So Now by Charles Bukowski

🔰The main focus of this KZbin project is to give new life to poetry but there is another aspect that goes a bit undetected behind the curtain of good music and fancy editing tricks. The vast majority of these videos are filmed in the city and country that I live in and I've been given the opportunity to record everyday life, even the ugly aspect of it. I'm showcasing in this video homelessness and other examples of social disintegration. This isn't a political statement, or an opportunity to state pretentiously that "I care", this is just documentation and all the feelings this imagery may cause you, belong to you and I welcome you to share them in the comment section.
Forever Humbled
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: / illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗 / _illneas
🔗 / illneas
🔗 / illneas
Second channel
🔗 / @akidwithacameraorjust...
🔰Communities
- / discord
- / 2314655172176122
- / searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom O'Bedlam
-The (amazing) music is this:
'Undertow' by Scott Buckley - released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
🔰So Now? by Charles Bukowski
the words have come and gone,
I sit ill.
the phone rings, the cats sleep.
Linda vacuums.
I am waiting to live,
waiting to die.
I wish I could ring in some bravery.
it's a lousy fix
but the tree outside doesn't know:
I watch it moving with the wind
in the late afternoon sun.
there's nothing to declare here,
just a waiting.
each faces it alone.
Oh, I was once young,
Oh, I was once unbelievably
young!

[@axelleci2031]

"I am waiting to live Waiting to die" Exactly how I feel at this point in my life

[@osamabukhari7504]

Same m8 but might aswell make the wait worthwile

[@axelleci2031]

@@osamabukhari7504 yeah...that might be the best thing to do I guess

[@greenmaryeyes]

Go outside. You are not alone. We are surrounded by life in crazy amount of forms. We are never alone. Others make you feel like that just if you let them. You are never alone.

[@axelleci2031]

@@greenmaryeyes Thank you

[@citaprevia9833]

are we then : are we moved by major machines peddling in our emotions for the permitted "golden age" a rape and death endeavor of "good enough" for our enlightenmnet .... guarded by Clowns : who pull chairs : if not. Are we there yet - I fake is.rael & love is not pretending.

[@Janetemusic]

Here is to the twisted ones, to helpless upside-downers. To outcasts and the tragedies, the rejects and the loners. Take hope in knowing on this earth, this little world we live in, there's always someone just the same, although you may not feel it. A silent cord connects our hearts in ways we fail to fathom. Regardless of a thousand miles, we're one by every atom. Unwittingly we share our cries and weep on each's shoulders when worries come on rolling in like heavy rocks and boulders. You'll often find a friend to trust in unacquainted stranger, for they're no judge, for through their pain you'll feel a bit more saner. So tell them all about your woe, your mishaps and your longings and in return they'll offer you a bittersweet belonging. A knowing that though there's no cure to swiftly sweep your sorrow, the ones as twisted as are you will always have it borrowed. - A poem I finished a couple of days ago. Thought I'd put it here, in case it may bring someone the much needed ease, because it surely brought me. Take care, dear twisted ones. You will get through this. We will, together. :)

[@tommyredgonzales9781]

Thank you

[@romesnewborn9876]

It's amazing, truly!

[@makeevvd1]

Brilliant

[@dallasgarvey8104]

I'd like permission to write this in my journal, credited to you.

[@noone-op6yg]

By the Grace upon us all, we will, be blessed Love.

[@sasukeism6881]

"i am waiting to live, waiting to die / oh i was once young / oh i was once unbelievably young" i'm 17 and poems like this are nerve wrecking

[@illneas]

I'm young as well and I get you.

[@citaprevia9833]

then you are the luckiest : but the enemy is not "Time" : it is Anlauf without direction that will due you in for, while pulling on both sides of yours ears .... slowly like quicksand ... gone.

[@geespar1]

cyphervv appreciate and savour your youth while you have it, then you will never have any regrets. Don’t ruin your precious present by dark thoughts of the future, then your life will unfold beautifully and you will savour every moment

[@heygirl6386]

same!

[@heygirl6386]

geespar1 i was just thinking about how much i miss my younger self. i feel so old now. ive lost my innocence. im no child anymore

[@branch.incarnate]

With that voice, you could read the ingredients on a box of Cheerios and it would sound like a poem

[@pirshaqinets]

That's actually Tom O'Bedlam's voice, not his

[@nonexistant4260]

I aspire to have one of these voices when I am old

[@lydiaaitbouziad471]

@@pirshaqinets I WANT HIM TO READ MY POEMS.

[@return2innocence221]

Sooo true 🤣🤣

[@panzerjagertigerpelefant]

@@pirshaqinets is Tom O'Bedlam a person? I thought it was a poem.

[@juanbotero6339]

“There’s nothing to declare here. Just a waiting.”

[@AnnaLVajda]

Yes like Cohen waiting for the miracle... it does not always happen though so I don't wait with expectations I wake up disappointed each day to be alive I'm not suicidal or waiting to live though just serving my sentence for the crime of being born into such a sh*t world like a purgatory.

[@DaNickKittu]

The best place KZbin ever recommended me.

[@illneas]

I'm glad you are here.

[@xatiter]

Preach, brother, preach!

[@all.in.noplanB]

Same

[@all.in.noplanB]

@@illneas i m glag you are here(onYT)

[@stevecongdon1824]

Bukowski. To my mind the greatest poet who ever lived, you can keep your Shakespeare. He said it how it was. No flowery language, just simply and plainly. His words have sustained me when there was no one else.

[@ragnarlothbrok3849]

+Steve Congdon Homer and Omar Khayyam, Charles is cool though

[@stevecongdon1824]

@@ragnarlothbrok3849 with you on Omar.

[@katara2021]

I understand taste and all but why disparage flowery language. Those poems aren't empty of meaning either. They're just written in a different style.

[@gabrielbalazs9310]

true.same for me. he probably saved my life, for a while...

[@Victoria-nx4yc]

It's not flowery language, they are words that hide deeper meaning and require an open heart understand. There is no need for comparison, both are uniquely intricate and appeal to different souls

[@PlasticDoll.]

The "unbelievably young" sentence just made me go on a bout of crying for awhile while repeating it. Mind you I'm only 23 and already feel melancholic and life is just what it is.. be strong:)

[@hajerahumar2750]

well I'm 15 and it hurt. So, I guess you can never be 'young'

[@rebeccalopez5094]

@@hajerahumar2750 Take it from someone in their mid 30s "Oh, I was once young," is meant to make you think back to about your age and "Oh, I was once unbelievably young!" is meant to make you think all the way back to when you were probably somewhere around 5 ish. So both of yalls responses to that last line are accurate!!! 💔😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔

[@Annaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Felt. 💔

[@birdman9091]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/emS8p3lofc-CsLs

[@datGuyShayzo]

I hope rather I pray that you and people like us, get to feel unbelievably young again.

[@roan4904]

These poems are important to read especially while you’re young

[@kittykatz3518]

And old.

[@roan4904]

Alison Ezell agreed

[@farrider3339]

@YEE YEE : when you're young you do nOt bother about old people's stuff and so called insights and saying's. Me never did. Why should they ? .•°

[@cvetannikolov2823]

Hard to matter when you r young?

[@mushfekaferdousi7696]

^

[@AnthonyLiccione]

"I kiss her ghost, and sleep with the dust on her photograph, next to my bedside."

[@mr.a4288]

I feel sadness in his voice.....but still has deep impact on me.

[@chaosdweller]

That's poertry

[@Samuel-xu1jr]

Well it's not charles voice tho

[@birdman9091]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/emS8p3lofc-CsLs

[@resistdisinformation9931]

As I am currently nearing my 60th birthday, recently I have been ruminating about the meaningfulness of my life and of existence itself. Within the larger context of the unfolding climate crisis, as well as, the increasing threats to human existence due to insane human behaviour such as Russia's war in Ukraine, China's determination to take over Taiwan, North Korea's nuclear sabre rattling, overpopulation and human overconsumption of everything, increasing rates of species extinction, ocean lifeforms being replaced by plastic, the unrelenting Covid-19 pandemic, and so many other increasingly dire phenomena all around the Earth, I feel myself to be at a crossroads in my life. I am completely overwhelmed and utterly perplexed by human existence and the "insanity of humanity." At the same time that I feel vulnerable and my life is precious, I simultaneously feel as if I want to give up on my life and simply cease to exist due to my despair at the mind boggling alterations of the biosphere caused by human stupidity, selfishness, and avarice. Increasingly, I struggle with maintaining a will to live any longer as I watch the Earth die at the hands of humans. I feel disconnected from most other people and even the Canadian society I reside within. I know enough, and I think that I understand enough, to be capable of comprehending the apparent reality that our species is heading toward a cliff not unlike that which the proverbial lemmings leapt from toward their demise. How do I find a way to reclaim my "sanity" and my will to persist in an increasingly diabolical future of global breakdown while most everyone else seems to be in a self-created state of denialism?

[@Mohabd__]

The kind of content that gets you hiped even before watching it, and after you watch it, and even after "oh i was once young, oh i was once, unbelievably young"

[@citaprevia9833]

the horror of spilled milk, the horror of real lips never kissed.

[@Wind.flower_]

To whoever reading this, I'm sending my abundant love to you.♡ Yes you, because you are loved. Not only by me but also by the whole Universe. You are precious. Yes. You are. Are you happy right Now? •If No, it's okay. It's okay to cry sometimes, it's okay to feel a little low sometimes, its okay to feel lost, its completely okay to not be okay. These all shall pass. All those bad days will eventually pass making you stronger than ever before. Trust Me, my love!♡ You will see sunshine at the end of this dark tunnel. •If Yes, Great! Embrace your happiness to the fullest. Make sure you feel every sense and touch of that happiness. Feel it both internally and externally. And Yes, You deserve this, my love!♡

[@aryanaanjum3339]

Thank you so much. I needed that

[@CatHostage]

I’m really holding out for that sunshine, thanks for this.

[@miguelantonioreyes3337]

The combination of bukowski’s words, o’bedlam’s voice and illneas’ editing is a match made in heaven.

[@CJVS995]

True art

[@sherazahmad5232]

The mention of the "Tree Outside" is breathtaking. As it is "alive" as well but not in it's true sense. It also "sits ill" while "the phone rings and the cats sleep". It's "Waiting to live, Waiting to die" just like the speaker. The other goosebumps that I had are when He says that "Bravery" is a "lousy fix" and that He was once "Unbelievably young".

[@Daniel-sk]

Brother, thank you! From your words I understand the true essence of this poem!!

[@TinaSotis]

This is the saddest thing I've ever seen. I have such compassion for all the lonely and abandoned beings in this Earth. I willingly breathe in their pain and send out peace to all.

[@moveinsilencegs5136]

You could care less about the man you do not know Who lives every day alone Who isn’t Charles And sings his song To a long gone god

[@_chinmoku]

"There's nothing to declare here, just.... A waiting, each faces it alone" ... 💛✍🏼

[@neophyte6926]

Keep going we all getting thorough hell..my sister keep going..your solitude is gift…

[@makeevvd1]

If there is such thing that could make Bukowski's writing even better, it is Tom Bedlam's narration and illneas' video. Thank you so much.

[@illneas]

Thank you man, this means a lot to me.

[@berserk322]

Bro, I found your channel like 3 days ago and this channel has become one of my favourite KZbin channels. I had a likeness towards poetry, pressured down somewhere in me and your videos have helped me realize that and I've fallen in love with poetry. Thank you.

[@illneas]

That is lovely, thank you for being here.

[@andersribe4766]

same here :)

[@birdman9091]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/emS8p3lofc-CsLs

[@belindarimbi13]

Funny, that before I read the caption, all I think when I was watching the video was: "Illneas could capture beauty in literally everything, including the homeless and old chair" and it reminds me that your video is like a modern version of Ghibli movie. That everything looks beautiful, when the non-beautiful ones. Ghibli teaches me to always see beauty even when it seems impossible to see any. And I feel that with this video. The poetry, the music, they're melancholic. But there's something beautiful in them. Something that makes me think, "life is cruel, I realize it now, but it doesn't mean I'm not grateful to live in it".

[@johnsrome8459]

Beautifully put, Belinda. What has already been described as the Agony & Ecstacy of being alive - Bukowski always seems to nail it. I'm glad you have decided to embrace life; call it gratitude, call it realisation, call it whatever you want. There is so much love to be shared. A mother holding your hand at graduation. Friends cuddling in for a photograph. The kindness you can show to a grateful stranger. It's all to be cherished as time slips away.

[@akankshaawasthi8680]

Waiting with a certainty of happening is a beautiful process Waiting with uncertainty ...a lesson. - love your work.

[@mermaid8011]

I'm crying. This is so beautiful and full of pain. I feel it.

[@juliaisabella3000]

I just have to thank you so so much for creating these videos. The imagery coupled with the verse is so incredibly moving and profound. I've never read Bukowski before but I've heard of him. Thank you so much

[@joshuapeng831]

the happiness of becoming nothing and feeling calm and beauty of everything.

[@thinetomato7653]

Hi! Thank you for making this channel. It's so rare for me to find this kind of channel and you are doing a great job.

[@markrigz]

The image of the homeless man to 'waiting to live, waiting to die' is heartbreaking, as is the whole poem, as is Bukowski, as is life. For me, Bukowski is the greatest biographer of humanity. I adore what you're doing, please keep it up! Thank you.

[@dibs0equiped]

Yeah that is so sad

[@jiyonseung1069]

I felt like crying at that moment.

[@kyr_giannis]

illneas, I'm sure that someone else has already mentioned it, but the moment I understood that the videos are taken in Greece, and I am watching them at 2:43 after midnight in Greece, is something that brought me goosebumps!

[@shanemeasor5474]

Man I can’t get enough of this channel! Keep up the good work! 👍 👏

[@mahtab.tonmoy]

I frequently listen to Tom. In my mind he is Charles Bukowsky. ❤❤❤

[@rezzo1802]

your video editing is already perfect and getting better and better, your videos are inspirations that happens on my feed once in a while and I'm thankful for it🍀

[@loveme7709]

Each faces it alone... oh! I was once young 🍃. Nearest to reality this poem is, i really heard it thousand of times it's amazing and i really like the man sitting on the grass with pidgeons it is a sign of happiness that we still have nice and kind poeple living around us and we should be thankfull to them. Thankyou to man of this chanel to do amazing effort for us .

[@freeghost5084]

There is this kind of poems, which cannot be discribed in words. 'Cause all needs to be told is there. Being there is all. With your ears, your eyes, with every inch of your skin and each cell of your body till your whole soul is shaked up, and you are becoming the poem itself. No limit, no border, no time, no poem any more. It's one. I love Bukowski. Thank you all of the team "illneas" for your wonderful work. The pictues, the art of cut and the music ... they are just perfect.

[@audrijapal405]

The voice of this man makes everything else cease to exist and add Bukowski's words to the mix and you feel alive in a long time. Dear @illneas, I thank you for the great work you are doing. :)

[@birdman9091]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/emS8p3lofc-CsLs

[@aleehacore]

i can't explain how much i love your videos, they have this strange element of connection to self, as if you're home.

[@mr.exodus3844]

My grandfather was 75 when he passed in a tragic accident at work, he lived his life believing he accomplished little, I think he accomplished a lot in his time but, this poem really makes me think about how he looked at his life, about how he looked at his accomplishments, my grandfather was unfortunately never truly happy or content with his life, he never got to settle or be comfortable in his new home, he died being the only one in his family that did anything and now here I am without him. I truly wish I got to spend more time with him. I really wish we got to do more before his passing, Above All Else I really wish the rest of my family respected his wishes.

[@CJVS995]

I feel you. My grandmother died at 55 suddenly years ago. She was the only thing keeping my family sane and she knew it but she couldn't do it forever. Her body just gave out. Now as I'm getting older I realize the weight she bore.

[@mariazitamako4950]

I could write hundreds of words to express my feelings, the little thoughts I've got during listening and watching it, but I'll rather just say this: thank you, your amazing human being. you give beautiful feelings and bring colors into our grey everyday life by editing these videos. they're perfect. 💚💛

[@esotericpoetry1019]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aZPIaa2kfp5ln9U Watch this lovely poem 😊🙃

[@LemmyCaution66]

I suffer from depression caused by chronic pain. Bukowsky’s poetry makes me cry, like many things do. It’s not sadness. Finally I found my long lost soulmate. He who once was. Who understood and wrote that what I cannot say. Thank you!

[@enso7890]

Hope you're feeling better. Try meditation, if you haven't already.

[@oliviamai6392]

Bukowski is my favourite poet and this channel shines a light on his work. Absolutely beautiful.

[@Anonymous-we4ro]

The feelings are indescribable ! The voice , the photography , the music .. wow

[@blomman3047]

"i am waiting to live, waiting to die" this is the first time i could describe my feelings in words. Thanks Bukowski.

[@mdotkayyshorts]

I am waiting to live To finally breath As the fresh air hits my lungs No worries, no thoughts Just there and sinking in the feeling Time is just a mere object Stress something unheard of I am waiting to live Waiting for a chance to escape Waiting for the right time Ready to see the world Waiting to be ‘Alive’

[@mirceacapota5290]

I cry every time on this, I am a father, my boy is 26, I am 60 and I was a semirockstar. It's the perfection of human perception of life. Makes still one crazy, like Jimi Hendrix, or Jimmy Page or David Gilmoure, or... but still big Buk is from another planet.

[@Rewruio]

I love your channel. Please don't stop making these. I love poetry and I love how tastefully made these are. This truly is art.

[@pink-satan2297]

This makes me feel too much . We’re going to be old one day and nothing about today will matter .

[@markpalcko9753]

I'm waiting to live....this one always hit hard with me. I went from being poor to a career at 36. Now I'm 37 watching my youth fade quickly. My health is a far cry from what it once was and my joints are shot to hell to even try an live. When I was 28 I was into bodybuilding and in my prime, I was poor and hoped at least a few good women would of been in my path. But there was none and no one ever noticed me. I eventually met a woman through the internet, we connected and liked a lot of the same things in life. But she is too far for me to reach. I'm building wealth to maybe someday meet her in her country but now I feel like I'm just waiting to die as I'm getting very tired. I still try to reach my dream job as an artist and that's about all that gives me hope. But think I might die in shallow waters.

[@rocbronson]

This is deep my friend. However, you haven't reached the end line yet! I hope you find all that you are longing for..

[@serumser1]

Stay strong Mark! Hope you doing well Sir!

[@lissie3669]

you've not even lived half your life yet, go out and get what you want, or become content with what you have. Those have to be your only two options

[@markpalcko9753]

@@lissie3669 You're right, the odd thing is after 12 years the woman I met online is now with me and my fiancee. She has helped me a lot in the past 6 months that we are finally in each others lives. I have been making a lot of changes in my life to get what I want and need. The odd thing is though some things in our lives are completely out of our control but in time I guess if you're worthy of it a door will be opened for you. My fiancee wouldn't be here if it wasn't true.... The war in Ukraine is the door that opened up a way for her to come here and live with me in the states. I never thought such a terrible thing like war could also bring some good in life but it has...... so I try to see the good and the bad we all go through in life. It's still not easy with all the mental issues I've picked up along the way but if you find someone you love it keeps you strong to keep going.

[@prithwish5890]

​@@markpalcko9753now you are younger than your late 20s

[@leetaylor4250]

I just want to say that all of your work is so extremely breathtaking. Whenever I’m having a bad day or can’t sleep, I watch your videos and almost automatically more at peace. So thank you for that.

[@illneas]

That's so nice of you, thank you

[@ehsanmohamed8024]

I love your videos man! Please keep making them! They are wonderful and creative and fill me with joy towards poetry more and more

[@SavageFreddy33]

I wish I could get over myself. I want to be a writer like my heroes, but I'm a coward. It takes balls to be a writer. It takes more balls than talent.

[@kapitalpotato3448]

Before this channel I didn’t know I liked poetry. At least I didn’t know I love it this much. You are one of a kind.

[@milka-sx3pv]

me tooo

[@ojasvigaude5066]

It was beautiful. Keep up this amazing work you are doing. Finding your channel here is one of the best thing to happen

[@unrealityit5407]

I think I just found inspo and seeing your channel post random clips is so refreshing

[@glimpserami2044]

Thanks a lot , this channel has become one of my favorite here, Cheer up

[@illneas]

Thank you ^^

[@crazyworld7219]

I hope when it’s my time I would be able to write words as good as these.

[@senorxcoldhands9671]

Great work. Let your work continue to speak for you. The awareness is enough, and now it's up to us to do something positive about it in our very small or tremendous ways. Catch these 💕💕

[@va_k]

I haven’t yet seen much of your work but I am going to change that! What you are doing is amazing and I hope you keep going with the same passion. Needless to say, the video is beautiful. But I am commenting here specifically to thank you for your sincere words in the description. It is evident how truly you are dedicated to your work and what it means to you. Thanks a lot for your sincerity and truthfulness.

[@illneas]

This is so nice of you, thank you so much.

[@CoachDeeFree]

When “numbness” is explained Succinctly and eloquently. Thank you.

[@jacob_ian_decoursey_the_author]

I believe he wrote this while dying of cancer. If that’s so, it makes the poem so much more impactful.

[@esotericpoetry1019]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aZPIaa2kfp5ln9U Watch this poem

[@noraelnahrawi5880]

This is just so beautiful. So beautiful it actually hurts. Thank you for this.

[@tommyaguirre3479]

i don't know what it is about this one that makes me come back to it again and again, i'm still unbelievably young and i can't find the words on how this makes me feel yet.

[@mrsmadtux]

So beautiful. 😭❤️🙏🏻

[@maggie5884]

I was feeling like shit before watching this video, and now, with this beautifully sad poem and that poor stray cat, i feel more sad.

[@TheDimachaerus]

The most beautiful thing I have ever heard. I relate to being ill, and waiting...

[@thiagolarcenflores7227]

Here after a year and got touched by the beauty and simplicity of this shot. Congrats

[@Sh67817]

Though the poem is sad but somehow it motivates me to get out there and live my life to the fullest for 'i am still young'. Beautiful video ♥️

[@hassanbitar1754]

Oh I was once young, Oh I was once, so Unbelievably young.

[@anast2045]

This is so beautiful. Thank you. ❤

[@kay.lies002]

So many views!!! That’s AWESOME! Great job!!

[@ANameIOnceHad]

"No plough stops for the dying man."

[@rumaisacolours4472]

I keep looking at my tears till they fall down I keep pushing the pain till it starts pushing me down I don't know whether I'll survive or I'll make others moan at my funeral As hard as they made me cry till My head became numb and my pillow as wet as my heart lost in the ocean stuck in stricking waves trying to get to the shore No it won't till you hold me hard in your arms as hard as two walnut shells hugging with God's will

[@tntramzy12]

Your the man bro! Great respect to your project and great love for how you have bought me into poetry

[@eleniapostolidou9721]

I feel so touched watching this! It was filmed in my neighborhood! Nice work!

[@kareemzidane7039]

@illneas I'm so glad to see you growing

[@illneas]

Hello again Kareem, I also feel that the videos became a bit more mature and effortless. Thank you for the support.

[@kareemzidane7039]

@@illneas They are indeed, Would be glad if the videos can be little longer and sorted in playlist by author. But of course whichever makes you comfortable and doing what you love will make me happy! Cheers :)

[@evanoshea9506]

What did you film this with, the color is so appropriate.... the music and everything. Beautiful stylistic choices

[@alenparker3056]

My psychology resembles that of Bukowski’s, each video reinforces that statement. Thank you very much for releasing these poems.

[@neophyte6926]

In quarantine days only way i had to overcome this excruciating mental fatigue was Bukowski poems…very thankful to you all gave me power

[@LifeOfRiza]

this gave me a lil ache in my chest.

[@AragonaAlessandro]

I'm 37 and... There's nothing to declare here. I wish I could ring in some bravery. it's a lousy fix.

[@drdinabandhusahoo7894]

Beautiful human, beautiful poem, now my beautiful life. Thank you for everything- good, never bad. Thank you, I am no longer sad.

[@Pulkit164]

Great work illness, I only watch the charles bukowski ON your channel but it's simply amazing, thanks.

[@farrider3339]

Waiting & Wishing show unwillingness to accept .•°

[@farfromtherest]

Striking lines-" I'm waiting to live, waiting to die."

[@fezs9027]

Your work is awe-inspiring & I can't even begin to explain what a profound impact you have ; so meticulous and perfect cadence.... Softly stroking each word like a grand piano 🎹. I commend you sir .

[@illneas]

Wow, thank you!

[@salome3049]

So good! Fine job. Noble idea. And the choice of the narrator is perfect.

[@TreStonesss]

When will we realize we are our greatest enemies, not those around us. If the enemy within is defeated the enemy outside can do us no harm. In the Bible Paul tells us to die daily. Whether or not you believe the bible or not the principle still stands the same. Crucify your flesh make yourself uncomfortable and grow.stop thinking yourself into depressed state of mind and make the most out of your life

[@dinocorreia1202]

You're waiting to live. I am waiting for your video. Wait.......why we hate wait?

[@illneas]

Hahahaha

[@luciabraithwaite3446]

Bukowski by Illneas - before bedtime, food for soul. Thank you

[@ghazalmoenie3381]

I needed this. I needed a KZbin channel like this! Thank u🖤🙏

[@illneas]

Thank you for stopping by. Take care ^^

[@illiteratefilipino2073]

MAGIC MUSHROOM ONCE SAID TO ME: DMT CAN CHANGE ANYONE WITH A GOOD SOUL. Well im just tripping as hell

[@bladea_boi5104]

This is not actually Charles’s voice right ?

[@poorni4742]

No

[@swayaway3422]

Absolutely beautiful ♥️thank you so much for this beauty

[@vijucat]

Beautiful video and music, too, my friend

[@neutralfog]

Okay, now. I have a feedback. The shots aren't that good honestly. I still can feel the homemade vibe to it. The color grading isn't on point. Also, please. Please ! Remove that intro in each of your videos. It's really a bad introduction to what's coming. Especially that sound effect. Just use a fade in of your logo and let it appear with the first notes of the music that will play in the video for a more mysterious effect. Also, check that channel in the link below. It will be really helpful. I really want you to watch their video about angles of shots in videos. I love your channel. Much love and appreciation for what you do. I keep sharing your content with all my friends. kzbin.info

[@thelitmango6333]

the homemade vibe gives a certain aesthetic to the way he presents it, i enjoy it because just like the raw poetry he shares his shots are very raw.

[@johnsrome8459]

Boy, you have really gone to town with everything you think is lacking in illneas' films! Coming from a sound editing background, I put my tuppence worth in too at the very beginning, several months ago, about how illneas could technically improve. I deeply regret that now. Your undoubtedly well informed feedback (dissolve the logo into this - completely disagree - the shots are amateurish, learn new angles, etc., etc.,) is, well, I'm sorry, it's tedious, self-referential & seemingly oblivious to the fact that thousands of subscribers like what they see, as it is. This is illneas's channel. He's not on a film course, waiting for points out of ten. Take it or leave it. Your feedback reminds me of why I quickly became unhappy with my old comments about manipulating sound levels. It smacks of being an insufferable bore & misses the point of the overall aesthetic and the emotional resonance. I'm sure you mean no harm. I wouldn't suggest that for a second. illneas knows what he's doing with very, very little equipment and is fully aware that he is untrained. Still, his films delight & touch the hearts of so many people to an extraordinary degree. Maybe have a look at 'Misery' again? You think that's visually amateur? Again, no disrespect intended. I have become rather protective of the young man's work. Best wishes to you.

[@neutralfog]

@@johnsrome8459 I think he succeeded in previous videos more than this one.

[@johnsrome8459]

@@neutralfog Hello again. Thank you for the very calm response to my typically rambling comment. Very civil of you. Short answer: I agree. Technically, not the most polished. Emotionally, however, it's up there with the best. That's why I suggested watching illneas' 'Misery", if you're looking for cinematographic skill. I can only speak for myself but I think it's rather beautiful & accomplished. It's a thin line between wanting to encourage someone's work & being overbearing or worse, missing the fucking point altogether. I have crossed that line many a time myself! Respectfully yours, John.

[@screwstigmaproject9074]

This is unbelievably heartfelt,wow.

[@luckycharm6504]

This has such a peaceful atmosphere, I love it!

[@jacobrackham432]

The biggest commitment one can make in life is to love and stay with that love. Because in its very action you will be forced to watch the thing you love the most slowly dying. Each day getting a little closer to the end. Yet it is the human condition to force ourselves to go through this most painful of experiences. Sometimes repeating this tragedy more than once knowing the inevitable outcome. Is the alternative any less painful? probably not, yet by going alone do we not force others to witness such horrors.

[@dbophuk1]

Great job! Thank you for this!

[@cindyfos]

Thank you very much!!!! Loved it!!!! Helped me for studying Bukowski, I am an actor and singer from Argentina, I offer my voice to narrate, beautiful work, and thanks again Illneas. Blessings

[@charlesb2895]

This gives meaning to the words in an incredible way. It hits deep

[@erikhiserodt6433]

It's really great to see how exponentially your channel is increasing you deserve it Illneas keep it up :)

[@illneas]

Thank you Erik, cheers