A Divorce Attorney's Thoughts On Love and Marriage-James Sexton

[@crruan1142]

"If you can't talk about hard things you have no business getting married" Wise words to be married by.

[@hbennett5640]

So true!

[@deirdremorris9234]

Truth

[@dana102083]

I say that about ALL relationships..friends, boyfriends and absolutely marriage.

[@cjaxn9502]

Yes!! That part!

[@LSBUFU]

There's most definitely some underlying misogyny that influenced this conversation.

[@Airestotle09]

This guy was born to be attorney. The right amount of mental fortitude, grace and harsh truth in a human

[@ww3032]

It feels like he has been through a lot of shit to grow into what he is today.

[@fermentedfruit]

@@ww3032no shit sherlock

[@kalicperry6940]

Or maybe he's been an attorney for 20 years lmao

[@robt3407]

​@@kalicperry6940or he's been watching MGTOW and manosphere videos

[@kyoko703]

Facts!!!

[@tragickingdom69]

Strange times when a divorce lawyer is the best marriage counselor you've ever seen.

[@robnasty6835]

Seriously

[@Chowerman]

makes sense though as he's seen everything people shouldn't do

[@ypanso]

Best comment

[@HonestTherapist]

As a licensed therapist myself, I couldn’t agree more.

[@rosemaroon6407]

It is not strange at all. It’s honestly the most obvious thing. You only understand the concept of things when you have seen the worst. You then begin to understand the underlying fundamentals to get through it.

[@joshw1253]

I texted my fiancé to tell her I love her and I can’t wait to marry her while watching this video. She said it made her day. Take from this video whatever you want, wisdom is wisdom

[@kimlove3040]

Prenup or no prenup? Genuine question, at least knowing what you know for, this video.

[@mirandagaga9221]

Get a prenup!

[@klarissalj]

This isn’t the flex you think it is. You’re just announcing you learned nothing from someone whose career is damage control for people and couples like yall. But ignorance is bliss, for awhile at least. It’s ok to learn from people who have more life experience.

[@fragrantbloom]

@klarissalj what 😂 how did you come to this conclusion from that comment?

[@henriquebecker2713]

@@klarissalj A divorce laywer will only see the marriages that end in divorce, and none of the "forever happy marriages". There may be wisdom here, as well but surely there is also a LOT of bias.

[@leonardschneider2797]

"people will lie to their therapist but they won't lie to their divorce lawyer", one of like 40 gems in this video

[@GrubKiller436]

Depending on what it is, you can still get into serious trouble if you reveal certain things to your therapist. You hypothetically have more legal safety with your lawyer than your therapist.

[@brianstonesthrow2727]

@@GrubKiller436 Yes, you need to lie to your therapist until you know you can trust them. And that may be never. They will take what you say and report you and it could be groundless.

[@tonyale749]

My ex is still not honest to his lawyer, doubt he is honest to his therapist.

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

I'm making that my Facebook headline

[@Thrusthamster]

That's funny, the longer I work as a lawyer the more I get surprised how stupid people are with withholding essential information from me when all I do is try to help them

[@wot4me2]

I NEVER thought I'd listen to a divorce attorney for an hour, but Jim's societal insights are fascinating! Great interview, please have him back.

[@isacece1334]

Agree!

[@runningkirkwa2934]

Jim is a very smart, cool dude. My dad was a divorce lawyer for 30 years. Its a tough job

[@marianaruiz213]

Totally agree 😂❤

[@stacystoneberger9817]

I like this guy! He’s super real. Thanks Mark!

[@dov111]

Same here

[@TannerBraungardt]

Felt like every other sentence was worth writing down… incredible interview!!

[@BeEazy1992]

You're speaking the truth im on my 5Th playback

[@johnb6850]

Does every stock lose value if you hold it too long ? No

[@alexperez706]

lol, that's what you got from this?!?!? hahahahah....@@johnb6850

[@nathalieruiz3817]

Yes, so much so that I actually paused the video to get a pen and paper! Ha!

[@MrSuperultramegaguy]

​@johnb6850 yeah. Not every stock loses value if you hold it too long. And?

[@RyanLeeGalea]

James is the type of man whom you can talk about every subject and turns out interesting.

[@Scientist_Salarian]

Incredible conversation. We all just got $500-1000/hr. worth of advice for free. One of the best things you can do for marital health is listen to guys like this. It’s just as important to know how marriages turn bad as how they stay strong.

[@SlowMoMofo]

💯 You broke that down nicely 100%. Made me realize it that was as well thank you. This is truly a gem here..

[@oktaxi4503]

Well said bro. Priceless experience here

[@realjcoop182]

This was an hour consultation for free 🔥

[@glorias.2930]

Seriously! Where's the "Buy Me a Coffee" link? 😁

[@bigjuni2102]

Sadly its a price on everything

[@MsFitVegan]

The “I’m not happy why should you be happy” was powerful. The entire interview was phenomenal

[@lilyann168]

I literally watch this dynamic play out with my brother and his wife almost every time I visit. It's wild.

[@stella-vu8vh]

that's such a sad way to live and i don't understand why people act that way. my ex wife was that way and it made things so hard

[@-._.-KRiS-._.-]

@@stella-vu8vh Because there's no one else to talk to. In marriage, you're expected to bring all your vents and frustrations to your significant other but when you do, they take it personally even though you were just trying to work through your emotions to figure out where they were coming from and how to move past them. This is why he's spot on that no single other person can be the 'everything' to another. Sometimes, you just need to vent in order to figure out how you truly feel about something but if you only have the subject of the venting to vent to, too many negative emotions start to entangle into everything and it can become near impossible to disentangle.

[@miimonalisa]

@KetoFattywhat does that mean

[@ruthrose1000]

Not every woman is like tjis just so you know. I continued to do sweet things for him.. small gifts, notes, kindness.. as he did less and less. It broke my heart. It was not even about material things.. just sleep next to me or hold my hand, but no. He slept on the couch, would not hold my hand.. oh well

[@ModernMusic831]

“Falling feels like flying for a little while until you hit the ground” ONE OF THE RAWEST INTERVIEWS IVE SEEN

[@alisterfolson]

'Falling isn't bad. It's that sudden stop at the end." - Indiana Jones

[@NotSuperwoman]

No fr! I replayed that back like 4 more times😂

[@ibewcountry]

Rawfully true, I might add.

[@ibewcountry]

@@NotSuperwomannice username.

[@aj_himm]

frr

[@chrissullivan6572]

I could listen to him talk all day. He has a wealth of book smarts, street smarts, experience and a way with words.

[@FossKhan]

This divorce attorney needs his own KZbin channel or podcast, his personality had me glued to the screen, what a real dude

[@tootstoyou1]

Yep. Agreed. He was hypnotic to listen to!! And not hard on the eyes either 😂

[@greenIMONSTER008]

He has a IG acc But I can't remember the @

[@greenIMONSTER008]

Found it! It's @nycdivorcelawyer

[@mackpeter6591]

I thought so too. You can't make these things up

[@emilykozel5087]

He does

[@mikes1063]

“Falling feels like flying…until you hit the ground.” Fabulous quote!

[@deadbutworking]

"falling feels like flying until bones crush" ~ Taylor Swift

[@natest.the.greatest]

Have you seen Crazy Heart yet?

[@cici3505]

Not sure if I agree with that. Flying is against gravity and failing is the opposite

[@carolinereidartist]

100%

[@darkylinky288]

it's been quoted by other people and in songs before, he's not the original source

[@Scott-iw5ji]

This is the EXACT guy you want to be drinking whiskey with in a dark quiet bar. I could listen to his stories for days.

[@iu.5146]

But you would never have him as opposing council in your divorce 😂😂😂

[@marydecouvertes3789]

Paul Auster? 😏

[@dukedenile4871]

This is one of the best interviews I have even watched.

[@aimfuldrifter]

He would probably start talking sh*t after a couple shots. :P

[@JohnBoyed-fo6fm]

The valuable knowledge that he has will save a lot of men

[@Jasjasjas71]

Recently married at 20.. so incredibly insightful and i feel so lucky to have come across this video when i did. I could listen to you talk for hours and wish you had a podcast or a show! The things you said about social media in this video has really resonated with me given the fact that i am a young married woman, and because of the damage that social media could do in a relationship, we both have decided not to have those apps, and we have been together for 4 years. Nothing like comparison will really affect a perfectly fine relationship. 3 years social media free and till this day i believe everything you see is definitely just during their biggest hits. When you said it’s the little things, i’ve had about 6 things i could think of that my husband does for me consistently that i sometimes take for granted and don’t realize how important it has been for our relationship. Im so thankful for this interview and i truly hope to see more of you wether you start writing books or doing more interviews!

[@iamandreadaniela]

Give this man a show! His way of expressing himself is captivating.

[@ibrahimalharbi3358]

Why white rich men are so ignorant about other people culture and religion? In Saudi, we have high increase divorce last ten years! In Islam we don't have this nonsense about marriage like Catholic marriage or Alimony!

[@Hardawayfits]

Foreal he is entertaining 😅 He said I'll f*** that guy for 200 million dollars 😂

[@IARRCSim]

yeah. He's hilarious.

[@dougb4956]

Yes, he is. But most intelligent, educated, successful and thoughtful people are similar in my experience.

[@FrankskinOrweed-ep4ij]

@dougb4956 Those 4 qualities are very different though&often mutually exclusive tbh. Educated and successful do not even sit in the same category as intelligence, which largely refers to emotional and social intelligence, which is often ironically lacking amongst those in highest levels of education or ‘success’. Success through money doesn’t lead to buying class, personality emotional intelligence or what i would consider the true things that make u rich- loved ones who care about u and good health! Just my random thoughts

[@Leila-ie3ms]

“I don’t think I can learn everything about myself from myself”perfect!

[@londondaze]

That was it. For me it was the best line in the whole thing, too.

[@nightfighter7452]

I can

Big if true!

[@letsgetdoing]

When did you and yourself learn you like cum shakes. Shaken. Not stirred.

[@LarryWilliamsArtist]

I actually think it's the exact opposite.

[@LuxeMindsetVibes]

“I don’t envy people being married for a long time because that’s not the goal. The goal is to be HAPPILY married.” So true. I wasn’t expecting to listen for an entire hour but he is charismatic, informative, and honest ❤

[@getmoneychill6462]

To me it’s no way in hell any man who’s married is happy.Having sex with the same woman year after year is atrocious.

[@loridean.5986]

@@getmoneychill6462 and the same for goes for her having the same man, such is life…

[@kaylasheppard7746]

​@getmoneychill6462 I'm sorry you feel that way. You're probably trolling, but hopefully you find true love someday.

[@srm0520]

I completely agree. Whenever people just blindly applaud couples who have been married forever, I kinda don’t get it. They could be in a horrible relationship. It’s really not the quantity of years but the quality

[@amalksuresh286]

​@@srm0520but isn't Married like a wave of happiness and sad,just like any other things in life.

[@benf340]

Not sure if there has ever been an hour of youtube where I’ve been so attuned to every word the person was saying, very fascinating and valuable insight.

[@vedranromac1046]

I don't know when was the last time I saw such a vibrant and energetic combination of teaching, consulting, coaching and stand-up comedy. Thanks Mark for this one. This man got me back on my feet after so many sex offenders and victims, addicts, prostitutes and all the other poor and broken people I met through your videos. A necessary counterbalance. Excellent!

[@Tammy-jl2io]

This descriptive is ON POINT! Excellent!

[@froufou100]

That's exactly what I waa thinking!

[@zeezeezee3110]

I had to click right away when i saw how different the one getting interviewed in the video. such a fresh story, something different but still hits home

[@sweetteagrits3822]

Agreed!! I was going down the dark rabbit hole too much!

[@vedranromac1046]

@@TheRoseAnthology I agree completely. Most of Mark's videos are like training for empathy with the working title "Faith - saddle on the horse of life between good and evil". This video is like a bottle of cold clear water handed to you by a nice waiter while saying "Brain!...come on!...turn your head on!"

[@lrbiloski]

As a fellow divorce attorney, his statements are 100% accurate! Loved listening to him.

[@KD400_]

Then u know y most men r walking away from marriage

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@KD400_ Women are walking away from marriage, also. Whether guy or girl, treat them well or they will find someone who will.

[@KD400_]

@@FreeSpirit47 judging by ur profile picture I'm sure u had tons of offers but u chose to walk away. It's not positive btw.

[@Dewane1511]

@@FreeSpirit47 WHY is it always tit for tat wit women

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@Dewane1511 Nothing is always anything. Tit for tat is an aspect of life. Cause & effect. Light & dark. It's a balance present all through life.

[@cherryhazard8002]

"I wanna see how it looked like when these people loved each other." Genuinely made me tear up, what a beautiful sentiment.

[@aceshigh5157]

i wonder how many people actually loved each other, or got married for other reasons like societal expectations (have to be married by x age, otherwise people will think i'm x,y,z so i'll just settle down with this person) or finances (if we get married we'll pay less taxes). or how many marriages are actually deeply connected.. most people aren't deep, most people haven't done the internal work to be able to actually connect with their spouse or even themselves.

[@kimmyp3407]

😅 0:41 😅😅 0:41 😅😅😅 1:06

[@GrubKiller436]

Their toxic side isn't revealed yet in the honeymoon stage.

[@civilarms247]

Dude is just engrained with a wealth of knowledge, philosophy around his craft, and seems like genuine guy. Just binged both his interviews with SWUB and there wasn’t a sentence I didn’t find interesting. Need more people like this 👍

[@TahoeSnowbird]

If you find your soulmate and true love, marriage is Heaven on Earth. My husband and I were blessed with that kind of love for 52 years (married for 51 years 4 months and 21 days,) He's in Heaven now, waiting for me. I miss him beyond measure.

[@meredithcoleman446]

This is so precious

[@jessebaseal6577]

I'm really sorry for the loss ❤️

[@TOMMY-WANT-WINGY]

Wow. It's does exist. Is it possible to find it before divorce?

[@tproudboomer5965]

@@TOMMY-WANT-WINGY😂😂😂

[@TahoeSnowbird]

@@jessebaseal6577 Thank you. Whenever I am depressed about being without him, I have to remind myself I was very blessed to have shared his life and love for all those years, and we'll be together again.

[@constantineandreu9377]

THIS SHOULD BE MANDATORY VIEWING FOR EVERY ENGAGED COUPLE ON THE PLANET🙏

[@jenwhite6305]

I definitely watched it and engaged.

[@constantineandreu9377]

@@jenwhite6305 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂....my bad! "EVERY"👍

[@xanperia]

This should be mandatory to everybody. I'm single and watching this proved what I already thought - marriage is not for me

[@constantineandreu9377]

@@xanperia I wasn't agreeing with everything he had said.....and I believe in marriage💕

[@JT-cf5ol]

many churches just help to feed the divorce industry. Preach Jesus but give them the whole story. How to live your best life as a married couple but the reality of church people getting divorced is still an issue. Then, when you're going through the divorce industry meat grinder, the church is often nowhere to be found

[@nidakhan3290]

“I would love to see what it looked like when these people loved each other” such a heart-trending quote

[@dominiquemcclaney128]

When he said that I just automatically knew it was the complete opposite going on. It's like they hate each other now. But it's good that even as a divorce attorney he knows that they did love each other at some point.

[@bongamnguni3982]

He did say that he believes in love, so It makes sense for him to say that.@@dominiquemcclaney128

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

​@@dominiquemcclaney128they were in love... maybe not loved each other

[@chitlinjuice]

​​@@dominiquemcclaney128I'll be the unpopular opinion here and say they never loved each other. They just loved what each other did at one point and got tired of it. True love doesn't dissolve like that. It was mostly lust and a shallow version of happiness that most couples experience.

[@taylorspastpresent1014]

@@chitlinjuiceI agree. When he said you didn’t sleep with your husband for 6 years. What did you think would happen. There was no conversation over Six years at all about why sex wasn’t occurring. That’s insane. Was she sick, was their sexual assault trauma? Was he a jerk to her emotionally? Was she cheating? Like what in the world. Marriage is complex and not the source of our happiness. Jesus is.

[@pastethat]

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, but I feel like I now have a much better understanding of both human and spousal relationships after listening to a divorce lawyer. Thank you very much, James!!

[@1565kat]

"Tiptoeing through life so you can arrive safely at death." - brilliant!!! Love this guy!!

[@sstrick500]

I turned 50 recently, and I've been thinking the same thing!! My whole life was "safe"...and now I'm closer to death (natural/statistically) I'm thinking..."WHAT THE HELL.....GO OUT GO NUTS!"

[@THESILVERNARUTO]

Guilty a bit

[@megausten7189]

Tired

[@captemp]

Read this quote in the book You Are a Badass. By far my favorite quote of all time.

[@alialba8189]

All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don't tiptoe. Shane Claiborne. I don't know that guy, but I love this quote. Heard it about 20 years ago.

[@amandaslay6045]

I’m so glad he brought up social media. People don’t realize how “dangerous” it can be for relationships. He explained it perfectly, it’s an entry point

[@beatewagner7.2934]

True! But here he has forgotten to mention the influence of digital p***ography / OF / IG / Dating apps for casual pleasure plus the whole issue of addiction. It's brutally devastating for relationships and society... I guess finding "old friends" on Facebook is here the smallest part.

[@TheSpringMood]

It's a good idea for married couples to share a joint account instead of having separate accounts on social media.

[@kekkic]

totally agree, social media is a temptation. @@TheSpringMood

[@beatewagner7.2934]

@@TheSpringMood What kind of foundation of trust is this for a relationship? 🤔

[@TheSpringMood]

@@beatewagner7.2934 Nice question. I believe trust is vital in marriage but a healthy married couple should have many of the same friends and share experiences together therefore separate accounts aren't needed unless you have something to hide.

[@invisigoat]

This man cut through all of our societal presuppositions and traditions like a hot knife. Extremely insightful.

[@lookoutforchris]

Our traditions were demolished a long time ago. He’s commenting on the rubble. Marriage is a religious institution older than human history. Maybe if non-believers stopped highjacking a religion they’re not part of it would stop blowing up in their faces.

[@AlahuSnackbar]

@@lookoutforchris Our legal system doesn't reflect what marriage is from a traditional or religious standpoint.

[@KINGAMIIAMKING]

​@@lookoutforchris Marriage is a government institution and wealth extraction.

[@evacope1718]

​@@KINGAMIIAMKINGtoday it is but the heart of marriage is god, that's why you get married in a church or a synagogue/mosque etc. People took God out of the equation which makes their vows easier to break.

[@cadenhnc]

@@KINGAMIIAMKING That doesn't disprove what he said

[@LilyOlivia-p3s]

Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.

[@Adakataba]

Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.

[@LilyOlivia-p3s]

It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?

[@Adakataba]

Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.

[@Adakataba]

He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.

[@LilyOlivia-p3s]

I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤

[@MelanieGraceTV]

This is one of the best episodes produced! Highly insightful from many perspectives. The irony of it is that he gave the literal solutions for a successful marriage: 1) Don't compare. 2) Don't be selfish. 3) Feed the marriage. 4) Keep holding hands 5) Become the best version of yourself. A successful marriage isn't winning the lottery. It's a mutual willingness to do the work necessary to create happiness.

[@carlabeavers5837]

YES

[@Streamcatcher]

Yes! I totally agree! This was thr best episode for me so far. This man is just so incredibly on the ball. Amazing stuff, and what you say is true about the points to a successful marriage 💑

[@Borat_Kazakh]

Most of all historically marriage is covenant to raise children. Or heirs to the farm, cattle, patch of land. It was never intended for mutual Happiness.

[@veronicavargas6895]

I believe he could write a fantastic book about this subject

[@mckay7355]

And get a prenup

[@Keralite29]

_"Being married is great sometimes, the problem is you're married all the time."_ Great quote. Great interview. So many nuggets of insight. So many relevant analogies on-hand for the scenarios he was discussing. That quote is one of several that I could have listed here.

[@cyano741]

People make the mistake of going for attraction instead of compatibility. Morals/values/, integrity, politics, kids, marriage, sex, careers, finances, religion, world view, temperament, communication, household, past trauma, personality traits etc. They have to be compatible. Liking each other simply is not enough. Laying it all out on the table. Will it always be 100% perfect? No. But life is a struggle, the rest is teamwork. You better stick with someone who compliments your assets and weak spots. You will come to find, life is much nicer when you have someone by your side who has your best interest at heart.

[@musashi542]

thats a good thing for me

[@GGCandle]

This comment is also great sometimes.

[@sssuperstacy]

There were 4 -6 quotes i wanted to jot down... alas

[@fermentedfruit]

@@cyano741religion is something that shouldn’t make you get married. it’s all a lie

[@lordmow7572]

Crazy that this interview is free tbh. This is pure gold

[@IARRCSim]

yeah. People might pay his hourly rate as a lawyer just to hear him do standup comedy or do a TED-style talk one on one in his office.

[@AyeBeeG]

Stop watching cable/tik tok

[@aprilterrellcreates]

Yup

[@GamingAndChill]

Every interview is free lol

[@ronmass969]

You’re the person that fucks it up for all of us

[@noahmook5814]

It’s very refreshing to hear someone to be so candid, I found this very interesting.

[@AbsoluteMotivation]

This was so incredibly insightful.

[@heatman856]

It's crazy first thing I posted was how insightful this was

[@AliBhai-sl8gc]

Hope you guys are well. For a divorce lawyer he is somewhat ignorant. Religious ppl have less divorce and in islam its there, but lower. Hes wrong. women can seek a divorce in islam. And you are not killed for divorce. Go look at the Quran there is an entire chapter call Al-Nisa (women). Divorce is explained in the Quran. The wife is not allowed to take half the mans wealth and cannot stop him from seeing the kids (if he is not a danger/violent etc). Only in Christian Catholic system is marriage for life and no divorce (irony right). Islam is the fastest growing religion in the USA, UK, Canada, Europe and the whole world. So muslim ppl must be getting married and having kids, as sleeping around is a major sin (just like in the bible, remember). UK alone sees every year 5000 ppl revert to islam. Of those 5000 about 3000 are women, mostly white women, who are university educated with an average age of 27. When they come to the dheen (religion) Conservative values follow. And they look to get married and have kids. As muslim women marry Muslim men only. This way we gain an excess demographic of young women.

[@aarondavid5866]

so the prenup has to literally say everything we acquire personally during the marriage belongs to use individually?

[@jtjones4081]

Love is mystical marriage is contractual. The most likely ship to sink is a partnership. I agree that facts sound so cynical.

[@robertrudick2492]

Where does he practice Law?

[@SeemaRamkissoon]

"the skill set for a father is completely different to the skill set of a husband" this man nailed it

[@carlcampbell6827]

In my opinion, America has produced and is in the process of producing abject losers as fathers.

[@juless7807]

I disagree. Doing the right thing even when it's hard or not what you want to do, putting in time and effort to show love, consideration for how your choices affect those you love, prioritizing their happiness and safety, not holding onto resentment... The skill set is the same. It's just effected very differently.

[@TheAdderalDiaries]

@@juless7807​​⁠As a man I don’t think you are talking about the same thing that he was implying in his male brain. If I am correct; because I agree 100% with his comment and what it means to me is that as a father who is a a full time single dad of a son I got custody of 5 years ago. (Me and his mom dated in college, split when he was 6mo old). I got him every other weekend. He is my 1 true love. Business owner who worked 100 hours per week even while I had custody, but covid came and destroyed that business and so I created a different business. These small things are important to the context, and I’m getting to it. When I got custody of him, I completely stopped dating. And the reason I stopped dating is a woman takes so much time, money and effort. And that’s not a bad thing, if you love her you love her. But as a father, my priority is my child, above everything else. Above a woman, and even myself. But as a man, it’s important to be happy with yourself and your accomplishments before you invest in a wife. If you do not, it’s going to fail. Because no man will ever be secure enough, to ge happy enough, and trust enough. Regardless of what you look like. Men are not women. To men, our looks mean absolutely nothing. We play very different games in life, and most girls don’t realize it, and many feminist would love to deny it. But it’s true. A man’s value is in his status and resources, and woman’s is in her looks. It’s been this way since the dawn of mankind. All the proof you need is to look up who owns the most yachts, and it’s men. Yet, you see far more women on yachts on social Media, why is that? You never see the men. The reason is, these types of girls don’t want to show the man. Because everyone knows that’s not her yacht, and everyone knows what she’s had to do to be on that yacht popping $500 bottles. And it was being born beautiful. That’s it. She probably doesn’t even have a job. Because men do not give a shit about a woman’s wealth or status, we only care about her looks it’s the opposite for woman. This is why is said a man must be secure in himself and happy with where he is in life regardless of how good looking He is. His looks will Get him laid, but his status is what will make him secure and happy to be able to be a good husband emotionally later. But we already have the skill set to be a father, it’s a genetic thing all fathers that are “good dads” have for their kids. We are willing to put everything in our lives on old in order to provide them the best life and get them raised and we will worry about our Dating life and marriage later. I realize this is not the norm, and that’s the problem. Most men are miserable and most men will never be where they want to be because of these choices and wasting time with women. So it takes a emotionally skill set to be able to work 100 hours per week, still show up for your kids school activities and raise them. There is no room for the skill set it takes to be a good husband at this point. A new study realized show that single father households do just as good as two parents households and single women households have nightmare statistics attached to them. It’s because men and women are very different, and we are good at different things. Single moms who although may be raising their kids, maybe 1% of them would stop dating to focus solely on their kids and they end up just sleeping with tons of men chasing happiness they will never find. Because men and women value different things. Men are going to sleep with her. But men don’t want the single mom who has 3 kids and 2 baby daddies. Women make very poor choices in this part of life because women are creatures of emotion and men are creatures of logic and ambition. And the ambitious women are feminist all trying to compete with men, when men don’t even think of things like this and we damn sure don’t want to have a marriage with those women. So men and women are very different in how we think and the truth about our lives being very different can always come down to the yacht. A hot woman can be on a yacht anytime by spreading her legs, but a man has to buy that yacht to be on it. So because of this, it’s easy for us to use our skills as being a father vs our skills at being a husband. We can’t do both until we are happy with ourselves.

[@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq.]

In a sane society, the being a husband essentially _IS_ being a father. You protect, provide for, and preside over a woman like her father did and she accepts your patriarchy. The only real differences are intimacy and parenting. Why do you think girls who have great relationships with their fathers get guys like their fathers? Why do you think girls who had bad relationships and are starved for the imposition of wise authority mean _"DADDY!"_ during shrekx? The problem is that we've been taught to treat them like equal partners when we never evolved to be that liberal democratic fantasy.

[@juless7807]

@@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. Sorry, you don't own your wife. Those women were not protected, they were slaves. They were (and in many ways/places still are) expected to be an on-demand s3x toy, cook, maid, sole caregiver, waitress, hostess, and PR rep. And, if they didn't, they were beaten, stoned, killed, etc. If they didn't do it with a smile on their faces, they were told there's something wrong with them, and then probably beaten. They did not accept patriarchy- they had no choice. You can't choose something you are not given a choice in. GTFO

[@DJ33970]

I'm 25 minutes into this interview and I would already rank this as your #1 interview so far. Please have this man back for more videos!

[@ammievdm8190]

Agreed. Video of the year!! (Every year)😅

[@ubuntu6929]

I agree. its one thing to be interesting, its another to be able to talk about something not tied to you, yet is so universal and directly affects so many people! married and unmarried. and to talk about it objectively and critically is extremely powerful. this one interview is an insight to millions of marriages! Marriage as a state entity and marriage as a partnership are 2 different things completely! we should understand this before we even consider getting married!

[@thesilverladylifts2708]

Agreed!

[@venusignacio2978]

This is the kind of a person I wanna be around with. So much wisdom he can share, my go to person if he is my friend.

[@lwgray3]

The best marriage advice I have ever gotten was “seek first to understand, then be understood” It’s not easy. We are so caught up in the way we feel all the time, but this will get you through a lot.

[@fastlane1132]

100%

[@Hana-su7zg]

St Francis of Assissi

[@onyxstone4618]

Your marriage will end in divorce.

[@Alphacentauri819]

First understand yourself, understand your needs, your boundaries, understand how to discern red flags, understand how to communicate clearly, calmly, and directly. Understand your biases, your core wounds, your cognitive distortions, your maladaptive patterns. Understand your attachment style. Self understanding is paramount to being able to connect to and understand another human. We cannot seek to understand anyone, when we haven't cleared out our own stuff. Then, yes, seek to understand...before demanding someone understand you. However, if it's not reciprocal, know that it won't work.

[@francoisnel5253]

Yeah, for the man to try and understand and apologize and admit he is wrong while women are never wrong as they are too used to being told everything they do is empowering even when using men for selfish means.

[@rich_mc]

I can't begin to express how much I wish I'd seen this 20 years ago. It should be required watching for everyone in today's society.

[@jesperburns]

Are there some insights coming then? Because 12 minutes in and his demeanour is getting on my nerves.

[@brennenbisme]

@@jesperburnsHe’s being real. His demeanor presents 0 fakeness. Probably why it gets on your nerves. No catering.

[@jesperburns]

@@brennenbisme his information is real but there's very few people alive faker than him

[@art8kitty482]

What have you learned from it? That men think with their di** till late retirement age?

[@Chris_Picklepants]

Isn't that always the story? Listen up young men.

[@dammithoppie1]

My mother was married and divorced four times before I was 25. I saw what it does to people up close and personal. Before I got married I sat down with future spouse and created a prenup, and 10.5 years later when we decided to call it quits we sat down and split everything just like Jim said, yours, mine and ours. We never fought over anything and 23 years later we're still friends. I 100% agree with Jim's take on marriage. Another outstanding interview Mark!!

[@tara34952]

This is a fine example of how it should be done. You have my respect.

[@jamesc2545]

4 times in 7 years… dang man mom was a mess

[@daniellebailey6802]

Same. I still haven't been married. Lol

[@malik_alharb]

Do you regret the marriage

[@wavybebes6979]

@@RetireandGoyou need to think about what it’ll be like for a kid to grow up with older parent(s)

[@darfel1]

I have to watch this interview multiple times. SO MANY gems in this interview to digest and reflect on!

[@arandompasserby7940]

"We are prehistoric creatures living in medieval institutions with God-like technology" Damn, that one floored me. One of the best SWU interviews by far

[@stephaniehayesbusiness]

I agree. Paraphrased or original, the thinking is solid.

[@Skyecaster101]

That is the best description for us that I've ever heard.

[@mckenziejoseph3505]

Profound. Have to remember that.

[@house0paine535]

@@stephaniehayesbusinessIt is a paraphrased from a quote by Edward O. Wilson, “the problem of humanity is the following: We have Paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions and godlike technology.”

[@dysmissme7343]

Damn

[@johncitizen8828]

Wise man. Dropping knowledge in every sentence. This should be mandatory viewing for anyone considering getting married.

[@msfilahnee1968]

That's what I said & posted the video link on FB!

[@lydiapetra1211]

I agree with both of you! Sadly we live in a throw away society.... selfishness, lust, greed...addictions, godlessness.... destroy relationships and marriages...

[@DX-d]

He isn’t wise one bit. He has no knowledge about relationships. He’s divorced himself and makes excuses for cheating blaming the partner, wants to have sex with women without having any obligations towards them. His outlook on why marriages fall apart are immature.

[@rileykennedy4273]

Me and my fiancé have been taking pre martial counseling just finished our second session today and got home and watched this 😂

[@frankclements1431]

I know a young man that must watch this. I hope I get him to look at it.

[@cynthiatorres4320]

"I don't think I can learn everything about myself from myself, I need someone who can see my blind spots" ❤ I love that!

[@subspacescout9951]

I concur.

[@SuperJJParker]

I read this comment the exact moment he said it.

[@irmamartinez2483]

He was so great! Gave me some good advice on how to improve and make my marriage “right”. He’s absolutely right marriage is hard, but sometimes if you can work through the hard times, the payoff of the happiness and joy of staying married to the best person to party with it’s so so worth it! He’s worth it!

[@hokees]

Every person on earth needs to watch this interview. Gather in groups. Play it on planes. Show it in theaters. This. Is. Gold.

[@999dayslater]

guy seems like a total jerkoff

[@kipsmithers8816]

Well said

[@Chrisjonpage]

This really should be playing in theaters

[@laptop2638]

I agree, I will make sure my 21 yr old son watches this too. I can remember "my thing" , she never had a thing, she said she always knew we would divorce...

[@BlackSlacksGarage]

agree

[@andreasdiamantopoulos2104]

Wow,this guy speaks for about an hour and he is not boring at all

[@wiedadewi8575]

He's a lawyer, remember? 😊

[@mouved1]

​@@wiedadewi8575 I heard a lawyer talk for 5 min, 5 minute of boring bs make me want to sleep

[@PrettyandThings]

This guy deserves his own podcast, talk show, or KZbin channel. He is infinitely charismatic and entertaining. Most of these interviews are so depressing. It's nice to watch one with a guest who is smart, insightful, interesting, informative and funny as hell. Love this one!

[@eugenealymov2723]

I agree, more of this is needed. Alcoholics and fentanyl addicts aren't very interesting, on average.

[@yanicyoda4762]

hell Yeah.a lot more of these types

[@jeffcherry1643]

@@eugenealymov2723 True. Would have liked to have heard this 36 years ago ! He has a very realistic take on life and marriage

[@atlntcostv7293]

He sounds like a fake ass mayor carcetti from the wire

[@fyingfish9370]

He is famous actually! He has been invited by a lot of tv talkshows, podcasts etc. Yea but none of his own show

[@mostradam]

I watch all your videos: watching this rt now in the middle of a breakup. This is the most compelling interviews you’ve done. Ty 😊

[@billdavis6900]

To me this was by far the best SWU interview I've seen. This guy is incredibly wise. It also reminds me how rare my parents were. My parents first met when they were 12 years old, started dating when they were 14, got legally married when they were 16, & stayed married until my Mom died at the age of 82 (3 years ago). My dad was so devastated and lost when my Mom died, he only lived another 7 months.

[@skinnypete3104]

This was so pure it made me tear up

[@billdavis6900]

@@skinnypete3104 Thanks for your reply.

[@Liliana-of7ji]

So wholesome. now im crying

[@Somerandomtileguy]

That is a beautiful story, your parents were very lucky

[@aceshigh5157]

same thing happened with my grandparents - grandpa died less than a year after grandma's passing, even though he was much healthier than her. but in their case it was codependence, not healthy love.

[@seomil8622]

So sharp, intelligent, and witty. This guy is a dot connector, and a damn good story teller.

[@ChristiColonel]

He ain't gonna be unemployed...ever.

[@jhy25]

I know a lot of us, sometimes myself included, think that attorneys are scumbags but this guy is spot on! He should be a marriage counselor as well.

[@dominiquemcclaney128]

True especially the end.

[@Blueblackngold]

They’re predatory scumbags the lot of them

[@dontbearichard72]

He should be a youth counselor.

[@zenden6564]

In presales...

[@anandadaquino3604]

at the end I was: "I still wanna play in the lottery" hahahaha

[@darlenedunn5693]

This lawyer was amazing. His view points so realistic and in this decade ... Honesty is admirable

[@terriballinger7377]

Love this guy! A divorce lawyer who is a romantic at heart after seeing the worst of people.

[@vanillapearl9986]

Well said!

[@jsanabria]

Love this description. Sounds like a good idea for a tv series.

[@vanillapearl9986]

@@jsanabria yes! I really enjoyed this interview, so many great points he made! Very well done 👍🏻

[@takion732]

This guy needs his own show! Extremely entertaining and insightful.

[@nkosinathisitholejobe551]

Dude

[@Tongwane]

Facts

[@AlquimistaD]

He wrote a book actually lol

[@clively6229]

This man needs to 1000% write literature on marriage. He is so brutally honest and open. Got me sitting here single feeling lucky lol

[@josiahmcclanahan]

I believe he's written a couple books! The descriptions mentions some of his work :)

[@itskeagan3004]

Lucky? That’s dark. I’m sorry you haven’t found someone to share in the amazing milestones and challenges throughout life.

[@jasoncrandall73]

Like this man said 76% of marriages will end before the actual end (of life).

[@jelly.212]

@@itskeagan3004 haha lol 😂 lmao 🤣 even

[@JohnBoyed-fo6fm]

His knowledge will save a lot of men from horrible wom3nn

[@ejimahattah8079]

I think this video needs to be added to every pre marriage counseling session. Best marriage advice ever!

[@tammyburns6467]

Except he didn’t mention the most important thing. The government doesn’t uphold the marriage contract.

[@ayeshak6822]

Everything was going fine until they said divorce wasn't allowed in Muslim countries. That's false. Divorce is absolutely allowed in Islam.

[@cagreninger]

This video is completely void of any value system…destined to fail

[@lindan8729]

Why?

[@sharonjbe6496]

Too bad about the tatoos . . .

[@pegrathwol]

"Whoever came up with the word Soulmate, we divorce lawyers should be paying that person dividends." Pure Gold!!!

[@ClarisNdoroRealEstate]

Some people do find Soul mates but it 1percent.

[@remoevans7847]

@@ClarisNdoroRealEstateWrong. Given the total number of people in the world, the chances your soulmate happens to live in the same city or work at the same company are zero. It’s a nonsensical term invented for romance novels and movies.

[@lillianjaimez7294]

Off topic ... he resembles Robert Dinero.

[@brek5]

Yes, 100%. And later, he expands on that point a little bit, and it totally is that idea that one person is going to be EVERYTHING for you. It's ridiculous. I am married to a woman from a more "traditional" culture, let's say, and the most remarkable difference is the expectations. I'm not expected to want to go dress up in pink and watch the Barbie movie, and she's not expected to be interested in my sports. We're allowed to be our own people, unapologetically.

[@imechko_familia]

I believe soulmates are made, not born. I know my best friend for 14 years, good times and troubles, we share the exact same brain at this point. That's what I call a soulmate.

[@spookysea-monster5297]

This video should be played to every teenager as they leave high school and be used as pre-marriage classes. Absolutely the most valuable video on all of KZbin.

[@kota9087]

I was thinkin the same thing

[@mo_bra3340]

@LemonadeLiberal Yes! They should be weary about marriage just like the straight community! ;-D

[@mo_bra3340]

Agreed! I also think a pre-nup should be a standard part of obtaining a marriage license... or any other legal form process that needs to be filed before 2 people can wed!!!

[@nealcollins435]

I love the comments!

[@kota9087]

@@mo_bra3340 it literally makes no sense that its not a part of the process considering how often marriage fails

[@Zoomer-te9us]

I am 39 years old and unmarried. I could have been a few times and was even proposed to by a girl but always backed away. This guy confirms all the heartache I was warned about in dreams when I’d get to the place of marriage with these women. All of them were great and I have great memories with them but I am so glad to not have gone into the chaos. Marriage was more about making them happy versus me. They wanted their family off their back for being single and not having kids yet. I’m glad I didn’t marry for them only to divorce me later and take money to marry someone else within five years… this interview is the best soft white underbelly thus far

[@99thpeanut59]

I’m a 20 year old guy going a year strong with my girlfriend so I’m interested in your story. Do you worry you’ll be lonely when you grow old, or do you not think so

[@SardineSavage]

This guy is an absolutely phenomenal storyteller.

[@gurll-fn4ul]

He has to be like this

[@CM-fk8kj]

@@gurll-fn4ul why? Cuz... lawyer? New York City? You can be either or both of those things and that doesn’t mean you’re a great storyteller in this way.

[@patrickburns4821]

he said he dosen't think he can know everything about himself from himself...that was prolific.

[@louisurbancic2206]

@@CM-fk8kj I agree with your sentiment. Being a lawyer does not mean you are a great storyteller. At the same time, if you're going to be a good lawyer, you kinda need to be a good story teller. It'll help with your repertoire with the jury, anyway. And the attorney in this video, he's very captivating because he's a great story teller.

[@binkytube]

SardineSavage is a phenomenal moniker!

[@dazedAndConfuzedd]

This guy NEEDS his own show or podcast. So entertaining, wise and down to earth it’s incredible. Literally breath taking. One of if not the best interview I’ve ever seen. Hands down.

[@annavaljakka]

He has written books about it

[@patfromsac7951]

@@annavaljakkawhat are they called?

[@roseromaz9429]

He also have KZbin videos James J. Sexton

[@shannonsutherland2450]

Here here

[@erikkoenitzer5615]

Love his take on social media causing general unhappiness in comparing yourself to others... "you're looking at everyone's greatest hits while you're living your gag reel."

[@sarahfranco6802]

59:00

[@ashleyrojas44]

I really like this guy. I could listen to him for hours, even though there's a bit i dont agree with. He dropped so many gems in this interview too. So insightful. ❤️ Hope to see him again!

[@jojostorm]

This guy has so much knowledge he should start a podcast I could listen to him for hours seriously he can teach a lot of us

[@patriciashearouse1449]

I had the same exact thougth!

[@georgeg2369]

He has - Google him

[@probablynot1368]

He was interviewed for over 3 1/2 hours on the Lex Fridman channel about 3 weeks ago.

[@hirogerthisisme]

I don’t think he has the time…

[@christinecordaro9589]

I said the same thing I could have listened to him for so much longer, I agreed with every word. He speaks truth in such an engaging way.

[@5stelle88]

Please bring more episodes with this attorney. This is an extremely smart man and obviously very well versed in what he does. You could maybe even think about making him talk about other entirely different topics. Thank you for what you do Mark

[@theangriestoftabbies]

He’s been on other podcasts

[@chelle3524]

I agree. Very well-articulated, intelligent man. I would love to hear his thoughts on many topics.

[@taylorc2542]

What he doesn't incorporate is that marriage is a Christian sacrament.

[@Tomekayf]

I hung on his every word! Fascinating!

[@Talisman09]

He's a creep

[@nqobilemalaza9838]

James Sexton has a book [How To Stay In Love] and a podcast he co-hosts [Argue in Peace]. Both are brilliant... This man's brand of practical honesty is what we need more of. And he's so right about kindness - costs nothing but it can mean so much. Thanks for the conversation, SWU.

[@wtfmusic1961]

Hi, thanx

[@CCCBYT]

That is what I thought, he should write a book. And then I read your comment, he is brilliant.

[@kaydee7493]

Honestly I love this guy he has a great personality and deff giving a real glimpse on things that don’t get talked about enough

[@erinmcguire748]

After seeing so many divorces, he clearly still feels very strongly about people being in love. I saw his eyes get red a few times when he was talking about love. What a great interview.

[@vivere__]

So true, he still believes in the magic

[@independ4416]

I can't help but notice how he contradicted himself toward the end of the video. Initially, he said people shouldn't look at other relationships and make assumptions about how happy two people are. Then he turned around and made those same assumptions about the couple he and his wife went to Disney World with. Other than that, excellent video. I appreciate his wisdom and insight.

[@ungoyone]

@independ4416 I don't disagree with you but I think at first he was talking about general rules concerning marriage/relationships, and the end story was a personal experience that centered around him and his wife more than the other couple. But what do I know...

[@independ4416]

@ungoyone I could be wrong but that personal experience that centered around him and his wife, was influenced by assumptions made from observing the other couple.

[@oswurth8774]

Guy behind the camera sucks at talking, maybe an alright interview but the blue tie should have been let to talk

[@alanarzate93]

Man that first story about the 92 year old man leaving his wife after 60 plus years of marriage is actually heartbreaking I actually got upset 😔

[@lucianaromulus1408]

Just goes to show he was always trash.

[@timhensley3695]

One where I used to live shot his wife same age 😔

[@paintingwithrosev741]

@@timhensley3695 Thank you for sharing. I think we all need a reality check. My eyes have been wide open since I was six years old when I saw what marriage meant. The best thing I ever decided was to stay single.

[@timhensley3695]

@@paintingwithrosev741 I agree unless you win the lottery. It does exist.

[@historygal7]

Ugh that man’s poor wife. She shared her life with the man she thought would be there for her always. Oh that breaks my heart to pieces. He’ll regret it when he realizes he threw away the best thing in his life. Loyalty and Love. 😢 This is why I hesitate to fully love. I’m better off riding the line rather than making the step over and risking my heart. I’m such a romantic but it’s hard to believe in true love anymore. I’ll stick to my rescue dogs. Always loyal and unconditional love.

[@hassansyed6087]

"Why would you want to learn how to fight, IN A FIGHT??" That hit home for me. This whole podcast was a revelation. True enlightenment from a marriage soldier. He fights for each side but he soldiers forward.

[@cstuartdc]

Really really enjoyed the podcast. That said while his thesis is that marriage is an outdated and failed technology he didn’t present an alternative to raising children. Mom lives on oak street and Dad on maple in the same town? Single moms? A bunch of bitches in the same house? Single dads? Dad gets every Wednesday night and every other weekend (vanilla visitation schedule). If my sons want kids what are they supposed to do? Live in the basement while mom upstairs? Bird nesting? (Dad and mom alternate weeks in same house and buzz off on alternate weeks) Its easy to criticize; it’s hard to synthesize.

[@elegachi]

I might be biased as a law student, but this guy said somethings that are so rational. Be like him honestly. This is like one of the best social critism I have read or heard

[@SuperNewsman123]

Another fellow Divorce Lawyer here. Exceptional video, and phenomenal insight into what life is really behind the marital curtain. Bravo to all involved 🙌

[@mithrandirthegrey7644]

Is it really though? I've been married for 14 years and I don't recognize much of this. I guess I got lucky in that I married my neighbor/high school sweetheart. She's the only woman I've ever been with and while I find other women attractive - I've never had the inclination to cheat. I'm extremely happy and satisfied with where we are in our relationship. We're in our mid 30s and by the time we're 40 all our kids will be adults and we will be young-ish and still have time to enjoy our life together. Getting married and having kids early in life is really underappreciated.

[@xIxHaZexIx]

​@@mithrandirthegrey7644you are presenting anecdotal evidence.

[@darlarmartin]

​@mithrandirthegrey7644 which makes you in the percentage that has no issues. He didn't say 100% and I think that is awesome for you and your spouse.

[@paulv8133]

​@mithrandirthegrey7644 very cool, hope she feels the same way.

[@Sam-fp8zm]

@@mithrandirthegrey7644 well done

[@jness2312]

His views on marriage are pragmatic, without being jaded. James is a captivating story teller. I hope you bring him back.

[@explorer678]

This video should actually be shown to everyone before they get married...its actually so insanely insightful

[@jefaspirit]

They won’t listen. 😅

[@explorer678]

@@jefaspirit probably true

[@wanglee21]

If a women is not willing to have a real conversation and sign a prenup, a man "MUST" believe she is only in for her own gains. Walk away immediately

[@relaxing_white_noises_by_j1980]

It wouldn't be profitable for the marriage business...

[@srwales]

AGREED!! I’m so glad I watched this

[@beckismith3934]

Cannot tell u how. Much this interview helped me ... ive never laughed. N smiled so much coming to the realizations of things

[@FootlessJo]

This is such an important conversation. Getting married is so ridiculously easy - getting divorced tears every piece of your life apart. I hope we can keep having more conversations about this as a society and take a closer look at the technology of marriage.

[@meredithheath5272]

So agree - it should be the other way around - marrying should be way harder than divorce. Therefore, obtaining contraception and abortion should be way easier as well.

[@doctordef324]

You said it!!! Easy marriage in like 30 minutes flat, divorce, years!!!!!!!!!!

[@blissdad13]

Men Control access to marriage. Not women. Its easy only for for women who were raised to be wives to get proposals.. meaning they are nurturing. attractive... fit... loyal etc... oh yea and they have to be willing to settle for beta providers... a very small percentage of women fit this criteria.. and as a result. Men are proposing way less percentage wise than we ever have in civilized human history.. there is little benefit for Men to do so...average beckys such as yourself are now largly only going after the select top level men..and those men have options.. so why buy the cow....... please do not let all the sympathy simps in your comments and inbox, telling you every day that they want to drink your bath water, give you a false reality of what's really going on in these streets.. in the black community for instance only 1 out of 4 black women will ever get married.

[@גקדןרק]

The way you tried to sneak in abortion in there on a video about marriage and divorce is very telling...

[@FootlessJo]

@@גקדןרק ...where? Sorry, I'm confused?

[@TheAirlock]

The purpose of marriage isn't to be happy, it's to grow together. Happiness is a byproduct of a well maintained marriage. Whether you're single or married happiness flows in and out like the tide for all humans.

[@vl3525]

You phrased this beautiful 🤍

[@ladylucile15]

Absolutely

[@hasanalatrakchi]

you should be "growing together" even before marriage .. marriage should literally serve no purpose besides being mere celebration of togetherness

[@kingdolo23]

Well said my friend

[@antonyjh1234]

No, the purpose of marriage was to tie one man to one woman, who could then support the children that were called urchins or sold at markets, females getting pregnant and all property owned by males makes it hard to support children on your own, an incredibly tough time to be female. Child Support originated from this.

[@marianoortizvera6732]

please give this man a TED talk, so much wisdom

[@goblinsRule]

Feminists hates this one trick!

[@JSinclaire]

OMG please

[@somerando5613]

this guy is SUCH a loser! why do men who don’t understand women worship the LOSERS???

[@DownHillgamer]

​@@goblinsRule feminists just hate in general lol

[@soulsurfer639]

😂😂😂 facts! 💯​@@DownHillgamer

[@stephenmcisaac9552]

man, i could listen to this guy talk for hours and hours. Please bring him back!

[@jeffcornelison888]

This guy deserves his own show! Hell I could watch him over and over again!

[@danerichards7280]

Mgtow all the way

[@aaxa101]

Really articulated guy

[@casualgamers3369]

This guy feels like a character from Fight Club

[@kazujaja]

You should watch better call Saul

[@somedandy7694]

Mgtow Missile

[@roseflower4702]

We're 57 yrs old, been married for 36 yrs, together for 40. It's been hell and its been great. Glad we never gave up and that we still make the effort to keep things going.

[@WePlayKaylaPlay]

I’m happy you BOTH wanted to keep things working. I think that’s key. Even on bumping roads.

[@TheRealJaded]

Yawn

[@SyreneCrowell-blessed]

Its work all that you put in you will get out. The hell portion is what u chose. It didnt have to happen

[@kamara6392]

My wife loves when I send her Good morning texts .

[@roseflower4702]

@@pepper1188 Staying happily married is just like anything else worth having, it takes work. If you sit on the couch night after night eating a bag of chips, you're going to have the body that reflects that life style. Marriage is no different. You want a healthy happy marriage, you need to work at it. In our 40 yr relationship we've had our ups and downs for sure, but we've always wanted to keep up the work to bring it back.

[@NK-ho5vp]

Started out thinking "what a total loud mouth jerk", ended the interview thinking " wish he could be my life coach". As always Mark, the beauty of these interviews is that people are never what you expect. What an amazing interview full of practical life truths.

[@kris9259]

I had the exact same reaction. Good stuff.

[@peppyskeptic]

Can I ask what made you think he was a jerk? I'm just curious and trying to learn. Thanks!

[@kris9259]

@@peppyskeptic for me, I honestly think I judged him too quickly. He made a comment about women (a sex comment) and I assumed he was going to be a sexist. I ended feeling very wrong about my assumption.

[@GozieZilla]

You guys judge waaaaay to fast

[@yyyd6559]

​@@kris9259I hope you don't get judged the way you judge

[@NobleNobbler]

This guy is so thoughtful and insightful. Love him.

[@andrewthompson6893]

This has to be one of the best monologues I've ever heard. Absolutely epic, and should be watched before a marriage license is issued.

[@charleneharris370]

Yesssss

[@MariaGonzalez-yp9kr]

Absolutely AGREE !!

[@NCFlexy]

Marriage meets the legal standards for negligence. That's pure gold.

[@MichaelKoksharov]

Indeed.

[@asahel980]

Its more Insanity actually , because youre in love its messing with your brain.

[@Adelicows]

Marriage is not negligence 🙄 The dumb dumbs who never should have gotten married in the first place are the ones being negligent, not the concept of marriage itself. These comments make me feel incredibly lucky to be married to someone who actually loves me. Dang.

[@FryRice59]

“It’s like owning a lion!”

[@mopheousredpill7462]

marriage is like owning a lion 🤣😂🤣

[@rollingtinfist]

60:00 phenomenal interview. I had an aunt who died at almost 80 after about 60 years married. My uncle in a private moment told me, life without her never occurred to him. They went through so much together and still maintained their love and devotion to each other, despite war, exile, etc.

[@нетсубда]

The words that comes out of this guy is constant gold

[@stevenking9357]

This was by far the best interview I've seen on your channel. I'm 67 and divorced, I'm sending this to my single 22 year old daughter right now, I wish I would have seen this when I was 20. What a life education.

[@jawuansutton]

If you watched it in your 20s what would you have done differently?? Any advice to your younger self?

[@avo-w1s]

@@jawuansuttonplease tag me in the response id love to see as im in my 20s

[@alyssag.5758]

Why would you send this doom and gloom to your daughter? You're horrible.

[@Shornandkenny]

Absolutely, I'm 40 and went through a 100 000 dollar divorce from my addicted ex. Man, what a valuable tid bit of information.

[@Shornandkenny]

@@mstewie9718 it's nice to get a lawyers advice in a different context. A context where money isn't the objective.

[@user-bd1xi3jl9n]

can we have more soft white underbelly interviews like this with super educated people and hear their opinions? I love it so fascinating

[@JokerCat9]

In a way, the soft white underbelly of marriage is divorce.

[@jakejake7289]

This guy needs to write a book! He's factual, concise and incredibly incisive.

[@fangirlgeek1553]

he has written a book! 'If you're in my office it's too late'

[@jakejake7289]

@fangirlgeek1553 Thanks.. saw that in the description text afterwards 🙂

[@jakejake7289]

@@Daveunave Thanks.. I saw that in the description after I posted my comment.

[@annemariemiguel2541]

Or maybe a reality type show

[@DanielDickin]

"Blowjobs and Granola: The Keys to Marriage Success" would be a great title

[@carinavolante4897]

Everyone should watch this at least once. So much wisdom explained in such a great way.

[@groovygalaxies]

"People lie to their therapist, but they won't lie to their divorce lawyer." Wow! I'm blown away. I want to read Sexton's books.

[@ryanhorvath1308]

It doesn't benefit you to lie to your lawyer - some form of the truth will eventually come out in the wash. I don't understand why people would want to lie to their therapist if they actually wanted help either but that's another story.

[@moviebuff6490]

He has published books about marriage? I'm not surprised.

[@ireeblount8238]

Therapy works when you work it. People don’t want to do the work, which is what he’s saying. The uncomfortable conversations in the beginning for the prenup… if you can’t do that, then you shouldn’t be getting married.

[@ChosenPlaysYT]

This was super refreshing. He’s unapologetically candid and authentic, while also being knowledgeable and relatable. If only our politicians were like this guy.

[@guitarsoundsaround]

Why do people feel the need to bring politics into everything … go rewatch the video, you missed 99percent of it.

[@edisinmedicine5512]

Politicians aren’t relatable. They have to think about everything they speak and are forbidden from speaking candidly in fact most of these fucks read their speeches no one speaks from the heart

[@cuppa_joe]

36:45 - "How are you going to be married to someone, have children with someone, and you can't talk about hard things such as a prenup? How are you going to navigate life together and not be able to talk about hard things? If you can't then don't get married". So very true. Hit the nail on the head.

[@Bubbles-od2tv]

Prenups should be mandatory, then no difficult conversations will need to be had!

[@cuppa_joe]

@@Bubbles-od2tv That will most likely never happen unfortunately.

[@carolynbowne4294]

Probably my favorite interview so far. He said so many great things! Marriage is hard, but I believe it's worth it. I actually think Jim would be a fantastic partner because he has such great insight. Maybe he should go into Marriage counseling as well!

[@THE_Glass_Grizzly]

"You're going to die, does that undermine your life?" Is such a great way to look at this whole thing, honestly. This was a very good conversation to have.

[@jax993]

It’s the 1 thing you can count on 😂

[@bone6495]

In divorce your waman will take at least half of your money and property, your children too more importantly. You will loose your friends and family who will almost certainly not be on your side. Death is preferable for many who go trough this.

[@KJ-lb4tj]

​@@bone6495yup, divorce is not something you want.