The Hunger Games: Rehab and Plastic Surgery | Dear Hollywood Episode 6

TW: Eating Disorders. Alyson shares the audition process that landed them in rehab, along with the intense journey of recovery, therapy sessions, and what happened immediately after returning to Hollywood. They discuss undergoing plastic surgery and body modification while experiencing deep inner conflict, and the way it ultimately changed their career trajectory and relationships.
As an independent podcast, your support means a lot. Subscribe and follow @alysonstoner to join the conversation. New episodes every Friday.
50% off Movement Genius for 250+ classes and tools to care for your mind, body and emotions:
bit.ly/DearHollywood50
Follow Alyson Stoner:
Instagram: / alysonstoner
Facebook: / alysonstoner
TikTok: / alysonstoner
Video filmed and edited by: Crispy Chicken / crispychickenco
Dear Hollywood on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/3XhCWlR...
Dear Hollywood on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Business Inquires: [e-mail]
About Alyson Stoner:
Alyson Stoner is a multi-hyphenate known for their on-screen acting work in franchises such as Step Up and Camp Rock to dancing with the likes of Missy Elliot and Eminem and now their original digital content across all her platforms. Alyson is also the founder of Movement Genius, a digital wellness platform that provides live and on-demand classes to help you improve your mental, emotional and physical well-being.

[@Justinm1700]

The fact you thought you weren’t a well-known actor after rehab is mind-boggling. Us millennials and gen-z always knew who you were. ❤️

[@Thatgenderconfused3mo]

I remember always wondering what happened to Alyson bc they’re one of my favorite actors I just felt so seen with all the tomboy roles they played😭

[@oooh19]

They’re?

[@Thatgenderconfused3mo]

@@oooh19 Alyson goes by they/them pronouns🙂 if that was a response to me

[@sjg5994]

​@@Thatgenderconfused3moShe does seriously?

[@Thatgenderconfused3mo]

@@sjg5994 they do! It’s in their insta bio and everything☺️

[@hippygirl1386]

I don't know if this is a controversial take but the more and more I watch the more and more I feel justified in believing that children shouldn't be celebrities

[@teganflyman5352]

Yup

[@hornetsandsweetsurprises]

This is my favorite project you've ever been in. I grew up watching everything you were in, Cheaper by the Dozen, The Suite Life, Camp Rock, and everything in between. And this is by far the most important thing you've ever done. Thank you for talking about this issue in such a delicate, tactful, authentic, soft way. Everyone needs to see this. Every girl that has ever struggled with body issues needs to see this, inside and out of the industry. You're so brave for this, and you're beautiful inside and out.

[@eajaros]

I think they identify as they/them and not a girl so really it’s even better because it applies to ALL genders.

[@MargarethWattsofficialma5y]

Same! You're my hero 🥹🌹♥️✨🙏🏼

[@amandayoungs8987]

You summed it up perfectly. I couldn’t agree more! ❤

[@alexmiller8177]

My child was getting selected and were being pushed to present him, then these videos came out. Ty so much, we've made the choice at this time to hide him from the industry.

[@nkiehnle]

THIS! I remember you from some tv shows and obviously Cheaper by the Dozen, but your work NOW, what you've been doing for the past few years, has blown my mind. I've shared your videos with my nieces, I listen to your podcast, honestly, your insights and analysis and vulnerability of what you went through, is a much BIGGER and GREATER example for me than if you had won an Oscar. I don't doubt that winning recognition for being an actor is great, but thank you for doing what you're doing. You're changing lifes.

[@DahCraic321]

This series is so necessary for society omg the parents of the "social media" generation need to use this series as a cautionary tale.

[@gavinspake4584]

As a 37 yr old man but still kid inside -- you inspired so many of us just being you. Thank you for being an amazing graceful and non perfect human! We love you

[@adrianaavila5230]

True, I felt very connected to her on her characters. With her natural beauty I felt I didn't need to be "perfect" either to be pretty. And no matter the plastic surgery, she is still that same person.

[@nekia_therapist_coach]

As a result of watching your series, along with watching other series about mommy/family blogging, I have found myself limiting content I consume that involve children. Thank you for the courage of sharing your true story so we can have a better appreciation of the people, especially children we watch for consumption and how it affects the humans that are performing. Btw, I'm a 90's kid so I am most familiar with you from Missy Elliot videos and am so grateful to see how beautifully you have grown both inside and out.

[@despairnephilim]

I love the fact the surgeon was straight with you and not just accepting the surgery. You are beautiful Alison, and very strong. Not just for how open you are in this documentary but sharing your personal story. I appreciate you sharing this with us and your story. Much love to you! ❤️

[@CraftyMagicDollz]

Growing up a "tomboy", sporty "side character"- you were always a major person with fame that i looked up to. But now, i can honestly say that at 41 that's changed entirely. Now I'm in absolute AWE of you, for what you've been able to do with this series (especially after having to restart entirely!). You're a freaking rock star and so much cooler than you were just from being a great dancer or a funny "tom boy" in the only movie my dad ever took me to see (cheaper by the dozen!). This series is fantastic. I'm glad you can breathe through your nose and I'm so glad you are able to be real with yourself and establish a healthy relationship with food and exercise because you have certainly worked hard enough to have earned all the success in the world. This podcast is phenomenal and I've shared it with literally everyone i can think of over the last few weeks.

[@abrielle13]

I did Equine Therapy as a teen. Horses are just so majestic. There was just something so healing about being around such large powerful animals. I was around Horses a lot of my childhood but that was the first time they were used as a therapeutic tool. Highly recommend.

[@LuciaTepperBeauty]

Not sure if you'll see this but you releasing this (specifically episode 5) has given me such a powerful tool to heal from being on the viewers side of the beauty standards trauma. I've started to realize as celebrities come out with their stories that the beauty standard I got sick trying to achieve was all just a lie. You were just the same girls, just like me, but having to perpetuate the cycle of toxic and dangerous standards. It was all just smokes and mirrors, for all of us. It wasn't achievable- the people that I thought were effortlessly achieving such standards were actually dying, like I would later be in order to meet said standards. This podcast is helping people heal their own childhood selves.Thank you!

[@skyywriting]

You were one of my favorite actors growing up. We were the same age, almost looked similar, and I'd always felt like the "side-character" to more attractive and successful friends. This series has been so amazing to see how you've grown into such a mature young adult. Can't wait for more of these! This series is sorely underrated!

[@SarahM-kp6ic]

I still can't get over the fact that she has never attended an ivy league, let alone community college. She speaks so eloquently, factually, and intellectually that her her voice draws you in to her experiences and makes it easy to empathize and sympathize her with her. Her honesty is candid and is something that is beyond rare - not only in life, but especially Hollywood. Alyson - your voice is heard among your listeners and I hope you don't lose it. You're inspiring so many people and touching more hearts than you could ever imagine.

[@CaitlinH-dv4eu]

I could listen to Alyson talk for hours - she is so well spoken. I wish the episodes were longer or we got more than one episode a week. At the same time, I completely understand the shorter length really allows viewer to take in the information and not everyone has a free hour to listen to something, but almost everyone can dedicate 20ish minutes to topics that are this important. Thank you for the time, effort, and care you put in to these episodes. I’m really grateful for the work you are doing 💕

[@belindaw]

I was very close to being cast in the role in The Piano that won Anna Paquin the Oscar. After 6 months of auditions and being down to the final 3, it was devastating to not get the role, but in hindsight, it was so good for me. I was a child who loved being in the spotlight, and I definitely would have embraced everything that Hollywood offered. As an adult, I would not be able to cope with fame. I like to be alone sometimes, unnoticed, and free to do what I want without judgement. I admire your ability to step away and reflect on it all in such a thoughtful and deep way.

[@uhohstinky5850]

Doubt it

[@belindaw]

@@uhohstinky5850 it would be very strange to lie about NOT getting a part... 🤨

[@thatvalensteingirl]

​@@belindawYou're an anonymous person on the internet hiding behind a username and no profile photo of your face-- it's not unheard of to lie. A relatable story on a sensitive topic, no less. Especially for validation, social credit, "clout" or any form of attention

[@romantasyspacekace]

you’re brain is cool. the way you express yourself and explain your experience, thoughts and observations is clear, and relatable- even to those of us who were never involved in the industry. you’re not only deconstructing the hollywood experience- your deconstructing all of us who experienced similar things in our child hood and are trying to heal from them. thank you my friend. i look forward to this every week :) ❤

[@CraftyMagicDollz]

Agreed. I love how articulate she is. I love her thoughts and ideas and how she's organized this to make the messages so clear and easy to relate to despite our lives being so very different.

[@nassin13s]

I couldnt agree more with these 2 comments. Its amazing how we all felt the same thing. It baffles me

[@Scooby_Snax]

I am proud of you in the way one human can be proud of another. And not because of your fame, but because of the internal work you've done. And I can appreciate the depth of your journey and how you've decided to be selfless in your sharing and vulnerability. It takes a lot of strength. I think these small segments will have a huge impact on many people. I can see how much you care, not just for yourself and peers, but for your fellow humans. You radiate kindness and it carries straight through to our hearts and minds. Thank you for being so open and honest.

[@Orange_creamsicle]

As someone who worked at a eating disorder facility, I am happy to hear you choose treatment, over career momentum. It is so easy to ignore our needs, but the more we ignore it, the more and more it impacts us.

[@keithgrachow2526]

I'm almost a 50 year old male and you talking about body dysmorphia sheds a light on how I view my own body dysmorphia. Thank you for sharing this and making me feel less alone about the negativity in how we view our bodies.

[@Esterferreiradecastro]

The appearance trauma still hits home very hard for almost all women i would believe, being in the industry or not all of us want to go under the knife for one reason or another

[@ZoraTheberge]

Your honesty is inspiring. A nosejob is a logical conclusion to someone in your circumstance.

[@MalloryNewcomb]

In a way I can see that. It sounded like she got to a point of accepting this was what she wanted for her career but was lucky enough to find a doctor who went about it the right way.

[@selfexpressedbabe]

How my perception of you has changed from this episode: I’m in awe of your strength, vulnerability and the way you articulate your values and the experience you’ve had from a very human and non-judgmental way ❤

[@NaraAneAmbroso-wg4zo]

Hi Alyson! I did a nose job for the same reasons as you and happen the same - an older male doctor honored my wishes but very lightly and I went through crisis in the recovery period but after I perceived how great was my decision and I wanna thank you for your vulnerability and the openness to tell us what really is fame as a star kid - the culture romanticized a lot what is but now I can see nothing is just flowers. Thank you very much and a big hug from Brazil 🇧🇷❤️

[@andiotrebac6583]

Omg! I could actually see her as clove

[@itsschank]

Thank you so much for being so open with your audience. I know this will help at least one person out there ❤

[@heg203]

I’m a recovering child actor and this series is soooo helpful to me.

[@itsschank]

​@@heg203 I wish you all the best ❤

[@pinkfeet518]

i was obsessed with the idea of a nose job since i believe 11 years old? i finally had mine done at 23 after years and years of research. my surgeon sounds like how yours was. he didn’t believe in the 3D before and afters and kept reiterating that i was beautiful and fixing my septum would alter the shape. it’s been a mental rollercoaster since. good days, bad days, swollen nose days, perfect nose days, yada yada. my quality of life has increased by 1000%

[@LynnisaMysteryprofile]

You were actually one of my favorite actresses growing up bc as someone not leading lady pretty who KNEW that at like 8 or 9, seeing you on camera was a comfort to me bc to me you were normal. You were just a real person who acted in some of my favorite works and were on every commercial break teaching me something new. And to me, I still see that person as an adult and I LOVE that. Thank you for being vulnerable because 20 years later you’re still a comfort for me to see.

[@annaschechter6034]

I appreciate how you've created an interactive experience with these episodes, where you call on us listeners/viewers to think, reflect, and check in with ourselves - how we're sitting with the topic at hand/what judgements or connections might crop up in our minds. These check ins allow me to notice my own thoughts very naturally, making this series a more mindful experience than some mindfulness meditation podcasts are - in my view! Thank you for another rigorous and candid discussion :)

[@Vivichu_]

It really saddens me that people picked you apart so hatefully and didn’t see your beauty. Thank you for being so vulnerable and open, and thank you for sharing. Keep up the amazing work, you are making such an impact!

[@beringela9136]

I think the fact that I couldn’t even tell that she had surgery just shows how viciously Hollywood scrutinizes children’s faces.

[@alisonchang76]

Alyson! My school was at that camp that camp rock was filmed at and I remember being so excited that stars were going to be there! I remember seeing you get out of a truck and say a very polite 'hello' as you passed by and how kind you seemed. I never forgot that moment and have continued to watch your journey as an artist (being one myself) and how much empathy and kindness you have, even still through it all! This is such a brave and beautiful story that you're sharing, and the light that you're radiating is utterly beautiful.

[@kaylamp11]

Honestly I have so much respect for you as a human & artist . Hollywood effects everyone , it’s horrible how it effects those who are raised and live in the hectic life of it . I just want to thank you for sharing all of this so far and I’m looking forward to listening and learning more 🖤

[@pimpking5000]

Adults truly are big kids. The younger selfs never leave. That's why some seemingly childish things bring us so much joy as adults. It's not just nostalgia. Life is a balance. Be a child at heart with the wisdom of an old soul. Treat yourself to the things that make you happy as a child would but use the wisdom to moderate and stabilize

[@JaclynForbes]

it's so interesting (yet saddening) hearing your perspective of how others perceived you! as a kid, i remember always thinking you had the coolest roles and connecting over how athletic you are! i remember wishing to have a career like yours! thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing your story 💛

[@samswogger3632]

I think “now is not forever” is something i needed to hear.

[@eileensnow6153]

Feelings are temporary. They’re also liars and they want you to feel like they’re forever, but they’re not.

[@carolinamurtha3102]

It’s crazy how much our own distortion clouds any good we could possibly hold. I struggle with bulimia (25+ year battle) and I’ve done outpatient, hospital, therapy, psychiatrist, nutritionists, etc to try and get a grip and stay on the good path. Somewhere is this, my childhood bestie, who was much tinier and I felt like she had the perfect body, told me how much she wished she had my skin. She said “if I had you skin, I wouldn’t care what I weighed, I would where whatever I wanted.” Because she struggles with acne. She had blemishes on her back, neck, chest, that chicken skin (on) on her arms and all over her face. I never noticed I had clear skin. I’ve always been so focused on how big I was getting i never thought there was anything to envy about me. I’ve been told that several more times over the years and I’m grateful that acne was never something I struggled wit, I appreciate my clear skin now. But honestly, I never noticed that I had this. What did it matter to me if I had clear skin when I was too big? So sad.

[@Momentsinmommyland]

I am CONTINUALLY impressed by how you explain yourself in such a way that is compassionate and yet clear. And you deserve to be heard in the same way ❤ Sending you so much love! I appreciated you.

[@sweetwithsugar9227]

i love the way you put these two stories together and the way you still admit the shallowness yet the idea of wanting to feel beautiful due to trauma, you gave this story so beautifully as you always do with your words!

[@coreyboyd28]

This video is one of the reason why i AWAYS say "Words are power and I know the power of my words". Thats my mantra. I live and die by it. So when you were saying how people judging actors and people of higher wealth and notoriety being part of the reason they did whatever changes....that hit for me. I always knew you were special and I'd always loved you and loved seein' you in things (I'm 30. We're the same age so thankfully not too creepy to say), but I'm thankful you are doing this to get people to maybe recognize that they should be mindful of what they say and how they say it because its like I say. We're all connected. We're all computer chips in the computer that is the Universe. We affect one another even if we don't think we do. We have to be mindful of how we influence the way we all move as a unit. Thank you for talkin' about this shit Alyson. We might never meet but hopefully you feel the energy regardless. I'm a person who majored in film and desire to be a writer in the industry and I want to bring about change with my words. I hope I get the chance to make that happen with you and others like us. Keep the videos coming. I'm loving every second of it and I'm so glad you're doing better than you were before. Your journey happened for a reason and hopefully it helps others along theirs.

[@LadySaundra]

I am really enjoying your videos, and honesty. I just came from hearing the audio of Jeanette McCurdy’s book “I’m glad my mom died”. I feel like I’m hearing another book looking into the lives of what you all have been through. I believe that most, if not everyone here is here to support you and your journey!

[@redblaquegolden]

I remember you from Mike's Super Short Show when I was a kid. I remember thinking at the time, "god i wish I was that talented girl on the screen." I see now how wrong that wish was. I am so sorry that all of this happened to you. I appreciate the work you are doing here.

[@silverxXxlining]

I vote that labor laws apply to ALL children in American. No child under 14 should work. Not in tvs, movies, Broadway, music, nothing. Until someone is old enough to have a checking account and logical thinking they should not be allowed to make money. Child performers are being pimped out for the benefit of making ADULTS rich. And I'm sick of it. I would be so so happy if I never saw a child on screen ever again. Child labor laws should apply to all children. For any industry. They are just children. And that's all they need to be.

[@XoDanielleFaith]

The vulnerability you shared in this is beautiful. I appreciate you. The way you speak so eloquently about Hollywood and I appreciate it. I'm an LA native and even as a regular person in the city, and I'm excited to see what you share about the nervous system because it's amazing how people think of it as the mind or body but fail to recognize trauma is rooted in the nervous system at a molecular level.

[@ubermut1379]

Listening to you just kind of confirms my suspicions about Hollywood. Some young actors are unrecognisable now compared to their younger selves, and I wonder how hard it was for them to go under the knife several times. It’s also interesting to hear you describe how hard your nose job was, even as it was rather conservative, when it seems like everyone in Hollywood had one. Considering how many actors get one, it almost feels like „well is this really THAT major?“. Yet it still is a serious procedure. It also makes me think about how we treat beauty. We praise (sometimes only seemingly) natural beauty. How wonderful, that they didn’t feel the need to change anything about themselves. Yet the distribution of beauty, similarly to intelligence, is anything but fair, it’s unpredictable and random. Beautiful people did nothing to deserve their initial beauty (although money, even without surgery, can certainly support it via dermatology and expensive cosmetics). In that light, plastic surgery almost turns into some kind of equaliser. Finally you can get a lead role as well! Like you always knew you could! But it’s still unequal, since not everyone can afford plastic surgery or cosmetic treatments. But I can’t blame anyone who has felt the pressure to look younger or more attractive who does this. Everyone should be able to feel good about themselves. I don’t want anyone to suffer just because they feel like their nose is wrong. So yeah, while I feel like plastic surgery definitely deserves to be examined critically, it is by no means as evil or shameful as it is sometimes made out to be. Just like most things in life, it’s neither fully good nor bad.

[@angelaholmes8888]

Because of some traumatic events I suffered from an eating disorder for years it started when I was a teenager it took me a long time to stop I'm doing better now but I know it's something I still have to deal with

[@MaddieMagdaleneMusic]

I’m commenting on every video in the series after watching in full. A truly incredible feat to get all of this important information and life experience out to us. Needs way more views and I sincerely hope this is the start of a u-turn on what hollywood, media and social media has done to children and innocence itself.

[@MintyMido]

Thank you for your openness & vulnerability Alyson!! This is something that's been bothering me in recent years, and has only become more clarified through your Dear Hollywood series: we just dont see celebrities as human. We either put them on a pedestal and worship them or we treat them as an unworthy punching bag out of envy for their fame; either way, we dont treat or think of them as real human beings. The way we talk about other people in our circles is COMPLETELY different from how we talk about celebrities. This series has really made me reflect more & more on this concept and the more you talk on it the clearer and more horrifying it is. It's also so nuanced bc of how much power and privilege celebrities hold and people treat it as something to be envied, and in a lot of cases it can be, esp in regards to financial security. In this episode when you talked about the internet forums that would insult your appearance I felt deeply saddened, but not in the same way I would if a friend or acquaintance told me something like that; it was in a way of "wow, they're REALLY hurt by this, they actually saw what people were saying?? I cant even imagine this, of course those insecurities make sense, obviously certain features are considered "less beautiful" in hollywood, no wonder they felt that way". On some level I think we all, including myself, believe celebrities have some naturally thicker skin when it comes to criticism, or that theyre "too famous to care", so a lot of people say things about them online assuming that celebrity will never see it, so im very sad but also shouldnt be surprised that you saw hoards of people criticising how you look. And even if what commenters are saying about a celebrity is praise, I feel like being perceived and getting commentary on such a massive scale must mess with your brain so badly. I was called ugly several times as a child by other kids, but it was just a few select individuals, and one of them even apologized to me years later and we are great friends now! But celebrities cant even bridge a gap like that; theyre so far removed for the typical non-famous person, all they get to see are surface level comments on a massive scale, and all that non-famous people see are the carefully curated image of a celebrity, so they feel more like cartoon characters than actual people. And having all this happen starting from CHILDHOOD?? I think about how the smallest things in my childhood have impacted and shaped who I am today and I cannot imagine what that kind of exposure to the world would have done to me. I also have traits that would not be "attractive" in Hollywood: small lips, acne, imperfect teeth, a widely fluctuating bod weight and size - beauty standards get to me, sure, but I have also had access to spaces and people that have genuinely helped me feel attractive and see my own beauty, and also be comfortable with not looking that stylish or put together; I can just be myself! I generally have a rule about not judging people for cosmetic surgery, and just hoping theyve done their research before getting into it - but I think its on a whole new level with celebrities, whose bodies are, as you say, the product. And a whole other level of nuance for CHILD stars. And when the physical effects of aging comes into the equation, especially for women in the industry - I cant even fathom that kind of pressure to be beautiful. Our judgement of celebrity's appearances is a vicious cycle - their bodies are used to sell beauty standards to the general populace, who then feel influenced to try and improve their own appearances bc they "arent good enough", who then judge celebrities for the way that THEY cant even live up to beauty standards bc "arent you a celebrity, shouldnt you look better?", and celebrities who make alterations to themselves to be what theyre "supposed to be". We're all hurting each other in that way, and we're all being used in a sense, and its so sad. Im so sorry for all the negative things child stardom put you through Alyson, your focus on your healing, and sharing your knowledge with the world in such a profound and clear way, is so impressive and I commend you for that. I'm so happy the surgery made you feel better while also sorry you felt like you needed it in the first place - but that influence is so much larger than we like to think. I think there are so many ways to cope with the ways the world tears us down, and surgery is one of those ways, so I do wish there was more empathy for people who end up making those kinds of decisions, bc its a way more nuanced topic than some people treat it.

[@kenthawkins5558]

I'm sorry you went through this but im floored at how strong and brave you have been and are. Thank you for sharing you story. Just try to remember that for every hater there are 99 other people who are kind, supportive and loving.

[@chel5eadawn]

You and Mara Wilson are very prominent in my younger years when I think about movies that I enjoyed, but I’ve got to say I am in awe of the bravery you two have. I can’t imagine being in the shoes of you both, or anyone famous for that matter, and speaking out on things the way you two do. I also admire how well spoken you are. There was some kind of shift for me in 2020 where my view of Hollywood changed. I think it was the way we look up to celebrities- I just feel like it’s way more corrupt than we can even fathom. Thank you for sharing your story with us- I look forward to learning more about you. ❤

[@nicolejones4707]

Thank you for sharing your internal monologue regarding your surgery. I've wanted top surgery for years and it's always been this horrific swirl of shame, optimism, judgement and pain just to think about it. I've stayed up too late researching doctors and procedures and prices. Hearing your story makes me feel that those scary thoughts are normal, and it's okay to engage with my body and the world this way. It's a fresh perspective I really, desperately needed. Aight I'm gonna keep crying for 3 hours now thanks

[@user-no2mz9hl4f]

This series has certainly been illuminating. I was under the impression that there were many more protections for child performers. Growing up, I knew the odd child model/performer and some of them had parents who really took it to an extreme (knew one child whose mother fed her baby formula at age 6 so she would keep her figure), but I didn’t realise to what degree the industry as a whole fails children. Knowing this, I do think we need to completely rethink how we treat child performers and models so that their health, innocence, education, and social skills are prioritised over the project.

[@_Ph0enixx_]

You are soooooo beyond strong love. You are inspiring others and I just want to thank you for being so open and vulnerable. You’re helping so many people sharing your experiences 💜💜💜💜

[@Allison_White]

I am 43 yrs old. I spent several years in my early to mid teens (13-16yrs old) trying to get into the industry. I grew up in Dallas, TX, & took my first acting 🎭 class at 13 yrs old. Unfortunately, I was already “dealing” with some health issues & doctors told me I needed to give up playing sports, which was my only outlet. The only thing that felt like it was mine. After being put on an Antidepressant at 12 yrs old, my mom saw an ad for a local TV & Film focused Acting school & encouraged me to give it a try. I was an introvert & without sports, I was a depressed introvert without an outlet. My first acting class was painful, because I was shy & very self conscious. Maybe it was the sports lover in me or maybe it was the undealt with childhood trauma in me, but I committed to “push pass the pain” every Saturday for Acting class. And I did. It took about 4-6 months to not feel like I was going to throw up before or during class. To this very day, I can still remember the high I felt the first time I lost myself in a scene & in a character. I can still feel the butterflies & feeling of awe when I made a room full of the older advanced level teens laugh at something I did in a scene or skit. I think the best “wow” moment I had was at 14, I was allowed to fill in for an absent student for a partner scene for a “Hollywood Showcase.” (A few times a year, Hollywood agents would make a trip to our acting studio & sometimes sign a student that weekend.) This particular 2 student scene was a dark & it involved my character telling her friend that she had been raped. I left my body for the length of this scene & when I flew back into my body when the scene wrapped, I looked up at a very quiet studio full of my peers & best teachers. Everyone was crying. I couldn’t believe I brought through something that moved one of the toughest acting teachers to tears. I was hooked. For several years, I nearly lived at my Acting Studio. I got signed by a local older well known agent, & from 14 - 16 my life revolved around auditions. I booked a few commercials during that time, & even had my first kiss on screen for a commercial. And at the time, I did feel more confident than I ever had in my life. The problem was…. I was always acting. It turns out… that is probably one reason I excelled in acting, I had been disassociating from my body since early childhood due to trauma that I am only NOW (at 43 yrs old) truly working through. I am grateful for my brief years & memories of acting, but I am also, super grateful that I didn’t somehow “make it” to Hollywood. I don’t know if I would have survived it. Alyson, my name is also Allison, and I want you to know how impressed and inspired I am by your work, your heart, your authenticity, intellect, & honesty. The courage it takes to not only work your own recovery ❤️‍🩹 is more than so many understand, but to also share your journey publicly, wow! I find myself teary eyed with gratitude & respect for you. Please keep it up! I feel, The world needs your light & work more than ever before. Lastly, I look forward to your next chapter/ segment regarding your nervous system, as I am currently neck deep in learning all about Polyvagal Theory & healing my central nervous system. Much love & light.

[@sheturnedherpainintoart6956]

Seriously grew up watching you. I am 32 now. You were always beautiful inside and out, I love this podcast it's one of the most authentic things in this fake world right now.

[@stayzennie127]

For what it's worth, I've always seen you as beautiful, plastic surgery or not. I'm sorry you were in an environment that ever made you feel anything less. I've been really enjoying these very thought provoking episodes. Keep up the good work, Alyson! You're doing amazing things

[@lydiayvonne3859]

alyson you were always my favorite disney actresses. im so sorry you put a smile on everyone faces while you were going through hell. It breaks my heart a lot. Im so proud of you for coming out the other side. the only way is through it

[@TheLanaWhite]

I'm not near close to your position as a public figure, but do know that I have flirted with idea of plastic surgery multiple times in the past (and present). I've seen many celebrity transformation videos, and NEVER as a path to judgement, but information. It was flattering to see how features that I already had they worked to get, and a relief that features that I was insecure about, they were insecure about as well. Further than a celebrity experience, this is a common vanity experience, and I think celebrity status just inflates the insecurities further. No judgement for any of the things you've suffered so far. I, too, have suffered from body dysmorphia, and sexual assault, which have been the two topics that have hit close to home for me. You are valuable and intelligent -- I look forward to this content every week, to connect (albeit one-sidedly) with your story. Thank you.

[@healinganhaitian1507]

When I re-watch these videos, I can literally feel the wave of change they are causing, and the change that will come and remain for years after, and that's incredible. I am in awe of, and honored by your bravery. Thank you for your work.

[@dereklarberg6357]

These videos continue to be the highlight of the week. It’s wonderful you had that doctor looking out for you and giving you those assurances. It’s also great that you recovered from your rock bottom as not everyone can say that. Great series and never forget the worth that you have

[@karinamaloney1033]

Your story is touching me like you couldnt imagine. I was fortunate not to grow up with a camera around me, but in the looks department I'm a lot like your pre op self. I'm 33, and for the most part, I've been able to integrate how I look compared to others. Im pretty fit for my age, but the circumstances of the world make it so that my focus is primarily survival, not looks. I have a male friend who felt like a soulmate, and a safe space, and after a long of knowing him, I came forward and expressed direct romantic intent. He told me that I was not his physical standard and he wished it was so. This man is not out of my league look wise or age wise, but I was so surprised to find out that he couldn't meet me on that level. It was a huge strike to my self esteem. I dont think I can be friends anymore, because my love would continue to be unrequited. I've thought about plastic before. I've thought how it would balance out my slightly asymmetrical bodily build and fat storage. This video gives me hope, that no matter what I decide, I am beautiful, and if the average men of the world have started to expect standards that are difficult to meet, it's just a symptom of a bigger problem. Thank you, you are, were, and will be beautiful forever.

[@abelgomez9169]

May I say that as a father of 2 daughters I hope that if they watch ur story that they learn .. God bless

[@jayce8001]

You are an absolutely remarkable human being. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for doing this project. I believe it will help countless people in its presence both now and into the future. You are indeed a hero for doing this. At least by my book. Two things I wish about the topic of cosmetic surgery: 1. I wish there weren't such pressures to have plastic surgery as if it is the only solution for perfection, or some other extreme. It is so damaging and shame on the industry for basically causing people to sometimes maime themselves for it. 2. I wish there weren't such taboos to it though. Especially when it is indeed minor aethetics and to truly improve health and efficiency of the body. What an odessy you have been on Alyson. Truly remarkable how you have been able to navigate through all of that to be who you are today. I truly stand amazed.

[@daunmorse9825]

I think you are more beautiful than any of those other actors that you named. I can't believe ppl called you ugly. You are beauty and brains. You inspire me.

[@TheCorporationLovesYou]

When you talk about the way you saw yourself, I really get a sense of the dysmorphia you were experiencing, because I've never seen a single image of you that looked the way you are describing yourself. I've also struggled with body dysmorphia and as I've been recovering, I've started to realize I also never looked the way I thought I looked. It's crazy what the mind can do. I'm so sorry for the microscope you were raised under. I hope society can come to accept "celebrities" are actual human beings and not some fictional character they can treat however they like. I hope you succeed in making the world a safer kinder place for others in your position. Sending love.

[@wearesojourners]

As a mother I want to just say as a child you were so precious. Such a sweet face, incredible natural talent. I'm so sorry that the industry and so much of this society was a dark place for such a bright young dreaming talented girl. It hurts to know you hurt. I'm so proud of how you've grown. The bravery, the patience and self control you've exercised in your life. Doing things afraid and overcoming that fear. You seem to be on a journey of peace and so much healing. I don't know you and possibly never will meet you, but I'm proud of you. As a human, as a girl, as a woman. Thank you for your words. For your willingness to share your experiences and your story. It's so worth hearing. It has brought so much to light and your life is bringing healing to others and will continue to touch the lives and hearts of so many.

[@jeffmarquez9738]

If she cannot be more amazing, never have I heard somebody articulate ..the way she is. never I have I seen somebody with so much perspective empathy and compassion ..I worked in the neurology for years and have so much respect for her. Congratulations Alyson your journey will help thousands.

[@christianjohnson2918]

Man, we are glad that you are still alive and healing Alyson ❤️

[@yeahiprotest]

I forget when I leave comments online that celebrities may see them

[@cortney8493]

This makes me so sad that people did this to her. As a kid, I just remember her being so beautiful. I never noticed anything that she mentioned, including her nose, and eye. Ever. As an adult, I’m angry that adults conditioned her to feel and think this way. I’m so glad you’re bringing this all to light, and I hope it not only helps you, but others as well ❤ as long as YOU feel beautiful and confident, that is all that matters.

[@jenniferstuart-on8hh]

With every episode I am in awe of your strength. I remember watching you in movies and TV and never realized you were going through such a difficult time. You seemed “normal” to me. I would see other Disney channel stars; Hillary Duff for example- and I remember seeing her in Cheaper by the Dozen 2 and was incredibly saddened to see how thin she was getting. I thought how sad, to feel that you aren’t enough, and that she might not have people there to help her, guide her.. and here you are sharing that experience with us. I’m so glad you are speaking about your experience as a child celebrity and I hope that this series brings more awareness and a change in Hollywood.

[@reniecoffey]

Oh I'm definitely rushing to my friend and sending her this video... to gush about how well spoken and incredible your story is. And how brave (not to mention smart) you are for making the choices you did. Putting yourself into rehab takes a lot of strength especially with how you were intrenched in some extremely toxic mentalities

[@thevelveetarabbit]

My thoughts and views on cosmetic plastic surgery are complex, but what I do know is that no one who opts to undergo those procedures should ever be shamed or mistreated for doing so. It is so difficult to live under oppressive beauty standards that change constantly yet play such a large role in people’s (especially women’s and femme-presenting people’s) perceived value. Thank you for your transparency and honesty through this. I can’t imagine how scary it is to talk about these things, but your grace and compassion through it all is truly amazing to behold. ❤

[@gabrielasavaris7975]

you were definitely the funniest and one of my favorite actresses growing up! But getting to hear you now, so vulnerable and so honest, was amazing! A whole new level of respect for you!

[@costurashop]

Got my nose done at 17 for the same reasons, it was the best decision I made for myself. I felt beautiful for the first time, I always felt like the “ugly” friend it did something to my confidence that everyone noticed.

[@chicchica44]

You’ve always brought main character energy Queen. This series just further solidifies how power we’ve always knew you were. Kudos!🥹🫶🏼👏🏽🌟🙏🏽

[@georgiam4725]

I’m so glad equine therapy helped you Alyson! I’m listening to this while shovelling horse poop at an equine therapy farm that I work on up in Canada. Sending you so much love; this can’t have been easy to share 💕💕💕

[@kaymunoz5507]

This is such next level of vulnerability, but also, is a testament to the fact that we are not showing the care that child star/influencers truly need. There is a need for more emotional support and a need to educate our society that our words have meaning and hold weight. Thus what we say impacts those who are receiving. Thank you for sharing and for doing this heavy lift

[@Rendozu]

Hi Alyson! I love this series because of your authenticity. It takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable and transparent online with such a big audience. I appreciate you coming forward to tell your story. You are inspiring so many people. ❤

[@lolnakoma]

Also Im really glad you said that comment about how you wonder how much our childhood perception still influences us today. I think about that a lot and I think we are more influenced by the way we grew up than we think! I hope you explore that a little more as I probably will too! Stay safe 🙏💙

[@nspencer257]

Amala Ekpunobi brought me here - I don't keep up with celebrities on the regular. You are so strong for sharing all of this. Absolutely no judgment here. You have been on quite a journey and I respect your growth story so much. I'm a huge star wars fan and it absolutely broke my heart about what happened to Jake Lloyd. No one deserves that. Also, I grew up with the Olsen twins. I idolized them and wanted to be just like them! When we all grew up and they went through hard things I never forgot what they said - 'we wouldn't wish our childhood on anyone'. It felt shocking to hear but I have always wondered what they meant. Hearing your words makes me think of them. I hope they have found their own peace and healing.

[@Ella-ck2wu]

I think how I feel looking at you now is a mixture of pride and sadness for being so unaware of the tradeoffs you had to make to live the life you lived on screen. I idolized you growing up. You are one of my favourite actresses, you were on all my favourite shows and movies and I often thought "wow, she must be having so much fun living the dream." Knowing now what you were going through, and how you were feeling and thinking makes me feel a level of sadness that I idolized my version of what I thought your life was like behind the scenes. As a child of course. It's hard to have that perspective. You are still one of my favourite actresses, and I have so much more respect for you than I already did. Doing this project and being so candid in the hopes of helping future child actors is such a noble cause. It takes such strength to do this on the back of sharing all of your dark experiences and best kept secrets. You are so brave Alyson. ❤

[@ghostguru9156]

You are such a strong human being. I was always so excited when I saw you on screen growing up and was sad when I didn’t see you in more things but knowing all I know now- I’m so proud of you and also so happy you put your health first in terms of rehab and getting better. You’re a beautiful person and this series proves and shows your strength and resilience so much 🖤🖤

[@kcanmllvr4evr]

Every episode, there have been moments I get chills. The introspection is beautiful and the way you present everything with such grace is stunning. Thank you for doing this project.

[@BerkeleyStocking-yk6wl]

Thank you for being vulnerable and willing to describe your experience so intimately. I grew up watching you on Disney and in various other roles and it breaks my heart to hear how much you were struggling while the rest of us were merely entertained. I’m so happy you have been able to begin healing yourself🩷 Thank you for speaking up and being an advocate for other child stars.

[@12345cisumevoli]

Thank you so much, Alyson. The world needs to hear this.

[@kristinlynch3674]

I look forward to these episodes every Friday, thank you for your capacity to articulate your experience so thoughtfully and honestly, your vulnerability is inspiring 💜

[@renae3857]

You are insanely smart and such a good speaker. Holy smokes this was an amazing and gripping video. I’m definitely subscribing to hear more of your story

[@makeupandmusicgirl]

I feel like I grew up with you, Alison. I’ve always admired you! And now I admire you even more because you are so intelligent and you express yourself so very eloquently. Thank you for sharing this with us. I have shared it with a few people to expose all this. I hope this helps you heal.

[@mariabarrios7021]

Thank you for sharing your experience. You were truly an icon and I loved every single character I saw you playing, I wasn't an athletic type of girl but I can relate with your struggles when it comes to your appearance and how cruel people are, can't imagine how overwhelming it must be when so many people are constantly criticizing every single thing of you the way stars like you have dealt with. I am glad that things have improved for you and I am sure sharing this with others have at least helped other people realize how hard the reality of being in the industry is for actresses and actors.

[@joelbowyer]

I made it to this episode late, but I just want you to know that you are a BEAUTIFUL soul!! Inside, out, and forever on. Each installment in this series just further pushes the bounds and your transparency is so damn admirable. Thank you for sharing this episode especially.. these heavy topics are really hard to talk about with loved ones, let alone the WORLD. But here you are, offering your experiences to change the industry forever. They started by turning you into a “product” .. now here you are letting the world know you’re taking your individualism back. Keep pulling back the veil that Hollywood has carefully curated, keep making waves. Couldn’t be more proud.. Keep on girlie 🖤

[@animejunkie10]

I love when stars like you get real with their struggles and share their stories. Makes me love and appreciate them even more. Relatability is something that seems lost on so many celebrities today. We WANT them to be human. And to know that you are in a better place today is amazing. *hugs* loves ya Alyson!!

[@Queencrazy1997]

I'm so glad you did what you needed to recover. Don't let anyone tell you what's right for you. Thank you for talking about this so openly. I've always respected you since your child actor days, you're only a few years older than me and it's good to see you gaining confidence in yourself.

[@youthnation5311]

Seeking help and healing is truly so difficult and i want to acknowledge that you should be so proud of yourself for doing that. as i have also have had encounters with rehab and addiction. We find strength in eachother and pull up those who need help. Thank you for sharing.

[@lizwhaley9676]

Wow - your words are so carefully thought out and perfect. I know how much WORK goes into bettering yourself mentally and emotionally. The time it takes, the self-talk, the "thinking about your thinking" - it's exhausting. I'm really proud of you and where you are. So inspiring.

[@Acoconut1214]

Alyson im glad you were brave enough to ignore your mangement and get the help you needed. Being on the outside we don't think about what anyone in the entertainment is actually going through. This is mind opening. I modeled when I was a kid and am glad i got out before I was a teenager. It was my own choice because I missed being with my friends. But I can't imagine what I would've dealt with had I continued. I was already getting the don't eat a lot before auditions, pamplets on how to manage my weight and notes not to change my hair. So again I want to thank you for bringing this to light. It makes me think more about what you all have gone through and are going through. Showing I should be less judgemental. We are all dealing with things and we should always show more compassion to others.

[@caro.statt.streifen6443]

thank you for your openess with your inner and outer struggles. it is beautiful to hear someone talk about those kind of struggles so calm open und truthful. you did it for yourself, and if it brought you just a tiny teensy bit more control and homeness in your own body it was worth it and nobody should be able to judge you for it

[@janiemcqueen4670]

I want to thank you for such an insightful, interactive and thoughtful podcast/video series. I've been listening to it taking and picking up my kids (including 14-year-old daughter) from school. I'm a journalist and appreciate your offering potential solutions and asking questions that really make your listeners think. Thanks for this.

[@maetaylor5677]

I just have so much respect for you working to tell your story. Its one of the hardest and most underrated activities a human can undergo. You do it beautifully. It's just another reinforcement that the way hollywood opperates is so twisted.

[@lakliving]

I have just binged watched this series and love how eye opening and raw it is. As another has said it is a little mind boggling that you didn’t think you were well known. Im in Australia and I listened to your music, loved your movies etc. you were very well known and I seen you as a successful global star. Though I guess that’s a part of the point you are making. We think we know but we don’t, so to speak. Our view of your life and who you were was vastly different to your actual experience. I commend you for this series and what you are trying to achieve. It is certainly needed ❤

[@erinm6684]

Can we give a round of applause for the impeccable sound of this video? 👏👏👏👏 whatever mic you’re using is so good. Also, you can be a voice actor- so soothing! Thank you for sharing!

[@georgiaberg8298]

I don't want this to sound invalidating to your body image struggles but as 99 baby who grew up knowing you from your shows and movies, I have always thought you were so beautiful! I wanted your body shape rather than my own curves and isn't it interesting how we take on different ideas of what it means to be beautiful? This series has been so lovely and thought provoking🤎🤎