5 Reasons Not to Put Your Kid in ABA

[@rebeliousautie541]

From neurotypical parents who defend it, the main vibe I get from them is they love aba because they no longer have to tolerate their kid's autism. To hell with the child's feelings, as long as the adult no longer has to be inconvenienced..It's not true of all, just the ones who defend it no matter what is said to them about how abusive it is, refusing to listen at all.

[@MrGhostTube]

Indeed. 👍🏻

[@jessatlife]

This is so on point. 💯

[@Stettafire]

Yes. I really don't like these "autism moms" who ignore their kids needs while their kid suffers through horrible ABA

[@willow6049]

Autism is on the rise globally

[@StephanieBethany]

I know this must have been difficult 💛 Thank you for sharing from the parent's perspective on modern ABA, because for many, this is the only perspective they may be willing to hear

[@Autmazing]

Thank you Stephanie. And I'm so glad you commented because I'd forgotten to add the link to your ABA that I'd meant to share, and when I saw your name I remembered!

[@StephanieBethany]

@@Autmazing 💛💛

[@maribeldelacruz5196]

@@Autmazing the true and evidenced based ABA is on Autism Partnership Method.. People are practicing different ABA...

[@lashawn711]

I wanted so hard to believe that I could find a good ABA company, and I was desperate during quarantine when school and therapy was on hold. My twins were in ABA for 8 months and while I thought it wasn’t bad the more I saw and the more I learned I realized that it didn’t align with our family goals. My kids weren’t struggling and my husband and I weren’t overwhelmed with parenting ND kids but as soon as they were diagnosed I was told they immediately needed to quit school and do ABA instead. When I told them I wanted to take my kids out of ABA it was the worst response ever. They are threatening to kick my kids out immediately, the center manager was being very passive aggressive, and basically told me my kids would fail if I took them out of ABA and the BCBA stop communication with me with no explanation why. I’m glad that they are back in school doing just fine and having a childhood like all kids deserve.

[@natesportyboy4939]

You should consider DIR/Floortime, SCERTS, TEACCH, or Hanen for your kids instead.

[@MrGhostTube]

I hear great things about occupational therapy for a positive skill learning process.

[@barbarahill8019]

What is Hanen? ​@@natesportyboy4939

[@lydiajude8017]

Also, denying children access to food as a punishment feels like a dangerous slope towards the development of an eating disorder, especially if the child already has other risk factors for developing an ED.

[@Stettafire]

I went through ABA and now have an ED, so sadly, can confirm

[@erinc4703]

I didn't have ABA but I did have food withheld as punishment and to this day I struggle to regulate my food intake. It's just so easy to ignore and forget about

[@Chailatte2023]

Hi! Im an rbt and we dont withhold food as punishment. Thats considered a primary reinforced which cannot be withheld. However we might withhold chips/snacks due to that being secondary. But actual meals like their lunch we dont withhold. We also pratice ASSENT. Which is another word for consent. We dont force them to do anything unless we have their assent. Hopefully that helps

[@stellazovak]

@@Chailatte2023I appreciate that you don’t withhold meals. But using food as a tool for reward/punishment, even if you judge it to be “fun food” and not essential for nutrition is very a very dangerous way of using food and can lead to ED.

[@SilenceInTheBliss]

It feels like a Pavlov's Dog scenario, or mice in a maze finally ringing the bell at the end for a treat.

[@leannestrong1000]

I was born in 1993, and diagnosed as a toddler or very young child, back in the 90s. My mom said she had looked into ABA for me when I was younger, but was against it. She said she felt like it was basically dog training for humans.

[@akisatsuki8444]

It is, it really is 😂

[@cauehsalzedasteixeira402]

She is not wrong

[@neurodimensions7509]

As an adult-diagnosed autistic person, I am so glad I never was placed in ABA! One of the ways I always coped with not knowing how the act neurotypical was doing exactly what I thought other people wanted me to do. Up until I was diagnosed, I was stuck so deeply in the “people pleasing” pattern and had no boundaries. If I would have been in ABA, I’m sure the therapists would have viewed me as the “ideal” child. I am already struggling so much to express my needs and feelings. I cannot imagine how deeply ingrained this would be if I had been rewarded for it in ABA!

[@gingerwall8977]

Same with me. Society is like a light version of ABA because of the way we masked.

[@mxpants4884]

I haven't been formally diagnosed (irony is that the moral panic that weaponizes autism rates in trans people was a significant nudge towards recognizing myself and connecting many of my struggles to develop and maintain my sense of self. [Putting a pin in this because I need to get sleep. If I forget to add the rest later, I just needed to say this feels super familiar.]

[@theironfox2756]

I was diagnosed with autism from EEG, but then they changed it to schizophrenia so they can bilk my family's insurance for 3k a month in 92 money.

[@sitikhodijah-ni5wn]

So how were you treated or what method did you go for?

[@tiffanysearle3703]

You are amazing. Thank you for sharing this. I don’t believe in ABA. I live in the U.K. and we don’t practice ABA. I’m going to share this everywhere. My heart has broke several times hearing what they do. I’m so happy to hear you have saved your children it’s so awful to think that the professionals think this is ok. I am autistic and so are both my boys. Much love ❤️ Tiffany xxx

[@Stettafire]

Hello. Just to say Wales did use (no shock) ABA in the 90s and early 2000s. I experienced it myself

[@AutisticRebbetzen]

Thank you so much for making this video! This information is super important. This kind of garbage is why I consider myself lucky to have been discovered as an adult. My very wise mother looked at how the "experts" were pathologizing harmless behaviors in my older brother and kept us both out of that arena completely. I'm sure that there are some things that could've helped me navigate life when I was younger, but ABA is not one of them- especially in the 1990s. I hope this video gets shared far and wide!

[@Autmazing]

Thank you! And I totally agree. One of the few reasons I’m thankful for my late diagnosis is that I didn’t have to go through this. I can’t imagine.

[@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193]

I've always been frustrated with my mom for not getting me diagnosed as a kid because I thought that if I'd known I was autistic maybe I would have had better support. Now part of me is thanking God she didn't, especially after I saw a clip today of old ABA. I was born in 1986, so I'm pretty sure that's what I would have gotten.

[@butternutsquash6984]

As a direct support professional, i getvto deal with the trauma behaviors of adults who endured ABA and other abusive Special Ed programs. We have a dictum, "there is always a reason for the behavior" and we are not talking about communication. Often, it's a survival skill from school or the Institution. Thank God they are aggressively shutting the latter down! The only really useful thing behaviorism has given us is the reminder to analyze what happened before and after so we can modify the actual stressor.

[@surreal-wanderer]

You rock. I can only imagine how hard it must be to talk about the whole experience. You do it in such a nuanced way, which I know can be challenging on such a polarizing issue. I think, or at least I hope, the voices of people like you who are both nuerodivergent and parents of nuerodivergent kids have a lot of power to reach the people who believe in aba.

[@Java-D]

I feel the exact same way. Unfortunately in my city, aba is recommend and pushed by everyone. People look at me like I’m a 4 eyed green alien when I tell them we won’t do aba. Even the public schools here don’t understand autism. It’s sad!

[@Barbee-LiveNow]

I am grateful for your strength. I am learning how to be stronger as a Mom.

[@ChloeFletcher-gk1fo]

It’s heavily pushed where I live too. I have a cousin that’s a BCBa and talks so highly of ABA and I’ve cut her out of my life for the most part. I don’t get people like her.

[@PittiesParrotsPachyderms]

As a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA), I want to address these concerns with the respect and understanding they deserve. ABA undeniably has a troubling past, but the field is making significant strides to address and rectify these issues. Like all medical and behavioral sciences, ABA has evolved, and practitioners are constantly learning and improving their methods. I am truly sorry for the negative experiences some have had with ABA. It deeply bothers me to know that practitioners have treated individuals this way, and I want to emphasize that this is not representative of how ABA is meant to be practiced today, nor is it the direction the field is heading. I’d also like to clarify a common misconception: ABA is not solely a treatment for autism; it’s the science of behavior and is applicable to all living beings. ABA principles shape everyday interactions, and I'm happy to discuss how these concepts play out in daily life for anyone interested. Pairing isn’t “love-bombing.” It’s about building a trusting, positive relationship with the child that continues throughout the therapy, not just in the first two weeks. For example, I often wear clothing or bring items that my clients find comforting or amusing so I can help redirect them when they’re distressed. I work with one child who expresses frustration by threatening others, and I use visuals like my dog-print shoes or pet photos to redirect her, giving us a bridge to discuss her feelings safely. I’m her advocate and often the only voice in her school reminding them she isn’t a “bad” child but simply doesn’t yet have the skills to communicate effectively. Planned ignoring is another concept that’s often misunderstood. It involves ignoring the problematic behavior, not the child. I continue to engage with the child, help them identify their needs, and teach them safe, socially appropriate ways to communicate. For instance, if a child exhibits aggression or property destruction, I ignore the behavior and guide them toward a “replacement behavior”-an appropriate alternative to meet their needs. Replacement behaviors are beneficial for everyone, not just autistic children. I don’t “train” my clients to be happy or to suppress their feelings. I prioritize teaching children how to express all their emotions and encourage open communication, even if they’re upset with me. One of the first things I teach is how to say “no” and “stop,” and I honor those words. This reinforces their sense of agency and respect, empowering them to understand that their words have impact. In reputable ABA clinics, food reinforcers are no longer commonly used. I use food in therapy only when teaching a child to request a specific item, linking their communication-whether through spoken words, sign language, or a communication device-to their needs. This is about building their communication skills and independence, not about compliance or control. I also agree that children should not be in therapy for 40 hours a week. In my six years as an analyst, I have recommended that level of therapy for only one child with severe self-injury and physical aggression in a daycare setting. Therapy hours should always be in the best interest of the child, not for profit. No child should be expected to “work” a full-time schedule, and any organization requiring a rigid number of therapy hours is likely not prioritizing the child’s welfare. I’m open to discussing these points further with anyone who wants to learn more. As someone responsible for training the staff at my agency, I actively seek out critiques of ABA to ensure that our team avoids the harmful practices some have unfortunately experienced. My goal is to provide ethical, compassionate, and individualized care to each child, and to contribute to a future where ABA is a field that prioritizes dignity, respect, and the unique needs of every individual.

[@val5431]

I really appreciate this video, I’m a psychology major and I really want to stay away from these harmful practices.

[@digiscream]

From what I can tell, ABA is problematic in ways similar to Cesar Milan's approach to dog training (bear with me here, I'm not comparing kids to dogs...at least, not directly). His approach with a "dangerous" dog is to prevent them from showing signs of aggression - defined as growling, baring their teeth, snapping etc. The thing is, those are _not_ signs of aggression at all; they're the last stages in a dog's vocabulary of warning signs that something's wrong and they're trying to stop it. The end result is that you get a dog who _looks_ happy, but that's because you've taken away all of their ability to communicate that they're uncomfortable, and the only option left to them is to tolerate it until they reach their limit and no longer can....and at that point, the only option left to them is to bite. ABA seems exactly like that - it removes all of the ability for an autistic child to communicate or deal with their unhappiness, because they've been trained to believe that worse things happen if they don't bottle it up and act like everything's fine. When that bottle's full, though, and they've reached their stress limit...bang. The claim of it being "evidence-based" is laughable, though, because the premise itself is wrong, and therefore the measures they're using in collecting their evidence are useless. Their sole measure is, "Does this child look normal and do as they're told?". Notably absent is any attempt to measure the psychological health of the child, and how well they're able to function as _themselves_ rather than the picture of a child the practitioners are trying to force them into. Why? Because that's actually quite hard, and it's much easier to act like a dog trainer who doesn't really understand dogs.

[@Autmazing]

This is so accurate and ABA is often compared to dog training (bad dog training as you explained so well) by people who oppose it.

[@digiscream]

@@Autmazing - thanks. It amazes me that they don't realise that their whole approach is utterly un-scientific. They identify a symptom, and then force the child to stop displaying that symptom. If it was an experiment, it would fail on peer review because _by definition_ they are deliberately distorting their single means of measurement, and calling it "success".

[@amandamandamands]

For me that they say that it is evidence based is even worse. There aren't any studies done using gold standard research methods. Any studies that have been done consist of a very small number of people, no controls and definitely not comparing them to a different treatment method. It is the preferred treatment method solely because it was the first one where they saw 'improvement' in the children.

[@konysa3641]

Love the way you put that comparison. To add to the 'evidence based' its something that's been around since the 1960's so OF COURSE there's going to be plenty of studies over the decades. But can you properly compare the results of those studies with today's methods? I'm sure the kids of the 1960's didn't have proloqu on their ipads to help with verbal communication. Also as ABA is often the only thing insurance will cover, and INSURANCE dictates 'how much therapy' you get to have. Insurance will always go for what has the 'most evidence' aka the thing that's been around longest. AND what shows the fastest results. True the ABA does show rapid results. Therapies such as music or art therapy certainly won't produce such rapid or tangible results. But the goals of those tend to be more long term. AKA expensive for insurance. Therefore its a vicious cycle. The question is never what does THIS child need, at THIS moment. It's 'how much is this going to cost', 'how quickly can we get this done/fixed?' 'What seems the most scientific so we can meet a compliance code?'

[@coolwwetoysandundertalefan680]

Our sons speach therapist, told us not to do aba that it was just like dog training! This is the only other time I have seen someone say this. My son will never do aba!

[@mothershood683]

We just got a diagnosis 2 days ago and my mind is absolutely spinning. I love the way my pops is and don’t want to suppress who he is. Just the thought of 40 hours a week makes me sick. It overwhelms me who won’t even be the one participating. I could never do that to my son just trick the rest of the world that he’s “normal.” I love you , Logan….. just the way you are!

[@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193]

I hope y'all are doing okay.

[@alwaysfollowtheOne]

Honor that feeling that this isn't the right path is my desire for you. You, the one who loves him so, please trust your heart and that you do want good things for him but feel that isn't the best path for him :).

[@luzceballos3645]

Listening to this breaks my heart it’s disgusting to hear people fight to give electric shocks to people on the spectrum 💔 why can’t this world be more accepting

[@indigotaylor-noguera7119]

When they say evidence-based, I think what they really mean is narrative-based. Thank you for sharing your story here and I am glad your daughters were able to escape these dynamics.

[@Ragdollcatlover]

I commented on your other video and yes I have to accept that my daughters ABA programme probably damaged her mental health. I’m autistic too btw. I thought it was the only option at a time where I just didn’t know enough about autism. You’re right, even though it works that doesn’t make it the right thing.

[@mochibi6035]

Thank you for your bravery in sharing about this topic. All the blessing to your children and family. You are helping a lot of parents out there.

[@NelsonEnzo]

THANK YOU! As a parent that sent thier child to ABA and also has regrets, I know how hard it was to put this video together and speak up! It was very brave of you to share your experience. You have both inspired me, and given solace. Thank you!

[@florestrella1305]

I was the favorite RBT of all my patients because I genuinely paired with the kids by allowing them lead the sessions. I allowed them to engage in their favorite activities and ran the targets while i was actively engaging with the patient by playing with play doh, creating arts and crafts etc. Whenever they engaged in behavior i acknowledged them and made sure they knew i was there to help them process that emotion. Staying calm while they tried to bite me was very difficult, but i knew thats how they were trying to tell me something, thats how they communicated. I NEVER used food as reinforcement because that is unhealthy and cruel, not even the snacks. If they wanted a snack I would allow as long as they didnt ate a lot of them. Lol. The patients loved me, while the other therapists not as much because my patients would engage in behaviors during therapists transitions. The thing that made leave was when the OT suggested to not let one of my patients engage in his favorite activity due to him engaging in behavior when the activity didnt go his way. I was like 🤯🤯🤯, thats an assault to the patient!!! I was enraged and sad that i could not do more for my patients. I also never did "work" with them, i ran the targets while we were playing together. I would think about pytting myself in patients' shoes and doing "work" everyday, the same way over and over again, must be awful and mechanical. After all, they are children and they deserve to enjoy their childhood as well.

[@octoberdawn1087]

My daughter was diagnosed in the summer of 2020 in a mental health hospital. I was diagnosed this April 2021 by an outside Autism Specialist. The 1st thing our Christian clinic did was try to force both of us into ABA. Are they kidding!? They missed the autism for 15 years of therapy there. All of my meltdowns in the waiting room from being overstimulated. Both my daughter and me cutting and pulling our hair out and all kinds of stuff. They just kept doping us up. Then, they want to shove us into ABA!?!? 🥺🥺🥺

[@skateranddancer]

A Christian clinic told my mom I had borderline but then didn’t tell me. My mom used it against me because she was told it’s an evil disease that can’t be cured and that I would always seek to manipulate. However, many autistic women are misdiagnosed with borderline. I wasn’t trying to manipulate, i was trying to mask.

[@Truerealism747]

Do you get pain with your Asperger's ime glad I've found out late at 43 my mother has it never new now 72 severe ms hypomobilty have fybromyalgia I think peace and quiet is the recipe for us my grandfather obviously had it made it threw life farming he new I had it makes so much sense now

[@jessicalepins1433]

Your experience with ABA is so well ewplained, you highlighted all the things I also found problematic in this program... Also the parents are often told that there is no alternatives to ABA but it's not true, just go to an Occupational therapist and you can find other means to help your child grow and learn in the way that fits him/her the most. :) There is plenty of methods that respects the child as a person and helps him/her to developp life skills, including emotional intelligence and self esteem

[@amandamandamands]

It makes me so glad that I was only diagnosed recently as an adult. I hate to think what therapy options they would have put me through in the 70's and 80's. I'm in Australia and ABA is used here unfortunately. There are also OT's and other treatment options that you can use too but I don't know what emphasis is put on each method.

[@Dina-ew1pk]

Thank you for the info because my son is 10 with autism and was thinking about ABA for him but now no way put my poor boy through this!

[@lydiajude8017]

TW ///// I wholly agree that ABA sets up autistic people to be even more vulnerable for abuse. The emphasis on compliance taught me that it was never okay to say no, advocate for myself, or upset others. As a result, I didnt have the emotional tools to do anything but comply when I was put into a situation that led to me being sexually abused as a child.

[@relentlessrhythm2774]

Unfortunately this is common for us autistics.

[@shanesorensen7878]

We need to make a demonstration in-front of Washington DC saying ABA caused some of us to be sexually assaulted like so many of us let’s do it. We can start movement called ABA causes sexual violence or something as someone who survived an assault we need to say no to ABA.

[@leannestrong1000]

The sad truth is that we don't even treat DOGS like this. Yes, we do teach dogs to respond to commands such as, "sit," "stay," "lay down," "quiet," "leave it," "drop it," and then only offer a treat or other desired item once the dog complies with the command. But we don't try to make a dog learn to tolerate being petted, or at the very least, say the words, "I don't want to be petted."

[@psychobabble2022]

I am 100% not sorry for not putting my son into this narcissistic abuse program. It always sounded more like punishment than therapy.

[@EBR1]

"Narcissistic abuse program". You hit the nail right on the head with that description. I too noticed that the techniques used are the same techniques that narcissistic abusers use. If we're honest, the techniques of "gaslighting" were originally invented and perfected by psychiatrists themselves. The term may have originated from a movie, but the act and actions were originally conceived of by psychiatrists. They have made a fortune convincing people that they are "mentally ill" even when the patient disagreed. Some people are mentally ill, no doubt, but those who are not will still be gaslit into accepting questionable and potentially harmful psychiatric treatments all in the name of bilking the patient's insurance and not necessarily for the well being of the patient. So again, it's no surprise that narcissistic gaslighting and abusive techniques feature prominently in the practice of ABA and behaviorism in general.

[@joantoombsoppong7485]

I love working with children all children but I also have special place in my heart with children who have special needs. I have heard so many pros and cons with ABA therapy. I have been studying and have been aware that there are certain things that ABA should be and not be. I'm also trying to study other alternative therapies and cognitive learning patterns for children. What are the names of some other appropriate learning curriculums for children and special needs children that you can recommend?

[@shellylaurelwright-burroug555]

Just the phrase alone "evidence based" is narcissistic

[@maribeldelacruz5196]

@@EBR1 ABA therapists are different from psychiatrists...there are people practicing ABA but not the true one..the one that is proven effective is on Autism Partnership Method..

[@kaylamiller2024]

Exactly like these facilities are not trustworthy and I cannot comprehend why there's even such things like this and why parents let their child go through this and this is why we can't trust anybody and I wish that parents just embrace their child's specific unique needs and wants and who they are because autism is not a bad thing the only bad thing is people behind the facilities 😢

[@SB-lm2mg]

Let me start by saying I am an ABA therapist and I have been in the fiels for almost 14 years now. I was shocked when you compared pairing to love bombing, and how there is a discard after ward. You stated that the discard isn't present due to the financial incentives for the therapist, but after hearing your description, I do believe there IS a discard. The turnover in this field is extremely high. It is the thing I hate most about the job. Here I am trying to help a student feel comfortable enough with me to develop conversation skills and boom, I'm off the student's case, because they lost their funding. I will typically be one of multiple therapists. I might be with a patient for 8 months and have been with them the longest, because the other therapists were college students and their semester ended so they moved home or something like that. It often happened that I would be with a student for only a couple of months at a time. And ethically this is considered fine. In fact, getting too close is discouraged and we are rigorously trained about what constitutes an appropriate patient therapist relationship. Of course, safe boundaries with children are so important, but that sudden withdrawal of a close individual is traumatic and I think it absolutely constitutes a "discard" as you said.

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

You can still go back to school and get a respectable job that doesn’t involve emotionally crippling autistic children and/or adults.

[@central_scrutinizr]

@@GhostIntoTheFog your comment is unnecessarily harsh towards someone who clearly cares about the well-being of children. You can be angry about ABA without taking it out on a single individual who is probably doing their best to help according to what the medical establishment has taught them.

[@larrywilson6982]

Why are you still working for these concentration camps?

[@SB-lm2mg]

​​@@larrywilson6982That is an insane thing to say. You sound like an idiot. NOTHING about ABA truly compares to the atrocities that occur in places like that. If you think they do, you should go read more about what happened to children during the holocaust. My job was to teach children self care and social skills. Toileting, feeding, play so they could connect with peers and family. Every child who cannot toilet by themselves is at greater risk for abuse. Access to proper nutrition and the ability to physically put food and water in your own mouth is necessary for fucking SURVIVAL. It is the single most effective skill to help a disabled person live a long, healthy life. My job was to make sessions as fun and comfortable as possible. I treated my clients with respect and never "abused" ANY one. People with Autism DO struggle emotionally. It's part of the diagnosis. Not being able to communicate or take care of your own needs will do a number on your mental state. Teaching them to identitfy and communicate their needs and desires is HUGELY important for their emotional wellbeing. I'm not working in ABA anymore because I'm home with my toddler. Doing all the things I taught through ABA. Eating, toileting, dressing, playing, social skills, identifying and communicating body needs, identifying and communicating emotions... all through rewards. NEVER punishments. Because scientific research does not support the effectiveness of punishment procedures and it is NOT supposed to be used in therapy sessions. Any one who tells you that it is, is either dealing with a therapist who has not continued their education in like 30+ years, or is lying.

[@georgeplayz5988]

Fantastic video, that i know must have been hard to make. Im in the UK and ABA is hardly ever used. In fact out special needs early years teacher didn't even know what it was. Im thankful that it isnt an option here that wouldn't be pushed on me and my daughter. What you said about love bombing and ABA leaving children open to abuse just makes perfect sense to me and its hard to understand how parents who have had this explained don't get it. I do totally get that if a parent isnt informed and this is pushed as the only way of ever helping your child, a parent can and will go down that path. Its all about information, choices, and listening to autistic people

[@KMWeir]

You make some good points but I think there are extreme cases that it helps. And I have to say that my daughter nor my granddaughter with ASD could EVER tell me what was wrong amid their meltdowns. My asking always made it worse. No matter how I asked. And if I touched them, it didn’t help. We had to just wait. Always. Sitting in silence shortened them. No ASD’s are alike. So you are VERY fortunate. I regret not putting my ASD daughter into ASD therapy. Me & her dad weren’t able to keep her at home past the age of 18. She could function well enough as an adult and we had no rights. More about her below. Haveyou read the first book written by a non-verbal autistic boy called The Reason I Jump?This is an amazing book that helped me understand way more about ASD than I ever imagined. He shared so much that was surprising. The documentary is amazing also. Learning that even when someone with ASD uses THE WRONG words repeatedly to express what’s going on with them or what they want to do is mind blowing. I say this because what ASD’s say isn’t always what they mean. And their emotional expressions aren’t either. The author of the book talked so often about his deep desires not to distract or make things harder for his family or classroom. He talked about this A LOT. What do you make of this? A child who desires to not be disruptive or draw attention is one who may benefit from ABA. My granddaughter: The desire to sit in a classroom with other peers rather than being placed in a classroom with disabled children who have other kinds of disability has been a nightmare for my 5 year old granddaughter. And she was physically abused by an aide there. For MONTHS we tried everything we knew to find out why she hated school. Teacher meetings regularly. Shed loved pre1school! We put her in music therapy in hopes to help her because she is very musically inclined. When she came home with bruises she was finally able to have enough of our help to get out that a specific aide for another student (a one on one) held her down for screaming. Leaving bruises! And we did EVERYTHING with the school BEFORE we found out yet she couldn’t communicate it to us. She screamed and had horrible fits before school regularly. We asked in every way we knew ‘is someone hurting you?’ From calm talks to times when we would draw together & with toys. She’s show violent behavior between toys but she didn’t tell us. I know she couldn’t. She wanted to be in a regular classroom but some of her behaviors just were too disruptive. She could read by 3. She can play most any children’s song on piano after hearing it 3 or 4 times. So being in that class was wrong for her! And then the trauma she experienced. So when you talk about a child being vulnerable. . . I feel as if my granddaughter was more vulnerable because she was unable to control behavior in a normal classroom where she would’ve flourished. I do believe this. Now she has so much trauma. My adult ASD daughter is miserable because she cannot contain herself appropriately around people. I am certain ABA would’ve helped her as a child. She wants SO much to handle her emotions better and to have good friendships but because she simply cannot properly control herself emotionally & expressively. And she landed herself into a very toxic relationship once she was an adult. She was sexually assaulted by his roommate. So I’m picking up pieces everywhere and crying everyday when I am alone. I did everything I possibly knew to do. My daughter resisted EVERY type of therapy we put her in. We never tried ABA. I can’t change the past but my granddaughter is now in ABA. She will be 6 soon. I think it’s a good age. I don’t think before she 5 may be. Developmentally that’s just my thoughts.

[@amandamandamands]

You do understand that asking while in meltdown is too late, by that stage there is a really high probability that they can't tell you what is going on the same way that NT people when they are highly distressed can't verbalise. The only difference is that to you why the NT person is distressed is obvious. If you know the people in your life well then you should know what a lot of their meltdown triggers are and what the warning signs are that they are heading to meltdown (unless they are so high masking that it isn't obvious, but even then there are still tells if you know the person really well) and it is before they get to meltdown that you need to be asking the questions and removing what is causing the issues. ABA wouldn't have improved your daughter's life 1 because compliance means that she would have been more vulnerable to being in an abusive relationship and 2 there is a really high proportion of people who go through ABA that have PTSD from it. My emotional regulation has only improved in the last couple of years and that is with good therapists (psychologist and OT), learning about interoception, proprioception, how emotions feel in your body (so that you can try and link what is happening in your body with an actual emotion) and learning that I do have sensory issues. It took me really stepping back from life and finding out all these things to now know that getting a headache is one of my warning signs (I used to just have headaches all the time), if I am out with my mum she can see warning signs with the way that I move because I have now allowed myself to not be as high masking. These are the things that help, not something that forces you to mask and pretend to be something that you aren't.

[@stellazovak]

It sounds like you’re struggling and you’re trying to do your best. There are better ways to help with the things you mentioned than punishing and rewarding behavior. Can I suggest that you look into “collaborative problem solving”? My son had very scary meltdown in which he was clearly in horrible distress that looked physically painful, he would also physically hurt me, hurt his baby sister and damage property. I had no idea what to do. I tried loads of terrible ideas. I was desperate. It only started getting better when I learned about collaborative problem solving and gave up on any kind of punishment or reward system. He’s 9 now and only occasionally has meltdowns, and when he does, they are much easier. I’m very proud of the healthy relationships we have fostered in our home. He is one of the most loving big brothers I’ve ever seen and he and I have a positive, connected relationship.

[@lindarodriguez8995]

Thank you for sharing your story about ABA and your children. The idea that a child should be "trained" to behave in a way that makes them more acceptable to others is abhorrent to me! Both my husband and I were diagnosed with ASD in the last few years. I was considered an "odd" child, a moniker that I accept with enthusiasm now. In order to try to survive the bullying that I faced every day at school, I became a mimic and a good actress. It was so bad that I felt like I could be myself only when I was acting in a play! I have used what I now understand as masking from the age of 6 onwards. I was fortunate to have parents who encouraged me to follow my passions and who loved me unconditionally at home. I was treated no differently than my siblings and so, while I was punched, kicked, and called names without mercy at school (I am an older adult, and back in my day, there was one teacher who went out with us to recess and lunch and they were usually tied up with the loud students who were misbehaving. As a result, since I was very quiet and was becoming more so as the abuse continued, the teacher never seemed to see me.) I went home to a sanctuary filled with love and peace. Many people could not say the same thing, so I am very grateful to my parents. ABA has always sounded to me like something I wouldn't do to an animal, let alone a human being. Fortunately for me, I was born in the early 60's so ABA had not reached our mostly rural area. Also, "girls don't have ASD" was a definite thought process at that time. I am so glad that my parents will never have the feelings of guilt that you have suffered. I would say to you, please put that guilt away. You have at all times been a good mother. You were given what was thought of as an ideal treatment by adults who should have known better. You are making sure that anyone who watches your channel understands the things you wish you had known about before making your decisions so that their children don't have to suffer ABA. I say you are a hero. Thank you.

[@lizbethlopez8619]

Your kids are super fortunate of having you as a mother. You understand the internal/private events that go on. Most parents do not and that is why they seek assistance. I strongly believe in the company I work for and if you ever have any suggestions to people who are learning and practicing the field, I would honestly love to hear more about what you have to say. I’m going to become a bcba and I honestly want to do things right. ❤

[@tatev_malakian]

Thank you for sharing your experience ❤❤❤

[@natalyrodriguez7078]

I looked into Aba therapy for my daughter like 6 years ago… I was inside the school and saw the kids crying and the therapist getting handsy with the kids… I immediately thought noo way! I wanted to cry… I also looked up videos on KZbin about aba therapy and a commenter said he has autism and was in aba therapy and that the therapist was abusive towards him even saying swear words to him! I felt awful! I thank god I didn’t put my daughter through that abuse just speech therapy.

[@angietopaz6099]

She's absolutely right I agree with her 100%. It's true ignoring a child's feelings on purpose because the cut doesn't want to do what you want them to do because they are entitled to their feelings every human being has feelings and they and every one of us are entitled to our feelings no matter what it is at that time and point we are allowed to express what we feel it's part of Being Human and rejecting a child so young that they don't have the understanding concept of why they're being rejected and it's just too like adults for them and it's not right that's not how we should be treating them because their kids and they have a mindset of a child and we as adults have a mindset of adults and we shouldn't treat kids like that their mentality is not equipped for that yet and it's not right to treat them like we should have be kind andcourteous it's not right

[@leannestrong1000]

The only problem is that even people with autism who don't or didn't receive ABA might've received the same message from our parents/guardians, teachers, or other adults in our everyday lives around whom we should feel comfortable being ourselves, that we are not ok just the way we are. Some of these people may sometimes say things like, "you're perfect just the way you are, and I wouldn't have you any other way," or, "you're doing the best you can, and that's all we can ask," but their actions may tell us differently. When you talk to an autistic person (even one whose verbal communication, cognitive skills, and IQ are all within the normal range) about being kind to others, you may (even if unintentionally) be teaching them that their feelings about a person don't matter, and that they (autistic person) must tolerate all behavior from other people, and the vibes they give off as totally normal and acceptable, even when they should not be tolerated.

[@KazaiChan]

Regardless of whether a kid has autism or not, they learn how to behave in their environment based on positive and negative feedback that they get from the important people around them. This is just basic psychology. That's why ABA works. It's not a bad or a good thing. Parents and literally EVERYONE will give them positive and negative feedback. This is what shapes them into the person they'll become. Why not allow them to develop in a way where they get the most opportunities out of life?

[@shauna3742]

I follow a lot of people on the spectrum and no ABA seems to be the consensus.

[@Autmazing]

Definitely. I do know a few who think it might help some people, but less than ten percent.

[@jme2612]

Not sure if you'll see this comment, but would you say ABA would be good as an adult? As in YOU decide to try it out? And not the parent trying to force this on your child? I have a level 2 and level 3 autistic children and we started ABA. I won't mention my child with level 2 because all we did is the evaluation. However, I was brought to believe ABA therapy is the "most important" therapy. Regarding my level 3 child - he's doing PT, OT, and speech. He was thriving in those. Because I was told ABA was incredibly important, I managed to find a place to see my child. I paused his other therapies for this. Less than 2 weeks into ABA I am very skeptical and I emailed his doctor about my concerns. I want my child to understand their body and "learn" about "normal" people, not "be" normal. I want my child to be happy and if Stimming makes them happy I'm ok with that. I honestly don't know what my questions are... I just want what's best and my children are happy and safe. The only real valuable advice I trust are those with autism and their perspectives on the different therapies they've done.

[@raqueldelagarza1056]

Which kind of therapy or approach would you suggest instead of this one?

[@myworldautistic6839]

Excellent video. Thank you for this.❤️

[@josequiroz1355]

Question: anyone willing to share if during aba therapy if problems arise, as any neurological scans or test completed? If so what test were done … thank you Just looking if both qualitative and quantitative data are completed in aba

[@ThomasO-mo9vw]

So, what do i do for my child instead?

[@lizbethlopez8619]

I am an RBT and I will never understand how no one ever reports the practitioners for the strategies that are being used. There are new studies that go over concerns and recommendations. Things are changing and I always love watching videos of individuals who have ASD. My company does NOT use punishment even though science proves that when used with reinforcement, it is more effective. We do not use edibles as reinforcement and they have access to food at all times, most of the times we respect the schedules parents want for their kids. Leaf et al., (2021) Goes over concerns and recommendations in the field.

[@lizbethlopez8619]

Also, My company follows assent and does not punish when kids show assent. Truth is, yes ABA helps children tolerate working, but if you have plans on placing your kids in schools , how are they supposed to succeed? Aba offers 1:1 assistance. Most schools do not have the resources or training to help children with ASD. ABA does work on parent training so they can work on the same skills at home. I really would recommend reporting companies to the BACB if you ever witness something unethical like she mentioned in the video.

[@josequiroz1355]

😮 I didn’t know this style of psychological method was being used (someone has access to all your wants) ! Coming from personal dependency issues , yeah I would ask for supporting or supplemental therapy to help your kid develop their own “self” and choices.

[@永井健一郎-v8j]

Autistic person who went through ABA. Now I'm having to "rediscover" who I am. Nobody should ever put their children through that.

[@mysticalwolfakela4131]

What are the alternatives to ABA? My 2yr old gets ABA therapy. My son does things his own way and gets upset when he is corrected. He learns things that he has been taught but when he finds a way to do it differently that's the way he will be doing it. To me I see a little difference. No new words or sounds. He won't focus enough to use flash cards or to mimic sounds.

[@quang922]

TBH, i feel like most people who criticize ABA Therapy do not offer any alternative that have the same amount of evidence. At the same time, they would rather have the ASD person not live to thier fullest potential. Everything about ASD is unfair. Its unfair to the one affected, and unfair to the parents. The world is built for NT folks. I feel like ABA will give the ASD child the best chance to succeed in a world that is not built for them. To be fair, this world is not built for even alot of people, but either we adapt or get left behind. FWIW, many people ive spoken to seem to support modern-day ABA. Im sure there are instances where the child is put in an uncomfortable position. Guess what? NT children has to go trough this in real life. Its better for the ASD to learn how to deal with this in a controlled setting where the parent have ultimate authority.

[@Stettafire]

​@@quang922That's such bullshit. I was diagnosed and I earn 40k a year and live in my own house I bought with my own damn money. Take your shit out of here you ableisy discriminatory dickhead!

[@rachelle8534]

@@quang922this is gross. So life just makes autistic people “a little bit uncomfortable”? There is so much ableism in your comment. Get to know some actual autistic people. Most autistics who are trying to educate about ABA don’t actually have a chance to give the alternatives because the person is not open to hearing. If you actually are open to hearing, you can see my other comment above.

[@heidibroussard2815]

I am doing speech therapy and occupational therapy in combination with one another. Speech therapy for communication and occupational therapy to help with sensory integration. My daughter (diagnosed ADHD, with suspected ASD, getting an evaluation soon) was going into a full burn out in school and is now able to regulate better in high intensity sensory environments. It’s a work in progress but she is able to express herself and develop a healthy identity.

[@nyecore]

The problem is that there aren’t many alternatives but you have to decide when ABA is not helpful. My son was in ABA for 3 years and it was good until he outgrew ABA then it became harmful because they were trying to get him to comply when he was feeling anxious and stressed which caused more harm. I switched him to a CBT based play therapy and this really helped him for emotion regulation. If you feel like your child needs more emotion regulation skills I would try play therapy, art therapy, music therapy or occupational therapy. For more high functioning kiddos DBT and ACT therapies are helpful as well. Everything doesn’t work for everyone and a lot of times these therapies are not readily available. I’m an autistic BCBA and both of my boys are autistic as well and both of them aren’t in ABA because CBT based play Therapy works better for them at this stage they are in and I’ve worked with kids that after the outgrow ABA but still need emotional support, I refer them to other types of therapies that I mentioned above.

[@chrisobrien6254]

Well said, thank you.

[@averlinbc5680]

I’m autistic and I remember one instance as undiagnosed kid before I was 12. I took the clarinet as an after-school activity for months even though I didn’t understand how to play the clarinet and no one realise that. I just sat there pretending as everyone else played around me …. Because I didn’t want to lose that sense of being part of something if ABA is anything like that…. they’re not, going to know how it’s really making them feel deep in side.. looking back I understand that it made me feel deeply sad and lonely. No one realised I couldn’t play…….if someone had gave me attention it meant everything even the Manufactured kind. ABA is worse because ND autistic people generally have to deal with the same kind of things eg. masking in daily public life and trying to teach someone to mask at every moment in the day can only make the meltdowns and symptoms worse…

[@mikaelastefkova]

Aww I'm sorry to hear about your experience :((

[@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690]

Thank you for sharing this my 4 yr old daughter is severely autistic and I was thinking she shouldn't be in this type of therapy

[@CarolineCutrer]

No it’s called high support needs not “severe.”

[@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690]

@@CarolineCutrer ok I'm new to this really because my youngest daughter is 4 and got diagnosed with non verbal level 3 asd in 2022 when she was still 3. I'm still learning her . I take her cues. I do understand each child is different with it also. Just like my oldest daughter has type 1 it's been 3 yrs for her. I've learned alot about type 1 diabetes. I can generally help any type 1 child now.

[@CarolineCutrer]

@@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690 I’m a little confused. Are you talking about autism or diabetes . I’m autistic by the way too , but I’m low support needs (not high functioning or mildly autistic). Level three , yes , that is high support needs . (Not severely autistic or low functioning)I prefer to use support needs labels over functioning labels , as they more accurately describe the autistic person’s needs without being ableist . There is also a medium support needs (in between me and your daughter).

[@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690]

@@CarolineCutrer I have 2 daughters. My oldest is a type 1 diabetic. My 4 yr old daughter is the level 3 autism. Was just saying I have 2 kids with 2 different things. I get what your saying. Thank you for the info. I am going to put my autistic daughter in cyber school most likely. I know she can't sit through a kindergarten class for 8 hrs a day

[@barbarahill8019]

What kind of therapy might you suggest for someone who engages in severe self-injury? What has your research shown is effective to remediate that?

[@sarahboyle5165]

Thank you for sharing this. It’s so upsetting how ubiquitous ABA is in the US.

[@danastafford7264]

I babysit a child that goes to ABA, often when asked the Dad what he wants because the mom is absent, it’s “no” doesn’t do nothing with him just barks at him put your clothes on not tag in the back teaching hi at home, it’s so frustrating as a babysitter to watch this ABA, act as if I can’t get him there at 2:30 you sit in the parking lot even though a minute before you can’t come in what? I’m fixing to quit babysitting this child because these ppl are crazy!! Im the only steady in this child’s life! The grandmother and dad need help I’m up to my eyeballs with these ppl!! They won’t teach him at home but let someone else teach him!! Wrong wrong wrong!!!!!!!

[@soilaossorio3099]

That’s weird, my daughters BT don’t do any of this, she gets what she wants if she says please, and doesn’t get ignored for her tantrums they have her express her feelings and if she’s angry they teach her coping skills never ignoring. She went from non verbal to verbal, they allow her to choose what she wants to work with and they go from there.

[@pdove1630]

As a neurotypical I was a very compliant child from an authoritative parent, as an adult I didn’t know my likes, my preferences, I was too agreeable, even ended up in a DV relationship, ABA is dangerous

[@tonyscybercenter1781]

So what are parents supposed to do? As a father of an autistic son, I just want things to be “normal”. So if aba is so bad, what other options do I have treatment?

[@amandamandamands]

Speech therapy if they need help with that, OT's are fantastic and there are some other therapy types that are starting to have some good research behind them. Also you need to let go of normal, every person is an individual regardless of if they are NT or ND so every person is going to act/behave differently in different situations. Also try and work out if he has sensory issues so that you can put supports in regarding those (common ones are that things are too noisy, clothes fabrics (especially tags) and having issues with smells/textures of food)

[@MelanieHutton]

Isn't the quote from Ivan Lovaas what we can compare the newborns and growth of children to? Autistic children are misunderstanding the outside world and this may possibly help then to fit in.

[@brianfoster4434]

this made me cry

[@ckperkolate]

All I hear is no ABA but no alternatives to what can help. What are the alternatives?

[@jadesingleton4110]

There are plenty. DIR/floor time for one.

[@Stettafire]

Speech and language therapy. Get a proper speech and language therapist with experience working with autism. They can help teach a child to communicate by making it fun. No ABA involved

[@amandamandamands]

OTs are great, I was diagnosed as an adult and the first thing my OT did was work out a sensory profile for me, helped me work out that I do have sensory issues and got supports put in place for them, also taught me about interoception and proprioception and how for autistic people there will quite often be differences in recognising the cues that the body gives you.

[@valentina2904]

Pardon my french, but fucking hell they're not animals - this training of autistic children is wrong! So wrong. Thanks for making this video - your whale story is exactly what was being done to the little girl - it is completely unethical to ignore a child. And, the idea of treating autism I disagree with - people are born this way. It isn't something you treat. You can help and support the development of life skills - but you do not treat the autism out of the child. I am very much into Maria Montessori's approach of putting children with special needs into an environment with first and foremost acceptance, and kindness. Thanks for sharing your experience.

[@dianariano8993]

Thank you. This video has been very helpful

[@geovanascalia8187]

Yeah I’ve been told to give my son a snack for a reward and I refuse to do that. I do not want him to have a bad relationship with food.. that’s something that I struggle with so why would I ant that for my son

[@makeupisamber]

I just started doing ABA and I was terrified I was going to be forced to try to do these kind of things to kids and all I want is to care for kids and help them process emotions The clients I’ve worked with are all natural based therapy the kid does what they want and I play with them Working on learning what sharing is, cleaning up their toys, understanding the difference between different emotions and what they might mean and feel and come from A lot of was is technical in ABA is what preschool teachers and elementary school teachers do I’ve worked in those schools and working with kids come with teaching instruction To say we train kids emotions is crazy Maybe some techs do But I know I don’t at all When my client gets upset because they don’t want to share I ask her what she is feeling and what I can do to help and what does she need in that moment Sometimes it’s just she wants a couple more minute with the toy before she lets me try or she wants me to share but she doesn’t know how to express I know there’s bad ABA I just want to say as for myself I know I’m doing good things with her I’m not doing things for the sake of the kids being “good” for their parents some parents want more change and for their kid to obey them But almost 99% of the time it’s all about the parents and the parenting If parents just expressed more to their kids and shared more experiences with them they might actually realize their kids make a change without ABA

[@cassandragarcia2581]

My youngest son is in ABA 5 hours a week. I can only speak on my behalf when I say I am not trying to make my child "normal." Unfortunately, my son had been receiving two seperate therapies for both speech and play therapy where the providers just dropped him suddenly. Honestly, we feel like they dropped him because they didnt want to damage their "success rate" and thought it would just be easier to let him go. I dont see the world through rose tinted glasses anymore since having children, especially since having my youngest. One said he was too severe for them to help him and the other hinted at it and said play therapy would not be beneficial for him. Both said our kid needed more ABA. Our son now gets OT in school and Speech Therapy and we take him to a private speech therapist as well. Natural Environment Teaching is what I prefer but I think the main emphasis should be generalizing learning and maintaining skills. ABA will not be effective if children are memorizing answers for treats/rewards. I think it is important as parents to also know our children's sensory preferences such as auditory, visual, tactile, vestibular, and proprioceptive, so they feel comfortable in their body. We are working on adding "No" and "Yes" options on our sons AAC device as well in addition to the folders of highly preferred items, places, and people we have in there. We also have a bulletin board in the living room for emotions Sad, Happy, and Mad with their corresponding ASL signs.

[@laurenwegner6634]

I feel this same way! I’ve been an RBT now for about 3 months and I love every second of it ❤ our clinic is very open and the parents are very involved. We use positive reinforcement; not negative. I’m sure ABA can be dangerous when implemented by people who are not in it for the right reasons and use negative reinforcement…at our clinic those kids are everything. We are there for THEM. I truly love each and every kid I help and just want to see them thrive is any and every way they can ❤

[@laurenwegner6634]

Also we heavily focus on teaching ALL the kids how to express AND acknowledge/recognize their thoughts and feelings…we teach them to own them and how to manage them. Working there has honestly helped ME cope with my own emotions

[@Belgaer]

Giving a kid a cupcake to reinforce, in essence, self-harm, is abuse in most parts of the world. But if it's to correct "behavior problems", it's somehow in their best interest. That seems awfully convenient. It's no coincidence that parents in support of it always talk about the ways they personally have benefitted from it, often framing it as if they are speaking for their child. It's also worth noting that the child they're speaking about is often right there and they act like there's no point in speaking to them. Just because a child (or anyone) is non-speaking and not looking at you doesn't mean you're wasting your breath because they're in their own world. Most parents will do this while the kid shows evidence of being aware he/she is been spoken to/about. I imagine the kid would, in fact, have meltdowns or be quickly frustrated. I can hardly imagine the child's frustration, because after just a moment of watching it, I'm also visibly frustrated. Those parents also love making signs for their kids to hold up about how ABA works. I bet it does.

[@sitikhodijah-ni5wn]

I've watched the video and read literally all the comments. It seems to me not only the ABA practices in the United States or perhaps other western countries too are problematic, but your Healthcare system is also problematic that they only cover ABA Therapy and I read somewhere, sometimes you have to wait for months or even years to get listed to the facility. It's not like that here. Some people might say if it's good then it's not ABA, that sounds ignorant for me. This ABA Therapy isn't always covered by insurance (private or government insurance), or you can literally choose not to use insurance if you're privileged enough to cover the bills on your own. There are subsidized units too. We have other options like speech therapy, messy play therapy, occupational therapy, sensory integration, depends on which area of the kids development we want to increase or to help them catch up. I haven't put my autistic daughter to a particular ABA Therapy but she's been attending those alternatives and you know what, they adapt ABA method in their speech/sensory/behavioral therapies. The amount of hours really depends of the child's readiness or if she really needs more in that specific area. And actually I've been eyeing on an ABA center, been there too, the environment, the approach, I would say is much more ethical. They get recess every 45 minutes, they can do whatever they feel comfortable to do, they can play on her own in a play room, they can play at the outdoor playground, they can eat their snack that their parents provide in the bag, they can socialize with their autistic peers if they want to, all of these are supervised by their therapist. And I can assure you, it's ABA, it's literally written that it's an ABA center. Just because it sounds good doesn't mean it's not ABA. And you can choose to pay with insurance if it's really covered, or not. For me as a mom to an autistic child, I feel like it's much more ethical because they can experience what the world is, where they play and learn at the same time, but they can still be themselves. And that's not the only ABA centers I know that mostly use play therapy in their centers.

[@sitikhodijah-ni5wn]

And by the way, they don't have to go thru a 40 hours a week of therapy. The centers I know, they attend three hours a day of ABA Therapy, 15 minutes recess every 45 minutes and 5 days a week. Just like school

[@HappyHoney41]

This is how I was raised.

[@elljay7111]

and you must have lived a very privileged life. thank goodness for that. however, for the rest of the real world, where punishment, neglect, unfair circumstances, trauma victims become nonverbal; all this happens without any dd's and the children become ??? parents of aba therapy recipients care enough that their loves are hurting inside and unable to communicate and ABA assists them in finding a voice, among a myriad of other assets.

[@Autmazing]

The sad thing is that parents of children put in ABA think they’re doing what’s best for their child, while making them more vulnerable to abuse and putting them in a situation that has been proven again and again to cause trauma. But let’s not talk about that, right? Because it makes them more compliant and knowing the long term ramifications is really uncomfortable for the people who love to shove it down our throats. Yes, autistic children may benefit from different supports than their peers. No, ABA is not the answer. Causing long term trauma is not the answer. Even when it’s hard and uncomfortable for parents. History will not look kindly on ABA. We’re already seeing that. You may want to rethink being an apologist for it.

[@julialaynemcclain1562]

Plus then all the natural joy regarding special interests gets tainted w the trauma of the underlying manipulation of the relationship that is emotionally linked to the special interest the paired adult has control of access to. I kept hearing about this but never knew why people were so infuriated about it. Yikes it is extreme.

[@johndoe-mm6xu]

Excellent review.

[@Deliverychixx]

Ty for this ❤

[@leannestrong1000]

The worst part is that we don't even treat dogs like this. Yes, we do teach dogs respond to commands such as, "sit," "stay," "come," "lay down," "leave it," "drop it," and only offer a treat or other desired item once the dog complies with the given command. However, we don't demand that a dog learn to tolerate being petted, or at the very least to verbalize, "don't pet me."

[@jasminiordanescu3682]

What do people who have had ABA as kids and are now older think about it? Did Sadie have ABA?

[@Autmazing]

Every person I know who had it hated it. Many have CPTSD. The only person I’ve spoken to who had it who wasn’t entirely against it spoke about how they lost all interest in the things they enjoyed doing, but allowed that it might help others. But the vast majority are pretty vocal that it’s terrible. Sadie wasn’t diagnosed until she was eleven, and the one reason I’m thankful for that is because it meant she didn’t have to go through it too.

[@Autmazing]

There are nonverbal people who use other methods of communication who are able to communicate and they’ve said the same. Just because my ten year old doesn’t verbally tell me something doesn’t mean that the words she says with her aac device are less worthy. And neurotypicals certainly aren’t able to better understand what we experience. Verbal ability isn’t linked to other parts of the autistic ability. My very verbal kid has the worst sensory avoiding sensitivities I’ve seen. People should have basic human rights that include not being subjected to this sort of abuse.

[@jasminiordanescu3682]

@@Autmazing To quote Stephen Shore, "If you’ve met one individual with autism, you’ve met ONE individual with autism." And ABA attempts to offer a standardized treatment for everyone. Simply not possible. The question is, for which profiles can it work, and how detrimental could it be for those that don´t fit the profile. Thanks a million for your blog.

[@Autmazing]

See I don’t believe anyone should be subjected to this sort of abuse, regardless of their neurotype. Just like no one should be electrocuted for misbehaving. As I stated in the video the effectiveness of the method doesn’t mean it’s ethical. Do some people behave better if they’re terrified of being beaten if they do the wrong thing? Probably. Does that make it right? No.

[@jasminiordanescu3682]

@@Autmazing I absolutely agree about some very questionable methods used in the name of ABA, but other simple methods, such as reward denial, may be more acceptable in that it is a structured version of what neurotypical kids would experience in their lives. Did Maggie experience any therapy that you didn´t like?

[@julialaynemcclain1562]

Awesome thank you so much

[@julialaynemcclain1562]

And whenever a social @reward” is tied to the intent to dominate or manipulate esp w financial motive, it’s already a corrupt context no matter how well intended. It’s manipulative and clearly a form of interpersonal violence.

[@victoryartist1641]

Help a child with a behavior is understanding why a child behaves. It is also helping them communicate there needs. The ABA I have seen starts there as their foundation.

[@commonsense7793]

seems aba treats kids like dogs... dogs can't understand the idea of "love bombing" they're just obedient... This is NOT good... I didn't know what all aba entails, but watching this explanation has opened my eyes. I have an appointment with Caravel Autism Center and they use ABA Therapy and I wasn't all sure, people say it's effective but not all what is involved... Thank you for this and now I can make a crucial decision for my son... he's only 4 this type of interaction is something would ruin him in the long run =/

[@theironfox2756]

ABA being the only evidence based method isn't true. In 2016 Active Musical Therapy studies shows how many on the spectrum end up greatly increasing the quality of life for those on the spectrum. Learning music helps with: short term memory, aggression control, (that part was proven), selective attention, and sensory perception. (heavily evidenced). After that, you have theatre therapy. That improves communication. These therapies actually improve neuro connections in the brain that may be tenuous or underdeveloped due to their particular autism.

[@nyecore]

The problem is that there aren’t many alternatives but you have to decide when ABA is not helpful. My son was in ABA for 3 years and it was good until he outgrew ABA then it became harmful because they were trying to get him to comply when he was feeling anxious and stressed which caused more harm. I switched him to a CBT based play therapy and this really helped him for emotion regulation. If you feel like your child needs more emotion regulation skills I would try play therapy, art therapy, music therapy or occupational therapy. For more high functioning kiddos DBT and ACT therapies are helpful as well. Everything doesn’t work for everyone and a lot of times these therapies are not readily available. I’m an autistic BCBA and both of my boys are autistic as well and both of them aren’t in ABA because CBT based play Therapy works better for them at this stage they are in and I’ve worked with kids that after the outgrow ABA but still need emotional support, I refer them to other types of therapies that I mentioned above. One of the problems I have with my field is that a lot of BCBAs don’t know when to refer out and don’t always try to figure out why the child is engaging in that behavior and teaching then how to advocate for themselves in a safe way and honoring and/or acknowledging their self advocacy.

[@EmilyKranichfield]

I understand the comments here but not all ND kids are the same. Most times with my son, the only way to stop meltdowns is to completely ignore him, he doesn't want to be comforted, actually that often escalates the behavior into being aggressive and will push any comfort away, give him some time and he regulates himself. How often do we as parents also bribe our kids into doing things? If you do this you get this? If you do your chores, you can watch your favorite show? If you do your homework you can play? Also my son learns best through repetitive actions, doing the same thing over and over until he gets it down. Doesn't schools try to dictate the best response by repetition and some type of reward system like grades or stickers? When shadowing a Special ed class, it was always some type of bribery to get the kids to do their work and sitting down and doing repeated tasks I don't see how this is any different than a school setting. If a ND kid doesn't learn a task in school 9/10 that task will be repeated until they do learn it. Unfortunately masking is something that will be learned all the way through peer pressure or just society. If my kid throws something at his sister or hurts her yes there are consequences despite his autism, also Unfortunately most times I will have to repeat the consequences such as a time out or taking a toy away until he does get that actions bring consequences. I dont agree with the verbal reprimand of saying bad kid, the phrase is off. However I would understand something like thats bad to do if it endangers others or themselves. Should we just let Timmy or Sally throw a toy at another kid and not have any consequences for their actions? Yes validate thier feelings but recognize that schools or any educational institutions will "make" kids do repeated tasks and give rewards for correct behaviors.

[@rachelle8534]

So your reason for supporting abuse is that it’s a strategy used in other areas where adults dominate kids? Instead of questioning why it’s ok for adults to dominate kids.? That clearly makes ABA safe and appropriate 😢 There is a difference between knowing and respecting a persons sensory needs (needing to be alone when in meltdown vs needing someone with you to help you calm down) and using that information to get a child to act like you want them to. Autistic people are routinely and deliberately overwhelmed to get them to give up and comply with what the person in power deems as “right”. That IS abuse. To your second point, you are still stuck in power dynamics and behaviourism. You don’t need to parent that way. Schools don’t either but that is a whole other discussion… You don’t need to *make* people do something. Even very young humans can make their own decisions about what is important to them. They also can have conversations with adults when the have adults concerns (for example if the child is engaging in a behaviour that could put themselves or others in danger.) Kids are not sub human. Talk to them!! If you are trying to make someone else do something because *you* deem it the right way, check your beliefs first. Is it truly the right way or is that the social norm that you have bought into? Is there truly a proper way to behave or are there *neurotypical* ways to behave? Is it just what everyone has to do in life or is that your internalized ableism? Now if the human (autistic or not) in front of you is having a hard time, and you use negative or positive reinforcement to get them to stop the behaviour or to be a “good boy” or a “good girl”, you are missing the most important lesson you could ever teach someone. You are missing teaching them that they have an unmet need, and that people who care about them will actually help them address that need. And eventually they internalize that they have needs and that they can anticipate and address their own unique needs. That is lifelong empowerment. Instead, behaviourism teaches that person that they are bad, too much, too sensitive, too loud, mean, disruptive, rude, unlovable or any other word that you have attached to that behaviour *unless* they appear like everyone else and comply with those in power…. And those words become a persons internalized sense of self. Do you want to build people up for life or do you want to tear them down?

[@nyecore]

@@rachelle8534 there has to be a balance. Self advocacy and expressing emotions are very important. Teaching alternative behaviors other than unsafe behaviors are important to get needs met. There are also appropriate behaviors. If I’m at the restaurant and I want the waiters attention, it’s best to say excuse me than to throw something at them or scream. That’s abusive and also a crime. Our school systems are failing now partly because we have removed all consequences for misbehavior. I agree that teaching someone to ignore their feelings is damaging but also not teaching them alternative ways to get needs met is also harmful for them and others around them. In order for everyone to feel safe, heard and respected, it takes a little give and take and compromise. It’s the adults responsibility to guide children. Yes giving children choices and reasoning is important but guidance to make wise choices are needed as well. There are decisions that adults have to make for children because they aren’t mature enough to dictate every decision for their lives.

[@Riddickisawesome101]

@@nyecoresure, kids can’t make every decision for themselves because of their comprehension level, but if something is going wrong,like if the child doesn’t like the behaviorist, then that child shouldn’t have to see them. Children should have as much say over their lives as possible, depending on how much they comprehend. Not only in American culture but in most cultures in general, children are treated as the property of their parents as they scream into the void to be treated better. This needs to change. We need a system overhaul. And people don’t just throw things for the hell of it. They do it because they have an unmet need. A good society ensures those needs are met. It is a collective effort we must all take part in to make sure the most vulnerable amongst us are happy and safe and loved

[@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193]

Oh I absolutely agree that a kid should have consequences if they're hitting people and throwing toys at them. The problem comes when you start punishing them for their traits that aren't harming anybody, such as stimming. Also, I wish they'd teach us to regulate our emotions better rather than just punishing us. I had some whopper meltdowns as a kid. I didn't get violent, but I could literally scream so loud that the neighbors could hear me, and they probably thought I was being killed. They thought I was being a brat because I wasn't getting my way, but that wasn't it at all. I would have loved for the adults in my life to have taught me strategies to be able to calm down before I had a meltdown, but instead, all they cared about was stopping me from stimming.

[@amandamandamands]

So cool, you child doesn't like being comforted during a meltdown, you didn't mention doing anything to intervene before it gets to a meltdown as it is rare that there aren't some warning signs if you know what you are looking for. You might want to look into NeuroWild's content (Instagram, Facebook, website), Em is late diagnosed AuDHD with 3 AuDHD children and is very against stickers/reward charts. She is also a speech pathologist. The way that you are talking about repetition regardless and just doing what I have said isn't really that different to ABA, so cool if you are comfortable using a methodology that has a high rate of giving people PTSD, means that they supress their gut feelings and means that they are more likely to be manipulated and abused, you do you.

[@carbonsketches1464]

I imagine that a young autistic person needs tons of time uninterrupted so that they can explore their worlds in ways that are natural to them. To hear that their days are wasted learning to mask ever and ever deeper sounds very destructive to me.

[@courtneyodo]

Your love bombing analogy and method of learning through control is how many neurological individuals are raised. Neurotypical kids get things taken away all of the time from teachers and parents. Taking away love is not the answer, but there are many boundaries that MUST be set with kids with autism. I work with very low functioning autistic kids and to take away toys and things they love is perfectly okay in my opinion. Also ice cream is given to neurotypical kids as well as a positive reinforcement. The only part of this video I agree with is the emotional manipulation and use of the words good and bad.

[@CarolineCutrer]

You are such a horrible person!! Taking away an autistic person’s toy is taking away a basic human need!!! You don’t understand!!! And they’re not “low functioning ;” functioning labels do not exist and they are problematic and harmful to the autistic community! They are high support needs and they need to be respected, cared for and protected!! Not everyone is the same, you horrible messed up abuser !!! You shouldn’t be working with kids , especially not vulnerable disabled kids;they don’t deserve your abuse!!!😡

[@amandamandamands]

Sorry I don't care if the child is ND or NT, why is it OK to take away their comfort item.

[@anthonymurphy2540]

I think for you to say that this program is bad and not compare and contrast another program that parents can access is disappointing. You have parents just that want a relationship with their child. I am glad you have a great relationship with your child.why don’t you get your credentials to offer help to those parents that don’t like ABA.

[@cristianandmama3639]

Uh-Oh! I just realized I unconsciously do this with my child. I give him treats and prizes when he behaves well. What are my alternatives? I don't know another way to convince him to cooperate. By the way I will NOT be putting my child in ABA therapy.

[@Autmazing]

I think most parents do this to an extent, and while I know there are people who would vehemently disagree, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. I think what can make it negative is the extent it’s taken to in ABA. I mean, as an adult I definitely set goals for myself and set little rewards for reaching those goals, and I feel like it helps give me a bit of extra motivation at times. Hope that helps a little.

[@amandamandamands]

The only thing that I can think of is trying to work out why he doesn't want to do the things, is he a PDAer and is overriding that because he wants the treat or is there something about the activity that he really doesn't want to do.

[@sitikhodijah-ni5wn]

I am so confused with all these ABA reviews. Why does it sound so bad in the West? It's not like that here

[@dorajoanne7651]

From an RBT myself, its definitely grooming via manipulation.

[@SqeeG]

Progressive ABA is trying to change this. But then if not ABA, what is your solution to curbing any troublesome behavior from people with special needs?

[@maribeldelacruz5196]

What is the treatment then for autism.. ABA is research based what about yours?

[@Autmazing]

Very loosely research based if you look at the actual studies. I’ve always been extremely uncomfortable when studies are considered to be evidence based when their sample size is in the single digits, and honestly feel that it is a gross misuse of the term to call ABA evidence based. I suggest the TriCare report on ABA that came out in 2019 that showed 76 percent of autistic children saw no improvement in behavior and nine percent had worsening behavior. I think it’s also important to look at what ABA focuses on that might cause “improvements.” If all we’re looking for is increased compliance at any cost, including trauma, then I guess you can call that a win. I’ve sat in thousands of hours of ABA. I’m autistic. I’ve raised five autistic children. But yes, attempt to silence my concerns because studies done by people who stood to gain enormously from positive results are considered research in this soft science field.

[@maribeldelacruz5196]

But can you tell me another approach which you think is the appropriate one in treating asd? I have not heard of any treatment that is science based aside from ABA followed by OT and speech therapy..

[@Autmazing]

@maribeldelacruz5196 it might help to not think of our neurology as something that needs to be “treated.” Our kids do OT and speech. They go to school. And then, like other kids, we work to teach them life skills like any other child, when they’re ready. I don’t believe children need forty hours a week of therapy. They need time to be children and to learn and play.

[@amandamandamands]

ABA isn't evidence based, it became the 'gold standard' because it was the first 'successful' treatment option. It is only in recent years when other alternatives now exist that they have started to create 'research' to back it up as people have started asking for it. To date they still don't have any research that would meet gold standard research methodology. They have very small sample sizes, don't have a control group, don't compare to any other therapy etc. Their research is the same as getting your progress report in school, at the beginning of the year you could do X, next report period you can now do X and Y.

[@amandamandamands]

@@maribeldelacruz5196 Why do you need ABA before you do OT and speech, there are also other therapies that are getting good research behind them.

[@Wolfedog]

Wow, this is not the ABA my daughter was in so I don’t know what you are talking about! It sounds like crazy people who eat soybeans lattes.

[@reettaelina]

❤

[@dylpickled]

I clicked so fast!!!

[@Autmazing]

❤️

[@julialaynemcclain1562]

The “pairing” sounds horribly a lot like how abusers “groom” their victims. Yuck.

[@DeltaChimp]

Sounds like grooming behaviour wtf? Get the person addicted and make sure you are the supplier in order to control theyre behaviour and get what they want despite what the other person wants

[@KieraCameron514]

You didn't want her to be cured? So, you didn't want something which isn't possible?

[@Autmazing]

Hi Jessyca. I don't really understand your comment, so if you could clarify that would be great. No, I don't think that autistic people need to be cured. And also no, I don't think that we can be cured. But it's nearly impossible to be oblivious to the fact that there are people in this world who would eliminate autism, and as a result autistic people, at just about any cost. And that's why I mention it in videos like this one. Because a not insignificant portion of the "autism parent" community do proclaim to want exactly that.

[@MrMooAndMoonSquirrelToo]

​@@Autmazing I could be wrong here because I'm autistic too and have a hard time telling these things, but I think Jessyca was making fun of the people who treat autism as a super bad thing that needs to be cured.

[@evil7529]

"it is a lucrative field" please bear that in mind when a child thinks gender can be changed like a tee shirt.

[@Autmazing]

It’s interesting how some people can’t let any important topic stand without trying to tie it in to their favorite talking point. Weird, right?

[@littlelailai]

Aba is like training an animal.

[@derekf9017]

The longitudinal benefit outweighs the stress and cant be discerned sitting there, yet. Its 20 to 40 years from now that results really show chief

[@carlawetherill240]

Lady, your intentions seem good. You need to listen to yourself thou. You are smart and articulated, perhaps thanks to ABA trainning you went through...however, you need to understand that when you voice out an opinion about something that can give quality of life and hope to a family, you need to base your reasons to not support. Your video does not sustain any reason for disregarding ABA as a proper choice for a family. in fact you confirm that ABA is "effective"!!! You making this video proves that. You are voicing your opinion on something very sensitive and important, using all your emotions only. I am sorry your ABA therapist could not help you with that, which is called responsability.

[@baileywilson4814]

Thank you for sharing your experience with ABA. I think more ABA professionals need to take the time to listen to the feedback of individuals with Autism and evolve their practice standards accordingly. I admire the strength, time, and vulnerability that it takes to share your life and opinion regarding ABA. Watching your video's and listening to your story and experience, I am very supportive of your decisions to end ABA. Parents know their children best and I commend anyone who has the strength to stand up for what they feel is best for their family. After watching your videos and reading the comments, it's disappointing to see that so many individuals are against ABA. I don't intend to insult or minimize your experience in anyway, but I feel compelled to inform those who are watching your videos, and/or reading the comments, that there is a lot of misinformation being spread here. I challenge those who are researching or considering ABA to continue to strongly vet their service providers, advocate for their loved ones, and have the strength to walk away when something doesn't feel right with those influencing your loved ones with Autism, or you. ABA, like biology, chemistry, physics, etc., is a science. Just like applying chemistry in the wrong way can harm individuals affected by it (i.e., poisoning, bombs, etc.), ABA can do the exact same. Behavior analysis is the science of all living organisms, this is why it's often so commonly misunderstood as dog training. Just as the law's of physics work, so do the concepts of behavior analysis. The misconceptions and controversy surrounding the science, is largely due to its state of infancy. Early medicine practices made similar mistakes (i.e., trepanation, bloodletting, etc.) trying to get to the life saving measures that are in place now. For example, Julius Wagner-Jauregg won a Nobel prize for his discovery of the therapeutic value of malaria inoculation, but a lot of people died. This is an outdated therapeutic treatment that contributed immensely to advancing the research for other life saving measures. Lovaas, similar to Wagner-Jauregg, has outdated methods but also contributed to the research of this science today. More effective treatments and interventions have been established following his research and approach working with individuals with Autism. Similarly, George Rekers and Ivar Lovaas conducted conversion therapy, that was extraordinarily harmful to LGBTQ+ individuals as well. The science of ABA has long since evolved away from these harmful practices, and those using it wrong continues to cause harm to others or may 'mask' characteristics. ABA can be practiced in a meaningful way that can have tremendous life altering outcomes for the betterment of many people with Autism, and other individuals with neuro-divergent traits. That being said, it can also be practiced inhumanely and incorrectly, ultimately causing more harm to individuals who may be subjected to it. My suggestion is continue to educate yourselves on the outdated interventions still used by some ABA organizations and practitioners today, report them, and continue advocating for you, your loved ones with Autism, your LGBT neighbors, your neuro-divergent loved ones, and stand for the improvement of this practice instead.

[@averlinbc5680]

As an autistic adult ….the problem with a ABA as far as I can tell Is the strong emphasis on compliance and the Lack of teaching any emotional coping skills for autism (Avoiding meltdowns) as most autistic people I know don’t need ABA. Because Society Is constantly trying to make us behave in certain ways and ignores us if we don’t. The reason we mask is about behaviour we have need to exhibit to fit A Neurotypical Standard. It’s been proven that masking does cause depression anxiety and many other mental health problems and it is unavoidable for most of us we don’t need our mental health professionals teaching us it as a treatment. it’s an occupational hazard of living in the world as we do. You’ve stated there are many cases of bad or horrible treatments helping the progression of science. here’s the thing the scientific data of growing up having an autistic brain should only come from Autistic adults and the consensus from us is that ABA doesn’t help autistic people living better lives.. What does is teaching …emotional intelligence /safe stemming/managing Hyper-hypo Sensitivities/boundaries of oneself and others/communication of important information, Medical science came far but it cost a lot lives because people can’t ask diseases and sickness the best way of treating it. But you can ask thousands of autistic people what made their life better or worse growing up. The scientific community hasn’t been doing this yet and that’s the problem.

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

ABA isn’t a science; it’s a pseudoscience. Go back to school and study a real discipline.

[@gilbertlopez2333]

Am an aba therapist and I treat my kids with the best of best. We have fun. And that’s the most important part