r/iamverybadass Top Posts of All Time

[@freduardo7499]

"People in the armed forces, what's the story behind your nickname?" "Blackout. I tend to blackout. ... needless to say, I didn't stay in the military very long."

[@serbianwarcriminal5686]

Freduardo that is genius holy shit thats a 🤠 from me

[@rhorynotmylastname7781]

I'm pretty sure blackout is a transformer

[@sparkz6349]

o o f t i m e

[@prettybigpengus]

"I have very bad anemia."

[@tatumfowler3603]

*What's the commotion?* Old Blackout found some alcohol. *Dang it not again.*

[@elysahatestostudy9364]

"I instinctively analyse physics before I take a step" Buddy that's called depth perception

[@char5285]

Thats called seeing

[@genericname8727]

My mum is blind in one eye, meaning she lacks depth perception, but she still knows how to walk. Even fully blind people (black blind) can still walk. You know you move your legs and the force moves you forward and all that other physics stuff we just instinctively factor in when walking. You literally don’t even need to see to be able to do this lol

[@tristasayers1516]

I like to make sure gravity is working between each step, too. *step* yep, still good *step*

[@probablyjoeyy]

Nice

[@jackleeper6310]

I took it that they analyze and compute complex physics equations with every step to take the most optimal step they can, pretty badass if you ask me

[@genderlesstoast6633]

"I instinctively analys physics before taking a single step" sooooo is he just bragging about being able to walk normally?

[@codenamefirestarter7478]

Worse hes bragging about overthinking walking normally

[@shinypikagaming]

Hmm, if I set down my foot with my foot set at a fifteen degree angle, the momentum of my feet will cancel out on the ground allowing me to obtain proper landing speed for my next step.

[@grellsutcliffe8265]

O O F

[@ambersomething1693]

WizzyDizzyDrawings no he’s bragging about having to think about walking before he takes a single step. If he doesn’t plan the step everything will be haywire

[@genderlesstoast6633]

@@ambersomething1693 same fucking difference tho lol

[@ilikecapybaras6806]

“I dont have fragile masculinity! I-I’ll prove it! I’ll beat up women!”

[@idunnodo1142]

*Y O U A R E P R O V I N G T H E I R P O I N T*

[@oryanstudios2252]

god I hope that was satire

[@genericname8727]

I’ve seen non-satirical comments like this even if this example was satire. I realise as I type this that that’s pretty obvious considering those are the people being satirised but still..

[@oryanstudios2252]

@@genericname8727 to describe that persons tweet, shall we pull another quote from sorrowtv? "Imagine being the exact person a tweet was directed toward and not getting the point"

[@ashleyyang2510]

he hit me with that "broad shoulders, very defined, powerful back(deadlift PR of 505 lbs )"

[@entr3_nou5]

“It’s like he was arguing with himself! ...And he was _winning!_ “ This is such an underrated moment

[@Overdrive1]

And this is an underrated comment.

[@Vioioioio]

@@Overdrive1 and this is an underrated comment

[@Baconator2558]

@@Vioioioio And this is an underrated reply

[@Vioioioio]

@@Baconator2558 Y E S

[@Bob-uh7yn]

666 likes

[@zeromustafa401]

The "Do. Not. Mess. With. Me." Kid looks like he goes to Hogwarts in the My Immortal universe.

[@koffinkiss]

that's the best comment I've ever fucking read on youtube

[@unicorninvader8783]

10/10

[@babywilykit6825]

He goes by Vampire now, you f

[@celestialchronic3572]

Zero Mustafa H

[@Shayman94]

I see you're a person of culture as well :`D

[@CherrygroveCity]

r/iamverysmart's jacked and beefy brother

[@rina7620]

Dio Drando is that the hit or miss girl

[@kalebsantos72]

At the very least he hopes you think he’s jacked

[@missnintendochick]

the brains and the brawn. truly a battle for the ages

[@asbestosfish_]

Dio Drando r/iamverysmart if it was really fucking insecure, you mean.

[@kNo1bdy]

R/niceguy is the weird uncle

[@colasap7367]

"so yeah, ive been majoring in marine biology for a while, what have you been up to jerry" *I'M 6'2, 195 IBS, 10% BODY FAT, BROAD SHOULDERS, VERY DEFINED-* "uh... Jerry?" *POWERFUL BACK, DEAD LIFT OF PR OF 505 IBS, CHEST HAIR-* "we lost him again, here lets go to my place guys, he can pay the bill when hes done" "so sir, is everything doing okay over here-" *man looks directly in waiter's eyes * *FULL THICK BEARD, VEINY FOREARMS, PROTRUDING AND DEFINED JAW LINE-* *waiter slowly backs away * *man stands up, flexes, shirt turns to ash * *AND THE MAJORITY OF MY WARDROBE IS MADE UP OF DRESS SHIRTS!* "sir im going to have to ask you to leave" ... ... "exuce me?" "yes, sir?" *I'M 6'2, 195 IBS, 10% BODY FAT-*

[@bigsmoke5234]

He sounds like he is selling a car

[@vibecheck9266]

I read that in Heather Swanson's voics

[@jayive34]

Is that a Jojo reference?

[@bigsmoke5234]

@@jayive34 shut the fuck up Please ... shut the fuck up

[@potatoslayer5963]

@@bigsmoke5234 no

[@secrfidr]

I THOUGHT THE GUY AT 3:28 WAS TALKING ABOUT BATS THE ANIMAL NOT BATS THE WEAPON I WAS SO CONFUSED

[@Sam_Markley]

THAT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE

[@snosibsnob3930]

Wait HE WASNT TALKING ABOUT THE ANIMAL

[@julianmarquez7962]

I think he might actually be a Batman villain.

[@emilinebelle7811]

Dude. Totally thought he was talking about the night birds until I saw your comment.

[@poopcatapult2623]

Sabine Lesher me too man

[@YetAnotherGeorgeth]

“Don’t text Samantha again!” If this is the same Samantha that’s in r/nicegirls then I don’t think ANYONE should text her!

[@gonloburdee111]

Fetch me their souls

[@ariejohnson1944]

@@gonloburdee111 ok

[@callmeanon660]

SHHHHHH, you'll summon her back

[@screamindog8772]

DONT SAY HER NAME

[@neksnek2032]

FOOL! YOU'VE ALERTED HER TO OUR PRESENCE! OUR DEMISE IS IMMINENT!!!

[@cumbrap]

Little known fact: quadriplegic people have to tie their legs down to their wheelchairs or else they try to run away and find more suitable hosts.

[@rarrar9257]

It's the goat!

[@justinholt7059]

Get out of here nerd

[@pk2_637]

When I read this comment I half-expected to be earraped by the Harry Potter theme.

[@bababhu5934]

DIGBY LIKES GIO?!?

[@KazerOnYoutube]

He's got a point...

[@papermonkeyminer8116]

"Strong" people bragging about their bench press /deadlift capacity is like "smart" people bragging about their IQ. They think it's impressive and important, but to the rest of the world it's just numbers that don't mean anything.

[@lordfelidae4505]

I do well in school and have managed a few AP classes. I don’t have any idea what my IQ is. Cause it doesn’t matter.

[@Hypie582]

@@lordfelidae4505 humble smart people are true smart people.

[@Hypie582]

@@lordfelidae4505 so you're smart :D

[@Paralellex]

I can dead-lift over 200 IQ points

[@davidpaul6290]

Eh, that’s not necessarily true. What someone deadlifts is usually a good indicator of how strong they are, IQ isn’t inclusive to, “smarts”.

[@kieranschafer5180]

*After you go to the gym once*

[@yarg.]

*After you push Timmy off the swing set in the playground*

[@brendanrisney2449]

"Yo, don't fuck with me. I bench 105!"

[@frosteryoutube1551]

I am the 666th likers lmao

[@countgrishnackh73]

@@brendanrisney2449 "I'll break your tiny arms"

[@bLuLi0N]

I don't think being a 13 year old with horrible acne and a scraggly beard like a 16 year old, who hates being alive and is anxious about the future like a 25 year old is something to brag about

[@pmc614]

*_weird flex but okay_*

[@stankyleg7094]

Im a kid and I hate when kids try so hard to act older than they are they just look silly and wannabe condescending.

[@spritziii9185]

@@stankyleg7094 Look at the newer generations, Girls dress up like Hookers casually walking down the street.

[@rizwandiawalludien4048]

I WAS such kid. I was both this and r/iamverysmart.

[@CutieNatane]

@@spritziii9185 girls can dress how they want?

[@Slipfox_xyz]

Lol, about timestamp 4:20, blackout is the nickname given to people who pass out during physical training Edit: please stop this isn't what I want to be known for

[@weevilwizarddotmusic9711]

Dead

[@ommlettuce3137]

*obligatory nice*

[@a_puntato29]

Nice

[@baitred6290]

Nice

[@brown1482]

Nice

[@poppokonanachan]

"I've come to a conclusion, bats don't do shit to me" Well, that didn't age well.

[@PPMN-su7pr]

exactly what i thought

[@karla3153]

*They're going to, now*

[@kimifw58]

?

[@selinesbeau]

I thiught they meant of the baseball variety. Whoosh moment?

[@bruh......2005]

@@kimifw58 covid bruh....

[@chrystianvalentyne8810]

Anybody that uses the term "go full rage mode" has never been in the military.

[@cramdrg]

Yeah they probably just play fucknite or phantom forces and think they're hot shit

[@alarictheredboi276yearsago4]

*Stands up for rage mode* *Gets shot through chest 5 times*

[@ibavider]

TIME TO GO FULL RAGE MODE- *Shot 78 times, stabbed 9 times in the skull, hit with a shovel and blown up with a bazooka.*

[@raaston9761]

i use pissed the fuck off when i get really mad

[@space3817]

@@cramdrg ah I see you try and sound cool by using a word to insult a video game

[@TRexRAWWR1]

if you own a katana and complain about being called a weeb...you're a weeb. Edit: I'm a cosplayer, ig I'd be called a weeb too lmao

[@trashcant1522]

I support this

[@DeprecatedSC]

What about if your dad owned a katana or two, and died and you inherited them? Asking for a friend, totally

[@trashcant1522]

@@DeprecatedSC Why would your dad won a katana?

[@DeprecatedSC]

@@trashcant1522 because he was obbessed with swords, we restricted him to one or two dull ones (so it would be legal) and he got two katana's. They are used as decorations now but they are capable of being used if you sharpened them right. I don't know where the obbession came from, he had it before i was born

[@trashcant1522]

@@DeprecatedSC Does he complain about being called a weeb?

[@tilaNmanx]

"Broken metal doors with my skull" That explains it

[@Mark-xw5yt]

Lmfao

[@waffleauflauf4213]

When Sorrow was reading it, I was secretly hoping the guy would say "broken things with my face" lol

[@energymischiefbear1001]

I think the brain damage made him flip the words...

[@omarcasillas6188]

Only believable thing in that post considering he thought people would believe it

[@davebob8506]

Oof.

[@beeziebubs2756]

People who’ve never been in the military pretending to be in the military: They called me BLACK DEATH SKULL back in the day because I have over 300 confirmed kills and will black out while doing it People who are actually in the military: They call me macaroni because I’m crazy about Mac n cheese Edit: if you’re unaware, if you get a nickname like Red Streak or some other kind of edgy shit, it means everyone in your unit hates your ass. If you get some goody shit, like Dump Truck, it means you’re cool.

[@beefcakesmchunkerson9079]

My dad’s friend was called SodaPop because he said pop instead of soda

[@sbeve_helied]

My dad was called exotic cause hes Hawaiian

[@hogwartsstudent9962]

My dad was called paul lamb because he was invisible

[@isaacthicccheeks3785]

Knowledge from my dad before he passed Fun Fact: Marine experience, They'd only give privates the nickname blackout when they pass out during physical training, which isn't the most uncommon "Wheezer" was also a common one - Love "Iron" (Got it for losing a bet and having to full-force punch a Level III-A plate, He damn near broke a knuckle)

[@jorbore1413]

My dad was called a corpse because he fucking died.

[@wildwolfwitch8226]

Ya hear that ladies? The mans got MOSTLY DRESS SHIRTS.

[@clokeron]

Arrow Azura omg no way i'm getting wet

[@felicitylovesglb]

that post turned me straight

[@juliopadilla2840]

I think I have the Big gay now

[@zyaicob]

_MOSTLY_

[@connoraugh1626]

I'm straight now 😳

[@misterwuss5456]

R/Madlads are the real badasses, because they truly do not care about anything. They are Madlads for the sake of being madlads

[@CC.07]

These people want to be Madlads but are to scared to commit

[@jaxmorris6563]

Mister Wuss right

[@kodiibearv]

caleb.mp5 on instagram is the truest of madlads

[@plasmaticlmao]

Satan thanks Satan

[@ghulam237]

@@CC.07 they say anything tough and make stories about how strong and cool and or smart they are but their just loud mouthed wusses in real life

[@I.Fumblebee.I]

I'm 25, looks 16 and act like a 13 year old.

[@hl8808]

The Fumbler same for me but 6 years off each number

[@ariesstepp763]

@@hl8808 your 31,look 10, and act 7?

[@hl8808]

Aries Stepp 19, look 10, act 7

[@hl8808]

Indra Wicaksono no just a really baby face

[@RedmoonStudiosYT]

I'm 29, look anywhere between 1 and 75, and act like a 16 year old edgy girl. Oh wait that's not me, thats the internet

[@fhagane6821]

I had a classmate at college who *ALWAYS* had a story that was far superior to the one the other person was telling. The best part was that many stories contradicted one another (in one story he was trained by a shaolin monk in Asia for years, but at the same time he was the main counselor for an oil businessman at the age of 16), so when we pointed out the contradictions he would go apesh*t and make a new story that overwrote all the previous ones. I miss that guy.

[@coronavirus1424]

Sounds hella annoying yet fun.

[@timetraveler_from_2012]

How do you know that he wasn't a shaolin oil buisnessman?

[@Tony-tp8yz]

holy shit that sounds amazing

[@SStarry_Days]

I would pay to hear all of em

[@Lucifersfursona]

As someone who got their shit wrecked in a friendship with a pathological liar, not to rain on this but I uh. I do not miss them.

[@Shrimp_Insurance]

I stubbed my toe, while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for 15 minutes

[@thattempleguy6712]

What toe

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

*You don't have any toes, Jimmy.*

[@freyastuchbery7130]

Damn.

[@bkace2198]

Chill down Wolfy, don’t need to scare away the planet with your absolute bad*ssery.

[@karda009]

No need to flex with your spice garden, damn

[@christophergovan2136]

4:27 “blackout”? My mans out here claiming to be a decepticon

[@DemiRurge]

More like he is trying to sound cool but he doesnt know that there is only one Blackout . The decepticon Blackout

[@chinotorres8773]

@@DemiRurge Ahh yes

[@DemiRurge]

@@chinotorres8773 so you are big fan of Blackout or you are Blackout

[@bruhmoment6144]

Blackout probably just blacks out and punches the wall repeatedly thinking he’s hitting someone while his squad members make dying people noises.

[@meme_god5075]

You better stfu before I call Bumblebee on yo ass

[@jaymoon2377]

So many of these people remind me of those kids you met freshman year of high school- the ones that liked to lie about just the weirdest shit in an attempt to make themselves better in the weakest ways possible

[@ThatSwiggityGuy]

I once had a friend who claimed he used to live in russia before he got shot in the foot by a thug. He also claimed he arrived to school in a limo on the first day. This was in grade 6 or 7. Good guy though

[@JuliaMarieH]

I know a guy who basically acted like this who was a freshman..... *in college* 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@jernie9384]

Too accurate

[@loremipsum2237]

I once fought big foot don't mess with me ugh

[@v.mvarga4979]

When i was a kid, i had a friend who claimed to saw 6 people getting decapitated by some monster in a train railroad and him killing it. Gotta give him props for imagination

[@tseye2478]

“I own fighting gloves” Any boxer that knows those are handwraps and not fighting gloves: *A N G E R*

[@meme_god5075]

Gun Owners: *i n t e r e s t i n g*

[@brentsanderson6566]

You should be on this list bro

[@tomjordan6092]

@@brentsanderson6566 that was the joke

[@Author_Paluthor]

Me, having watched Rocky once: Uhhhh

[@alexsm3882]

Thank you

[@mr.fahrenheit3768]

2:42 There's a lot to unpack here. Okay, first, black widow bites aren't always venomous. Most of the time it's just a warning bite. Second, sucking out venom doesn't do shit, neither does it make you a badass. Third, nowhere does it say that Rue acts as an anti-venom. The most it's really used for is to prevent eye strain, stop muscle spasms, or to prevent menstrual problems.

[@jacoblamberson2709]

This means this is a fusion of r/iamverybadass and r/quityourbullshit

[@lelikesbugs]

YOU, GOOD SIR/MA'AM/TREETRUNK, ARE BIG BRAINED

[@Tom-jw7ii]

My guess is that her husband just did that to get her to stop panicking, and it obviously worked.

[@ruki4929]

@@Tom-jw7ii t h e p o w e r o f p l a c e b o ~

[@LUR1FAX]

@@jacoblamberson2709 Most "badasses" are bullshitting anyway.

[@huntzkush]

"You can try take me down, but it's gonna be harder than puttin lipstick on a pig" Yeeehaw

[@zephyruswild638]

Huntz Kushe Subscribe to Pewdiepie

[@smileplease_91]

I'm southern, and this is more southern than me.

[@smileplease_91]

@@zephyruswild638 This might be an r/whooosh moment, but WHY am I seeing this everywhere?

[@kevinm5940]

Kari Solomon I think Pewdiepie is either losing subscribers, or another channel almost has more than him. Either way, he soon won't be the most subbed channel anymore, and his fans want to prevent that, because I guess having the most subscribers is REALLY important for some reason.

[@smileplease_91]

@@kevinm5940 Thanks for the info! I mean, you can't be the #1 channel forever. And while I think he's a pretty good guy, his content annoys me. Because he's always just shouting jibberish and incoherent ramblings. But that's just me.

[@ambersomething1693]

The “future snowflake” one gets me, I play ark and I’m often in a pickle where I’m surrounded by big angry dinos and yeah sometimes I cry

[@Jasonsousvide]

Stoopid, u don’t even realize the dinosaurs aren’t real. Stoopid dumb stoopid

[@thewarhawk8203]

SOMETIMES . YOU CRY IN ARK SOMETIMES WE HAVE A GOD AMOUNG US MORTALS

[@ambersomething1693]

the warhawk one time I was backed into a corner by a spino so I just started punching and by the grace of god I lived just to get killed by a dilo

[@thehorde9462]

Gigas or dilos? Or both? Or maybe add troodons to top it off?

[@ambersomething1693]

the horde sometimes all of them get me really fucking frustrated. It’s the little ones that are the most frustrating. The ones you SHOULD be able to kill but they gang up

[@ajromero3692]

"You do not want to see me outside your window at 3 AM" Pretty sure I don't want to see anyone outside my window at 3 AM

[@RockyPixel]

Me too, especially considering I live on the second floor.

[@louis8487]

What about santie clause :o

[@jokunortti]

"Oh I'm so tough I can drink my coffee without making it taste good."

[@sgtmjames]

he definitely shouldn't brag about muh "manly coffee" but black coffee actually tastes good.

[@jokunortti]

@@sgtmjames Yeah, actually I drink my coffee black too. I don't like milk or sugar in coffee at all.

[@BiratesoftheCaribbean]

I can relate to people not adding anything to their coffee. I don't like coffee if it doesn't have milk and a lot of sugar, Caramel Frappuccinos are my fav, but if you give me tea that's remotely sweet, I won't drink it. It's just habits, we all like thibgs differently, no should think they're superior for their tastes.

[@azse8524]

Well I’m so tough I don’t even drink coffee, take that ya potato salad.

[@_____._..--_]

Im so tough i drink coffee when I was 8

[@wolfiemarie9320]

0:40 I ain't wanna see nobody outside my window at three am

[@sadtitties222]

@Wolfie Marie So true haha! 😁

[@princesstamika]

"ain't wanna" interesting.

[@childeater7327]

Wolfie Marie too bad

[@sheffield1709]

Wolfie Marie what about Lebron James trying to offer you a sprite cranberry

[@goldenvenushiz6004]

@@sheffield1709 hell yeah

[@horseradish877]

"How tough am I? I had a bowl of NAILS for breakfast this morning!" "Yeah so?" "Without any MILK."

[@imprxvised8219]

I'd stay as far away from you as possible. You'd probably flick me with your finger and break 80% of the bones in my body

[@oogabooga620]

Real interation Me: I'll take a milk in a dirty glass Don't cross me 😤🍑🍆🤛🦁

[@goldengifts3830]

Real tough gut here!

[@zakl940]

" how tough am i? I had a piece of metal instead of toast this morning" " yeah so" "without any butter!!!!"

[@tuesdaytue]

@DrKlRd you're the most badass here yet

[@Rozkoprit6334]

I think i speak for most of the arachnofobics here myself included, when i say, thank you for showing a cute spider instead of an actual black widow.

[@5urgical]

agreed, i turned the screen the other way when he even MENTIONED spiders, i even find that cute spider to be somewhat threatening.

[@alexsm3882]

I hated that fucking spider all the same

[@shouko4218]

I hate all spiders, no matter how “cute” they are. That’s not even a sentence that should exist I’m dying inside

[@cherby2736]

spiders are not fucking cute and never will be

[@1FenFen1]

@@cherby2736 and most are harmless. but that doesnt stop them fromlooking scary as shit, though!

[@wardedthorn6523]

"I'm a paid hitman, so I tell everyone about this on Facebook, also, I aparently have nothing to hide." -no hitman who wants to get paid or stay out of prison

[@DapperestDave]

Tierzoo spiders tier list shows that the black widow is a faker

[@patrikg.6320]

No hitman ever would tell to anyone he is a hitman :D I swear some of these people are being dumb

[@wardedthorn6523]

@@patrikg.6320 Well, yeah...

[@patrikg.6320]

@D Zuke Or you know, get gunned down by the person they tried to kill.

[@Aconitum_napellus]

'I'm a hitman, I just haven't got paid yet, or hired, or graduated High school.

[@rosoliwet7568]

i had a bowl of NAILS for breakfast..... *without any milk.*

[@whosmaya666]

*gasp*

[@KrazyKain]

oh yeah? I had my nails WITH milk... and I'm lactose intolerant.

[@jomo5800]

@@KrazyKain Pathetic~! I had a bowl of *bowls and nails* for breakfast with milk past its expiry date!

[@zephyruswild638]

rosoliwet Subscribe to Pewdiepie

[@Peannlui]

Metal nails, or fingernails?

[@roxiep.8996]

I think iamverysmart and iamverybadass are subsets of thathappened

[@Error-lo8fs]

They’re all just DLCs for r/quityourbullshit

[@zephyruswild638]

Ivan Alexandrovich Drubetskoy Subscribe to Pewdiepie

[@wikipedia8193]

That's why we used to sell tgem

[@itzpayday1238]

@Draevon May r/immad

[@extremistgarchomp4950]

Change my mind

[@bobbierays453]

If I was ever given the name “blackout”, it wouldn’t because of me snapping out of reality and going into a full killer mood. I would be called Blackout due to me blacking out from the first few shots of enemy fire.

[@royalblanket]

That's basically what the name means, except it's for blacking out during training

[@SektionEi8ht]

That’s military nicknames/callsigns for you. No one gets a cool one, and even if you do, it’s because the story behind it is super embarrassing. I never actually got into the military, but in ROTC my nickname was “Sparta” because of an embarrassing 30-second rant about how much I hated the movie 300. Your nickname or callsign is always dumb. No exceptions.

[@nmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn]

~ 3:40 I feel so stupid, I thought he meant the animal bats... n I was like "wait why would bats do anything to him? when do you ever come into contact with bats and since when do people think they're really dangerous? pls esplaineee" took me a solid 3 minutes to understand that he hadn't come to the conclusion that bats can't do shit to him... I thought he had overcome his fear of bats or something. (edit) the army guy after that... I thought he meant that he just passes out in combat. sometimes I don't understand my own thougt process

[@kittengurl220]

lowkeywidowmain butiactuallysucktho I just now realized thanks to you that he did not mean the animal either...like hello is this discount Batman 😂

[@S0ulGh0st]

Welcome aboard! I thought the same in both cases.

[@katyameowmeow]

Flower Pot a bat as in a baseball bat is also literal. both meanings are literal

[@maddythelion]

Totally thought he meant the animals too. Giving poor little bats a bad name! :(

[@cassandrastillman8796]

I thought he means the animal as well, but I didn't question anything...

[@doubleh333lix]

6:19 I like walking up to Dunkin Donuts to make eye contact with grown men buying donuts so they see me shoveling handfuls of dirt into my open mouth, and screeching barbarically.

[@darkmaterial499]

Damn pussies eating and drinking things they like. They should all suffer through things they hate to look tough, like me!

[@imaboonana2444]

Ive been laughing at this for 3 hours how have you managed this?

[@zephyruswild638]

squishy salamander I'm 9 Subscribe to Pewdiepie

[@Integer_Overload]

3:58 that's just an Anime villain monologing right before the protagonist punches him through a wall 😂

[@ascendedcat260]

While the side protagonists just stand there with a sweat drip on their head

[@Integer_Overload]

a s c e n d e d c a t yep xD

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

I think that's a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing, but idk

[@sausagepizza2195]

Couldn't you have put fooking 3:11?

[@sausagepizza2195]

Or are you talking about the blackout? Idk awkward placement

[@JamesTheAce0]

"We're talking about a guy that punches doors" my man we talking about Minecraft steve

[@lincolnickler9354]

a true badass

[@screamindog8772]

dude don’t do Steve dirty like that

[@francogiobbimontesanti3826]

I bet Samantha’s boyfriend was just Samantha trying not to get the next shift.

[@linkadoodle9568]

Well if you rearrange the letters in Samantha you get Thas a man, so it's probably Samantha

[@android19willpwn]

And Griff avoids laundry duty for another day...

[@21minute]

@@linkadoodle9568 Is that a Gumball reference? Lol

[@viviansmiley2]

Plot twist, it’s the same Samantha from the niceguy series. She just found a “tough” whiteknight.

[@Bub383]

I like to think the guy with 'your next' on this knuckles has 'best friend' tattooed on his palms

[@zyaicob]

This makes me very happy

[@magiconic]

And two halves of a heart on his forearms.

[@elijahmuller5041]

And the names of his dogs inside of that heart

[@button465]

*s l a p*

[@CC.07]

Yay

[@socialus5689]

This is the definition of sadness.

[@Sunflower-io4dg]

*total badass

[@mccreeper03]

*sadass

[@charl4478]

Universe Saladass

[@justanotherhobbit7215]

Correction ; This is the definition of cringe.

[@socialus5689]

@@justanotherhobbit7215 Well, cringe somewhat falls into the sadness category since they're blatantly lying about how insanely badass they are.

[@angrytheclown801]

"They call me Blackout!" "Oh awesome name! How'd you get it?" "...I got blackout drunk off my ass in a strip club, started a fight with the bouncer but punched myself more than I punched the bouncer, got kicked out without a ride. Then passed out in a pig farm. Or at least that's what the drill sergeant told me when he dragged me back to base." ".....Ohhhhhhh."

[@81bnforeal]

Imagine feeling superior over someone because you drink coffee different from them

[@81bnforeal]

Underscorer this is amazing. Thank you.

[@atheniansoldier811]

No one is superior to one another, everyone is equally to the best human to ever walk the earth. But you might be my favorite.

[@saber2802]

I'd argue queen of the Knuckle Tribes. @Skylynxify Reborn

[@SenatorArmstrongOfficial]

@Skylynxify Reborn If you wanna be the goddess badass of internet, don't drink at all. c: (You can also win the Darwin awards !)

[@SenatorArmstrongOfficial]

@Skylynxify Reborn It's true, water has health benefits since it keeps you hydrated, but you would lose your badass status... Being badass or drink water, you can't have both. :/

[@zehelzess]

That courage the cowardly dog ending tho. “Things I do for love.” - Courage

[@ijustimagineit]

Now if only Courage the Cowardly Dog would come back on TV....

[@tacticalhaven]

Love that show

[@toast4951]

Zess Zehel OOOUUUAHHH AHHH HAHHHH AHHHHHH

[@nodezsh]

@@ijustimagineit Have we learned nothing these last years? PPG? Daria? Teen Titans? You do NOT want it to come back right now. Unless it sets a precedent of course, then by all means.

[@RinLockhart]

@@nodezsh wait, Daria??

[@aurea.]

Imagine having such a life that you go to Starbucks specifically to stare down other men who (gasp) order anything other than a black coffee...

[@annie4150]

Imagine going to Starbucks just to order a black coffee

[@vladimiradidas1945]

scumbug *this post was made by the frapochino gang*

[@MooVeeMan]

If it's any consolation, there's no chance he actually does that.

[@aurea.]

@drumlip For his sake and that of non-black coffee drinkers, I sure hope he doesn't.

[@zephyruswild638]

Martha G. Subscribe to Pewdiepie

[@SOB98]

Imagine the pathetic dudes who wrote this stuff seeing this video and just punching a door repeatedly in anger...

[@Ender41948]

And then imagine them breaking their hands cuz it's a fucking DOOR.

[@jacobc8036]

I can imagine them doing that than when they scratch there knuckles they cry "MOOOOOOOOM"!

[@screamindog8772]

“I won’t go to the doctor, though, because they wear masks and are SHEEP.”

[@percyap4271]

Imagine the door abuse

[@ProfessorxVile]

That's what happens when their moms won't bring their tendies into their stank dungeons so they're forced to go to the kitchen and get them... the inner demens are unleashed.

[@edgarnello9165]

Im so bad ass that i get on wikipedia skip their cry for donations and dont even feel sorry fo them.

[@Esitaro3670]

You deserve to be sent to jail!

[@elijahmuller5041]

You belong in the shadow realm

[@pancakeshiza4373]

You should be thrown in the nether

[@tailsfoxboy]

Your profile picture compliments your comment perfectly, all you need is an edgier username.

[@kevinvetter2518]

YOU CAN DONATE TO WIKIPEDIA?!?!?!?!

[@Xolaeth]

You want to know how badass I am? I returned rental VHS tapes without rewinding them.

[@zacharytracy3797]

Huh? What's that? Please be kind, and rewind?! WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER ARE YOU!?

[@ARCHMAGOS-RATTLEBONES]

You sick fuck...is this how you get your kicks?

[@josequins9099]

You should be in prison, you fucken animal.

[@eclipsel1328]

You son of a *bitch.*

[@benmcbride4791]

*GASP*

[@justicedaniels3760]

"As I sip my black coffee with no cream or sugar" As a guy who has only ever drank coffee..who cares?😂 not everyone likes the taste of bitter beans

[@SaintSC05]

@David Tarara Like....cold coffee?

[@idontevenknow9758]

I work for an actual coffee company and let me tell you, lots of consumers love milk and coffee or creamer or sugar, whatever they want and most of us drink black coffee for two reasons. One it’s quicker to make in between meetings and two, most of us are actually lactose intolerant or feel uncomfortable after drinking milk so much. You can only drink so much milk with your coffee before you get kind of sick.

[@theonetruemungdaalgamer725]

Honestly I dislike coffee But I don't go on about how you should only drink Tea pure and not with milk and sugar. Drink what you want motherfuckers. I don't care.

[@SaintSC05]

@David Tarara No kidding.

[@matilde_5]

Grognak The Barbarian Well heyo, Grognak. You made a good point right there

[@ObligatoryBook]

Yes, let’s define “Otaku” vs “Weeaboo” *Otaku* : Sort of like a more derivative version of ‘geek’. Someone who has an extreme interest in nonfictional or fictional entertainment, such as anime, manga, pop stars, etc. They are know to be lazy as well as being very poor in social scenarios. Generally looked down upon in Japanese culture. *Weeaboo* : A westerner who believes the Japanese lifestyle to be a superior way of living, and follows it as if it were their own countries culture. However, they are often very similar to Otaku as they focus on the parts of the Japanese culture that has made it across seas, most common of which would be anime, manga, traditional Japanese weaponry, etc. So, just to put this in perspective, this person is admitting to being the bad one of the two. He’s also likely both.

[@zyaicob]

Knowing the difference between Otaku and Weaboo is the most weeb shit ever

[@liamanderson7082]

Weebs are basically Otakus who make complete and utter asses of themselves. Like, just kinda being a fan of a certain anime, could probably care less. It's when we see pics of people posing with lewd dakimakuras that issues arise.

[@kimifw58]

How is being lazy worse than trashing your own culture?

[@hinamiravenroot7162]

Isnt Otaku basicly "basement dweller" in japanese?

[@olgierdvoneverec4135]

@@hinamiravenroot7162 otaku could be literally be translated as obsessed, fanatic or nerd, basically it can be said of someone who is very passionate of something, you can be a fighting otaku, an exercise otaku, a fishing otaku, a maths otaku, cars otaku, whatever. outside of japan it is used specifically for anime fans, the term you are thinking of is hikikomori.

[@joxlz7231]

“We're talking about a guy that punches doors.”

[@sinzo6593]

"We're talking about a Trial Captain who's most likely gay..."

[@HolyEmpresse]

World's Biggest Booty Hoes was that a rick and morty joke-

[@benjatatafasa3105]

3:12 "bats don't do shit to me" Bats are, like, mice with big noses and paper-thin wings. They eat insects. What kind of "badass" needs to point out that BATS can't hurt them?

[@CseniK]

Maybe he meant Dracula 🤔

[@MrGargamel1198]

Baseball bats? They do have big wings

[@teasipper9061]

@@MrGargamel1198 Don't you mean big swings?

[@MrGargamel1198]

@@teasipper9061 oohh shiiiiiiit

[@benmcbride4791]

@EmberMist OOOOOOOHH THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT!!!!

[@DylanDude]

7:45 Her: _"You are subordinate to me!"_ Government: _"It's that time of year, please give us your money."_ Her: _"Right, here."_

[@lShadow426l]

To be fair you are supposed to pay your subordinates.

[@DylanDude]

They're not normally the ones who decide how much, however.

[@John-doe955]

Shadow426 lol

[@John-doe955]

DylanDude lol, also true

[@John-doe955]

Anyone else get the feeling that that girl has never actually fired a gun, or that the guns she’s holding is actually just a BB gun?

[@moonpai3668]

Bruh, even the most bad ass people I’ve met won’t drink straight black coffee. It’s preference??

[@meme_god5075]

I bet he scares even Batman

[@grenadehyena2468]

psh i drank black coffee at two years old

[@alexsm3882]

Black coffee tastes good though.

[@princezuko9430]

Grenade_Hyena X003 you belong in this subreddit

[@AuDHDarling]

False. My mom drinks her coffee black and she is a BAMF.

[@soapie-]

We are tallkin about a guy who slobbers hogs.

[@nightcollapse]

I love your pfp

[@ambersomething1693]

mynte we don’t Stan slobbering hogs, But slobbing on knobs!

[@francesatty7022]

this guy slobbers 30-50 feral hogs before they run across his yard

[@jacoblamberson2709]

@@francesatty7022 oh wow lol

[@andromalius8890]

‘Can I slobber your hog?’ Is going to be my new grindr tagline

[@evilpixieofdoom]

I was very confused about the guy who said bats don't do shit to him... I thought he meant the animal. Like, of course they don't do shit to you they're adorable sky puppies!

[@BlackBirdSweep]

I thought he meant the animal until just now.

[@Freshdweeb]

i mean bats will def piss on you tho

[@JoelRiter]

Holy shit. Sky puppies. HOW HAS NO ONE CALLED BATS THIS BEFORE? ADORABLE SKY PUPPIES ARE THEIR NEW NAME.

[@soulsaversaras.r.s3956]

I ALSO THOUGHT HE MEANT THE ANIMAL I only realized I was wrong when I read your comment

[@chriscode6431]

They are adorable sky puppies.

[@influencerzwerg]

Mostly dress shirts?! Someone lock him up

[@nickm2046]

Absolute mad lad

[@raptorjesus6120]

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e0/Joris_Vekemans_-_de_Vos.jpg Mostly dress shirts and ruffles.

[@AnthonyGarcia-yy6pd]

Quick hide your girl!!

[@jean-pierresmyth742]

"These fingers have been trained to... *heavily* apply eye-liner oh my god"

[@Landho713]

How much you can dead lift is like the iamverybadass version of IQ

[@jjjx32]

Youre right

[@android19willpwn]

extremely accurate

[@whosmaya666]

I can deadlift 3000 IQs

[@anone.mousse674]

We’re talking about a guy that punches doors.

[@OGBeefStew]

I am very badass because I have over 4000 hours in Bookworm Adventures Deluxe.

[@Tomvadie]

How many more channels are you gonna invade?

[@bauhausa6933]

Oof the legend himself!

[@J-D03]

Justin Y. but likes Bookworm Adventures Deluxw.

[@Sir_Steven]

Are you seriously just going around popular KZbin channels to make comments about Bookworm Adventures Deluxe and use bots to like your comments? Why?

[@jackmaclellan5316]

@@Sir_Steven probably not bots dude, probably dunkey fans

[@ovvvven]

How to know you’re talking to one of these guys: 1. They mention how much they can lift. 2. They say that they will fight you. 3. They are racist, sexist, or misogynistic.

[@aaronhackett6626]

for number 3, more often than not they're all three!

[@kittykat5797]

"Bats don't do shit to me". I literally understood that as the animal. I was very confused.

[@olive4604]

wait, you're telling me he *didn't* mean the animal??

[@stick-itproductions.3307]

Thanks for clarifying.

[@FromMyPerspectPhoto]

I'm abundantly sad that that's not what he meant.

[@zephyruswild638]

Kitty Kat Subscribe to Pewdiepie

[@FrancisR420]

Dude I had that image for so long

[@macoy3943]

3:20 I was so confused by “bats don’t do anything to me.” Then I realized he meant a baseball bat.

[@tylertownsley8279]

Macoy Greco I didn’t realize that until I saw your comment haha

[@thecheese4255]

Macoy Greco Ha! I didn’t give that a second thought, but I assumed the small, flying mammal Thanks for clearing up the ramblings of a badass!

[@sanghelian]

Umm maybe he was just explaining he's not batman

[@thecheese4255]

Niko Virta He may have leprosy...

[@dudenega1424]

@@tylertownsley8279 ditto

[@mgnsleon44]

If another man tells you that he'll slobber your hog during a fight, just run.

[@somescrub885]

Even if you're into that sort of thing, you don't want anyone that unstable close enough to your hog to slobber on it.

[@cantbefucked49]

Idk that's kinda hot

[@ReiAnikaAyanami]

@@somescrub885 the danger is what makes it hotter and more thrilling

[@diannebassett1313]

Or invite him for coffee later that week.

[@MariaTex3]

"I'll slobber your hog so good! Jk jk...unless?"

[@alchemist00157]

This message is for sorrow tv. Please be well. Know that people out there still watch your videos and still hope the best for you. Whatever your doing I hope it gives you a positive sence of well being.

[@earthtokiwi8934]

4:09 I can promise you, 90% of army nicknames don't have a badass back story, they're just really weird 9th grade level humor nicknames, as the daughter of a army veteran, my dad's best friend's nickname is limpy, y'all can take a guess why

[@godsthirdsonchris2555]

Tank destroyer, for destroying friendly tanks. That's amazing

[@0keimchi]

EarthTo Kiwi Drill sergeant occasionally called my entire battery garbage.

[@WelloBello]

Russ Olson Fartknockers? How much trouble would you be in for laughing at that?

[@themesteriousdude]

@Russ Olson the hell even is a fartknocker? Could you still ask him? Please! I'm dying to know!

[@helvi9319]

Russ Olson i like u no homo.

[@limewatt]

“i was hoping that his thumb had an apostrophe e” your’e next

[@pleasepoo1827]

R/iamverysmart

[@ikrena4701]

@@pleasepoo1827 I am highly sure that does not count

[@JL-ot1kg]

Apostrophe e 'e dumbass

[@JL-ot1kg]

Wait, im sorry, plesse accept my apology

[@theboos5852]

I have an incredibly small dick but this statement is true My penis is small

[@joshuapemberton5017]

3:11 -Isn’t afraid of bats - Indestructible -Super strength Did Superman make a Facebook account?

[@sharkassassin4121]

I don't know but something tells me he's lying

[@MURFGAMING1228]

I think it was meant to mean he isn't harmed by baseball bats, which is total bull shit.

[@saucecontroller]

No, it was a vampire. Pffffffft. Amateur.

[@MURFGAMING1228]

@@saucecontroller That makes so much more sense now. Wonder if he combusts or sparkles. It doesn't matter either way, he hasn't seen the sunlight in years.

[@maj_maas]

Superbat*

[@erickr.batista6400]

11:30 Ladies and Gentlemen, the worlds most fragile masculinity.

[@elliotgonzalez4551]

"Slobbing your hog you wouldn't know what hit ya." ....Bruh I don't think that means what you think that means

[@lillyjean2391]

Elliot Gonzalez “I will kiss you softly. Don’t mess with me” 😤😤😤😤

[@mopbuckets4734]

damn bruh. 😂😂

[@goompo]

4:06 "Blackout." "I once overloaded the circuit breaker in my quarters after trying to watch my Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World DVD on my DVD player and TV... that I smuggled in."

[@GlacierTheTurtle]

That one I actually believe

[@mustardflavoredramen9612]

Awesome :)

[@raaston9761]

"blackout" "i stuck a fork in a wall socket"

[@uforad170]

I live on the 26th floor, I don't wanna see anyone outside my window at any time, 3 AM or otherwise.

[@Soitisisit]

Would be an interesting day at least? Also, what about Pablo, the window cleaner? He'd be alright, right?

[@harveyb9785]

What if I quickly fall past your window

[@uforad170]

@@harveyb9785 oh dear.

[@pommelbobble68.9]

@@uforad170 what if the window cleaner doesn't want to get fired?

[@uforad170]

@@pommelbobble68.9 ive never actually seen a window cleaner outside my window but thats a fair point i guess

[@burpaleese]

I like how everytime punching doors comes up, he's just gonna be like "we're talking about a guy that punches doors"

[@4shi10]

I used a anime profile picture on a no anime discord server.

[@0fuxxgiven210]

Legend

[@bladehunter1097]

*Gasp*, what a legend

[@phantomtrak6007]

I hope I never piss you off, damn

[@SoupyLenny]

*slowly backs away in fear*

[@clown-i-sabbah5505]

Y my pp hard

[@adrienfourniercom]

"I could swim in this . ] And live. And never die And you all would die if you . ] swimmed in it But I swimmed it in . ] Right now! And I was living And you were dying And I was alive ... And you died." So beautiful.

[@ssjale.]

Hes speaking the language of the gods

[@sebastianbarrios2177]

But what I want to know is where is the cave man?

[@rorygiambalvo2955]

Early draft of the portal ending song

[@Hulkzilla0]

So poetic, it could be an epic that was lost to time.

[@axrye800]

Eminem's disses are so lyrically complex I swear to god.

[@LouAfterHours]

Alternate title: We're talkin about a guy that punches doors

[@noahsaint3232]

For real, fuck doors tho.

[@hellochristimbouttasinagain]

Lauren Chong he’s been saying that three times in this video 😂

[@johnartis2710]

Lauren Chong valid

[@brittneystreeter493]

I miss you SorrowTV!! I hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself!

[@princenicholas2730]

Dear Justin from Satan we just finished the new cringe sublevel for you

[@CC.07]

It’s still in development

[@jaxmorris6563]

Satan. To hell with u noice

[@God-ch8lq]

@@CC.07 need help with construction, pardner

[@ShermTank7272]

Cringe is the secret 10th circle. Vergil didn’t show it to Dante since the world wasn’t ready to know about it back then.

[@DioBrando-yk5up]

Satan I got a shovel you want it

[@taliakellegg5978]

3:12 I thought he meant bats as in the flying mammal

[@ghostboi9658]

Ryan Kelly so did I

[@Dani-Claw]

Me too! I was like, "Yeah, bats don't really give me a problem either. They're kinda cute and they eat moths, which is nice."

[@zephyruswild638]

Ryan Kelly Subscribe to Pewdiepie

[@allysilman1631]

@@zephyruswild638 jfc can you literally stop commenting this in every thread? It's so annoying lmao

[@xenasmith4522]

Same omg i didnt realize till i read this.

[@carryeveryday910]

I am 24. Granted I look 18 and act 5 I am 24.

[@quarth9396]

"don't text samantha again" oh its fine, i blocked her after what happened last time. she's also reddit famous, search up r/nicegirls

[@redzgaming6880]

Wait, you posted one of these?

[@michaellee5504]

can we take a moment of silence to acknowledge the real badass who managed to screenshot a comment on a live stream with 120k people that could've easily been missed?

[@yellowjacketgamer2682]

Michael Lee not only can you slow down the chat, you can also pause the chat and go back to his comment, and I doesn’t have to be live, it can be an old livestream but still have the counter.

[@ScaredyPoots]

You know you watch Sorrow TV too much when you can’t tell if the outro song is the real Courage the Cowardly dog theme or if it’s a Sorrow TV cover

[@turidrowned]

Amanda N Eustace sounds too accurate, has to be original.

[@ScaredyPoots]

Turi Drowned True

[@TheFrekledGinge]

I feel like the slogan for this subreddit is “where talking about a guy that punches doors”.

[@ibavider]

yes. YES. *YES.*

[@justsomealligatorwithinter2115]

We're* sorry it just bothers me

[@chipskylark5500]

@@justsomealligatorwithinter2115 no, I agree. I came here to say the same thing. I couldnt tell if he meant we're, or "where we talk about xx"

[@oryanstudios2252]

While wearing mostly dress shirts

[@a.s.d.p214]

@@ibavider did you reach orgasm yet or are you still struggling?

[@eHammy1339]

0:39 no one wants to see someone at 3 in the morning outside their window

[@potaterjim]

Let alone a creepy tweaker looking guy like that

[@hiddendesire3076]

Is it just me, or do many of them self-project onto others what they feel most insecure about in their insults?

[@loneronin6813]

I think you hit the nail on the head on that one ^_^

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

That's exactly what these people do. It's honestly pathetic.

[@woodside4life]

You better shut your mouth. I have a wardrobe full of dress shirts.

[@dantehawthorne34]

You can I always tell what kind of man they are based on any given reaction

[@ron6625]

Wow, I think your name is projecting exactly what you're saying about those people. Also, yeah, you're right.

[@kazj4908]

Just FYI I'm 5'11", 98 lbs, 0% body fat, tiny shoulders, nothing to define, skinny back (deadlift PR of maybe 120 lbs), leg hair, some minor stubble, arms, a functional jaw, and the majority of my wardrobe is made up of t-shirts. I'm pretty sure I'd lose to a mannequin in a fight.

[@tilaNmanx]

You had me at functional jaw.

[@Scarfysmom]

Sounds like my ex. Only he thought he could win against a mannequin. I shoulda left when he started hitting me.

[@acrevamp7904]

@Maximus 8414 r/woooosh

[@imthatone3758]

I wish I had arms

[@BeepyBeepus]

You're pretty lean bro

[@somniato7759]

That doesn’t spell “Your next” That spells, “yo, ur next”

[@oioioi894]

Yeah it doesn’t smell, it’s a KZbin video

[@somniato7759]

@@oioioi894 lol, I just realized

[@xxIluvyouguysxx]

U right lol

[@acedv6134]

yeah he shouldve moved his fingers lol

[@Genaaa916]

Lol I mean it's still wrong.

[@jjcoolableful]

You gave me huge nostalgic chills listening to that outro music. Courage the Cowardly Dog was one of my favourite shows as a kid. Thanks and keep up the good work!

[@lukess.s]

Did she just _threaten_ to slobber his hog?

[@colorado1164]

I think it was R/suddenlygay

[@jernie9384]

Daniel Stachowiak killed me. He's the actual badass here.

[@saroullle]

What's a hog...

[@danielstachowiak568]

@@saroullle Dick

[@YetAnotherGeorgeth]

Just dont be black or he will be racist as well?

[@indridcold6249]

These people ain’t badass, I ripped a metal chair in half once and threw it all the way to the moon and when it got there it made a new crater that was named after me. Nice try

[@sawyer3818]

Jiminy Cricket i mean i do own a katana, but a gay weeb could never be considered badass

[@MKHailGaming]

qdqdqipbpbp people think that just cause they have a katana they can use it, I can’t , but still

[@jesterpez67]

I cant tell if you're being sarcastic, but still laughed

[@ibavider]

You mean the Indrid Cold crater? I live there!

[@finmueller7827]

@@ibavider yo you too? I thought I was the only one

[@Oblvious]

I'm 18 years old. I look 14 and act 8 but I am 18.

[@rainycloud10]

I am 18 years old. Granted, I look 12 and act 7, but I ain't even born yet.

[@zephyruswild638]

Oblivious I'm 9 Subscribe to Pewdiepie

[@piercedsiren]

I'm 23. I look 18 and act 14 but I am 23.

[@Nugcon]

Yes go Subscribe to Pewdiepie

[@advip2552]

@@Nugcon no

[@markvos2692]

"It's not gay if you dont make eye contact" is a wonderful motto to live by 😂