Social Invisibility: The Ugly Girl’s Harsh Reality

[@xxcxxy]

no one talks about the confusion when you actually have a glow up and how much the past affects your mindset even after you start looking better

[@BethyOsSpongebob]

yup

[@BethyOsSpongebob]

people treat me like im so shallow and always expect my kindness to be fake (ironic). They just dont understand i never used to be beautiful, in fact nobody ever treated me like i was a day in my life. Inside or out. So i grew my qualities and grew into my face as well. Now people doubt if i have a good personality and treat my interests like they are something i am faking for relatability.

[@BethyOsSpongebob]

My whole like ive been made to feel like a bug, and now theyd smite me for being a butterfly. Ive decided in whatever game this is i cant win. But i can fly! Ill just enjoy the sun when its on my face and sleep peacefully knowing i try my best.

[@joshb7326]

What about the ugly people who never even get a glow up....

[@soichangedmyusername]

I "glew up" - and these last few years have been the most depressing of my life. It made me hate people in general

[@piryt]

It scares me that everything I do is motivated by the desire to be loved. It's just coming from a very unhealthy place and trauma. I'm afraid of changes for the better, because it may turn out that everything I have been doing for years has lost its meaning.

[@Broooooo-ww7hw]

You can always depend on ✝️.

[@KristinaIsmolli]

Maybe you should ask yourself what do you really want to do in life and not what others wants you to do in life

[@MartysMatzoBalls]

It's natural to be motivated by love. And it's very likely everything you've been doing over the years never had any meaning to begin with. Deep down you probably knew it the whole time

[@iknowyouvebeenwaiting]

Well, the desire to be loved is a natural human trait. So you can’t really escape it

[@henriette7669]

Girl I feel it ❤

[@pushpush246]

It's isn't just ugly .it's also poor or even kids with neglectful parents .

[@shanouboubou]

THIS!!!!

[@SueWoods-xj5kf]

Growing up just above the poverty line definitely affected me as a kid and it resulted in behavioral issues too because I wasn't accepted as I am.

[@littleleah310]

fr

[@sippinlean277]

Please turn to Jesus he loves you so much

[@DT-bc3xj]

I think I can relate to this, I was raised in a poor family. I don't have nice clothes so I felt insecure hanging out with friends. My house is a mess that I don't want friends to come over. I have ugly teeth, out of place and not do anything to fix it (don't have money to go to the doctor) and never thought to fix it until now.

[@thetwelfth9987]

Been a ghost girl my whole life, I detest dating apps, opportunities to date never came. I was straight up ugly and weird as a teen. Even after glowing up and improving my appaerence guys didn’t show any concrete signs of interest, so maybe I can’t attract anyone because I’m just too reserved and have low social battery, maybe because I’m surrounded by girls prettier and bubblier than me who get all the attention. I wish I could share my life with someone, but if that is not meant to be, then I’ll surrender it to God, as I’m learning about His Wisdom every day.

[@Birdlegs14]

I guarantee it’s because you’re reserved. There are many men who are attracted to you im certain of it. But guess who tends to like shy girls the most… shy guys. Bubbly girls put themselves out there to the point even shy guys can talk to them. But if you’re both shy then it never happens. Im certain if you take the first step and put yourself infront of guys you’ll find success

[@thetwelfth9987]

@@Birdlegs14 shy guys: if you catch one, you might as well consider yourself a certified professional deer hunter 🦌 This may actually be a good tip, I don’t know what _kind_ of man I should look for. Better go, wish me luck- *loads old-fashioned rifle*

[@orangeyellow-me1pz]

This is some BS. most girls get hit on; they're just picky and normally all want the same dudes.

[@KovCapyWizz]

​​@@orangeyellow-me1pzwaw. Thats some incel shit right there. Dont go down that road. Dont bunch people in to groups. It doesnt help. I could be an ass about your missguided comment but, lets try this. Someone probs hurt u didnt they? What happened?

[@thetwelfth9987]

@@orangeyellow-me1pz I had many crushes over the years, all were one-sided. I’d wait and look for signs, but in the end I would always be the one to make the first move to start things, each time they’d either not reciprocate, ignore me or reject me. You can tell when a guy is interested in you, if he doesn’t show willingness to get close to you in *any* way, he doesn’t want you.

[@RachelBrennerReal]

Hidden Manifestation by Oliver Mercer (thank me later)

[@carseatfries4369]

As I got older I learned that a lot of people have the same insecurities. I don’t love myself, I doubt I ever will but I hate myself less everyday. Go find a hobby, and talk to the people in those communities. You will end up finding a lot of friendships as long as you are proactive and is willing to approach people.

[@sarh23]

Initially I was like "but she's so pretty, how could she ever be the not-pretty or ugly girl?!" and then when you ppinted out that you were the only back girl it suddenly hit me, of course, racism, some people stupidly believing that the colour of your skin changes your attractiveness

[@jurassicthunder]

it does. get over it.

[@GaboH-h7s]

Well I like women of all races but preferences exist, I was always attracted to Asian women

[@Torpedoman316]

Yes when you can't explain anything else, immediately jump to racism. That always works

[@A1Kirazz]

@@jurassicthunderDepends. Latinas, Asian, and European women are all fine. Even some women from Tunisia and northern Africa are gorgeous. Subsaharan Africa is ugly though.

[@josephdillon9698]

Usually black women are mean and angry. Some are beautiful but the attitude is way too much.

[@gothic_xombie]

can the men in the comments stop saying “welcome to the average life of dudes”? like it sucks for everyone!! we get it. but can women not have 1 video without y’all whining about this being normal for you? as if it’s some kind of competition. it’s literally a video directed at women it’s not for you, it’s not about you, you’re not the target audience. so if you wanna be here, be respectful of the target audience. also i have seen far more women give dude’s a chance than a dude will give them a chance - don’t shoot the messenger.

[@TiktokBro154]

Boohoo go hit the gym and get some money and maybe then you can get a 6'6 boyfriend that you desire

[@badge5575]

You are crazy if you think most women give dudes a chance go ask those dudes that got a chance how many rejections they faced before getting a chance

[@gothic_xombie]

@@TiktokBro154 dude, don’t unload your fantasy onto me and try to pass it off as mine

[@gothic_xombie]

@@badge5575 i don’t have to ask they whine about it all the time in the comments section

[@TiktokBro154]

@@gothic_xombie What fantasy? Isn't a tall man every woman's dream guy?

[@emyywolf]

Even after a glow-up and weightloss. I’ve kept the fatgirl mentality. And now in my 20s I absolutely despise everyone. At least if they’re a stranger. I see everyone who’s a complete stranger as a detriment and a threat. You will still get bullied in adulthood if you’re in college or workplace.

[@rukittenmerightnow]

I had a glow up and even tho I feel more attractive now, ppl will still bully you irl. Esp if you're a woc. I personally ignore ppl bc if they treat me like that then I'd rather be alone

[@sarahbarabe4990]

This is so real I don't know how to choose who to interact with because everyone is a potential threat

[@katip8554]

i swear it took me a decade after i finished high school to not be scared of random teenagers on the street because i was sure that they don't like me and therefore will bully me. i'm now nearly 30 and i have to consciously tell myself all the time when i'm out and about that random people, especially teenagers, don't spend thinking about me for more than these 5 seconds i spend on thinking about them when i pass them on the street or see them somewhere. the fear is real for a long time when you get bullied in school, it really messes with your brain

[@michi-bi]

Having a positive mindset is attractive. You need to heal from your trama and let it go for your mental health. Dont be mean too people or despise people.... I wasnt physically attractive as a kid and people tried to bully me, but I never took value of what they said. I guess i unnerve them, they ended up leaving me alone. If you mean to mee and i didnt do anything wrong, I'll assume your either jealous of mee/ intimidated by me or you have mental struggles. Reacting to them, gives them power. so dont give them the time of day.

[@Coco-xq7zh]

I can relate. Being in my 20s now and I feel like I’ve became colder.

[@felixcatux]

I was the girl that all the guys would joke about. They’d come up to me and be like ”Hey, [friend x] has a crush on you” and immediately burst into laughter and go ”EWWWWW NEVER!!!” because the mere concept of anybody ever thinking i was even somewhat desirable was so outlandish and unbelievable to them. Everyone did this all the time.

[@SonyeoMargit]

Sad to hear. Dont belive them. You have to reverse it yourself now.

[@TheOis1984]

i knew someone from my school years who shared your experience.

[@brandonlamb9067]

That’s too bad. So sorry about that

[@felixcatux]

@@SonyeoMargit Ummmm thats easier said than done. Im sorry but saying ”just be confident” or anything similar to someone who’s been told that theyre hideous their entire life is just as effective as trying to eat soup with a fork.

[@MM_______0_______SS]

dont cry about them, they probably dont wash their hands after using toilet lmao

[@visualbrick6574]

some of the best advice ive learned is that "it is worse to look at a situation and see the potential negative outcomes. It is better to look at a situation and see the potential positive outcomes. Chase that potential positive, and if you did your part to make the good outcome, its the fault of others that things went bad. Just do your part" it changed my life. I learned this from a dude who i knew for 2 days whose name I cant even remember

[@reedy_9619]

You’re right i’ll stop looking before crossing the road. I could get rich by suing or stop needing money Fear shall not steal my opportunities

[@EriH-ed9ir]

​@@reedy_9619I almost passed out 🤣🤣🤣

[@starcatcher3691]

High hopes but low expectations

[@isa-morena]

I feel like being a woman there's these things that should "just be". Like no I don't have the looks, the charisma, my body is the universally hated apple shape, my mannerisms are considered weird and not quirky. For the longest my inability to be a woman really made me wonder my womanhood. You think you can find love and understanding with other underachievers but you can tell they're always looking out for the chance to catch a real hottie. I think staying away from men and people in general is better for my mental well-being.

[@scorpieeeee]

being a woman = being a consumer of the beauty industry and being dependent on other people's attention?

[@isa-morena]

@@scorpieeeee well no, being a woman quite literally just means adult human female but that was the messaging that I received from all the adult figures in my life. Even my own parents have called me a failure of a woman for not living up to the beauty standards that were quite literally beaten into me. But frankly I do like myself too much to even try to conform anymore.

[@scorpieeeee]

@@isa-morena Beauty standards change every 10 years, which already suggests that they cannot determine someone's objective value. Marilyn Monroe is "fattie" these days. but I won't argue that participating in the beauty standards race brings you more social status and expands your dating circle but that doesn't mean you won't find love or friends, not everyone believes in the standards of beauty at heart, although most give credit to those who participate your parents told you nonsense, even if it was for “good” reasons. you can't treat your children like that. I hope you have recovered from this treatment.

[@55CINCO55]

@@scorpieeeee What humans find attractive doesn't change (at least during the period of a human lifespan). What are you saying??

[@scorpieeeee]

@@55CINCO55 then explain the phenomenon of beauty standards and the beauty industry especially if you look at how these standards have changed over the centuries so explain what you are saying?

[@alexandermoody1946]

I am going to assume my daughter has been watching your videos on my account and I would like to say thank you for your efforts to reinforce confidence in young women and girls.

[@BethyOsSpongebob]

I grew up one of the only white kids in an indigenous school. My hair was frizzy and always looked greasy if i straightened it (and boy did i). My skin pale, sickly, and covered in acne. My body hair dark and stood out, and i was tiny and malnourished surrounded by tall, strong, athletic, long and pin needle straight haired beautiful women with perfect skin and eyebrows. I was often told so many negative things about me so casually, and if theu wanted to hide what they were saying they would just say it in mohawk

[@BethyOsSpongebob]

My skin, my hair, my home, where i lived, how tall i was, what i ate, how i danced, what i wore, whay i sang, whay god i believed in, what sport i played. There was nothing i could do right in the eyes of the people around me. I was the butt end of almost every joke for years within evem my friend circles. I didnt want to befriend a lot of the other white people in school because they were from very conservative (hella racist and homophobic) families, and our views just did not align. When i started to self harm, i was publicly humiliated by my best friend. I was the bug in the room it felt everyone wanted to squash and i became a very angry person for a very long time.

[@BethyOsSpongebob]

Eventually i just lost me. I didnt know who i was, what i wanted, what i looked like. I was just a shell and people did with me whatever they pleased. I became someone who would cross the line by any means to get people to just leave me alone and leave me to nyself in peace. I spent years isolated and hiding in a bedroom just rotting and coping with music. I was suicidal, i was a mess. Slowly over time my fire relit again with academics and by the time i went to college at 21, i guess id gotten prettier

[@BethyOsSpongebob]

Maybe i was always pretty. Maybe im full of myself now. College changed things? I guess people did find me attractive. But by then i just didnt care. My biggest wish was to be so ugly people would leave me in a cave and never look to me again. I thought that i was completely unloveable. A decade of dedicating myself to neurology and body neutrality. An autism diagnosis, years of domestic violence counseling and therapy. One beautiful daughter and a career in healthcare that i love. 2 cute cats and a car that helps me traverse any backroad with cute flowers i can find. I can say i am finally happy. Maybe that is what is beautiful about me now. I am still often ashamed of things about me that i know i cannot change. But im going to keep trying. I would love to find a peaceful and beautiful way to express these feelings so that i can let them go in a place i feel is worthy to be the burial of my grief. But maybe that is just an excuse that i use to hold onto it for longer than i should.

[@BethyOsSpongebob]

I know that my experience is not common for people of my background and i dont want to allow myself or anyone else to utilize it as a form of erasure towards millions of minorities that have to face this every single day of their lives, and for the rest of their lives. My childhood: i can walk out of with no visible scars or traits that give away my struggle. It is something i can set down, something that i am able to leave behind. The color of my skin is a privilege and i do not deny the privileges that come with it. I hope that my experience, if anything, will help other to know that they are not alone. I see you, and i send nothing but love to you 💗

[@visualbrick6574]

im sorry to hear that. people can be nasty

[@TheCecchino98]

Being ugly as a man is pretty bad but i can't imagine how hard it must be for a woman. It's good that someone speaks about this and the advice here is great. I really like the part about accepting yourself and not making up for your looks with other aspects of your life. However, that shouldn't be interpreted as self improvement being useless. Having hobbies, a positive personality and all of the small things mentioned in the video will make you miles more attractive and likeable, regardless of your appearence. Do it for the right reasons and choose things that you value.

[@badge5575]

Being an ugly man is harder

[@simon_777]

​@@badge5575you've tested both?

[@theblazingace3537]

​@@simon_777quite easy to do in 2024😂

[@tiaphar1056]

The title is calling me out so hard rn staph it-----

[@pheonixwilson5577]

Is the ugly in the room with us?

[@jessirome96]

It’s true I keep seeing videos where cute/pretty girls are like “just love yourself” or “be more confident follow these easy steps” even my therapist told me the same and I’m like you don’t get it you never been ignored quite literally all your life you never been hoping one of the boys asks you to prom or dance while all of your friends do except you and when u do decide and have the courage to ask someone out they laugh say no or when you tell someone you like them they even get offended/mad bc your so ugly it “insults” them how Dare you? Think Somome cute or pretty can go out with you specially if you are a female you should talk about that next for some reason girls can ignore looks and focus on personality that’s why you see pretty girls with ugly guys but your rarely see an attractive/cute guy with an ugly girl right ? Sh!t sometimes I even hear females say well I don’t like him (chemistry wise) but ima give him a chance but NOT guys like if your not cute or pretty don’t even look at me

[@badge5575]

That is cal girls can’t ignore looks it’s the biggest lie society fed boys since they are young that girls only care about personality it’s a whole lot of 🐂💩

[@badge5575]

Statistics say otherwise you can look it up rich not women find 80% of men unattractive

[@Jaleel_HS]

not a woman and not able to relate on that particular level. but i am able to empathize. i love that youtube has given so many people the avenue and platforms to speak about these things. I’ve come across a lot of channels that tackle topics like yours on this video and thank you for sharing about it.

[@Goldenac]

I definitely don’t hate myself. But I was genuinely treated as if I didn’t exist growing up(the only time my existence was acknowledged is when I was bullied) I’ve never had a boyfriend men have never noticed me and I never had friends then. It was a very difficult time and it made me realise a harsh truth people are very shallow.

[@HaleyMary]

Thank you for making this video. I often feel invisible. Guys hardly ever ask me out. When they do, they never follow through which makes me wonder if they just ask me out as a joke or until someone they really want comes along.

[@idkheheMemeMaster]

Then they don’t deserve you fr If they don’t follow through it shows they’re too immature for you❤️‍🔥 Good thing you didn’t waste time with those boogers

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

omg i know what you mean, i once had a guy ask me out as a JOKE but i thought he was being for real so i said yes 🤡🤡🤡🙃 so then i spent the whole week being like... why isn't he with me all the time, why isn't he sitting with me at lunch. then i heard him making fun of me on the bus and i realised lol🥲

[@Turshin]

​@ChristinaAaliyah wow that's mean.

[@handlebar4520]

ngl, most guys aren't asking anyone out, for many reasons, It's not just you. But I think we need to collectively have a reality check because our ideas of what "normal man and women" look like, and actually are, are probably too different things. As far as I'm aware (being a guy myself), most guys growing up are invisible, that's because what the "average guy" is actually like is closer to the "school loser" who gets no attention and is brushed off by everyone else, than probably the "average guy" you might (or might not) be thinking about. Another thing, the attention you think you might want from guys, like getting asked out, is really not all it's cracked up to be. This is the same for both men and women, but moreso men as it's more normalized in our culture. A lot of guys out there are pretty scummy, (weather they're doing it on purpose or not) and will probably not have the best relationship skills, it's something we have to work on, but sadly never get the chance to, so a lot of guys default to just asking women out for sex and jump right into the deep end, without seeking to build a healthy relationship where both partners understand each other and are on equal footing. If you want more interaction with guys that doesn't make you feel as invisible, I'd try to start as friends with some, a low emotional investment point easy to bail on if things turn sour, just be sure to make things CRYSTAL (and I mean as clear as humanly possible) clear where you stand with your guy friends, you might have to be painfully honest, and if you're worried about it hurting your friendships, then they weren't friends worth having in the first place if they bail on you because you "friendzone" them or whatever. But being the centre of attention, especially from men, is really not good for you, or probably what will make you happier, in my opinion.

[@HaleyMary]

@@handlebar4520 I have lots of guy friends. None of those friendships have ever turned into a relationship. If the attraction isn't there, I don't force it. The few times I have been asked out, the guy either bullies me for not having sex with him which isn't much time at all. I'm talking after a couple weeks and that it doesn't even come up in conversation, they just default to bullying. Why do men sex zone women without getting to know them?

[@mikloridden8276]

As a guy going through this it’s tough, occasionally I’d feel confident enough but only to get put down. Post glow up blues sucks I just stick to myself now since the outside breaks me

[@boborson5536]

Felt attacked for 18 minutes straight, but feel I came out more confident and secure in myself. Thank you.

[@everasea]

THANK YOUUU omg so relevant and did not expect this specific topic 😭

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

your welcome queen

[@StaceyQ22]

Wow you touched on all the points! Beautifully said and concise! I agree with this bc it’s actually rooted in psychology. The more insecure you are, the more you will just blame it on your looks and keep yourself from changing the inside. It’s a cop out narcissistic way of viewing yourself. For example some of the MOST beautiful women have this very negative view of themselves which keeps them from seeing their beauty even if the whole world tells them otherwise. And like you said, the left out friend is usually the “boring” friend bc they are avoidant and never truly let their personality shine bc at home their parents would shame them for every little thing or for just being themselves.

[@diamondedevil]

this

[@Zalaria.]

I don't care if I'm ugly. I just don't care. If I lived somewhere else in the world maybe I would be considered pretty? Who knows. But you know when I'm dead. It won't matter. Oh well

[@Eze-j3p]

Um I find that hard to believe maybe you're the one percent that doesn't crave that acceptance and privilege but I'd hate to not find love and have low self esteem because of my looks

[@Zalaria.]

I'm pretty sure there's more than one percent of people in the world who just don't care. And ugly is a way of thinking and perception. I feel like being told I'm ugly fit so long has affected how I feel. But I'm slowly letting that fall away. It takes time. But look at 100 year old people. Even if I got plastic surgery and spent tons of money to be considered attractive to others. At some point I'm still going to become an old wrinkly person. And I value taking care of people in the world. Making a difference. And just letting what I look like on the outside not matter. I bush my teeth, wash my face, wear clean clothes and focus on other things. If the mirror or the camera showed you watch your heart looks like, what would others and you see? I feel like that matters more.

[@rominaprograma]

Same. I don't care anymore, I've another hard problems in life

[@reggiestockton8166]

I'm glad you talked about putting in effort into building relationships and dating. That's why I stopped dating. I felt like I was the one doing everything always. Carrying the conversation, planning the dates and paying, etc while the women I date were just sitting there and judging. I understand with gender roles its expected that the man lead, but its nice if my effort and interest was reciprocated. When you mentioned people doing more in relationships when they feel less attractive might be true. Which is why the dynamic especially gets on my nerves. I usually don't feel less attractive than the women I date, but I still feel like I'm always jumping through hoops while they sit there and don't even try to demonstrate any qualities that would make them a long term partner.

[@enken567]

Amazing video. I am almost 62 and was one of 2 black girls in my class in London. I struggled with everything you have mentioned. I love how gen z are able to articulate so much of what I was feeling but was not allowed to voice back in the 70s. Splitting generations up is deliberate and damaging. We all learn from each other at all ages. I'm gonna share this with my daughter who undoubtedly has her own struggles. Thank you for this video. It clarifies so much and will help me to continue healing my younger self. It has cone at a critical moment in my journey with self. New older subscriber .

[@Cucumberflavoredmustard]

In the real world after high school, being pretty helps but it's not the whole deal. Being in shape, friendly, and stylish go a long way.

[@GhostDiedTwice]

thank you for being awesome :D

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

thanks, right back at u

[@kittenpounce7103]

No, she is absolutely correct. When I was a young adult, i was considered attractive. Later, i gained a bunch of weight and cut my hair short. The way people treated me was VERY different. Men absolutely stopped talking to me. Some of them would look offended if I tried to talk to them. Women were actually slightly nicer to me but when I was in public, I felt worse than invisible. I felt disgusting. Later, i lost some weight and my hair grew back out and yes, men treat me differently. But now, I hate them all. Because I know it's all shallow, and when I was "ugly" they didnt even treat me like a person.

[@brandonlamb9067]

It’s to be expected. No offence. Sex and intimate relationships are the ultimate goal in life. Men will think about this first when looking at women so you turning them off is a result of them being repulsed by the idea of having you as a sexual partner. Girls are the same way except their benchmarks for sexual partners varies based off men’s physical attractiveness mixed with confidence

[@nessinay1535]

​@@brandonlamb9067Dude thinks he has all the answers.

[@brandonlamb9067]

@@nessinay1535 Think? I don't do that. I either know or I don't. In this case, I do

[@user-moon_uni]

The girl she talked about in the intro feels like she just described me......, It do hurts to be ugly

[@lewissteward65]

Eh I doubt it remember the person you see in the mirror is not the person others see

[@ivanthaboi]

Watching this as a guy because your videos are fire. I've started to feel more and more lonely despite feeling just about as isolated if not less than I used to be. I feel the parts about self hate and not knowing how i could ever get into a romantic relationship. Idk how some people just have it so easy with that stuff. My home life, social isolation and fear of opening up due to low confidence makes a romantic relationship feel unachievable for another like 5 years or something and even friendships feel difficult to keep and maintain due to me not knowing how to keep more than like 3 friends and yet again the fear of opening up.

[@somethingawesome1462]

Yeah I find myself reminding myself that I can’t spend all my time at home and need to get out sometimes. Not necessarily to find a gf, but more bc it’s important to socialize outside of a work setting

[@Imjustkendall]

She’s actually so pretty

[@Melly16yr10]

You look pretty to me

[@hoked2194]

She looks pretty to a lot of people, just not the types of people she wants to be visible to...

[@Romantic_Juliet]

@@hoked2194 Thank you 😭💗

[@KK-pu8tr]

⁠@@hoked2194or the type of people she’s around? Or at least that’s my experience as a black woman in a predominantly white country

[@slm20408]

Have the same thing, but not cuz I'm ugly it's cuz I barley speak, I can enter convos and exit, without anyone noticing

[@celiasisii3617]

Honestly i ve been ugly for whole my life its not my appearance..its about the trauma that my face has sucked and this why most of ppl look ugly and as soon as i healed from the trauma and being able to become confident girl ..a lot of people is attracting to me and to my energy

[@amelioravictoriadionyssia3323]

Most "ugly" girls aren't actually ugly. They're just plain. Which isn't actually a bad thing, but it's less desirable. I think we confuse desirability with value a lot of the time. I think we women kind of degrade each other's value by diminishing ourselves with this conflation. Look at Albert Einstein. He said "try not to become a person of success, but a person of value." So I think about this a lot in my life, being alone and avoiding relationships in general; and when I really consider it i feel more interested in obtaining skills that I want to learn. I think women have a problem with being externally motivated, especially by sex, and it's not helpful to what women represent. Because if you need a man to be valuable, then you're reducing yourself to a sex object, which is not a dignified position to relate to life from. Reproduction is the last bastion of reality before death. We reproduce because we die; but on the contrary, we enjoy things like art, entertainment, learning, and love because we are alive. We need to do the things that matter because we are alive and stop living so much in survival mode. When were able to thrive, then we won't need men to produce great work in the world and have a presence. I mean, being a girl is still better than being a guy on a social level. No friends, no lover? That's a pretty average experience for most men. Yet, somehow the end of the world for women. Were all human, its better to accept that fact now than later.

[@CYBER_FunkER]

Very well put! I respect the thought you put into this 😊

[@nomenenimipsumloquitur]

I wanna be ur friend so bad 🙏🏻 u have such a good point about doing things because we're alive and not because we're going to die

[@Eze-j3p]

I don't understand your point are they unappealing to look at then they're ugly if they're just plain maybe average would be a more accurate term to use but yes I get the sentiment if your trying to say that most we deem as ugly or most that think they're ugly are just average

[@aiex3335]

Ty for saying that about men cause yeah its literally just lonely everyday but at least I'm not dead

[@Eze-j3p]

@@9darshana um this seems like a belief very unique to you the opposite fo love is hate and the opposite of attractive is unattractive(ugly) imo also we have eyes to judge if some thing looks bad its no different when it comes to people so we can't help what we find beautiful and its natural to subconsciously judge who is attractive as soon as you see them so you can't really diminish someone finding someone unattractive to "conditioning" when its human nature as I'm sure you've experienced

[@Shaannooonn]

Just watched a video on male loneliness and it made me realize that even at the most desperate level of loneliness men compared themselves with and looked for a solution in attractive girls… It’s like a girl who’s not attractive isn’t even considered in the conversation. Like they do not exist. It’s just men (any men) and pretty girls. It’s so bizarre.

[@Kyiromi]

yhea! i see a lot of "ugly loney men" seeing the comfort in attractive girls, never i seen a guy talking about "ugly" girls in a good light is always the "fat, woke, lesbian, feminist" (like that the words that i seen of a guy describing an "ugly" girl)

[@nessinay1535]

That's why I don't feel bad for them. They all go for the same girls and will NEVER try to settle when it comes to looks. They'd rather complain and be alone then date someone they consider unattractive.

[@Shaannooonn]

@@nessinay1535 It’s not even about dating. They don’t befriend “invisible” girls and don’t form any connections bc yeah… Whatever they say, their loneliness is about dating at the end of the day.

[@Ryanthebrobdingnagian]

As a man I've felt invisible or ostracized, but obviously I haven't ever experienced being invisible in this way. Thanks for creating the video and sharing this perspective. Much appreciated.

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

Sounds exactly what both average or ugly guys go through as well lol… Guys just seem used to it and more equipped to deal with this in my opinion, they’re pressured to deal with it themselves or they’re deemed losers. Guys are pressured to take action, they don’t have time to dwell in self hate. It’s a blessing but a curse.

[@handlebar4520]

as a man, I've definitely felt invisible before, many times. So much Now I've gotten used to living in isolation, maybe you're one of the lucky few who doesn't get glossed over by everyone else, but that's the experience for about 60% of guys growing up.

[@Ryanthebrobdingnagian]

@@handlebar4520 I said I've felt invisible or ostracized before. I'm sure most people have at one point or another. I've just never experienced it the way she described it. The "reasons" were different. I've never spoken with a man that described their experience like this either. If you're saying you have to experienced loneliness and invisibility in the same way as she has described, I think that's interesting. As an added addendum to this I'd like to say that when I declared my gender in my comment it was just for clarity. I don't speak for all men and I think it's weird when anyone does that.

[@handlebar4520]

@@Ryanthebrobdingnagian No I don't think I've experienced it in exactly the same way, everyone's experience of invisibility is going to be different, there are of course differences in the circumstances between guy's and girl's loneliness, but there are plenty of parallels and similarities, mostly because everyone is a lot more isolated and closed off today than ever before in post modern history. I would say a larger proportion of guys are invisible than women's are in the same population sizes, but I think guys circumstances are somewhat more internal and women's are more external/out of their control unfortunately.

[@Ryanthebrobdingnagian]

@@handlebar4520 I disagree we are more closed off. I can video call someone in the rice fields of Thailand from my couch in the U.S. I'm currently talking to you, someone I've never met, about our collective experiences. Feels pretty connected to me. Not sure why the portions matter. I like learning about other peoples experiences, especially if they are different from my own.

[@Tindre]

sure but when I was skinny and felt the worst I ever did inside people treated me so much nicer and saw me. So the fact is that your internal mindset can only do so much to combat the way the world treats you.

[@Shineynsparkles]

During your ugly phase your suppose to develop hobbies and character….and people watch Cause when you glow up you will be able to talk and converse with others regardless of class or social standing The issue is our parents didn’t teach us enough about this awkward stage is actually a blessing but helps you stay grounded and to love yourself

[@MimiMi-n7z7i]

Please make a video on how to stick to one fixed personality that is not easily affected and does not change its main goals. I am writing this with Google Translate. I hope the meaning is conveyed. You are wonderful.❤😊

[@BusinessTradingDay]

This is such a great video as usual. I'm so sorry you went through that experience. The self belief that comes from these experiences are very difficult to work on as it has become your reality and difficult to deconstruct. Also you are unable to accept compliments related to your appearance now or might fixate on it etc. To be honest one thing learnt from these experiences are you know who is not worth your time.

[@UrbanSoul30X0X0]

I recently experienced a younger woman that said to me that I was ugly and that she was sorry for the parents that made me. I did let her words hurt me at the time, but I know it's not true what she said her words are just words

[@ovn5058]

What the fuck? I'm so sorry about that😟 I'm glad you got over it but you still didn't deserve such an awful comment.

[@perkunie9764]

ngl I find it confusing with all the men in these comments saying that this is what the majority of guys have to deal with, I feel like there's more to it when a woman is considered ugly since there is more emphasis placed on her being beautiful, especially outside of the dating scene, are boys taught that they need to be conventionally attractive from a young age too? I can't think of such cases but that may be because I am not a man and I don't count the muscle standard since I don't think that it comes from the expectation to be beautiful but rather to be strong, which is important anyway so that your body retains more function as you age, except if you dehydrate to get the stereotypical six pack look (although I have only seen male celebrities bring this up) which is harmful but I don't see it being talked about unfortunately or it gets denied that it is a thing, by men. I also don't think that is comparable since women can benefit from working out to build muscle for the reason stated previously, and women still face backlash from it today for it being unfeminine. I guess with the rise of "lookmaxxing" and how young boys have unsupervised access to the internet (tiktok/insta) they are being told to be conventially attractive, although the worst of it seems to involve "bone smashing" which I expect that the older generation doesn't take it seriously (I'm pretty sure most of them dont) but idk how the younger gen sees it especially when they are still growing, at best of this trend I just see it promoting basic hygiene if anything?? I've not seen them promote plastic surgery nor makeup yet but then again I don't get those videos often thankfully.

[@badge5575]

They have promoted plastic surgery mainly leg lengthening surgery and jaw impacts also nose jobs for ethnic people

[@salvadorvega9834]

they are not taught they have to be attractive, they are told their worth is directly related to the value they provide. Most work and social settings are hierarchical and unattractive and insecure men will drift and settle towards the bottom. This makes it difficult (not impossible) for them to be providers.

[@TiktokBro154]

We are told that we have to be tall, rich and handsome. So please tell me how exactly do men have it easier again?

[@nessinay1535]

​@@TiktokBro154Two of those things can be attainable, and at the end of it, one actually is sustainable through all ages. So that's the one that matters the most. Jeff Bezos is 5'7 and currently has a girlfriend and had a wife and 3 kids. Mark Zuckerberg is also 5'7. What's the main factor here? Dani Devito is married and he's 5'3.

[@ashlynx8046]

i was always told you have to fake to you make it oh it’s just where you live it’s how you dress etc i’ve tried it all and i still get the same reactions. i’ve come to realize that yes i am ugly but i’ve accepted that so i do just focus on myself. the achievements i’ve reached are b/c i worked hard to achieve them. and i’m proud of them they weren’t tied to any self hatred or self loathing and that’s why i’m so proud of them. no matter what happens i will always have my achievements. and what i worked for so what if i’m ugly at least i’m smart

[@lionmom7629]

I'm sorry, but most of what you are calling "overcompensating" for so called "ugliness" sounds like just living a healthier, more well balanced life! Being hypersexual might be problematic (but only if it is detrimental to the person doing so, such as being unsafe, etc). Other that that (and that only in some cases) having hobbies, sports, being funny is called having a personality. Personally, I'd advise for anyone who thinks they are "ugly" to first realize that nope, that's not right. There is no minimum "beauty standard" anyone needs to meet to just be a valid human being, worthy of respect. And yes, stay away from so called "self improvement" and figure out what in life you enjoy. I think this video is in many ways, still pushing these outdated, shallow, unrealistic ideas. We all change. We all look different at different times in our life, even at different times of the same day, or the same week! This video is still far too consumed with a fictitious "objective reality" of "attractiveness." There isn't one. Certainly there is no "beauty standard" that decides whether a person is worthy of love or not! That whole concept is absolutely off base. Sorry, but it is.

[@salvadorvega9834]

there are definitely standards to attractiveness. It’s instinctual down to a primal level. People want to reproduce and will find certain traits attractive. That doesn’t mean that people who don’t reach them are undeserving of love.

[@lionmom7629]

​@@salvadorvega9834And its very individual. What one person finds unattractive someone else thinks is great. I've seen that too many times to not know its true.

[@salvadorvega9834]

@@lionmom7629 I agree, but look at the studies done on women and what kind of man they find attractive. I believe when they’re ovulating they preferred men who exhibited more masculine features as they are indicative of higher testosterone and could bring quality children. Off cycle and at the lowest risk of pregnancy, they preferred men with less masculine features. This is simple biology. To say it doesn’t play a role in defining objective beauty is false. I don’t have an argument but I think it’s good to keep these things in mind

[@lionmom7629]

@@salvadorvega9834 So one, its creepy and dehumanizing to think women are just ovaries and hormones, like we are not people at all. Do you understand both how wrong (scientifically) and how morally reprehensible what you just said really is? You are avoiding the obvious. Women are people. People deserve more respect than that. By disrespecting women, you make yourself radioactive to the opposite sex. That's your own doing. Avoiding owning up to your own bad ideas and wrong mindedness is what's keeping you isolated. Nobody wants to deal with some guy blaming "ovulation" for his own lack of basic social skills. Hint, not trying to reduce human beings to bodily functions is a very basic social skill. Not having social skills makes anyone less attractive, no matter what they look like.

[@lionmom7629]

@@salvadorvega9834 By reducing women to body parts and ovaries you make yourself radioactive to women. Its your dehumanizing and disrespectful excuses that are the heart of the problem. Do you even realize how everything you just said is both scientifically absolute bunk and morally wrong minded? You are avoiding the obvious. Treating other people like you know they are human beings, not collections of body parts, is the most basic social skill there is. And lack of basic social skills makes anyone less attractive, just as having better social skills than that increases anyone's attractiveness. Basically, you need to let that garbage psuedo science conspiracy stuff go and own up to the fact that you might be treating women disrespectfully, and that doing so might be chasing away women who might have been willing to give you a chance, if you had come off as someone with a normal, human amount of empathy and respect and kindness.

[@CA-vy8et]

As a kid I was bullied heavily for being the “weird,ugly girl” (when in reality I was autistic and we were poor and couldn’t afford nice clothes or anything “extra” like hair detangler, combs for thick hair like I had, face wash, etc so I looked like a mess). You know the mocking “my friend wants to date you!!” And their friend would be saying “ew gross!!” Yeah. In HS the first guy who gave me positive attention and asked me out I took happily, but it was awful and I think it broke a lot of my spirit. He would brag to me about girls wanting to brag to ME his Gf about girls who made moves on him! He compared me to a lot of these girls and frequently cheated on me. Blamed me because I was ugly and blah blah blah. Everytime I tried to dump him he would freak out and try to pull the “I’m going to harm myself” card. I thought he was the best I could do and it made me extremely depressed. I didn’t eat anymore and I lost a ton of weight. He was happy because he finally said I looked like “his type,” but I was sick all the time. I finally got the courage to dump him and right away dated someone else, who acted similar and told me he didn’t find me attractive, but I could still “be by his side for awhile.” I had a glow up after I dumped him (got my own job and could afford nice stuff) and the way I am treated is like night and day. Guys are always confessing to me their feelings. Girls always think I’m going to “steal their man” and despise me or give me nice compliments. I don’t have friends. I don’t trust people. I don’t even take the confessions seriously. Because in my head there’s still no way anybody could like me in *that way,* you might as well tell me you own a flying car. I’m blown away when someone says something nice about me to the point where I have to giddily share with my family the compliments I get. Nobody believes me when I tell them how I was bullied before. I’ve been in therapy since the age of 15 and I don’t think it’s helped me. I tried the KZbin “beauty hacks” gurus, the subliminals, manifesting, praying, everything. I never feel human.

[@helluvafan112]

As a person who had a glow down... I am ALMOST sure my crush stopped being interested in me because of this reason (but not only ofc). She is weak for better looking gals for sure. So, whatever you'd think, not everyone has to be hot, but some people lose almost everything when they don't have it anymore

[@Kyiromi]

I guess some men don't realize that yhea, society treats woman that "aren't pretty" like trash, the reddit post of the 26 year old got me bc yhea, it is truth, ppl think it's easy being confident but, how are you going to be confident if you don't feel desirable? (i guess for aroace ppl it might not be a big deal but for some people it is) I only been int terrible online dating (the one like trauma and pretty bad stuff) end up that now i'm really hypersexual and only think that men will want me if i spoil them with expensive stuff and sex all the time, otherwise he will leave me alone and trade me for a "pretty" girl, but still have severe paranoia that he might cheat on me even if i do that for him. Finally i still remember coming back from the drugstore smiling bc i bought a perfume that i really liked i passed torugh two boys and i heard them whispering that i was ugly, it broke me (if any misspells is bc english isn't my frist language)

[@Harley_Quinn9]

The algorithm is scary I was litterly breaking down crying over being exactly this and then this was recommended

[@jessica-ic2nl]

I’ve opened up one time to a friend over a call. I started venting about how I feel ugly, lonely, and left out. But instead of listening he was scrolling through twitter the whole time. And the way he said “huh” at the end made me realize that there’s a reason why i don’t vent anymore. Im avoided all hangouts now because it drains me so much. Its all shallow talk about drama.

[@siraha4837]

yeah self acceptance is very important, self improvement is a lie and a scam

[@ghostsinthesun]

both are important! self improvement isn't a complete cure but everyone can benefit from it

[@ddbajoingus]

Tbh i really dont see the difference between guys and girls in thus situation 😅 like i dont see how being a woman changes this from being a dude cause a bunch of dudes are like this so much to the point where it isnt even known to them cause its normal

[@Gusp5]

I like this though cause I don't want attention or anyone talking to me or being near me. I'm good being invisible lol 😂

[@user-mj6qr2ky9d]

You said u graduated med school? So are u already a doctor now and working in a hospital or what else?

[@oliviajayward]

I think it is your mindset mostly why people have a low self esteem. ALSO, being neurodivergent makes you feel like this as well especially when you struggle with social issues.

[@Nuna_heart]

Im a quiet girl, and i don't find myself ugly. actually very pretty.....it just people want something familiar too (like more sociable) these days they want to talk about celebrities and influencers and what other people do , meanwhile i want to talk about art , politics, religion.......and it just hard to find my type of people

[@pbdparkbiz602]

This video makes me both sad and happy. They are people so flawed? I must be a fool because i feel like i dont see very ugly men or women.

[@L.G.127]

Lately I watch too many videos like that and I think it's time to say myself that I'm beautiful and stop caring about it that much (soon I'll turn 21 and I have to pull myself together)

[@marmitch5056]

Christina great video. You are a radiant beautiful woman. Life is a constant grind and see how you have improved over time.

[@indrinita]

Wait, wait, I'm not denying this woman's life experience, but I cannot see how anyone could objectively consider her "ugly". She's exactly the opposite. However, I can believe that being the only Black girl in a very white habitus, that of course she was discriminated against constantly. But ugly she is definitely not.

[@k-universe1674]

This is so relatable. Thank you so much for making this❤

[@joshb7326]

Im a 33 yr guy. Ive never had a relationship even tho I tried for 20 years I always got rejected by women. Yes im pretty sure im too ugly for women. Pretty sure I will never find a relationship

[@eleonorecrassous725]

I really doubt it. Even "unattractive" men will find a partner eventually, the problem might be your social/seduction skills, or just your personnality. Not saying you have a bad personnality, but you might be a bit different, so not to everyone's taste

[@joshb7326]

@@eleonorecrassous725 Yes I partially agree with you however I also have a bad personality. I'm shy, introvert, boring and not funny. It basically means women stay well clear of me romantically and I don't have any qualities worthy of a relationship

[@reggiestockton8166]

​@@eleonorecrassous725 not true at all. Its all about looks and status. I got better looking and women chase me now. My personality never changed. I agree that people should work on themselves to attract the partner that they want, but we shouldn't get delusional. If a man is unattractive, women will not want to date him. Its as simple as that. Women always talking about personality when they know damn well they disqualify 80% of the men they see based on their appearance. Men are just as shallow but we just don't hide it 😂 hence the creation of this video

[@Nemesis-sc4rg]

No wonder women dont want you, you bring up false accusations when theyre literally harassed and risk their lives for telling no to a guy every day. You have no empathy

[@RandomAussieGuy87]

​@@reggiestockton8166🎯

[@katpat-rice]

i always take away so much from your videos. thank you

[@extrashotofespresso_]

Literally this has been my life experience. I honestly don’t know why I even exist. I just cope daily. The gag is I don’t even think I’m ugly. But I know for a fact I am not the social standards of beauty and I never will be. Fuck society

[@NoNo-xh7ru]

Just ugliness in general sadly. There are countless studies showing that being unattractive disadvantages you in nearly every possible way. You are less likely to get a job, paid less, more likely to be convicted, get longer sentences when convicted, more likely to be a victim of a violent crime, more likely to be impoverished and it just keeps going. It is horrifying.

[@Whatsnottogive145-ty8kz]

I have always felt socially isolated from other women. Even today I am scared to go into a hair salon because the 2 times I have I just get weird dirty looks and questionable rude remarks from the female staff. I never once thought I was ugly, I have had many very handsome men try to pursue me over the years. I honestly don’t think it matters if you’re “ugly” or “attractive” I think women are taught to be extremely competitive towards each other and maybe unconscionably judge each other based off of our insecurities brought on us from society. I have had and continue to work on myself because I catch myself judging very nice women simply based on their appearance. Sometimes I don’t even realize it, but I have treated women differently based on if I see them as a “threat” or not. It’s something I have been working on not doing and I pray that this envy will be eradicated from my soul because it’s based on complete lies. Our beauty as women is not on physical appearance but on what makes us wonderful beings. We are the care takers, bringers of life and incredibly selfless beings. It’s sucks that society tries to undermine how truly beautiful all women are.

[@mrgaudy1954]

As a younger guy I felt unattractive and felt it was just one of those biological disparities that I had to “do more” as a male to be seen as an attractive prospect. I eventually just “gave up” and focused on other things (education, career, fitness, income, being around people I actually liked, being comfortable enough to be myself) and one day I started bumbling into “interest” just by… not really trying and just being social. In retrospect I had so much scope for improvement but if I’d been a woman (given what most men look for) I feel like I’d have had a lot less opportunity given that appearance is the sole factor for a lot of men.

[@IlikepurpleXP]

Im 31 and I’ve only JUST taken the time to reflect how feeling ugly my whole life has shaped me. It’s weird because I often feel like the ugliest person in the room but then I’ll have people compliment my looks out of the blue, and because I’ve felt so ugly and invisible growing up I genuinely have no idea what I look like and almost use other people compliments as a “meter”. I know looks nor what other people think of me should ever define me, but it’s easier said than done with you’ve felt deprived of the same type of attention that seems so commonplace for everyone around you.

[@inawisha]

Same age, same situation -- I wish you all the luck with this! I wrote a whole elaboration but it's gonna take a bit for me to even digest let alone see typed out and shared

[@normansimms349]

Our society focuses way too much on physical outer appearance… that is such a cheap view of beauty… the real beauty is who a person is within… now that I’m older and more mature, I realize this and look for this in a person more… personality, authenticity, intelligence, mindset, heart>>>>>>>> outer beauty… if somebody doesn’t like u becuz of how u look without getting to know u, they don’t deserve u anyway… don’t let that bring u down, continue loving urself… Stop looking for validation outside of urself, God will help u find ur tribe.

[@egedikizler]

omg am ı too early?

[@omotayoa5889]

lol me too

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

early than me lmao

[@91pinklipstick]

There are good looking loners

[@yoboyraj9994]

Like me :D(I’m hideous)

[@nicolettegraffam-butcher3507]

this video made me realize so much about myself. thank you. truly. I've had so much problems in my friendships and relationships and I now realized it's because I've been scared. I was always the second choice as a kid, no boys ever noticed me, etc. I've done everything possible to make myself feel beautiful, dye my hair, starve my body, get into sports and over exercise, wear makeup, and change my clothes, and while I'm passable today (at least I think I am) there is still that insecurity. nobody talks about how debilitating that thought in the back of your mind is, but you did. thank you so much again.

[@shriekinambassador5042]

the beauty of being a dude. Friends dont judge you based on your attractiveness. Youre invited to any party. Yes you dont get dating success but no one cares about how you look to be friends with someone.

[@jon4254]

Yeah thats why i love being a guy, i dont think girls can ever be in a geniuene friendship

[@heyizz]

If your personality is actually good you're bound to find a relationship as a male. You can be kind, funny and smart as a woman and no one will care if you're ugly. I see ugly average men date women who are universally attractive all the time.

[@Eze-j3p]

​@@jon4254Ah yes thanks for generalizing half the population based on your experience with less than one percent of women🥰

[@jon4254]

@@Eze-j3p nah i also used the internet look cute girls post vs a ugly one

[@Eze-j3p]

@@jon4254 congrats on also using the internet to inform your opinion🤦🏾‍♀️

[@mandragonna]

I was the invisible person in every group for most of my life. People started noticing me when I started doing my own thing and not caring of anyone else. My mindset is “if nobody is going to show up for myself, I need to do it for me, because I am stuck with me” I moved to another country, I started posting more photos of me, I started to live for me. And out of nowhere people who forgot me, started to to message me and telling me “oh, you look so cute!”, “omg, you are so beautiful!” And all of those messages makes me feel nothing. I’m dead inside. The only joy I feel regarding positive words are from me because throughout all my life no one showed up for me. I kinda want to start believing again in other people, but is really hard. It baffles me because I reached a point in my life that I attempted self harm just to end it, but before that I asked for help to people I thought we were friends. No one answer. Deep down I want to believe someday I’ll find a true connection, but in the meantime I’m going to live for myself.

[@dukewells241]

I'm a guy, and I clicked on this video to try and understand women better.

[@pinkturtle2016]

Try talking to a real one instead

[@dukewells241]

@@pinkturtle2016 I'm in a committed relationship. I just wanna understand how my girlfriend felt when she was younger since she seems to agree with this video.

[@MoonlightAcid1]

As a guy who was ugly in school, I can say that i relate alot, although I feel ugly boys have easier time making friends than ugly girls because men care less about how other guys look

[@januszpolak254]

Friends for sure but if you don't have money it's over for you in case of dating.

[@badge5575]

Even though that is true you will get the least respect in the group

[@MoonlightAcid1]

@@badge5575 facts lmao

[@eddiesmith7867]

We care less because we're not as shallow and have other traits to make up for it. Whereas girls are more monolithic and average personality wise, with beauty being their only considerable difference between each other

[@sonalenx]

can i ask you, when exactly did you overcome all those negative thoughts? im in highschool and i feel like im so behind when it comes to loving yourself properly and stuff like that

[@PXWantonio]

Hi, I'm in college and I can tell you that a lot of people have insecurities/conflicts with themselves/self-steem problems, but they never tell them out loud (not even to their friends). I don't know why, but a lot of strangers that I talk with end up telling me their problems and I'm actually surprised of how many people that look like they are emotionaly stable are in reality insecure.

[@jaynotonyoutube1808]

I have some advice as a guy. Learn to forgive yourself, and live your life like nobody owns it. Also having a hobby is highly recommended, you may end up finding the community you wish you were always apart of.

[@BethyOsSpongebob]

24 and still working on it. Finally started to crack the surface. The key? Learn to take your time, even with this! Youre doing great and you started earlier than most. I promise the people that look like they have it together, dont.

[@sonalenx]

@@BethyOsSpongebob thank you for sharing this with me

[@sonalenx]

@@PXWantonio thank you for sharing your experience

[@pinkturtle2016]

Ill stay single lol, thank you very much

[@sampada7603]

Yes it is so relatable and no one talks about how you feel due to all of this. This affects every part of you. I am trying to boost my self esteem.

[@imnugget8085]

Well it may not be u most men now adays don't even date why cause money. Men dont feel like they have money wont date

[@drewpocernich2540]

This isn't just true about women.

[@obesecheeserat1738]

the hating yourself becoming a safe space is so real. when you've been hating yourself for so long, it's like you don't even know who you are outside of that pain.

[@xerilaun]

yeah i felt that 🥲

[@taedaya]

agree so hard

[@yikesdani123]

“hating yourself becomes your safe space” real

[@mr.mo_alsh]

Just be grateful the way god created you… and if you don’t believe in god then call it mother nature or the universe. Because there’s wisdom in the way you look. Maybe you don’t realise it and hate it but there is. Our minds just can’t comprehend everything. The world is bigger than ourselves. So be thankful ❤

[@hoked2194]

I'm sure Thalidomide babies agree with you.

[@mr.mo_alsh]

@@hoked2194 i don’t know what you believe in. But in my religion god created the people with defects and illness to raise their status in the afterlife and to grant them heaven so technically these people are lucky because they will get a free ticket to heaven. Like i said in the beginning, BE GRATEFUL, right now you’re not doing that you’re still finding reasons to complain.

[@jointhefun4]

​@@mr.mo_alsh what can I do if no man finds me attractive in this world I cry every day about this I wish I was born Arab,Asian,Latina or Caucasian but not black the pain is unbearable

[@mr.mo_alsh]

@@jointhefun4 have you met every single man in this world? No, so how do you know that no man finds you attractive? I guarantee you there are men in this world that do find you attractive but you just haven’t come across them. Also why are you bringing race into this? I am an Arab and i find black people very attractive and have good genetics especially when it comes to muscle building. There was no reason for you to bring up race… black people are beautiful you are not ugly because of your skin color.

[@jointhefun4]

@@mr.mo_alsh that was so kind of you thanks,it just hurts seeing girls of other races with long silky hair and fair skin I think I struggle with this alot everyday thanks for your advise though 🙏🙏👍

[@lionmom7629]

Okay, what is being said at the end of the video is more relevant. Yes, fixating on some so called "beauty standard" instead of actually living your life is a worthless endeavor. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, if it brings YOU satisfaction. But believing yourself to be "ugly" and writing a whole bunch of things in life off based on that perception is no better than banging your own head against a wall repeatedly and wondering why it hurts. Its the message society tries to sell us, that we are NEVER pretty enough. But its absolute horse manure. Supermodels get told they aren't pretty enough, either. Its utter $hit talk. Meaningless. Its way too easy to internalize, sure. Been there, did that. What woman hasn't? But yeah. Getting unstuck from that heap of absolute horse manure and living your life without giving that garbage power over you is a really, really important, worthwhile place to be. Glad to see this video got there by the end.

[@xoxoxoxo9966]

We need more content about this! This is often not talk about

[@kaymitten]

ughh i wanna gatekeep you so bad but so many things that you've spoken about are so important for people to hear... i love your content and your ideas like i definitely have to recommend your channel to my friends

[@Mahperi0]

I‘ve never felt so related to a video…

[@iknowyouvebeenwaiting]

Yeah literally I’m invisible. It’s hard to make friends that way

[@hana.s.ali93]

SO much of it is environment I've found. What people think is ugly in one

[@laudiculbertson5586]

Excellent, Christina!

[@markpaladiy5748]

Imagine we had no experience of any living world. Imagine we did not know what a dew-touched field of grass is. Or 'night', 'daytime', or 'morning'. No sunsets. No plants or animals. No 'starry nights' as seen from the grass of such a world. Instead, all we knew were things such 'hot balls of fire' seen from inside a Star Trek-like star ship. We would have all the 'synthesized' food we could want, but only by way of the toil and expertise of maintaining such 'glorious' technology. We would not have free air, free gravity, or free atmospheric pressure. We could not say, 'My darling, your eyes sparkle like dew in the morning'. And there would be no romance in likening our lover to a moon. We dare not let any of the ship's systems of life support go untended, lest we die, or, at least, deeply suffer until we got it working well again. Could we even be properly human? We would not know of clouds, rain, or peaceful sea coasts. Instead, we would be oppressed by mere bulkheads, and the ever-need to maintain energy shield generators against cosmic radiation. What a un-beautiful life it would be. If fact, for not having ever known of a living world, what hope could we feel? Too, if someone were to tell us of such a world, how could we believe him? It would just be too fantastical, and too strange. In actually knowing of such a world, we think we objectively imagine that a Star Trek-like space ship is rather glorious. But, in fact, in its own terms, it is a hunk of junk. So, now, imagine our ship has automatically taken us to the Earth, and lets us out onto it. I think we would be far, far more awestruck at that than we could ever be by suddenly having a USS Enterprise. And, we would be awestruck every moment of every day for the rest of our lives. I am inspired to write this because of this girl: kzbin.info/www/bejne/o4S9g4VobZeilbM

[@BleakNote]

I do feel bad for GENUINE ugly people. Some people are the kindest souls ever but just not lucky with genetics. Its gotta be hard. And thats not to say its not a salvagable situation, ugly people can improve their looks, or boost their confidence or learn to be funny to compensate. Basically building up their strengths as opposed to obsessing over their weaknesses. But still, i get it. I wasnt ugly but i was awkward and my younger brother was more attractive than me to women in my own age group so i felt like the ugly one by default. But truthfully, were both petty average looking dudes and he puts in way more self grooming routines into his life. So i know why NOW, but back then i thought i was just unwantable. And i was. Because i hadnt built up more about myself yet. I was friendly, but i didnt have anything going on, no sports, no consistent friend groups. I have and continue to have nothing to offer in terms of substance. Thats been my goal for my late 20's, learning what im all about and building up those parts of me. And eventually, maybe, someone will dig what im doing and MAYBE the feelings will be mutual! No real way to force it, you just gotta keep putting yourself out there and being social and EVENTUALLY, something will happen. Statisically it has to.

[@jaylicious4694]

Hating yourself becomes your safespace - yes! For some reason, it feels awful but comforting, it's messed up

[@micahthemod308]

Growing up as someone who thought they were ugly in school, I realized I was just hating myself based on what other people projected on me. People didn’t like that I was more masculine presenting, or that I was stimming a lot during class unknown to them that I’m autistic. But that doesn’t make my value as a person any less than them. Once I surrounded myself with other people like myself I found that I am not the ugly friend or ugly anything. Dating apps and The pandemic definitely did not help with trying to grow myself esteem or to be social. But as of now 2024 im doing new things, meeting new people to socialize with.

[@EarthQueen-1111]

I grew up being the “ugly girl”.. don’t worry. That’s stage won’t last forever beauty queens. Take care of yourselves ❤❤

[@CYBER_FunkER]

Low key, I think it would be cool if you made a discord server or something, a place where people who feel alone can meet people.

[@TadanoCandy]

I’m honestly happy being alone / single, so I have high standards for relationships. I will do anything to please my partners, but I will cut them off if they expect more of me than what they’re willing to give (= if they want to exploit my kindness), because they would be making me more miserable than if I were single. I recommend everyone to learn to be happy alone, not coping but genuinely enjoying their single life. I think there’d be less people being taken advantage of if there were fewer people who fear being single