Perception and Confidence | That's What She Said

SoulPancake partnered with Darling Magazine to have a series of conversations about some of the issues that women face on a daily basis. This episode is on perception and confidence. What inspires your confidence?
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Special Thanks To
Dominique Generaux
The Pie Hole Los Angeles
thepieholela.com
Typologie and Co.
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Rachel Craven
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West Elm
www.westelm.com
More from Natalie Patterson:
www.natalieispo...
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Producer/Director: Anabella Casanova
DP: Vanessa Joy Smith
Editors: Lis Bartlett and Cassidy Damore
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How do students react when high school boys are treated like women in Congress?? CLICK HERE to find out!
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[@aprilk2858]

The blonde woman, Mercedes (1:54) made me so sad. She is a natural beauty but somewhere along the way, she has been TRAINED to feel guilty when she receieves positive attention (flirtation, admiration, etc.). And I totally get that. We are trained to brush off compliments, and believe that we are not worthy of positive attention from others. That we are obliged to reject it, based on the false belief that we are 'not good enough'. I felt her pain. It resonated with me.

[@YeseniaR]

I agree with you. I almost cried when sge talked.

[@desertrose1053]

April K I agree with you, trained to be guilty. But rather this is the case with her since people were jealous of her and all she wanted was to feel accepted. She refused this positivity in order to get this acceptance, but of course that wouldn't happen. So sadly. please for girls like Mercedes, let your wings spread and fly! Embrace yourself and let the haters don't play a role in ur life and ur entire existence

[@aishwaryamohan731]

soon true!

[@sydwest3933]

Natalie Patterson you are a true inspiration.your gift with words is incredible!!

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

Thanks, Syd!!!

[@sydwest3933]

Ahh no problem.... I really think you are a hero! And I love every poem you do for the soul pancake series of that's what she said!

[@aishwaryamohan731]

+Natalie Patterson ur poem was tremendous it made me cry

[@RoboticScribble]

Just CAN'T get over Natalie's beautiful poetry every time!! Keep 'em comin'.

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

Thank you

[@TheHostForMyFolks]

natalie patterson Truly talented keep it up no matter what we need people like you here :) much love #womenpower lol

[@FilmStarification]

natalie patterson You are amazing, I felt every ounce of passion in those words and another poem on the last video I watched. Love it!

[@coreofapples6843]

I cry every single time I watch this channel, and I am a 19 year old guy from Georgia.

[@XximwishinxX]

"Align your actions with your intentions and watch your life become breathtaking." Love it.

[@Flustered_Potato]

I LOVED that poem! I want to print it and hang it in my wall somewhere.

[@615venus]

I was at a Women's Bible Study of all places, when our hostess shared that she is praying for women to not be catty with each other or jealous of one another. I had never heard a woman speak words like that. I came home and asked my husband why would a woman be jealous of another woman? I just didn't get it. It opened my eyes to this world that exists where women tear each other down. But we have a choice. The choice to love ourselves and want to be us and live our life. Don't ever feel like you have to be anyone else but you. Embrace who you are. Embrace your strengths and your weaknesses. Embrace your uniqueness because it makes you beautiful.

[@orangechucke]

For those who think words are harmless or "it was just a joke", think of these discussions before you judge others. Why can't we embrace our differences and find beauty outside of marketing images and centerfolds? Not every woman will look like a movie star or a porn star and not every guy will look like model or athlete but that is why life is so fun because we are all different. But no, we buy these magazines and watch these shows that say we are uncool unless we are size ones or wear their fashions and we mock people who are different whether it is size, shape, color, or whatever. I am 6'2 245 and I have never had 6 pack abs and I never will but I am happy in my skin and I wish more, especially our women, were as well. We need to show our young women that there is more to life than living up to some image and life is so short and so precious that we should embrace every moment and live happily as much as possible.

[@RobertMahar1]

Natalie Patterson is wondrous!

[@bayla2011]

I clicked this second video because of the impact Natalie Patterson's writing had on me and I'm so thankful to have had watched it. She gives me chills. Those women are so inspiring. Thank you soul pancake for this project.

[@DarienneEmpire]

Natalie...wow she is beautiful. All I could think while her passion fueled words pierced through me as I wept was "She doesn't even know the impact she's making, the beauty she's creating, the love that she's sharing...I wish she could truly know. She's just reading a poem from her heart on her iphone. " If only we all could know that about ourselves-what we can mean to a complete stranger, how we ARE changing lives & there would be no need for conversations like this. :)

[@allisonl2163]

Natalie Patterson should go on tour helping men and women alike achieve the self confidence they have tried to find for so long.

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

Just might!

[@staciemounts729]

Thank you for bringing back Natalie, love her and this series.

[@Participant]

Thank you Stacie! We are so thrilled to have Natalie on board, and to be able to share her poems in this series. For more from Natalie, visit: www.natalieispoetry.com/

[@g0blyn]

"... I dare you." Man oh man, always so powerful; I love it! Natalie is something else, definitely an easy source of inspiration for me.

[@ddaversa09]

I want to be friends with Natalie. I'm loving this series, SoulPancake!

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

um.. then be my friend. Let's start with twitter or instagram... or send me a email!

[@Eastview2]

"Too busy being scared to be great" Oh my, Ms. Natalie Patterson, you are so lovely You break my heart with truth, and bless it with hope. So happy you found your voice. Love, love, love this.

[@Fireandice2717]

Natalie, I have never been as moved by poetry as I have been with this and the "I Have a Beautiful Body" ones. You're absolutely incredible.

[@Rookie_Rockounding]

Again, that poem, that girl! She speaks for people! Not just herself, not just women and the little girls they are inside, but for us too. Us men, and the little boys we are inside. Beautiful soulpancake! Beautiful!

[@mojoworldtraveler]

That spoken word at the end? Breathtakingly beautiful. I'm literally in tears. Thank you, Natalie Patterson, for sharing that!

[@elysehagen9167]

Natalie's spoken word gives me chills every time! #preachgirlpreach

[@idomagirlabahi7786]

That spoken word is the truth! Yasssssss! Preach it girl!

[@Crucis119]

:') Happy tears. Natalie, the truth in your words breaks my heart. So much. Thank you. ♥♡♥♡

[@empen8623]

Natalie truly inspires my day

[@tatianatift]

Natalie your poems are absolutely beautiful

[@doT03]

Natalie is amazing!

[@gabbyhensley2581]

Natalie's poems speak to me every time. My life feeds off of That's What He Said

[@lipsticktattoos]

Oh my! I don't know whether its because I had less then 4 hours sleep last night due to my son, but Natalie's speech had me tearing up! I'm 24 and my entire life i absolutely hated my body and myself, but last August I finally said, no, enough of feeling like that! I deserve better, my son deserves a happy mummy, I'm making changes to finally be the person I have always wanted to be. Last night for the first time I looked in the mirror and thought to myself 'I look pretty' and I meant it.

[@samuri2011]

i stopped watching cable a long time ago in my sophmore year of highschool and i havnt missed it since. I watch a lot of asian dramas and its just such a different feeling watching a show from a different country, and something that doesnt have commercials about this and that in the middle of the show. i never noticed how different body perception and image was around the world until i experienced a different media culture from asia. how they perceive womanly characteristics here versus in asia is just so different and something I didnt know a lot about. just goes to show that your environment does greatly impact how we view ourselves.

[@TheYukochi]

I seriously love Natalie at the end. She is such a motivation and is so beautiful. She inspires me.

[@happyhav]

Natalie Patterson, I can't listen without tears--of recognition and of joy. I recognize my "stuff" but I feel the possibility of liberation! Thank you!!!

[@lolkt1999]

Natalie is amazing. You should have her come back every week. She makes my week better. I guess I would have to say my friends help me become more confident. I love them so much for helping me realize I am beautiful and I need to let me be myself. This video was great. Thank you soulpancake!

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

Keep watching....

[@Jess_Adler]

Natalie Patterson - you are amazing. Your spoken word and poetry is the next piece in the never-ending puzzle that I have found in my own self acceptance. I am glad that SoulPancake has had you in these two videos and I hope they will have you in many more. I also hope that other young women will see you, will hear you, will read your work, and will be inspired to show a little more self compassion, as well as compassion to those in our lives.

[@XxOverAndOver6xX]

As a huge fan of spoken word with a huge playlist dedicated to it, I've got to say that hearing Natalie gives me goosebumps and I just really love her work on these videos so far. Other writers like Natalie inspire me to be confident enough in my writing to share it with others

[@91Neli]

I cried to Natalie's words. I'm speechless right now... because it was so good. Sometimes I'm filled with insecurities, low self-esteem and social anxiety to such extent that I forget who I am. Just want to be appreciated by people. Thank you, this made me realize that I should value myself no matter what.

[@sisideblanc2959]

NATALIEEEEEEE! She is so inspiring! After I watched her section I just applauded and shouted, "Hallelujah! Well said. I needed that." I want and need to hear more from her, PLEEEEEEASE!

[@rofhole]

this is the most awesome thing i've seen in my entire life, seriously.

[@rofhole]

totally

[@heidiormikeschmutz9364]

G m no o

[@notrosyenough]

Natalie Patterson's words brought me to tears. She's truly incredible along with all the other women.

[@lajean3275]

Wow! I wish I had a group of women that I could have this kind of honest discourse with!

[@iD4rkAngel]

Natalie inspires me so much, thank you! I feel more confident when I have the knowledge and I can shut up people that judge my appearance when I speak

[@nonkululekomokoena8210]

Back here. 6 years later. Then mother of 1 now mother of 3 kids later still, needed this reminder.

[@puppy8044animation]

I'm crying right now. The words Natalie spoke were so powerful, so moving. I WILL be applying this to my life.

[@OrangeySmoothie]

"Sometimes it shares your face and claims to love you." Wow. Thank you Natalie

[@alvabmakeup3926]

Loved hearing 7:09 when I was actually laying in bed eating chips. This is amazing

[@circlenostar]

YES! This is amazing.

[@jonathanblevins5253]

I loved this and the girl who did spoken word was AMAZING !!!

[@alixm3833]

Exactly what I needed to hear. I would watch Natalie's part at least once every morning if I had the time; it's the perfect reminder that we're all an impossible miracle and don't need to make our lives about other people's opinions. I love it.

[@pandorasmindbox]

Natalie's words never fail to move me. Thank you, those 'rules' need to be said more often.

[@jonassamuel4376]

I am not a woman, But i am so grateful that these videos exist, it can be really tought for females of all age these days, especially if you have no one to talk about it! Thank you so much! participants, soulpancake and everyone who shares this and is part of this spreading to as many humans around the world. Two related videos about interesting scientific studies to strengthen my case: 1. "The Weird Way Women Downplay Their Success" 2. "Why Girls are so Mean" The live as a femal is in many ways far more complex and difficult, i know so many females who have such a disturbed self perception, because of cultural preasure and lack of information :(. (this applies in different ways to male's as well, but they appear to suffer/realise this far less, because of their ignorance increased self perception/testosterone, no i'm not feminist males are awesome in their own ways :), But females are as well :)! ) Keep it up, i'm looking forward to all the parts following!

[@sanajaved6757]

This series has changed me. It's made me realize that everyone, EVERYONE is beautiful. And I am beautiful too

[@staceyballard5567]

Amazing and inspiring, I need to listen to the spoken words of Natalie every morning, to "leave my own skin behind and make myself new wings" thank you Natalie. I loved the women talking around the table and being interviewed on the street, we need more of that.....hearing the honest words from other women.

[@gwaben2009]

the spoken word at the end killed it. Go girl!

[@AmyGDala-bn2vl]

As a woman, I've never struggled with body issues and I'm so thankful for that. I always wonder if it comes from growing up in a household where I was never exposed to media. We didn't watch much television, I didn't read magazines, etc. But in Middle School I accepted that I was never going to be considered a pretty girl. Now in my 20s, I do consider myself pretty, but I don't have body issues. What motivates me is the pursuit of knowledge. I feel good when I treat others fairly and I remember my place in the world.

[@itscatmansouri]

Okay there could not have been a better time for me to hear this. All of it. It's so beautiful to see women share with no other intention than helping each other understand the human condition. And the spoken word gave me chillssssss seriously.

[@momosyabi]

The last girl was so amazing she has the ability to talk to our hearts.. Go ahead girls.. Be strong.. Be confident and getting real comfortable with not giving a f*** to those who don't know the real value of women.. Go ahead and change the world..

[@No0neButMe]

I can't stop watching this, especially Natalie Patterson's poem at the end. It was amazing, Love everything about it. so much emotion in every word, facial expression, and movement. Loved. You guys should have a video like this for guys.. coming from a guy. It would be great to watch.

[@zelle11]

Natalie's words are really powerful. Thank you for the reminder. Again, thankyou.

[@professthesidekick]

Okay, I didn't realize I was crying until after the video when I noticed my face was wet. Really inspiring, so thanks. c:

[@FrisbeeGirl]

The woman with the awesome fuschia top knot said so many things I think nearly every day on many levels. I totally breathed a huge sigh of, "Yeah, I know, right?!"

[@aishatha1st486]

Natalie Pattersons poems are the most real words I've heard in such a long time. She's amazing.

[@eschwarzhans]

Natalie is awe inspiring, she is more than I can describe. Thank you

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

Thank you

[@kucumber1]

Goodness! Natalie brings a smile to my face, which now a days seems rare. I wish I could hug her.

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

AIR HUG!!!

[@alisoncrawford1141]

I absolutely love Natalie's poetry. Simply beautiful.

[@rachelroeber7159]

What inspires my confidence? My flaws are what make me beautiful. My personality makes me beautiful. My flaws reflect my personality. I am beautiful, and I know it.

[@ModernVeda]

Natalie and her poetry are beyond amazing. Her poetry workshops are transformative and every woman should experience them. Really. I love this woman.

[@ellinorhansson7118]

What inspires my confidence? That's freaking poem! Awesomesauce

[@jungle007fly]

This is so amazing. Breath taking, tear creating, soul shaking. Natalie Patterson’s words are everything. Thank you. I will share this one for sure. Everyone should hear this. Thank you. 💓

[@riconico6791]

that spoken word was just what i needed to hear.... thank you Natalie

[@k.gelhart7938]

Wow, Natalie Patterson just gave me goosebumps. Incredible video. Incredible speaker.

[@AimeeKristensen]

I absolutely love this series. It's so empowering and unifying. And Natalie Paterson knocks my socks off she is so talented and awesome. Please don't stop making these, they are amazing and I think every woman should watch this and learn from this.

[@minmouse1345]

This is beautiful! Soulpancake, please don't stop making these. I love them. Thank you. Natalie's words are so inspiring. I hope she becomes a famous poet or something. Thank you, again.

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

i hope so too!!! tell everyone!

[@alliebradley1058]

Beautiful spoken word Natalie! I guess my confidence is inspired by my drive to be successful. Confidence can be born from having firm goals and a plan on how to get to where you want to be. Also, being a baha'i, I gain confidence from knowing that God had placed me on this earth for a special reason and that I am his beloved creation!

[@FantashticIdeas]

Please do a whole segment with Natalie's poetry. I cry every time because she is so beautiful and her mastery of words inspire my confidence.

[@Meybroz]

Oh, Natalie.. Your words will forever resonate with me (even as a guy). So beautiful.

[@eugeniafastova]

if that doesn't make you feel beautiful, confident and capable of anything i don't know what would! we should be carefull with our judgements and be ready to prove what we see is true... the poem is absolutely gorgeous, i was literary feeling every single word! GO, NATALIE!

[@emelytorres4046]

Natalie's words are absolutely amazing in every way and the way she speaks them with confidence gives me goosebumps...

[@mbell2790]

Please make more of these videos. Please please please!!!! Feels great to watch other women come together and have an intelligent conversation.

[@queen.bee.03]

Natalie's speech....wow....no words can't even touch what I want to express after hearing that. She's awesome!

[@annbond6169]

I had tears in my eyes with the poem. I have mostly always been uncomfortable with myself and I am old enough to know better. Thank you for this. I am sending it to my daughters and all of my girlfriends.

[@SamiEdgerton]

Holy cow. Natalie is an artist with words. i love these; it such a vital reminder of who we are and the people we can become, the people we want to become.

[@marloessss]

Natalie Patterson is so cool. Seriously, I adore her words.

[@chewycactus]

i am truly hoping that natalie patterson has a permanent spot in this segment very powerful and amazing speaker and she just does a good job of tying together the table talk love this segment btw!

[@sonamtkd1485]

Natalie Patterson you are awesome..you made me cry :'(

[@dangerouslypurple1]

I want to perform this poem at my high school talent show because its the biggest event iof the year and it'll get to so many people at my school who have confidence issues like me. I hope she doesn't mind! Great video and great spoken word poem!

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

DO IT, I DARE YOU! (then send me the video)

[@LittleMissSpitfire12]

Natalie, you're fantastic. I hope you realize this. You are a truly special person and I hope you know that. Keep on being you because unlike my friends and neighbors who strive to be like the girl in the magazine, I wanna strive to be like you!!

[@cheeseristical]

That poem at the end was amazing. Thank you soul pancake for always making me feel better. Your videos are an inspiration.

[@Apunanwu_Adaeke]

Thank you Natalie and as always....thank you soulpancake!

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

Thank you for watching.

[@nagikokiyohara]

Cheers Darling Magazine, this is a great conversation that women need to keep having. I adored this.

[@Lemsip215]

Goosebumps when Natalie says ' I dare you.' Powerful message!

[@LeeKiwiMusic1]

"We are women of something greater, speak and the universe will react, align your actions with intentions and watch your life become as breath-taking as sunset. I dare you." best lines evverrrrrr

[@highqualityblond]

The inspiration for my confidence is my sister Jackie, when ever I need just a little helping hand, I ask myself, what would Jackie say? She has never left my side, She is my best friend, She is my sister. We have both gone through unspeakable horrors that no one dares to even talk about to this day. She is my foundation. Never stop being yourself Jackie, no matter how hard things get, you will always have your little Katey-did here for you! I love you so much Jackie, I never get to tell you that as much as I want to. I miss you and I just want you to know, that from my whole heart, thank you.

[@margotinthemoonlight]

Am I going to cry every episode? If so I don't care, it's great! Keep doing these please, it makes me feel so much hope for humanity and the future of women everywhere.

[@sweetmusicbaby100]

I am in love with these and Natalie's incredibly moving poems. I just bought 2 of her books. Please please keep making these.

[@TheCookiekitten]

SoulPancake is the cleaner, purer, more practical, more beautiful, more meaningful, *better* version of Buzzfeed. Thanks SoulPancake, for believing respect is more valuable than virality.

[@musicmyfriend007]

*Happy face* to all these ladies and NATALIE!!

[@AcadienGirl]

I love this section of your channel. I feel this is one of the few places where I can view and experience what women think, feel and speak about, what it is to be a women. Also, bring Natalie back for more. I like her poems, her voice and emotions.

[@Participant]

Thank you for your kind words! We are really happy to be able to have these conversations and share them with you. We agree with you - we love Natalie so much. (She will definitely be back for more!)

[@lachicacolocha]

That last part really brought me tears and inner motivation. It was very empowering and just plain awesome. Her voice projected the fierce and bold truth about women. We look at ourselves and hate what we are. We look at each other and want appearances that our simply not ours. Yet when we listen to these words of motivation to accept and be happy with who we are it's difficult because at that moment you feel like "Fuck yeah I'm going to do me. I am who I am" then later you realize that it's harder than it seems because that fear of constant judgement is lingering in your spine and creeping its way into your way of thinking, overriding the motivation to accept yourself. It's a slow process to feel comfortable in your skin, but I'm sure that once that day comes many of us will feel like idiots for being afraid of not doing it sooner.

[@priciladelgado3412]

I love Natalie's poems and I was at her page the other day and they are awesome.

[@wanja1594]

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!! Natalie,..Encore!! This makes me so proud to be a woman...Flaws and all!

[@ZGwoo888]

Great vid,Natalie's poetry is awesome!!!

[@nataliepattersonpoetry]

Thank you.

[@Hannahlovestolaugh]

This series is like a breath of fresh air.

[@hannahhunter4679]

Please never stop this series. Ever.