Can Men and Women Be Just Friends? | The Science of Love

Is it actually possible? What if there's some attraction there? Have you ever found yourself trapped in the, "friend zone?" This week on The Science of Love we're investigating attraction in friendships - talking to real friends to find out how and if you can actually make it work.
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Created by: Mike Bernstein and Matt Pittman
Director: Mike Bernstein
Producer: Matt Pittman
Host: Julian Huguet
Cinematographer: Yuki Noguchi
Production Designer: Flower Cole
Editor: David Sommer
Production Manager: William Cubbon
Production Coordinator: Rebecca Ma
Production Support: Daniel Herzog
Production Support: Ben Taylor
Production Support: Joseph Waggoner
1st AC | DIT: Loie Russell-Templeton
Gaffer | Cam Op: Andrew Finch
G&E Swing | Cam Op: Richard Card
Key Grip: Ryan Walton
Art Director: Tricia Robertson
Set Decorator: Marcy Silver
Makeup: Taylor Tompkins
On Set Sound Mixer: Ben Adams
VFX & Title Sequence: Cameron Clark
Post Sound Designer & Mixer: Matt Schwartz
Colorist: Trevor Durtschi
Featured Participants: Sherry Edwards, Jill Schrack, Alex Plaisance, Catherine Urbanek, Parker Marshall, Jared Delgado, Jennifer Bacon, Jessie Kahnweiler
Music:
Finding a Leaf in Your Girlfriend's Hair - Lullatone - Soundtracks for Everyday Adventures
All the Optimism of Early January - Lullatone - While Winter Whispers
Time Strain 7 - Rannar Sillard - Epidemic Sound
Adventure Music for Migrating Birds - Lullatone - Falling for Autumn
The Biggest Pile of Leaves You Have Ever Seen - Lullatone - Falling for Autumn
A Little Song About Snowdrops - Lullatone - While Winter Whispers
Here Comes Sweater Weather - Lullatone - Falling for Autumn
Look Up! There is a Perfect Gradient in the Top of That Tree - Lullatone - Falling for Autumn
~-~~-~~~-~~-~
How do students react when high school boys are treated like women in Congress?? CLICK HERE to find out!
• High School Boys Treat...
~-~~-~~~-~~-~

[@gmx1100]

The truth is, in 90% of male-female friendships, one person secretly wants more.

[@gmx1100]

Libor Supcik You know what I mean though

[@waterdoggo4998]

How can that be?

[@gmx1100]

Foxy the pirate How could it NOT be?

[@rosiejones9241]

Yeah Ikr and it's not just the men like most people are saying I think it can be one sided with the woman wanting more but the man not finding her attractive as well

[@nookiecookies1017]

more like 100 %

[@filmdude6934]

7:00 homie had his entire world shattered right in front of him RIP bald man

[@SuicideKang]

FilmDude I’m not convinced

[@user-xp6hu6mh7f]

Lol he’s cute

[@homelessdude8080]

@Best Musicals But one of them gets a sex change...

[@KingNigelOfTheKookaburraCreek]

Where did I leave my shekels? oh she knew exactly what she was doing

[@SuperVoidBoyz]

@Max It Now or demisexual or asexual.

[@deathdog1392]

Bald haired white guy looked mad at everything the girl said. FRIEND ZONE!!! He mad

[@meanwalnut]

exactly what i was thinking xD

[@niftythegoblin]

I was laughing so hard bc he looked so pissed, especially when she said "I wake up in the morning thinking 'Thank God I don't want to have sex with you!!'" Omc xD

[@birdgod5584]

deathdog1392 lol, but to be honest, I think if it is the "friend zone", someone has to actually ask if they can be more than friends

[@jovas14rocks]

+deathdog1392 asking if someones attracted to the other can ruin this kind of friendships fast.

[@AyshaLovesYou]

I think they both want more. He wants to date her and she wants to know if he wants to date her because she wants to date him. If you know what i mean? I feel like she over exaggerated the "I dont want to have sex with him" part to see his reaction and test out what he really wants so she can determine if he liked her or not, which it seems like he does.

[@whatthehell4917]

the guy with the shaved head looks like he is interested in her romantically... You can see how nervous he acts. How he looks and watches her, then looks away again. Kinda losing his words or talking more shaky and quite... Look at the other friendship pairs: When one of them talks the other one is watching and listening and you can see the friendship level - equality in every way. But when you're in love, desperately, you often feel not good enough and you are very careful what you do, say and how you act etc. It's totally clear to see. I'm excited how this experiment ends. Still watching the vid.

[@rosiejones9241]

Yeah I noticed that too. Maybe he is just quite quiet or reserved...

[@Dman82499]

yeah, not really, I do that around everyone, so

[@kylejnicholson]

She likes him too!!!

[@lalakuma9]

Yeah, I feel so uncomfortable watching that pair because I feel bad for the guy... Plus we don't get to hear his opinion as much as the female friend, it feels as if she's making the rules and he can't help but follow it because he feels attached to her.

[@sweetlove3391]

Lala totally... That guy should seeing other girl.. I have the feeling he is waiting for her but she does not really care about his feelings at all and make sure they don’t start anything..

[@tyleraustenfeld8180]

Hey SoulPancake, I'm an English teacher and I just wanted to let you know that all these videos work excellent when teaching English as second language, they provoke though and conversation and they are a great way to create organic dialogue. Thanks for all the hard work.

[@Participant]

Tyler Austenfeld Glad we could be of service to you and your students. Thanks for the support and keep on watching!

[@xXSuperSlyFoxXx]

Sorry "English teacher" but uh I think you mean thought not though

[@ChroniclesOfHigherAi]

xXSuperSlyFoxXx Its a typo, not a misspelling. Two very different things, but nice job being a butthole.

[@ChroniclesOfHigherAi]

xXSuperSlyFoxXx And sorry but I think you meant to put a period on the end of that sentence.

[@tyleraustenfeld8180]

xXSuperSlyFoxXx I caught that typo before I hit comment. I thought it would be funny to see how long it would take for some internet police to condemn me. It took you over a whole month, which surprised me. Anyhow, congratulations you are stone thrower. The world needs more perfect people like you who never make mistakes, thanks for correcting everybody!

[@filteredcreativity9409]

Friendship is more special than romance.

[@Shift4g]

Well, they aren't mutually exclusive, though I get what you are saying. I'd say the friendship bond beyond two people who are truly in love with each other is a bit stronger than general friendship, however, they are two different types of friendship. Neither should be discounted.

[@hayseman]

In a way I can agree to that. But also friendship has boundaries where a romantic relationship doesn't.

[@LacrosseAlmighty]

Romantic relationships are more intimate, intimacy equals trust, no? I'm sure a more trustful relationship is better, but i guess friendship is more special because of it's limitations

[@TheParabola1977]

Wrong, there is nothing more special than a romance combined with a friendship.

[@TheParabola1977]

Wrong, there is nothing more special than a romance combined with a friendship. I've been in relationships where there was passion and intense attraction, but faltered once we realized we were lovers but not friends. I've also had the opposite kind of relationship where we had tons in common and always had a great time together, but there was no real romantic spark that ever ignited. Both lacked something needed for the long-term, and it wasn't until I found both that I understood this. We knew each other for a few months before we dated and then the "moment" arrived where the spark flew and things changed. For the next year my head never stopped spinning at how wonderful things were, and she was truly happy as well. Did it work out in the end? No, I'm not saying those kinds of relationships always make it, just that they are the best, and she taught me that.

[@ZeroSumJ1]

All these people are just describing what makes a successful marriage.

[@AngelaT]

Yes, I thought the same.

[@TimeLapse54321]

Exactly. This is what mature relationships look like.

[@nettrucker]

Marriage is dead . . . get over it. Only a fool would marry in this social climate.

[@coolfred9083]

@@nettrucker Nobody asked but okay.

[@andrewcruz7595]

@@nettrucker hahahah . Ok there pal good one 👍

[@KenzuGaming]

Q: Can and Women be just Friends? A: Yes, if one of them is married, or they are not each others type.

[@iceboss226]

+KenzuGaming Thank you!

[@LiborSupcik]

+KenzuGaming They can be friends with benefits, ex-lovers in continuation or liberal carnal connoisseurs. Sharing may be caring ..

[@jovas14rocks]

+KenzuGaming This issues become severe in marriages.

[@JamesSmith-yb8rq]

+KenzuGaming I believe they can. But at some point there is a thought that is going to come into our head. I have many female friends. None I have done anything with. But I'd be lying if I said I never thought about having sex doing anything else with them. It's nature. Have I acted on them? No. Because I'd rather be long term friends than ruin it for temporary pleasure. But like he said. Once you come to terms that the attraction is there instead of trying to suppress those feelings it becomes easier.

[@RisingPHX]

you should change "or" to "and" because from experience, no not even if one of them is married if you're each others type.

[@BrothaontheGo]

I am dying!!! "I love that I don't want to have sex with you. I wake up everyday and I'm like thank God I don't wanna have sex with you." I had to watch his reaction several times... I am an awful person.

[@mohamedmohsin5723]

Dude that girl is evil af :')

[@MrProfchaos71]

Just soaking up that attention and validation like a vampire

[@insanoibro6331]

@@MrProfchaos71 its not that serious

[@nkiru61]

That was my favorite part. 🤣🤣👌🏾

[@jimmothymcjimmersmith8948]

@@insanoibro6331 lol. Oh yes it is. She got so excited when she saw the look on her face

[@elchucapablas]

Alcohol will get the true feelings going

[@ZphyraRyuu]

How are they true when you're intoxicated?

[@Skylar475]

Alexander Ulvnas the drunk aint neva lie

[@markusboyd4834]

Tobina Ryuu They are true, although the alcohol eases the inhibitions that may get in the way. Many people depend on alcohol in this way.

[@ZphyraRyuu]

Markus Boyd What I meant is, how is it true? If I'm shy for 95% of my life, aside from when I'm drunk, where I say whatever I want, or do whatever I want. I don't see that as the "real" me. I see the real me as the person I am most of the time, not just when drunk.

[@birdgod5584]

alvin rivera its true that alcohol increases sexual intensity

[@realtorforlouisiana]

after watching this and hearing them compare platonic connections to romantic ones... I had to ask: why not change the way we approach relationships? Why do we have to act so serious about it? Why not just relax and have fun wtih a partner and when talking about the day, a struggle, or sharing whatever, just CHILL and see each other as a parnter and team mate for life

[@coachgumby1421]

Women differentiate between male friends and male lovers while men don't differentiate, they would happily jump into bed with their female friends. There is a joke about this on the internet called the ladder theory.

[@realtorforlouisiana]

+Coach Gumby interesting point

[@roderigosan]

AirEvolution because there needs to be a difference between the two.

[@realtorforlouisiana]

I have just as many male friends as female friends, and while I"m sure some of them have found me attractive, and a few might have had genuine feelings for me. most of them are not concerned with "where it's going" The important thing for ALL involved is to be aware of what you feel and if you want a romantic connection but the other person doesn't, you have to decide for yourself if you can or cannot be around them with those feelings

[@realtorforlouisiana]

There is no "stringing" going on. In adult circles with business minded and activist minded people, you can't limit your connections based on gender if you want to have impact and develop. Furthermore, even if a friend of mine isn't connected to business, my support system is not limited and it's PAST TIME that people get out of that BS limitation Me and all my friends of all genders and sexual orientations have supported each other through EVERYTHING and i'll be damned if we let any thing come between that. My boyfriend has been one of those friends of mine, and the love we have is based on REAL AND SOLID factors, such as protecting each other and developing together toward our visions. That's the way people in my circle operate. Whether the connection is platonic or romantic. SOON AS OTHERS start living their lives that way, the sooner they'll grow inside that protective and nurturing support

[@Omskanielar]

If there's no (sexual) attraction, no spark, no "butterflies", but you still get along with a person veeery well, trust them etc, isn't that friendship? (We're talking about new relationships, if there's no attraction, no love, then you should end it...) And since it can become really hard to almost impossible to be (sexually) attracted to everyone, it's very good that there is something like friendship.

[@mobina1248]

Yes no matter the gender just be friend with whoever you get along with and someone who can understand you. Why even thinking about it that way??

[@DataLog]

You are correct, but it doesn't work between a man and a woman. Only exception is a gay man and a woman.

[@sagarthegreatable]

@@DataLog I don’t think so brother I have a friend I don’t really have any kind of attraction towards but she’s good fun to hangout with like a bro the problem starts when you sexualize everything.

[@DataLog]

@@sagarthegreatable Bro, the problem starts when you can't understand generalization. What I said is true for 95% of the cases...

[@sagarthegreatable]

@@DataLog No I agree with you bro I was just stating that its possible to be friends with a girl like a guy but its fine when you are single once you are dating or married normally the wife or the husband wouldn't really be comfortable if you hangout with your guy or girl bestfriend without their presence no matter how they act outside its just human nature isnt it ?

[@Syd_3]

The funny thing is that these folks are building a foundation for what a good marriage should be anyway… the reason I think we see so many friendships between men and women is because the dating world really has gotten insane and our culture has lost the understanding of what a good relationship in marriage is and what dating really is for in the first place. It’s become all about physical attraction and chemistry which really is just chemicals in your brain that often cloud your judgment and ability to see the other person clearly. Back in the day men and women used to court and slowly built a foundation without the messiness of sex. It’s probably contributed to higher success in marriages in the past whereas now, everyone is chasing a feeling and as soon as the feeling runs out they split. Love isn’t a feeling. All the philosophers and even psychologists call this Eros. It’s basically lust. Your desire for the person becomes intoxicating Bc of biology and just our human need to bond. It’s not a bad thing but basing a relationship solely on this is a train wreck waiting to happen. Eventually someone “falls out of love” and maybe that person showed their true colors finally and you don’t like what you see anymore. And since there’s no real foundation built, you through them out like they’re dispensable since they aren’t meeting YOUR needs anymore. Love is sacrifice. It’s a choice. Think of friendships you have where no matter what, no matter the arguments you have, you come back and choose to stay. Because you value them so much. This IS the foundation for a good and successful marriage. I’ve met so many grandparents who’ve been marriage for 50+ years who say they are eachothers best friends. The love changed from electric chemistry, to a deep abiding love that lasts through the storms. You will lose physical attraction, guaranteed. Or at the very least, this person will change in your eyes and you will have to go back to the foundation, remembering that no matter what, you’ve got eachothers back and value eachother more than yourself. Our culture doesn’t cultivate an environment for marriage/family anymore. It’s all just “what can I GET from this situation”. And the throwing away of a realistic view of relationships in lieu of a romcom fantasy has been to our detriment as a society. 60% of marriage ends in divorce. Even higher those who live together before marriage. People are more unhappy with relationships, cheating is a norm, people are limping from relationships to relationships with broken hearts from the past one. The facts don’t lie. Time to do better in preserving what has worked in the past instead of trying to pave a new way that clearly isn’t working. Modern dating doesn’t work for the thriving and flourishing of society.

[@leonardnavarrete7124]

Well put. Well put. I agree. Relationships have become commodities for people.

[@tanzanitedoingstuff6942]

Please never delete this comment. People need to see this more.

[@Yusa_Beach]

Ding ding ding ding! Bingooooooooo

[@haleythurston6370]

You know, it's really weird. Whenever we're kids we have a lot of opposite gender friends than when we're adults.

[@alimahdavi2276]

Hormones bro

[@lakshyamongia3270]

@@alimahdavi2276 hormones are helluva drug

[@emanuelmota7217]

That's not weird - it's nature.

[@fergoka]

@@bianceesterhuyse604 That's true if there is no attraction from either sides. When it is, the friendship is not friendship anymore.

[@flamelibra3362]

not weird at all

[@TheParabola1977]

The simple answer to this is "No, not if either one finds the other romantically or physically attractive". Yes, a mature person can keep their feelings in check and not violate that "friend zone" boundary for the sake of not alienating the other person, but as long as there is attraction on one side then the person feeling the attraction will always have romantic motives in the back of their mind. And, if the other person begins dating someone there will always be feelings other than "I'm happy for them". If you disagree with this you are lying to yourself, really. The best romantic relationships are the ones based on friendships that blossom into more.

[@clienth]

exactly what happened here.

[@Mypenisissmallbut]

Facts. Any 6/10 and above I guarantee all her male friends would smash given the opportunity.

[@raymondotoole2600]

I agree with you but there’s no such thing as friendships if they’ve turn into something more. It was love developing at first sight. May sound cheesy but it’s true. Even without them knowing

[@Polytrout]

I don't see how I can get romantically involved with a woman who's put me in the friend zone.

[@dcfmkyn]

Absolutely correct!!! First, men DO NOT approach women for friendships. They approach because they are sexually attracted to the woman. Actually, women don't do this either. People (especially women) need to understand that sexual attraction for someone does not turn off because the other person does not share the same feelings. I can't believe the woman in the video who said "I thank God every morning I wake up and not want to have sex with you!' 🤣🤣🤣 The look on his face was priceless 😂. I could tell he was dying inside. 😭😭😭

[@t0ymachine23]

Why is the host wearing a lab coat

[@gotseoul123]

😂😂😂😂

[@lavenderlavender7541]

Social experiment

[@jackiejolie2748]

Science of love

[@evenrocksgrow6062]

Science!

[@Lenny-zn8hn]

He needs to fix those broken hearts of these guys afterwards...

[@emmay3982]

Honestly, I feel that with age you get different views on friendship too. When you're younger and you're friends with people of the opposite sex I'm sure it's just because you have fun together and get along. I don't focus on gender or the sexual preferences of my friends, I focus on them and their personality and how much fun we have together.

[@mobina1248]

Yes we all are individuals and SOULS. I don't get why they put every opposite sex relationships in romantic category. Why there must be romantic attraction and not just personality platonic attraction. We are not beasts. We Are Humans.

[@elitebeing21]

I think you just don't understand when you look for the opposite being friends what do you look for? Most of the times... it base on features and what you can do.. but it relate to being physical with them..

[@raymondotoole2600]

@@mobina1248 yes but in reality there are biological responses to how a man sees a women and how a women sees a man. The majority of the time we’re all sexually attracted to one another and the definition of a friend is someone who is there for you in a time of need. I’m not going out my way to ask a women to solve my male issues… doesn’t mean I won’t go out and have fun with women but only if they’re my friends girl or a business partner.

[@thehumanbackpack6374]

@@mobina1248 Men and women can't be friends. 99 percent of the time the guy is just trying to smash. And you never see a fat girl with a bunch of guy friends go figure.

[@Imnotyourhomie8]

Yes that's right I have best friend girl and we are just a friends🧡🇫🇷😭

[@halfofakitty]

How the frick is having sex and needing emotional support from the other person NOT a romantic relationship?!

[@carultch]

Also, if one person wants a sexual relationship, and acts in denial of these desires, and the other person does not, they are not "just friends". I think you only can be "just friends" if you both mutually do not desire a sexual/romantic relationship.

[@halfofakitty]

carultch Exactly. People are so limited to what makes a relationship and generalize too much. No one considers what if a FWB (i.e. non-platonic things repeatedly done under the absence of romantic feelings) gets married/intends to be permanent, or if two people dating never have the "are we in a relationship now" talk then they're apparently not a couple no matter what they do/how long they've been together, or if a FWB is public (e.g. public making out, etc.). All of which I've seen insist they're not in a relationship. If it's not typical it's not a relationship. pfft. If they want to distinguish them with terms like casual relationship and full relationship then that's fine, but they're still all relationships.

[@carultch]

halfofakitty I think the thing is, that any time someone has a "forbidden love" relationship, or a relationship that formed under questionably acceptable circumstances, they insist on dismissing it as "just friends" when others ask about it.

[@halfofakitty]

carultch Also, there's no such thing as "more than friends"; that's where the terms girlfriend and boyfriend come from; they're still friends, but with a romantic and/or sexual component. So really the correct terms would be platonic friends, romantic friends, and sexual friends. So people insisting their FWB is just a friend because neither of them "feel romantically" and somehow changes the relationship title is irrelevant because it doesn't.

[@carultch]

***** People can disconnect sex and romance, but you are only "just friends" if platonic friends is all you ever want to be, and neither of you acts in denial of true desires for romance or sex.

[@Nikhiyang]

as someone who let my attraction to my close guy friend ruin our friendship, this was beautiful to watch. it just sucks that it took losing him to figure what everyone in this video knows.

[@Christian-ml9sx]

Good read, Harvard study

[@leonardnavarrete7124]

The people in this video also said they never considered the others needs. Um. sounds like they are clueless to me about other people. You know when someone digs you. Ignoring it is stupid.

[@illumi9044]

I think men and women can be friends if neither person is attracted to the other. If there is, you've gotta be honest, & don't try to hide it. It can happen as long as you're honest with each other

[@spongebob1369]

On of them can even be attracted to another, it's nature. The important thing is to not let your hormones control you if the friend you are attracted to has a partner

[@DanielFleischmannJr]

When I was younger I would see women that I was attracted to as these "perfect people" and try to act like a friend instead of asking that person on a date. The only way I can see myself being platonic with someone is if I only find them to be more like a sister to me.

[@mdouglasinc]

I think in every friendship like this you have thought about it at some point but analyze the advantages vs disadvantages. Like I'd rather not go there in order to preserve this good dynamic. Unless there is potential for something serious in the long run, why ruin a good thing. I will say most of the male/female friendships usually go south once one of them gets a bf/gf.

[@andremotivation6561]

I've notice most, not all but most women cut ties with most of their "male friends" when they meet a man that their actually sexual attracted. Which is messed on their part.

[@mohamedbelgassem4038]

Well said!

[@Sammie551]

Not true

[@abanustrickland368]

@@andremotivation6561 q

[@jourdanfarquharson4697]

@@andremotivation6561 cuz us men in some or most cases tell the girls to cut off their other male friends. However it is true that girls normally do it as you described

[@barrybarry6570]

7:15 homie looks like he wants to say "YES" with all his might hahahahaha, but hes holding it back.

[@TheInternationalC]

That got me! I love how he looks right down at her mouth when she asks that, which is a sure sign of physical attraction!

[@xSylviaMoonx123]

TheInternationalC Those two honestly had amazing chemistry.

[@BeedlePencil]

Of the friendships interviewed, that particular one looks like it'll end in marriage.

[@dustinmaxwell259]

Looked more like "Oh hell, it's a trick question !! If I blow this I may never get blown." .

[@signalfire15]

If you are friends with someone, it means you like them. You like their personality, you trust them, you communicate well, and all that other good stuff that friendships have. So it's really not that big of a step to like the other person romantically. That's why they say the best relationships start off as friendships. I would say the only way romantic feelings could not develop would be in the absence of physical attraction. The other person would have to be outrageously ugly for the thought of more to have never entered your mind, and even then, it would be hard because liking someone's personality also increases their attractiveness.

[@MadamLolz]

This is a weird comment to insinuate bad looks is the only reason why someone would find another friend unattractive

[@signalfire15]

@@MadamLolz what other reason would you have to find a friend unattractive?

[@josiecroix]

​​​@@signalfire15Some people don't feel and/or want physical attraction, romance, and/or sex at all but still want to pursue a relationship based on pure love. For me, I have to be in love with someone's personality after developing a close friendship before I can find them physically attractive, otherwise it has never once occurred for me and is also not guaranteed. However, I'm not interested in a romantic relationship atm, so when I experience "butterflies" (a fleeting emotion), I ignore and avoid them in order to preserve a valuable friendship. Also, if someone isn't compatible for that romantic relationship to work long-term (finance, work/school/aspirations, boundaries, respect, emotional compatability, trust, religion, children, circumstance, priority, life-style & habits), then that's a common reason why someone would not pursue a relationship regardless of how "attractive" someone looks. Personality and compatibility can be a major turn-off for people, even if that doesn't affect how they feel about their closest friendships. There are so many reasons! For many, personality is the real dealbreaker. For me, I need mental and physical attraction, as well as strong compatability to initiate a serious relationship. I feel that physical attraction is the least valuable need of those three but is still required, and can only be produced from a powerful, long-term mental attraction and bond. Hope this helped! 🙂

[@MadamLolz]

@@signalfire15 I’m sure your shallow mind can come up with something. There are many reasons.

[@signalfire15]

@@MadamLolz Okay, troll. Good job leaving a comment with no substance and being completely unprepared to add anything of value. Bye.

[@ohmiaohmy]

I'm attracted to both men and women, and have had conversations about attraction with both my female and male friends. Just discuss it, come to an understanding about where each person is at, and formulate some next steps. It's not that hard. If anything, talking about it makes the friendship even closer!

[@yuiitodoro7791]

Hey, what are the different reactions u get when the topic of discussion comes to attraction or how the dynamic changes in any way if it does after that ?

[@saltyarmy6386]

I've learned relationships more than likely won't last without the "friendship" relationship first. I've made the mistake several times of going right off the bat and jumping into a relationship without barely knowing who she was and 99% of the time it ended in regret and cringing at just hearing her name mentioned. If you hang out for a while, get close, and know you can tolerate each other and get to know what each others really about, that's when you ask "why don't we hook up?" Those are the type of relationships that even it something does happen and you split, it's usually mutual and you'll be upset but you won't completely hate her.

[@leef-pe8]

What's dumb is that, once your in the friendzone your stuck their. And isn't your hunsbend or wife supposed to be your friend? People just get into a relationship to have sex that's why it doesn't work out. I don't understand how people don't see it and they continue to go for the wrong people just because their sexualy attracted. I personally would be more sexualy attracted to someone who I actually get a long with. I just don't get it at all, now you have feminists and red pillers, just because they got with the wrong person several times, instead of getting with the person they actually like but forget about having sex with the person you actually like, it probably never happen. I don't get it either dude. People will continue to get in bad relationships, and continue to develop resentment. It's probably why the Bible says wait until your married before you have sex. You don't wanna be with someone you don't like for the rest of your life.

[@immossi]

bald guy obviously fancies the curly haired girl so much. poor thing. lol

[@KinglyLion]

one of the few webseries i constantly like and everytime i learn something new. i dont care if this comment doesnt get any recognition but i just wanted to let you guys know that you totally help me improving my personal life with others, first with my relationship and now even with my friends, you are just totally awesome!

[@Participant]

Thank you so much! It means a lot to us to get this feedback - so it is definitely recognized and appreciated. :-) YOU are awesome!!

[@HeyYouPMme]

I'm a boy, and as long as I remember I always had female friends since kindergarten, I never got along with most boys, even today. Yes there were a few girls along the years that I liked, but for the most part all my female friends are just friends and I am thankful to have them in my life. I don't see male or female, I just see a friendly companion. Idk if I made sense.

[@jovas14rocks]

that might change when your older

[@auroraborealis675]

How old are you though?? I feel like you are going to say something around fifteen and if that is so, you don't have enough experience.

[@PrincipalSkinner3190]

Pueburty changes this if you are indeed heterosexual.

[@craftedwizardgamer9958]

Squirtle Same but for the opposite, most of my friends are guys and I'm a girl.

[@Goadiroth]

Did you grow up in a home with mostly females? Usually guys tend to befriend more women than men, if they grew up in a feminine household. That's just my opinion.

[@iBeFloe]

I think the bald man is friendzoned because he looked very distraught from what his "friend" said lol

[@Tickerchicken]

The feels dude

[@dwighthayles1226]

I kind of got that too. If she opened the door he would definitely want more I think.

[@peterlane1391]

If you're a man's friend you will never say the phrase " thank God I don't want to have sex with you" to his face and on camera. Dear God in Heaven...

[@jaybrown2241]

Peter Lane nothing a wrong with that because they are just friends.

[@dustinmaxwell259]

@@peterlane1391 An easy come back would be. "Ikr? The last thing I'd want to do is wake up and see YOU lying next to me :P

[@ohandcreamy]

To hear that other cross sex friendships include the "do we want to get romantically involved"conversation makes me feel so much more secure about the trials and tribulations I've gone through with my male friends

[@Collinzmusic]

@ 5:32 You can just feel his pain 😂😂😢😢

[@Collinzmusic]

thesupergreenjudy they should just go full on friends with benefits. what's there to lose? 😂😂 he really is dying inside! 😂

[@tallwaters9708]

Looked terrible... all of these 'friends' are just in different levels of denial, how is this healthy?

[@jeffreyblaise3198]

Collinz I can’t believe she added “if you value their friendship enough.” Meaning if you’re in love with someone and want to express it, you’re selfish and don’t value friendship. She sounds selfish here. I hope he gets with someone that makes her super jealous.

[@gotseoul123]

That look away from her...ouch.

[@jaybrown2241]

Jeffrey Blaise she won’t be jealous because they are just friends :)

[@3lit3gn0m3]

6:58 ouch. ouch ouch. I think the thought is fine for friends, but the way she just said it seems a little intense.

[@daleycarter]

She is fully aware of how much this guy likes her, and is just loving the ego boost

[@RkeyNirun]

This is how I relate to my girlfriend. And we're married. Being in a serious relationship is not about limiting yourself, or putting up rules about how you have to act. It's about NOT limiting yourself, and being able to be yourself together with someone else. A lot of people think that dedicating is to be locked up, but I believe that being alone is to be locked up, being together with someone makes you strong and free.

[@oliviaharris5957]

I think the red haired woman and nose ring guy are the people who actually inspired me in this group. They’re completely intentional and honest about their relationship, and obviously have the most clearly-defined boundaries and self control. I’m trying to navigate a close friendship with a guy right now, and these two people give me a picture of how a coed friendship can be not just successful, but maybe essential to each other’s growth. You can hear it in the way they speak - they are very similarly articulate and precise. I bet

[@johnadams1281]

I think the guy might be gay, which might explain why their friendship is more natural and truly plantonic

[@kk440635NORWAY]

Yes, I am a single man, and I have a good female friend, she is even married to a man. It is possible for a straight man to have a straight female friend without beeing anything sexual involved in the friendship

[@Melody2004.]

👍

[@ericahallam9180]

Julian, why is your tongue blue?

[@jhug111]

I MAY have been eating a blue jolly rancher right before we shot the close ups...

[@LastSong]

jhug111 or perhaps being "just friends" with a smurf.

[@ohsicasy]

LastSong So sarcastic!! :) haha!

[@dixonliew6344]

He probably made the vid after he ate a lollipop.

[@anhandfriend]

I thought I was the only one who saw that. I assumed I was crazy.

[@KCM1]

I've grown up with all boys and I've always had guy friends more than girl friends, I've lost a lot of so called best friend's (who were guys) because they end up liking me. I never saw them that way nor considered ever being with them. Thus why I started having more girl friends so that I wouldn't lose people. More than a year ago, I developed a wonderful friendship with a guy and we ended up being the best of friends and we're so alike. I started having feelings for him but I didn't want to risk losing the awesome friendship I had. Some time later, he was the one that confessed. We're now a couple and I've never been happier, not only am I dating the person I love but I'm dating my best friend. I did develop a big friendship with another guy, he's my best friend and we see each other like siblings haha. He has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend, so him and I are nothing more than best friends and I treat him like a brother. He acknowledges that I'm attractive because he's called me cute, and I've told him that he's a good looking dude but it's not weird at all because there's no attraction there.

[@hugo2171]

So thats proof single men and single women cant be friends

[@mobina1248]

@@hugo2171 no it's me and my guy friend are the proofs. It just depends on the people involved.

[@johnadams1281]

girls that have more guy friends than girl friends are huge red flags..

[@thehumanbackpack6374]

You are a walking 🚩

[@jabbz123]

And I guarantee this person’s relationship didn’t last. Men and women can’t be friends

[@Jaylio]

The bald guy got friend zoned to the max lmao

[@moonpearl4711]

It's kind of really sad how many people think this way that friends are for relax, sharing emotions and stuff whereas partners are for sex and serious stuff. this is why so many relationships fail, a man and a woman can't be just friends unless and until they are both interested in someone else in another level.

[@leef-pe8]

Ik dude

[@leef-pe8]

Thanks for saying it! I thought I was the only one with commen sense

[@1JAwesome]

I'm curious.. did you match your tongue to your shirt or did you match your shirt to your tongue?

[@maggieruggiero883]

+1JAwesome Thank God I wasn't the only person to notice I thought I was going crazy

[@peeps0i310]

+1JAwesome I think he matched his tongue AND shirt to his eyes

[@PrincipalSkinner3190]

They all said they're attracted to eachother so the question is already answered.

[@realalldway-raw4996]

The answer is YES... only if you are NOT attracted to each other. I always had male friends. Some are just like brothers and never ever thought of crossing the line but some end up having a crush on me... but I always made sure they never crossed the line. It is possible because it happened to me. In the end it is really depends on the 2 people that decides why they are in that friendship. As long as bounderies and lines are not crossed physically, emotionally and mentally. You can absolutely form a friendship with an opposite sex.

[@kalebjess9957]

“Romance, in a platonic way” WTF💀 I saw that and questioned why they even put that on the board and someone still picked it.

[@moazadi8973]

It’s about self control, respect, and honest conversations. I’m in a 13 year year relationship and have many female friends.

[@colorgreen7]

that you've smashed

[@eezyweezy490]

@@colorgreen7 and more that he will smash

[@CyrilSneer123]

@@colorgreen7That's your immature way of looking at things. One day you'll grow up.

[@MedusasLover168]

I'm bisexual and I have friends (without benefits) of all genders that I'm not attracted to in the least *shrugs*.

[@Sal-zi4tu]

Yepo, ugly guys

[@estela6226]

Ditto

[@msgirly6827]

Right and thats why this is complete bs

[@nazninsultana9248]

samee i hate this logic of women and men cant be friends sm it's creepy and disgusting

[@tyronelorenzovalentio3414]

@@nazninsultana9248 mate ur bisexual lol

[@damienr3086]

friendship only works when one friend isn't attracted to the other.

[@lorilee1931]

I loved the introduction. We always think about what we want put of a friendship, but never what the other person's needs are.

[@_FSync_]

I'm male, and I have a few female friends, I'm in a relationship myself too may I add. I certainly think it's possible. To give an examle: one of the female friends I grew up with and the other one I actually liked until she told me the feelings weren't mutual, no problem! We stayed friends, I took a break from seeing her for a bit which I told her I needed to re-arrange myself and afterwards we started hanging out again, attraction was completely gone and friendship was established. As for the one I've known since childhood, I don't find her attractive, a lot of my guy friends that I met during my teen years called me crazy for not being with the girl I grew up with, I just don't see her that way even though every one of my male friends has tried to be with her at some point. I think there's a clear distinction between having a female friend you're attracted to and a female friend you've already crossed out as an option, if it's the latter it's definitly possible, should you have feelings, I think it's best to just come forward to the person as soon as possible and not let it boil for too long until things get awkward. If you're attracted to a girl but you play "pretend friends" I'd say things are bound to get hard. I do have to add, male hormones will still always make you check out your friends, regardless of attraction or not, or at least, that's the way I experience it.

[@suziesmith8288]

My friend was friends with her male friend for 20 years they grew up since school, she didn't like him in that way. However they are now married with kids. He literally waited for many years until he asked her out. It definitely is possible to fall for a friend that you initially wasn't attracted to!!

[@_FSync_]

@@suziesmith8288 I never said it is impossible.

[@j.inkstv]

Do you hang out with your female friends without your partner?

[@_FSync_]

@@j.inkstv Both, sometimes she joins, sometimes she doesn't. It depends on our schedule.

[@raymondotoole2600]

you just proved your point is wrong. You said male hormones will always want to check your friends out… we don’t check out our male friends do we? And you liked this girl in the past and she rejected you. In the back of your mind deeply you still think a certain way about her so don’t lie to yourself. and if you’re in a relationship with someone and she allows you to see someone you once liked then red flag

[@sunshineforce]

in my experience men and women can be just friends. And I really don''t undersand why some people get almost defensive when they try to convince you otherwise. I have friends who are lesbians and and have a platonic friendship with other lesbians so I don''t undersantd why that can''t happen to heterosexuals as well.

[@ethereallioness]

sunshineforce I think its possible but it can be complicated and some people might have more trouble with this than other people. I think it depends on how sexually attracted they are to the other person, but even just the emotional intimacy can often eventually lead to romantic feelings. People who don't believe it to be possible probably had something happen to them to make them believe its not, like having a partner cheat on them with a friend or maybe have even gotten involved with a friend themselves.

[@chriswalker7895]

sunshineforce I would say its because of the studies and statistical evidence that shows the opposite. You've got Google but I'll site if needed. Also, I would say the reason people may get seemingly offended is because to most of us saying something like that sounds very juvenile. Its not common sense, it's not natural. Guys do it because they hope it changes in the future and girls do it because while they may not "like" the guy, being lonely and bored is worse. Honesty will set us free.

[@r8d46]

Chris Walker Truth!!!!! Anyone who says differently is just lying to themselves or others.

[@nevermindme313]

A if you're a woman, a lesbian is not of the opposition sex.

[@taigaflurry3894]

Because the Male brain is different

[@tamponsrock]

It's not possible if one is sexually attracted to the other. period. A friendship must be equal and mutual feelings toward each other. Once you are sexually attracted to the girl, you will percieve any actions of friendship she makes towards you, like wanting to eat lunch together, an act of attraction back towards you. When you are attracted to someone, you want to think they feel the same way toward you, and if they don't you cannot be satisfied, this is why I think it's not possible. This is also why many beautiful girls I know have so many so called "friends" whenever they are single, but they mysteriously lose those friends when they are in a relationship.

[@argsgsgsgnngndg9894]

7:24 that's the most "friendzone" thing i've ever heard

[@nathon6650]

Hello y'all! I have a question. If we take away the "sex", as they mentioned, from a male-female romantic relationship. What is the real difference between being awesome friends (best friends ever) and being boyfriend and girlfriend? - I was just wondering what you think about it.

[@daleycarter]

Chemistry

[@MrDzala]

Resource & time investment + romantic relationship comes with tests for taking it to the next level of commitment and different expectations from the person.

[@empuwm]

The sex and the way you view each other is different. Romantic relationships involve loyalty and possibly children. Whereas with friends you can have a romantic partner and be friends with someone. Friendship is about non romantic love where you don’t require that much attention or physical affection from another person.

[@christianhenry4173]

@@empuwm this is really confusing now man!. I guess we should just have associates right

[@j.inkstv]

Intimacy is usually the defining factor between a friend and a romantic partner.

[@JansherAquib]

To the guy @7:00 , If you're reading this brother, just know that life is very short and everyone deserves to be adored and loved. Plenty of fishes out there. It was painful watching your exchanges and non verval communication thruout this entire video. Peace ✌🏻

[@craigmalcom6294]

Bros life flashed right before his life. He shouldn’t be friends with her, how can you say that about your friend smh

[@DistopianUtopia]

Agreed. It's not healthy. This is why I avoid hanging out with a guy who's crushing on me and I don't share the same feelings for them. If you're not the one who caught the feelings, you will see the signs. Do not let someone invest too much time & emotion into it if you know you will never reciprocate.

[@RubyHASPROBLEMSCUZRWBY]

I can be just friends with my guy friends. Because I'm lesbian and they're gay. Done. Figured it out. Simple.

[@ricardomurillo5205]

As jack Nicholson said in movie "as good as it gets" you have a point. Heterosexuality sucks and especially in the friendship department

[@berlinwall6674]

Ricardo Murillo Wait until you hear about bisexuality

[@dustinmaxwell259]

Most "gay/lesbian" people are really BI Try again :)

[@l-3832]

@@dustinmaxwell259 What does that even mean?

[@happymood2278]

Friends at 7:28, thank you! "Just because it's there, you don't have to engage in it" Been saying this myself for quite a while and many people I know are in disbelief. To me friendships are more honest than romances because the latter come with so much pressure and exclusivity. Why are we socialized into thinking that romantic relationships are the ultimate goal between a man and a woman? Different people come to one's life bearing different lessons...

[@j.johnson7891]

In my experience, more times than not if I try to keep the relationship to just friends (typically if they are already in a relationship), the woman will eventually try and make a pass especially if I express no attraction to them. This is why it's hard to accept when women tell me they have straight males in their lives that are just friends. I've never been able to carry on a friendship with them, even if I try

[@HellVedaKa]

Still be friends and still have true love for the other person? Yes! Now thats a foundation every king and queen should build their castle upon.

[@ErikuDaidouji]

For me, it's harder to connect with other guys. I think it is because women are usually more open emotionally, BUT also, because when people of opposite genders become friends, I think it is easier to be emotionally open, whether you are a man or a woman. I think it makes you less scared to appear vulnerable.

[@socringe2217]

This is wjat im talking about. I always hang out with the boys but hanging out with my bestie feels fresh because i can at least express myself without being mindful about it.. well im straight

[@johnadams1281]

maybe you're gay?

[@musicformed]

In my perception a true friend never relies on anothers dream. A person with the potential to be my true friend must be able to find his own reason for living without my help. And he should put his heart and soul into protecting his dream. He would never hesitate to fight for his dream, even against me. For me, a true friend is one who stands equal to me in all respects.

[@santibaritone]

As an asexual individual, this is extremely comforting to watch

[@timothymccray6034]

There's no such thing as asexual..unless you can spit out offspring like piccolo

[@milena39]

@@timothymccray6034 educate yourself before opening your mouth

[@milena39]

@@timothymccray6034 go see in a dictionary what asexual mean, it have different meanings.

[@mrsqueaks1154]

Meeee^^

[@stevemoreno910]

Overwhelmingly it is unlikely that a man will make friends with a woman and not expect/ desire more at some point. Especially if their “friend” is an attractive female. Even if physical attraction does not occur, the emotional bond formed in a one sided friendship can make the other seemingly more attractive over time, leading easily to physical attraction. In a committed relationship if your partner has many close opposite gender friends and thinks the friends have no desire for her/ him or will not ever develop such feelings, is unlikely thinking. If a committed boyfriend/ husband wanted to protect the marriage by having strong boundaries and limitations with friends of the opposite gender, many women and some men will think its because the boyfriend or husband is 1) insecure and has 2)trust issues. If trust is defined as confidence and reliability in or towards something, why would wanting to establish boundaries cancel a husband’s confidence and reliability in his wife? Why can’t trust and strong boundaries be co-existing and supplemental, rather than detracting? Trust by definition although thought of as a permanently set trait, can be highly variable according to different circumstances. If for example, the wife keeps close contact with guy friends and texts/ calls them often and her relationship with her husband is strong, then she will not accept the desire/ attraction that the guy friend may likely have/develop for her. However, if somewhere down the road the relationship becomes difficult between husband and wife, and the wife still maintains close and regular “platonic” contact with guy friends, then that boundary of trust she has can become very weak. And it will be easier for her to follow into another guys desire for her. Especially if one or both people in couple start to lose interest in the other by means of familiarity (seeing them everyday). Even the most trustworthy people can fall. It is naive to think that we couldn’t. Thus, in order to better protect a relationship with your significant other, it would be wise on both the male and female pair to limit interactions and regular communication with friends of the opposite gender. Sure, such a measure does not 100% guarantee that nothing will happen; but it increases the likelihood of fidelity by limiting the possibilities of unneccessary external influence. Metaphorically, if a relationship between man and woman is a house, and trust is represented by the locked doors and walls; the established boundaries/limitations would be represented by a surrounding gate/ fence. They are supplemental to each other. Not detractive. Even if the opposite gender friend to your significant other has attraction for her and your significant other doesn’t act on it, then she is still allowing her inner circle of friends to consist of people who may secretly desire her and advance if given the opportunity. Its like being surrounded by temptation. Let’s say an overweight person who enjoys sweets is on a diet. But if he constantly surrounds himself with chocolate cake, eventually he’ll reach out and grab a piece, or just taste it. Or at minimum, have a strong temptation to do so. Especially if its the holidays. Case in point: if you’re in a committed relationship, don’t allow close opposite gender friends to enter into the sacred bond that you have with your husband/ wife. That physical/ emotional/ spiritual bond is not something to be shared or allow for possibilities to be shared. May we all have stronger and longer relationships with strong boundaries and limitations, so that we can take steps towards reducing this absurd ~50% divorce rate that we have in this country.

[@themagwaroshow2178]

This is very insightful 👏

[@nyadet212]

I had this friend named brian who at first I had no attraction to and in know time I accidently liked him. I was stuck because I really liked him but I valued our friendship a lot. I guess my head was clouded and I told him that I liked him and I knew he didn't feel the same way back but I feel soo alive and free. ( I know weird). I was genuinely happy that I told him. our friendship was strained for a bit and also really quiet and awkward but after a couple months we were back to normal and our friendship has grown a lot. I think girls and boys can be friends, but being stuck in the friend zone will most likely happen. even if you don't fine each other attractive..

[@WDallynN]

For me, yes, I have female friends that I would never engage in a relationship. I know some of them actually want to take it to the next level. I'm not the kind of guy that keeps in touch with people after a relationship has ended. That's what I don't want to loose with these women friends I have. So they know my boundaries as I know theirs.

[@raymondotoole2600]

There are boundaries which means they’re not female friends. You’re having to set boundaries like wtf … that just proves it doesn’t work. Doesn’t mean you can’t have fun times with women… that’s not what I’m saying. I could go out on a boat and go partying with women and have a good time but my male pals will be with me. And just because you have a good time with females doesn’t mean they’re called friends. Remember a friend is someone who can listen and be there for you in a time of need. A women cannot solve my male issues so therefore they’re either acquaintances or just a female 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@hollyrowlands6943]

@@raymondotoole2600 tbf most friendships have boundaries

[@TheArtofWill082]

Personally for me, it only works if she is unattractive or if she is a single mom. Any other circumstance, it just doesn’t work.

[@jenss.3613]

It is the ultimate test of Character. If you cant look at a beautiful woman like your sister, God will judge your character lacking.

[@mariatangled]

Men and women have just been friends for the past 100 yrs. Maybe less. Its not natural, someone always gets feelings .

[@Hellenicheavymetal]

So? That doesnt mean it has to change in any way.

[@hermilogarcia7510]

She gets it.

[@elkastico7727]

Friendship is natural. Yeah, someone usually gets feelings... but not for all his friends of the opposite sex, but only to a few exceptional people in whole life. Your arguments are stupid

[@elkastico7727]

@@Hellenicheavymetal It has already changed

[@tadIocksglasses]

Khal Drogo?

[@ruthcdsilva]

Hahah thought the same!

[@KavlosteMeViagra]

it's simple. is at least one of you attracted to the other? if yes, you're not friends

[@jemmac2611]

I feel like if i am friends with a guy and i am attracted to him romantically then i will want to have a relationship with him because I would be upset if he ended up marrying another girl.

[@andremotivation6561]

If most women stated that, more men wouldnt be as in the dark or confused, good on you!

[@priscillasmith4336]

I loved this episode. Soulpancake has taught me a lot about love and relationships. I enjoy seeing the variation of people each time and how something always hits home for me. can't wait til the next Science of Love episode!

[@emsulich]

the blue tongue is killing me

[@grooves_n_giggles]

Really? It's actually giving me life.

[@trulyjeannette]

I think that the people in this video are kidding themselves. Firstly, I'm wondering if all of these friends are single and heterosexual. In this video some of the couples said they were attracted to one another. If they are single, heterosexual and attracted to one another, from the sounds of it, they are afraid to be in romantic relationships and perhaps emotionally unavailable. Using the friendships to avoid not being in romantic relationships. I also believe that if one of the friends suggests that they become more than friends, the other person would consider it and go along with it. I'm also wondering how their friendships are when one of them gets into a romantic relationship with someone else.

[@lise4529]

Jeannette Marie after they get into other relationships... not good, especially if their feelings for their friend is obvious to everyone but them... it's quite frustrating...and they sleep over at one another's house (as in my case) it's really not nice, I think anybody would feel uncomfortable of they had to be the gf or bf. Just in my experience

[@ericcline2350]

I was wondering that myself. They were never questioned about how their attraction towards each other could become an issue with an actual romantic relationship. I'm a pretty secure dude, but I'll be damned if I would ever be cool with my partner hanging out with her male friend where there's an attraction. Also, in my opinion, there's virtually always an attraction from at least one.

[@davegriffin9083]

I think you're exactly right, its some kind of denial or emotional immaturity.

[@spookywitch0x0]

@@davegriffin9083 yeahh exactly 😬 100000000 % well said 👏 👀

[@patrioticdevil]

Very nice message. " Don't pretend that it does not exist if it exists. Acknowledge it but don't act on it and ruin something eternal for a momentary pleasure". Wow!

[@hollyrowlands6943]

I think the "bi people can't have friends" logic can still apply, even when people say "but men are different". The fact is that bisexual people have the potential to find both genders attractive, so there's always that potential of a friendship being ruined.

[@x97sfinest]

Yes. All through high school my best friend has been a girl that I've never went out with. We're like brother and sister.

[@raymondotoole2600]

Lies …

[@bavv7056]

@@raymondotoole2600 just say that you don’t know how to interact around women

[@gamedesign1]

What I would like to know is how do people not feel bad for not wanting to be with their close opposite sex friend. I feel like people would be thinking "well whats wrong with me?" "Why am I a great friend but nothing more?" etc etc

[@msgirly6827]

Thats has more to do with selfesteem and selfworth issues if you ask me.

[@nuskyahmad6375]

@@msgirly6827 nope cuz as the girl in the video said she doesnt want responsibilitie she is lazy

[@andrewmaclennan8702]

From my own experiences, I have found that there is also alot of social pressure when it comes to friendships of the opposite sex. I'm a gay male but before anyone finds out I'm gay they are always asking my female friends and I if were are dating, or when we will go out; before alot of people (particularly young teenagers) are able to develop a proper friendship, expected emotions and feelings already get put into their head about how they're supposed react to the opposite sex. It's rather sad... but that's how I've ended up loosing alot of male friends; cause they ended up being attracted to my female friends and started to get possessive over them :P

[@kaykatiebott]

That is a very good point you made about the 'social pressure'. I grew up very active and athletic and so I hung out with 'the guys' a lot, but If someone sees me talking to or hanging out with the opposite sex it is always assumed by others that I am attracted or already dating them. I can't even invite male friends to family parties without someone asking if thats my boyfriend. Men and women really can learn a lot from each other by hanging out in a platonic way and it does not seem to be encouraged as much as it should.

[@digitalArtizt]

KatieMonster Yesss, I agree! Same thing happens with my family, they just don't understand.

[@keirorin]

As a lesbian who doesn't have the "typical" gay girl look (aka I'm quite feminine in my style and personality), the close male friendships that I have are often misunderstood. I am very emotionally invested in my platonic relationships with both men and women, but people think that I'm madly in love with the males of the bunch. It's a shame... especially when I want to pursue a woman and she thinks I'm "too close" to some boys.

[@berlinwall6674]

Losing not loosing and "a lot" not ALOT

[@tanuki116]

You all are such cool comments! Faith in humanity again 😂 yeah social pressure and expectations make us see everything in such a twisted way, it sometimes saddens me because then I start being unsure about it being possible with all that pressure... Then I just realise it's silly and OF COURSE it's possible! Thanks for your comments ❤

[@racheld8920]

I think boys and girls can easily be friends without feeling any romantic attraction towards each other. Sure, I've thought once or twice that my (male) friend is cute, but that's it. We both have never felt romantic attraction towards each other.

[@Decimation1030]

You can't speak for them.

[@racheld8920]

@@Decimation1030 Why can't I? This is what he told me.

[@Decimation1030]

@@racheld8920 There is a 85% chance he's lying to you.

[@racheld8920]

@@Decimation1030 How would you know, you don't even know me or them.

[@elkastico7727]

@@Decimation1030 Or you're lying

[@Flustered_Potato]

I think I might have a mini crush on Julian.

[@antoniaperaza3911]

Fr! He's super cute like 'omg!'lol. And super smart too

[@snottylottie]

One of my best friends is a boy and I'm 100% certain neither of us are attracted to each other, were completely platonic - he's good looking but we're friends and I love it that way

[@fergoka]

Have you ever thought what he wants or what he needs? He may just hiding his intentions because friendship is the most he can get. I don't believe in platonic friendship. If one wants more than the other (which is the case 99% of the times), it's not a friendship anymore. Please update us what about it now 5 years later?

[@justinblackfacetrudeau8943]

Bunch of liars and losers. One person always develops feelings. Then it becomes a one sided friendship with one person being oblivious or using the other.

[@Gansterboy]

True it's impossible to just stay friends

[@Volleyball_Chess_and_Geoguessr]

If only one person can develop feelings then that means it's possible for people not to develop feelings, so why couldn't you get a pairing of two of those kinds of people?

[@caleborrelse665]

I have a girl best friend who always has my back, and everyone says we would make such a cute couple but it isn't like that

[@gmx1100]

Caleb Farley You sound gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[@SimbaBrank23]

Caleb Farley In what way does she have your back that a guy friend cannot do better?

[@caleborrelse665]

S Brank That is not what I was implying.

[@caleborrelse665]

gmx1100 and I'm not gay hank you very much

[@caleborrelse665]

S Brank First of all I'm not going to have sex with her. second she's there for me when I need a friend, she worries for me, its not that kin a freindship

[@sofiavaldez3020]

I seriously love this video! Should do a series on male-female friendships lol

[@kindcutie7143]

They are not such thing of male and female friendship. its impossible

[@elaeli9506]

of course they can, you won't love every person you meet,someone will be a lover and someone only a friend.

[@ricardomurillo5205]

Women want attention not friendship. Men want sex over friendship. you can't be friends with your food or a baby. You cannot be friends with an attractive young woman.

[@Hellenicheavymetal]

Ricardo stfu dumbass

[@joequackenbush7972]

@@ricardomurillo5205 meh, when you have money and successful, women can come and go all the time.... I'm not trying to fuckevery female who gives me the time of day.....

[@ricardomurillo5205]

@@joequackenbush7972 and you don't want to be every woman's friend either. Once you have power and money you get the one you prefer. And if you have to choose between friendship and sex when you meet a beautiful woman what do you take? Sex obviously. It's in your nature

[@keroberos2781]

Actual answer: If there is no sexual tension from either side the answer is yes (gay, asexual, neither party finds the other attractive). Otherwise, no. It's a one sided friendship. The attracted party should put it in the table and decide what to do based on what the other party responds. My advice would be to get away from someone else if they don't reciprocate. Move on, friends aren't hard to make.

[@elkastico7727]

Just because they can be attracted doesn't mean they're attracted, you math expert

[@user-lv3gr8rv4q]

Stay humble and don’t fall into the temptation and make your message clear and humble that you want to remain and cherish the friendship that’s already made

[@kpfighter]

This is my personal opinion and from personal experience, but when you become good friends with a person from the opposite sex, you often develop feelings for each other. This does not mean one necessarily acts on those feelings but that undeniable attraction will always be there.

[@Gabrielle49]

which really is often bad, though. because you'll want to act on those hidden feelings.

[@kunzklingsor9156]

I'd bet my cigar, that in all these friendships one person wants sex, but since " HE" can't get it and loose the friendship, BS is the alternative. If it were up to the guys, they'd would have done the dirty long time ago. For countless guys, a pulse is all a woman needs to qualify.

[@waterbender19]

Friendship aspect is definitely great for the less pressure part... On the other hand, I feel romantic relationships in general should have less focus on sex :)

[@phucle2076]

Terrific video quality, terrible science. Conducting experiments like this create significant pressure for subjects to portray themselves in a different light. This setting prevents any responsible researcher/viewer from drawing a conclusion.

[@carultch]

Exactly. I think all the men are denying what they really want to say.

[@purvii2371]

According to my point of view the mother nature made us like that, the opposites always attract with each other (except LGBTQ) it's about hormones that you can't able to control and in 90% cases one person fall in love with another in opposite gender's friendship, but the thing is you have to acknowledge it that "yeah I'm attracted towards my friend and that's totally fine cause nature made me like that" and you have to admit it that it exists but you don't have to promote the attraction or lose the friendship by proposing her/him, you just have to admit it !! Secondly, you don't have to end the friendship just because you're attracted towards your friend doesn't mean the friendship ends. Friendship is the most priceless and valuable thing and with time you don't feel any attraction toward the other person !!

[@lena.lk9817]

Thank U!

[@APurpleFable]

I feel like true friendship requires attraction, in the sense that if you respect and admire your friend - which you kinda should - you may feel like they would make good relationship partners. My best friend is a guy, he's a cool dude and before we became friends, he wanted to go out with me, but I refused, first because I knew I was not his type, second because he was basically pursuing many girls at the same time and I found that really unattractive. It was a good thing that I refused. I am indeed absolutely not his type, and he tends to judge on appearance for romantic relationships, which I really don't like, but we work really well as friends. We can discuss without fear of judgement, which is pretty rare. I'm glad he is my best friend and I would not want this situation to change in any way :)

[@georgeaskeladd742]

I'm bisexual and I have friends of all genders. I've never felt any attraction to them. Somehow I only crush on people who aren't in my friend group.

[@meejjj.]

You see everyone has that one great and overall awesome friend from the opposite sex. We all think it's going okay, not knowing that one of them is actually carrying something that's just a tad bit more than a friendly attraction. That always makes things more complicated.

[@georgeogbuma1472]

Hmm

[@_susanathomas]

I may be wrong but seems like heterosexual friendships with the opposite sex are semi selfish in nature. In other relationships, it takes caring for others needs to work properly.

[@islamali681]

OMG I can't sleep because I just discovered Soulpancake, honestly amazing effort I loved you even though I sometimes have difficulties in understanding since English is not my native language and I still working on it but I usually got it at the end LOl.

[@mardasman428]

This is about heteros. I am gay and never had problems with this, however the hetero female friends sometimes did.

[@jessicasavage1651]

Heteros and bisexuals! Don't forget about us!

[@susantkumarnand9520]

It's tough especially for the person who is kinda your type of person. It's simple just keep it casual, know your limit well, define your boundary with each other. My experience says it's fun being around the same gender when you are looking for friendship. You never have to hold yourself from being who you are, and you don't have to analyse everything before you speak that what other person will think. With the opposite sex, it's very different bro! Not fun at all. Just fear that I might end up messing things up, losing a friend with whom you have invested time and emotion.

[@elkastico7727]

You have to hold yourself from being who you are when you are in front of opposite sex???

[@susantkumarnand9520]

@@elkastico7727Yes. We can't speak the same way we can do with same gender friend. We have to always think before saying something, like will it be offensive to say, will she take it other way, and it's not the same with your own gender friend. Amway this is my outlook on the topic of discussion.

[@elkastico7727]

@@susantkumarnand9520 Who "we"? I can speak the same way as to friends of the same sex, people I know usually have it also that way

[@susantkumarnand9520]

@@elkastico7727 Good for you man! IN LAST COMMENT I SHOULD HAVE REFERRED TO MYSELF. It's me not we.

[@Gansterboy]

Exactly!!! That's why I choose bromance over opposite gender friends For me it's better for women to be friends with same sex and friends with animals

[@campampates]

I'll save you the 9 minutes. The answer is NO. No man is close with a woman because of friendship. The real intent is physical companionship. Anything that merely resembles that is a waste of both their time, even though the man may be the only one to realize it.

[@joequackenbush7972]

Not true.. they care called single moms... I'm not going to get involved with one and do what it would take with her kids etc... I still appreciate talking to some of them I know are good people and seeing them from time to time.

[@elkastico7727]

You're generalizing men

[@youngstomach]

Subscribed to SoulPancake for The Science of Love, stayed subscribed to SoulPancake for The Science of Love. Keep these coming!

[@MariaPerez-sb1xp]

Ignorant people claim forbidding each other opposite sex friends indicates control and insecurity. No, I actually I am secure with myself. That's why I think I'm good enough as a partner and a friend. It's a form of respect. Emotionally bonding with the opposite sex just opens up pandora's box. I'm kind of rooting for people to get cheated on who are supposedly secure with themselves. He's like family or a childhood friend has a great track record of ending relationships.