SPACE STATION 13: ZIM ZAM (For Larger Bones!)

[@medicindisquise4271]

This is proper corporate liaison gameplay: Passive Agressive Bureaucractic Warfare

[@banebeard]

Tbh this is the only legitimate use of corporate resources. Anything else is ludicrous

[@bubbasbigblast8563]

Chat: screaming about some mutiny. Checkers: Arguing about cupcakes with corporate. ---- Chat: Talking about some secret documents they managed to grab. Checkers: Arguing about a door. ---- Chat: Defcon level rises due to increased threat. Checkers: Making a drug lab. --- Chat: "THEY'RE IN THE VENTS!" Checkers: Loading up his cigar with 'vitamins.' --- Chat: "WE'RE GETTING FLANKED BY ALIENS!" Checkers: Being profiled by security. Chat: "THE WHOLE ARMY IS GOING DOWN ON US!" Checkers: "The police are on to us." --- Chat: Marine screaming in pain from losing his hand in battle. Checkers: Talking about becoming a god through drugs.

[@Nixolas_Zinn]

A normal day on ss13

[@level12fighter]

"I have a pistol permit, I wrote it myself" is one of the best things I've heard in SS13 in a long time.

[@Ozymandias2x]

The petty corporate bickering is magical. I love it. EDIT: You know what? This entire episode is a fantastic parade of comedic wonders. It has raised my mood through the roof, and I want you to know that I appreciate it.

[@dzikdziki2983]

Same. I haven't laughed out loud like this in a long time. Thanks.

[@dirgesinger1382]

The Maple Bacon Log (tm) (self heating) Returns in all its infamy.

[@andrewbrowning1931]

It looks the same coming out as it does going in!

[@charlesborden8111]

@@andrewbrowning1931 and it's still warm! LOL

[@Kingofdragons117]

Is that afrom a specific video?

[@slr4201]

"Nobody likes them, Karen. And now it is part of company record." 3 minutes in and I can tell this one's gonna be good

[@irradiatedslagheap7933]

I desperately need to hear Discount Dan advertise Zim Zam now

[@heavymetalfishingla]

Please Tex, Discount Dan needs to start selling drugs

[@robintst]

Some of the best interactions I've seen from other crew with Checkers on CM, Ivors was a great partner in crime.

[@MrGrimsmith]

I clicked as soon as I saw, then saw the length of the video... Weee! Checkers as CL? Nothing could *possibly* go wrong.

[@DH8PU]

A copy machine is not a door! Things Tex teaches me!

[@Sh4dowFawx]

My life is changed, I've been crawling over the paper tray for months!

[@yourallygod8261]

just like how the filling machine IS NOT A RINSING MACHINE AND THE RINSING MACHINE IS NOT A FILLING MACHINE but people still get that mixed up ( if need be i can link vid i refference)

[@Dr-Weird]

In the grim darkness of the far future There is only HR

[@heavymetalfishingla]

HR. Scarier than the Tyranid menace ever will be

[@Lovethrust]

I think this was a particularly good one, Tex! Entertaining all the way through, but i especially liked the attempted bribe on the officer with the classic ''leaving money and not looking'' trope. Good to see that it's already been placed in the ''Best of SS13'' playlist, definitely deserves it's spot!

[@theblackpantslegion]

some folks recommended it for that, and I agree

[@runei355]

Zim Zam! The male and/or female performance enhancing vitamin!

[@ThatConfused1]

"Per corporate policy, any further inquiry into demanding resupply of the Maple Bacon Breakfast Log (self heating) will result in the inquirer to report to voluntary testing of the new and improved Pancake Maple Bacon Wrap (chilled variant) after signing all compliant legal waivers absolving corporate liability resolving around accidental dismemberment and death to volunteer tester. Security is to mandate obligated voluntary testing of said inquirer." - Admin

[@macfryling8421]

This should 100% be in the best of list. I was dead from laughter about 10 minutes in. And then it kept getting better and better and I couldn't stop. Keep on doing awesome Tex and everyone!

[@byronswain7569]

I want extra sparkles on my Zim Zam Zim Zam: Smoke your way to bigger bones!

[@soapdictator1735]

Three minutes in and a CL already insulted people further up the chain multiple times. I like where this is going.

[@enderoctanus]

Dr. Scott Ivors, what a legend, what a chad, what a MAD LAD.

[@majnabunny]

Kinda reminds me of a drug i saw in dark horse's Aliens comics, it was originally made out of jelly extracted from the Xenomorph queen and could make people work like a horse buffing their strength and endurance alongside other affects. But without a living queen on hand they eventually had to synthesise the Queen jelly and cocked up badly, in that about 5 percent of people that took the stuff made from the substitute jelly turned into frothing madmen able to rip men's arms out of their sockets punch through concrete and go psycho so hard they would die hours later from both organ and cardiovascular failure..... naturally the military loved it. And it was called Xeno-zip avp.fandom.com/wiki/Xeno-Zip

[@Maddiemoo246]

This one belongs on the best of, 100% Has me giggling so hard. Love it.

[@floorsuck9715]

I enjoyed finding out Randolph's middle name. Check one off the bucket list

[@tssteelx]

"I like here bake goods." Oooooo it's on.

[@craigbauer7793]

Oh boy more BPL story time. Best part of the day

[@Mr.Efreet]

First time ever have I ever was excited for a corporate fax.

[@buckfoxursoul]

I have an electrician buddy who loves the title of "Electricity Doctor". He sends his thanks.

[@ChocorocK]

Oh god, the passive aggression, it makes me grit my teeth on reflex. So real, amazing.

[@GretchenDawntreader]

"I will have you know, sir, that that copy machine standing in for a door has a safety factor of seven."

[@DIEGhostfish]

I originally skipped ahead like 7 minutes to the main Zim Zam plot, going back to the fax war was amazing.

[@DarwinsPigeon]

In times of work stress where I am stuck at a computer for 14 hours a day, I return to these HOURS upon HOURS of casual chatter, screams, and fart noises to make me feel like I'm not suffering alone. Thanks to all those that have made and continue to make this stuff fun.

[@gregmason2434]

Long after the fact i know... but i keep coming back to this as my all time favorite

[@justmutantjed]

Did you know that there's a pre-made bloody mary mix called "Zing Zang"? I kept thinking of that while you were going on about it during the episode. Then I jumped to caffeinated bloody mary. I'm pretty sure there's a reason they don't make Four Loko with caffeine anymore, but uh... well, bloody marys (maries? I dunno, English needs a 2.0 patch) are already regarded as breakfast drinks. Makes sense to add a bit of that good ol' fashioned Zim-Zam to it.

[@glytchd]

This is Fantastic Work. Thank you Good Sir. You are a Riot! Had me in stitches once even! :D

[@Kelux]

This was amazing. I was enthralled for the entire video.

[@Hurricanelive]

The story is so crazy I'd probably believe it as no one could possibly fabricate such wild tales. If you were saying something that at least sounded normal then I'd probably be suspicious.

[@Thfoxpz]

How this server has changed... I thank everyone who played during 2017-2018 when I was present, I didn't know when I left, I wouldn't see those familiar names again when I come back, Godspeed

[@theblackpantslegion]

It was, like many things, a magic era. Once. The greatest episodes of CM I recorded are "It is noted" and "Weyland Yutani, Making better breakfasts" and "The Xenos-Human Hybrid" It was brief. That magic period. We shall not see its like again. The tides have drowned it.

[@thecooldoge6343]

“YOUR CALLING ME STUPID?” comedy gold

[@codyblea3638]

Tex, demanding someone make your own special cocktail of PCP and cocaine, and then make a fucking dipper with a fine cigar. I want to see that episode of cops, PCP laced Cuban.

[@olivialambert4124]

ZimZam. Strong tremors for strong bones. I'll take two.

[@thefallingstuff]

"How many times can you double down in character?" "...yes"

[@theblackpantslegion]

Yes

[@accidentalvr4576]

It is noted

[@thefallingstuff]

@@accidentalvr4576 It is Noted.

[@cycoticmongoose]

@@thefallingstuff IT IS NOTED

[@chriswoodend2036]

This is going to be one of the legendary ones. *clap*

[@GyprockGypsy]

I was eating a bowl of cereal when I started watching this and I almost died.

[@Jiveloaf]

lmao this chief engineer "...I think it's helping."

[@theblackpantslegion]

well, kind of, right?

[@jordansmith4040]

Such great shenanigans.

[@heavymetalfishingla]

So my screen door is broken, won't stay closed. Should I get a Xerox or a Toshiba to replace it? Wife wants a Canon but they're so pricey...

[@Spoidah]

The initial corporate bickering was great, though I was secretly hoping they'd escalate the argument when you dissed Karen again.

[@Pink_Noodle]

Them sending a cleanup team would have been funny

If it ain't Corporate HQ back chatting Checkers, its the damn Engineer busting his door. Checkers just cannot get a break. Also I swear the word Vitamins was said like 50 times in just one conversation.

[@Screaminglyjolly]

Man, good episode, I needed that Zim.

[@OriginalOmgCow]

This is your best work, literally genius

[@theblackpantslegion]

Glad you think so!

[@deadskrillaskrit2078]

Whacky music check Meta gaming check Anger towards HR check These alone make for a good video

[@the_ttr]

Now i need tex to write up all my correspondence in my work. OMG, 3 mins in this and i literary flipped chair and myself in it included. Thank You :)

[@theblackpantslegion]

Welcome

[@magenta4926]

Aw yiss more spessmans Look it's Weston-Yamada, this means this is recent!

[@Bee_Tea_Sea]

embiggened bones sound like a nice thing to possess

[@EzekialRagel]

Laughing till I cry. One of your best rounds.

[@abaddonblack1294]

You've made the greatest mistake that any drug manufacturer makes. You sampled your own product.

[@thatoneleftist]

The fuckery is STRONK haha! Always such a pleasure, Tex. Edited to add: "It's like a door!" caused me to shoot espresso out of my nose. I'd do it again 10/10 times.

[@theblackpantslegion]

It's not a door.

[@cody5535]

Didn't expect today to laugh for almost 50 minutes strait but here we are

[@theblackpantslegion]

Sounds like you need some ZIM ZAM

[@cycoticmongoose]

@@theblackpantslegion I took some and now I have many, exceptionally large thinking bones. And double my other bones. Thank you for the vitamins Mr. Checkers!

[@Sherudons]

Eventually.. it always devolves into criminality, drugs or gun running... with a chance of brain damage from said items. Always pleasant.

[@Ultrawup]

Tex, did you just try to infringe on my intellectual property? I have been making *Zoom!* or months! You'll hear from my lawyers about this!

[@sordcooper2]

im guessing that the marines won that round. not just because this video didnt end with the station being over run, but because of the power of ZIM ZAMS was too much for them

[@nikolaibaughman8828]

I love this edit style

[@gallendugall8913]

Try the Maple Bacon Breakfast Log. Goes in as a log and comes out as a log - that's the Maple Bacon Breakfast Log!

[@Warficus]

this one killed me, great work!

[@a.gravemistake3061]

"Get your zimzam ass the fuck out of here" still makes me laugh.

[@alexanderstanfield5845]

Having a corporate argument about cupcakes during a xeno incursion is peak ss13

[@theblackpantslegion]

well, yes.

[@8-7-styx94]

I couldn't make it all the way through, my coworkers are looking at me funny cause I'm dyeing from the skittles. I'm blue now... but my extra larges bones.. which I now have, are splendid. Thank you mr CL. Now shut up and take my money.

[@JohnVicres]

out of all of Tex's SS13 vids, the space marine ones are supreme. Either deltarding or being CLiaison. Fight me, but it's better than vanilla SS13

[@dopeskone]

Im fucking dying rn. That opening letter.

[@DwarfElvishDiplomacy]

Still less shady than real life vitamin products

[@umdadvocate]

Also, a six-minute course in legalese is really all you need. - UMD Advocate, IRL Law Shaman

[@DwarfElvishDiplomacy]

This is an instant classic

[@PerfectDeath4]

The zim zam must flow!

[@BadWizardGaming]

I'm just giggling like a goober this entire video. Probably because I'm on ZIM ZAM™

[@steveejohnson7932]

This was a very good episode of RP Checkers the corporate spokesman and expert crack smoker

[@gagidoo4757]

you make zim zam sound like calcium but better

[@Dave96939]

This was hilarious Also surprised the title screen had nothing to do with copy machine doors as Randolph wouldn't stop bitching half the episode

[@worstcasualever]

You can OD on vitamins, it's called Hypervitaminosis :P

[@Thekentuckyrebel]

Laughed to hard, dropped my hotdog.

[@hakuzoable]

I can't believe you've done this

[@raynejx2]

is this what goes on in the background of a CM game? i always saw a lot of chatter outside of the actual soldiers in the comms, but i had no idea that an entire thing was running in the background. this fkn game X3

[@kaysimpson]

Zim Zam EXTREME!

[@bthsr7113]

I can't speak for Karen, but buttercream frosting is delicious, and I will have you know that. As is good zucchini bread. Middling day, sir.

[@thishonestgrifter]

Buttercream is the best icing, but would you really trust buttercream, ON zucchini bread?

[@banebeard]

Never back down on bad baked goods.

[@nechronom8269]

What, did CM get a cease and desist or something? Can they not use the Weyland-Yutani name anymore or something?

[@theblackpantslegion]

That's my assumption.

[@tranz2deep]

I had to pause when I realize Randolph was exiled to the "special" section. I mean, what next, people straddling Checkers' door to copy their anatomical details in lieu of knocking?

[@jimmyd142]

ZIM ZAM for bigger bones indeed. But isn't Randolph a robot? I think I remember that being the reason for the corporate exile, not the self heating breakfast logs. Or maybe it was those frisbees? I can't remember, honest.

[@300lbsNick]

I want to buy a coffee table book of the "Randolph P Checkers Guide to Life"

[@theblackpantslegion]

It's not gonna be a good book

[@redcastlebowser4179]

The only reason that bacon log, self heating failed is because of the maple part....and thats coming from a Canadian.

[@SunTzuLao]

Where can one find some of this "Zim Zam" asking for discount Dan, who as you know doesn't deal in flim flam cause he's discount Dan.

[@ltgengeorgewalls1268]

Officially nice.

[@BILLTHORPE]

early morning viewing :)

[@byronswain7569]

Fantastic.

[@Validechos]

Got to appeal to the hard working every day man-child

[@USSRBot]

Good Job

[@NullElemental]

When i watch this shit i have an immediate need to start typing epic responses FUCK I NEED TO START GETTING IN THIS SHIT

[@rogueoperations2016]

"I know how to get away with things, deny everything, sue everyone" Clearly he read the Art of the Deal

[@_ergdev]

i love this one

[@ThePencilOfChewed]

i heard CORSAT is in TWOBULE

[@C4Hertz]

Spoiler Warning if for some reason you read the comments before watching the whole video Astoundingly, Tex didn't end up foraying out onto the planet surface this time, or have the drop ship taken over, or get mauled by xenos or killed by the MPs.

[@wartang]

Do not watch while driving. Did they ever get back to you about the baked goods?

[@dopeskone]

Why am I getting notification a day late. Damnit KZbin.

[@theblackpantslegion]

you got one, that's more than most