SPLATTERHOUSE (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Splatterhouse.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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[@hoodenmcburg]

"Wad of Gore" "Gad of Wore" "God of War" My god it all comes together.

[@teresazbikowska7094]

I was thinking of Brutal Doom.

[@Cheesypotato57]

"That's why girls will always, always love you more if you finish into their face." To quote a later review: "To er is human and love is blinding. That's why you should always aim your love away from the eyes, fellas."

[@MiisterShane]

An anomoly only the internet would ever find...

[@guardingdark2860]

+Potatrobot You can hit the face without hitting the eyes.

[@briandee554]

+Bel-Shamharoth Thank God! A smart dude in the youtube comments-section. You are a rare find, mate!

[@guardingdark2860]

McNaggin' Why thank you, sir :)

[@PintoRagazzo]

+Potatrobot So... finish on their nose?

[@SchadeTree]

This game has somewhat of a sad story behind it. The original devs completely ignored the publisher's design requirements and made a game that was completely different, all the while lying to the publisher about the game they were making. Eventually the publisher found out, booted the dev and stitched together what was left to try and get the game out. This was what they put out, and it's pretty impressive considering the circumstance.

[@thelordofthelostbraincells]

Fk the higher ups, I swear they're always the ones to ruin everything

[@NES8594]

I'm starting to piss off my friends because of how many times I've quoted Yahtzee on Facebook. Todays quote: "The tragedy of being an adult is that once you can do everything denied to you as a child, you're smart enough to not want to anymore." I love that within his nitpicking, comedic ranting, Yahtzee usually includes some wise words.

[@MasterCharlie104]

Apparently this had a very, VERY troubled development cycle. Bandai Namco asked the lead dev for a simple brawler and he said "Fuck you! Imma add these weird Cronenberg-esque monsters and add in gameplay from my last game that no-one liked!" And as a result, progress was slow, the lead dev was fired and the remnants of his company had to try as hard as they could to make something playable before the deadline. Hence the bugs and the anticlimactic ending.

[@tonycullen301]

Just when you think you've seen every zero punctuation..

[@Dice12K]

0:38 True story. Yahtzee stated that the thing about jelly actually happened to him. xD

[@MrTombombodil]

I sometimes wondering where Lee Drummond is today and if he is well.

[@moistcampervan]

Yahtzee sure seems to hope he's not well

[@ultimateninjaboi]

Something about having Winnie-the-Pooh whispering sweet, Faustian nothings into my ear while absolutely ruining the structural integrity of my opponents just makes me happy. I have a problem

[@BIadelores]

"Oh! My giant monster butt!"

[@superanxiety261]

Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade You have a giant monster butt, that's cool.

[@Rydoste]

Fun game: Go to another zero punctuation video, preferably one you haven't seen before, and mute the sound. Then watch the video and try to figure out what is going on in it

[@invghost]

I would try this.. but that would require there to be a ZP video I haven't seen over 10 times.

[@Rydoste]

invghost There is a new one every week :P

[@brawlybullet]

Niklas Wargh implying that i cant see into the future to watch each video ten times before its released

[@aperturesciencegames]

What mental trickery can I use to forget the fact I have watched every zip video roughly 15 times apiece? Because I would love to experience that level of hilarity again

[@E1craZ4life]

@@aperturesciencegames Find a Death Note, wait about a year, then get rid of it.

[@An_excellent_YouTube_account]

4:23 well someone watched Freeman's mind.

[@SapphireCrusader1988]

"This bores mighty Caesar." I love that line!

[@MayanPudding]

how did yahtzee not talk about jim cummings voicing the mask? basically rick now owes his soul to one of the creatures of the hundred acre woods

[@RoyStantz]

I've played Splatterhouse 2010, and to this day, I have still not seen the bugs, glitches, framerate drops, and everything else the big review sites say are wrong with the game, nor have any of the other fan reviews I've watched.

[@EcksFacktur]

anyone else get a little mesmerized at the way he did the on a related note thing at 4:25?

[@l0stndamned]

Anyone who played this game else notice the mask was Darkwing Duck? (same voice actor in same tone)

[@jaxonnobles]

I probably should have noticed that, given my name.

[@ploppman7524]

Just imagine at the start of every chapter the mask whispers "Let's get dangerous." into your ear.

[@brenioqose9324]

And Winnie the Pooh. And Tigger (movie).

[@hypergrad2254]

I feel like "Wad of gore" is just another way of saying "God of war" so I thought "damn, this is practically just God of War but bloody."

[@memebot6490]

hypergrad22 God of War is already gratuitously bloody lol

[@hypergrad2254]

Paul Westfall as Yahtzee once said "It's like that time of the month at the all female gladiatorial arena"

[@MnMsicecream]

Omg 4:14 - 4:17 had me genuinely laughing out loud! Perfect delivery!

[@FrunkleBerryFinn]

I agree with the idea that if you start making a game at the beginning and then finish the end and work your way to the middle and it's unfinished then it's okay, except that I know it doesn't work. Bioshock 2 did this, and among any of the other reasons people can complain about that game, I liked it. The only problem I had with it was the shortness of it, which showed it's lacking somewhere in the middle of it. They could have had 3 more chapters that expanded characters, but nah. Of course, it could have just made it seemed dragged on, but I think of a game like it, it could have strengthened the narrative and story so much more.

[@fissionphoenix4995]

I have to wonder if he legitimately said " time event" in a way that makes it seem like there was a particular word immediately before "-time" or if it was just an audio cut for the sake a joke pulled off really well, making it a damn fine joke either way.

[@hypergrad2254]

Imagine watching this with intense diarrhoea, you would have a pretty good hour to binge watch this

[@timebomb4562]

that bit at the beginning is the truest thing ever

[@Gamesta100]

This is one of my favourite games. I'm a sick Bastard that never gets sick of ripping my enemies to pieces lol

[@RosyTheRascal15]

I actually enjoyed splatterhouse....like a lot. :p

[@GlizzyMan445]

I like splatter house too. :P

[@GlizzyMan445]

A lot

[@EagleEyeMcFly]

The arcade ones yeah, but I honestly wasn't too big on the reboot.

[@JohnGabrielUk]

I enjoyed the remake a fair bit, actually; though admittedly I've never played a spectacle fighter before so I guess I have no frame of reference.

[@AirZonkWorldChamp]

Me too!

[@NoName-yt-channel]

The Jelly Story at 0:43 was mentioned in Let's Drown Out... MGS3: Snake Eater at around 52:09

[@appabend]

Okay, who the f*ck is Lee Drummond?

[@Metal_Auditor]

Yeah he was Yahtzee's childhood bully.

[@AdraTheGhost]

stalrunner you would know that...LEE DRUMMAND!

[@angusseydel9733]

***** Yahtzee was bullied by a planet? Cue the fat kid jokes!

[@Milarecs]

"Thats why girls will always love you more if you finish in their face" OH MY GOD! This was the funniest comment i have ever heard!

[@Thecuregalore94]

I wonder what Lee Drummond is doing now.

[@ColonelMcboot]

Thanks for the heads up!

[@shyCOREProductions]

SPOILER WARNING. The whole mask thing reminds me of Fable: The Lost Chapters when you can choose to be a good boy and throw Jack Of Blades' mask into the lava at the Foly or wear it to become an unknown bad boy.

[@videogamehunter820]

Despite the flaws, I love this game to death (and this series, quite frankly).

[@MariusThePaladin]

OMG I used to play this on PC Engine/Genesis. It was really fun!

[@ThePortableTornado]

While Yahtzee does make some very good points about this game, I had a ton of fun with it, and Splatterhouse is probably one of my favorite brawler/beat-em-up games next to the God of War trilogy.

[@Lyubimov89]

Dang, he even cracks some jokes at the very end of the subtitiles!

[@Mjolvunheim]

Jam in a croissant... I want one now.

[@jakethemusicman]

I grew up with a guy called Lee Drummond but survived with all my dinner money intact

[@jtroopa]

The jelly analogy is 100% true with me. I did it, I burnt out on it, I never want to see it again.

[@shadowLDrago4084]

I'm surprised he didn't say rage of the god mode again because this game has it

[@probablyhugs7042]

Fuzzle, Jason, and hale? Holy balls! What a crossover!

[@ElektrikMuffins]

That was perfect. He put into words exactly what I felt playing that game. God damn does it get old fast.

[@champion1859]

Heavily disagree

[@Blasted2Oblivion]

@SammyTryHard In the Disney movie The Rescuers, one of the animators built in a joke. During a flight scene, something odd is visible in a window in the background. This would be barely visible in the movie, but it's very clear in this frame : a naked woman in the window !

[@ultimatebodacity]

Yahtzee has the best way of pronouncing controversy.

[@brianward6291]

LOL - "I'm out and I'm proud!!!" - Hahahaha

[@assafsm]

mission statement: eat ALL the pies!

[@adamgentle5476]

Woo! Time Events!

[@ladyinwight]

Thanks for telling me that!

[@ashow9]

This video was, in comparison to the other videos, considerably more full of animations

[@shil4720]

So, the plot of this game is that a man is tempted by a mask, which makes him a beefy musclebound man with a knack for violent killings? The main character is basically Dio Brando.

[@ShawndaPrawn]

Basically, the plot is that a young couple go into a creepy mansion for...reasons. The girl is kidnapped by a mad scientist while the bloke is massacred by lovecraftian monsters before finding a mysterious demonic mask. The mask offers to give him inhuman strength and power and to help him save the girl, on the condition that he uses its power to slaughter every living thing they come across. Pretty simple. (The soundtrack is pretty cool though)

[@itsbfginnit]

It's almost like a breakfast. Imagine having cereal without milk, toast without butter, eggs without bacon, or pancakes without maple syrup. That's a brakfast. lol

[@Three_Cubed]

*Holds up hand for high five* Oi!

[@ILikeBrownies01]

Ah, the return of the infamous Lee Drummond.

[@codymorales13]

that's why girls will always love you if u finish on their face xD

[@SilverFeet]

Dang and I was hoping this would become a big enough franchise that it would merit 4 sequels and then we'd have the 5th one where they jump back and forth between time cleaning up charred bodies in one timeline and fighting plunger aliens in another.

[@SantuXD6]

Yeah, I'm with you on that.

[@Samoth1995]

They're actually tiger pelts and destroyed car parts, but I think he was just taking a quick breather.

[@johnathanchaney8693]

Dude, Vaas is behind you, and he's reaching for your machete! Turn around! *Press X*

[@AwesomeSauce1000]

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF.

[@50Calabyte]

4:02 Boy, I really wished BioWare took that little golden nugget of advice.

[@Penningtontj]

50Calabyte Thinking of something that starts with M and rhymes with Ass Defect?

[@aperturesciencegames]

Yes, we all know where that child came from don't we?

[@lightkeeper1238]

Love this game

[@zeekyzoid]

it would be like sneezing a teaspoon of warm, salty snot onto their face. snot.

[@karmapunch3410]

light attack-heavy attack-dodge-grab-WAHEY

[@Billodie3000]

That explains a lot.

[@MrElliottFish]

Lol anyone remember when the Chasers War on Everything got moralfagged out of Australia after doing that skit as the make a wish foundation in a children's hospital? The start of this reminded me of that Chaser: What's that little girl? You want to meet Zac Efron? We can't get you that so how about this stick instead?

[@DoctorrDude]

He can't be. He's my lover.

[@generico366]

What I if told you, You read the "he'll rip hore yead off" poster aswell as the first line wrong.

[@NakedZombiesOnSkates]

you forgot to mention all the trophies/achievements you get for EVERYTHING. trophy for killing a monster for the first time trophy for getting a trophy for the first time trophy for opening a door AND HERE HAVE A TROPHY FOR... WINDOW

[@AyshaCyan]

I wasn't confused and I'm American. Jelly makes me think of Jell-o, but maybe I'm just a strange one.

[@SilverW01f]

I can just imagine Yahtzee saying "Nonononononononononononono!"

[@MrMacattack11]

This is the one where he accidentally quotes Accursed Farms

[@The_Presitator]

That's right! What episode of Let's Drown Out did he reveal that?

[@Mattaku]

Australia mate, it's just called Jelly here, besides Jell-o is a brand name..I think..

[@Nilac64]

As old as the game is now, would he consider doing The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai and/or The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile.

[@MineCraftRussia]

When I grow up, I want to be Yahtzee.

[@austincochran6905]

Something tells me he likes the retro one more.

[@m0sifer]

You are too!

[@kezzabbell800]

Well, look who it is.

[@gallaros9]

i hate how i click on yahtzee videos in the desperate hope that there is an episode that i havent seen already

[@Theminecrafter30001]

@10samm10 Yes it is and thanks for telling me

[@kellehoward5748]

I love splaterhouse

[@ottodevil12]

Mister hale,Grey mann is attacking again

[@ozera16]

Personaly I like this game, just pick up and play... Sometimes I can't be bothered with complex games and just yeah

[@AwesomeSauce1000]

SPREAD EM

[@DogOfHades]

WOW, the escapist knows who is *Rod Taylor* 3:21

[@taylorsharp2196]

+DogOfHades The escapist knows who Rod Taylor is. /grammar nazi

[@judsongaiden9878]

Did you find the "Captain Mozzarella" cameo?

[@DoubleG2x]

holy shit, i just noticed hus hat isnthe trilby hat

[@XDemonicDX]

@9sexypandas that's what makes him a good game reviewer he doesn't ignore the good parts of a game but focuses mainly on the flaws which is hood for videos that are interesting to watch and match many peoples views on these games

[@ZeeJiggle]

'Least you got to play all the originals. Surprised you didn't bring that up.

[@MrFisturmom]

@ComatoseCraig After you said that I google'd "Scalpel in Bellend." not pretty.

[@valsauramaa5817]

I wonder how he manages to talk in real life. It must be hilarious.

[@TheBlarggle]

We've always had that secret bi-polar love/hate obsession with England. We ran away from you when we were young to show how rebellious and "not like out father(land)" we were... We demonized you in our media and made you play every villain in novels and movies and TV shows up til the 80's when "Brown people" became the go to villain of choice... And now we keep telling you how cool we think you are and how much we miss you. Pretending like none of that vitriol towards you ever happened.

[@CadaverJunky8]

.. Hellsing? That sounds vaguely familiar.

[@badgerbane]

Haven't we all given it a try at some point in our lives?

[@MetalSonicEX]

There's a huge fan theory that bribes weren't never handed out, so reviewers did everything in their power to drive it into the ground. Even lie it would seem.

[@bahmontdrago1609]

LOL!

[@bigfatcarp93]

Lol. "The Hard Way."

[@StrickenRecord]

I found it a fun trip down memory lane, but yeah, all of Yahtzee's bitchings are justified, especially that ending.. it was obvious the designers were praying nostaligia alone would get enough to buy it to justify a sequel... a shame, I woulda loved a sequel that actually added more strategy and gore to the game. Oh well, still worth it for Jim Cummings as the Terror Mask.

[@shitsululu]

@niklas wargh I tried, but I honestly have no idea what he is going on about without the sound. XD

[@Freefallfelixrulz]

Yeah, as far as I know it's because they call Jam jelly, so they would get confused otherwise.

[@ShadowWolfRising]

it would have been better if Namco Bandai didn't take over. also, fairly sure they meant for a sequel with the ending. personally i liked the game.

[@Noobshire]

It's okay, we remember for you :)