stuff but I’m not organizing his shìt anymore

[@mamadoom9724]

Same here. I’m tired of doing everything and my husband and kids making things harder for me. The kids (teens) pile dishes in their rooms then bring them to the sink with food dried onto them. They throw the clean laundry I folded all over the floor. My husbands always walking over my mopped floor with muddy boots and literally dripping food and drinks all over the front of the kitchen cupboards and floor. I just told them I’m not cleaning up after them anymore. I cook for myself and do my own dishes and laundry.

[@elise85391]

@@mamadoom9724 I started doing my own laundry when I was a young teenager, just because I didn't want any of my stuff getting mixed in with someone else's stuff and not being able to find it. Teens should definitely be able to do their own laundry, so yeah, if they aren't appreciating that you were folding all of their laundry for the to put away, let them do it themselves.

[@mermaidmaterial5735]

@@mamadoom9724 good for you! I hope that you'll be able to follow through and not crumble under everyone's irresponsibility. I understand it must be very discouraging to see loved ones disregard your hard work

[@purplewine7362]

talking to your husband also helps

[@imani0nline]

Every time I see a boy room all I can think of is Whoopi Goldberg saying, I don't want a man in my house. She was so real for that !

[@Onnarashi]

As a man I can respond by saying I don't want a woman devaluing my hobbies and interests and changing everything to suit her, so right back at you. You can keep your throw pillows, floral patterns, astrology wall tapestry, Live Laugh Love wall decorations and scented candles.

[@dulcecaramel]

@@OnnarashiGuys: "I dOnT waNt WoMeN deValUiNg My HobBiEs AnD iNtErEsTs" the hobbies and interests in question: Not cleaning, not doing chores

[@sophaloph1129]

@@dulcecaramelhe could’ve just said “I don’t want a woman in my house” but no he had to bring in the sexism by reducing women to decor 😭😭😭

[@Onnarashi]

@@dulcecaramel You know that's not it. Nice strawman though.

[@recklessmermaid]

@@Onnarashieither you didn’t watch the video we are all commenting under, or you’re being willfully stupid. Hobbies where? Interests, what? If you can’t follow the discussion all the way to the point, maybe just quiet down and let the adults talk 😉

[@taytayslayslayslay]

also a key feature: pulp fiction poster

[@hamilcross]

interchangeable with 2001 a space odyssey and wolf of wall street posters

[@queer_arabic]

​@@hamilcrossor a fight club one

[@ellierecine2021]

or a fight club poster 😭

[@bulletproofblouse]

Back in the 1990s, Betty Blue.

[@grandempressvicky6387]

Or American Pyscho

[@unamejames]

I think there is a difference between interest in decorating and lack of motivation for housework. When it comes to decorating, men aren't habituated to the judgmental gaze of others to the point that it follows them home and they're wondering what people will think of their clothing storage. I guess TikTok is changing that, but I'm not sure that's a good thing. When I was buying stuff for my apartment, it was completely utilitarian and I was hesitant to bother going for aesthetics because I knew I would be moving every few years anyway. I wish I had thought to use plastic bins for my clothes, because then I could still be using those bins for something now instead of having bought crap from IKEA just to throw into the landfill.

[@greenscythe8940]

For situation like that they have stick cabinets you can just disassemble like for camping.

[@namedrop721]

I feel you. I’ve lived in situations where I had to move around a lot and money was tight and I did do the bins thing. Why on earth would I spend half my grocery budget on some cheap plastic shit I can’t reuse and probably won’t have space for when I get where I’m going was the thinking. That being in the same category as ‘moldy yellow pillow’ is pretty classist tbh Sorry let me just go to Pottery Barn real quick for some essential throws

[@karkador]

fr what's the point of buying all this decorative space-wasting stuff. im not gonna let my space get dirty, but i'm not gonna populate it with random things either

[@tempyD0nn0]

that sounds awful cant you just decorate for the sake of decorating how empty and vapid must u become to not even have peace within ur own four walls

[@Tymptra]

Yep that's definitely a big missing link in this video. Me and my roommates aren't messy, but we don't have a bunch of decorative stuff either. We simply don't really care about it. What works, works. And frankly, sometimes what is described as "messy" is simply a matter of personal preference. I definitely think that the "chore wage gap" is real, but I wonder if it is somewhat exaggerated by women generally having higher cleaning standards and doing more cleaning than is (imo) necessary. For example, I vacuum the floors in my room like once a month. If someone thinks that it needs to be done twice a month that will increase the amount of chore time they do. Replicate that among various tasks and I can easily see where that 1hr per week difference comes from.

[@woodanemone9758]

A friend of mine told a horror story about her bf's former roommate. They were 5 guys sharing a flat for a year, and when they moved out, this guy had tacos under his bed... from the night they moved in!

[@Eloraurora]

We weren't allowed food in our barracks during AIT because someone from the last class had been hiding empty pizza boxes in the ceiling.

[@woodanemone9758]

@@Eloraurora Isn't that classic, one does something stupid and then everybody else has to suffer. We had our water taps taken away in high school because a few of the students vandalized them with dirt and rocks. So then everybody had to bring a bottle or go thirsty.

[@elizabethcassidy8082]

Surprised that you haven't mentioned explicitly that bedframes have a functional purpose. Just like the tatami mats, the bedframes help keep your mattress dry and not moldy. By keeping your mattress bare ass on the floor, you're encouraging the rotting of the mattress

[@palomina8494]

So true ! I was waiting for her to say that as well. But apparently it's not common knowledge (no shade on Jordan tho she probably just forgot). I have this female friend (24 yo mind you) that just the other day decided to get rid of her bed frame that was taking too much space in her room to put her bare mattress on the CARPETED floor. When I told her that was going to become a pit of hell she just looked at me stunned : 0o0 and told me I was "no fun".

[@gato_comunista3802]

@@palomina8494 also how is a bed frame taking space??? you can literally put boxes under it to have more storage! lol

[@palomina8494]

@@gato_comunista3802 I know ! But I believe that it is just a perception thing, it looked to her as if it was taking more space bc she likes things to be more minimalistic 🤷

[@timothyreal]

This is a good point; the purpose of bed frames isn’t obvious just from looking at it. When I was younger, I just thought it was some kind of design preference or a way to add storage space. I’m fine with giving 20-something bachelors the benefit of the doubt for not spending hundreds of dollars on something they (incorrectly) think is mostly for aesthetic value. Not washing sheets, on the other hand…

[@snailcheeseyoutube]

she kind of did, she did talk about the moisture

[@xenaloree1138]

I once saw a man LYSOL his bed because washing his bed sheets was “too much work”

[@kateb2643]

Jesus, he's gotta get a lot of rashes doing that

[@worstusernameintheworld9871]

how does he even sleep on that 💀

[@amylaws]

NO OH MY GOD

[@thecolorjune]

Wtf

[@sinestesianestesia9079]

LMAOO

[@kieranhitchings4470]

As a man to be honest it usually boils down to a)we’re poor b) we’re depressed or c) it really doesn’t take that much to make us happy.

[@anthonywestbrook2155]

I dated a woman who at first suspected I was gay because I made my bed every day. Like, she was worried it was a sign that she shouldn't date me. Only reason her worries were assuaged is that, at the time, what I really did was sleep on top of one blanket that was always made, and had another blanket I'd pull from the closet for sleep. It's not just bros that reinforce gender tropes.

[@tessadeighton4034]

“It’s not just bros that reinforce gender tropes”, but it is only men that benefit from them

[@joeydoherty368]

I thought you were a girl when I first started reading your comment, so when you said, "I dated a woman who thought I was gay.", I was thinking, "What did I miss here??"

[@marieseaman7855]

Okay but in Japan, the futon is different from a western mattress. Also the futon is hung outside on nice days to air it out. People in Japan put their western mattresses iyn bed frames though, they absolutely do not just put it on the floor.

[@janaekelis]

yeah its also a thing to put your futon in the closet during the day to utilise the space. mattresses are not meant to raw dog the floor!

[@DerpinaTheBrave]

I live in a western country and sleep on a Japanese futon and I actually have a spcialised bedframe for it. No excuses lol

[@marieseaman7855]

@@DerpinaTheBrave Oh yeah, specialized frames if there are no tatami. Definitely no excuses!

[@No1PlutoSupporter]

Exactlyyyy and ive been looking into futons as guest beds for my parents’ house and on a video, someone japanese had commented its actually pretty normalized in japan to have westernized beds

[@janaekelis]

@marieseaman7855 adding to this, japanese tatami flooring is so different from laying on tile, carpet or hardwood like in the US 😭 the temperature and absorbency especially

[@knotyourcup0ftea]

Never thought I’d have to be grateful for the fact that when I started dating my spouse, he already had a cheap bedframe from IKEA and a bright orange rug that he was immensely proud of picking out. The bar is in hell.

[@fortunatecookie]

I actually really like using orange rugs or pillows because it pairs nicely with the color teal, which is my favorite ❤️ Did he get to keep his rug? Or was it sent to the attic lol

[@kelseybarton]

@@fortunatecookieeeeeee orange and teal 💓

[@elise85391]

Seriously. Like, if you lived with your parents as a child, take the bedframe from your bedroom at your parents house!! That's what I'm gonna do. Unless you're moving long distance, why wouldn't you take old furniture from your parents house? Odds are, the house is cluttered, and your parents might be glad to get rid of some things, saves them time and effort if/when they downsize later. And if the house has enough bedrooms, they can use your room for things they've been wanting to use it for, for their own hobbies and stuff.

[@massimo4307]

Yea, the bar for women is in hell, when men are forced to put up with used up misandrists

[@Islander185]

Wish I could find a rug I like, I'm been looking for ages. I built my own bed frame, I built my own house haha.

[@laflaf125]

When I was at university and we had viewings for student houses, it was always the ones with male tenants that were so dirty and messy it was honestly repulsive. It's weird because usually the letting agents let you know when a viewing is going to happen, so these men supposedly knew they were going to have people view their house, yet they left it in that state. There was such a contrast when we viewed houses with female tenants. To me it just reflected gender roles and social conditioning. Girls are often raised to be able to clean their living space more so than boys.

[@tinkdnuos]

Are you sure men are all waiting for a woman to decorate? Or do most of them really just not care?

[@robertsmith-williams5255]

yeah, care about anything at all. Or is it that the entitlement is just so great that they just expect it to magic-happen one day, and will just build up a big head of resentment and rage that "their life isn't going to plan". Like men who are desperately touch-starved but conflate touch with "intimacy" so get mad that they don't have "a special intimate friend", when really they want/need is healthy relationships with friends and family as well. The combination of fear and laziness is so huge and obvious, it's sad.

[@CanofArizona]

Honestly, I listened to most of this video (bout 20 minutes) but it comes off as "not that deep". It really just comes down to the fact that men don't need much in their living spaces if they are single. A woman does need/want those things. Which is why their spaces are decorated. Men and Women care about different things. That is absolutely A-OK. You know, the first time I heard the term "retail therapy" came from a female co-worker. That was only a couple months ago, needless to say I was mind blown by it. But it makes sense considering women are doing most of the buying anyway. I didn't really care that she engaged in this, I only made a snarky comment back because, like most women do when I talk to them, they want to push their ways onto me. I accept that women have different interests, and it's not that deep. I only ask that they respect mine how I respect theirs.

[@Niriixa]

The video isn't just about decorating, it's also about cleanliness and how there's societal differences between how boys and girls are socialized and brought up to care/not care about cleanliness and taught chores. Maybe watch the video again. Not caring about decorating or even putting basic furnishings in one's own home can have similar reasons.

[@tinkdnuos]

@@Niriixa but it's PARTIALLY about decorating. I don't need to watch the video again. You need to be less illiterate.

[@tinkdnuos]

@@robertsmith-williams5255 damn, you shouldn't project your fucked up mental problems onto the rest of us.

[@heddadybvadskog-nebb5603]

My brother- who mind you is the ELDEST sibling- didn't "learn" how to put sheets on his bed and make it up properly until he was 20. Let it be known that from age 19-20 he was in the military and had to make his bed every single morning and still he would come home every time he was on leave moaning for our mum to do it because he "didn't know how" and she just let him get away with it. And it pissed me off so bad. Our younger sister was 11 when he finally "learnt how" and she had been doing her own bed for 3.4 year by then and I also started around 7-8. In general I find having an older brother, at least in terms of respect for the environment we live in, like living with a 2 year old who throws shit everywhere and just lets the "cleaning up fairy" aka my mum or I fix it without as much as a thank you bc they are so used to someone else cleaning that they don't even notice anymore. Last summer my mum and sister decided to revoke his status as the oldest bc frankly he doesn't do anything to deserve it.

[@caseyw.6550]

Sounds like your mom was a "boy mom"....mine, too. 😒

[@gabiggray]

NOT REVOKING the eldest status! lmaooooo fair though

[@borkbork4124]

When you learned how to wash your clothes at age 8, then date a guy (20) when I was 19, and said his mom does that…..followed by an awkward silence.

[@bookofdaveandsteve]

harsh. but fair 👍

[@leann1234]

So your brother knew how to make a bed, per his time in military, but came home & chose to use Weaponized Incompetence to get others to do chores for him.

[@sclements1193]

i can’t remember where i read it, but i looked into it for a uni project on sofia coppolas dipictions of bedrooms. they argued that women put so much care and place so much identity within their bedrooms since they were expected to be at home! men were socialised to be outside and working or being out with friends or dates etc etc where as they wanted to keep girls ‘safe’ in the house. thought this was a really interesting layer to this sort of conversation :)

[@hereforthechaos7614]

Yes, that actually makes a lot of sense, thank you for sharing!

[@shadycatz85]

except men will demand to have 'man caves' and put so much effort into decorating and caring for those. they don't want any of the responsibility of SHARED spaces as they see women as inherently in charge of those.

[@artvid-1915]

Wow thank you for this insight 👏🏻

[@kdramaresearchinstitute]

This reminds me of that one task we had in art class in high school: when you have to draw by using perspective, all the girls in class always drew a room inside a building and all the boys always drew a street with buildings..

[@nightingalenef1764]

Interesting point..., maybe it's also related with what space is considered by what group as a recreational space. As far as I observed, single women love to spend time in their homes; it's recreational and above it, a safe space!

[@intranexine8901]

From the position of a NB person, I find some this quite problematic. "Doing a chore badly" isn't weaponized incompetence, if someone has higher standarts they have to do it themselves, YES. Why have demands about someone else's room in the first place? That's fucking weird and invasive?! Also, living a low maintenance life isn't a demand from someone for their partner to do the maintenance, that seems like a Neurotypical assumption, Like they're reading a hidden request into something that isn't one. Maybe just ask if they even want you to redecorate, maybe they're happy with the priority's they set. I might be out of touch with both cis men and cis women but it just kinda looks like you are all trying to push your patriarchal conditioning the other genders. Women's socialisation isn't the antidote to partiarchy, your biases are as much a part of it as men's. Maybe it's not your boyfriend that put you into the role of a mother for him, but your own social conditioning. The enemy is in your head too 👁️ 👁️ Might be talking out of my ass though, again I'm not really doing gender expectations much myself, so it's kind of an outside perspective on the conflict.

[@justthecoolestdudeyo9446]

I definitely think the gender socialization difference plays a part, but I also think it's not as separate from mental health issues as this discussion implied. Of the people who I know that live that way (of which I'm going to be one of them lol my bedframe broke), nearly all of them were also clearly depressed. That being said, as you pointed out, women still face more pressure and less accommodation when their depression results in threadbare living situations.

[@alexcoop8068]

I've gone into seeing the guy that I'm seeing right now fully 100% wanting to be casual-and don't get me wrong I do NOT want a serious relationship rn-but I been in my feelings a lil bit lately and one of the things I clocked was that he washes his GREEN bedsheets once a week. I told him that's a big green flag and he said "girl that's just hygiene" and I think I fell inlove in that moment. 😭😂

[@alexcoop8068]

I actually asked him on our first date if he had navy or dark grey sheets and he was a lil confused. I also asked if he had a bed frame or an old crusty brown pillow with no case on it and he immediately knew what I was doing then LMAO

[@noreaeron]

the bar is so low im scared for us :,) /a girl who indeed dated grown men who probably never had washed his sheets until i did

[@ville__]

Didnt ask. I lUV ANIMAL ABVSE. My content is more entertaining has more substance than this utubers entire career. Eye posted proof...c

[@alexcoop8068]

@@noreaeron yeah he also told me I need to raise my standards LMAO to be fair he still has a boy room. His ENTIRE house is beautifully decorated by his super awesome girl roommate and his room is just empty and tiny hahahahaha

[@snailcheeseyoutube]

the bar is in hell

[@hollowpages482]

My roomate was going on a date, obviously he's hoping she'll come home with him so he was tidying his room. He said 'i havent washed my sheets for 6 months and i dont have time to wash them, do you think it would be fine to just vaccum the dog hair off?' He was SCANDALISED when i told him i wash my sheets every week. He had the audacity to tell me that it was too often.

[@thecolorjune]

That’s crazy. I only was my sheets every 2-4 weeks (I don’t wear makeup/tan, I don’t have pets, and I have AC) but I am always impressed with ppl who was their sheets weekly. 6 months unwashed WITH PETS for a DATE is so gross.

[@Tessa_Gr]

Every week is really often. If you only wear your sleeping clothes in bed, how would it even get dirty enough to need to be washed that often? Maybe if you sweat a lot at night in the summer, I'd get that. But only every 6 months is also not okay, obviously.

[@raluci]

I do them every week and worst case scenario every two weeks. I like my sheets clean ✨

[@oldasyouromens]

The only reason I sometimes don't wash my sheets for several months (3 maximum) is if I can't carry them down the stairs. If a man can carry a set of sheets down the stairs, he can change his sheets. But even I haven't gone six months, ever. I prefer to change them every one to two weeks.

[@seguaye]

@@Tessa_Gr most sources say every 1 - 2 weeks. bedsheets get dirty at about the same rate that clothes do, especially considering many people sleep naked or wear their day clothes to bed

[@claraaralc]

In a similar way, why do men not have parental leave? Why do I need to be the one to leave my work to have a child because I have access to the 1-2 years off with pay or partial pay, but the men in my company don't and my boyfriend doesn't. People complain about women taking time off to have kids but the thing is that we have to by default. Let's change the laws around parental leave!!

[@djlivvy46]

Lol, men like the status quo just fine. Also, I have heard of women who had househusbands but still had to start cooking and cleaning when they got home from work. I suspect that this is the reason for the status quo.

[@claraaralc]

@@djlivvy46 I'm not sure they all do though. One of my male colleagues had a baby last year and he had to use up his holiday days to stay home with his partner and baby. His partner also made more money so I feel like he night have been happy to take some time off instead of her.

[@destroyraiden]

some males do want that yet more males actually fight against it in the work place due to they'd have to spend time with their wives and kids which they go to work to avoid cuz they actually hate them so most males do not want paternal leave due to it would make all of them have no built in excuse to not also take it when their wives get pregnant. They also fight against family days or family day off time so that the males in the office do not have the excuse of "I can't my boss says I need to come in." if she knew their company had family leave for males she'd tell him use it to pickup the kids or take them here and these males do not want that. Too many working males who also adore their family have lost jobs, lost promotions, and were shunned out of their offices by the males & the top CEOs trying to make father friendly policies too many working males hate their families work is their oasis no mater what they say or how they whine they love it, it's their safe space.

[@wheedler]

Which country is that? I'm pretty sure some countries do have paternity leave, but I have no idea which ones.

[@claraaralc]

@@wheedler UK, it's only 2 weeks' leave though.

[@theophilegaudin2329]

I think that this analysis misses the mark when attributing men living minimalistic lifestyles to peer pressure. Men simply tend to not have any drive to express a personality by buying accessories that sit there "decorating", don't have a use and get in the way. Then we get a girlfriend and she wants to precisely do that so we adapt.

[@xg2513]

I have a really unique perspective on this because I’m a guy with fashion and home decor taste, and I always like to have my spaces decorated and nice. Something that’s happened in a few relationships now is that at first girls had been excited about the fact that I like home decor and I like to have a warm living space… but then at some point down the line, it ended up making the girls very upset because when discussing hypotheticals like moving in together they were immediately irritated that they couldn’t just decorate the whole space themselves with only things they like (typical straight relationship where the girl decorates everything and the guy just goes along with it) because I was a guy who has taste so I wanted to have an equal opinion on decor. It’s an interesting thing that’s happened to me specifically. The dynamic that women decorate the whole home and men just go along with it because they have no taste backfires when you’re a guy who has taste.

[@divebarr752]

Yeah, but I think that's so fun. My boyfriend also has his own style and a nice room (he loves nice wood furniture and sometimes bilds stuff too). And I'm so looking forward to moving in together and meshing our styles. At least our favorite colours are same so I think we can find a nice medium. He likes modern skandi and I'm into 60s/70s vintage

[@chegu613]

an opinion on decor is not taste.

[@magichoodoo5028]

Yeah I can see that happening.. I've also come across those memes where some girls get annoyed at their bf's for having hobbies and decor that ruin their "aesthetic". It really should be both people having a say in how the space gets decorated (if both care about it) but everyone's just used to it not being that way. Having a similar style to your partner would be perfect.. lol

[@jobplace5842]

As long as the opinion is not that of indifference then yes. It precisely is. By definition ​@chegu613

[@Br0ckR0cket]

It seems like most women want is a friendly work horse/ATM that they can occasionally use for sex but otherwise stays out of the way and looks the part for her.

[@cassidy3666]

Dated my first love for two years. Never again will I have my heart broken by someone who used the same pillow without a pillowcase or cover for the entire duration of our relationship.

[@seitanbeatsyourmeat666]

My first husband had a 20 year old pillow he refused to get rid of. I begged to wash it, even by hand. He was so angry I even suggested it… when I say it smelled like the back end of a farm animal, I’m being complementary. He didn’t want it touched I finally washed it, he claimed it was ruined. Didn’t care, the smell was horrendous 💩 💩

[@gato_comunista3802]

And they still have perfect skin... HOW ☠

[@hal7741]

@@gato_comunista3802he created a moist symbiotic ecosystem within the pillow and his skin barrier

[@trato-jm3fx]

Low stress and ok diet​@@gato_comunista3802

[@colbyboucher6391]

...god a lot of y'all would find me filthy but no pillowcase??? That thing just absorbed years of sleep drool, oh my god

[@rahulnuthakki123]

Man here. I am clean (have to be, OCD), have all the furniture, but I have no clue how to decorate. I had a couch, dining table, bedside table, coffee table, shelves etc. But that is it. I have zero thoughts to make it warm. No trinkets, no decorations, nothing. This is one of the issues where I think socialising has a large part to play. We were never taught / encouraged to look into those things, and this is the result. That and like, I genuinely think most men are fine with a living space like that. Like, it doesnt bother us. When I first moved out, all I had was a tv, a mattress and a bowl and a plate. I lived like that for two years, and it was..........fine. But the TV was like 50 inches and with a PS3 though ahha.

[@rahulnuthakki123]

Also, I should add. The reason I had refused to spend money on house things was because I saw furniture and decorations as a waste of money. Especially when I first moved out. I was barely scraping by, and I was not in any discomfort, so I refused to spend the money on that. I instead saved up and bought a car. I see a lot of this discourse not considering either financial situations, or just a matter of financial prioritisation. This discourse had always felt very classist to me, but that might just be my personal situation informing me.

[@CamSlaysAllDay]

I am a man with a bed frame and I was raised by an interior designer mother so I have always known the importance of a well decorated space. I am friends with almost entirely women and I thank god everyday that I don't need to sit in boy rooms to hang out with the besties. I wouldnt be able to stomach the smell and the psych ward vibe

[@thebeaside]

Me just always so grateful for my husband. He burnt out hard and has been a house spouse for months now so I’ve been making the big bucks and coming home to a meal plan and a clean home and work lunchboxes. He has bouts of a few days now and then where he gets hit with the darkness for a few days and I cook instead, but he’s actually found the household chores and the routines of them helpful for healing his mental health.

[@botanicalitus4194]

yaIIs relationship is goals

[@lisechristensen4714]

Congrats for recieving the bare minimum ☺🤗 Sounds fantastic, how sad to yearn for basic decency in the sense of not having to think about what's for dinner .... Sad for me, in case that didn't come through!

[@thebeaside]

@@lisechristensen4714 oh man, it’s so much more than the bare minimum. I had a really rough shift at work and was anxious and couldn’t sleep and just cried for like an hour and he just held me and then tucked me in and gave me a massage till I fell asleep. I love that man so much. I really hope you receive the love you deserve!

[@borkbork4124]

I with him well on healing from burnout, I have a few friends who have burned out, it is rough rn. Glad to hear him taking care of the home is helping him heal.

[@b.c.9358]

I hope your husband heals, burnout is so hard. I'm glad you have an arrangement that makes both of you happy.

[@problemperson4221]

the point of futons is that they get rolled up every morning and tucked away, bedframeless beds just permanently get put on the floor without any care of moisture or mould (barf) underneath

[@stratospherica]

Yes, this is what I was going to say! They're folded and put away, and then taken out to sleep again.

[@DaniBee2900]

ohshit i never thought about that im a woman and haven't had a bed frame for forever i just have mattress and a box spring

[@Maria_745]

I would love to see you do a video just on cooking and gender. I'm thinking of how most professional/celebrity chefs are men and some of them specifically rise to fame by using their mother's recipes

[@djlivvy46]

Can also add hairdressers and fashion designers to the list.

[@kayleighmay2557]

My ex-boyfriend was like this... from the mattress on the floor, all the way to the navy bedsheets! And we're in France, so it's not just cultural lol. He also wouldn't shower for like a week pretty often, and when I stopped doing his laundry out of protest, he never said anything and just continued rewearing his dirty clothes for like A MONTH before I said something. He just said "well, I don't have anything clean". I asked him why he didn't wash his clothes and he said he didn't know how to use the washing machine. I told him where the manual was and asked him why he didn't just ask me to show him. Guess he had no answer for that. Despite this, he would regularly ask for sex and when I asked him to please shower or I would consider unfortunately breaking up, he would only shower when he wanted sex and then use it as leverage. Like "I showered so you have no reason to refuse". We lived together originally, but I eventually asked him to move out. Thats when he found an appartment and refused to buy a bed because "he didn't need one". He had no possessions but his computer and was very happy that way. His appartment became so disgusting I wouldn't sleep there and told him I didn't want to come unless he washed his sheets beforehand. I believe I was pretty tactful requesting this, too. After almost 6 years, I broke up with him, for many reasons, but I genuinely believe that his lack of hygiene greatly contributed to my loss of attraction for him...

[@ChainReactionsProductions]

I’m 25 years old and autistic and over the past couple years I‘ve been fixing up my bedroom to not look like a vacant room with a mattress in it lol right now I’m designing a colorful hippie mural with an artist friend of mine to cover the walls and ceiling because I love 1960s pop culture and the psychedelic art of that era!

[@duchessedeberne3909]

That sounds so awesome!

[@dahliah7764]

One thing I didn’t allow room for in my life was weaponized incompetency. My fiancé didn’t know how to do laundry so I showed him how, he didn’t like doing dishes (doesn’t like the feeling) I said okay we’re getting you gloves. You have a mom I’m not gonna be your 2nd mom.

[@bigbootyboy420]

Slay

[@JulesssRules]

Queen

[@GeRia-be3js]

No you were a better mom. His mother failed to raise her son to be independent, which is a parent’s job. They’re afraid to become obsolete so they don’t teach their children how to handle their own shit or how to be a problem solver.

[@thecolorjune]

Even the fact you had to teach him would annoy me. When I went off to college I didn’t know how to do laundry. So guess what? I googled it! It’s sooooo easy to learn many of these chores on your own with the internet. If you struggle with a chore, look up accommodations neurodivergent people and disabled people have invented/use! I have AuDHD and so I know how hard some daily upkeep chores can be, but I’m actively learning ways to make it easier for myself so I can maintain a good standard of living. It’s hard, but it’s not THAT hard, especially if you’re neurotypical and able bodied and have the internet.

[@desiree7633]

​@GeRia-be3js but even with this we're blaming another woman for the failings of a grown man

[@littleflick]

I’m 39 and relatively newly single. Can confirm that it does not get better.

[@IvanNovikov108]

Your pfp says a lot

[@detritusofseattle]

Is it truly incompetence, or is it that men simply don't value these things to the same degree women do, and as a result simply don't give it much effort? It's not malice or some scheme. It's just that we think differently.

[@newdivide9882]

I’ve listened to almost half the video and read a bunch of comments at this point. It’s wild to me how this thought just never enters their minds ever. And how they never just ask us what’s up. And even if they do, they still invent their own reasons anyway. “He doesn’t want to get made fun of by his friends/he expects some woman to do it for him/men aren’t allowed to express themselves, so they don’t decorate.” Nah, we literally just don’t think about it much. Is it really THAT hard to consider?

[@MayaMickaMicak]

I understand that they don't care that much, but I don't think that's the issue, I think it's fine to decorate or not decorate, but cleanliness is different and it's unhealthy to live in a mess. For example the mattress thing, if it's on the floor it's not just bugs and dust you should worry about, mostly it's mould and stuff like that. I used to sleep without a bedframe because it couldn't fit in my room, but I put those wooden things you use to transport things underneath my bed (English isn't my native language and I can't remember the word for it) just because I didn't want to get mould and other things that could make me sick. Even in countries where they use futons, they air them out regularly, put something between them and the floor and they're made to be on the floor unlike regular mattresses. So it's generally for health reasons but this video explores why men are inclined to have different bedrooms, so they explore different reasons for it, besides not wanting to, and even if you don't want to, there's usually a reason why, because men and women aren't that different especially in those areas (like studies show) so there's probably a societal reason for such a big difference here

[@JJ-vh3xf]

Yeah but think about WHY is that the case? why is it that men don't think these things important but but women do? Has it occurred to you, as a man, that it's easy for you not to care about because you've never had to? If you knew a lack of pride in your home would be seen as a personal shortcoming, deserving of less attention and respect, would you feel the same way?

[@detritusofseattle]

​@@JJ-vh3xf Maybe, but then that raises the question: Why shouldn't women just get over caring about it? Why do they cling to the narrative that it is a personal shortcoming? Men are not forcing this on them. If anything, men are probably annoyed by it. It's women forcing this on women. It's women who will gossip, badmouth, disrespect, and make fun of other women for not keeping this up. If I was invited over to a girl's house and she had a mattress on the floor and a TV, and basically a guy's room, I wouldn't be disgusted. I'd think it was pretty awesome. I'd probably be kind of turned on by it, honestly. It's her female friends that would give her a hard time for it.

[@reinarani9833]

@@detritusofseattle its BECAUSE youre a crusty non-sanitized human, thats why. pretty simple answer right.

[@8maymay8]

always the navy bedsheets 💀

[@m.z1256]

yk why

[@24kgoldplatedvermeil]

@@m.z1256 why. If you jizz on dark bedsheets its more obvious 😅

[@SaltedRain]

@@m.z1256why

[@bigbootyboy420]

Or none lol

[@bigbootyboy420]

@@m.z1256if this is a cum joke it doesn’t make sense bc the stains show up more on navy

[@JosieDrake1995]

I’m a woman who frequently does the bare minimum on house upkeep. It’s a lot of effort and often, when things fall through, it tends to be negligence on my part. That being said: I have standards and limits. Things can get bad, but I will eventually reach a point that my brain finally kicks in and says this is unacceptable and we have to fix it. Also, my apartment is not a reflection of my personality but rather my financial situation. That being said, I have a complete set of furniture for every room

[@urlauber2884]

This was so much deeper than I thought based on that title. Great video!

[@allyalysia]

as a girl, i don’t quite understand what the importance of bedframes is, like all it does is kinda elevate the bed from the floor, but then dust and clothes get stuck underneath (if there’s a gap) and i have a bunch of pins in my bedroom inspo pinterest board where they have no bed frame and i rlly like how it looks

[@djlivvy46]

Apparently it can get mouldy because there's no air circulation.

[@victoriafisher1923]

Airflow; storage; temperature; ease of getting out of bed for people over 30; a place to sit; easier bedmaking. This video talks about how lower is cooler, but the reverse is also true; it's cold on the floor. One of my walls has an insulation problem and the floor gets to about 9 degrees in the winter. I have to be off the ground or I would be freezing. Cold places tend to prefer high beds; warm places traditionally prefer low ones. If you ever have a place with crappy heating or cooling, this is actually an important thing.

[@tealkerberus748]

Mattresses go mouldy without ventilation. I had a king mattress on the floor when my kids were little so they wouldn't hurt themselves falling off it. I tried my hardest to lift it up and air it routinely but it still ended up with black mould all over the underside. I've never had a mattress on a proper base do that.

[@anpe4970]

I remember visiting my brothers shared flat when he and his mates were 17. Everyone elses rooms were a boy room, my brother's was decorated, he had plants and a halfbath he claimed was "his" because it had his cleanliness standard. My mother was militant about teaching all of us (my sister, me and our brother) how to keep house. I have aöways been so thankfull she taught me the lifeskills I have needed in life - and that she made sure our brother did the same.

[@thegadflysnemesis4102]

my mother says that one of the things that really attracted her to my dad is that, on their first date, he took out her trash for her. he was at that point living in a studio apartment into which he crammed a harpsichord, a windsurfer (stretching diagonally across the apartment corner-to-corner floor-to-ceiling), and approximately twenty million sci-fi books (under the harpsichord). fascinating man. i would want to study him like a bug if i were not so very similar to him

[@InventorZahran]

Harpsichord players are built different.

[@VTS1337]

must have been a precision science to take that harpsichord in and out every other day for gigs!

[@christopherbrown5409]

So he enslaved himself to a woman who could've dumped him at any time

[@ChestersonJack]

@@christopherbrown5409Where’d this come from?

[@amyreynolds27]

This conversation always makes appreciate my parents so much. Among other things, my mom plans meals, cooks, and does the shopping because she loves it. My dad is the one who always cleans the dishes and does the laundry. They are the epitome of a team to me. My brother and I were both taught how to cook, clean, and do yardwork growing up, and we both starting doing our own laundry around 13. We had a set list of chores that we rotated through - with a chart on the fridge and everything -, and our allowances were based on what year we were in at school.

[@91clarie]

I'm a girl and my apartment looks like a divorced dad's😂😂

[@dd58089]

literally same, i'm just broke😪

[@DreamItCraftIt]

Same. I just dont really care about what it looks like lol

[@ville__]

Didnt ask. I lUV ANIMAL ABVSE. My content is more entertaining has more substance than this utubers entire career. Eye posted proof...,c

[@Bones1220]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@fi-train8961]

Lol same but my bank account is doing good 😂

[@hannahbray7065]

As a girl with depression and ADHD, I try my best but I’m in no position to judge anyone’s messy room or lack of cleanliness 😭 It’s so so hard. And I have BLACK bedsheets 🙃

[@bigcitysmalljoy]

SAME.

[@Spamhard]

Lol this. Can't believe there's comments calling folk gross for not cleaning their sheets every week. Like ok, sorry, I'm just trying to live.

[@chillin5703]

​@@SpamhardI've been cleaning monthly and it's never hurt me...

[@MissKashira]

When you said he hasn't washed his sheets since July, I scrolled down to see how long ago this was posted. April 30th. So his bed bugs are coming up on their one year anniversary. How sweet.

[@actuallyrubyleaf]

The part where you said most chores aside from cooking can't really be made into a challenge reminded me of something. Story time. So my parents and I all have the kind of ADHD that makes it near impossible to stay on top of a job and chores at the same time. My mom isn't built for the working world but is excellent at cooking, sewing, and all sorts of DIY. My dad is great at academia and his job but took shortcuts on every chore he could manage before he met Mom. As a result my mom does most of the housework while he is the breadwinner, but one time she got annoyed with him doing so little housework and got him to start ironing his shirts himself. Which he promptly did-and, in his typical fashion, got really ambitious about it and started challenging himself to speed records. So my point is that while it's not as stereotypically "manly" as, say, cooking up a steak and you can't really show it off to your bros, you can totally make any chore into a challenge with the right attitude!

[@DiputchiCAT]

The difference between Japanese style beds and sleeping without a bedframe is that Japanese style beds still have a layer between them and the floor. The tatami may likely insulates the bed (keeping it warmer during winter) and prevents the mattress from getting trapped moisture underneath and becoming mouldy. That tatami mat and a western style bedframe serve the same purpose; keep the frame off the floor and provide protection from damage. Sleeping on a tatami mat is NOT the same as sleeping without a bedframe.

[@cheesedemon88]

Yep, personally I’m not a fan of sleeping on Japanese style beds. However if I go onto someone’s bedroom and see a proper futon and tatami setup, that certainly shows that they care and made an intentional decision when setting up their sleeping space. Very much the opposite of a naked mattress with a dirty navy cover.

[@wheedler]

Japanese mattresses aren't actually just kept directly on the floor, they have a tatami mat underneat to prevent moisture, etc.

[@chillin5703]

I think the point is there are similar benefits. But since we as westerners don't traditionally use tatami mats, people don't really consider that option like they probably should. As Theresa points out, there are people who _choose_ to avoid bed frames for good reasons. So it's not just about "people who care about their design vs people who don't." Me, I went without one for a year because my first night in my dorm, I rolled onto a hard floor (like harder than wood, idk what the hell they made that out of) and was LUCKY I didn't re-aggravate an injured knee by slamming it onto the ground.

[@phaedraphoenix7862]

I like the example my parents were when I was growing up. My mom hates vacuuming, so my dad does it. My dad hates folding laundry so my mom does it. Etc etc. They feel like they are providing an act of love/service by doing something for the other person and also keeping things fairly balanced.

[@AW-uv3cb]

Relationships goals 🙂

[@Pattii248]

oh my god this was an absolute banger of a video, as you may say

[@rosurhymeeee]

Me and my family moved from our old home and my older brother decided to take it as the opportunity to move out. He refused to pack so on the last day before we handed over the keys he shoved all his belongings into garbage bags and left, 1 and a half years later he met his current girlfriend who I’m close with and while we were talking she told me that the clothes ARE STILL IN THOSE GARBAGE BAGS He moved from where he originally lived to a new place and they’re still in those same broken garbage bags that have more holes then Swiss cheese, worst part is when he does his laundry (when his girlfriend forces him to) after the fold the clothes HE PUTS IT BACK INTO THE GARBAGE BAGS I CANNOT

[@PoopHobbit]

I am a woman who chose to sleep on a Japanese style futon in college because it was easier to transport... these men and their empty living rooms containing one monitor and a folding chair are not doing the same thing lol

[@zinjanthropus322]

They are, everything they own can fit into the back of a Prius.

[@benjaminollis7621]

​@@zinjanthropus322which is awesome. Simplify your life instead of getting dragged down by the fake security of materialism !

[@keegster7167]

@@benjaminollis7621 Although it's better just to buy a futon and tatami mat. It'll last a long time and be even EASIER to transport! And better against mold

[@chillin5703]

It's a similar mentality though. Why deal with a bed frame? To be honest, I was just unaware of the issues that came with not having one. Now I know thanks to reading some of the other comments. 👍

[@benjaminollis7621]

See it as a blank canvas to fill with your feminine comfort

[@All_Lemons]

The gender paygap in allowances really shocked me! The inequality starts so early, it's awful!

[@elise85391]

After we got older, my parents did our allowances by report card grades, and he was strict about them, so we'd get money for As, less for Bs, but then if we got Cs, we actually owed him money. Idk what would've happened if we'd gotten below a C, but I probably don't want to know.

[@massimo4307]

There's no inequality in the world, except the one directed at men when women demand they conform to what they want.

[@BlickolasCage]

I can speak on this, just a year ago I joined the military, moved out of the house, and now live on my own. I think the mentality for a lot of us is a kind of "make the most of what you got" type of mental space. I live in the barracks and I can tell you the only reason I have a bed frame is because it came with my room. If I were told to move out right now, it would take me less than 10 mins to pack all of my stuff. That's because my room is a very minimalist space, white on white, PC in the corner, and just the bare essentials like toiletries and my service uniform. I have no decorations or any frills, only what I care about and what I'm supposed to have.

[@BlickolasCage]

also yes, my room did also come with either navy or maroon bedsheets, not really helping the male stereotype 😭. Im proud to say I did change it a lil and it is now white on white

[@oliviab.6178]

I seem to have had the opposite experience, and most of my friends are guys. I’m a millennial and when I was in university, my guy friends had clean and well-furnished apartments (they had bedsheets, hampers, towels, and extras of each!). My girlfriends, on the other hand, looked like they lived in a pigsty. Their bathrooms and kitchens were horrifying, worse if they had roommates! I often crashed at one my girlfriend’s apartments and for peace of mind, I brought my own bedding, towels, and even toilet paper. 😬

[@alostkoi]

Every time people talk about working/breadwinner men/husbands/father shouldn't have to do chores, I think about mom's bf; who's not even my father, would happily arrive home and cook me dinner; used to get a little upset because I never left him dirty dishes to wash; who could spend his whole free day deep cleaning if allowed; always wants to cook for my mom and me… This man works 7 days a week, and for sure, mom and I keep the house running smoothly as she's a SAHM, and I'm a freelancer, but even then he wants to do something. Excuses are easy to be honest.

[@rac1equalsbestgame853]

Similarly, while it was almost always taken over by mom, my dad is not only a man but a neat freak when it comes to cleanliness and outright cooked better than mom when he was the one doing when mom couldn't. I never felt that if mom was to disapear the house would fall into chaos, he proved capable and more of maintaining a house when needed

[@mariehizz2039]

This! I’ve just imagine for a sec that I come back home and somebody washed, cooked and cleaned for me. And all I have to do is to eat and sleep and enjoy my life. Of course the patriarchate will never disappear, it keeps man happy just for the fact of their existence 😤😡

[@bentooh2371]

I love examples like this! Both my mother and (late) father loved keeping the house organized in their own preferences that didn't clash with each other's set standards - my mom liked keeping the shared spaces tidy and presentable and gave our separated rooms an inspection once a month (she wanted to make sure us children knew how to tidy up on our own) and my father liked cleaning the tiled surfaces of the kitchen and bathroom areas. My mother would be the one cooking more often for the everyday meals but our dad was the more extravagant cook when it came to flavor and all-around gastronomic experience. I was raised by a couple who agreed to become a functional team way before I was born. - My father did heavy physical labor five days a week as a farmer too, but our family home never became a pigsty. "Excuses are easy" indeed.

[@knight1706]

@@mariehizz2039Patriarchy is loving your husband now, this is just you twisting love into toxicity through your toxic world view.

[@purplelove3666]

And they are not married? When will women learn

[@JM-hd3lr]

the fact that there is a pay gab in children allowance is devastating 💀

[@massimo4307]

Just like the "wage gap" it's because men actually do more work.

[@starsINSPACE]

​​@@massimo4307that's bs. Most women do a waged job, housework, and childcare, on top of administrative tasks for their husbands. That's four "jobs" compared to a man's one job. Then watch married women in grad school or whatever also do schoolwork! ETA: i know even unmarried women can also have a similar situation with their dad. I've seen girls in highschool or college take care of their younger siblings and do housework and have a waged job and do odd jobs for their dad or brother like making doctors appointments for them.

[@massimo4307]

@@starsINSPACE The facts don't lie. Men work more, hence they make more. Sorry if this puts a hole in your victim mentality

[@ShouPow]

​@@massimo4307 there's literally mountains of papers, books even, on the existence of the gender pay gap, across decades and nations. Those are the facts sister

[@massimo4307]

@@ShouPow And all those papers are debunked by other papers that show how men work harder. Sorry if facts hurt you, honey.

[@CROMULENTAF]

I appreciate it so much when you talk about your mental health. I hate that you go through a lot of uncontrollable pain and struggles. I can relate so hard to so many. But when you talk about it on your channel and do it so matter of fact, but gentle to yourself, it normalizes talking about mental health issues. I hope you’re doing well. I stumbled upon you fairly recently and I’m really enjoying your content, your adorable voice, and all your different outfits/hairstyles/and makeup. You’re gorgeous! And so intelligent. 🖤🖤🖤🖤

[@themadmanwithapen]

Eh…why let someone else’s space bother you. Some people can’t afford the full glam bedroom setup.

[@oleanderhill5081]

Oh my god 😂I'm a gay married man and our whole fricking decor would be navy IF we actually cared about decorating. It's just like, you don't want to go with black everything, but you also can't pick an actual color palette, so you go "well, navy's black-adjacent, and it IS a color, so I'll just get that!" We're both almost 30, too 😅

[@oleanderhill5081]

ALSO the whole "you can't see stains on navy" is definitely a huge factor in why we choose it. This video is calling me OUT

[@worstusernameintheworld9871]

nah don't worry, I'm literally AFAB and I prefer black colored things in my room because I'm alternative and because it's "easier to clean"

[@linmonPIE]

I think males being more likely to be color blind might have something to do with it too.

[@djlivvy46]

​@@linmonPIE- and yet they magically know their colours when it comes to sports...

[@victai163]

i'm trans masculine and i have a lot of navy bedding because 1. occasionally my hair dye stains 2. i have periods still and occasionally stains will remain, and they're less noticeable on dark colours

[@OneFlagFlying]

As someone who grew up in a house of hoarders, my dad was the worst. He would always complain about the women( ie his wife and mom especially) being the messiest. This is the same man who throws stuff on the ground instead of reaching an inch more to throw something in the trash. This video struck so many cords with me 😂

[@erint5373]

As a woman in a long term relationship with another woman; I find this topic fascinating! It's not that gay couples don't have the same external influences/pressures - and yet anecdotally what I see is that gay relationships have far LESS of these systemic dissatisfaction in divisions of labour than straight couples. I believe personally that is more about how you navigate sharing tasks, and what internal expectations we each have of what is our 'responsibility'. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that all gay couples have equally split household labour but I guarantee that for most it's been a topic of conversation that's been mutually agreed on. It's not that straight couples divide chores unevenly,it's that one or both parties are dissatisfied with this division - and that your partners don't seem to be motivated by knowing your dissatisfaction.

[@waterproofcrying]

I am a woman and I purposefully buy bed sheets that hide blood stains..because sadly despite wearing literal diapers I sometimes get some blood on the bed, sometimes I use a towel also to avoid a leak..I do not know how some women have white bedsheets and comforters unless they have some dark sheets hidden somewhere

[@EzraSprouts]

An ex of mine also did all his laundry with fabric softener! He didn't know the difference and just picked the cheapest bottle. I had to explain to him at 22. A clear indication of who'd been doing laundry since childhood and who'd been mollycoddled until uni!

[@livnatkafka9017]

I have seen so many videos of men on tiktok saying things like "women's apartments are the best" or straight up stealing from their partner things like nice soap or decorations 😮 They are miserable but refuse to do the work to change

[@dangerouslycheeky3746]

It won't change until women do.

[@Apricot90]

I grew up with the worst of the worst sexist and nasty, dirty father and brothers, my fat narcissistic mother didn't give a fuck about looks too, I guess she was somehow traumatized by being sexualized and objectified as a young girl... I myself moved out and cut all contact with 19. 34 now. And I seriously appreciate the hardships I have been through back then. It showed me what I DON'T WANT and will never allow in my life! EVER. I know every textbook manipulation strategy in the world too. All thanks to that "family".

[@no_peace]

Why can't you do it since you're doing it anyway 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[@aprilshowers3246]

@@no_peace just like in the video

[@massimo4307]

The world isn't tik tok - touch grass

[@karmacoma1753]

girl this is one of your best videos!

[@oldasyouromens]

As a disabled girlie with "boy" cleaning abilities who needs help with this kind of thing, the amount of shame I've gotten because I'm in too much pain to bend over or use my grabber repeatedly and have to pay someone to help clean is so exhausting. Because I'm a woman my room is also expected to be cleaner than my dad's, for example. Sometimes, the easiest thing to do, the thing that will save all your energy for the week, is to pay someone, but all able-bodied people and all disabled people should definitely learn, at least theoretically, how to clean their space.

[@tealkerberus748]

The knowledge of what needs to be done, even if you then pay someone else to do it, is a skill you have gained. Some of these men with verminous bedrooms have tertiary qualifications and good full time jobs. They could easily pay someone - but they don't see it as a necessity, or their own responsibility. My kids do all the cleaning in our house now because disability, but I taught them to clean when I was young and abled.

[@joy.limon_]

So many people afraid of the backrooms when they should be afraid of boyrooms

[@0615am]

For me having darker bedsheets is more convenient because i have basically no other white/light laundry, so if i have dark sheets i can actually wash full loads. if i spilled something on them i would wash them anyway even if the stain is not visible because i am not sleeping on that

[@Lonesurvivor256]

This is a fascinating conversation, and it has definitely got me thinking. I’m a single man in my 30’s, and I’ve struggled with my mental health most of my adult life. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t just stop when I can barely get out of bed. So I do what has to get done to pay the bills, but it is very hard to push myself to do much more than that. Sheet color just doesn’t seem to factor in much during crippling bouts of depression. Ha

[@purplelily7764]

In my home growing up my parents split their work schedules so that while one was at work the other was off (they worked 12 hour shifts so they had more days off) and whoever was off was responsible for picking up the house, getting groceries, picking us up from school, and making dinner so I was used to an equal division of labor between my parents so finding out about the inequality in most homes was really strange and uncomfortable

[@guhey]

Mina Le and Jordan posting within the same hour. It's such a good day.🎉🎉🎉.

[@Melissa-sx9vh]

I just watched both videos back-to-back it made my day!

[@magdabojarska7796]

yessss❤

[@graceelizabeth130]

I'm the middle child (girl) between 2 boys and I notice that my parents expect more cooking and cleaning from me than they do of my brothers. I also notice this most during birthdays or mothers/fathers day and it tends to be me who gets the best, most thoughtful presents and decorations and my brothers can get away with being a bit lazy and last minute about it. I will often call my parents out on the cleaning/cooking thing and they're like 'Well I know YOU will actually do it'. I don't think they mean to do it but its another way that gender stereotypes is enforced in the household

[@LeaveBritneyalone580]

Your parents suck, I hope you get out of there as soon as possible.

[@mamadoom9724]

I make my daughter do the difficult chores because I know she will do them right. When I give my son chores it just ends up with me being frustrated and angry because he does such a bad job so I have to give him the most simple things like switching the laundry to the dryer.

[@LeaveBritneyalone580]

@@mamadoom9724 So? Make him do it million times until he does it right. You are supporting male incompetence and making him think he can get away with difficult things if he doesn't do it right. You, and parents like you are part of the problem. I'm sure your daughter didn't do it right either at first but she learned and so can he. Stop babying your sons unless you want them to stay unmarried(or without a relationship) and forever with you cause there isn't a person in this world with a little bit of self respect that would tolerate that kind of behavior in an adult, nor is that kind of behavior attractive. Caring about the home you live in is basic adulting. Do better as parent

[@LeaveBritneyalone580]

@@mamadoom9724 So?! Make him do it the million times until he gets it right. You are exactly type of parent that enables their sons weaponised incompetence and cretes adult toddlers that expects their wife/girlfriend/mom/sister to do everything for them. Do better as parent cause you will lose one of your children, your daughter will start resenting you for this kind of behavior. But not worry your son will never leave your home cause no person who has even an ounce of self respect will tolerate this kind of behavior in an adult

[@garfieldkater5469]

​@@mamadoom9724 that sucks so hard for your poor daughter. Also, maybe your son is just doing weaponized imcompetence. Show him he cant play you

[@waywardwillard]

As a woman who isn’t neat and would probably let my bedroom look like the average young man’s if I could get away with it-I never could get away with it, my parents just never would’ve let me keep my space like that. I think that’s been for the best mostly, but it’s just proof that they can do more.

[@spiritsafe-ko4ee]

When my brother moved into a house with his girlfriend I inquired about the fact the home looked like "her" ie all her colors, her interests on display, etc. As a woman I personally can't imagine not having a say in what any part of my house looked like, so I asked him if men just don't have any interest in interior design. He said if he made any input it would have been ignored anyway so he just put the shelves where she wanted them

[@talaofthevalley]

Watching this reminded me how my older brother used to just kinda Suck at doing house chores. And it's not like he was unwilling, but he always needed to be told or asked to do something around the house, he'd never think to do anything himself. Even when seeing the dishwasher was done and its contents waiting to be put away, he'd still pile dirty dishes in the sink. What FINALLY changed this was when our mother got an injury that made her unable to do big chores for months, later even moving too much, and me starting university a ways away and living half my time away from home. It finally clicked for him that unless He does things, they won't magically get done. He's way more active now helping out with chores and keeping his room tidy (my mother never cleaned his room after he became a teenager btw, same for me. She'd help if we asked, but that was left for us to handle unless something dire occured).

[@tealkerberus748]

The change of mindset from "helping" with cleaning to just cleaning up is critical. It's the same as "helping" with the children, or even worse, "babysitting" the children. They live in the house, they own shares in the mess. They're not helping anyone, they're just cleaning their own home like a competent adult.

[@odothedoll2738]

This is also a matter of how you were raised. My parents don’t have duvets or linen and just use blankets and we also don’t make our beds, we just fold up the blankets. This is all basically because they view it as a waste of time. I’ve had multiple situations where I’ve slept on top of duvets under roughly textured blankets because I didn’t understand the concept that you were supposed to sleep under them.

[@pineapplepie52]

Yes, I do not bother with a flat sheet. Plus my partner and I sleep with separate blankets so there’s no blanket wars in the middle of the night😊

[@odothedoll2738]

@@pineapplepie52 a fellow Star Trek PFP haver hats off

[@ZalemMoon]

I sleep the exact same way lol 😭

[@vainpiers]

Usually i can tell when im in a depression episode because i stop doing my hair and dont tidy my room.

[@PseudoNym13]

Decoration is purely for aesthetic purposes and oftentimes serves no real practical use. If you’re by yourself you’re not showing it off with anyone.

[@Gigi44_Bookworm]

I have severe clinical depression and my apartment is never clean. I admire those who don't feel like basic tasks are a struggle to care about and to actually do without it being an overwhelming and all-consuming stressful event every day

[@djlivvy46]

The Additude website and Strugglecare TikTok both have good advice.

[@intranexine8901]

big mood

[@ek-dw5ur]

i have been reading the book how to keep house while drowning. highly recommend

[@Gigi44_Bookworm]

@@ek-dw5ur Thank you for the recommendation! I have previously read the book and agree it is really helpful.

[@paul4archery]

So niche but so universal.

[@leopardshadow333]

I think it's important to note that this phenomenon is frequently not an economic thing. Like I have seen guys who are successful in a white collar job, clean and well dressed at work, ample bank accounts, and yet they don't have sheets or a bedframe! And there's bugs under their bare mattress!

[@alexisandrews216]

Great video Jordan!!!

[@ebayaradiay2781]

And people wonder why marriages are declining and divorcing is rising.And this is why nobody is getting married anymore.Society needs to crumble if the changes are not implement

[@crunchevo8974]

marriages are declining because people don't want to spend 30k to tell people they love each other and the cost of the beurocracy involved is a pain any way you slice it, and divorce rates are increasing because people are much less likley to be financially dependent on their partner now so there's more ways out available to the majority of people. honestly i think both are a good sign that society is moving towards a better place. what do you think would be better? more people getting married and not being able to get out of a possibly abusive relationship?

[@user-rc2yf8kt7i]

@@crunchevo8974 You don't have to spend $30k for a tiktok wedding. You can sign papers at the courthouse and go to a restaurant for dinner. The modern concept of weddings arose as the emerging middle class in like the 1800s was trying to copy literal royalty. Much of what we think of as being tradition is actually just bullshit.

[@gato_comunista3802]

@@crunchevo8974 well but people are not only not marrying but are staying single... particularly WOMEN are staying single and happy about it...

[@fortunatecookie]

Divorce is actually no longer rising! It peaked in the 90s, and has leveled off since then. I mean it makes sense. Can’t get divorced if you never got married to begin with after all

[@crunchevo8974]

@@gato_comunista3802 yeah, straight men need to step up their game as people tbh. Having a fat wallet isn't enough for most anymoee

[@91msJill]

The allowance pay gap just reminded me of when my older brother moved back home when I was 17 and he was 22. He had been out of the house for 4 years, and in that time, I was the only child at home, sharing chores with my parents. When he moved back, they expected me to continue doing all of my usual chores, while he had none added to his plate. They eventually said they would pay me if I would just continue cleaning up after him.

[@dariasdouble212]

As a 38 y.o. woman, I don't have a bed frame, but I have three reasons for that. 1. I move around *a lot* 2. I have ferrets and I don't feel like crawling under my bed to get them out when they go back into the cage. And 3. It's a pillow top with a box spring and it's already 3 ft tall. I don't want to have to jump up onto my bed every night.

[@xDyxe]

I don't know if these types of guys even know what a box spring is 😂

[@chloeghabril1810]

This was SUCH a good video 🙏🏻 really appreciate all the research and work that go into these!

[@moonlightauras1]

I am a woman who sleeps without a bed frame, and while it has been better for my back and I do prefer to sleep closer to the floor, my primary reason for doing this is because I got sick and tired of my clumsy ass accidentally ramming my foot toe first into bed frames all the time. It is my only bedroom decoration shortcoming.

[@joy.limon_]

That's okay

[@niintendo8195]

Be careful of mold forming under you mattress!! If you still want to sleep close to the ground you should get those low plank(?) “frames” to promote air circulation

[@elleryan]

Yes! Clumsy girl with a bad back here who gets you 100%! invest in a bed frame that’s designed for small spaces so it won’t stick out from under the mattress but will give you air circulation. Believe me you do not want to know how quickly the underneath of your mattress can turn orange and black

[@eponymouscharacter]

In my country we generally don’t have bed frames but rather mattress bases that you stack the mattress on top of and there’s nothing you could hit your feet on. I’ve never heard of mould being a problem with these. Could something like that work for you?