Social anxiety skills you won't learn in school

Learn these 4 skills to feel more confident when you're socially anxious.
Learn more:
- Social Anxiety Disorder explained for beginners: • Social Anxiety Disorde...
- Top Social Anxiety Tips for Confidence: • Top Social Anxiety Tip...
- How to listen like a therapist: 4 secret skills: • How to listen like a t...
Contents:
0:00 - Intro
0:20 - Effective compliments
3:09 - Open-ended questions
4:18 - Know what you have in common
5:15 - Reflect back
6:46 - Why this works
Connect with Ali:
Discord ► / discord
Twitter ► / alimattu​
Facebook ► / thepsychshow​
Instagram ► / alimattu​
TikTok ► / alimattuphd
Patreon ► / thepsychshow​
Email ► [e-mail]
Website ► alimattu.com/​
For information purposes only. Does not constitute clinical advice. Consult your local medical authority for advice. The information in this video was accurate as of the upload date, November 11, 2022.
If you or someone you know needs help immediately, you should take one of the following actions:
- call 9-8-8 in the United States or your country's emergency number: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...
- call the Lifeline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255) in the United States or a global crisis hotlines: findahelpline.com/i/iasp
- text START to 741-741 in the United States or visit www.crisistextline.org
- go to your nearest hospital emergency room

[@drali]

What's your go to conversation starter?

[@simmyloo1514]

I love your nail polish! That's my go-to. And it always makes the person smile. I find that if you look at the person and see what that person spent a lot of time on, whether it's their hair or their nails or one particular thing style wise, they will appreciate that the time they spent was noticed.

[@drali]

@@simmyloo1514 great effective compliment!

[@simmyloo1514]

LOVE your videos! Thank you so much for doing them! ✌️

[@drali]

@@simmyloo1514 thank you for the kind comment!

[@tehb357]

I don't have a specific starter necessarily, but I've found asking about what someone has done already/lately or what their general lifestyle is like (while being more specific than just "how have things been") is as non-intrusive as it can be. If someone at a bus stop asks me where I'm going/doing later, I may feel uncomfortable divulging for privacy reasons. But if I'm asked what I've been up to today or what brought me here, it's in the past so it's less threatening.

[@Kyshalise]

Just found your channel you are helping me so much already. You make me feel sane and normal… Like I’m not the only one going through this!

[@SearchOfSelf]

True social anxiety is a torture. People who don't have it will never understand. Even something as simple as going to the store seems impossible 😿

[@nikicarrie4071]

I stg. I would stay in my car 30 minutes before I went in. It's horrible. Torture seriously. Mental illness is Torture ❤

[@SearchOfSelf]

@@nikicarrie4071 I feel you. Sending you strength and love ♥

[@nikicarrie4071]

@@SearchOfSelf ty ❤️

[@lizardperson2293]

Your videos have helped me so much over the years! What I thought was social anxiety turned out to be autism, but your videos still help me navigate the neurotypical world! Thanks!

[@drali]

Thank you for your comment! Means a lot to have played some role in your mental health journey. This makes me think perhaps I should do a Autism Spectrum versus Social Anxiety video…

[@lizardperson2293]

​@@drali I think it would be incredibly helpful to both groups! This experience seems to be very common among people who receive a late diagnosis for autism, so knowing the difference(s) may help others get the appropriate kind of help more quickly.

[@pascalsemmler2995]

ive seen many "how to get over ur social anxiety" vids already but noone ever explained it that detailed. You explained how to actually give a effective compliment. Thanks for the great support!

[@drali]

Thanks for the kind comment!

[@getactivationenergy]

Dr. Ali, you have great perspective on social skills which many take for granted, like complimenting effectively and meaningfully. I see my own kids in elementary and middle school and wish there was more emphasis on their emotional education in school, to compliment what we talk about and practice at home.

[@Beaheadoeverybody]

Everything you do helps us all and encourage us all with social anxiety to not give up and to keep going in live thanks for everything you do doctor Ali please don't ever stop with all the great work you do for all of us with social anxiety keep making more videos everyday often stay constant with the videos thank you Doctor Ali

[@drali]

Thank you for this encouraging comment!!!!!!!

[@wilsonrodrigues377]

Thank you for bringing hope and being pratical about this topic, i really enjoy it :) I´ve been doing teraphy for 5 Long years and felt stuck and dragged about it i´ve been consumed with frustration about trying to develop more social skills and thank you for being a kind teraphist that brings joy and light to your viewers!

[@heathermcgrath4541]

This video has been so helpful! Actual concrete advice on how to deal with socialising with social anxiety is so rare to come by. Thank you so much for this video, it means a lot!

[@salpivartivarian1615]

Thanks a lot for your videos! You're a treasure.

[@whatdoesthisthingdo]

I appreciate your choice to share these valuable skills.

[@drali]

My pleasure!

[@allstartournaments9851]

Appreciate your efforts doc, your videos have been helpful to me. Keep up the good work.

[@drali]

Thank you!!! So happy they’ve helped 😀

[@LM-ml2uc]

Just walking through these scenarios are giving me anxiety 😅

[@drali]

Then that means they’re probably good social anxiety exposure exercises for you to try in the future 🙌🏽

[@mazmar184]

Even the non verbal communication... 🙌

[@rickjohnson9110]

when somebody says "nice bike or truck or other" ( i ride a ducati) I say " on behalf Ducati thank you and may say more about the interesting features or the bike" I say this because I had nothing to do with building it or designing it.

[@drali]

Nice bike. I briefly worked at a motorcycle startup in high school. Was a fan of Ducatis and the Yamaha R6.

[@sahiabhi]

so my situation is little different like i am feeling nausea beause of anxiety in my college or class as whenever there is a activity in which teacher gonna pick random students and gonna ask some questions in front of everybody and these questions are totally on any random subject like tell me about a song you like in these type of situations i feel very nervous and my anxiety just start hitting the roofs what can i do here HELP ME OUT PLEASE

[@godschild6673]

Can you kindly help me?

[@ArtyHusam]

I have alot of questions

[@eddiew2325]

Yes Hussam I will go out with you

[@amysinger2201]

Dale Carnegie approved ;)

[@drali]

“How to win friends…” still holds up 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽