Spice Girl Mel B: From Girl Power to Powerless "It Took Me 10 Yrs to BREAK FREE & Learn This Lesson"

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It’s Lisa Bilyeu and I’m soooo frikin’ excited to share this episode of Women of Impact with you today!!
Today’s guest has been singing about “GIRL POWER” since the 90s, but secretly dealt with abuse in her toxic marriage for 10 YEARS. She tried to leave SO MANY TIMES but kept going back to him and the vicious cycle of abuse before she finally got her power to leave, once and for all!!
It’s the inspiring, cheat-print-wearing, the one and only “Scary Spice” of the Spice Girls, Mel B!!
She is getting so real and honest about how she finally escaped the abuse FOR GOOD and took back her power AND how now she’s helping spread the word and support the strong, amazing abuse survivors allllll around the world.
Mel is here to help us spot the warning signs and GET OUT of toxic relationships before it's too late.
We cover soooo much in this interview, including:
- Why the abuser is SO GOOD at hunting you down & controlling you
- How abuse slowly sneaks up on you and why IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT
- The 15 signs of what abuse looks like
- Why it’s SO HARD to break the abuse cycle and how 1 promise Mel made actually helped her to leave FOR GOOD
- The 2 words Mel has for ANYONE stuck in an abusive relationship
- How shame and guilt will keep you trapped & hiding the toxic parts of your relationship
- How to deal with the 2 questions you will be asked again and again after you stop hiding the abuse and leave
- Why you should ALWAYS listen to your gut intuition
So homies, listen to Mel B and don’t let your shame, guilt, and denial keep you abused, used, and trapped in misery!!!
It’s time to stand up and take your GIRL POWER back and never let someone take it from you again!!!
Chapter Markers:
🧠 [00:00] Know yourself & evolve
❌ [6:18] The shame, guilt, and fear of abuse
👎 [14:45] Isolation & taking control
🚩 [23:57] 15 signs of abuse
❤️‍🩹 [35:24] Support & healing after you leave
👉 [46:18] Bonus Episode: Milck
***Bonus Episode: Stand Up & Set Boundaries for Yourself with Milck***
Keep watching for a BONUS conversation with my homie Milck, who is sharing her tactical steps for women like her to come into their own, find their voice, and become a voice for others. She also exposes the greatest lie we tell ourselves keeping us broken in toxic relationships, how to break away from feeling trapped in patterns of abuse, and the power of personal responsibility.
🔥 MEL B’S FIERY QUOTES:
"I was so riddled with embarrassment and shame and guilt because I had kids that, you know, I'm raising and trying to protect them from this guy during that marriage. And it's a strange place that you find yourself.“
“Abusers, they won't stop abusing until you stop them, until you get away."
"I mean, if, you know, an abuser doesn't start abusing you straight away, they make sure that they've got you in a great, beautiful position where you are just in love with that person. You know, they can't say anything wrong. They're just showering you with compliments, and they're your rock and they're there for you. And then bit by bit, it just starts to change..."
"When you're being abused, it doesn't just happen to you. It kind of filters out to your friends, your family, and they see that you're being isolated, but you don't see it straight away."
“Anybody that's left abuse has trauma, and trauma is not going to go away lightly. It's not ever going to completely go, but it can get smaller."
"And I didn't realize how badly abused I'd been until it came to me sitting down with Louise, my dear friend, and trying to piece my life together, because I was still in denial and I was still full of shame and guilt."
Follow Mel B:
Website: www.womensaid.org.uk/
Instagram: / officialmelb
Get Your Copy of “Brutally Honest”: geni.us/brutallyhonestpb
Follow Milck:
Website: www.milckmusic.com/
Instagram: / milckmusic
TikTok: / milckmusic
Follow Me, Lisa Bilyeu:
Website: www.radicalconfidence.com/
Instagram: / lisabilyeu
Facebook: / lisabilyeu
X: / lisabilyeu
If you want to dive deeper into my content, search through every episode, find specific topics I've covered, and ask me questions. Go to my Dexa page: dexa.ai/lisabilyeu
Themes: Confidence, Relationships, Business, Mental Health, Self-Improvement

[@Sweetpea-2023]

OMG! this resonated! This is so similar to my story. I was an officer of a public company before 40 and was still used, abused and left broken by my covert abuser husband after a 12 year marriage. Unfortunately this happens more often than people realize. Go girl power!!!

[@essiewatts]

Same, mine was mental, emotional and financial, i am still recovering in some ways but God is good. You begin to question your sanity coz some of them claim you are the abuser..lol and you think maybe you imagined all of it and they are right. I hated going home and i fought back verbally but it took a toll.

[@susanford2388]

I was married to my 1st husband in 1987 & in 1991 I knew I was miserable, I was ok at work, but miserable at home. I ended the marriage in 1992. I was very hurt but knew it was for the best. 20 years later I started to understand he had been mentally abusing me. I was listening to a podcast by chance in 2012 & thought "Oh that sounds like John, OMG! he did that, & that & that". I got a new job & left the country in 1997. I have no idea what happened to him. I don't want to know.

[@sandrasuarez5870]

I’m so glad we are ‘Breaking the Silence’ on these abusers. ❤ Let’s gooooooooo!!!!

[@LisaBilyeu]

WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

[@stargazer2019]

Ahh you should have asked her how many women shes beaten up in her past... took me an hot second to find a news report only in 2016 where she talks about attacking shaznay lewis... actually she brags about it 🤦‍♀️ but thats okay because she a victim now. How can someone talking against domestic violence previously finding it funny when she trys to rip the weave of a fellow black woman off. Its actually insulting to me.

[@AprilKudwa]

Abuse is a rotation - it travels and from one tier to the next, one soul to the next and transfers in such a powerful way. Healing is the key to all of it.

[@themermaidjade]

Mel B you are a Goddess, thank you for sharing your story. I hope women all over the world hear it and have the courage to stand up and choose themselves ❤

[@barbieiscute]

No, she is not a goddess. Shut up and stop idolizing people.

[@dakine4238]

My mom actually did this to me because I was living a better life than her and she just broke me down and used me to the point of me attempting suicide so it's not only romantic relationships. I've always looked up to Mel. It can happen to anyone and so glad she is speaking about this.

[@SB-ss5ih]

True. I had it from Everyone else one after the other after leaving the abuser

[@dakine4238]

@@SB-ss5ih It sucks it makes us more susceptible but I hope you were able to find safety and safe people.

[@christinebuckingham8369]

Narcissists abuse anyone that’s closest to them in their life, whether it’s family, frenemies, co-workers, “romantic” partners, etc. Narcissists Are Abusers in many ways, to anyone they can use and control. Their main targets are those who love and care about them. Wishing you peace, healing, self-respect and self-compassion and happiness in life moving forward. 💗🌷🙏🌷💗 Wishing the same to us all as well! 💗🌷💗

[@dakine4238]

@@christinebuckingham8369 thank you. It really sucks they do this and I don't get why, but yeah I've done a lot of work to move forward...still working on it. They really do a world of damage.

[@gulya7727]

So sad to hear again and again that no matter what classes , culture, educations that women around the world suffering from domestic abuse . And most of the abusers are getting away unpunished . 😢😢😢

[@lisabowman877]

This was me on my marriage. Everything you’re saying describes my husband. I’ve been out for 3.5 years! Now I see what it was! 26.5 years.

[@lamusica1592]

So true, it's not care and concern for you, it's control and entrapment

[@Mindsetolympics]

Love you Mel B you're an inspiration to all the black girls, and all who are survivors of abuse

[@karinajones1121]

Not just black-i left after reading her book after 20yr x

[@pinkchilldivestmentor]

You were right and she’s biracial. Her mother is white.

[@merin797]

Like the frog in the kettle of water that heats up slowly until it realizes it has to jump out!

[@stephaniejohnson1972]

So true!

[@stephaniejohnson1972]

Thank you so much for your determination to expose this and to help women ( and men) who are abused.❤❤❤

[@Grrrrrrr123]

I didn’t leave until my son took his own life… somehow that gave me the strength to go I would say when you are in it you cannot see it

[@LisaBilyeu]

Wow I am so so incredibly sorry my homie! Sending you so much love! ❤️

[@sparklefairy34]

😢🫂💕

[@Grrrrrrr123]

@@LisaBilyeu thank you ❤️

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

Oh no. You see it. You feel it. You just dont believe you can make it on your own. So you rather suffer because you think you are not good enough and you dont deserve better. But you are.

[@carolinemurungiumchospital9560]

Sending you hugs💕💕💕

[@annjohnson8437]

I appreciate Mel B telling her story. It is not easy to talk about abuse, and so many of us have gone through it or are going through it now. ❤

[@SpiritDestiny]

"She's crazy" seems to be their go-to line. Yeah, I was crazy for going round in circles with a person who had 0% good intent towards me. Stole money, lied, cheated, control, physical abuse, mental abuse. Every time i ended it... "But you're the love of my life," "I might as well end it without you in my life" "You think I want to lose this, you, us?" Absolutely thriving to broken beyond!!! But.... now finally, a year no contact later. Still healing & ready to thrive again x

[@joanberry235]

This session really resonates with me. I didn't have the fame, but I had the abusive relationship. It is taken years of therapy and peeling the onion to get back on my feet emotionally. I can totally relate to hiding the abuse from the people around you. My abuser kept me isolated. This happened back in the 80s, a very long time ago, we weren't talking about it as much as we do today. Thank you so much for your guest and thank you to the spice girl that who was willing to speak out.

[@sugrandspyce]

My ex sounds so similar to her ex. I got out after 5 years together…4 years later, I’m still working on my healing. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy 😢

[@bessiejaynes]

This is fudging deep. I love that it was the love from her father that was what gave the strength. Go girl go ❤️‍🔥✊️

[@spyroluver0951]

trust your womanly instinct ladies. Keep safe while dating, no matter the age, meaning: 1. Tell family and friends close to you where you are going, who you are with and his car rego. 2. Get yourself to the date and back yourself. 3. Don't unload all your trauma, negative experiences from family and friends and exes. They can use that against you. You are valuable and deserve to be treated well. You're saftey comes first Queens 👑

[@kirstiedonaldson3686]

I used Womens Aid myself and Mel is right - they will think of everything you need at a time when you can barely get out of bed. They saved me and my son and I will be forever grateful. Thanks to both for this interview, everyone should know that there is happiness on the other side of abuse, you CAN get out. xx

[@vickyschaffner2672]

Oh Mel you so got this right. No one seeks this out. Isolation and blaming the victim stinks.

[@JessicaDarling2]

Excited for this!! Girl Power forever!❤✌🏻✨ Mel, you are amazing and could never know how loved you truly are, especially by those of us in the “Spice Girls generation.” Thank you for sharing your story - your wisdom is going to help a lot of people. Love always, from Canada 🇨🇦 P.S: You are STUNNING 🤩

[@mj-kawai]

Gaslight is an amazing 1947 film, starring Ingrid Bergman. The young wife starts to doubt herself, she might be getting crazy. Not only the husband makes her believe she is detaching from reality and losing her memory, but also the maid is on it as well.❤

[@Grace.AlwaysGrace.]

I needed THIS today, in THIS moment. Thank you. And I’m sorry that you have had this journey in life and yet, I celebrate the freedom and recovery of joy you are beginning to reclaim. Bless, bless you both.

[@tracythomas6050]

I’ve been an npd victim. It’s sick. It’s been eight months and I’m still in this trauma bond. It’s heartbreaking in many ways. Hope to get the strength you have come to have now.

[@gtone888]

I noticed with the ex that he was always angry whenever I was watching powerful women programs like real housewives..... He was always mad. But whenever am down he would be there and presents himself as the helper. And I could now see that he was secretly happy for my down fall............

[@pinklotus4449]

So proud of you speaking out Mel! ‘But you’re a strong woman’ is the reply I have received also. I grew up a big fan of you and the rest of the group here in the uk. Nice to see you are spreading that girl power even today! I have had many abusive relationships. One 10yrs also. A women’s shelter saved me and my children’s lives. I have had therapy, nice home, studying at university and two of my children have left home now and succeeding in life. Life is peaceful now. I have been single 9yrs now and have experienced two healthy relationships over the years too (still didn’t work out due to the trauma I have suffered). I am convinced I will never be in another relationship again but fingers crossed that maybe I can trust another man one day but if not….i am at peace. Congrats on your endeavours and big hugs to you Mel x

[@kirstymacfarlane1620]

Just bought her book. She's a phenomenal woman whom I've always admired. Abuse comes in so many different ways. My family was my abuser, especially my mother and brother. I'm 50, been married for 29 years and I'm just discovering my career path because of the indoctrination that was drummed into me. My mother's favourite phrase was, "you'd be pretty, successful, happy etc if you'd just lose weight". I've battled with my weight my entire life and it's always been, I'll do x, y or z when I lose weight. My brother was the trifecta, mental, then physical and then sexual. He claims we've got split power of attorney with our grandfather, I haven't signed anything. So has he done it or am I even included? I met an old school friend and it took him and his brother a year to sort their mums power of attorney because of lockdown, my brother had my papas done in weeks during the plandemic. Once my grandfather passes I'll be severing all ties. The only reason I have any contact with him is because it would break my grandfathers heart

[@lenisecastro2835]

She’s so on point, so eloquently spoken and correct. I appreciate her courage to share her story. I will definitely read her book. I have so much respect for her.

[@josievaccaro]

I experienced the atrocities Mel speaks of and was told the same that I'm strong... Still working on it... To me Mel is so much more: she is Wonder Woman!

[@ellamedic8963]

Simon did care … he noticed!

[@annaa6259]

Mel is such a legend for speaking up❤. What a great ambassador against abuse

[@christinajohnson5515]

I love her! Mel you’ve grown so much, we are proud!

[@SpiritDestiny]

Absolutely!!! My knight in shining armour was a facade!!! He was somebody totally different behind closed doors... scary stuff!!! Mel, you helped me leave. Possibly saving my life & the lives of my children. My gratitude for your strength is beyond xxxxxxxxxxx

[@user-un9zz2cy9j]

It happens to anyone. The problem is they think they can get away with it.

[@TheeyeOftruth-yx2np]

This was absolutley tremendous, Thank you so much Lisa and Mel, You're brave for sharing your story and helping many people, I have upmost Respect for you Mel, You can't force someone to be with someone, especially when you've figured them out and exposed them, No one should be gaslighted, manipulated, coerced or controlled, if they apologise and say they've changed, Don't believe them, It's just a manipulative tactic, Keep shining light and speaking and spreading truth, Peace, love, Respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God is great 💚🌲👽😊😇🐉❤😃🌈💜🕊💙🐎😘🦄💛💙

[@Hyleenf36]

Mel B you are our HERO thank you for what you are doing. KEEP SHINING A SPOTLIGHT ON THIS!!! The Mental break down and Isolation is the real killer.

[@lealea6020]

Thank you for speaking about it. I wish as a younger girl I was educated about it at school. The abuse I suffered made me have PTSD symptoms, unfortunately it happens to too many women

[@melissal3709]

God has help me heal from all that trauma I wasn’t physically abused but I was mentally, verbally, emotionally and financially.. the worst is when you share kids the last resource they use is trying to control and manipulate using the children

[@jessicag0625]

Mel…..you literally described my marriage for countless years 😮 thanks for having the courage to share. I finally gained the courage myself to LEAVE!!!

[@Amontillado72]

Mel B is so beautiful inside outside...and her voice sounds so cool, love it ❤

[@lindabroadfoot2963]

A senior social worker who knew me because my son is autistic ( she was a Children and Families SW) said to me when I finally admitted to the abuse said to me “ you don’t present as a victim.” In other words because I stood up for my son and ensured he got help she didn’t believe I could be abused. My ex was able to lie and manipulate people involved with my son and even people I worked with. I remember not being believed but I have most of all never forgotten that remark which was another slap in the face. Great to hear a strong powerful woman like Mel B showing abuse is not confined to certain people-you can be strong and opinionated and still be abused because you don’t actually realise it’s happening until the scales fall off your eyes

[@claudiatribeofmanycolours]

❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤍 Thank you so much for empowering us WOMEN so much!!! Best Regards & LOVE from Austria!!!

[@user-yl4hi6es5j]

I didn't intend to be in that kind of relationship. I came here with good intentions. ❤❤❤

[@liru3810]

This is so important that she speaks about it totally honest and doesn't protect the abuser anymore. She always was and still is a powerful, strong and beautiful women ✨️✨️✨️ I'm also a survivor of a physically and mentally abusive and manipulative marriage. It also took me 10 years to fully realize it and several attempts to finally leave. It's been 4 years since I've left and it was the best decision for my kids and myself.

[@chimbalacollins1827]

Am so glad she's doing this , that list could have been written by me . And people don't get how a strong woman finds themselves in such a situation. But like she said abuse can happen to anyone . It happened to me 😢

[@AnaNunez-kj3vb]

I ' m a huge Spice Girls' fan and when I read Mel ' s book I was so sad to know that she had to go through all of this. ADMIRATION for you dear Mel❤

[@samanthacook2495]

Sad that Mel B. had to suffer like that for all those years. I well recall reading about her abuser's prior history in some women's magazine or other back in the day when the two had first got together. Stunned to realize it took all those years before she got away from him. Better late than never! Kudos to her for helping others now that she's in a position to do so.

[@sincerelysean7147]

This video is so needed. I can relate as I've been an abusive relationship with a narcissist for 15+ years. Up until last year, I didn't know I was even in an abusive relationship, and that was discovered during my first few sessions with a therapist. Now, I need to get out, but I am terrified to do so. 🙏🏽

[@ashleer6298]

Love the bonus session! 😄 Wanted to add, sometimes it's hard for us to even identify what we need, that's part of healing.

[@Steph26Tej]

THANK YOU SO MUCH LISA!

[@user-tf4xs8de9w]

Wow, ISO needed to hear this.Thank you so much for your authentic share

[@caroczel]

Much appreciated your spin on "gratitude" Lisa...got so much out of this whole video ❤ TY 🙏

[@agatik90]

This episode is so needed and so important! We're really not there yet with the system to provide the support necessary, especially courts are a nightmare! 😔

[@MsLisa551]

❤❤ This story so resonates!!! Im proud of you!! have a story 23 years of it! Thank for sharing. I left too!! I just lost a beautiful Friend that lost her life to assault by her bf. I'm not going to let her be forgotten!!

[@iu.5146]

Good for you, Mel! Your abusive Ex helped you to become the best version of yourself. Because of the abuse, you found your true calling in life. You are making a difference and using your celebrity status to generate change, even changing laws. You are changing the trajectory of your family DNA and the future of your children. Keep healing, keep educating your kids. Seeing you change from victim to Thriver is beautiful to watch. You are all about power and rewriting your story. I got out of an abusive marriage to a narcissist. It takes all you have. All the best to you beautiful soul. Your children are lucky to have you as their Mom! 🙏❤️🙏

[@gigiarmany4332]

Uuuhm... I refuse to give the predator any credit though..

[@user-yv5mk5pu1u]

What an inspiring story & so much love for being brave enough to teach others.. when you're famous & can have so much backlash, but you still sacrifice to help others.. such beautiful lady's ❤

[@rubeemoon8225]

🙏🏾 God bless you Melanie for taking what the enemy wanted to destroy you with and turning it into your message/purpose for the greater good.

[@mariasmith1481]

You are strong, you are a beautiful soul. Thanks Mel for sharing your story, it can happen to anyone. It happened to me, but I wasn't believed by certain people as I was seen as confident. I hope you have peace and a happy life now ❤

[@BubbyBrew]

how can anyone call her ugly??? She's gorgeous and flawless!

[@juanadrianrobaina5763]

An abuser will always abuse,amen,true words spoken,I Greet 100 percent my lovely ,wonderful Spice girl says Katya from Cuba who is struggling to break free from a very abusive relationship,thank you for the open talk,I needed thT❤😢

[@georginaheffernan5743]

She is so brave and articulate and amazing. So proud of you Mel, what you are doing is powerful work.

[@char8691]

The shame, the guilt. the embarrassment, keeps women stuck .. this is poison

[@starinthesky451]

She is so well spoken...very clear message

[@marleyofficialmedia]

Oh Lisa. You are such a bright light. Mel B... love her forever since I first saw her as a child. ❤

[@flowerfreedom7168]

I remember seeing her during this relationship she seemed like she was like a zombie I thought she was on drugs she looked like an empty shell so sad now she looks beautiful and she regained her spirit !

[@pjlav6304]

Love it ❤ the opening images popped up of 'Mel' in her spice girls heyday are actually images of her daughter in a shoot she did last year.... wearing her moms clothes...

[@galavignoli2517]

Thank you so much for this interview!!! You are an amazing woman.

[@mp7140]

Thank you Mel B. and Lisa for the work you do 🥰

[@Faircafe98]

Wow! She shared some great practical ways of dealing with the situation. Really found this very helpful ❤

[@LisaBilyeu]

So pleased!

[@jeannettelaurence8755]

I am so glad you are being so open because this will help so many women

[@funnipharm]

Bless you for speaking out. I am a survivor as well

[@nicolamenon8563]

Well done Mel, knowledge is power!

[@SpiritDestiny]

Melanie, you're incredible!!!❤❤❤ Think you should have been named 'Strong Spice' xxx

[@goddessoflightlove9334]

Yup thank goodness for my parents my grandparents teaching me right building me showing me love and respect and morals

[@Thearttherapyqueen]

thank you MelB and Lisa for broadcasting this material - this i my story as well and it takes sometimes decades to heal. The biggest factor I have found from my own experience and that of other survivor Goddesses is that we had to do what was safest for our children and we understood it would take time and strategy to extract ourselves from the nightmare of living a hollow dangerous lie and calling it happy families, just to survive, self medicating etc. I was hiding cash under the rug for food for the children, there were lies deception, devastation. I ended up with complex pts with traumatic bereavement and i've now dedicated my life to helping others heal from trauma after healing myself. Thank you MelB for your candid bravery I grew up on girl power as a teen lots of love MelDJ

[@Thearttherapyqueen]

yes bessel van der kolk book the body holds the score - every time you talk of past trauma you body does indeed interpret that the trauma is happening now - this pushes our autonomic nervous system into dis regulation - you know you have healed trauma when you can separate your physiological responses from verbally recalling the event. I use natural healing arts therapy to help survivors shift trauma from the soma. the work of Gabor Mate is also excellent and the doco 'what is love' is brilliant.

[@WildAntics13]

Men call as gold diggers but actually are most of them con artists , they choose successfully women to used and abused. And shame you for choosing him. God bless you Mel❤ .

[@OzmaOfOzz]

The term gaslighting comes from the movie Gaslight. I watched it and it does not disappoint. I think it's even free to watch on KZbin. Mel B - only love for you ❤

[@susanvasilakos8350]

Rest in Peace to your Dad Mel,and thankyou for sharing your story!You are a brave,strong woman,and it's not your fault!..wishing you all the best on your healing path ♥️♥️

[@mayanova8152]

Thank you for speaking out, Mel B!

[@browniebun]

The abuse in almost all my relationships was mental and emotional. For the longest time I did not know it was abuse. I thought it was normal due to my upbringing. I couldn't see myself as a victim of abuse because I looked strong and was told I was strong. Now I know that the men I allowed into my life wanted to break that strength down until I was nothing but theirs to with as they pleased. When I thought I had met my prince charming, who turned out to be the worst of the worst, it was until then that I could finally see the pattern of abuse. He broke me and I kept going back for more. The insanity of it shook me to my core. I became quite ill and he still kept on leeching off of me. That was the straw that broke my back. I'm glad to know now that I'm healing and happy again. Never give up on yourself. You are worth it. ❤

[@jeannettelaurence8755]

You’re amazing to bring up this awareness

[@ashleer6298]

Yasssss the body keeps score 📚

[@mantras1pit57]

Thank you for this subject, it needs to even more out in the open. Women need to talk more about it, take action because men won't do it for us. So we need to fight, and stick to each other, back each other up, be there for one and another. Love ourselves, be happy with our body and the person we are, we are allowed to be here on beautiful Mother Earth. Buy ourselves flowers, if we want flower's in our house. We are worth it! And men need to see that. The younger generation needs to see that, they're in charge of their own lifes. Strength to everybody out there! You are amazing and lovely 🙏 ❤❤❤

[@Hkhjazz]

One of my favorite programs with my favorite person!❤️❤️

[@ariannevanrijn]

The duo we never knew we needed ❤

[@jellybelly9314]

Oh my goodness...thank you for sharing this happened to me and now I am trying to move in a healthy way from now on. I'm a little scared but I know everything happens for a reason. I hope I make it

[@Whitney322]

Riveting! Thank you for the transparency!

[@gillb9222]

Hopefully, because he's been with a high profile woman he won't be as easily able to do it to other people. However, like most abusers, they will make out they are the victim and Mel is the crazy one...and women fall for it because the abusers seem to perfect that you just can't believe it at first. I had a relationship with someone who told me that he had 'strong sociopathic tendencies' (and he was a senior mental health professional) but I didn't believe it because he was so amazing to start with. I'm really wary of men because of previous abuse so I started to see the signs. It still took a while to get out though because the inconsistency makes it so hard to separate the abuser and the angel in the same person.

[@jeannettelaurence8755]

Thank you ❤

[@rdns263]

Her style is impeccable!

[@sussannekeith5676]

Thank you Mel… we need to watch out for each other… love you❤

[@888alp]

I’m so proud of you Mel B, your beautiful dad saved you. ❤❤

[@AprilKudwa]

I love this studio set up

[@OzmaOfOzz]

I miss the old one, but this one feels more cozy and personal though ❤

[@LisaBilyeu]

It’s actually just for this episode as I traveled to NY yo interview her! So my set will still be my home base 🥰

[@Anonymas-di6zc]

😢 I was there, seeing not other way out of the suffering other then by death, I cry for you and me and the millions who's died like my baby brother did with 26 😣😫😥. It's dead serious and I have hope for the youger generations too have a much better chance to find teaching about abuses in early ages and the late blowers 🌺 like me, who can save us too be stucked in those toxic persons relation, for lack of informations. 😥 Mel Thank you so much for showing your vulnerability and make us be more aware that we are not weak at all. I cry during that video because I reconnaze my self and know how it feels, through your story it's easyer for me to take my own pain serious and makes it feel Real, that's so important forme and I need shares like yours to break the belife that nothing serious can happen for me, I don't know what a probleme is, that was told me from the Old Troll when I aske for help, after I had to give up dancing, that did help me so much for the c-PTSD and without I fall intoo thousends pices. When my behavior became more and more autodestructif He screemed at me that I have to catch myself up but never helped me and the rest of the familly had to akt the same. I had to go no contact with all of them. It's hurts to see them under the Old Trolls Trance. I know that and remember how strongly I was driven under that influence. He didn't needed to tell use, we knew it 😈. I know his power and don't want to be with him at all. For me, we are stranger and I don't think about the Old Troll, usaly, he was a part of my life and I don't want to give him one more minutes, I need him for explications, that's all. I was under his power from birth to my twenties and than my " mother " was driving me, like it's Her turn now to posses me. I brocke free by chance, I juste told her I wanted to call her by Her name, some times and the respons came out fast, without thinking, " if it's what you want, I don't want you in my life any more ", she showed me clearly that I had less importance than her titel ( I was over forty !!! ) and I took the chance for a verry low contact. I get money for my birth day with a card and that it's all the contact we have. Didn't see her like a nercissist, but lissen to lots of videos I reconnaze her as a covert narcissist or she's codepended and mirrors the Old Troll, doesen't realy matter, she makes me feel sick and even beeing in a couple with a covert narcissist, I healed from some triggers and I was so easy for the Troll I was with and I'm became real difficult, that much that he never respected me that much, he's a Troll and is still one, but I know better how to handel him and had the best teachers and still have. I found videos for all the problemes I have and Will have. I feel like YOU hold me by the hand. I realy don't feel lonely because I'm not 😊 even if YOU don't know me in person, you know me, that's amazing. I'm not a fan of social medias, but YOU survivors make me feel your presence. It's the first time I feel so close and it's Healing Realy!!! I have a proof, " me " and Zens behavior 😻, he shows gratitude for my chances. The biggest compliment !! And Zen don't facke 😸 and I learn from Him. He's a wise cat, always was. He refuses the game of dominance, he don't fight against others chats, knows how to protect against mean cats and loved too make them jokes. He deseves to be called Master Zen ! He was the best I had befor finding that amazing community I'm proud to belong to, that's new for me and I ❤ It !!! Go back to you, Lisa and Mel 😍🌺🌺

[@travelchannel304]

Every clergy, every Girl Scout Troop, 4H, guidance counselor , VBS needs to read these kinds of books and teach this. And practice mock interventions.

[@yeungsamuel]

Bless her!

[@dian277]

when someone is abused, it has little to do with what they are and what they have, it has most to do with their partner being a psycho abuser. and i said little to do with themselves, because the choice to give their abuser access to them is made by themselves. choose who you give access to yourself wisely.

[@pagecurie5512]

Everything Mel says about her narcissist ex is exactly what I experienced with mine. The initial lovebombing to get hooked to them. The connection between you and a narcissist feels like a dream come because they mirror you or camouflaged themselves into what you have told them you like in a partner. Once the lovebombimg stage is over, you are in eternal hell. They are such master manipulators. Leaving them is so hard because they don't want you to leave. They thrive on your suffering, confusion, social isolation, identity crisis. They make it their goal to break you into pieces. Honestly, we need movies on narcissism. Most people will fall prey to them, because they aren't movies about narcissism. Yeah they are many characters their are narcissist but tilling the movie narcissist would help tons of people and potentially save lots of lives

[@AprilKudwa]

Wowwww, yesssss 👏🏼

[@jeannettelaurence8755]

I am so proud of you and would love to meet and sort out our experiences